Is this true love or just Wishful thinking?
I loved him so at the start
still do!
I'd smile and jump for joy when my phone rings and i knew it was him!
Not quit sure i still do that!
He use to wonder in and out my mind so many times i could not keep count!
He still does!
He use to make my mornings bright ... like the summer sun rise!
Sometimes he still does!
He use to be the reason for me living "this precious life "!
Well now he aint around that much so i sometimes wonder whats the point of living!
He use to be the one that made my heart race , then stop and go again !
He still does ( but for a different reason)!
He was the reason i wore a smile on my face even though life was getting to me!!
Sometimes he still is the reason !!
His memories use to be the greatest , just one thought of him and i'd just fly away to cloud Nine!!
Some memories still have the same affect on me , some just bring tears and hurt break!
I feel like im loving a Love thats not mine
" Why" is what i want to know!!
I LOVED HIM
still do
I'D WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING FOR HIM
still would do
I'D CHANGE MY WAYS FOR HIM
still trying
I'D WOULD MARRY HIM IF HE ASKED
still would
I'D RIDE OR DIE FOR HIM
still would do.
That was that now to the present .....
Now a new twist to the story !!
"A new Life "
Inside of me , Innocently and quitely awaiting my next move!
For life and death are both in my hands
I'd never dare Play GOD !!
but here i am faced with a life time decision
I play it Cool and act calm
but deep down
im crumbling ,
chipping away ,
slowly dying
just at the thought of having to " terminate " a part of me ! me ! me
I guess its "in my best interest " if i " It" let go !!
But my HEART and SOUL
Totally disagree !!!
but i guess this where i've got to do what i got to do !!
And ill have to face judgement (In Heaven) by self knowing i took away an Innocent life
for my on best "interest" (Selfish you can call it )
No child is a Mistake (The worf of GOD say's) So who am i to say different.
Im Hurting and only If you could feel my Pain.
But then again i Love him and will do "Anything" for him !!
so i've go to set my hurting a side!!
and do whats " RIGHT"!
The Question is im so far InLove,
I feel like im losing touch with Myself and the world !!(both good and bad way )
But put him in my position Would he have the same to say about me?
I love him so !!
But i Don't know!!
Contributed by empress shel
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