6-7-2000
Ever since I was a child.
I have been Looking for positive examples of True Love, Long-term Relationships, Marriages, Nirvana, Bliss, Euphoria, Wearing Fair, Like Heaven on Earth and some kind a wonderful spiritual awakening where two souls open up and meld into one.
I know it has happened to some!
I just haven't found one real Clive Wittiness?
Through my dysfunctional journey, few and far between, has my perception of perfection ever been met.
So I cry. And cry and cry... And cry... Sometimes I even go ahead and try! And inevitably some thwarting gust of wind blows by... And you go away... Bye bye.
But I believe that, if ever when, perfection is obtained.
The Perfection Obtaining Mind, Body and Soul, will all automatically go / ascend into the heavens above.
All for one and one in all. Transcending All of the earthly ugliness and translating into a new millennium.
So it is pretty tough on us common sinners.
And
I'm just a simple Truck Driver,
I don't know much about nothin'
Not even drivin' a fuckin' truck for Christ's sake!
Not even how to fuck... ~ My God... er, ah, I mean, with my flesh touching flesh, in and with society's pop culture influences: Get Down, "make love"
And that is what I do!
Damn, am I damned? Or what?
This really sucks!
As the clock ticks
Exhausted possibilities...
Ever since I was a child. I always said. I would never get married, until I was sure I was going to stay married.
Because I didn't want to get a divorce.
Like my parents.
And the Tammy Wynette song that taught me how to spell it.
So all I have had to go on, has been my fantasies.
Trying to convert them into realities. (But not diving in head long with God Speed... Meandering, a man of slow need).
And Failing miserably. Making mistakes, feeling hopeless, without reciprocal hope.
I get a pumice stone, and scrape the callous, from my heart and soul. Knowing some debris will always be me.
Knowing that a lot can change. And change is concurrent, even in the molecules of a rock, but some things will never change, like the fact that you'll never get any water out of that rock.
I am still receptive of your love on this 7th day of June 2000 in the year of our Lord. (Your Birthday! Happy Happy! The Day you have decided, after a month of painful contemplation, to dissolve our holy vows, and the same day my father has been given a another big cut from his life!) Which is why I just can't understand your decision to divorce me? You say you love me! Embrace me and cry. And you say that the look in my eye, is what you have been looking for, and what you have been missing. Now That look is here and it is sincere... So why won't you change you mind? And on this day that your mind has been made. My Dad called and said he Has Cancer... Serious CANCER! And he also said, that you had asked him to hold off on telling me about the CANCER. So as not to hit me with a ton of bricks... Because evidently you felt your selfish divorce news was more important... I guess you guys got your fucking wires crossed huh? And or my poor olé and old cancer ridden Daddy 'O' thought I was exempt from the effect multiple adversities? I'm not quite the rock he is... I was tempted to take the $220.00 dress back to the fuckin' boutique.
But, here it is!
Happy 37th birthday!
You wear it well!
We have been through hell. Let's not meet in heaven. Let’s go there together!
I do, I do, I love you, I do, as much as creation itself.
So maybe, let's say, we just take a breather?
And come back to create a new life together.
I love you with all of my heart, and mind, and body, and soul food kitchen too... Where they have them fried green tomatoes that you love and I hate.
I am so blue,
on your,
Happy Birthday!
That I cry....
Still your loving husband!
Clive
Contributed by evilC
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