Sandra L. Brown, M.A. Current Articles

The Misrepresentation of the Internet

With the need to date fast the internet has taken on the role of a hook-up location. Unfortunately, it is also a potential stalking ground for dating gone awry.

There are some inherent problems with internet dating. It is difficult to read body language, eye lingo, and verbal pacing of sentences via email. One of the ways people can keep themselves safe in dating relationships is to feel and respond to their red flags. Red flags are greatly reduced by the inability to see first hand someone’s immediate response to statements or questions. Email, which is usually how people first talk when met on the internet, impairs the ability to get early insight into potential problems.

People have created false senses of intimacy via internet dating. I know of one woman who met a man from Iran on the internet and went there to marry him without ever having met him in person. It was a disaster and hard for her to get back to the states. He was nothing that he had represented himself as.

The internet increases fantasy—you can be whoever you want to be with someone you aren’t sure you will ever meet. The increase in non-credible information about someone is significantly higher. People can lie about where they live, their marriage status, career, and even appearance.

I met my husband, Greg Esslinger from Metropolis, IL, works at Honeywell,  on Yahoo Personals.  We dated a little over a year and he proposed.  He has a bad temper and is an Alcoholic.  We had our ups and downs and he struck one time, when we were out of  town in Nashville, TN.  He was arrested and spent 12 hours in jail and we had a trial date set, which was August 22.  He was on very good behavior since then and I had not clue of what was to come.  Our first anniversary was August 5, 2006, he left me the day before while I was gone to the grocery store.  We had reservations to stay at the Opryland Hotel for our anniversary, and his 16 year old son was staying with us at the time, so his 16 year old had to tell me that his Dad had left. 

I later found out that he had been talking to one of my "friends", Lori Karnes, from West Paducah, KY, and she works at Louisville Lazer of Paducah, for 2 weeks before he left me.  I confronted her and she didn't think she was doing anything wrong.  I also found out that she had broken up other marriages, mine being the third one.  Two of Greg's friends have slept with her and he still left me for her?!   He lived with me in my house and now he rents a camper, and she rents a 2 bedroom apartment that she shares with her 10 year old daughter.  They certainly deserve each other. 

So yes, ladies be careful when you date on line.