Pornography Addiction:  The Progression

Thanks to Morality In Media for the use of the following information from Healing Sexual and Pornography Addictions by Dr. Victor Cline.

FIRST STEP - ADDICTION
"The first change that happened was an addiction-effect. The porn-consumers got hooked. Once involved in pornographic materials, they kept coming back for more and still more... The pornography provided very exciting and powerful imagery which they frequently recalled to mind and elaborated on in their fantasies."

"Once addicted, they could not throw off their dependence on the material by themselves, despite many negative consequences such as divorce, loss of family, and problems with the law (such as sexual assault, harassment or abuse of fellow employees)."

"... many of my most intelligent male patients appeared to be most vulnerable—perhaps because they had a greater capacity to fantasize, which heightened the intensity of the experience and made them more susceptible to being conditioned into an addiction."

"... It is difficult for non-addicts to comprehend the totally driven nature of a sex addict. When the "wave" hits them, nothing can stand in the way of getting what they want, whether that be pornography accompanied by masturbation, sex from a prostitute, molesting a child, or raping a woman. These men are consumed by their appetite, regardless of the cost or consequences. Their addiction virtually rules their lives."

SECOND STEP - ESCALATION
"The second phase was an escalation-effect. With the passage of time, the addicted person required rougher, more explicit, more deviant... sexual material to get their "highs" and "sexual turn-ons." It was reminiscent of individuals afflicted with drug addictions. Over time there is nearly always an increasing need for more of the stimulant to get the same initial effect."

"... Their addiction and escalation were mainly due to the powerful sexual imagery in their minds, implanted there by the exposure to pornography."

THIRD PHASE - DESENSITIZATION
"The third phase was desensitization. Material (in books, magazines, or films/videos) which was originally perceived as shocking, taboo-breaking, illegal, repulsive, or immoral, in time came to be seen as acceptable and commonplace. The sexual activity depicted in the pornography (no matter how anti-social or deviant) became legitimized. There was an increasing sense that "everybody does it" and this gave them permission to also do it, even though the activity was possibly illegal and contrary to their previous moral beliefs and personal standards."

FOURTH PHASE - ACTING OUT SEXUALLY
"The fourth phase was an increasing tendency to act out sexually the behaviors viewed in the pornography, including compulsive promiscuity, exhibitionism, group sex, voyeurism, phone sex, picking up women online, frequenting massage parlors/ escorts, having sex with minor children, rape, and inflicting pain on themselves or a partner during sex. This behavior frequently grew into a sexual addiction which they found themselves locked into and unable to change or reverse—no matter what the negative consequences were in their life."

(*As seen in clinical studies of sex addicts, sex offenders, or other individuals [96% male] with sexual illnesses. )
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The porn addict... Accountability

As men, we carry our pride like a badge of honor. We use it for a shield against anything that might threaten our self-esteem. We hide behind it when other people attempt to offer suggestions which, if followed, would require us to change our courses in life. We know better than anyone else what is best for ourselves. After all, we managed to bring ourselves to the place in life where we are. And we will do a fine job of going on the next step.

Therein lies one of the greatest problems that men who are addicted to pornography face. Because they believe that they know what is best for them, and because they do not want anyone violating their manhood by telling them what to do, they continue blindly down the same road of destruction that brought them to the place where they are. That place may be one where, because of his pornography addiction, his marriage has fallen apart, his financial situation has deteriorated, and worst of all, his spiritual relationship has all but disappeared.

It is crucial that men come to the understanding that they cannot fight this battle alone. Perhaps you are one who considers himself to be a "self-made man," one who has fought his way up the corporate ladder - only to find that you were the only one there when you arrived. If you are a pornography addict, you should consider that by yourself, you managed to crawl all the way to where you are. In the world of pornography use and addiction, the ladder goes down, not up. It goes straight down into a pit that has the ability to totally consume any of us.

Accountability is often discounted as nothing more than a crutch, a place to hide one's own inadequacies. Objections to accountability are usually rooted in pride - that same pride that says you don't need help.

Admitting the need for accountability is not surrendering your manliness. It is not the sign of a weak person. It is not a crutch that might allow one to think he can walk without assistance when in fact, he can't. Instead, it is the sign of a man who is big enough to admit that he cannot do everything. Accountability is one of the most powerful weapons we have in the battle against pornography addiction. The use of that weapon allows us to admit to our friend (our accountability partner) that we have come against something that, at least for a moment was more powerful than we were. It allows us to admit that we need help to fight that enemy, but in a way that brings no reproach. Ultimately, it provides support in a battle that simply cannot be fought alone.

Straight answers to tough questions and excuses.
Accountability is only one part of a successful plan for recovery. There are other factors involved, like getting over the selfishness that characterizes most pornography addicts.

An accountable person...

- is not afraid to be vulnerable.

- gladly accepts the availability of such helps as a filtered ISP [or counseling]

- can recognize and admit when he has fallen.

- picks himself back up after a fall.

- [can face those they hurt, genuinely apologize and make amend]

The Accountability Partner

What they are...

- A friend who cares enough to ask the hard questions.

- One who is willing to be diligent in keeping contact with the addicted person.

- One who is capable of looking beyond the hurts, anger, and frustration that characterizes pornography addiction.

What he is not...

- A person upon whom the addicted one can cast his facade of normalcy.

- One who is to be taken advantage of.

- One whom you should expect to believe your excuse or lies.

- One who will not o.k. your need to run from the consequence of your actions.