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Well I‘m going to try to keep this long story short. I‘ll point form what I can.

-been in many relationships where I‘ve been screwed around, where trust has been broken, been cheated on, had things said to me that in the end were proven to be nothing more than lines and charm

-started dating again in March/April of this year

-didn‘t want to get involved because I knew I wasn‘t ready, there was nothing a man could say to me that I would believe, in fact ALL of it sounded like bulls**t

-started dating this one guy Jared in early May

-at first wasn‘t all that interested, however he seemed very interested, started to seem very genuine and charming

-after several dates (maybe 4 or 6) he hadn‘t even made a single move on me, no kisses or anything, in fact, it seemed like trying to get him to move a mountain before he even first attempted a cuddle with me and most of our first few dates were watching movies in his bed

-things progressed slowly, or at least slower than I was used to, we spent time together, had fun, cuddled, still hadn‘t had sex, and I made it quite clear to him that I was NOT ready to have someone have any expectations of me as far as a relationship went, he was patient, sat back and said that he would wait as long as it took

-there came a point where I felt I was being unfair by committing to him and sent him an email apologizing that I couldn‘t give him my all, and that if he wanted to walk away he could, but that I still wasn‘t ready

-finally in the end of July I committed to a relationship with him

-end of August came and while he was drunk used those 3 deadly words on me "I love you"

-since then I moved out of my parents house and into my own place with my 4 year old daughter

-he spends a few nights a week with me

-he seems really comfortable

HOWEVER...his behaviour has changed in many ways

-it‘s obvious the "honeymoon" period is over so there is no need to chram me or court me anymore, but now he barely cuddles, he‘s not openly emotional, doesn‘t talk at all about how he feels and although he says he loves me and is present in my life...something in my gut says there is something wrong

-part of me wants to put bait out there thinking that maybe he‘s hanging on just until he finds something more appealing  and then I think that maybe I‘m just being paranoid

What is it with me...why do some get right "crazy" in love over us, over affectionate, want to spend every minute with us and then others are completely aloof leaving us unsure.

Where and how do I find reassurance that I am what he wants and that he‘s still interested in me?

I have a hard time talking to him openly about how I feel too, I mean I could, but I‘m just so worried that once I open myself wide open that I‘m going to hurt twice as much.

I don‘t know if I‘m just paranoid because of everything I have been through in the past or if ths is is my guts way of telling me that something is really wrong.

Oh and I found a email he sent someone too where he said "dating a new girl now and well we‘ll see"....plus all these people he has been in touch with from the past, he talks about where he‘s working, living and his daughter, but no mention of me at all, only the once in the email I mention above.

If anyone can please just give me an objective opinion...I need to get all this off my chest and need advice.

Shit or get off the pot, yes you‘re rigth with your understanding. However, I think I‘ve been misunderstood. When him and I first got involved, I knew that because of my past experiences I was not ready to get involved again in a committed relationship. I guess I didn‘t explain quite clearly in the first post as I was trying to keep it simple, but a few weeks after the email I had sent him about not being ready yet to be in a relationship, I had went to him and told him that I was ready.

Not that I told him this at the time, but the more time him and I spent together, the more I realized he really was a keeper, he seemed genuine.

My biggest problem with men back before Jared and I got involved was lack of trust. Because of what I had been through in the three years prior to this past spring, I had a really hard time believing anything ANY man said to me. To me all of it was lies and manipulation. But things were different with Jared, he seemed real. I watched him with his friends, seen his relationships with other people in general and all in all, he seemed like he meant things that he said. So, once I was past that stage of  thinking "yeah ok, sure you really mean that" in my head, I felt that I could be involved with him. It was very openly stated in July that we were officially involved in a committed relationship. So really I did get off the pot/or shit...whichever way you want to look at it. I didn‘t send mixed signals, in fact I was very clear.

I hope that clears up that aspect of your reply.

Now about the challenge part...I‘m sure you‘re right, there‘s always more challenge in it for the man when the woman is living at home with family. However, him being 29 and living on his own, and me being 27 and having the ability to leave my daughter once in bed with my stepmom to go out with him, it‘s not like I had curfews or many rules that created much of a challenge. Sure things are much easier now as far as how much time we can spend together or how loud we can be in the bedroom!

Hmmm...well, I must say thank you for planting my feet back on the ground in regards to the email message I had read of his...you‘re right, we have all done it...I suppose I can‘t take something personal that I was never meant to see, if he knew I was going to be reading it, I‘m sure it wouldn‘t have been said like that.

As much as I feel like there‘s a slight dagger in your responses, I also have to say maybe that dagger is partially what I need to keep me in line. So when you say slip on his moccasins, just where do you see him standing in all this? You ask what kind of confidence I think he has coming into my life with me having a child....call me stupid if you must for asking this...but really what does my situation with a child have to do with his confidence? His longest relationship was with the mother of his child who had a young boy and girl already when Jared became involved with her, they then hada child of their own, she cheated on him and the relationship lasted around 3 years or so. I guess I don‘t think children cause confidence issues, but you seeing the basic outline of this all objectively maybe I‘m just blind here on the inside of my own box.

I‘d like to know if anyone has ever created a completely fake profile on a dating site or social networking site to try to either leur their spouse or to tempt them in some way? Please fill me in on the details?

The other thing I‘m wondering if anyone knows of a site where there are woman who are willing to 100% help other woman to catch a lier....for instance, someone comes to me and requests I go after their spouse and then be like a human reporter back to the woman? Has anyone here tried that? I‘d like to try that...it‘s like a game of hook, line and sinkHIM!

We need to think of ways to promote this website here in Canada without exposing our identies!

Any suggestions?

Oh my.....why do I feel as though I‘ve said something wrong here?

Please tell me, is this forum not a place to share our experiences, offer and receive advice, and learn more about other woman‘s experiences with men?

Meandnotyou...did I offend you in some way? Without knowing you or being familiar with your online demeanor, yes I sensed some daggers in the first replies you made, and maybe I was wrong at assuming that. Considering you are an avid forum participant, I‘m sure you are aware of the fact that it is easy to misunderstand another person‘s attitude through post, hence why I was open about assuming you had been very blunt.

And to clear up the name change, I tried to choose my username as is at the time of registration and for some reason it wouldn‘t allow it. I tried changing it afterwards and it worked. Why such a simple action on my part has become an issue I‘m not sure, but now that I‘ve cleared that up...on with the day!

I thought maybe I had found a forum where there is unity between woman, however, if I feel as though I need to defend myself in any way, maybe I need to go elsewhere.

I‘ll be damned if anyone is going to shun me in any way!

WOW!

Ok to begin, I only read the original post here, I don‘t have time to go through all the replies, so I apologize if I mention something already said or if I ask a question which has already been answered.

First thing I want you to know is that I too have struggled with my weight all my life, not that I would be considered FAT, but of course, as you had said, many woman struggle with the "FAT" complex even when they know they are not. All it takes is one day of bloat for us to FEEL fat!

First of all, your husbands so-called constructive critism is horribly cruel and there is no justification for that behaviour. If he was really supportive and being CONSTRUCTIVE he would see that you need him at your side helping you. Eating disorder and lack of self esteem are HUGE issues that lead to other issues, just as you said...no friends, no life, no activities with the kids, etc.!

BUT...HE IS NOT THE ONE DOING THIS TO YOU...IT IS YOU DOING THIS TO YOU! HE IS NOT THE ONE CREATING YOUR MISERY...IT IS YOU CREATING THIS MISERABLE SELF REFLECTION.

I know you hate to hear that as we all like to have someone or something to blame, it is very difficult to learn to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions. But here‘s the thing....IT IS MERELY YOUR ATTITUDE YOU NEED TO CHANGE.....the more you tell yourself you are fat, the more you will feel fat and the more others will see you as fat. You have to remember, people see in us what we project outwards about ourselves. So, if we give someone else the impression we don‘t like ourselves for whatever reason (because we‘re fat or have a crooked nose, or because our hair is falling out, whatever), then other people will sense that, and maybe not conciously. On the other hand, if some 600lb woman was the spokesperson for a beauty supply company and she walked around with her head held high, spoke with confidence and worked towards accomplishing great things as well as selling her products and spoke inspirational words to others about beauty, what would you think of her...that she‘s a great person, a leader, an example, someone who knows her shit, is able to accomplish great things and feel good about herself ...EVEN THOUGH SHE‘S 600lbs! We see in others what they see in themselves. So all this time while you are saying and feeling fat and talking about it and focusing on it....you are influencing him to see it too, and think about it, and talk about it and focus on it! STOP STOP STOP....start projecting your energy in such negative places hun, you and your kids deserve more than that! You are better than that, worth more than that....and ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE IT...not your husband.

Think about this. If you were 120lbs and felt good about yourself and had lots of self confidence, would you care that the troubled bulemic 18 year old sitting on the bench at the mall was thinking as you walked by her that you are fat? I mean c‘mon, seriously, if we have confidence in ourself, what do we care what other people think? What others think is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS anyway...is it? NO! What is your business is to get your confidence back in a healthy way.

You talk about wanting to leave your husband and all the reasons that make it difficult and ultimately how you don‘t want to because you want your kids to remain in what you call "good lifestyle"...what I find very contradictive is that you also talk about how you want your husband to go through the eating disorder hospitalizations with you so he can feel guilty and how you have thought about suicide for the sake of trying to make him feel bad for what you blame him for doing. HOW HEALTHY IS THAT FOR YOUR KIDS AND WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR THEM?

Your post was originally about your husband and his porn addiction....then mainly about your lack of self confidence and your long time struggle with eating disorders and your so-called FAT. My opinion....if you were confident in yourself, the porn would probably not be an issue for you relative to your weight, so let‘s not assume that they go hand in hand. Cuz really, it‘s your lack of self confidence which you are responsible for via your attitude that is the problem here more than anything. Stop trying to fix your hubby‘s porn problem and focus that energy on yourself, your attitude, your health and well being.

I don‘t want you to think that I‘m being harsh, even though I may come across that way, sure this reply is blunt, however, I do sympathize with you in many ways, whether you are 190lb or 300 lbs.

A few questions so I can further reply more accurately.

1. How much do you weight?

2. What are your eating habits like (what kind of food do you eat, how often and your proportion sizes).

3. Do you exercise regularily or involve yourself in any type of activities that would help with weight?

4. Have you seen councelors/dieticians/health practitioners of any sort to help you?

5. How educated are you on fat, weight problems, available options for these problems, solutions, the eating disorders and root causes of all the above issues?

6. Who do you believe is in control of your life?

I look forwad to hearing your response on this.

New around this forum, so I‘m reading this and that, here and there!

First of all, I would love to know how the tests turned out? I‘m sure we all would love to know how you‘re doing, no matter what the outcome has been...we‘re here for you right!

I don‘t have any std‘s or sexually transmitted diseases, but I have a couple friends who have believed for many years that they have a type of HPV that causes genital warts, and also have herpes. Now it‘s never been clear to me if they know this for sure. They are a couple, he says he breaks out once in a while with the warts and that he doesn‘t have herpes outbreaks. She on the other hand, had her warts taken care of when she first had them and once the treatments were done they said she was clear of the actual warts but that she would likely be just a carrier of HPV, but she does believe that she has reoccuring herpes outbreaks.

His family doctor apparantly specializes in STD‘s and made some statements to him that I found to be wonderfully soothing advice for anyone dealing with these issues. So I shall pass this on.

Doctor says to him, "would you be embarrased to have a cold sore(herpes) on your lip? Either way, wouldn‘t you rather have it in a hidden place, a place where only you and your partner have to see it and only those you choose to tell about it know about it? Same thing with the warts, people get them all the time on their feet and hands and have to deal with other people seeing it."

It‘s so stereotypical of the average person to be grossed out by these type of diseases, yet it‘s everywhere. Some people have outbreaks of both HPV genital warts and Herpes and others don‘t. Some people are able to overcome the HPV virus without ever knowing they have it. Men...will never know they are carriers unless its one of the types to cause warts, and woman can have any type of HPV lie dormant for years before tests discover it. HPV is becoming a norm, sad, but true. Herpes is everywhere and many people walk around with it on their lips where everyone can see, and although many people don‘t get it on their genitals, there are those unfortunate few who do get it from either an infected partner or from a partner who goes down on them and carries the virus on their mouth. What does a person do?

Both of theses virus‘s are transmittable even when using a condom and neither have guaranteed cures. We really need to stop feeding the stereotypes out there and start understanding that no matter who we sleep with or what their sexual behaviours are....any one of us can get either of these diseases at any time no matter what precautions we take. We could be carriers and not even know even though we have been tested in the past. We can be with the same partner for many years, and not know that HPV has been lying dormant for years and all of a sudden comes out of no where....how would we feel if our partner rejected us, criticized us and shunned us for that.

Think about it....this is not HIV...it‘s HPV and Herpes. Some HPV can be cancer causing once active, however, as long as us woman take the precautionary measures necessary to deal with cellular changes, there are medications out there to help before it turns into cancer. Herpes is merely a pain in the ass and an eyesore...but it‘s not going to kill anyone.

Now if any of the information I‘ve passed on here is inaccurate or just completely wrong, please feel free to correct me. I‘m going based on my understanding, what has been told to me by that couple and what I have researched.  But I hope that people are able to look at these diseases with less disgust in the people that have them. Not all infected persons get it because they sleep with trash!

Good advice, however my trust issues aren‘t with him directly, my trust issues stem from my past experiences and the fear that ALL men are lying, cheating pieces of shit. On the contrary, with the information I have available to me that is concrete, I think he is worthy of being trusted.

The only reason I would want to investigate further would be to confirm I‘ve made a correct or incorrect judgement about trusting him.

And mostly, this particular post is not really relative to specifics, I‘m just curious is general about what other people think about doing this, have they done it, what‘s the story, are there other websites out there that focus on this kind of thing etc.

You are right though, if I get to a place where I don‘t trust him, best to leave him. And no, it‘s not a money issue, he doesn‘t live with me or support me, so I could move on without him much easier than most.

Ok, so I‘m new around here, everyone here at one point or another was a newbie! But I‘m disgusted with the hostility around here.

I‘ve been reading some threads where some of you woman are nothing more than a bitch and nothing less than bitter as hell! What‘s up with that?

Of course I‘m not aware of each member‘s particular story and reason for joining this forum, and I‘m sure an understanding of that MAY give justification to the responses I‘m reading in many places, but seriously, as woman, who most of us have been or are in similar boats with men.....where the hell is the unity around here.

Where is the support, the sympathy, the understanding, the advice without harshness?

I‘m not the whore that your husbands/boyfriend slept with, I‘m not the homewrecker that caused your children hurt and pain, started a divorce....and I don‘t plan on resorting to ever becoming one of those people.

Who am I and what am I doing here. Well I‘m going to make it quite clear to all of you, LIKE IT OR NOT!!

I‘m 27, a single mother of a 4 year old little girl. I work for my late father‘s company, which my blessing of a stepmother now owns and operates. My stepbrother runs the PR side of things, and being the rookie at the company, I‘m learning and working my way up.  A few years ago I wasn‘t sure this was where I wanted to be, so I went to college, took esthetics, completed it and have since chose not to follow that as a career path. I am going to work my way up the ladder here. My relationships with men have been crappy, though I must say I‘ve been lucky to not have the shit beat out of me by any of them, with one exception who came close a couple times. I‘ve been cheated on, lied to, manipulated and been in a couple relationships where I thought I had found the "one". I still deal quite often with many "issues" that stem from the negative past experiences that I had with those men. That is what brought me here mostly. My first thread..."gut feeling or insecurities based on past experiences"....that should speak for itself. I‘m currently 5 months into a relationship with a man who appears trustable, who seems genuine and who treats me quite fine indeed, HOWEVER...the words "appears" & "seems" and you‘ll find me using the statement "I believe" quite often, all show my lack of confidence in my own ability to judge correctly which is merely a result of believing in those assholes in the past who pulled the wool over my eyes and made choices that left me doubting my ability to judge ones character and recognize the lies!

I would hope that there is some support around here from someone...anyone, but so far no go.

TO ALL MEMBERS OF THIS SITE....picture yourself in a room with a bunch of woman, gathering the same common issues here, please speak your peace (or lack thereof)....cuz I really don‘t understand what all the hatred, hostility and anger is about.

This is everyone here‘s chance to either drive me off this forum or convince me there‘s some not-so-nasty woman who are worth sticking around to share with and learn from!

You had responded to an earlier thread of mine, you know the one where I need help because I‘d be willing to set the bait to see if any bf would bite? LOL...it‘s all good, I may need help, however, I‘m not too worried about how messed up I am...all the nasty, hostile, more experienced woman around here are apparantly going to set me straight before any costly councellor will! LOL

For sure professional advice is helpful, I agree. I‘m working hard on learning to recognize what are MY issues and what would be OUR (Jared & I) issues! It‘s coming, slowly, but surely.

Not that I have all the answers, but any time I ever go speak to a councelor, they always tell me "You seem to know what you need to do, write it all down and reflect back on what you write"....so I‘ve done that, and kept the costly buggers out of it! I tend to be very head strong and at the same time very emotionally weak when it comes to my love for a man....but I always get through it! Never dwell on the bs, just learn from it all...all those shitty experiences are learning tools!

Thank goodness someone understands this madness that goes on in my head.

In one way, I do understand the idea that setting someone up to cheat is wrong, but in another way it is one of the ONLY ways one would find out that their partner is a cheater before the damage is already done.

I‘ve always said that trust is something that should be earned, not given! But in order to "earn" that trust, that man also need not be openly bombarded with interrogation, possessiveness, jealousy and having to explain himself either. I feel that the trust needs to be earned in more silent ways, so you wait, and you watch and you see how he deals with his friends and family...does he lie to them, does he make excuses? How open is he about things in regards to his "woman" friends, does he introduce them, does he talk about me, does he ask that I be involved with his friends? Also, you have to look at his past relationships, why did they break up, was he previously suspected of being a cheater? Does she still talk to him or is she bitter for some reason, did she ever come back, did he go back to her? There are tonnes of things that one can watch for to indicate that he‘s worthy of being trusted. HOWEVER....no matter how great of a guy he is and no matter how much all the above may point in the direction of him being trustable....SEX CAN BE VERY TEMPTING TO A MAN...we all know that, and if he feels desired by another woman, trust isn‘t always the first issue, the first issue now is how well can he avoid this temptation. Does he have self control and will power? Does he give in to temptation? Wave a chocolate bar in front of a woman‘s nose.....if she‘s a chocolate lover, she will probably give in, does that mean she will cheat if she‘s a nympho and is sexually tempted? Not necessarily. However....for both men and woman, if you put desire, fantasy and forseen sexual pleasure in their head....what does or doesn‘t stop them from giving into that temptation is NOT indicated clearly by anything other than the real thing. So, sure, he can earn trust through many silent tests on a day to day basis, but I believe the only way I‘m going to for sure know that he will or won‘t give into the temptation of sex with someone else is if he‘s put to that test. Maybe I‘m messed up for feeling this way, but I too think that my distrust is valid. One can only be screwed over so many times before one says to themself..."ok, it‘s not my fault they cheated, but fool me once, shame on him, fool me twice, SHAME ON ME for being so blind and not covering my ass" and I sure would like to find out he‘s going to give in before he comes home, has intercourse with me and gives me some disease or I get a call that he‘s knocked up some other woman. Which of the two is more Jerry Springer...the woman who sets up the decoy or the man who knocked up his mistress and brought his gf/wife home some HIV/HPV/Herpes etc? .......Think about it!

That is some of the best and most soothing and realistic advice given to me yet. Great objective opionion to keep reading back on while I venture through the shit I‘m going through right now.

You are right in everything you said! Thank you!

There are still issues I haven‘t brought to the forum, I just haven‘t had that much time to reflect and write (at work through the day), but over the next few days, keep an eye out for further posts revealing more of what‘s going on in my head!

Thanks again!

Could you tell me further details of how you met this woman who was willing to do this and what you two agreed on? Do you both have access to this profile, and if HE WERE to message her, would she forward you ALL the conversations? I‘m really thinking this might be a must as I discovered today in his inbox that he signed up for an account with friendjungle on October 30th-BUT he did not activate the account, however, I DID....his profile was not completed, but it did say "Looking to meet new friends"....which were his own words, not a box you select or anything. Now he is a very social person and what not, but why would someone need to sign up for an account with this site when you have TONNES of friends, a 6 year old daughter, a full time job, a girlfriend and live with 3 other roommates....he‘s by no means lonely or bored and he sure as hell doesn‘t have much spare time. So, this worries me, but I can‘t jump to conclusions just yet.

The saga continues silently.

I‘m a little pissed today.

More updates to come. Feel free to chill me out with your objective opinions!

Sorry, my misunderstanding was when you said "I met my friend on the internet" I thought you meant the friend that was helping you with the fake profile...but now I realize you meant your friend that you are dating. Now I‘m further curious....with all the woman out there that do have profiles with photos and such, how likely do you really think that he would contact a fairly inactive (and I suppose I‘m only assuming that your fake account would be inactive based on how you use it, correct me if I‘m wrong) member on that site that has no photos? I mean, when I was on a dating website, I wouldn‘t contact members without photos, only ones with...now I would respond to members who made first contact if they didn‘t have pics, but after a while of talking I would always ask for photos.

Do you mind me asking which site you are using? I‘m just curious. You can message me with that info if you don‘t want to post it openly.

I will be giving the members around here a chance. And I‘m always willing to laugh.

It‘s interesting posting a thread like this, you pull the fish out of the water that you‘re looking for. I‘m not going to judge anyone or this forum based on a few nasty posts/replies I‘ve read...I would hope that everyone give each other a fair chance, newbie or not, at gradually revealing who they are and what situation they are in!

I came here looking for support, and now, I feel as though it‘s available here....I wasn‘t sure at first. LOL!

Can‘t wait to get to know everyone a little more!

This was a post I made on the "woman‘s health and sex issues" board in the thread "does someone know this".

I think though it would help if I made this statement here.

I don‘t have any std‘s or sexually transmitted diseases, but I have a couple friends who have believed for many years that they have a type of HPV that causes genital warts, and also have herpes. Now it‘s never been clear to me if they know this for sure. They are a couple, he says he breaks out once in a while with the warts and that he doesn‘t have herpes outbreaks. She on the other hand, had her warts taken care of when she first had them and once the treatments were done they said she was clear of the actual warts but that she would likely be just a carrier of HPV, but she does believe that she has reoccuring herpes outbreaks.

His family doctor apparantly specializes in STD‘s and made some statements to him that I found to be wonderfully soothing advice for anyone dealing with these issues. So I shall pass this on.

Doctor says to him, "would you be embarrased to have a cold sore(herpes) on your lip? It‘s very common to have it on your mouth, and either way, wouldn‘t you rather have it in a hidden place, a place where only you and your partner have to see it and only those you choose to tell about it know about it? Same thing with the warts, people get them all the time on their feet and hands and have to deal with other people seeing it. Both are essentially the same thing many people deal with in more visible ares, why get all worked up about it being in a more private area"

It‘s so stereotypical of the average person to be grossed out by these type of diseases when they are on the genitals, yet it‘s everywhere. Some people have outbreaks of both HPV genital warts and Herpes and others don‘t. Some people are able to overcome the HPV virus without ever knowing they have it. Men...will never know they are carriers unless its one of the types to cause warts, and woman can have any type of HPV lie dormant for years before tests discover it. HPV is becoming a norm, sad, but true. Herpes is everywhere and many people walk around with it on their lips where everyone can see, and although many people don‘t get it on their genitals, there are those unfortunate ones who do get it from either an infected partner or from a partner who goes down on them and carries the virus on their mouth. What does a person do? Deal with it with the best attitude you can have about it.

Both of theses virus‘s are transmittable even when using a condom and neither have guaranteed cures. We really need to stop feeding the stereotypes out there and start understanding that no matter who we sleep with or what their sexual behaviours are....any one of us can get either of these diseases at any time no matter what precautions we take. We could be carriers and not even know even though we have been tested in the past. We can be with the same partner for many years, and not know that HPV has been lying dormant for years and all of a sudden comes out of no where....how would we feel if our partner rejected us, criticized us and shunned us for that.

Think about it....this is not HIV...it‘s HPV and Herpes. Some HPV can be cancer causing once active, however, as long as us woman take the precautionary measures necessary to deal with cellular changes, there are medications out there to help with cellular changes before it turns into cancer. Herpes is merely a pain in the ass and an eyesore...but it‘s not going to kill anyone.

Now if any of the information I‘ve passed on here is inaccurate or just completely wrong, please feel free to correct me. I‘m going based on my understanding, what has been told to me by that couple and what I have researched.  But I hope that people are able to look at these diseases with less disgust in the people that have them. Not all infected persons get it because they sleep with trash!

NOTE: remember I did originally write the above in response to another post, so some of my statements are not applicable to your original post. My point is simply just to get the message across that you need not be disgusted and you need not really worry....they‘re both just diseases that society has to learn to stop being disgusted by.

Well...I don‘t know you, and sure as hell ain‘t going to judge you. If you don‘t mind me asking, who and why are you looking for anyone/someone to let you have it and why do you think someone is talking about you behind your back?

Well I ain‘t been around here long enough for the name and/or the rose to say anything!

Would someone kindly shed some light on this for me cuz I‘m totally confuzed! LOL

Many years ago I found this site that I‘ve come to love.

www.higherawareness.com

Sign up for ALL thier free email subscriptions as well as on their sister pages, especially the soul journey website. 

It‘s stuff like these that are inspirational, uplifting and most importantly, passes on messages that are key concepts for changing our attitudes and thought processes.

I wish I could MAKE people read this stuff....it‘s so worth while! 

...the ebook "Catch Him & Keep Him"?

I started reading it a while back, it was good. I was at a time in my life where I had the attitude "if it doesn‘t save this one, at least I‘ll have used him as first round practice for applying the rules in this book"

Anyone have any REALLY good suggestions for other books that are helpful to relationships and understanding men?

Why is every thread I go to so confusing to me? It‘s like a whole bunch of members know what is going on everywhere, with everyone, on every board and have read every thread.....why can‘t I just find a thread where the topic is the topic and the replies are relative to that topic?

Here, people are spoken of who don‘t even exist anymore.

I feel like I need someone to give me a complete rundown on the whole "season" here on WS‘s and all the "characters" and their stories.

How long does it take for a newbie to become familiar with all the dramas? I‘m anxious!

A Man‘s Hungry & Horny Solution = Prostitute waitress with food in her hands = Happy Man with full belly who just emptied his load!

A Happy Woman - sperm donation for child bearing, one gay man for the child rearing, a large dildo for the fixing, a unemployed younger live-in sibling to do the cooking and cleaning....and a sorry ass mother fucking ex to soak alimony/spousal/child support out of to cover all the shopping!

Well I agree with everything that everyone has said here. Those are all wonderful reason to love being a woman.

But the bestest part of all about being a woman is that I‘m ruled by my heart and it‘s emotions and my thoughts and their confusions rather than by a ugly looking cock and it‘s urgency to ejaculate.....how sorry for a man I feel when that is ruling his world.

Now we have to keep that in the back of our minds.

Mental Note: Remember how important their unsightly package is to them and then ask yourself...how can we possibly believe they can figure out what is really important?

No need to get wound up when I can get it all off my chest.

Happy as happy can be my dear....hope you‘re having a happy day yourself!

You know Lorrie, the pic, it‘s kind of symbolic to the thread title.

As the glass empties for us (and we become intoxicated and disluded), we fall prey to having a bf and letting another mofo into our lives

....then as the glass appears to be getting fuller in our life and we feel good about ourself, feeling strong, confident and independent (symbolic of the "glass is half full") we get rid of the bf...

...we say "cheers" in celebration with that full glass....

...THEN the truth comes out as we get tipsy...and  we begin to sing the blues over leaving them, we drink the full glass to to empty again ....and we say "oh look at that guy over there, he‘s hot" and once agiain we fall prey....and the cycle continues!

1. I‘ve only been around this board for a week or so, BUT....this is not the type of shit you bring to this board whether you‘re trying to change or not. If you do bring this type of situation, you best have some fancy dancy, super sophisticated way to articulate that so-called-truthful story to the women around here.....cuz that story my dear...in 1...JUST ONE week time....I‘ve learned is the type of shit that will have you verbally shot-down to nothing....or...simply getting called a troll.

2. Cheers if you really are trying to change or get better or whatever...but pardon me for saying it...if someone at your age (even 5-8 years younger than your posted age) does the things you did to your ex‘s ex gf......you deserve what you got in the end. I‘m glad to hear you got to go through the same thing you put this woman through...and I hope that you keep learning the lesson over and over and over and over again....cuz that story you put in your first post was 150% cruel with ABSOLUTELY ZERO REASONS for justification!

It‘s your type that I find disgusting and make me ill! It‘s because of women like you, who make women like me worried about my man, cuz if he‘s gonna cheat, I worry that he‘ll end up doing with scum like types like yourself and there‘s no need to be bringing babies into the lives of people who are making such horribly irresponsible decisions!

3. I could go on and on and on....but I won‘t, I think you get my point.

4. My best advice to you...GROW UP

P.S. Ladies....this woman answered my question regarding why so many of you are so grumpy/nasty/harsh....I get it now! LIKE WTF

Send everything to her as anonymously as you can, DO NOT speak with this man any more on a personal level and just stay uninvolved with the whole situatioin.

Once you‘ve sent her the info...she need not know you and you need not face her.

I believe you‘re doing the right thing too if you just tell him to piss off and stay out of it otherwise, however, there‘s no great deed in that....be strong, you‘ll figure it out!

Ok, so here‘s the deal.

I have his passwords for EVERYTHING, every account that I‘m aware that he has...which is fairly easy considering all his registration emails, passwords etc get sent to his main email account!

So the other day, I‘m looking through his messages and notice a registration confirmation for some dating website....one I think that is also used for social networking utility as well, either way...dating website WTF!!! Ok, so the email is the link to activate the account. Hmmm...the email has been opened...did he activate....I check it out to discover he had NOT activated the account yet, so I did...men are stupid about these things, I‘m sure he‘d overlook the situation.

Ok so no biggie, his profile that he created says "looking to meet new friends", there‘s nothing in his relationship box though which is disturbing **if he‘s only looking to meet "new friends" then why not list himself as in a relationship? I don‘t get it! But anway.....

While watching his emails over the next few days and his other accounts, it appears as though he‘s not responding to any of the emails he‘s getting on that site...not that there‘s been many, but he‘s just deleting everything. He has no outgoing messages or replies in the dating account‘s messaging boxes either.

Ok, SO THEN...this is what is  really bothering me. I was in his email last night and he had a email stating he had received a message from someone on the facebook, well...the message is NOT there...and over the last week, there‘s been very little messaging going on through FB...so why did he delete it? Then......there‘s an email that he left between him and his cousin where he‘s states "the girlfriend is awesome, couldn‘t have found better".....and as much as I want to believe that he really meant that...I‘m wondering if he knows I‘ve been into his accounts and so he‘s deleting messages that he doesn‘t want me to see and just keeping his mouth shut about the whole thing so that when he does tell me that he knows he can be like "ya well I don‘t care cuz i have nothing to hide"

MEANWHILE.....he obviously does.

And you know what this brilliant one just figured out...if you delete a message in FB and then go to your email notification of that message, click on the link and then sign in....the message comes back with the option to show deleted message....and she says at 6:32pm "hey u...sorry wasn‘t home earlier"....so WTF does that mean...he called her earlier...he tried to hook up with her earlier....he arrived at my house around 5:45 and would have left work at 5pm.....THIS IS GETTIN‘ MESSED....but I will sit silently, patiently waiting for more solid evidence to make sure I‘m not jumping to conclusions!

Oh and I printed that email she sent him, before it‘s gone forever!

The investigation continues.

Oh a couple things I forgot to mention that I was thinking about.

1. If he knows that I‘m into everything....did he say that to his cousin just to have it there for me to read?

2. I have this woman‘s phone number, email address and online addy‘s....what should I do? I know what I‘d like to do.

3. From an objective standpoint...what does everyone think.

LOL...that‘s what I was just saying to my co-worker/#1 confidant as well.....she says "why don‘t you just ask him" and my thoughts are just that...I‘m not blowing myself out of the water and loosing the opportunity to keep watching when I have no solid evidence yet.

I will wait

I will watch

and if I find out something is going on

all hell will break loose, the shit will hit the fan and I will make him look like the biggest fool EVER!

"and keep talking those messed up rhymes, could you walk and talk at the same time and it‘s my name that‘s on the jag so come move your bags let me call you a cab" IRREPLACEABLE - Beyonce

I HOPE I AM WRONG

My GUT TELLS ME "BE CAREFUL"

Oh my...what I wouldn‘t give to have that opportunity if I were in your shoes. I don‘t press on anyone to be this way, even though I am....but I‘d take that situation and use it to show everyone in their office that I‘m not the fool....they are! It would be subtle though.

In fact, I‘d walk in the room with him, say my hellos and all and then when there was a free moment, I‘d say "ok hunny, I‘m going to get aquainted with ?????(bitchface)....and I‘d walk right up to her, smile, put my hand out to shake hers and say "Great to finally meet you, I‘m so glad to get this opportunity, you‘ve become such a popular topic in our household, maybe we could have you over for dinner sometime soon and let you in on why!"...and then I‘d keep smiling and walk away.....not only will she be standing there stunned, but you will show everyone in that room that you‘re no fool, you know, and you don‘t care what everyone else thinks anyhow...you don‘t stoop down to the level of violence (though I‘m sure that would satisfactory too) and you‘re in no way harrassing her or causing conflict, but merely being a HUGE SMARTASS making a statement that has an underlying "F**k you...who‘s the fool NOW BITCH"....

CAUTION

"Again folks, the stunts mentioned here today are intended to be performed by professionals only and should not be tested anytime, anywhere by anyone for your safety and the safety of the bitch that started this bulshit in the first place"

Ya...what she said...and her and the other her around here...I agree with it all.

My question: How the hell do you know this is even your child? ROFL....this other woman you were screwing...maybe you should take off your rose coloured glasses and see that if she‘s willing to participate in an affair with a married man...she‘s willing to do just about anything that lacks moral.....men are stupid aren‘t they?

Not saying it‘s not your kid....but you really need not be so vulnerable.

How big of a dumbass could a person be?

And really....was the whole affair all about physical attraction and desire? What else are you lying about?

I will never understand any justification for cheating other than "I tripped and landed on his dick"....now that there is some good justification!

I hope that I didn‘t make it seem like I was implying that the wife was the one to blame for the hubby‘s porn problem. NOT MY INTENTION at all.

In fact, let me make myself really clear.

I read a lot of lack of self confidence in the first post in this thread, more so than the porn addiction issue, which is why I focused my answer on that aspect of the situation.

There is no blame on the wife by any means for any of her hubby‘s issues....IT IS NOT HER FAULT, SHE DID NOTHING WRONG!

The hubby is in the wrong for what he‘s doing and the wife‘s concerns are legit.

ALL IN ALL....as hard as it is to focus on ones self while they believe they are being deceived and possibly cheated on....we all need to work on our own self esteem every day...woman face huge hurdles in this department, and no matter what our men are doing (or not doing)...we have to face these issues no matter what.

I really hope that it‘s clear that I‘m not blaming the wife for her hubby‘s actions, cuz I‘m not.

The biggest of all the issues for this woman should be her children and how all these circumstances are affecting them...the porn, the eating disorder, the lack of trust, the deciet on their father‘s part, the addictions (both porn and possibly food)....we as parents have to try our best to be the best we can possibly be so that our children can learn from that.

I‘m not perfect either and there are many things that I do that are not great examples for my child either...so don‘t get me wrong...I‘m not just preaching to someone else, but reminding myself at the same time.

Well for everyone‘s information....I will not be sleeping with anyone‘s bf or hubby at any time in my life.

I learned my lesson in my younger days...when I was like 13 I had a crush on this guy who had a gf and who I ended up kissing. Even though we were all very young, I learned how guilty I felt for doing that to her. I ended up going to her and telling her cuz I felt so bad. A friendship blossomed out of the deal, which was great, but the guilt I felt will always haunt me and be the reason I would never fall prey if I were to ever feel tempted to be with a taken man.

And I don‘t blame anyone for their hostility, I would just rather it not be directed at me until someone finds reason to do so!

But, I‘ve also felt warmth around here since I made this post...so I‘m not too worried anymore.

That‘s funny!

This is what was said to me here on the forum

"This forum has had it‘s fair share of whores and trolls taking over the boards lately, and unfortunately, the newbies will pay for it.  Too bad, get used to it."

Unfortunately, those guys who are wondering if they said something wrong to the girl with the fake profile who never emailed them back...well, sadly, they too get to pay for all thsoe men out there who can‘t be trusted because way too many men have screwed us woman over.

Call it selfish if you will...but it‘s quite selfish to be looking for another companion online when you are already so-called committed to someone. There‘s no fairness in that. And most woman who suspect, aren‘t the stats like 85% are right? Which means only 15% of the woman who wrongfully suspect, how many of them are actually selfishly creating fake profiles that are misleading innocent men? I bet about 1%!!!! Everyone with a profile, fake or not, are there for SELF SATISFACTION of some sort...who gives a shit. Some men will write a romance book type profile and all they are looking for is a one night stand, a impulsive blow job or some ego boosting....and you don‘t think their profile isn‘t "selfish"? How many profiles are true, authentic, genuine outlines of what that person is really all about? Probably 2%! And to boot.....how many people in this world are able to have personal insight and write about it honestly? Not many. We as human spend more time focusing on our negative traits in life, then when we go to a dating site we have to self reflect positively...which in my opinion is why many men have a profile that is 2 sentences long...they are usually uncapable of self reflection!

Some people wreck it for others! That‘s just life....TOO BAD, GET USED TO IT! I am!