I'm depressed now.  Although that is certainly a significant step in the field of science, I fail to identify with the idea of getting rid of every man on earth.  Sure, the overwhelming majority of men deserve it, but then again, it's not like a whole lot of women are pure-of-mind either.  Hahaha, I just thought of something.  Some of us like to say that love would make the world go 'round.

Bullshit.

As far as the 1-minute thing goes, Dump him if he is unwilling to put in a little more effort to please you.  That's about all I can say on that.

As far as the other thing goes, I can help you out a bit, hehe.  I'll have to speak technically about it, since that's how I learned it.  No vulgarity from me.  Anyway, there are 3 parts to penile structure, body, base, and tip.  The base and body are separated by a ring of darker colored skin.  This is the ideal place for stroking, whether it be by hand or by mouth.  Speed means A LOT.  Just like with women, going slowly the whole time won't do it.  Slowly at first is fine, but later on, speed is essential.  Pressure means a lot too.  Be sure to have his penis feel the tissue inside your mouth, and roughly at that.  If at all possible, refrain from using your teeth.  It isn't very comfortable.

I suppose that those are the basics when it comes to giving head.  For anybody who may consider me to be some "ass" or "pig" because of showing the best ways to do such, I apologize however I might've offended you.  It's what she asked for, and I happen to know what stuff I like.

Dammit, for some reason I want some egg nog...

This guy seems pretty slick if he is able to lie for that long and not get caught until he was able to bail.  I've always hated people like that.

But yeah, you should contact this Jamie ASAP, 'cause if he's willing to ditch you, he's willing to ditch anybody.

I also agree with what dewdrops said about the STD's.  I just keep thinking that if he's gonna do stuff like that, then he's probably contracted a virus or two.  Get tested for the diseases, 'cause guys almost exclusively get sores like that if they have a disease, or they don't wash up.

My ex is pissed at me for some reason.  In order to make sense of this post, I'll have to say a few things to describe her.  She's one of those people who believes that love makes the world go 'round.  She is commonly involved in Pagan ritual, or at least interested in it.  She has a subtle contempt for any monotheistic religion.  She (oh how I hate this) likes to play-hit people with different items, such as granola or perhaps a stuffed animal, then describes them with some pseudo-dramatic title such as "the evil teddy bear of doom" and the like.  She seems to have a hatred or perhaps a fear of any sexual intimacy (the farthest she is willing to go is a closed-mouth peck on the lips).  No, I have never pressured her for sex.  Anyway, this is a bit of a way to describe her.

After we broke up in November, I grew extremely bitter toward her, not for ditching me, but for the overwhelming self-obsession that she displayed in our relationship.  When were were together, most people meet halfway.  She wouldn't move 1/10th of the way, and I was willing to change the very person I am to please her.  I was willing to move all the way.  I drew the line at dismissing my religious beliefs though, and she soon after broke up with me.  That's why I was bitter.

Anyway, during IM in February, we were talking and she said abruptly, "Fear my chibi power level".  This phrase was unprovoked and completely irrelevant to anything we had discussed earlier.  "I was already irritated by things such as this, so I replied, "I don't care about your chibi power level".  She put down that smiley that rolls its eyes, then I said I wasn't going to take it back, because it's true.  After that, everything I said would be followed with "that's nice" and it soon became apparent that she was doing it deliberately and maliciously.  I told her, "have fun with your repetition.  It'll be all you ever have", then I blocked her.  I wasn't mad at her, but I realized that I can't be friends with a girl who always thinks she's right.  She blocked me soon after.  I'm not gonna explain it in this post, but I am right about the repetition being all she'll ever have.  If anybody brings it up I can explain it more.

Several months have passed, and now that we have the same friends, we can't exactly avoid one another.  Well, we do to the best of our ability, anyway.  I was told by one of our friends that she is accusing me of spreading rumors about her, calling her racist (I'm 1/2 black, she's white).  I strongly deny such a rumor.  I believe I know where the rumor came from.  A friend of mine, but enemy of her, came up with it when I was telling him about how I'm uncertain about prejudices in this rural community, particularly around her parents.  He turned this into a rumor, but now my ex is blaming me for it.

I haven't told her about the truth behind the rumor yet, nor have any of our friends, but I'm not sure if it would matter.  She walks away if I'm within 7 feet of her.  It's just that I hate ignorance, and I hate it when people judge others simply because of hearsay.  She's never talked to me about this, but rather, is judging me because of a rumor that got started from someone who she could understand having a rumor come from.

I know we'll never be able to be friends again, but I want the hate to go away.  I want to have an indifferent relationship.  I'm not angry anymore either, and haven't been for a long time.  This is her senior year in school, so she'll be leaving for college soon.  Should I just let our mutually first relationship die in hatred?  I want to make things right, but should I even bother?

Um, I'd be a bit suspicious, but is he leaving the house with you, or is he leaving on his own?  I sometimes carry it on me in the event that my gf and I get to do something in a public place, hehe....but if you two never do anything, then yeah, it'd be good reason to be suspicious.

Even if he is using them with you, I suggest that he not keep them in his pocket.  Body heat kills latex, and condoms will break.

Things are getting worse.  I don't think I can avoid her without avoiding my friends as well.  I'm wondering now.  I guess I can either keep her around as well as my friends, or I can leave all.  I'm considering the latter, since I can deal with being alone, but I dunno.  I'll post later, since my sinuses are flipping out and I'm tired.  Anybody got advice for what I should do?

Oh, and don't ask me to "discuss" things with my friends, because that won't work.  It just won't.  I refuse to make my friends decide between us.

Why is it that in divorces, the mother gets the children 90% of the time?  Mothers in general are the same as fathers are when it comes to quality of child-care.

I've been told that the reason is that mothers gave birth to the children, so she has more of a right to keep them.  It makes enough sense, but does that mean that all fathers are merely walking wallets?  It is that kind of attitude that is making guys like me consider giving up on love.

I believe that it's because women and men still aren't equal, and I don't think some women want to be equal.  There is no equality, and I don't think there ever will be.

Just out of curiosity, is anybody here a feminist?  I'm.......not to terribly fond of feminists, but I'd like to know a perspective of one.

This world is so full of myth and unrealistic expectation.  This country will stop at nothing to emotionally mutilate its citizens' sexuality.  Soon, because of the power trip the US has, it'll spread throughout the world as well.  ~sigh~  I hate this planet.

About 13 years ago, my parents split up, and through a heavy legal process, my mother managed to win custody of me.  I was 3 at the time.  Soon after, my mother got a new boyfriend, who was quite a bit of an abuser, both physically and verbally, but for some reason the woman kept him.  They got involved with drugs and alcohol, all the while I'm sitting there thinking that this is normal.

Until I was 8, this was the schedule.  My mother was so neglectful that neither her nor any of her boyfriends ever taught me how to play football.  Now here I am, 16, and only recently learned what people meant when they said "first down".  At 8, my dad finally managed to get custody of me.  I would visit my mother every other weekend, like most children do in that kind of scenario.  Almost everytime I went over, I was showered in candy and such so that I wouldn't give much mind to the clouds of several different types of smoke in the air.  My mother wouldn't allow my dad to see me, seeing as how she called the police everytime he showed up, even when it was his weekend to see me.  The beatings continued until I was 11 or so.

This is just a vague description of what I can remember.  I've blocked out most of my childhood, all because of a mother who used her femininity to manipulate the judicial system.  I don't trust much at all anymore.

I have many siblings, all of whom are half.  When I moved in with my dad, he had a girlfriend who, was very similar to your ex-husband, only she had a severe drug addiction and was unwilling to stop.  I don't believe that she ever had a job, except for once, but she quit the first day.  Fortunately my dad left her several years ago.  I'm not certain where she is right now, but I do know that she has had 9 kids, all with different fathers, and all whom she left into the custody of someone else. 

These are the reasons why it bothers me so much, (well not all of them) and I certainly do hope that those statistics aren't true anymore. 

Um....you just might wanna maybe break up with him.  If he lies about you, then he's probably ashamed of you.  If he's ashamed of you, then he probably doesn't respect you.  If he doesn't respect you, what the hell are you doing with him?!

I agree with "upstanding" with the reply you should tell people.  It's "platonic", however, not "plutonic".

Maybe I'm just not noticing something, but it looks like she replied to her own post.  Just kinda weird, I thought.

If this is a real story, and you want to make money, why don't you just sell pornography?  No STD's are contracted....maybe, and lots of money comes in that way.  Now, I don't care for it that much, but money is power.  I guess it all just depends on whether the two of you are comfortable with it or not.

I would've put this in one of the other categories, but it just didn't seem to fit.

I posted this because I really think it needs to be discussed.  What is it that somehow makes a woman qualify as a "bitch"?  Is it the fact that the modern woman is able to make her own decisions and act independently?  Is it from the resentment men may feel from having a female superior?  Does the context come from some subtle belief that women aren't to speak until spoken to?  Or....is it from the belief that women are more emotionally oppressive than men are?  I'm aware that there may be many different responses to these questions from both genders.  Here is an article I found.  It was taken from an anti-feminist point of view, and although I am anti-feminist, I am not the author.  Enjoy.

Women today have fallen in love with THE BITCH. Desperately in search of a model of female power after having it drilled into their heads for so long that they have none, women have seized upon THE BITCH as their savior, their salvation, and the answer to all which troubles them. And THE BITCH is indeed powerful. Few men are centered enough, secure enough in their own power, and calm enough to not cringe in fear when THE BITCH strikes.

The problem lies in the fact that women have become so addicted to the power of THE BITCH that they have lost the ability to tell the difference between her and THE CRAZY BITCH or THE VICIOUS BITCH or THE LYING BITCH. These faces of the dark feminine give women license to vent their most destructive tendencies and become as emotionally violent as they wish and still have the refuge of an excuse for their destructiveness.

There is a popular T-shirt, poster, coffee-mug theme that is often seen these days:
"Caution! I go from 0 to BITCH in 2.0 seconds. AND the bitch switch sticks".

This is both a threat of, and an invitation to, violence. An attack is an attack whether it it verbal or physical. What makes THE BITCH so reprehensible is that the violence is only effective when it exploits an emotional bond and thus is a violation of the most basic requirement for a relationship: trust. THE BITCH'S power is greatest against those who care about her and care what she thinks of them. Everyone else can simply shrug it off and go - "CRAZY BITCH". Only those who she betrays are really affected.

Imagine the reaction of women to that same saying changed only slightly, retaining the full meaning and violent intent:
"Caution! I go from 0 to FIST in 2.0 seconds. AND the fist is a repeater."

My advice to men: When you see that a woman is in love with THE BITCH, realize that you are late for the door and put as much distance between you and THE CRAZY BITCH as possible.

My advice to women: Before you reach for the emotional meat cleaver, give a moment of thought to how you would like to be treated by someone who may have a legitimate reason to be angry with you. Wield THE BITCH with exactly the same fervor or restraint that you would expect a man to wield THE FIST.

My personal view is that a woman is only a bitch when she is trying to abuse someone, for any reason.  This is most commonly emotional, like the guy says, but it can be physical too.

Personally, I believe that the guy speaks a lot of truth.  I'm never physically violent unless I absolutely have to be, but I'm never verbally violent either.  I'm hoping that both men and women will read this post, because clarification is necessary.

I wish I knew how change the size of this text, 'cause it just looks stupid, changing suddenly like that.

It's done more than start a mere "battle of the sexes", although I wouldn't mind fighting in one.  I like to argue. 

I don't mean to be offensive when I say this, but I do agree that men are nothing without women.  I also think that the opposite is true.  Women are nothing without men.  The two complement one another.  I suppose we could make it to where one gender could be something without the other, but is that what we want the future to be?  Attempting to fight and dominate one or another sex will only add to the bitterness that the feminazi/mascunazi already has.  I'm willing to accept who I am. 

I wonder if it'll be considered a mid-life crisis when I finally decide to get my hair cut (I have foot-long dreads).

I'm assuming that by "celibacy", you're referring to holding back sexual intimacy from men for an indefinite amount of time.  I'm curious to know what the benefit of that would be.  Perhaps you could get your way by putting a price on sexuality?  Of course you could.  I think, though, that it is attitudes like that that contribute to the tension that make some men cheat in the first place.  I mean, let's be realistic.  If men can't get what they want from their gfs, then they'll find it elsewhere.  I think that cheating is terrible, so I'd most likely break up with someone who decided to blackmail me like that.  The only thing that should be owed for a sexual relationship is good sex in return.

Back when I was with my ex, she came over, and since I knew she liked food of the Orient, I scrambled what little oriental food there was in the house and made that for her.  (This was egg rolls and pasta, with chopsticks )  I know it wasn't much, and it certainly wasn't 4-star, but I did the best that I could, including searching for recipes, but due to import restrictions, ingredients weren't found.  The effort alone should've been enough to be considered "romantic".  She doesn't know I searched, but I did.  She ate most of what I gave her (2 egg rolls and 1 cup of pasta), but later on, due to her health-nut mother, considered it "junk-food".  I really tried, and that was my first time making dinner for someone I loved, but I guess it wasn't enough.  If the main ingredient had been sugar, I wouldn't have been offended, but that hurt.  I decided to stop trying to do stuff spontaneous like that, because apparently, the effort wasn't appreciated.  Perhaps he did the same for you at once time, and maybe you shot it down.  I'm not placing blame on you, but rather I'm trying to relate my own experiences to your own.

(I'm a really good cook now though.  I made a "pizza omelet" a while ago, for my current gf.  Kickass food, it was)

I was told by her dad that she's kinda being rebellious, since she just turned 18 and all, with stuff like staying out late and not calling.  I think she missed school a time or two too.  Dunno if it was missed or deliberately skipping yet though. 

I sure hope her parents don't try to blame me for that.

I'm well aware of that as a possibility, but I'm trying to be optimistic.  Optimism has never been my nature, but I said that I'm not gonna give up.  Unless I actually catch her cheating on me, or she breaks up with me, or I catch a disease from her or something, I'm not gonna give up. 

She has been cheated on many times in her life, so I don't think she'd do the same to me.  Although I have no proof of anything, I'm still a little pessimistic about her.  I'll see how she acts when I talk to her again.  Until I can be sure again, I don't think I'm going to do much of anything sexual.

I can tell that my faith in her is starting to wear.  I do have my reasons though.  The sudden lowered libido from her, the sudden need to leave for something, being gone for an indefinite amount of time (yes, she's done that to me too) without even telling me when she'd be home or what was going at on at all, the sudden need to act out, they contribute to my fears, so I don't think I'm being irrational.

For quite some time, I've decided that if this relationship doesn't work out, I'm going to get myself castrated.  I think that'd be a great thing for me.  I'd never have to feel anything for anybody.  That way, I can finally move to the cold wilderness where I wanted to be from the beginning.  Half of me wants life alone; the other half doesn't.  I guess I'll let this relationship decide.

I managed to get to see her today, and she's finally ungrounded, as I predicted.  It's nice being able to see her again, and with the enthusiasm she showed in seeing me, I don't really think she was doing anything bad.  I'm still uncertain what she got grounded for, specifically, since I didn't get to talk to her that much (she was getting on the school bus when I saw her).  I'm just glad I finally got to see her again.

I'll get her come here when I talk to her again.

I'd agree with "steven" if the man weren't your husband.  To dump him would also mean divorcing him, and that costs money.  You loved the man enough to marry him, so it'd be nice if you loved him enough to forgive, just this once.

However, I am in no way condoning what he seems to have been doing.  If he keeps this shit up, then you have every reason to leave him.

"Don't try to teach a pig to sing.  It wastes your time, and it ANNOYS the pig."

This has been on my mind for a long, long time.  I believe that it will offend a few people.  I hesitate to post what I'm about to for fear of being verbally gang-raped by those of us who can only see one side of a coin.  Nevertheless, I am going to post this.  I just hope that somebody will be able to understand where I am coming from.  I've taken some ideas from the text of people who have inspired me.

Women laugh at men when statistics show how often we think about sex per hour.  I bet we'd get an even bigger laugh if anybody ever did a search on often women think about being sexy. 

Why is it that some women claim that they aren't dressing up to impress men, but to impress other women?  Am I really supposed to believe that a heterosexual woman's idea of being appealing has nothing to do with the gender that she would be appealing to?  Must be a lot of lesbian hookers around.  Am I supposed to believe that women get breast implants to impress other women too?  I guess I just don't understand how a hetero could want to be appealing, if she doesn't that kind of attention.

Everyday, I see advertisements and public announcements implying that men should be more "romantic" than they are.  I almost actually hate romance.  Romance was created in biblical times to provide excitement to the monotony of the commoner's life.  That seems to be the same thing nowadays.  However, there seem to be people out there who are unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, and expect men to be the wealthy and powerful rogues from the novels.   The deluded people expect the perfect man, who never pushes her beyond what she wants, but always beyond what she says.  Does 'no means no' really work?  These people have spread their self-obsessive ways of thinking into nearly every woman today, getting women to demand that men meet some pointless need that didn't exist until the feminazi community intervened.  A few women have even gotten to the point where they expect EVERY man to be "romantic", not just a bf/lover/spouse.  I know one. 

Prior to the creation of such a phenomenon, sex was considered dirty, not because it was, but because it produced children that couldn't be cared for.  People had to redefine the purpose of sex in order to promote efficiency in the community.  Today, we have technology available, providing birth control that was once not available.  For some reason, however, we decided to keep the belief that sex was dirty and inherently evil.  Yet, the drive lived on.  There must've been a way to relieve the drive and still delude ourselves into being "pure".  That's when sex was introduced to 'romance', stripping sex of the evil, dirty, immoral, natural but somehow unnatural, human, God-given, taint that it was. 

Romance has reached a level almost unimaginably difficult to conceive.  Most women in today's world not only expect men to perform and spend hard-earned money, but demand it.  My proof is Valentine's Day.  This most unholy day (modern context, not original) forces men to dump meaningless and uninspired gifts on their partners, who quite commonly don't feel even slightly obliged to give something in return.  This holiday ruined its once romantic profile when the feminazi community demanded that gifts be given on this day.  These gifts, therefore, are uninspired and completely lack any spontaneity.  WHERE'S THE ROMANCE IN THAT?!?!  I'm quitting this horrible day, and fortunately, my girlfriend is open-minded enough to agree. 

Modern romance is the worst problem to terrorize this world since the Bubonic Plague.

The paragraph you quoted me on came from a gender-equality book I read recently.

Also, the feminists don't care about what their orientation is.  It doesn't matter.  The only thing that most of 'em are looking for is power, pure and simple.  They want the ability to dominate whoever they can, and since men are so easy to target, why not go after them? 

I don't save my money for the sake of being cheap.  So far, I've spent at least 55% of my money on things that I thought would make my relationship with my gf better. 

I'm a student in a culinary school right now, and my female instructor said that exact phrase about women impressing women.  Too bad she doesn't work there anymore.  At the time I couldn't think of a way to respond to such a lie.

I plan to do some cool stuff for my girlfriend in a little while.  I'm not gonna say here, because if she comes browsing here, I don't want her to find out what the surprise is, but I think it's gonna be nice.  Yummy too, hehehe.  My mother tells me that the things I do for her are "romantic".  I said that I don't usually like to think of it that way, but yeah it is, I suppose.  'Tickled pink', she said. 

What is your attitude on sex?  The biggest reason why men find pornography so appealing isn't because of the physical features of the people, but because they actually look willing.  It gives the impression that they might actually want to have sex with him.  Are you one of those people who holds back intimacy and affection if you don't get your way?  If so, perhaps you should consider changing your policy.  If not, then if I were you, I'd look into it a bit more, like LMM said.

Well first off, before you forget, rate the guy so that his record will be known to other women out there.  I know very little about the marital legal system, but why do you need his permission to get a divorce?  I always thought it didn't have to be a mutual agreement.

Normallly, in problems like these, I would suggest marriage counseling, but he gave you chlamydia?!?!  This marriage is far beyond repair.

Since I don't know much about stuff like that, all I can suggest is that you put the guy's name in the database.  Some of the others here will be sure to offer you more good advice that I can provide.  We have lots of insightful people like that.

I don't believe that my perspective on women have ever been unfair or unrealistic.  I once loved a girl with all of my being.  Most people move halfway in relationships.  This girl wouldn't move one inch.  I loved the girl so much that I was willing to go all the way to make things work.  I drew the line at changing my religion though.  That's the only thing I would never change.  A while later, I told her that I loved her.  She dumped me soon after.  We NEVER had any remotely erotic interaction.  The closest she would ever go in physical intimacy is a close-mouthed peck on the lips.  Although this was unnatural to who I really was, I was willing to CHANGE who I am in order to make her happy.  In the event that her sex drive did, at some point, reveal itself, I had spent the previous two years perfecting sexual technique, just so that when she did come out of her shell, I could please her in ways that few men would ever dare putting the effort into.  This was NOT the television romance or such that you described steven, but rather, it was the type of relationship that I believe many women would kill for.  To be with a man who will do spontaneous acts of what is called 'romance' and NEVER get tired of it is something I believe that a woman would fight to have.  This girl just wanted to take everything and give nothing.  My perspective cannot be biased.

Any person who has ever felt real love will say that love can only be experienced when you give it.  One doesn't feel love by having love dumped on them.  They feel it by giving it away. 

Feminism is the ultimate hyprocrisy.  It is an alleged movement for gender equality, but it has a gender in its own name.  I have learned that one cannot believe that somebody is somebody, simply because that's who they say they are.  One has to learn about more underlying motives in order to understand the true nature of that person.  The same thing goes with feminism.  If they are a movement for equality, why do they focus on nothing but female issues?  Why is it that nobody ever wants to discuss the men who are beaten and abused by their wives, not just physically, but emotionally?  Why is it that nobody even remotely ENCOURAGES men to speak out against the abuse they endure?  Why is it that women, when they want to vent their more destructive tendences, are allowed to do so and without negative consequence simply because they are able to hide behind the somehow glorious title of "bitch"?  Why is it that non-custodial mothers only pay 48% of child support when non-custodial fathers must pay 60%?  Why is it that a women has the choice to not be a mother for a mere nine months, instead of just going through the pregnancy and giving the child to the father, who just might want the kid?  Why is it that women don't have to endure nine months, but men have to endure 18 years?  It's simply because the feminist community isn't AT ALL concerned with the well-being of everybody, just women.  It's because gender-equality isn't what they are shooting for.  Their goal is power and domination over the male half of the species.  Men no longer comment on the appeal that some women show simply because society conditioned them that way.  I would never say that a girl was attractive if I knew that if I did, there was a high chance that she'd sue me for 'sexual harassment'.

I call them feminazis because that is exactly what they're beginning to suggest.  I call them feminazis because some women could actually SUPPORT reducing men to ten percent of the current population, and using the rest as breeding stock.  I call them feminazis because as if the breeding comment weren't bad enough, some women not only condone, but SUPPORT using genetic engineering to eliminate ALL men from the planet, and create a world with only one gender. 

This is the beginning of a revolution, steven, and I have no intention of sitting back and letting myself be destroyed from the inside, then carelessly thrown away.  I know that I am worth something.  I know that my sexuality is just as valuable as any woman's out there.  I am not going to let the feminazi put a price tag on me and I am not going to let ANY woman out there imply that I am merely a walking wallet.  I am going to stand up for who I am and take back my value.  The sooner you do the same, the sooner you will regain the self-esteem you never thought you could have.

Huh, I feel better now...

Premises:  Things are once again, at a low.  My gf lives with her best friend; they'll spend a lot of time together.  Her friend is in love with a man in NC.  He claims to love her too, but the thing is, he's married.  He says he's going to get a divorce if she'll move to NC with him.  We all live in IN.  Nobody except my gf's friend has much faith in the stability of this relationship, so my gf has decided that if her friend moves, so is she, for emotional support if something bad does happen.  If any moving occurs, it'll be in a few months.  My gf wants to break up with me right now so that it won't hurt as much, compared to if we were to break up later on.

Analyses:  My gf has been avoiding me lately, it seems.  She is never online anymore, under the claim that she is too tired (even though she's not too tired to go out all the time)  Even when I get ahold of her via the phone, she doesn't say much.  She mentions how she feels like she's using me, since she won't be here much longer.  I say not to worry about that coming, and just savor what little time we have left together. 

Conclusions:  Anticipate a breakup with friend and man from NC.  Learn the truth behind why gf is so "tired".  I realize how weak and needy I have become, and have severed nearly every tie I have.  Gf is the exception.  Don't want to be alone, but I might have to be.  Suicide flickers about my mind occasionally (DON'T lecture me about this; now is not the time). 

On the plus side, I have new weaponry and fireworks.

......I will never put faith in feminism as long as they only have the feminine interest in mind.

The majority of my points come from a book called, If men have all the power, how come women make the rules?  It may be found at http://www.rulymob.com .  The statistics and points that I make, including the child support stat, come from reputable sources mentioned in this book.  It is available in PDF format, for free.

This may come as a shock to a few people, but I am very young.  I know what the youth act and think like, and it is nothing like the open-minded comments I have heard recently.  Here is a very recent experience I had at school.  In a kitchen (I'm taking Culinary Arts) that I was at, during break, a few people got a little happy with snapping towels.  A girl snapped me in the leg with a towel, and it hurt a little bit.  I snapped her back, but unfortunately, well, I didn't know I was that good at it.  It left a distinctive mark.  I apologized, claiming that I didn't intend to snap that hard, but I did intend to snap it.  She didn't hold anything against me.  Another girl came up, though, and kept telling me that I am never supposed to retaliate against a girl, no matter what she does.  "Women aren't special," I replied.  "They will get no special treatment from me."  She insists that I was in the wrong.  My point is that although a select few who managed to find this site are open-minded, you are distinctly in the minority.  It will not last this way.  I am young, so I can tell what the youth will be like.  Another girl, a month or two earlier, flatly said that women are the superior sex, and she hopes she has all female children.  Amazingly, she actually had a boyfriend who would tolerate that....for the time being.  It'd be nice if the world were idealistic, but even at my age, I'm aware that few in this world actually would care.  I may sound irrational, or perhaps even rude, but I prefer to look at the big picture.

(I hope nobody decides to use that whole age=experience crap on me.  It doesn't matter how experienced a person is if s/he keeps making the same mistakes.

It seems the others got my point out already, and yes, you are the one who is gonna get 'fd'.

I have had the feelings that I have all along.  My grief has always been here, but I never knew how to put it into words, since, as you said, I have little experience.  Because of this, I speak through the experiences of others.  There is a man in Geocities, named 'zenpriest', who has very interesting philosophy when it comes to things like this.  He most certainly has the experience to credit himself with.  I do feel a little sorry for the guy though, since so much shit has happened to him during his life, he'll never be able to love another woman again...

Oh, and for specification, I just turned 17 a week or so ago.

Little story, I'll try to make it short.

I was with my ex about 7 months ago, before I met the girl I'm with now.  She broke up with me because I told her I loved her.  (Never once suggested sex; this was the real thing)  This was after a few months of being together.  We made a weak effort at staying friends, but that didn't work out.  Thing is, we were both part of a circle of friends who were all interested in fantasy and art.  Although I'm a good artist, she's a bit better.  Everytime I'd show up in the group, she'd walk out of it.  This apparently caused a bit of tension in the whole thing.  I decided that I would leave my group of friends, so that they wouldn't have to decide between me and her.  I gave up a lot so that their conscience wouldnt' be harassed.  They and a few others were the only friends I had.

Now, my gf is leaving me too.  I'm in an extremely rural community (even though I have dreads), and there isn't any real way for me to get into any activities that may take my mind off of it.  You never actually met your 'friend'.  I have slept with my gf, many a time.  We lost our virginity to one another.  She rated me twice in this database, once giving me a score of 90, and the second time, at 102.  A lot of factors were against me though, since at my age they don't really apply.

I guess my point is, I thought I was ready to be alone, but I'm not.  I don't know if I could handle her leaving me.  Once she goes, I won't have anybody left to talk to, or to have fun around, or have beside me on a rainy day.  This isn't like some of the other posts where people can't get over others.  I have nowhere to turn.

I bet that would be irritating.  I guess if you wanted to be able to prove it, you could take a picture of him.  Maybe if you wanted to get back at him, put naked pics of him in a filesharing directory?

Malice is fun sometimes.

...........

I found something that reminds me of how I feel a little bit.  I don't know if anybody out there is interested in anime at all, but if so, and you have a filesharing program or if you can afford to buy the disc, get "blue", in the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack.  Slow tempo, cold melody, my kind of genre.

Blue

Never seen a bluer sky / I can feel it reaching out and moving closer / there's something about blue / asked myself what it's all for / and you know the funny thing about it / I couldn't answer / no I couldn't answer / things have turned a deeper shade of blue / and images that might be real may be illusion / keep flashing off and on

free / want to be free / going to be free / and move among the stars / you know they really aren't so far / feels so free / got to know free / please / don't wake me from the dream / it's really everything it seemed / I'm so free / no black and white in the blue

everything is clearer now / life is just a dream, you know / that's never ending / I'm ascending

"Bitch" is a nice title to hide behind when being abusive.

She doesn't believe that the relationship will last, and if her friend does get dumped, she wants to be there for her, since if she isn't, there will be nobody to stop her friend from killing herself.  This is her friend's first boyfriend, so he probably means a lot to her.

I hate that stupid quote too.  Whoever said that apparently never loved and lost.  "tis better to let a guy spend another 50 years in a coma that he can't recover from than making it so that he was never in that accident in the first place..."

Here are a few...

"The nicer a person is, the farther s/he is away from you."

"The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them."

"The best things in life are free, and worth every penny of it."

"There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love."

"Love is the delusion that one person will differ from another."

"The duration of a relationship is inversely proportional to the importance of the person to you." (hmm, maybe that's why my gfs were only with me a few months...)

"Love obscures common sense."

"A love will tell you they love you endlessly.  A true love will tell everyone else they love you endlessly, despite the embarassment factor."

"If it seems perfect today, tomorrow it will end."

"If you love a person, let them go.  If they don't come back, they weren't worth it."

"Being told that someone doesn't want to date you because you're too good of a friend is like saying that you don't get the job because you're overqualified."

"You don't fall in love; you fall in a hole.  The depth of the hole is proportional to how oblivious you were of the fall."

123, hehe...

I've been wondering what I'm going to do to relieve sexual tension though.  Shit, right now, I don't think I'm capable of loving anybody, or even faking loving anybody.  I don't really know how to phrase it without sounding like an 'asshole'.  I can't even think straight right now.  I'll just end this post for now.  Before I go though, what would someone suggest as far as relief goes.  Do not suggest suppressing it, because it isn't going to happen.

My gf and I decided that since we both like sex so much, we will keep our relationship at the level it is, but we won't further the relationship anymore.  Maybe I actually found relief...

Right now, I'm under the impression that 'marilyn' the the one formerly known as 'dewdrops'.  Given that, that's the same guy who was all stingy and didn't last very long in bed isn't he?

I'm not trying to offend anybody or anything, but I guess I'd be insecure too if I had as many faults as you mentioned about this guy...

Diary... I think a serious talk with him is long overdue.  You seem to have a few problems with the guy, including this one, and well, any guy who is insecure enough to read his gf's diary usually feels he has a reason to.  Apparently there's a lack of communication and questions aren't being answered, if sneaking into a diary is what it has boiled down to.

The forum isn't incredibly active, but you can definitely expect a reasonable question to get answered within a week.  We're always looking for new people, and you can post any assholes you may encounter in the guy database.  I think I speak for everybody here when I say that this isn't a site for bashing men, but a place to vent and get productive advice.  The best thing you can do here is be open-minded, because being unrealistic in your demands won't get anything accomplished.  I'm not sure what that phobia of yours is; you'll have to clarify. 

Although the title of the site suggests otherwise, I don't think the purpose of the site is to hate men.  For future reference, I'm a straight guy, and a rather decent one at that.  Not all men are evil; that's one of the bigger lessons I hope people here learn someday...

Maybe the guy is taking you for granted, if you're so willing to put out.  He's always having a place to relieve himself.  Now, normally I'm absolutely against holding back sex to do something, but I think this might be the exception.  Eventually, the guy will get sick of porno on his computer.  Believe me, using the hand gets really boring after a while.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, make him ask for it this time.

Darla wrote:

Wire wrote: My gf and I decided that since we both like sex so much, we will keep our relationship at the level it is, but we won’t further the relationship anymore.  Maybe I actually found relief... I see, sounds like a good deal (no strings attached) I just hope that you will get it as much as you want...  Don’t break the bed..lol...

Hehe, I'll try not to...

I think you know the answer to your own question, but you don't want to acknowledge it.  Eventually, people are going to get tired of trying to please others or take the initiative.  I didn't really get much detail on your post, but from personal experience, guys stopped being spontaneously nice when they realized that it wouldn't be appreciated.

Oh, and women are just as bad as men are when it comes to things like that.  I know that I'd be a little turned on if a woman were to help me do things that women are traditionally not supposed to like doing...

This is another article I found, by the same author as ’bitch’. 

Escape from the Dating Trap

Men and women today are trapped in a cycle of manipulation and counter manipulation which few of them understand. Throughout the 20th century, all reality and substance have been slowly leached out of everyone's lives and have been replaced by addiction to, and narcotization by, an unfulfilling cycle of acquisition, achievement, and disappointment when that which they acquire and achieve fails to fill the emptiness inside. Then a new cycle begins to acquire more and achieve more in hopes that it will be enough, followed by a cycle of even more disappointment when it fails to be. In the process, both men and women have been stripped of their humanity and turned into objects to be acquired, then disposed of.

The devastating effects of mass media have created homogenized caricatures of men and women which do not reflect the reality of any woman or man, yet which both sexes have been subtly conditioned to expect of the other. Trapped in sets of roles and expectations of appearance, mislead about what the other sex wants and expects, completely lacking role models except the fictional characters fed to them under the disguise of "entertainment", people are leading fictional lives and choosing fictional mates. When the day comes that one or both can no longer maintain the fiction, or one either discovers or reveals the degree to which their shared fiction departs from reality, the result is emotional carnage and hate. We see more of this around us every day than we ever see of real love.

The societal pressures and demands for pairing and mating, combined with the biological pressures to do the same, are slamming men and women up against each other and have trapped both into living scripts which are fallacies and fantasies and have no relationship to real lives. These scripts have extensively defined, restrictive, and unrealistic roles and are enforced by an inflexible set of social "rules". The dating script traps people into trying to be different than they really are and expecting the other to be different than s/he really is. When the deception is finally revealed, everyone feels betrayed.

In order to escape from the dating trap, which I call the "first stop on the train to stupidville"; one must avoid being railroaded by social expectations, or deluded by wishful thinking which cannot separate fantasy from reality, long enough to understand who s/he really is and what s/he really wants and whether the other person is likely to have what you want and want what you have.

The moment two people enter into a social relationship called "dating", they become trapped into social roles which were historically adaptive, but have not changed in adaptation to a changing environment. At that point it is too late to be talking about expectations, because they have already been built. The very use of the term "date" or "dating" carries with it all the baggage of expectations that this is a "special" kind of friendship or relationship. "Specialness" is the most addictive drug known; once addicted, like any other addict, the "Specialness" addict will sacrifice all self, all integrity, and all other relationships to keep getting a "Specialness" fix.

As the "old" social roles and structures have been eroded by the changing realities of the 20th century, most notably the protector/provider roles for men and the materially-dependant/nurturer roles for women, both sexes have struggled to forge new roles out of the wreckage of the old. Neither have succeeded very well nor are faring very well. The rage and hatred which is the inevitable result of frustration and betrayal are mounting. We have reached the point of "Counting bodies in the gender war", as a woman journalist recently put it.

The white flag of surrender is not possible. The chilling suggestions that cloning makes it now possible to create a race with only one gender are among the most frightening statements ever made. Like the nuclear weapons stalemate which threatened to end the human race for much of this century, the nucleus of the cell stalemate will bring the race to the brink of total destruction.

Men and women alike must step out of the trap which keeps throwing them up against each other in the growing cycle of frustration, rage, and hate. We need a demilitarized zone where we can sit down at the peace table and negotiate a peaceful resolution to our differences. We need delegates to a peace process which neither denies the war, nor believes that it is inevitable. Once conscripts, we need to become diplomats. Once foot soldiers, we need to become negotiators. Once fools following rules which do not serve us, we need to become enlightened and realize that rule-ish is foolish: so we must create new roles which do not follow the old rules.

The cycle of blame must stop.

Most web sites I see are mostly about throwing the grenades of blame into the emotional life of the other gender. Unfortunately, most men's issues sites are devoted to throwing back the grenades that feminism has thrown at them, and a tragic number of the women's sites are devoted to throwing more grenades.

I was going to post this article in the 'inspiration for women' section, since it's a bit of inspiration, but seeing that it isn't about boosting women's ego much, I decided to post it here, where most of the ambiguous genres seem to go.

I guess this is inspiration for me.

’Where is my Prince Charming?  Why are there so many frogs?"  Man-bashing, it is.  It plagues this society and is justified by hiding under the lie that it is merely a joke.  I look around nowadays and don’t go one day without seeing something that considers men irrelevant, or stupid, or better yet, sub-human.  What is the purpose of man-bashing?  What is the point of all this hateful propaganda?  I’m sick of the lies about how men can’t ask for directions or how a man with half a brain is gifted.  I can’t stand it when I hear women talk about how men ’think with their dick’, and yet these are the same people who use their own sexuality as currency or even bribery.  No man in recorded history has ever done such a thing.  These are the same people who can somehow compare their own sexuality, the most fundamental and essential tool for survival, to a damn dog biscuit and then expect to be taken seriously!  Maybe men do ’think with their dick’, but any woman who holds back sex to get her way is nothing but a hypocritical whore, only that she’s exchanging sex for flattery, instead of money.  Women ’think with their pussy’ just as much as any man ’thinks with his dick’.   I’m not falling for that shit anymore.

There is a popular t-shirt nowadays that says something along the lines of, "Boys are stupid; throw rocks at them!", or something like that.  Sadly, this product is aimed at teenage girls.  These are the same people who I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life, unless I choose to not deal at all.  I was once optimistic about the future of western ’civil’ization, but I see no light at the end of the tunnel.  I don’t understand how women can bash men like this and still expect to be loved.  The women who love saying that men ’think with their dick’ are the same ones who can’t seem to find a date.  Somehow, married women can get away with that too.  Some husbands probably aren’t even aware of the fact that they’re being put low on importance, but that might be because it always hides behind the idea that the bashing was a joke.  Or, perhaps they know fully what is going on and realize that any reciprocity will put them in the ’doghouse’ and because of it, their self-esteem is crushed into nothing, leaving nothing but an empty and depressed void that the wife can manipulate as she wishes.  Nice work.  Score one for the feminazi.

Most people would assume that I’m merely blowing smoke or that I’m just some ’stupid, confused teen’ who doesn’t know what the hell he is talking about.  No ’stupid, confused teen’ that I have ever heard of is considering ending dating.  I don’t mean for a couple of months or years.  I’m considering ending it all.  I’m not going to deal with it anymore.  It’s kinda sad though. My current gf never did bash men like that.  She wanted to be my partner, not to be my thorn.  She’ll be leaving soon though.  When she does, I’m really going to take it into consideration.  What will I do for sex though?  Synthetic genitalia, indeed.  When I can afford it, castration will be considered.

To those of you who truly hate men for whatever a select few might’ve done, take a long look into the world and think really hard about where those ’Mr. Rights’ disappeared to.  The reason why there seem to be so many ’assholes’ out there is because the good ones were driven off by all the hate-filled propaganda.  Only the ’assholes’ are left, who never really cared about your feelings in the first place.  They can tolerate your man-bashing because they don’t give a shit.  I was considered a ’Mr. Right’ by the ’rate a guy’ quiz, according to my gf.  I’m going back into the shadows though, and I plan on living a long life alone.  I’m tired of trying to love those who hate me in return.  I’m almost certain that the other good men got sick of it as well.  You will get what you’ve been asking for, but you will realize that it wasn’t what you wanted.  Well congratulations, women.  Your hate finally paid off. 

Yes, LMM, that may be true to a point, but where did it all begin?  What was the motive behind the first man-bashing statement ever: ’A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle’?  This quote, although I cannot remember the author’s name, was created from the delusion that traditionally, men have dominated women and have always had more power than women.  Notice, that they never thought that there might be different forms of power that women were surely dominant with.  No, they were so closed-minded that they only thought of power as some sort of hierarchy or social pyramid, where most commonly, a male would be at the top.  From this, they decided that men should somehow pay for the ’crimes’ of their ancient ancestors.  In order to make men pay for these ’crimes’, women would have to somehow distinguish themselves and become ’liberated’.  Then that infamous quote was uttered, and man-bashing was born.  False premises will bring nothing but false promises.  So many women are too stubborn to realize that though, so they continue their ignorant man-bashing through some imaginary grief felt by ancestresses that never existed.  Man-bashing out of actual experienced pain is minimal indeed, compared to the man-bashing out of ignorance.

I’m not offended by the jokes themselves, but rather, the attitude that the jokes bring.  Most of the people who see these jokes think of it as a way that life should be, or that already is.  If a woman were to say that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, she’d be offended if I said that a man without a woman is like a bicycle without a fish, with none of that fishy slime to slide upon.  She would most likely get defensive, taking it very seriously, but trying to hide it under the myth that it is just a joke.  I know that jokes are meant to be taken as jokes, but most of the world just doesn’t see it that way, as ideal as it would be for them to do so.  Something is said, but always, something else is implied, whether subtle or distinct.

And by the way, this ’edit’ feature kicks ass...

...It's hard to believe that people don't understand why pornography is so appealing to some people.  Women like pornography just as much as men do, but it's hidden under the seemingly innocent title 'romance novel'.  Men have always been more visual than women; that's just how things are biologically, so naturally, men would rather look at pictures than look at text.

Here's the part that it seems like the overwhelming majority of women haven't figured out.  Society nowadays is so disconnected with its sexuality that nobody really understands it anymore.  Sex is sex.   Love is something else.  Sex has nothing to do with love, or romance, or chivalry, or any of those other bullshit illusions that people have.  It is a natural thing and is in no way relevant to any of the prior terms.  The reason why men like pornography so much is not because of the airbrushed perfection of the women, or because of how large her breasts are.  Pornographic women give the impression that they might actually like to have sex with them, without creating a ridiculously long list of items to be accomplished beforehand and once having done so, say that somebody owes her something.

The only thing that should be demanded in return for sex is good, caring sex.  Once people are able to dismiss their socially-implanted inhibitions about sex, pornography will not be needed.  A woman who knowingly but carelessly transmits diseases in sex is a slut.  A woman who has sex is not.

Ahh, video games.  Sadly, it's another socially-forced idea for men.  There are social roles that people have.  For women, this would be anything feminine, hence the term.  For men, it's a masculine thing.  It's just something that men are raised to enjoy, like football or...well, any other sport.  Video games is to men as window shopping is to women.  Think about it.

I think I have figured out the way to see if somebody is truly mature, or if it's just a front.  My theory is, maturity is determined by what a person can handle and still be content.  Some children are perceived to be immature because of their inability to tolerate such things as the other sex, hence the idea of 'cooties'.

Unfortunately for some people, this theory of mine breaks into the ambiguous world of romance(for women) and heroism(for men).  The two are nothing but indulgences in personal power and/or public confirmation of that power.  Every story in this field has those two elements in it.  From a man's perspective, the idea is to be somebody who accomplishes something great and win the heart of the princess or such because of it.  For women, this would be 'my knight in shining armor approaching on a white horse to come and carry me into the sunset'.  Now, in these two examples, did the main character even imply what the other person's benefit may be?  No, of course not.  Just an immature indulgence of fantasy, it is.

Maturity revolves around the ability to be realistic.  'Princesses', or whatever spoiled women call themselves, expect life to be carried to them on a satin pillow.  I think that probably qualifies as both immature, and unrealistic, with the latter being the cause of the prior. 

Why is it that I usually point out women's flaws in my posts?  It's because apparently, most women aren't going to be able to change men to suit their more commonly unrealistic demands, so perhaps it's time to start changing themselves a bit.  At least some sacrifice is going to have to be made, because anything worth having doesn't come easily.

Pornography is only visualizing what women would rather read in a book.  I talked to a female friend of mine yesterday and she agreed that she gets more turned on reading it than by watching it.  If pornography is really a drug, then most women in the US are in serious need of counseling, due to the 'romance' novels that are so popular nowadays.

Sadly, there are people out there who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and if actually approached by reality, distinctly prefer fantasy to any reality that might be experineced.  I really wish I knew how to fix this immature way of thinking.  I'll do more study on it later on.  Don't forget though, that pornography isn't just a guy thing.  Most 'romance' novels are pornographic too. 

I don't think pornography relieves stress.  I think the orgasm that usually comes from it does though.  Hehehe...

I've been in chatrooms trying to spread the word on this horrible place, but either nobody believes me, or they think I'm a spammer. 

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,11913,987172,00.html

This article is kinda long, so just read it when you have time.  It is impossible to take legal action against this prison, because it is in another country, but read the article, and you'll understand what I'm talking about.  This isn't inspiration for women.  This is inspiration for EVERYBODY, because all people could help.  If you want to help, maybe start a chain letter with this link on it.  Or, I could start one and forward it to anybody who is interested.  The only way to take this place down is to boycott it, but we can only do that if we spread the word.

I’ve never been that knowledgable in statistics, but it’s finally nice to see a stat that supports my belief that women in general have no place to complain about what men do.  They do bad stuff just as much, if not more, than men.  I think that reason is because they feel they can get away with it.  "Princess" syndrome, it is.

Hmm.  I’m a guy, but I’m neither white nor do I pursue women in bars.  Guess I can’t answer.

And...um, maybe it's just me, but I don't think a bar isn't a good place to look for a partner or a date or whatever more than 'friends' relationship she's looking for.

I hate to bring bad news, but I just got out of a relationship like that.  I don't think it is going to work out.  There will be no easy way to get out of this.  You will be scared; you will be torn apart inside as you learn the deeper meaning behind the phrase 'I need some space'.  You will cry, suicide will seem more appealing than ever before, you may spend entire nights without sleep.  If you're willing to endure the pain for right now though, because we are human, you will find a way to get through it.  It may work out in the end, somehow, but it'll be a long road for you to walk upon. 

For the trip, bring a companion or pet along, as well as a couple bags of Hershey's miniatures.  They always seem to pass the time.

During the majority of my childhood, my mother had a boyfriend who, besides doing drugs and such with her in front of me, was also very abusive to her, both physically and emotionally, also in front of me.  Because of the stuff I saw in my childhood, when 9-11 came along, I got pissed not because of the attacks, but because they kept taking over my favorite shows' airtime.  When that Al-Qaeda video came out with the journalist execution, I was barely bothered.  Ahh, both external and internal bleeding, broken bones, bruises the area of compact discs, lovely stuff (sarcasm).  I remember, when I was about 5, I walked into the house after an outing with my grandmother and blood was everywhere, on walls, soaked in the floor and furniture; the whole house smelled of rusty coins.  I calmly said to my grandmother, 'Oh, they must've just had another fight'.  That wasn't the case this time, but it's proof of how desensetized I became to it.

My mother broke up with him around when I was 11.  Her life is now on the right track, I think. The guy got arrested recently for being involved in the murder of some store owner.  Anybody who lives in Michiana might've heard of the name, 'Blease White'.  Yep, that's the guy.  Just got sentenced recently.  He has around 100 years to serve, for multiple charges.

Yep.  That and then some.

Harley wrote:

Better yet..try being married to a alcoholic and they don’t remember what they did and deny it and call ya a liar..fun, fun

Well those phones with the cameras are becoming more popular and affordable; perhaps he won't be able to hide behind something like that in the future.

If only women could be also caught with their vices like that...

Trust is a lot like virginity - one penetration and it is gone forever.  When a person breaks trust, they're taken out of the category that will get unreserved attention and put into a category of far less significance.  Simply put, you will never get over what the man has done.  You may feel better, but you will never fully recover from that blow, nor will you ever fully trust him again.  Even if he doesn't cheat again, do you think you'll be able to spend your life with a man who you only trust 60%?  I'm not going to suggest either staying or breaking up.  That is your choice.  I'm just setting out the way things are right now.  It is your job to see if you can live with that or not. 

In short, can you spend your life with a man who you don't trust fully?  The answer to this question will also be the answer to whether you should stay or go.

Me and my gf haven't officially broken up yet, but well this is going to be it.  I found out recently through one of her friends that although she says she loves me, she didn't.  I'm not sure if she loved me in the beginning, but that doesn't matter now.  I've made a rather long letter, and I guess I wanted to post it for some reason.  Just another way to vent, I guess.  I'm not finished with the letter just yet though.

I want to thank you for helping me prove that indeed, love does not make the world go 'round.  Through some contacts that I'll decline to mention, I learned what you never had the courage to tell me, and yes, you do know what I'm talking about.  It does bother me, though, that you'd so quickly give your virginity to somebody you never loved.  I'm not certain as to what your future love life will be, but please understand that I am not bitter.  Bitterness is for the fool who cannot understand that a good life will not be given away freely.

However, I have reached the point where I am no longer able to invest my love and time into something that is more likely than not to fail.  In my studies of the way love works in this society, I learned that the majority of women live in a magical world of fantasy, where the men will always be heroic and be able to cater to her every whim.  This was a terribly unrealistic scenario that unfortunately, some women decided that men were to live by, and would be upset if men couldn't do it.  I mean, it is impossible for a man to live up to the standards set by a figment of someone's imagination, set to be perfect in every detail.  Sadly, this is how the majority of women expect men to be nowadays.  You seem to be an exception, although I'm not certain how distinct your attitude is, compared to the others.

Very recently, I understood the other half of the story.  It was just as unrealistic for me to expect people to accept me for who I am, and not what I 'should' be.  It was unrealistic to think that, just maybe, we could've become something great together, and that with mutual cooperation and love, we would be happy together in the end.  With the unrealistic standards that love has to live by nowadays, what was once realistic is now fantasy, as well as the fantasy that, well, is still fantasy.  In the end, everybody is betrayed, and all that's left is bitterness and pain.  Of course, not all people are like that, but I'm tired of feeling and absorbing the pain that comes from a seemingly endless line of failure.  I've done nothing but absorb it all my life, and I just can't handle it anymore.

I had to face a terrible truth about myself recently.  I thought that because of the things I have been put through in my life, I had gotten stronger.  I realized though, that nobody gets stronger from enduring pain.  They only get calluses.  I'm stepping out of the game now, before my entire spirit becomes one giant scar.  There is no chance of finding that one special person if s/he doesn't exist, so there is no need to search.  Since there is no longer anybody to hold me back, castration is finally open to me, and there will no longer be any fertility, desire, emotion, or pain to put up with.

Understand, this is not a guilt-trip letter or some other letter with the purpose of making you feel a certain way.  On the contrary, I am encouraging you to not feel anything at all.  EVentually you'll understand that in this world, love just doesn't exist anymore.  You don't have to feel bad about it, or try to fill the void.  Like putting things into a box, instead of trying to fill that empty space, just get a smaller box.  I'm encouraging you to get out of the game as well, before you end your days bitter and alone, just like I would've been.  I'll be alone, but at least I won't be bitter.  There is a reason why 50% of marriages fail, and why that percent is growing.  People are realizing just how unhappy they are, but like the neanderthals that most people are, they willingly make the same mistake over and over, hoping for a different result.  Let's step out of the game now, before it's too late to save who you are.

You may be under the impression that I inherited the guy's violent behavior and attitude, but I can assure you that I didn't.  I am perhaps one of the most non-violent people that you'll ever know.  Although I think of martial arts and the like as a sport, it is only a sport, and should only be used seriously if absolutely needed.  It really takes a lot to get me offended or angry, as you might be able to tell in my breakup letter in the 'general' section.  In the letter, instead of telling her off as most guys might do to their ex, I'm trying to help her lead a more fulfilling life. 

And well, yeah I never really had much of a childhood.  Even now, at 17 years old, because of my lack of a childhood, I still don't know how to play football.  I have the perfect shape for a football player too.  Massive, powerful, but also fast and agile enough to maneuver.  My role-models in my single digit years were Sonic the hedgehog and some of the more significant characters from Mortal Kombat 2.  Not much else to confide in, really. 

I don't think I ever really was innocent.  My first sexual encounter was at age 5, when I would've lost my virginity, had I the appropriate hormones to assist some...phallic issues.  No, I was not molested.  The girl was 4, and had actually initiated, I believe.  Ah, what a strange world we live in.

I can't wait 'til the guy is old and decrepit, due to prison mistreatment.  I can just imagine the guy having to submit to 'bubba'.  Actually, I think he is 'bubba' right now...

Ahh, revenge.  Had I enough reason to justify it, I would have done some pretty mean things in the past.  I have a pretty good imagination when it comes to things like that, although I'd never actually use it.  Since you want to though, I can give you some ideas.

In the event of another encounter, offer to make dinner for him, but put a heavy dose of a ground, equine laxative in something that can be mixed, such as mashed potatoes.  Such laxatives can be found in any major pet store.  This will thrash him inside to the point of unconsciousness, but a horse laxative can be over 3x as powerful as a human one.  Be sure not to make him OD.

If you know the arrival date of his wife, be sure to subscribe him to many many pornographic and kinky items, such as maybe a few dozen butt-plugs and a dogchain, or some videos heavily involving fecalphilia.  Schedule the arrival date to be when his wife visits.

If you have a filehsaring program (I recommend Winmx), put naked pics of him into a filesharing directory and submit it to all the sex chatrooms there.  There are commonly over 200 sexual chatrooms in Winmx, so it'll spread quickly.

Simply catch his wife alone and tell her what he has been doing.

I'm tired, so this is all I feel like putting down for now.  I'd put down more of the lethal ones, such as the crushed glass in a drink, but well, I don't want to assist homocide.  Hope this helps at all.

http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/babytabl.html

I remember looking at this site a long time ago when I was searching for birth control.  It's a list of all possible types of birth control, both female and male, I believe.  I believe it talks about the patch too.  Dunno if it mentions side effects though.

"About a year ago, someone I met at a dinner invited me out on a date." ...

"This is how it went: We met at a dinner and talked to each other and then we talked to other people. I thought he seemed nice and attractive though he did not inspire that breathless, pheromone-filled instant response. (Those are usually reserved for men I discover are either happily married or homosexual.) Three days later, he called, I answered, we chatted and he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner. Just like that. I even accepted and we were on for Thursday night. This is strategically a good night since it is not burdened by the significance of a weekend or an unencumbered next day, Thursday is a sincere night without being an officially romantic one. " ...

She then went on to describe her preparations for "the date" which included lying to her 6 y/o daughter about why she was dressing up and putting on makeup to spare her daughter the "complications" of "Introducing an insignificant man into the picture..."

"I kissed her goodbye and drove to my date. Let me say this again, my dinner date. At a fancy restaurant downtown. For one panicky moment I wondered if I would actually remember what this date of mine looked like. He had a mustache I think. I assume he will remember me."...

"We met at the bar. He recognized me which was a good thing because I only half recognized him. I wanted to feel the rush of flirtation inspired by chemistry, but only felt the rush of exhileration inspired by getting acquainted — less with him, as it turned out, than getting reacquainted with myself as a datable woman. "...

"THE OUTCOME "

"Nothing much came of that date. We went out a few times. He even kissed me. He wanted things to move much quicker than I, not sexually which I can handle, but in terms of “life integration."...

"Many single mothers have no interest in a Big R relationship but would love to go on a date. Here are some rules for dating a single Mom:
1) Don’t push for meeting the kids.
2) Pay for the date.
3) Make the plan. One option, as with children, is to give a choice — would you like to go to Paris or would you like to see a movie? — and let me decide.
4) Single mothers are pathetically grateful for small gestures but since we are so constrained by the circumstances of our lives, you don’t have to worry that we will leap to conclusions and assume that a flower means a marriage proposal.
5) Offer to pay for the babysitter. Even though the offer will be refused, it is a lovely gesture.
6) Limit your own expectations about her availability — twice or three times a month is a big deal."

Again, from the male point of view it is unfathomable that this woman, or any woman, could be so self-centered and narcissistic that she would regard the entire purpose of a "date" as being "...getting reacquainted with herself as a datable woman." And women complain about men turning WOMEN into objects!!!! Do women REALLY have to have it explained to them that the ENTIRE REASON a man would ask them out on a "date" is because that man has the desire to become something MORE than an "insignificant man" in that woman's life?!!!! If so, no wonder "relationships" are going down the tubes.

Another great example is from a singles ad posted on the web by a woman from Georgia, USA.

Okay, so I went to the "tips on writing ads". That helped! I am a divorced 46 year old FEMALE, 5'4", 120lbs. (give or take 5lbs. [constantly]). I always thought that was what "The Battle of the Bulge" meant. I know you will want my measurements so I'll go where no woman has ever gone before and tell you. Just had them taken last week. 36-26-35. I was told that I was one inch from being perfect. The person who said this, you have to understand, did not know of my sharp tongue, at the time. I work for a Periodontist as an assistant. If I had but one wish in life, it would be for happiness. I am seeking to find someone out there who is honest to a fault, not too hard to look at, rather tall, great personality, loves to pamper women, opps, erase that, I meant, loves to pamper a woman, knows how to give and take, will understand that most women will, one way or the other, get in that last word, understands that sex is not everything (I realize that will exclude 90% of you guys), understands that sex is an important part of things, (what can I say, I'm a woman, you're not suppose to understand what that meant), likes to stay home and watch movies and cuddle, would rather walk in the rain than weed the garden, knows plenty of GOOD jokes, can listen as well as talk, have most of their own teeth, knows how to hold up there end of an intelligent conversation and has great come backs. I know, I sound like an awful person, but I'm really not. I'm a very giving and caring person. Sometimes to a fault. And I will end this application with one old saying. Which is "When I'm good, I'm good, but when I'm bad, I'm real good." Now, name that tune. ;->

Now first of all, let's look at the fact that a woman who places an ad in an INTERNATIONAL forum might be realistically classified as "desperate." However, like the narcissist only interested in dating herself described above, she feels the need to obscure this fact. Let's "deconstruct" this woman's ad and list the things that she is demanding of a potential relationship versus the things she is offering in return. Her "conditions" or "rules" are:

Her one wish in life is for "happiness" ( Wow! That makes her unique. Sure glad she told me that. Tells me a WHOLE lot about her.
Honesty to a fault. ( nothing wrong with that )
"...not too hard to look at, rather tall, great personality..." ( Wow! Another unique revelation. Since most women are looking for repulsive short trolls, she obviously won't have much competetion for those remaining tall, good looking men with great personalities.)
Loves to pamper women. No. Wait. ONE woman - her. ( Hey, this woman is getting more "special" and unique with every condition. Since so few women want to be pampered and instead would rather knock themselves out pampering a man, all those guys out there seriously suffering from lack of a woman to pamper will surely trample each other beating down this woman's door. )
Will just accept the fact that she is always going to have "...that last word."
Understands that sex is not everything. "( I realize that will exclude 90% of you guys. )" ( Can we say "men think with their penises"? )
Understands that sex is an important part of things. "(what can I say, I'm a woman, you're not suppose to understand what that meant)" ( Can we say "feminine mystique". )
"likes to stay home and watch movies and cuddle, would rather walk in the rain than weed the garden, knows plenty of GOOD jokes, can listen as well as talk, have most of their own teeth, knows how to hold up there end of an intelligent conversation and has great come backs." ( Can we say "yadda, yadda, yadda"? )
Ummm. Makes ME want to offer her the choice — between a trip to Paris or a movie — and let her decide. Some good samaritan needs to suggest to this woman that she retake her "tips on writing ads" course. Even she, herself, realizes how bad her ad sounds when she says "I know, I sound like an awful person, but I'm really not. " A poor dumb male, thinking only with his penis and not with "both sides of a female brain", would ask WHY, if she knows that her ad makes her sound like an "awful person" she went ahead and POSTED IT. However, all this proves is that men REALLY DON'T understand women at all.  

Now let's look at the list of what she is offering in return for all these sterling male qualities:

divorced ( and likely bitter about it ) 46 year old ( high milage ) FEMALE, (why all capital letters? ) 5'4", 120lbs. (give or take 5lbs. [constantly]). I always thought that was what "The Battle of the Bulge" meant. ( Great, so hanging around with her will mean constantly having to field the question "Do you think I look fat?" ) I know you will want my measurements so I'll go where no woman has ever gone before and tell you. (Oh, you daring and mischievious devil, you. ) Just had them taken last week. 36-26-35. I was told that I was one inch from being perfect.
a sharp tongue ( can be vicious and emotionally abusive if "provoked" by the suggestion that anything about her is NOT "perfect")
contempt and dismissal of 90% of men because they like sex - A LOT (more than she does) .
demand for sex that meets HER needs, despite the fact that she has already made it clear that she has no intention of respecting or meeting the MAN'S needs or at least any of the 90% of men who place a different level of importance on sex than she does.
being a very "caring and giving person" ( Fooled me. )
being "very good" when she is being "bad". ( An obvious sexual innuendo promising much which the entire rest of her ad makes it clear that she has no intention to deliver, plus indication of a shame-based view that sex is "bad". )
If this is an example of a woman thinking with both sides of her brain, it's really scary to contemplate how stupid she might be if she wasn't using her capabilities to the fullest extent possible.

The middle-aged divorcee presents an even more confusing mix of modern and traditional values. The only things she offers in her ad are related to her sexuality - her measurements, her contention that they are "almost" perfect, a picture of herself in an evening gown ( or lingerie ) showing an ample portion of cleavage, and the promise to be "very good" for the man who could entice ( bribe ) her to be "bad." She makes it clear that sex will be on her terms, not his; that she will ALWAYS expect to get her way ( the last word ); makes a veiled threat of verbal and emotional abuse ( sharp tongue ); and tries to belie the desperation which is obvious in her placing an ad in an international venue when only thousanths of a % of the potential readers are in her geographic vicinity. All in all, it is a very sad picture of a woman trying desperately to hold onto her sexual power and avoid having to face the realization that she has essentially none.

Thus is the face of womanhood of the 1990s and beyond which men must confront. And it's a picture which will turn the stomach of any decent man. More that any other gender related "gap" of the gender war, these women are the primary agents in creating what might be termed "the compassion gap." To use the phrase which has now become "fighting words" in any conversation about the relationships between the sexes, when it comes to their isolation and loneliness these women did indeed "ask for it."

I am gathering my ex’s stuff and the next time I see her, I’m giving it back.  I will get my stuff back from her.  It’s just hard to believe that it’s finally over.

I don’t think I’m going to be dating for a while, like maybe a year, maybe more, maybe less.  It just depends on what happens in the future.  I am not in any emotional pain, but I just don’t see the point of it right now.  The problem is, I want sex.  Is there anything I can do?  I’d like a sexual but friendly relationship with somebody, and perhaps something might grow out of that, but it doesn’t seem likely.  I mean, when it comes to sex, I'll do everything that is at all possible for me to do so that my partner is enjoying herself, but are there people out there who are actually willing to settle for that?

I think I found someone.  Lucky me.  (no sarcasm intended; I just don't like exclamation marks)

Yeah I'm aware that feelings might manifest in all of this, and I decided to accept it if it comes. 

"We all want to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to do what it takes to get there."  I can only assume that he's lazy if he loves his children as much as you say. 

Nobody would ask a man what a child-molester was thinking, simply because of the belief that most child-molesters are men.  Most men aren't pedophiles, so naturally they wouldn't be able to identify.  In the same sense, most men wouldn't be able to identify with a man who cheats, unless there was a distinct circumstance that helped provoke it.  Although society attempts to prove otherwise, the mind of a man isn't always the mind of a cheater.

I’d talk, but people would think that I’m flooding it, or maybe one of those guys who has to put his two cents in every single topic that shows up.  I usually have a lot to say, but I hesitate ’cause well, I think I get annoying sometimes, and of course, nobody would ever admit that I was....

That, and until you brought it up, I didn't notice the chat option.  I usually don't click on anything other than the message board.

My female friend had a huge crush on her supervisor a few months ago, but she decided to back off when he started seeing somebody else.  My friend and her supervisor weren't together.  They talked about it, but that is all.  From what I know now, they are just good friends.

Now, 3 months later, we got into one of those fun insulting games that people have sometimes.  She made fun of me because of the issues I had with my most recent gf, and not to be outdone, I made fun of her by bringing up her supervisor, and now she's pissed at me because of it.  She said that she had gotten over him, and that was three months ago.  Am I wrong to assume that if she doesn't care, as she claims, and 3 months have passed since then, it is now allowable to make a joke out of it?

It is yet another thing to be outraged by, but keep in mind that circumcision is the same thing.  Enjoy.

Female genital mutilation (FGM) is the term used to refer to the removal of part, or all, of the female genitalia. The most severe form is infibulation, also known as pharaonic circumcision. An estimated 15% of all mutilations in Africa are infibulations. The procedure consists of clitoridectomy (where all, or part of, the clitoris is removed), excision (removal of all, or part of, the labia minora), and cutting of the labia majora to create raw surfaces, which are then stitched or held together in order to form a cover over the vagina when they heal. A small hole is left to allow urine and menstrual blood to escape. In some less conventional forms of infibulation, less tissue is removed and a larger opening is left.

The vast majority (85%) of genital mutilations performed in Africa consist of clitoridectomy or excision. The least radical procedure consists of the removal of the clitoral hood.

In some traditions a ceremony is held, but no mutilation of the genitals occurs. The ritual may include holding a knife next to the genitals, pricking the clitoris, cutting some pubic hair, or light scarification in the genital or upper thigh area.  
The procedures followed
The type of mutilation practised, the age at which it is carried out, and the way in which it is done varies according to a variety of factors, including the woman or girl's ethnic group, what country they are living in, whether in a rural or urban area and their socio-economic provenance.

The procedure is carried out at a variety of ages, ranging from shortly after birth to some time during the first pregnancy, but most commonly occurs between the ages of four and eight. According to the World Health Organization, the average age is falling. This indicates that the practice is decreasingly associated with initiation into adulthood, and this is believed to be particularly the case in urban areas.

Some girls undergo genital mutilation alone, but mutilation is more often undergone as a group of, for example, sisters, other close female relatives or neighbours. Where FGM is carried out as part of an initiation ceremony, as is the case in societies in eastern, central and western Africa, it is more likely to be carried out on all the girls in the community who belong to a particular age group.

The procedure may be carried out in the girl's home, or the home of a relative or neighbour, in a health centre, or, especially if associated with initiation, at a specially designated site, such as a particular tree or river. The person performing the mutilation may be an older woman, a traditional midwife or healer, a barber, or a qualified midwife or doctor.

Girls undergoing the procedure have varying degrees of knowledge about what will happen to them. Sometimes the event is associated with festivities and gifts. Girls are exhorted to be brave. Where the mutilation is part of an initiation rite, the festivities may be major events for the community. Usually only women are allowed to be present.

Sometimes a trained midwife will be available to give a local anaesthetic. In some cultures, girls will be told to sit beforehand in cold water, to numb the area and reduce the likelihood of bleeding. More commonly, however, no steps are taken to reduce the pain. The girl is immobilized, held, usually by older women, with her legs open. Mutilation may be carried out using broken glass, a tin lid, scissors, a razor blade or some other cutting instrument. When infibulation takes place, thorns or stitches may be used to hold the two sides of the labia majora together, and the legs may be bound together for up to 40 days. Antiseptic powder may be applied, or, more usually, pastes - containing herbs, milk, eggs, ashes or dung - which are believed to facilitate healing. The girl may be taken to a specially designated place to recover where, if the mutilation has been carried out as part of an initiation ceremony, traditional teaching is imparted. For the very rich, the mutilation procedure may be performed by a qualified doctor in hospital under local or general anaesthetic.

An estimated 135 million of the world's girls and women have undergone genital mutilation, and two million girls a year are at risk of mutilation - approximately 6,000 per day. It is practised extensively in Africa and is common in some countries in the Middle East. It also occurs, mainly among immigrant communities, in parts of Asia and the Pacific, North and Latin America and Europe.

FGM is reportedly practised in more than 28 African countries (see FGM in Africa: Information by Country (ACT 77/07/97)). There are no figures to indicate how common FGM is in Asia. It has been reported among Muslim populations in Indonesia, Sri Lanka and Malaysia, although very little is known about the practice in these countries. In India, a small Muslim sect, the Daudi Bohra, practise clitoridectomy.

In the Middle East, FGM is practised in Egypt, Oman, Yemen and the United Arab Emirates.

There have been reports of FGM among certain indigenous groups in central and south America, but little information is available.

"I was genitally mutilated at the age of ten. I was told by my late grandmother that they were taking me down to the river to perform a certain ceremony, and afterwards I would be given a lot of food to eat. As an innocent child, I was led like a sheep to be slaughtered.

Once I entered the secret bush, I was taken to a very dark room and undressed. I was blindfolded and stripped naked. I was then carried by two strong women to the site for the operation. I was forced to lie flat on my back by four strong women, two holding tight to each leg. Another woman sat on my chest to prevent my upper body from moving. A piece of cloth was forced in my mouth to stop me screaming. I was then shaved.

When the operation began, I put up a big fight. The pain was terrible and unbearable. During this fight, I was badly cut and lost blood. All those who took part in the operation were half-drunk with alcohol. Others were dancing and singing, and worst of all, had stripped naked.

I was genitally mutilated with a blunt penknife.

After the operation, no one was allowed to aid me to walk. The stuff they put on my wound stank and was painful. These were terrible times for me. Each time I wanted to urinate, I was forced to stand upright. The urine would spread over the wound and would cause fresh pain all over again. Sometimes I had to force myself not to urinate for fear of the terrible pain. I was not given any anaesthetic in the operation to reduce my pain, nor any antibiotics to fight against infection. Afterwards, I haemorrhaged and became anaemic. This was attributed to witchcraft. I suffered for a long time from acute vaginal infections."
--Hannah Koroma, Sierra Leone 

Dear Sirs,

As I am a citizen of Great Britain, I'm not sure if my comments will be of value to you, but I have just read your article on 'Family Violence' and felt moved to write.

I'm now 47, but am still carrying the hurt and bearing the consequences of a horrific childhood. It honestly never goes away. It's worse just now, because it's my birthday and soon it will be Christmas - and I know it's stupid but I con never stop the memories of those sick, scared feelings of past years from taking over.. They were the times we'd hate the most, my 3 sisters and me, because we'd always hope and pray 'THIS YEAR IT WILL BE DIFFERENT' but it never was...

We did try to tell - Each of my three sisters ran away numerous times - I'm disabled and use a wheelchair (since being 8 months old) so I couldn't run away but even I once plucked up courage to tell. But no one believed us. My sisters would get brought back home and there 'SHE' would be all smiles to the policeman - make him tea and be so loving to the returned sister - until the policeman said goodbye and then - well she beat my youngest sister so bad she had to be kept off school because someone might notice her beatings and bruises. Even after two weeks, when my sister did go back to school they were so worried about her eye they took her to the eye hospital. My sister had learned her lesson well by then she told everyone she had a fight at school.

But you know what hurts the most. Even today no one will accept that women are abusive. I read the domestic violence sites all they talk of is 'women' well, you know I'm a woman too but who can I turn to? Where can I go for comfort and or help I've found a few women's survivors message boards - and I've posted messages - but you know what? My messages are deleted - it's happened three times on three different message boards so I daren't try any more - I don't want to again be told I don't count or that the abuse I suffered doesn't matter..

Why does no one talk of the realities of abuse? I don't care what men- hating feminazi groups spout - I know it's just propaganda to further their political agenda but it hurt me so much just now to see that you, a police department that even I, thousands of miles away in another country, had always admired and respected, would not have told the truth.

I really am not trying to be 'smart' or argumentative and disrespectful.. But surely as the police you should not be biased against anyone If our police (in the global sense) cannot protect us, where else can we go? Ordinary people who, thankfully, know nothing of abuse, will read your information - and not only in Canada, but all over the world.. How do you think they'll react if a child goes to them and says their mother is abusing them, if all they hear is 'men abuse - women are victims' ?

There's also another real danger in hiding the realities of abuse - if these vicious women don't get treated, their victims are not helped and supported (because of course, if no one believes they've been abused, why would they offer support) these children then grow up and carry on the only pattern of life they know. Two years ago, my niece ran away from her mother (my sister) she turned up at my door, thankfully, and told me.. "Auntie Sue, if you can't help me I'll kill myself" She had had the exact same life my sisters and me had - she'd also learned police and social workers don't care - can't be trusted - because she'd been on 'the child at risk list' since three years old. I myself had reported instances when my sister had left her alone days at a time at age 7 - no food, not allowed to turn a light on nor open a curtain (so it looked like no one was in) not allowed to answer the telephone or door.. But nothing happened. No one took my sister to court. No one took my niece Angie into care. No one cares if it's a woman abusing you..

I've read a few speeches made by your wonderful Senator, Anne Cools. She knows the truth. One speech I read made my cry so much - it was like she'd been in my house when we were children - she was talking about me and my sisters, yet she didn't even know we existed. I can't tell you how much it helped me to know that at least one person in the world knows I wasn't lying But imagine.. I've had to wait to be in my 40's before I found one person in the world who knew I'd told the truth all those years ago.

I know, as individuals you're all good folk, and I'm sure you'd not send back 'home' a child who had black eyes or had been kicked so hard she'd had to be rushed into hospital because the kicking had ruptured her apendix (my youngest sister had that happen at age 11 - you know what her crime was? she'd hung the washing out on the clothes-line the wrong way round - you see abusers don't need an excuse they can use anything to say 'it's your own fault' because how the heck can washing be hung up 'wrong'?) But, if you write articles like 'Family Violence' on your official web site, how would a child KNOW in their heart that you are good people and that you'd believe them? Do you understand what I mean? I'm sorry I'm not able to write more clearly, as you can imagine, it's very hard for me to remain objective and it's hard to type when one is crying and throwing-up :o(

This time last year I decided I would try to help today's children as I knew what it felt like to be abandoned - I'd decided to find links and support for victims of abuse and survivors like myself. But you know.. If your abuse is a woman, there's absolutely no information out there. And even more frightening - most child abuse information is not for children they don't count, apparently, because all one can find is 'women and children' Now, if your abuser is your mother - do you honestly think a child would be able to trust anyone who talked of 'women and children'..?

When we were young my mother left us - took everything, pots, pans, even the light bulbs from their sockets. Our poor Dad came home from work and there we were in an empty house. It was wonderful !!!! But after a month or two 'she' decided she wanted the house - unfortunately that meant she had to have us too - and no one took us into a room where 'she' couldn't see or hear us.. She'd told us what to say, and by Golly, we knew we'd better say it or we'd be killed.. those were her words.. And so she got rid of our Dad, by us having to say it was him who was cruel and how scared we were but of him not her.. See.. by then we'd alreadly learned no one believed us, cared or wanted to know.. So, she got the house and us.. and it was like a death sentence. It was our Dad who'd loved us, he didn't know what was going on, because it went on when he was at work and we'd not dared tell or wanted to upset him in a way we tried to protect him because she was so vicious to him too. - she'd make us say we'd already eaten earlier so he didn't always know what was happening - but I recall he one time found us eating bread with sugar on - that was our main meal.. He was crying and made her make us a proper meal - can you imagine how it felt for him.. to hear us saying it was he who was cruel to us? Why did no one talk to us in private? Why is it still happening? And how can it be stopped if no one believes and accepts that women are no different than men?

You see.. When I read any domestic violence information or any 'batter's profiles' they're talking of our mother.. She did kill our pets some of them anyhow. and some she just got rid of (maybe killed those too but I don't know) we'd just come home and our dog would be gone.. But in a way that was better - because she's be so cruel to our dogs she'd kick and beat them and tell us it was our fault for doing or not doing whatever.. But then, we'd come home and there she'd got another dog.. and we used to try not to love it because we knew we'd have to watch it starve and get kicked. One I really did love so much - but one day she made us 'get rid of it' We weren't allowed home until we'd got rid of it... In the end we took it to the police station and pretended we'd found it - the policeman was so kind I'm sure he knew but he took it for us.

You know. if you've got a stab wound, a black eye, or been kicked in the back, stomach or ribs - it really doesn't matter who did it it hurts just as much.. I just can't understand why women never get punished or their children taken into safety - a man only has to hug his child and can be locked up while 'investigations' are done - yet even killing a baby is okay for women.. :o(

I do hope that you will be able to write your information in a way that will help and comfort, as well as empower all your citizens, and those of other nations who may stumble upon it as i did just now.. Abuse will never be eradicated if only half the perpetrators are treated (or jailed) we need to treat it like cancer. It can happen to anyone - no matter their colour or creed or if they're rich or poor. No one deserves it - it's never their fault, but whether man, woman or child, anyone can be abused - and anyone an abuser.

Yours very sincerely, and hopefully,

Sue XXXXX

It's 2 am where I live, and upon talking about some life choices with a friend, I offered what I think is insightful and very helpful advice: "The secret to happiness is to do what you want to do; the secret to misery is to be stupid about it".

What do you think of it?

I don’t think I trust her enough to be that involved.  I don’t know where she has been, and I’m not very familiar with what she will be doing later on.  I have already found my ’friend with benefits’ though.  Thanks for your concern.

That, and it's very difficult to offend me.  Only when it's a direct insult will I be offended.  I'm just that way, I guess.

One of my friends comes to my house occasionally and wants to surf porn on my computer, but I usually don't let him.  The little weirdo needs to get his own computer.

I think the relationship with my 'friend with benefits' is becoming something more, but that's fine with me.  We've decided to start an official relationship so that her friends don't make fun of her for being 'easy'.  I wish I knew why it was so bad for a woman to know what she wants and go for it...

Also, before I broke up with my ex, I bought some sexy lingerie that I was going to give her as a birthday present, but she keeps avoiding me, so I don't feel too inclined to give her the present.  I also got her a manicuring kit at the time.  In all, I spent about $75 on her presents.  Keep in mind that I didn't have a job at the time, so $75 is a lot for me.  I had to spend my birthday money...  Anyway, what should I do with the lingerie?  It alone cost $50.

Usually, heavily cultured regions don't think of sex as something to be enjoyed.  Even in the US, people try to FGM (Female Genital Mindfuck) women into thinking that it is 'dirty' or something.  Sex has become evil.  Even for procreation, sexuality is tightly bound by social restriction and taboo.  The only reason it exists right now is because without it our species would die off.  That is the only reason why sex is allowed over there, or for the most part anywhere, for that matter...

I am not shy.  I went into the chatroom almost constantly a few days ago, but I only encountered one person.

Tell ya what...I'll try to get online every night for the next week at 11pm EST.

I'm a lesbian!  Yay!

Damn, a lot has happened since the last time I was here...

...Don't point fingers at me because of what I'm about to say...

I became a member at this site for one reason - to provide more than one perspective and create an open-minded environment where instead of pointing fingers and criticizing a person or group, we might grow to accept the fact that humans are human, even if being human means having peculiar tastes in coitus.

Humans are animals too, and the sooner we accept the fact that we aren't significant or 'special', the sooner we will be able to identify with all species, rather than drown in our own superiority complexes.  Let's think about this for a second.  If animals are innocent in these incidents, then how can one explain the leg fetish that some dogs have?   Surely a dog can tell that a human leg is not another dog, so wouldn't that be bestiality too?  I'm not going to believe for one second that any animal, unless it is obvious that s/he is refusing and struggling, is innocent or being brainwashed into enjoying the things it does.

Maybe it's because I'm completely numb to taboo that I regard things like bestiality and necrophilia with indifference; I don't know.  All I know is that if people would actually stop the hate for just a minute and understand that people are DIFFERENT, that life, as a whole, would be far less unpleasant.

There's nothing wrong with not liking bestiality.  I'm indifferent to all of it, and therein lies the key.  We all want world peace.  If it comes, it'll be not because we are the same in tastes and beliefs.  It will come from the fact that we will NEVER be the same, yet can accept that and move on with life.  I'm sure that there are a few people out there that hate those who have sex with humans as well, and no, I'm not one of them.

Animals do indeed breed to reproduce, not for pleasure.  If we didn't have birth control, we'd be just the same.  If sex weren't for pleasure at all, then animals couldn't have orgasm.  In your comparison with dog/leg versus the dog/dog sex...um, well it doesn't apply to my dog.  I've noticed his arousal occasionally when I'm nearby.  He has had many opportunities to mate with a female dog, but as of yet, he hasn't.  I believe that the only reason why he hasn't tried anything with me yet is because he is afraid of me. 

Another example: My cousin has a dog who at one time had his own girlfriend, and had a normal sex life, and still, almost everytime me or my mother comes over to visit, well there he goes with the leg.

I'm getting sleepy, for forgive me if my post isn't as understandable as most.

As for your last question, as long as this isn't just some random person or whatever, I really wouldn't care.  The dog has his own life.  He can do what he wants with it.  The reason why I would mind it being a random person is because I don't like it when people I don't know are nearby something I own that's expensive.

I think people are misunderstanding me here.  My point was that it's almost impossible to understand anyway, just as heterosexuals can't understand the preferences of homosexuals.  IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD, just accepted.  Having an open mind doesn't mean that you would want to have sex with animals; it means that you can accept the fact that some people do. 

I have no sexual attraction to animals, just as I have no sexual attraction to the dead, just as I have no sexual attraction to other men.  Since homosexuality is generally accepted in society now, I'll use that analogy.  I have gay friends, but I take no interest in what it is that they might find appealing.  I accept that they are DIFFERENT, and move on.

...That was peculiar.

I have a problem with only a few, but #67 really stuck out for me, and I’m surprised that nobody has commented on it.  If you want a man to love you, he has to respect you, but he won’t respect you if he doesn’t respect himself.  Apparently a man won’t respect himself if he lets a woman apply such an obvious double-standard.

I wonder what women would think if we changed 'man' or 'men' in this list to 'woman' or 'women'.  I like the list, but I wonder if women would still agree with most of it.

It's simply because the good ones tend not to make the first move.

I had this quote said a long time ago that 'the majority of things said are not spoken', but I won't delve into the semantics of verbal consent and signed contracts - it's all too vague and unclear anyway.

People are under the impression that things like that are going to go away simply because it's taboo.  Somehow society will be able to shame these twisted individuals into the perfect citizen, sensitive to an unimaginable degree and politically correct with every phrase that leaves their mouths.  It's a nice fantasy, but that is all it is.  There will always be bestiality, there will always be pedophilia (I'll get into that later), and there will always be the other various taboo subjects.  It's not going to go away simply because people don't like it.  I don't care how much people refuse to 'accept' it.  It will not go away.

You're right CB, animals don't have the voice to consent to such a thing.  However, do they have the voice to say 'no this is making me uncomfortable'?  That point is equally valid as far as determining what consent is, and like I said above, 'the majority of things said are not spoken'. 

People nowadays are under the impression that children are 'special', or in need of some sort of exclusive treatment.  Why do people think that?  I remember my childhood very well, and I can assure you that I was not 'innocent', nor was I 'naive'.  I've known what sex was for as long as I can remember, even back into my toddler years, minus the textbook details, of course.  I knew what coitus was, and I knew that there was no stork that brought kids to married couples.  In third grade, on my own, I came up with the concept of algebra, and the way people use it.  Up until that point, I had never heard of algebra.  During the majority of my childhood, I had to watch my mother get beaten by her boyfriend, and I suppose I can spare you the bloody details in that affair.  I am perhaps the most non-violent person anybody knows.  Sure, I enjoy knives and the like, but I'd never use one unless I had to.  When I was 15, I knew how to create and edit my own programs, without tutoring.  I guess my point is that I was never 'innocent', or whatever the hell people want to call it nowadays.  I knew the things that society didn't want me to, and I think I turned out all right.

What is so miraculous about the age 18?  Sure, it makes one legally an adult, but I highly doubt that it makes one emotionally an adult.  Some may never become an adult, and some become an adult far earlier than age 18.  Like, age 14-18.  What makes this four-year period any different from age 20-24?  There's puberty, but that is all.  I wonder if the 'maturity' of adolescents would occur around that age if people allowed the maturity to occur earlier, like with me.  Surely nobody here could rightly call me immature, as I seem to be one of the few who isn't saying, "I want it done this way, and I want it done NOW" (in reference to bestial persons). 

There are parts of pedophilia that I mind, and parts that I don't.  I can't tolerate it if the person isn't physically or emotionally ready for it, and as I said before, neither is at all relevant to the age 18.  Infants or toddlers, for example, are clearly not capable of handling something like that, so that would be the kind I hate.  I wonder would people think more lowly of me in this matter if they factored in my age.  Hmm....

Maybe he does, but the majority of men feel the way you do, only that they think of the women as leeches...

So, what exactly is it that you're asking?  If it's whether or not your man wants you to take care of the household, then the answer is yes.  Or were you just venting?

Yes, I suppose that nowadays children could be put in that kind of category, but the only reason why they'd need it is because adults feel the need to hide information from them.  Most single mothers feel the need to lie to their children about why they're putting on makeup, to go on a date with somebody.  But I guess I don't understand why there is such a need to suppress the more distinct points of life.  It's like that FGM thing I posted a while back.  Americans love to boo other countries because of physical sexuality mutilation practices, and yet Americans have no problem with destroying the emotional connections to them, so that someday a grown will refer to her genitalia as 'that weird thing between my legs'.  Yes, that really happened.

I think about pedophila, and yes, the preteen pornography does bother me, because they don't yet have the necessary hormones to consent to it.  Maybe the reason why I don't mind teen pornography is because I am one.  I don't know.

The American ideal when it comes to children and discovering sexuality is not to understand or enjoy it, but be completely disassociated with it.  Think about it, and you'll know it to be true.  Why would people want to cut the youth off from one of the most essential and fulfilling experiences that life has to offer?  It's not as if we don't have birth control, which people also seem to encourage children to avoid.  Then, children grow up to be so mind-raped by this that they become proud of sexual virginity well into their 20's.  It makes about as much sense as somebody cutting off their leg and saying "I'm better than you because I hopped on one leg all my life".

Re paragraph 2:  I do see the good in people.  This, though, is a site to vent.  It is not fair to assume that you know the details of a person’s personality simply because of a few dozen posts on a website. 

Re paragraph 4:  Maybe it’s just my nature as a person, but I’ve never been one to intimidate or shame any of my pets into submission for any reason.  They speak out if they don’t like something. 

Re paragraph 5:  I set limits in my life as well.  A quote I made up a while ago was, "the secret to happiness is to do what you want to, and the secret to misery is to be stupid about it."  There is a limit to everything.  I once was like you, in believing that taboo things were bad, simply because they were taboo.  I have experienced both sides of the argument, and yet I decided to choose the one I have now.  Closed-minded I am most certainly not.

Re paragraph 6/7:  Perhaps you don’t see the American ideal the way I do because that sort of pressure isn’t upon you.  The American ideal may be as you say, but if so, why is it so necessary to discourage it all to begin with?  If it is, then inhibitions wouldn’t exist well into marriage.  And as far as pregnancy goes, that’s what birth control is for.  Sure, it’s not 100% guaranteed to work, but what is?  It’s not 100% guaranteed that a tornado won’t hit my area tonight.  It’s not 100% guaranteed that when I go to cut lemons tomorrow, I won’t cut off my finger and bleed to death.  Risks are an everyday part of life, and nearly all of them are life-threatening.  And yet, somehow I don’t lose my finger or get torn apart by 300 MPH winds.  I take risks, but I’m not being stupid about it, and that’s the key to it all.  Don’t drink and drive.  Stop, drop and roll.  Always wear a condom, and always have a backup.  Simple.

Yeah, I know that some things are worth fighting for, but... I just don't see the finish line.  And yes, there are many more posts than there were a month ago.

This is a personals ad I picked up a while ago, and I wanted to know what people would think about this woman, after reading and examining her post...

Okay, so I went to the "tips on writing ads". That helped! I am a divorced 46 year old FEMALE, 5'4", 120lbs. (give or take 5lbs. [constantly]). I always thought that was what "The Battle of the Bulge" meant. I know you will want my measurements so I'll go where no woman has ever gone before and tell you. Just had them taken last week. 36-26-35. I was told that I was one inch from being perfect. The person who said this, you have to understand, did not know of my sharp tongue, at the time. I work for a Periodontist as an assistant. If I had but one wish in life, it would be for happiness. I am seeking to find someone out there who is honest to a fault, not too hard to look at, rather tall, great personality, loves to pamper women, opps, erase that, I meant, loves to pamper a woman, knows how to give and take, will understand that most women will, one way or the other, get in that last word, understands that sex is not everything (I realize that will exclude 90% of you guys), understands that sex is an important part of things, (what can I say, I'm a woman, you're not suppose to understand what that meant), likes to stay home and watch movies and cuddle, would rather walk in the rain than weed the garden, knows plenty of GOOD jokes, can listen as well as talk, have most of their own teeth, knows how to hold up there end of an intelligent conversation and has great come backs. I know, I sound like an awful person, but I'm really not. I'm a very giving and caring person. Sometimes to a fault. And I will end this application with one old saying. Which is "When I'm good, I'm good, but when I'm bad, I'm real good." Now, name that tune. ;->

Of course it's honest, but is it realistic?

Now first of all, let's look at the fact that a woman who places an ad in an INTERNATIONAL forum might be realistically classified as "desperate." However, like the narcissist only interested in dating herself described above, she feels the need to obscure this fact. Let's "deconstruct" this woman's ad and list the things that she is demanding of a potential relationship versus the things she is offering in return. Her "conditions" or "rules" are:

Her one wish in life is for "happiness" ( Wow! That makes her unique. Sure glad she told me that. Tells me a WHOLE lot about her.
Honesty to a fault. ( nothing wrong with that )
"...not too hard to look at, rather tall, great personality..." ( Wow! Another unique revelation. Since most women are looking for repulsive short trolls, she obviously won't have much competetion for those remaining tall, good looking men with great personalities.)
Loves to pamper women. No. Wait. ONE woman - her. ( Hey, this woman is getting more "special" and unique with every condition. Since so few women want to be pampered and instead would rather knock themselves out pampering a man, all those guys out there seriously suffering from lack of a woman to pamper will surely trample each other beating down this woman's door. )
Will just accept the fact that she is always going to have "...that last word."
Understands that sex is not everything. "( I realize that will exclude 90% of you guys. )" ( Can we say "men think with their penises"? )
Understands that sex is an important part of things. "(what can I say, I'm a woman, you're not suppose to understand what that meant)" ( Can we say "feminine mystique". )
"likes to stay home and watch movies and cuddle, would rather walk in the rain than weed the garden, knows plenty of GOOD jokes, can listen as well as talk, have most of their own teeth, knows how to hold up there end of an intelligent conversation and has great come backs." ( Can we say "yadda, yadda, yadda"? )

Now let's look at the list of what she is offering in return for all these sterling male qualities:

divorced ( and likely bitter about it ) 46 year old ( high milage ) FEMALE, (why all capital letters? ) 5'4", 120lbs. (give or take 5lbs. [constantly]). I always thought that was what "The Battle of the Bulge" meant. ( Great, so hanging around with her will mean constantly having to field the question "Do you think I look fat?" ) I know you will want my measurements so I'll go where no woman has ever gone before and tell you. (Oh, you daring and mischievious devil, you. ) Just had them taken last week. 36-26-35. I was told that I was one inch from being perfect.
a sharp tongue ( can be vicious and emotionally abusive if "provoked" by the suggestion that anything about her is NOT "perfect")
contempt and dismissal of 90% of men because they like sex - A LOT (more than she does) .
demand for sex that meets HER needs, despite the fact that she has already made it clear that she has no intention of respecting or meeting the MAN'S needs or at least any of the 90% of men who place a different level of importance on sex than she does.
being a very "caring and giving person" ( Fooled me. )
being "very good" when she is being "bad". ( An obvious sexual innuendo promising much which the entire rest of her ad makes it clear that she has no intention to deliver, plus indication of a shame-based view that sex is "bad". )
If this is an example of a woman thinking with both sides of her brain, it's really scary to contemplate how stupid she might be if she wasn't using her capabilities to the fullest extent possible.

The middle-aged divorcee presents an even more confusing mix of modern and traditional values. The only things she offers in her ad are related to her sexuality - her measurements, her contention that they are "almost" perfect, a picture of herself in an evening gown ( or lingerie ) showing an ample portion of cleavage, and the promise to be "very good" for the man who could entice ( bribe ) her to be "bad." She makes it clear that sex will be on her terms, not his; that she will ALWAYS expect to get her way ( the last word ); makes a veiled threat of verbal and emotional abuse ( sharp tongue ); and tries to belie the desperation which is obvious in her placing an ad in an international venue when only thousanths of a % of the potential readers are in her geographic vicinity. All in all, it is a very sad picture of a woman trying desperately to hold onto her sexual power and avoid having to face the realization that she has essentially none.

Oh, and I'm not the author of that previous post.  I am not that cynical.  It does seem to make a lot of sense though.  I can handle nearly any degree of relationship out there, maturity-wise, but there is nothing but take take take nowadays. 

The reason I posted this is to show the lack of reciprocity that the woman implies in the post, and how easy it is to mask it or make it justifiable.  Most women are not 'innocent' or whatever the word is that they claim to be, as proven by the acceptance of such a personals ad.  Where are all the good guys out there?  They might not care to try anymore after encountering women like this one.

Sometimes, I wonder why this song is so popular by women.  I know it's illogical, but the only conclusion is that some women wish they could say they had somebody as famous as Usher cheat on them.  Lovely stuff, I guess.

It's about time a woman pointed out how women can be just as abusive as men.  In my opinion, women are generally more vicious and selfish than men because in this society, they know that they can get away with it.  Men can't do that because it's not 'chivalrous'.

This may be one of the last times I am active here, for personal reasons. 

For those of you who have been here a while, you might know my story.  Anyway, my ex is now dating a friend of mine, and I was told by someone else that she loves him.  She hasn’t said it, but she implied it, I suppose.  I have no problem with their relationship, but sometimes I wonder what I did wrong.  That, and the person who told me she loves him also told me that I am dirt to her.  I really don’t think I can move on with my life (dating-wise) until I can at least form a truce with my ex, but she is not even willing to listen.  I guess it just bothers me because I gave everything I had to make the relationship work when we were together and she never said that for me...

I once loved her more than I can describe, and although I don’t love her anymore, she still have a significant place in my heart.  I want all of this emotion to end!  Why can’t I stop caring?  Why do my logic and feelings fight like this, and why can’t they just be the same?  Is there something wrong with me?  Who am I kidding; of course there is.

Now I understand the quote I read a while ago.  "There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love."

Oh, and don't say to 'give it time'.  I was dumped 6 months ago.

I have always hated the society that we live in, and most of the time, people wonder what might be wrong with me.  Every now and then, though, I get a reason.  This is one of those reasons.

And to all women out there, if you're truly fed up with the media's portrayal of how women should look, throw away all makeup, special shampoos and other 'feminine' products, minus menstrual ones, of course.  Women in general say they do this for three reasons, to please men, to impress other women, and to please themselves.  If it's to impress other women, then does that mean women get breast implants to impress other women too?  Some say that it's to boost self-esteem and know that they 'look good', but by whose standard does a woman 'look good'?  If all men said that women who wore makeup were uglier from wearing it, very few women would wear makeup.  And then, some women are honest about themselves and say that it's to please their man or advertise.  Stop thinking that you need makeup to look beautiful in the eyes of your man.  It is really not necessary.  When with my ex, I was going to kiss her for no reason at all, but her eye shadow made me reconsider....

Ouch...well that's not very nice.

I know it is perhaps gonna be called 'nagging' or something, but did you ever try to have an open, not-ending-because-of-tension discussion on why things are the way they are?  Be honest with yourself and with him about what it is you are looking for.  Make sure you aren't being unrealistic in your expectations and make sure that he does the same.  If you hide some of the ways you feel and suddenly want a divorce, he will feel betrayed and wonder where things went wrong, but not be able to see it or understand it.  I wish my ex had told me what her problems were instead of just ditching me.  I can assure you that I am not like your husband. 

I really don’t think this will pass.  The worst part about this is that my ’friend with benefits’ has said that she loves me and I believe her, but until I can solve this problem, I can’t reciprocate anything. 

I have no friends to confide in; she took them all.  It's rather ironic because without me, she never would have met any of my friends, including the one she is dating.  Everytime I was around my friends, she would throw a fit and leave, breaking up the group.  I didn't want to make my friends decide between us, so I simply left in the naive hope that someday things would get better.  It hasn't, and now I haven't a friend in the world to confide in.

I have been trying to live my life to the fullest recently.  Yesterday I went to a county fair with my gf, and although we didn’t ride anything, we still had a good time.  Tomorrow we’ll be going to the beach with some of her other friends.

As for the issues I had before, I feel ’better’ regarding all of that, and no longer have that train of thought.  Regarding depression, it’s not that I focus on the ’down’ side of life.  I just like to stay realistic.  A lot of people like to say that life doesn’t make sense, and they’ll never understand it.  I DO understand it.  I understand nearly everything about things go because I’m willing to accept the fact that not everything will live up to the sappy cliche` of a romance novel.  It’s really not all that depressing when I accept the ways I currently think.  Contrary to what most people think, I am actually in a good mood most of the time.  People just assume I’m depressed because I say things that don’t live up to the chivalrous facade.

I think that I can love her eventually, but I don't know if I'll be able to with all of this baggage.  Maybe I won't be able to solve all of my problems.  I know running away from problems is not the way to get better, but I don't see any other way.  She won't let me solve this.  It's starting to get to the point where a while ago, I would have felt sorry for her, but now I can only feel sorry for the poor bastard she gets her hooks into.  Maybe someday I can get over this after all.

If I had any experience in that field, I’d tell you my story and be able to give some advice, but as it stands now, all I can do is smile, give a hug and a pat on the back.  Hopefully it'll help a bit.

*pat pat pat*

I really don't know what makes me happy anymore.  Everytime I think of something I like, I can think of 5 things I hate.  Then again, only in a perfect world would that proportion be a little more balanced. 

My favorite shows are the ones on Comedy Central, I make ringtones and other music from time to time, I listen to rock and goth instrumentals, and I occasionaly manipulate spirit energy. 

As far as life management goes, I am working on getting a scholarship from http://www.davidsonfellows.org .  The scholarships are earned through a 'significant' piece of work, and my goal is to prove the existence of a higher power.  Top prize is $50,000.  If I can get a scholarship from them, I will use it to help with my studies in psychology and medicine, so perhaps one day I can become a shrink, and one that can prescribe things at that.  I won't plan my life any further than that right now, because nothing is guaranteed and I won't want a life's planning to go to waste.

Pretty song, it is.  If anybody wants the song, lemme know.  Here are the lyrics.  It's very good for listening to when getting through depression.

(Child choir)

Never seen a bluer sky/ I can feel it reaching out and moving closer/ There's something about blue

I asked myself what it's all for/ You know the funny thing about it/ I couldn't answer/ No I couldn't answer

Things have turned a deeper shade of blue/ And images that might be real may be illusion/ Keep flashing off and on

Free/ Wanna be free/ Gonna be free/ And move among the stars/ You know they really aren't so far/ Feels so free/ Got to know free/ Please/ Don't wake me from the dream/ It's really everything it seemed/ I'm so free/ No black and white in the blue

(Child choir)

Everything is clearer now/ Life is just a dream, you know, that's never ending/ I'm ascending

I guess I should've seen it coming.  I dunno why sex segregation is necessary rather than simply booting abusive users, but the majority of problems in this world tend to be blamed on men in general, so I suppose that 'retaliation' against an imaginary source of problems would be necessary. 

Maybe it just bothers me so because I have always been a woman at heart.  I am emotionally a woman, I'm about to buy some colored contact lenses, and if that weren't enough, right now I'm wearing a mood toe ring.  I have always been interested in 'girltalk', but ALWAYS was I excluded simply because of the thing in my pants.  I wanted to be involved with my female friends' conversations, but they always hide behind the 'feminine mystique' and imply that simply because I'm a guy, I would have no chance of understanding what they were saying.  That's part of the reason why I came to this site in the first place - to see what this 'girltalk' was about and be able to participate in it.

If anybody out there still wonders why I have such a 'depressing' outlook on life, this is one of those reasons.  Just remember, misogynists are not born; they are made.

I don't really expect any responses, seeing as how there usually are none, but this bugs me so I'm going to post it.  So there.

I've noticed an alarming difference between the sexes about what makes them happy and what their lifetime goals are.  These goals are always idealistic, and usually very unlikely, especially for women.  I was talking to my gf about what her life goals were (y'know, kids and career and all that) and she said that she wants to either be a teacher or art professor, but wants an indefinate number of kids and a coffee shop on the side as well.  I have nothing against teaching, but I really don't think there's enough money to do all that.

I feel sorry for most women today, and once again, I blame the majority of problems women face nowadays on feminism.  Women were once happy with their traditional roles of wife, mother, nurturer.  Because of feminism though, they have been forced to go out and invade the men's traditional role field.  With the 'happy, single childless women' out there now, there is a distinct implication that women are starting to completely abandon the way women used to be, and they are starting to want to embrace a lifestyle that as of yet, most women are failing to understand.  Most are under the impression that they can do all the stuff that makes them happy and yet, not live in poverty.  I occasionally chuckle to myself when I hear things like this.  How about half of women say that money doesn't matter.  (In case somebody out there starts to get outraged and claims that women are not like that, keep in mind that I'm referring to my generation, not yours.)

I'm trying to get my girlfriend to understand that if she becomes single in 10 or 15 years from now, she will not be able to do those things.  She doesn't care about money as much as I do because she is still clinging to the women's traditional role, where how money was earned was irrelevant.  The woman's traditional role is dying, and soon she will have to wake up and see that even if she does manage to do all the things she wants to do in life, money will be extremely tight and the stress will make it very hard to be 'happy'.  Unless, of course, she marries some wealthy, handsome guy (sound familiar?) and is able to use his money to do what makes her happy.  I plan on becoming a shrink and I don't think I'm bad-looking, but I'm not going to let her set herself up for failure by holding such unrealistic standards, when at the end of the day, I might not be here anymore. 

Here's a quote by Simone de Beauvoir, an influential feminist activist, in response to Betty Friedan's comment that a woman who *wanted* to stay at ome and raise her children should have the right to make that choice:

"No, we don't believe that any woman should have this choice.  No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children.  Society should be totally different.  Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make it."

Sure, you could say that this is only one person, but this is the attitude of the LEADERS OF THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT.  Well, grrrls, thank feminism for taking that choice away from you.

I don't date the women that I describe.  No, I describe almost every single woman I see besides the ones I date.

You would have to have been living under a rock for the past 30 years to have been unaware of the major social shifts occuring in the structure and function of marriage, the family, and child rearing.

Ethical, caring, progressive men have few palatable choices in the mating game today. Culturally, fathers have been reduced to walking wallets. Men who want a real role in raising their children are confronted with the growing acceptance of single motherhood, with its inescapable implication of single fatherhood. As the battle for "wage parity" continues, gains in women’s income are often offset by the reduced numbers of men who outearn them and are thus considered "eligible."

Resource competition is reaching levels never even dreamed before. The entire notion of "necessity" has been redefined in two generations and very little which is regarded as essential today was even dreamed of by the generation that spanned the great depression and WW II. The notion of entitlements introduced during the 1930s to pull the nation out of the depression has fossilized into making the government the parent of all. Fathers are disposable as long as the mother has income from somewhere. Mothers are disposable because now we have "day care" and "quality" time.

I believe that Charlie Chaplin’s vision in "Modern Times" has become reality. Human beings have been mechanized just like industry and standardization has become the rule of success. Individuality, individual variation, and uniqueness have all succumbed to mass culture.

Since the 1960s, the focus in the realignment has been women’s roles and women’s issues. The movement which has spearheaded this effort has even had a feminine name. In fact, feminism literally is the ideology of the feminine.

Despite all the changes in women’s roles, the expectations within the culture were that men would continue to fulfill all their old duties. And, since the generation of men entering into the gauntlet that the mating years were to become were brought up expecting to do just that, the boomer generation for the most part tried to comply. However, the change in women’s roles has had such profound and lasting changes that men’s roles are in transition whether anyone likes it or not.

As the provider role falls by the wayside on the pilgrimmage to wage parity, and the disciplinarian role falls to the relentless efforts to uncover victims of abuse, men are faced with being criticized for what they were brought up to do. There has been deep and long standing bitter resentment of that by men. And the net effect on men raised after this vast social change will take decades to fully assess.

However, one effect is already beginning to become apparent and that is an awareness of just how expensive fertility has become. Particularly in the US, people accustomed to the highest living standard in the world are ripping and tearing at each other over the belief that the share of the wealth which they are receiving is not large enough. Having children and taking on the providing role means you have to take on the responsibility for providing them with ENOUGH. Remember, everyone wants to "HAVE IT ALL" these days. It’s not just "men against women", children are turning on their parents these days. Remember the Menendez brothers?

With so many obstacles and burdens to raising children, as opposed to simply becoming pregnant, it is something that men will begin to avoid with the same fervor that women have pursued birth control and such radical tactics as abortion. C4m, choice for men, is the legal equivalent to abortion. Male birth control pills are being tested. Men are challenging in court the rights of women to conceive and stick them with the bill.

We have reached the stage in polarization between the genders where the user of birth control now has to warrant its effectiveness.

The disruption in fertility patterns will soon shift from the generalized right to NOT reproduce, to certain more fundamental questions about the right TO reproduce. Based on cost alone, many will have to make the decision to not have children because they can’t afford them.

The primary question will end up being whether the sex drive can be successfully defined completely away from its history-long biological purpose - continuation of the species - into a new "social" mold. Can everything about us, from our bodies to our most basic drives, be simply redefined in semantic terms and become, like feminism, whatever we say it is?

I contend not.

The legal and cultural situation is forcing a reversal in some of the responsibilties of relationship initiation and maintenance. Men are being forced to take on the role of gatekeeper and deal with women who are very aggressive in pursuing sex. The crushing burdens of the current idealized father role and the legal risks posed by Sexual Harassment and Rape laws take a great deal of the attractiveness out of women in general.

Maleness, liking women, wanting to have sex with them, and fatherhood have all been criminalized. It is easy to tell what a culture is trying to stamp out by what it criminalizes. How boys and young men will respond is hard to predict. But they will doubtless react very differently from their fathers whose actions were criminalized after they commited them.

For the near future, at least, it seems that both men and women will need to adjust to unmated and childless lives. It is highly doubtful that government subsidies will be extended to children conceived through a sperm bank, at least not for very long if women continue to take on increased tax burdens as their income increases. As hard as the conservatives have fought to preserve it, the nuclear family looks like it is going into mothballs like nuclear arms.

What will replace it is anybody’s guess. And everybody is guessing. And the stakes for a wrong guess just keep getting higher.

The boomers were the straddle generation. They were born and socialized under the old ideas of family, even though they were already breaking down, then tried to make the transition to living under the new ones. The results were wildly mixed.

Now, the boomers are increasingly adopting singleness as a lifestyle and retiring from the gender armies to let the younger ones fight it out. The question is whether the young will keep on fighting it, or reject the gender war just like the boomers rejected the Vietnam war. Interestingly, I saw a boomer post on an NG titled "They’re turning on us." Well, that’s what we taught them.

I hope this turns out to be the case. Young men and women have inherited a legacy of hatred and distrust that will be hard to overcome. They have all been fed a lot of propaganda. I’m glad I grew up before all this started to happen. I don’t envy them the task.

One thing seems certain - that both genders will need to approach fertility in more cautious and planned ways. But certainly for men, exploration of alternatives to fatherhood will definitely need to be considered.

In the wake of radical feminism, it seems like it has taken a very long time for an equally radical and forceful masculism to develop. Both sides are now dealing from positions of defensiveness and anger.

And the sad truth is that, once out of the gauntlet of the child-bearing years, men and women DON’T really need each other for much of anything. The interdependency which has characterized the human race since its beginnings, whatever creation myth you subscribe to, between men and women has been severed. Young men are talking about their need to have "reproductive independence" from women.

I believe that the mere fact that the sexes are talking about "reproductive independence" from each other is clear indication that the human race is either getting ready to completely unravel, or follow Huxley’s model of the "Brave New World" and grow kids in test tubes and indoctrinate them in government run centers. Will humans make the next leap toward becoming machines? And over time will the distinction between human being and machine break down?

Yes, I admit I didn’t acknowledge your perspective there.  I apologize for not showing proper respect.

As far as what feminism has done so far, they’ve made divorce possible.  Not as in the concept, but the popularity of it.  In the older days, marriage was not about romance or chivalry or a good sex life or any of that.  It was about two complementary people who could carry on their bloodline and work together to survive.  That’s love- the REAL kind.  I don’t really recall divorce being a major part of most people’s lives before feminism came through, as well as man-bashing, double-standards, and the woman’s right to be verbally and maybe even physically abusive (bitch). 

I don’t believe there would be very many single mothers out there if marriage weren’t such a joke.

And...to reply concerning the deeper reason why I am with my girlfriend, I am a big nonconformist.  Unless I'm getting paid, I don't do things the 'right' way.  I do them the BEST way.  If I stink, I reach into my schoolbag and put on deodorant, no matter where I happen to be at the time.  I am firmly against all arbitrary rules and restrictions, because the rules are almost completely irrelevant to whatever might be of benefit or hazard.  I take life as it comes, and care only for what comes naturally.  I don't care in the slightest about social taboo, and unless it's either unnatural or unsanitary, I have no problem with doing something.  I hope someday, I will be able to get my girlfriend to understand that life is nowhere near as complicated as people think.  I don't believe that I fully understand the philosophy of life, but I am convinced that I know more about it than a good 98% of everyone else.  The knowledge and understanding of why life is the way it is, to be able to see behind the lies and motives of society is really something else to experience.  Although depressing at first, it later makes a person feel at peace with oneself, and then a more purified form of happiness is reached.  That's what I'm trying to do.

Ufortunately, I vehemently disagree with a good majority of this.  A man’s traditional power base is vertical, while a woman’s is horizontal.  This means that a man in power is noticed by all, but there are only a few and even their power is limited.  Women though, have power like wall-to-wall carpeting, impossible to avoid.  For example, men's style of sexual harassment is like a pushy salesman who won't take no for an answer (like a drunk guy at a bar), but a woman's style of high-volume sexual harassment is like a junk mailer who gives you no way to get off the mailing list (dressing in revealing clothing).  Go ahead and say that women aren't doing anything, but I believe that the majority of things said are not spoken.

The abuses by men are certainly a problem that needs to be dealt with, but what about the abuses by women?  Women are able to play the innocent game because of society’s view that women are fragile, weak, and passive.  I posted a letter somewhere on this board called ’Letter to the Mounties’ recently.  Maybe you should read it.  It might be in the 'abuse help' section.

Women dress themselves up for men and put on all that animal paste in the vain hope that it’ll make them more attractive.  Why is that a man’s fault?  Don’t say that the media or peer pressure is forcing you to, because if that’s the case, then everything is society’s fault, including prostitution, underage alcoholism, teenage pregnancy, and all of those other nasty little issues.  No, women who feel the need to put on makeup have nobody to blame but themselves.

You don’t say that blacks are criminals, ’cause most blacks don’t commit crimes, and you usually don’t say that teens are naive, since most teens aren’t, so why say that men rule the world?  Most men don’t.  Most men have just as much trouble in this world as women do, if not more.  Sure, women have to deal with makeup and perhaps miss a job in heavy lifting, or that whole rape factor, but everybody acts like men have it so well.  I’d be a stay-at-home father if I could, but I can’t.  I have to go out and make something of myself, because money won’t come from nowhere.  Women can stay at home, get a fulltime job like men do, can have a part-time job to help pay odds and ends, can actually get a career that makes them happy, when it doesn’t make much money, or they can simply not have a job or any responsibilities at all.  Men have fulltime jobs.  And people say that men have it so well.... ’thbpthpb!’

The way you speak of this all-female-land, why does it matter if you’re lesbians or not?  Sooner or later you will be, if the gender doesn’t die first.  We are supposed to be equal but different.  I just can’t understand how two groups, who have so much to offer one another would dismiss each other so easily.

You’re right, some females do not want to meet men.  Just remember though, the opposite is true too.  Instead of the male world being nothing but assholes, there are millions of ethical and caring men out there, who have made a happy life without women, and have no intention of spending their time with them.  Remember, grrrls, you’re the one who started this gender separatist idea, and when you decided to dismiss all men, you didn’t only dismiss the bad ones.  Men no longer have a place in your world, nor you in theirs.  I hope you don’t get lonely, but I won’t be holding my breath.

Ah, the rape stats.  Nobody ever stops to think that men aren’t allowed to play the victim in society.  They have to be ’tough’ or whatever.  Women think that 10% of rapes being reported is low?!?!  I wonder what the percentage would be for men....hmm....

Go ahead and say that men not speaking out is their fault alone.  After all, I don’t want to apply a double standard.  But, when women speak out, or defy society, what do they have to lose?  What, an occasional date or maybe some other lesser indignity?  Men can lose everything, if they aren’t ’manly’.  If my boss were to see me as feminine, I highly doubt I’d be put in a position above the others.  Whenever you try to bash men with some stereotype, I bet it’ll sound almost just as logical if you add ’wo’ to it first.

See, this is why I don't go to church.  This is why I hate the socially implanted need for significance so much.  The majority of problems all throughout history were all started because some person just HAD to be heard, or just HAD to go out with a bang.  Everybody thinks that they're significant, and to confirm their 'significance', they would do shit like that and completely ruin a once holy and sacred perspective.  Oh how I hate the church so...

I am a Christian, but I don't have the Christian perspective, according to society anyway.  I'm uncertain of this, and haven't done much study in the field yet, but I believe that Mother Earth and Father Spirit (Time, Sky, whatever) are the two complimentary beings that create existence as we know it.  The Father is the driving force, the one who construes all of this wonder, and the Mother brings it all to life.  When I say 'Mother Earth', though, I'm not necessarily talking about Earth itself.  I'm more referring to the entire physical spectrum. 

It's not necessarily the church, but the eccentric need for significance that the religious authorities decided to demand be met.  It just happened to be the church this time, is all.

This came from a guy who I believe is castrated now, if I’m right about the metaphors he used.  I’m hoping that somebody will listen to this, or at least reply, but I guess sometimes that doesn’t happen.  Hopefully women out there will see more perspectives than their own, but I won’t be holding my breath.  Enjoy.

I have 2 female friends and both of these women have been friends since they were young girls so they have had their friendship for nearly 40yrs or so. I will call them A and B.

A has 2 daughters from a former relationship and B has 3 daughters from her former relationship. All of the girls are now young adults with the exception of B's youngest girl who is 15 and still living at home.

Neither of these women married the fathers of their childen. As A stated to me, marriage is just a 'piece of paper'.

What has happened is that for whatever reasons, both of these women seperated from the fathers of their kids and raised their children alone (with the financial assistance of the government of course).

Once these women found themselves alone after all but one of the girls had left their mothers homes, the women found themselves lonely. They decided to do something about this and joined an internet dating group.

Both have their profiles on there and both were hit on by many, many men. They had their photos posted as well, so the guys could see what they looked like. The trouble is, that the photos they posted were old photos of themselves and in A's case, an unclear photo which showed her to be much more attractive than what she really is in person. I speak of the physical aspect only. At this stage, I had not seen the photos or what they had written in their profiles.

A met a guy through this site and was really attracted to him and after a few weeks, flew to where this guy lived to meet him. That in itself told me how desperate she was to 'catch a man' because in my experience, women will only fly and incur personal expenses if the guy pays, but she paid for her trip out of her own pocket.

When she got to his city, he was there to meet her and didn't recognise her although she recognised him. Apparently, when she introduced herself, he sort of said hello, and took her to his car. She complained that he didn't carry he bag and she had to lift her luggage into the trunk of his car too.

She told me that the conversation was very limited, and at his place where she stayed that night, he just gave her leftovers that were in the fridge, not the promised home cooked Italian meal he promised and hardly spoke with her. She slept in the spare room and the guy didn't make a move on her at all. He went to bed early and she was left to watch TV by herself. The next day, she left his place and went and stayed with a friend who lived in the same city and then returned home on the Sunday evening, completely pissed off and disappointed with men.

After listening to her story, I was shocked that a guy could have treated her that way, and asked to see her profile that she had posted. Remember guys, this is the profile that attracted this guy in the first place.

When I saw her profile, it was nothing untrue, but of course, we can never judge whether a persons stated goals and dreams are true or untrue, but her photo os what took my eye. It was an old photo of her which didn't look anything like she looks now. She was younger in the pic and of course, she was very well dressed up in evening gown and with the aid of makeup, looked good in the pic. It didn't show her big fat ass.

I told her that in my opinion, she was misleading guys by posting that pic of herself and not a more recent pic which is clearer. I clearly told her that the guy concerned had posted a very clear and recent pic of himself and she had an excellent idea of what he looked like, this is why she recognised him at the airport, but he would never have recognised her in a million years because her pic was misleading. She couldn't get it into her head that the pic of her didn't look like her as she is now.

When we had our 'girls' pity party, she stated that the guy must have been gay or something because he didn't even try any moves on her. When I pointed out to her that men are much more visually attracted than women are, she dismissed that as an example of mens 'shallowness'. 'A' completely dismissed the fact that just because a woman makes herself available sexually to a man, he is not obligated to take her up on her offer or availability. She just expected that because she had made herself available, that this guy was expected to 'do it' with her.

She went on to criticise the fact that he 'must have a small dick anyway' and other similar comments. She attacked the guys character and sexuality simply because he was not interested in her once he met her in real life, and the reason he was apparently not interested in her was because she posted a misleading photo of herself which made her look more attractive than what she actually is.

Her and her friend B then ambarked on a campaign of harrassment via the internet with this guy using a photo of a much younger woman who looked very attractive, and of course, a made up ID and profile. It wasn't just this guy that was dragged into their web of deceipt either. Many guys were responding to their vindictiveness. The photo they used and the profile was mildly sexually suggestive and of course, drew responses from guys that were also of a sexual nature. They concluded that men were just after one thing and that all guys were jerks!

Well, I bit the bullet and sat down with both of them and clearly told them that they are now middle aged women and that they need more than sex to attract a guy. I told them that they no longer have the 'pulling power' that they had as attractive young women and that their values had significantly decreased sine they were young and attractive. They couldn't comprehend this at all. They just couldn't understand that women are like used cars....the older they are and the more milage they have on them, the lower their value.

I eventually asked them if they would pay the same price for a lb of old potatos as they would pay for a lb of freshly dug new potatos? They both said 'no, of course not, the old potatos are cheaper', and I told them that it is the same with women....a man won't pay the same price for an older woman as he will pay for a fresh young new one. They were shocked that men could think this way.

The above story clearly illustrates how women have completely lost sight of the ball and have such stupid expectations of men. They seem to have no idea of how the aging process makes men more discrimatory in relation to who they have sex with and that for some guys, jerking off is preferable to sticking their dicks into some old, well worn floppy cunt.

Until the women wake up to the reality of life, and mens lives in particular, they will not have good lives because they think of themselves first and foremost, and everyone else runs a distant second.

What I have also noticed is that since I joined their team, they seem to think that I have acquired more knowledge or wisdom once my dick was chopped off. Previously, I was dismessed as a 'mere male' when I said things to women about the way things really are for men, but now, they listen to me and ask me about mens lives. They sort of expect that I have secrets to tell, but in reality, there are no secrets....it's just that women don't listen to men and if they do listen, they dismiss mens thoughts, feelings and concerns etc as unworthy of their consideration.

Women are actually quite surprised that sex is not all men are interested in, and until they can understand this, they will always have trouble with their relationships with men. Too many women use their cunts as ATM's but forget that to make continual withdrawls, they sometimes have to make sufficient deposits too.

I'm having flashbacks of my childhood right now, and if you have read my other posts as far as my childhood goes, you'd assume this post is about my mother's violent ex-boyfriend.  No, this isn't about him.  My mother...even though she seems to have her life as a decent one now, I can't help recalling the psychic torture I went through.  I can't stop remembering what that woman did to me...

I see posts here all the time about the strength and purity of mothers.  The innocence of mothers, or the power of a single mother and how they're so great because of their ability to tolerate what that bad, bad man did to them.  Whooee, any mother who is single sure is the prime example of integrity and dedication towards the well-being of her children.  Everytime I hear somebody say it, one word involuntarily pops into my head every single time-'Bullshit'.  This is part two of my childhood, and the reason why I will never again fall for the lie that women are pure and just.

My earliest memory was when I was two years old, and was in an apartment complex.  My eyesight was just as good back then as it is now (far above average) and I recall my mother in a bed with a man who was not her alleged boyfriend of the time.

Age 4, I was in preschool and got into a fight with another kid, and after slamming his head onto the bookshelf edge, he bit into my upper arm, leaving a good scattered square inch of the majority of layers of skin ripped off.  Pretty big owie, it was.  What did my mother do?  A band-aid, was all.  Nowadays I probably wouldn't even get a band-aid, but it would've been nice to have at least a hug.

Age 7, my mother's new boyfriend (the violent one was in prison) introduced me to the magical new world of video pornography.  I wasn't bothered at all though, but it just shows the lack of attention my mother showed.

My mother's contempt for me mostly lies dormant, but every now and then it resurfaces.  I was once beaten with a thin stick repeatedly until my swollen welts were red and bleeding, for losing a shirt.  A shirt that couldn't be worth more than $3, it was.

The majority of things she did to me were either too subtle to point out or were more symbolic of the attitude that she had hanging in the air.  I remember though, something that she said to me, while I was playing a video game, and she was in another episode of binge drinking.

I hope that someday I will be able to forgive her for what she has done, but I know that she'd do it all again if put in the circumstances again.  Until I'm certain that she is a different person, which is very unlikely, a small part of me will always hate her with a hatred too powerful to even understand.  I will never forget the words, "I can't believe I went through the pain of childbirth to give birth to a piece of shit like you".  8-year-olds aren't supposed to hear that, are they?

Perhaps it is advice like that which drives the good, ethical, committed men to a life without women.  I sure wouldn't want to spend my life with a woman who thought of me that way.  I refuse to even positively regard a woman who thinks of me as sub-human.  In some of these replies, I am only reflecting the malice of the posts.

1.  The same can be applied to women.

2.  I can't think of any man who would do that to his girlfriend unless she was being greedy or abusive.

3.  One word, misandry.

4.  My IQ is 126.

5.  I'm more mature than any woman I know. 

6.  The only reason why men appear to be the same is because women are too passive in the dating game to go look for the good ones.

7.  Definition of a bachelorette:  a woman who has only encountered men who would like nothing more than to keep their self-esteem.

8.  Men don't make fools of themselves - feminism has made everything male look stupid.

9.  Yes, that one might be true, but the same applies to women.

10. Yep, for guys too.

11. If you want a woman who won't crush your dignity, take some Prozac and go to sleep.  Sweet dreams.

12. As biased as that is, even if it were true, why don't women ask for directions?

13. Well see, that sure doesn't make men think that women are only thinking of one thing.  Nosiree. 

14. Remember, if women laugh at your jokes it means that they're only after one thing.

15. Sadly, women are too shallow to see that nothing is ever equal.

This is just me, but if he tells you that he loves you right before marrying someone else, he probably isn’t to be trusted.  Either he’s a total loser who is just trying to win you over, or he’s gone insane and has lost all touch with both what he wants and needs.  Take your pick.

Either way, it's not wise to stay involved with him, and legal action might even be necessary.

I blame feminism.  I know it seems like I blame feminism for a lot of things, but we never had this gender war until it came along.  It was once a great thing, and they got equal opportunity for women, just like they fought for.  The feminazis, though, were the leaders of this movement.  They hated men and all things male.  They were the ones who suggested killing off the male half of the population.  They may be a bad example, but they are the leaders of feminism nonetheless.  Anybody who associates themselves with feminism condones this violence.  I could go on and on about reasons why feminism is mainly responsible for this issue, but I won’t do that right now.  I have other matters to take care of. 

Before I go though, I am going to say that it might have something to do with feminist Gloria Steinam's famous quote, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle".  Think about it.

I'm still hurting from a breakup 6 months ago.  She hates me because I told her that if she stays selfish and immature like she is, she will die alone.  She dumped me to begin with for reasons which she didn't specify, but I believe it was because I wouldn't change my religion for her.  I'm still a little bitter about it, but I am really trying to move on.  I've just never been good at hating though, for the sake of the ones that I care about.

I eventually would cut off my emotions, and would have a long time ago if my gf hadn't told me she loved me.  She's a great person, and I am not going to let my spirit go cold.  She doesn't deserve to be hurt like that.  I'm just going to sit and wait until this girl gets bored with the tedium that is me, as I'm sure will happen soon, and she'll dump me, just like the others have.  I'm not letting my guard down this time.  Hmm, maybe I already have cut off my emotions a bit...

Um, something just occurred to me.  If nobody is bothered by this, can any ladies suggest foods that might, um, help that particular flavor? 

I wasn't aware of any sexual odors coming from foods up until I read all this, so, well yeah you get the idea.  Any particular foods that are good?

I bet I can solve this, and I’ll try my best to explain it thoroughly.

In Christianity, the Virgin Mary was only 13 or 14 when she gave birth to Jesus.  In the medieval age, 17 year old women were married to men in their 40’s.  Although I don’t get why, it’s apparent that since it was allowed, that it might’ve been acceptable back then.

Now, in a more relevant context, and forgive me for the way I say this, but younger women are just simply less baggage than older women.  An older woman can’t simply rely on her looks anymore if she wants to attract as many men as she used to.  Youth has tight skin, and elderly don’t.  Youth have no high mileage, while elderly are most likely bitter.  Youth are most likely virgin, or at least inexperienced.  Elderly are....well, loose.  

Men are more visual than women, and I know that it’s probably a tough pill to swallow, but that’s just the way it is.  You’re gonna have to offer more than just your appearance if you want to keep his attention.  I don’t really know what you can offer right now, since I’m still in my teens.  I don’t know what an older man wants.

People are like cars.  As one gets older, their value goes down.  I'll refer to outer appearance as the same on a car, I'll refer to power and endurance as sex quality.  That all usually goes down in value as the cars get older.  Unless there is something else you can offer, your value will stay low.  If you can offer something, though, you will be just as valuable as you were before, like an antique.  They're usually worth a lot.

Someone here might take this personally because I'm saying something they don't want to hear or that I'm comparing people to cars.  Yes, complain about how insensitive I am, but there is no nice way to give bad news.  No matter how hard this pill may be to swallow, am I wrong?  I think not.

I am just at a point where I can no longer just sit idly by while everybody and their mother praises single mothers for being single and taking care of their children while the bad, bad man ditched them and went elsewhere.  Speaking of which, I just remembered something regarding that.

My father wanted to be an active part of my life.  My parents broke up when I was 3 (I say it that way because they were never married), and as expected by this corrupt American court system, my mother got custody of me.  She got the violent ex soon after.  My father was allowed to visit me every other weekend, and we could go somewhere or sleep over his place or do some other fun stuff.  Whenever my dad came to get me, my mother would call the police.  Even when it was his weekend, she would call the police.  I would go for months at a time without seeing my father.  She finally lost custody of me to him when I was 7 years old, due to her obvious alcoholism.  She saw me every other weekend until I was 12.  I was arrested 3 days before my 13th birthday (and no, I'm not saying why).  I got out of prison (don't assume it was juvie; IT WAS A REAL PRISON) at age 15, and by that point, she had her life back on track.  Yay.

This might not have happened if it weren't for feminism.  My mother might not have built up the nerve to slam a car door on my father's leg while he was talking to her.  She might not have been given the idea that it's okay for women to be violent.  The majority of women seem to think the same, and so I can't help feeling at least a little bitter toward them.  Some women may not be like my mother, but it doesn't matter to me.  With the exception of (I'm estimating) 1 out of 100,000, I blame ALL women for the excesses of feminism.  They may not have actively participated, but they were quite content to sit back and enjoy the benefits while their fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons were being shat upon.  I cannot accurately describe the rage I feel toward American women .  I have a good, honest, and caring girlfriend right now, but I'm not even certain that I'll be able to trust her that way I once trusted women.  It hurts me because I know she doesn't deserve that.

This is why I am active here.  My reason for coming to this site to begin with was to perhaps understand why my ex hates me so.  My reason for staying, though, is because I will no longer sit back and tolerate the misandry that most women tend to dish out.  I won't take that shit any longer.  I am going to defend men with an open mind, and I will see to it that there is more than just one perspective on a story.  Once again, misogynists are not born; they are made.

To cheatersSUCK

I’m aware of what the original post meant, but I guess I felt the need to point out the reason why younger women are attractive.  Regarding your second issue though, I hate child molesters.  Anybody with a shred of decency does.  I don’t hate pedophiles though.  I know one.  He clearly states that he is attracted towards girls around 12 to 14.  It is a desire or preference to him, just like homosexuality would be.  He says that he indeed does have sexual fantasies about them.  However, his fantasies are not the cause of his attraction, they are the consequence of it.  He knows that this society won’t allow him to ever live out his preference, so he keeps it hidden, and doesn’t look at child porn or any of that.  I respect the guy, but that’s just me.  If anybody takes advantage of anybody else, I despise them.  It doesn’t matter to me how old the person is or how old the victim is.

To HHNF

None of that matches me, really.  I’m sure it does for a few, but I’m not.  I may be inexperienced, but that is all.  I refuse to please someone who won’t please me just as much.  That doesn’t have as much to do with quality as it does to do with effort. 

I refer it to me because I can't very well anticipate the minds of the other members

Thought somebody would like this.  I hate double-standards, so I decided to post it.  Enjoy.

Two blonde MEN are in Australia.

One blonde asks the other:

"Which is further, London or the Moon?"

The other replies:

"HELLOOOOO, can you see London from here?????!!!!!"

I think people are under the impression that I don't want to or that I'm afraid to try opening up again.  I want to have the feelings I once had.  I just can't get them though.  It's just not there.  It's dead.  You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber.

I really hope I'm not a pickle, but I won't be holding my breath. 

I don't believe that anybody has 'all' the power.  Men have had the power of finance, in the ability to provide and protect.  Women have had the power of sex, in the sense that there'd be a brood to provide to.  A woman without a man is like a man without a woman.  Neither amounts to much.

The issue I was raising was that women have learned of their power, and most have decided to abuse it.  Because there was an artificial shortage created by women in this field, women have merely become overpriced luxury products that few can afford, let alone want.  They felt 'entitlement' to every single thing in the world.  They began to ration sex as if it were some sort of treat or reward.  It's a shame that people could turn something so natural and beautiful into simple currency.

Male power is vertical, like a few monumental positions.  Although they can be seen from all directions, they really aren't all that influential.  Female power is horizontal, like wall-to-wall carpeting, impossible to avoid.  It's so subtle that most don't ever even notice it, and this is what the feminists began to take advantage of.  As long as they can keep up the facade that they have no power, nobody can call them on how they misuse it. 

I can only think of two reasons why a woman would think that she can't find a better man than the asshole. 

The first one is that the woman has become so destroyed inside and self-esteem shattered so much that they are confused as to what their potential may be. 

The second one is a little more in-depth.  A woman in this relationship is a little more open-minded and philosophical in the world and she starts to wonder if perhaps the man has a good reason to say what he says.  Too often people only focus on the woman's perspective.  (You'll find this everywhere, but particularly in the media.  Next time you watch a movie, when a girl and her boyfriend have an argument, the audience immediately sides with the woman.  It doesn't matter whether or not the guy had a good reason to be mad at her; he's wrong either way.)  I did this once, and started to doubt my ability to find someone better than who I was once with.  Perhaps the woman sees the real flaws in her character and maybe finally understands why a guy might not take her. 

And um, on a more personal note, I'm really hoping that when you said "princess" that it was mere hyperbole.  Every single woman I've ever met who was addicted to that name was, without a doubt, the epitome of selfishness and arrogance.  If it was a serious thing for you, perhaps you should reconsider your standards.  This princess syndrome has gotten women to make themselves unaffordable to most men.  Indeed, it is the worst character flaw that anybody wanting a good relationship can have.  I'm not trying to be offensive, but am I wrong?

Ah, I see.  When you said you were still going to be treated like a princess, I was under the impression that you were going to get somebody else to do it, since an overwhelming majority of the women in this country are like that.

That aside, I fully agree with what you posted.  Although in my case it's more of a self-hate than anything else, your post is still correct and reliable. 

Sometimes burning incense and listening to Radiohead helps too.  That song 'Creep' helps me get through the majority of my days...

In truth, I only eat when I'm bored.

http://www.i-mockery.com is a good site, and I go to it every now and then.  If you’re interested in video gaming or eccentric activities then this is a site to visit. 

http://www.killfrog.com is a hillarious site if you enjoy things out-of-the-ordinary.  No, the site has nothing to do with killing frogs.  I like the drawing style too.  It's similar to the style I use.  Full of cool flash cartoons and games, it's definitely a place to relieve stress.

http://www.ogrish.com Can you handle life?  This is a news site dedicated to the type of news that CNN isn't allowed to show.  If you think that such a site can make you uneasy, don't go here.  Rather sad stuff, it is.

I think you misunderstand.  Great is your misunderstanding.  You're under the impression that sitting here and venting is all that we do.  Besides my relationship with my girlfriend, I am a student, a philosopher, a swordsman, an artist, and many other things.  When I'm not either at school, with my girlfriend or at work, I either come here or I further my studies and working towards proving that God exists.  You are in no position to jump in this forum and on your first day as a member, assume that you know us from the inside out.  I suggest you learn a little bit more about the other members before you decide again to assume that relationships with the opposite sex are all that we worry about.

You remind me a bit of some other people that I know.  They are convinced that, well, anybody who doesn't do what they do or have exciting, cinema-like lifestyles doesn't have a 'life'.  Exactly what is a 'life' to you?

In something I posted a while back, I pointed out that perhaps, eventually the line between human and machine will fade.  This is a good example of the attitude I was talking about.  Although your post seems positive and happy and all that, are you really assuming that you'll meet the perfect man for you?  It both shocks and depresses me a bit to see people who think this way.  Currently, I am under the impression that you're one of those women who stays with a man until somebody better comes along.  Perhaps you should wonder if maybe good, caring, ethical men are no longer around because of the man-jumping that you seem to do.  I mean, that's really all I can assume about your character since you're on the search for Mr. Perfect.  You will never meet the perfect man for yourself if you don't lower your standards, just a bit. 

And...I have to wonder why you posted in the "Men's Area".  Were you suggesting that perhaps it's only men who need to get a life?  Perhaps any man who vents his feelings are supposed to just shut up and sit down?  Haha, and after stuff like that, women claim that men won't communicate.  I wonder why.

Perhaps I'm overanalyzing your post, but from what I can see, it seems that you have much to learn before you'll find the perfect man for you.  You'll someday have to realize that perhaps you will be your biggest obstable to overcome.  Sadly, most women never see that.  The future looks bad for those who want to meet the one just for them.

Haven't been to this post for a while.  Guess I missed out on a lot.  Right now, I'm in a bit of shock, so there isn't much I can say.  I guess all I can say is that I am certain that you will die depressed and alone.  One can die happy without a man in her life, but one cannot die happy when she hates as much as you do.

cheatersSUCK, I'm 17 years old, and as of yet, have no kids.  Thanks for the compliment though.  It really brightens my day when people don't look at me as a 'stupid, confused' teenager.

Feminism started in the US, when (this is my opinion) some women got jealous of the way men had their lifestyles.  It was the wife of a rich man who started this movement, seeing him bringing home all the money that he did, and she got the desire for that kind of financial power.  That’s my guess on the whole thing.  If I were older I might have more insight into it, but as things stand now, I can only rely on hearsay and textbooks.

In the medieval age, romance was defined as, "a form of literature commonly read by the nobles and aristocracy".  It takes an eye for detail to notice, but this textbook definition is the key to the double-standards and unrealistic expectations that men have to deal with.  ROMANCE WAS SO UNATTAINABLE AND UNREALISTIC THAT EVEN THE ARISTOCRACY COULD ONLY FANTASIZE ABOUT IT.  Therein lies the key to it all.  Not even the richest in all the land could live up to the stories of the great and chivalrous.  What makes women think that the average man can do it? 

The feminazi shockwave is starting to crumble Eastern Society as well.  It’s not quite as bad as it is here in the US, but it will get there soon enough.  It can’t last forever though.  Feminism is like the Bolshevik (if that’s how it’s spelled) legacy in Russia a while ago.  They abused the plant life, demanded much when there was no supply, and the vegetation got back at them the worst way they possibly could- they died.  In the same sense, the ’modern’ women will be retaliated upon in the worst possibly way men can do it- by not loving them anymore.  I think I might be a good example.  Although I’m only 17, my eyes have been opened to the injustices that Feminism has caused, and if I didn’t have the sweet, caring girlfriend that I have now, I might be happy to be alone.  My anticipation is that she’ll get bored with how ’unromantic’ or ’inspontaneous’ I am and she’ll dump me, just like every other woman has done.  Then I can finally get castrated!  Yay!

Forgive me for going off topic there.  I’m just kind of in an emotional rut right now.  Have been for a while.  Anyway, I’m sure the feminazi shockwave will hit your area hard soon enough.  Oh, and thanks for the compliment up top.  It's nice to be complimented by those older than me. 

UK versus Feminism... Coming soon to a society near you!

These are issues derived from a book I've been reading on the feminazi plague.

The Foundation of Female Power:
Women's Superiority Complex

 Though they deny it as much as they can, women know they have a lot of power over us.  One way they rationalize it is by believing they're better than we are.  Since women think they're better, they think they have the right-even the sacred duty-to keep us under their control.
 The women's movement has helped men examine our attitudes of superiority over women.  Now women need to look at how they think they're superior to us.
 The idea of Female Superiority goes way back.  Dr. John Gordon, a professor of English at Connecticut College, says that in the 1800's anti-male novels and anti-male tracts (thousands of them) 'were part of a campaign to represent men as barbarians whose urges had to be leashed in by the forces of decency (women) if civilization were to survive'. 

Any man would be damaged by the allegation that 'he doesn't respect women.'  Why is it so hard to imagine that any woman would be hurt by the charge that 'she doesn't respect men'?

If young men were being drafted and killed, and the President said that as a sign of peace all young women would wear flowers in their hair, even for just one day, women would say "Wear flowers in our hair?  We will not!  That's sexist!"

Young men are subject to the military draft in case of national military emergencies.  Why aren't young women being drafted now to alleviate the day care crisis?  Is one idea sexist and the other not?

Imagine a migrant farm worker in a steamy bunkhouse with a broken fan.  Imagine a guest in a luxury hotel whose air conditioning isn't working just right.  Who is more likely to complain?  Who has more to complain about?  Sometimes a complain tells us more about the expectations of the complainer than the real circumstances the complainer is in.

 Recently I had a conversation with a group of women in which I said that women generally seem to do a much better job of sticking together than men do.  I wasn't asking for a reason or cause.  I wanted to talk about the effect.  But the women didn't want to talk about that.  They immediately got defensive and threw out a reason, almost like a roadblock.  The reason that women stick together, they said, was "because we have to."
 The clear implication was that if women don't stick together we bad and powerful men will take advantage of them since they're so good and powerless.  By pretending to be powerless and by pretending to act only in reaction of what we do to them, women irresponsibly free themselves to do whatever they want to us and not feel bad about the offenses they commit.
 We have to stop allowing them to pretend to be powerless.  We have to insist that they talk about effects as well as causes, and about causes other than the ones they want us to accept.

The Power of Shame

Boys grow up learning they're not sugar, not spice, not anything nice.

In western culture we picture women right below the angels, and men just above the animals.

Women's whole tired toilet seat harangue is all about shame and control.  What would you think of a man who got haughty and belittling every time his wife failed to return the driver's seat to his preferred position after she finished using the family car?

When you hear women joking that men suffer from "Testosterone Poisoning," remind them that similarly shallow and sexist ideas led the ancient Greeks to coin the term 'hysteria' from their word for the uterus.

"Testosterone may not be the dread 'hormone of aggression' that research and the popular imagination have long had it...If anything, testosterone may be a source of very different sensations: calmness, happiness, and friendliness, for example....Researchers said that...men....who.... were low in testosterone described feelings of edginess, anger, irritability, aggression...Some studies even indicate another improbably source of aggression: estrogen.  Yes, the gal hormone.
-New York Times, June 20, 1995

New research suggests that popular opinion has the relationship between testosterone and conflict completely backward.  It appears that testosterone levels might go up temporarily higher as a result of conflict, as a boost to confidence and effectiveness in an upcoming struggle, rather than as a cause of that conflict and struggle.  Boys who are exposed to a lot of stresss and conflict have higher levels of testosterone than they do when they are restored to a peaceful, secure environment.

The Power of Sex

Women laugh at us when studies show that we think of sex several times per hour.  We could get a bigger laugh if anyone ever did a study on how often women think of being sexy.

Why do we have trouble relation to 'the powerlessness of women' whenever we see the cover of Cosmopolitan?

Erotica does not glorify our sexual domination of women.  It expresses our wish that women didn't have sexual domination over us.

 When we misuse our economic power over women, women legitimately react in ways we don't always like.  One of those ways is to fantasize that they have achieved power over us.  In the movie 9 to 5, for instance, three women laugh merrily about how they'd like to get violent revenge against their chauvanistic male boss.  In the end, the trio settles for humiliation and subduing him in a dog collar and chains.
 No one could reasonably say that 9 to 5 glorifies women's domination of men in business.  It is precisely because women don't dominate men in business that the fantasy is popular with women who wish they did.
 Similarly, "pornography" does not glorify our sexual domination of women.  It expresses our fantasies of overcoming women's sexual domination of us.  The fact that 9 to 5 and some of our erotica both involve people in dog collars and chains is not mere coincidence.
 What's more, some of our most popular sexual fantasies aren't about reversing sexual control at all, but are simply about equalizing it, about meeting women who participate enthusiastically in sex, who love male sexuality, and who don't hold out for money, dinner or furs.  Portrayals of such egalitarian sex don't demean women any more than we are denigrated by stories of women and men working cooperatively in an office where men no longer think it is their right to have women fetch them coffee.

"The one thing never depicted in a pornographic fil is a woman criticising her lover or demanding something different from him"
-therapist Terrence Real in his 1997 book 'I don't want to talk about it':  Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

I guess I'll stop here for now.  I love this book.

I'm still in high school, so no degrees for me yet.  As far as theories go, I really don't know if I can stop or even slow down.  It just makes so much sense to me that I can't possibly see it another way.  Someone may call me closed-minded for this but at least I have realistic statistics to back me up.

And...as far as insanity goes, well...I think I passed that line a long time ago.  Well, relatively anyway.  I don't belong in a lunatic asylum but I'm commonly referred to as 'insane' for enjoying the things that I do. 

The toilet seat issue doesn't bother me.  I instinctively put the seat back down after using it.  This is all random stuff from the book, not from me.  I like the book because it shows that there is at least one person out there besides me who is an anti-feminist.  Note that I didn't say anti-FEMALE, but anti-feminist. 

As far as the victim role goes, I'm not playing such.  It only appears to be so because I seem to be the only one who is so greatly dissatisfied with the prejudices and double-standards of society.  I am the only one who thinks that this world could be better, but only through major changes in perspective.  I am an advocate for change, not a victim.  If I were playing victim, I would always complain about things, and never try to solve them.  That might not be true though, if I were to come to a women's website and do my best to make sure that judgment is fair.

You might be under the impression that the the true goal of feminism is also the alleged one, but it isn’t.  Though feminists will never want to admit it, equal rights between the sexes isn’t always the same as more rights for women.  They had no intention of dealing with any injustice or unfairness that males had to endure, simply for being male.  It was only women and some brainwashed men, looking out for other women.  That’s feminism in a nutshell.  Is that what they accomplished?  I’d like to think so. 

Feminism raised most women to be selfish and demand more than what was in supply.  For example, I can think of ten women I know right now who want to become something that makes lots of money, but I can’t count any out of those ten who are content with marrying someone who makes less money than they do.  I can’t imagine the possibility of a female doctor marrying a male nurse or poet struggling to get by.  Can you?

I dunno about the opinions of other men, but a bitch to me is a woman who is abusive.  A whore is someone who is sexually promiscuous, but shows no regard for the well-being of either themselves or their partner(s).

My grandparents are getting divorced because of insurance and money problems, even though neither one is a parasite of it.  I think if it were 50 years earlier, divorce wouldn’t have even crossed their minds.  Feminism did destroy marriage, just as it set out to do.  Yes, that was one of the feminists’ goals.  I can easily argue it, because it happened, and feminist leaders said it would. 

It didn’t succeed fully, as you said, but it certainly did a significant job.  They got women the life options that they wanted and yet, men still have to work fulltime or society calls them ’unmanly’.  Women can have abortions solely on their own discretion and yet, men are called deadbeat for not wanting the kid.  Women have gotten extensive treatment on 'feminine health' issues, and yet men's health is ignored.  The feminist-corrupted government talks about their health and totally ignores the fact that men die six years younger.  Some say that it's because of the male chromosome and there's nothing that can be done about it.  I can't imagine anybody that would be so cold as to say that the reason why women get breast cancer is that they have breasts and there is nothing to be done about it.  I'm all for equality, but feminism doesn't want that.  There's a reason why it's called feminism, and I've finally figured out why.

I'm not the only one who is like this.  I just happen to be the only one here who is like this.  I regularly meet other people with the same goals as I have.  I'm not alone.

I know that women were plenty violent before feminism came along, but now that feminism is here, the violence has increased due to lack of punishment or consequence.  As for violence statistics, let's look at the situation as it might be if men spoke up about being abused.  Let's factor in the men who are slapped, punched, and shoved for saying something a woman doesn't like.  Let's factor in the men who have limbs slammed on car doors simply for being someone the woman doesn't like.  Let's factor in the series of shirts and magnets that say, "boys are stupid; throw rocks at them!"  Is the woman's statistic lower?  Probably not. 

As far as my girlfriend goes, what can I do about it?  There's more to this story than I've said, but I'll post it on a more relevant topic later on. 

As for now, time to sleep.

I apologize for not addressing that male side of the issue before.  I was sleepy and must've overlooked it.  Sounds convienent, but no, it's true. 

Why is it that if a girl sleeps with a guy on the first date, she’s called a "whore" but if a guy does  it, he is congratulated by his peers?

It’s because of the alleged ’innocence’ and ’purity’ that women are expected to maintain.  I’ve said many a time that women aren’t ’pure’ or ’innocent’ or ’special’.  Do you think that feminism is the only part of society I hate?  It’s really not.  I’m just so openly against feminism because it is the source for the majority of double-standards we have reagarding the sexes.

Why is it that if you push back at work to protect your team from getting slammed by projects that you’re called a "bitch" but if a man does it, he’s "just doing his job"?

It might have something to do with the belief that  you shouldn’t be in that line of work to begin with.  I have nothing against women in the workforce, but some men do.  I agree that it’s about time they got their head out of the sand, and I say so quite a bit outside of this forum.  Seeing as how this is a forum for women, what good would it do to say how some men’s minds are messed up?  Certainly this could be a place to talk about it, but I’m for action, not talk. 

Take circumstances into consideration before assuming that my character has bias. 

Society was created to serve its citizens, not the other way around.  I've noticed how it now focuses on what is 'right', rather than what is best.  It focuses on what is most productive, rather than what makes people happy.  Feminism did this when they decided that women who stayed at home were 'oppressed' by the Patriarchy.

As far as the sexes go, the other half to the problem is that people still cling to their traditional roles.  People might be a bit happier if they didn't have two separate sets of standards to live by.  I live in the new world, because I know that women can do the things men can do.  Perhaps someday people will realize that the converse is true as well, and ethical men won't be ashamed to stay at home with the kids.  People say that men can do that anyway, but it just doesn't work that way.  This method of encouragement is like filling a bedroom full of landmines and bear traps and saying, 'go on, nothing bad is going to happen'.  In short, most men know that as soon as they take on the 'motherly' role as people have been encouraging them to do, they will get harassed and ridiculed and lose all the respect and dignity they once had.  He's a manly man.  He has to be.

I didn’t know anybody here had the nerve to ask such a question.  I think I’d stay male since my biological clock is starting to die. 

Um, and wounded, if a man loves you, he always will love you. It may not be the type where he’d want you back, but I’m certain that you’ll always be in his heart, and depending on how happy he was during the time you were together, you will mean that much to him.  Yay, I actually have life experience somewhere to credit myself with!

Nonononononononono....that's not what I meant at all!  I'm glad we're open-minded enough to talk about stuff like that!  I hope you didn't edit it out....   Anyway, this is a place to vent and offer support.  If we're so rigid with protocol and the like that we can't even handle a fun and thought-provoking question like that one we shouldn't have enough pride to assume that we can give meaningful advice.

I only said that I was surprised because for a second I was under the impression that we were too tense and uncomfortable to do so.

I wasn't offended.  I liked the question. 

I'd most likely stay male.  I'd want to be female for like a day or two to find out what a woman might enjoy the most as far as sex goes.  Haha, it'd be a peculiar day if everybody on this planet changed their sex.  I have to say that even I would be weirded out a bit being the woman when I visit my girlfriend (or boyfriend, whoever).  I'd be willing to try it though.

Perhaps the reason men seem to be able to handle it more than women is because they have no choice in the matter.  Men who talk about their feelings and cry sometimes are weak and effeminate, no?  Don't respond to that question through your own perspective, but through the world's.  I'd love to be able to cry in front of others sometimes, but...I can't. 

'attagirl.  I'm sure that sooner or later we all would.

I agree on what you said, for the most part anyway.  Feminism was about equality in opportunities for women.  I fully support that, and hope that all women find what makes them happy.

Feminism was fine for a while.  Then... the radical feminists came, and they took over the movement.  It was no longer about equal opportunity.  I'm going to borrow some feminist quotes.  Since these are the leaders of the feminist movement, all I can conclude is that feminism went from women's liberation to a hate movement, pure and simple.

  "I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which a man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He's just incapable of it." -- Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan

 "All men are rapists and that's all they are" -- Marilyn French, Author, "The Women's Room"

"I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire." -- Robin Morgan

"Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies." -- Andrea Dworkin

"And if the professional rapist is to be separated from the average dominant heterosexual [male], it may be mainly a quantitative difference." -- Susan Griffin "Rape: The All-American Crime"

"The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist" -- Ti-Grace Atkinson "Amazon Odyssey" (p. 86)

"[Rape] is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear" -- Susan Brownmiller (Against Our Will p. 6)

"When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression..." -- Sheila Jeffrys

"Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometime gain from the experience," said Catherine Comins, Vassar College Assistant Dean of Student Life in Time.

"We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men." Elizabeth Cady Stanton, quoted in " One Woman, One Voice ", Wheeler, page 58.

"No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one." Simone de Beauvoir, author of _The Second Sex_, the book that is credited with launching the mainstream of the modern feminist movement ---

"Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women's movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage." (radical feminist leader Sheila Cronan).

"In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them." (Dr. Mary Jo Bane, feminist and assistant professor of education at Wellesley College and associate director of the school's Center for Research on Woman).

Our demand is not for equality. Who wants to be like men! We are trying as women to define ourselves. We not only reject the definitions that men have given us, but reject becoming like men. --From WOMEN OF THE WORLD UNITE -- WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT OUR MEN! [In] Notes from the First Year. New York: The New York Radical Women, 1968.

"The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands..." -Declaration of Feminism

"A good part-and definitely the most fun part-of being a feminist is about frightening men." --Julie Burchill (b. 1960), British journalist, author. Time Out (London, 16 Nov. 1989).

"A good part-and definitely the most fun part-of being a feminist is about frightening men." --Julie Burchill (b. 1960), British journalist, author. Time Out (London, 16 Nov. 1989).

"All societies on the verge of death are masculine. A society can survive with only one man; no society will survive a shortage of women."

How much more obvious do I have to make this for people to undertstand that Feminism no longer wants equality?  The Feminists say it themselves!  Their goal was not to seek equality; that was merely a politically correct phrase they used to make the movement appear to be a righteous one.  If they were for equality, then why is it that society doesn't allow men to stay at home? 

Could it be, perhaps, that Feminism didn't care about the desires and aspirations that men had?  Could it be that women was the only group that they cared about?  If anybody here can give me even one way that any man ever benefited from Feminism, perhaps equality could be the reason for perhaps three or four feminists. 

So would I, Buffalo.  So would I.  I'd much prefer the facts themselves over what people say, but since the majority of the items in the book actually had factual and deductable information, I'm going to take my chances with believing it.

I'm certain that each and every one of you have the feeling.  You can feel it deep down inside of you, and you may decide to deny it or cover it up or whatever else to dismiss it.  There is only one reason people are alive, and that's to carry on the human race.  Every single other thing involved in life is either a means, a method, or a trapping.

This applies to women as well.  Men are attracted to many women because of the natural urge to spread one's seed to as many different genetic lines as possible.  Women are attracted to many men because if one man has a fatal genetic error in the offspring, there would be few children with that particular disease. 

Some of you may argue religious issues in this idea, but God only wanted two things from humankind, and that was to love, and to be 'fruitful and multiply'.  Nowhere did God imply that the purpose of living was to get married or fall in love or see how many sport utility vehicles one could buy.

...That's not very fair to say.  I'm well aware of the power that I have in my relationship with my girlfriend, but I have never used that unfairly.  We both know that she needs me more than I need her, because as a result of the things I have gone through in life I have developed the skills to live quite happily without anyone else in my life. 

Even though her libido is much higher than mine, I have never pulled out the 'no sex' card to manipulate her.  I have always reciprocated everything that was possible to do.  I have never pulled a guilt trip or anything of the like.  I have never cheated on her, and I never will.  In all actuality, the biggest reason I am with her is because I know she loves me, and I don't want to see her get hurt.  Yep, I'm an asshole all right.

If people wonder why there are so many more 'assholes' than anybody else in the world, perhaps it's because the good ones are content to live alone.  I know quite a few.

Did they all fight for real issues?  I can count the honest egalitarians on one hand.  Perhaps three, including Susan Anthony?  Then, there are the radical feminists, such as Mary Koss, Robin Morgan, Gloria Steinam, Nora Fox, and that whole sorry lot.  If I weren’t so drowsy right now, I’m certain I could think up many more.

I apologize if I’m sounding offensive, because I’m really not trying to be.  But what I am about to say may sound selfish or unfair.  It is indeed true that women make less money than men for the same job, but it is also true that women are more likely to leave the job (pregnancy, job opportunities, lacking the stamina to stay).  They probably don’t have a cause-and-effect relationship, but the sad truth is that, no matter how unfair to women it may be, or how much it inconviniences the hardworking women of this country, it does even out.  If this one factoid isn’t enough to convince one that it is evened out, let’s consider some other things that aren’t in men’s favor:

In a car, the engine would be considered "more important" than the stereo.  But where would you rather be, under the hood where it’s hot, greasy, noisy and dangerous or in the passenger compartment where it is cool, comfortable and safe?  Which would be granted its choice, a stereo that wanted to ride along under the hood for a while, or an engine that wanted to sit in the back seat and take it easy for a spell?  Being "more important" (or making more money) can be the exact opposite of a privilege.

Options are commodities that come with a price whether they are exercised or not.  Women can’t demand more options and also demand equal pay.

Didn’t women say they wanted to work "as equals"?  "Why should commitment [to work] be demonstrated by working 100 hours per week?   As women, we have other options to explore..."

-Laura Bellows, chair of the American Bar Association, Commission on Women in the (Legal) Profession;, Ms. Magazine, November 1995

"Single women who have never married, live alone,a nd have full-time jobs earn more than their male equivalents by 28 cents per hour... Single women earn 101.6% of single men’s hourly earnings across the full spectrum of occupations, education levels, and age."

-press release from the Employment Policy Foundation; April 2, 2002

I’ll find more if necessary.  And, in response to that last paragraph, I will point out just a few ways that women benefit from the radical feminists, regardless of how unfair it is, and how very few of them refuse to do anything about it.

-Women nowadays seem to take pride in being a ’bitch’.  Some women nowadays even wear shirts and own keychains saying, "Caution, I go from 0 to BITCH in 2.0 seconds, and the bitch switch sticks."  An attack is an attack no matter how it is delivered.  It’s violence, no matter how people try to justify it.  Imagine how shocked women would be if men started wearing shirts that said "Caution, I go from 0 to FIST in 2.0 seconds, and the fist is a repeater."  No, I’m not violent in the least, but let’s call it sensitivity training.

-For any teenage girl who won’t give her virginity because her boyfriend might not be marriage material, I can similarly point out a teenage boy who refuses to marry someone because she wants to ration her sexuality so.  (We now have the pill; pregnancy is no longer be a concern).

Ok, I’m getting tired; I’ll stop here for now.  Perhaps later on I’ll edit the post to include some other double-standards.

I suppose everyone has their own experience to live by, and hopefully, make good judgment upon.  I'm certainly glad that there are 6 or 7 women in a website forum who I can have a bit of respect for, regarding their egalitarian perspective.  However, that number is beyond insignificant when I step away from the computer.  All around me, I seldom see any female who might not be a radical feminist product.  The exception is about 2.  Not 2%, but just 2.  This is quite the opposite of the alleged 99% who claim to be egalitarian.  I never said (and if somewhere I did say it, I retract it) that all women thought this way.  I do say though, that with the exception of the 2 people I mentioned above, every woman I have known has supported it.  Is there anybody here who believes so strongly in true equality that they are willing to get political about it?  Where is the Department of Men's Health?  Is there any woman out there who is a Father's Rights activist?  Someone?  Anyone?  You don't have to be active to participate in something.  While some women may not have actively participated in anti-male propaganda, I blame ALL women (minus those select few, once again) for it because they were more than glad to sit and let it happen.  It benefited them.  Did it not? 

At this point, I bet that the majority of women here are thinking that this is just some stupid little kid, set off by some bad stuff that happened to him, and is ranting on and on about something stupid and insignificant.  Of course it's insignificant to most women, since it doesn't benefit them at all.  But when are men going to be able to live (on average) as long as women do?  When will medical science cover that?  It sure did hurry to research breast cancer.  When will I be able to hold and comfort my potential children the way their mother could without being labeled a pedophile?  When, in domestic violence cases, will it ever be possible for someone to imagine the male being a victim at first whim?  When?  I will no longer wear the title 'gentleman' while women are allowed to wear the title 'bitch'.  I will no longer sit quietly and be told that I'm only after one thing or that my feelings don't count or that any pain I might've suffered doesn't matter.  I'm sticking up for myself and my dignity, and never again will I let someone take that away from me.  I wish that someone here was able to empathize, just a little bit.

I think people are under the impression that my generation is anything like the previous ones.  Let's not forget that after over 5,000 years of a certain way of doing things, our entire way of living has changed.  It has changed in less than 50.  The dust is settling as my generation comes in, and it's not very wise to assume that mine will be the same as the others.  Men are starting to hate women.  It's not all men, just yet, but I could point out a couple hundred if I wanted to, in my small area alone.  A few dozen I could name off the top of my head, who attend my school, with a student body of just under 1,000.   Don't deny this just because it hasn't happened before.  Feminism hasn't happened before either.  I'm trying to even things out, and to eliminate pointless double standards, before it's too late.  I don't want to become a 'bicycle without a fish' any more than you want to become a 'fish without a bicycle'.  Unless we can form some demilitarized zone outside of the 'dumb blonde' and Lorena Bobbit ideas, women will continue to meet 'assholes', and eventually, we will separate entirely.  Test tube children and cloning will be the primary methods of reproduction, and humanity as we know it will be no more.  I can guarantee it.

Oh, and for future reference, my mother didn't have much at all to do with my being anti-feminist.

Hmm.  The longest it ever took me to get over an ex was a year, and still going.  It was all because I told her I loved her, too...

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when one falls in love.

Thought someone might appreciate this.  Oh, and this letter is real.

Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superior shares an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself, and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp-dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting points:

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers B-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please - I hate having to correct your damn mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow, not ONE minute later. One word of this to anybody and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*ck with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

There are lots of sites with this letter in it.  Here is the one I got the letter from.

http://www.office-humour.co.uk/item.cfm?itm=1133

I didn't write it, although if in the right circumstances, I'm certain that I could do something similar.

I'm also a member at another site with others like me who have and will continue to stand up for themselves.  The site plans to make itself public within another year or so, but as for now we don't have the funding.  However, changes in law require changes in perspective.  This includes women.  Just as men were convinced that women could do what men could do and allowed it, women will have to accept the converse.  Equality is a two-way road.  That's one of the reasons why I do what I do here.  There are a select few here who challenge what I say, and I'm grateful for that.  Before a good decision can be made, both sides of an argument must be heard. 

It seems that I'm on the same page as some of the people here.  There will always be assholes out there, but there just might be less if true equality were achieved.  I might not have such prejudice towards women anymore.  I may not be so hateful.  I might not be so bitter.  Some other men might not be, either.

I'm glad all of you enjoyed it.  Thought you might.

He uses a tactic similar to my own, where instead of merely insulting somebody or annoying them, he can crush their self-esteem and self-respect.  I give him bonus points for being able to make it last several years.  Oh, and in case anybody is wondering, I only use this tactic when I have to.

Voiceofimpartiality wrote:

Nobody has any comments?  I must say i am a little hurt.  Ithought this an interesting and honest view of gender attitudes. Scott Adams is the creator od "Dilbert".

This is the kind of thing I'd love to comment on.  Forgive me for not noticing, but I don't frequent this site quite as much as I used to. 

Anyway, I completely agree with everything you said, excluding one thing.  ..."The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of persons exists only in our imaginations."
I'm very very flawed, but regarding significant change, I was once completely dedicated to the absolute opposite of what I was, because that's what I thought would make my ex happy.  Significant change doesn't even begin to describe it.  And now, a year later, I sit here, bitter and depressed, because the only thing I couldn't change was my religion.  My ability to love is empty because I gave unrestrained dedication to a lost cause.  Sorry for going off-topic there, but the pain hasn't died or even diluted yet, and I'm starting to doubt that it ever will...

To love completely but in vain creates only one product, and that is hate.  Cold, depressed, bitter...  I should listen to some music.

Good day.  I am a 17 year old male, and currently deciding which road to travel upon.  Here is a condensed version of the story.

My parents separated when I was 3.  They were never married.  They had me young, like when they were my age.  My mother won custody.  She was smoking since before I was born.   She started drinking soon after, along with the involvement of her boyfriend.  In front of me, they would drink heavily and experiment with drugs, and although I’m uncertain since I was so young, I believe I was once also present when my mother cheated on him.  He soon got violent with her, I’m assuming because of drug money and intoxication.  And once again, I saw all of it.  It ranged from broken bones to bloody expressions, and it got to the point where I could (and did) enter my home to see the carpet and furniture saturated in blood, and to casually shrug it off with the indifferent phrase, "Oh, they must’ve just had another fight again."  My father won custody of me when I was 7.  While my father was an ethical and caring man, regarding relationships, he was weak.  He stayed with his girlfriend (eventually wife) despite her never having a job, her cocaine addiction, and the overt promiscuosity.  I witnessed that too. 

My mother stayed with her ex until I was 12, when he got arrested for irrelevant charges.  He is still there today, and will be until I’m past my prime.  She still would drink though, and once, while playing Super Mario World, I heard her say something I would never forget- "I can’t believe I went through the pain of cihldbirth to give birth to a piece of shit like you."  Even now, I regard it with indifference.  Soon after, I got arrested for...something bad that I won’t post here, and I still hate myself for it.  Yes, it is that bad.  I stayed in prison until just after my 15th birthday.  Yes, it was a real prison.  Not all that wonderful a childhood so far.

After getting out, I had a very distrustful posture towards humanity in general.  That is, until I met her.  I won’t give her name, so I’ll refer to her as just that.  We eventually started dating, and although we were very different, I did all I could to make it work out.  I changed everything about myself.  In regard to physical intimacy, she would never go farther than a quick peck on the lips, but that was fine, as I had changed myself so much, I not only condoned it; I encouraged it.  I fell in love with her.  I do not exaggerate when I say that the way I felt could make the best romance novel shrivel up and die, by comparison.  She reciprocated nothing, neither by emotion nor by behavior.  I introduced her to my circle of friends, and we all planned on starting a webcomic.  I told her I loved her, and she dumped me soon after, because the one thing I couldn’t change about myself was my religion.  I started to see her as a selfish, arrogant pit that would never be full, no matter how much I gave.  We both started to hate each other.  This broke up the group of friends I had, since they obviously preferred her company over mine.  They still don’t know that I know this.  I left the group, under the lie that I merely didn’t want to make them decide between us.  I knew what the choice would be.  Soon after, I met another girl, Nakamoose, and she grew to love me just as much as I loved my previous gf.  There was just one problem; I couldn’t love her back.  I still had feelings for the first one, even now, after an entire year has passed by.  She has started dating one of my friends, and actually had sex with him for what I believe was the first time a few weeks ago.  I love her just as much as I always have. 

Because of the things I have been through in my life, I have obtained the skills to completely shut off any feelings I have towards anything, and actually hold a subtle hatred/indifference toward everything.  I call it perfect hate, for true hate cannot be expressed except through indifference and apathy.  I believe I can live quite happily this way, and am starting to lean toward that road, despite what my current girlfriend feels toward me.  I can feel sanity starting to leave me.  I don’t want to do this to her, but I’m starting to lose it.  I’m starting to lose my mind...

How can I get over my first love?  How can I reciprocate the love my girlfriend has towards me?  Will I ever be happy again?  Or...is perfect hate the only option?

You tell me.

Arguing is fun; is it not?  I might jump in this eventually.  As of yet though, I have no reason to.  I'll just stay relevant to the original post.

People think I'm bragging when I bring up stuff like this, but it's merely candor.  If I do it for any selfish reason, the reason would be because I enjoy having an honest and open discussion.  On top of that, I occasionally toy with pointless inhibitions.  I suppose with other guys women might be something of a trophy, but I don't see it that way.  I can respect sex without having to hide it.

What I originally posted isn’t the whole issue for me yet.  All my life I thought I was able to tolerate anything, because I thought I could simply neutralize it in my mind and it would go away.  I thought I could do it forever.  No, I’m sensing that this pain I’m going through is only a small sample of things to come.  I can feel everything I have ever suffered coming back out, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to hide it.  I wasn’t able to suppress it, so I’m uncertain of my strength now.  It has gotten to the point where, because he ridiculed and trivialized the things I had gone through, I had thought about killing my best friend, several times a day.  He doesn’t know this.  Only Nakamoose and the people here do, well now anyway.  I can feel it all coming out, hate for everything, and everyone...except Nakamoose, for now.  I visualize different types of suffering that the people I pass by could endure regularly, but unintentionally.

I was not kidding when I said I could feel my sanity leaving me.  I am starting to lose control.  I’m starting to become afraid of myself, as I feel the hatred surface.  Anti-love, anti-peace, anti-life, anti-everything.  This is much more than a simple indifference.  The indifference is merely what it is now.  I don’t know what to do, but this is the only place I can go to, where people might know me well enough to understand.

I can’t afford a genuine shrink, and I don’t particularly smile upon the idea of getting committed, since during my incarceration, 2 months of it were at a mental hospital.

I just hope people here understand that I’m not violent in the least, or at least I once wasn’t.  I’ve never hated anybody.  I’ve never wanted to cause harm for no apparent reason.  The only ones who I don’t have this feeling for right now are Nakamoose and my ex.

There are other symptoms along with this, but they aren’t really significant.  I’m scared, and no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt....

If I were to fight toward the goal of returning to the way we used to be, nearly every woman in this country (USA) would defy it, because any movement for less lifestyle options will always appear to be oppressive.  That's an unrealistic goal.  I see no point in fighting for that.  It's the whole double-standard thing that gets me.  Like I said before, it's a two-way street.  

Sometimes I wish I were older, so that other men who are activists but with different ideals would be less likely to look down upon mine.  Age is in proportion with experience, but experience means nothing of one is still wrong.  It means nothing if one still fails, or is unrealistic.

I know I will eventually, and I'll be sure to let you know.  Hahahaha....

If I ever marry, and I'm still leery on that, I'm most likely getting a prenup.

Steven, that article would be really good to make as a reference, since my larger goal, besides proving that God exists, is to show similarities between religions and how, in one way or another, they all preach the same thing.  They're just different perspectives.  If I can accomplish this, I think I could get a $50,000 scholarship.  With my college goal being getting a Doctorate in Psychology and Medicine, I'll need all the money I can get.

Most popular statistics aren't accurate at all, and you don't even say where the stats come from, excluding some generalizations, if they qualify.  C'mon, you can do better than that.

Huh, I just realized that these emoticons remind me of pac-man.   Neato.

Even though I do agree with most of the original post, I'm a bit ashamed to know that it came from someone as malicious, selfish, and irrational as you.

I know this is a bit immature of me to say, but I now wonder if you've ever actually had a boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whatever the hell it is you prefer. 

I believe that women cheat, and do so quite a bit.  I wish I knew more about it, but I don't.  I just know that they do, since I saw it.

Regarding VOI, I'm a guy; Steven is a guy; there are several others; we understand women.  The reason you don't is because you haven't tried more than one perspective.  Perhaps when you take off your crown and halo you'll be more able to identify with the people here.

I'm in doubt as to whether or not I'll be able to recover. 

I'm not afraid to go to a shrink, and if I got money from my family to help, they'd make a scene out of it and that'd just make things worse.  No sense in getting help if everybody thinks you're still crazy...

I've spent the past year searching for ways to vent, and in actuality, since I tend to not want to show personal info over the net, since someone might know me, this was most likely my last chance.  I've exhausted the other options.

It's time I realized the truth about the real world.  No matter how significant an issue may be, if it's not worth any money, nobody cares.  The idea of friendship and all that rot died long ago, in the real world.  I cannot afford a shrink, the few friends I had can no longer be trusted, and Nakamoose can't do anything about it.  This site is all that is left, and I'm certain that if I tried another site, they'd give the same stupid cliche that 'time heals all wounds'.   Either they don't care, or they don't know what else to say.

Suddenly, when I look to my right, the blade appears to be more useful than mere decoration.

I don't think I posted this above, but I have already seen one.  It was right after my release when I saw one, for several months.  Nothing has changed.

I live in a very small town, with a population of no more than 3,000.  The only reason it's even that high is the fact that farmland can cover a lot of space, and people live along those roads.  No psychologist, or university, or any of that is here.  Even if it was, I doubt I'd be able to get there.

I do think I know what would solve the problem, though.  I've always had an ethic code that wouldn't allow me to let a relationship end on bad terms.  I want to make things right, even if nobody else cares.  That will never happen though.  Nobody else cares.  Nobody ever knew the feelings I once had.  They would label me as clingy and selfish, as they already have.  My best friend still thinks the only reason I feel this way now is because "she was the only girl who didn't sleep with me".   I still want to break something over him for that...  Trivializing one's emotions is not a good way to stay conscious...

There is one other thing that I think would help, but it won't happen either.  I could leave.  Everything here reminds me of her, and how happy I once was.  My friends who she took, my interest in animation, the type of music I listen to, everything.  I suppose I could just leave it all behind, and start over somewhere else.  Unfortunately, I'm only 17.

I have to fix this problem before I can fix any of my other issues.  That's why I said above that nobody cares. 

I’m quite certain that I can get scholarship money, but I wish I didn’t have to wait another 9 months to use it.

Every now and then, I think about whether or not I’d be happy living a life full of hate.  I must say that it sounds appealing.  It could be productive. 

Regarding my guidance counselor, this may sound a bit arrogant, but he doesn’t seem to be the kind of person who could give any meaningful advice.  He just seems to be one of those people who I ask about scholarships and the like.

There is an intuition that I have that tells me that I could love anybody if I wanted to, but this has to be dealt with first.  I’ve spent nearly half of my time (both sleeping and not) these past few months thinking up ways I could deliver the phrase that I desperately wish I could say.  I’ve thought about walking along the winter forest with her, the snow illuminated by the light of the moon above.  I’ve even thought out what music I might want to bring along, to make the moment even more memorable, most likely a genre with a blend of jazz, rock and youth choir.  I could visualize her blissful, teary expression when I finally say those three words which I can’t.  I know that there are two parts me fighting with one another right now, and I understand the consequences of letting either one win.  I know that I can make this work.  She is one of the most loving, sensitive, caring people I have ever known, and she doesn’t deserve the pain of having to deal with the excuse that ’we simply aren’t compatible’.  That’s the same thing my ex did to me, and I barely lived through it.  My girlfriend can't handle emotions as well as me, so I know she couldn’t bear it if I had to put her through that too.  If I think I can find a way to get over my past love, I’m not going to give up on this.  I am going to make this work.  No matter how much I have to destroy or reshape my being and character, no matter what amount of pain I have to endure, no matter how many issues I will have to face, I am going to make this work.  She deserves nothing less.

I think I can control the hate inside of me.  I just had to put things in perspective, I suppose.  Now, if only I knew how to move on... 

I can't find your email anywhere, and I'm too fatigued to look (7 hour workday on 0 calories), so I'll just post it here.  It's supposed to be a mock chain letter.  Enjoy.

> > Please read the following... 
> > 
> > 
> > I don't normally forward these, but this one looks important... 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > WARNING !!!!! 
> > 
> > If a man comes to your front door and says he is 
> > conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits 
> > DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR TITS. 
> > 
> > This is a scam and he is only trying to SEE YOUR TITS! 
> > 
> > 
> > Please pass this important message on. 

I really wish I could tell you what I did to make me have such a low opinion of myself, but I can't.  I'll just leave it at the fact that it is certainly worse than a murder.

She knows that I won't say something unless I mean it.  Either I will actually end up loving her, or she'll get sick of waiting and ditch me.  It'll all end up working out either way.  She won't want to stay forever.   And about the arrogance thing, she told me that she'd probably be dead had she not met me.  When in situations like this, people often think that candor is bragging.  From noticing her irrationality, her high emotion level and other things, I'm in doubt as to whether she could handle it.  I barely did.

Some people do not survive heartbreak.  I was dealing with myself during my stay in prison, and was on the verge of suicide.  Had I not been apprehended and put in solitary, I would probably have some pencil lead in my brain right now. 

That is horrible!  If your life partner could do something like that; when one can't get help from her own mother; when you're not safe in your own home, I don't think you can be honestly safe anywhere.

If you honestly have no place left to turn, then either way, you'll be making heavy sacrifices.  It'll be a hard thing to do, and it'd be nice if we didn't live in a world like that, but if he tries this again, then you'll have to fight back.  Kill if necessary.  I know this is going to be one hell of a trauma for your son, as I went through similar things and I know what it feels like, but if it really has to come down to defending your life, you'll have to make a choice: your husband's or yours.  It appears that your son is probably going to hurt either way.  I'm sorry to be this blunt, but sometimes we can't always 'just get along'.   Sometimes you'll have to fight back.

Sorry again.  I know my words won't be taken well...

I think that in order to understand the story, you gotta understand where it's coming from.  The forum that this came from consists of men who, like the women here, need a place to vent and endure the problems of gender relationships.  The clear idea over there is that, like how some women insist on believing that all men are only after one thing, or cheaters, or violent, or stupid (no I'm not directing this at anybody in particular), men believe that women are selfish, parasitic, and posessive, and have completely lost touch with reality.  There are two sides to every story, and in his experience, I'm guessing that his assumptions come from the fact that it was all he ever witnessed. 

Oh, and he's not really any gender now.  Even so, why would it matter what he was?  I still consider castration occasionally, that way nobody would ever be able to say that I'm 'only after one thing', and I'd never feel the 'dirty thoughts' that men are assumed to be having.

You're not very nice.  I think these nice ladies have more of a chance of ending up happy than you will,  I think you'll end up very lonely and depressed in the end.  Anyone who can proudly call herself a bitch so is more than likely to become a spinster lady herself.

For some reason, I think you're a guy. 

...I’m an active member here, an ardent anti-feminist and have been for quite some time.  I speak of the subject quite often.

While I agree with the majority of it (I'm too tired to think it over well enough to show a distinct agreement), I think the reason why nobody has replied is because either they don't know what to say to it, or are simply ignoring you because of the reputation you have left behind in some of your other posts.  Wish I didn't have to be blunt like that, but sometimes the truth isn't easy.

Showdown...

Call me selfish, but I'm a guy who, unless my gf is flat broke or is saving her money for something important, will only pay for what I use, and what I use alone.  On dates, it's not 'whoever makes more money should pay'.  It's 'pay for what you buy'.  To anybody who has a problem with that, go ahead and attack my masculinity or call me cheap.  At least I know that I'm not gonna get ripped off.  To me, this will be an age of equality.  NO EXCEPTIONS.

I don't really have a whole lot of money.  I mean, outside of car insurance, I don't pay bills yet.  My average check is about $130, since MI law won't allow me to work more than 20 hours a week  (biweekly checks).

Insurance is a bitch at my age, so yeah...  I don't have a whole load of money, and even though my gf has less, I'm trying to earn a Doctorate degree in Psychology.  She is not. 

I admire her determination when it comes to self-sufficiency.  She holds even higher standards for herself than I do, so I don't expect to have to be 'stingy' anytime soon.  Yay.

I had thought about this quite a bit before I had even started this thread.  I know what the problem is, and it's a bit of a supposedly fantastic idea, so I'll just skip that part.  Some people may really start to think I'm crazy.  Hahaha...

I know how to move on from this, and although it has a lot to do with theology and all that, it basically boils down to me making things right with my ex.  I remember the last words we ever said to one another, and I really don't want to end it this way.  She never did love me the way I loved her, so I'm pretty sure that it was easy for her to move on.  I've never been able to end anything with animosity.  I don't know why; that's just how I am.  She wants nothing to do with me.  She would go to great expense to avoid me, if she could.  My best friend thinks that I should just drop the issue and move on.  I wish he understood...

I must admit I am a bit bitter towards her for the things she has done.  She has always tried to get something for nothing.  I gave everything up for her, and the reciprocity was near zero.  People may accuse me of 'being after something', and I suppose I was, but I want to make something absolutely clear here - I cared nothing about sex itself.  I just wanted to express a higher level of intimacy.   She couldn't do it, and what made me snap was the fact that she just lost her virginity to one of my friends. 

She isn't to me what she was before.  I don't want her to come back.  I don't want to even be her friend.  I just want to end things right.  I feel ripped off, but eventually, I'll be able to avoid things like that in the future. 

And... to be perfect is to be absolute.  This isn't and doesn't always have to be a good thing.  I call it perfect hate because that is precisely what it is.  It is the spiritual manifestation of every single thing I've experienced, everything I can remember.  I really don't remember anything good about my childhood, so I have to call it that.

Just another day for me here.  I'm posting 'cause...I feel like it, I guess.  Here I am, 2 days after I get my driver's license, and somebody hits me from the side.  Big dent....very big dent....

At work they were selling a 5-pound chocolate bar, and got it as a gift to me gf.  I got an employee discount.  It was about the size of a small plank of wood, around 42-7-2. 

Emotions are fluctuating.  My best friend is scared of me.  Stupid boy....

It's a long story, and I'm hesitating to tell the whole story in fear that my...peculiarities will discredit my opinion, and I will no longer be regarded as someone who is at least somewhat good in judgment.  No, most people would regard me as an absolute lunatic, and seeing as how I only know the people here through what they post, I'm not convinced that it'll be any different.

Regarding the chocolate, she likes it lots.  It'll take a while to eat though, seeing as how the bar itself is around 12,000 calories.

The dent has been repaired.  Just some finishing issues and it'll look like it did once before.  And...no, I wasn't hurt.  Just tired and a little pissed off...

I can't find the link anymore, but I read an article not too long ago about two parents who, not before locking her in the garage and starving her for a literal week, beat her to death with an umbrella.  The girl was under 10, I know.  I imagine that there was quite a bit of suffering, since it isn't all that easy to die from an umbrella.

I'm not wonderful...  I know I'm not...  Even if I was before, I know that I'm not now.

In the long run, I think this feeling that I have...the deeper feeling... it will overcome me, and there will only be three choices for me: life alone in the wild, the overt display of perfect hate, or suicide.  I will take my pick when the time is right.  For now, I will make sure that these options will stay available until I am ready to choose.

Ok, I finally have one. 

Fat little kid, aren't I? 

Life...is like a box of chocolates.  A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for.  Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates.  Then you're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there is nothing else left to eat.  Sure, once in a while, there is a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee, but the sensation is gone too soon; the taste is fleeting.  So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you have left is an empty box, filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.

Out of curiosity, has anybody here ever been in a mental hospital? 

Things that I have done...things that I cannot change about myself, and yet people hate...  Someone here may say something along the lines of "We won't hate you for it, 'cause we don't judge people like that", in a subtle attempt to coerce me to say why I feel this way.  I know that it's just not true.  I'm just sick of trying to be something I'm not, and I've finally accepted the truth about myself.  I don't belong here...

I can't handle the 'romantic' standards that people set themselves up to.  I can't handle the people who believe that there is such a thing as "The One".  I can't live with the belief that things will get better eventually, because as of yet, it hasn't.  I can't handle the specialness fix of those who still think that they're somehow significant.  I can't deal with those who think that people are any more important than anything else.  Most of all, I can't handle stupidity.  I don't mean merely ignorance, but blatant stupidity.  I cannot stand the people of the world who convince themselves of the things in life that are just plain lies.  I no longer have questions about the mysteries of life, because for the most part, everything falls into place.  I cannot live a lie anymore...

Most people are under the impression that this is what I'm going for.  No, I want the same things that everybody else wants.  I honestly want to be happy, and want to live a normal or semi-normal life, with love and friendship and all of that.  I just can't do it anymore.  I try my hardest to see things that way, but when life makes sense, there is nothing else I can do.  I cannot fight logic.  When one sees life for what it really is, s/he sees the goals of 'success' and 'happiness' to be mere ideology.  It can never be achieved because there is never a point where it is truly enough.  I know that my experiences of life aren't all that significant or special, but it has shaped me nontheless.  I suppose, the biggest reason why I can't get beyond this is because I can no longer see the world through rose-colored glasses.  I never had that ability.  

When I think of my life and the joy I once felt, I think of the song "Creep" by Radiohead.  I've never been able to identify so cleanly with a song before. 

Some people think that I am not trying.  Some people think I don't care.  Some people think that I'm not putting in enough effort....

I am trying to deal with this.  I am trying harder than I ever have before to make something work.  I am trying my ass off.  I have seen 12 psychologists so far, and as of yet, none have done anything except bring out more of what I'm trying to avoid.  Everyday I wake up and think of how to create the feeling that I want to say.  Everyday when I have free time at school, I think of how I can honestly and truthfully say the words that I wish I could.  Every night, when I fall asleep, I lay in bed wondering what will become of me...what will become of...us.  What can I do to make this work?  I wish I knew...

And...Krismiss, I wasn't referring to you at all.  I was referring to other teenagers who make romance and ideology the centerpiece of their lives.  Do you honestly think that I think that about you?  About anybody here?  I never said that; I never even implied that; if I thought you would give me advice I didn't need, I never would've started this whole issue to begin with.  It's just, every single person says that I should see a psychologist, but after 12 failed attempts, I am starting to think that it may not be the right option.

.............

....................

...........When I get the time, I will try to find a professional whom I can talk to this about.  There....everybody's happy.

Is he really that bad?  I mean, if all the people you met in life were the assholes, what would you think of dating?  Hell, half of me wants to get cut off too, so that I never have attraction to any woman ever again.

It’s not fair to call somebody names and then not wonder why they might adopt them.  And besides, as cruel as the used car comment was, is he wrong? 

Would it help if I said that the same thing was true about men, or did the majority of man-bashing jokes over the net kinda get that pointed out?

When I feel that way, I usually practice with bladed weaponry in the woodland.  I hate firearms. 

Anyway, like this example, do that one thing you know you're good at.  Your self-esteem will come back, and you'll be able to move on with life.  The flame of love will never die, but that doesn't mean we can't reduce it to a cinder.

Fuck....

Uh, umm... I don't TRY to do it.  In fact it rarely happens.  I just posted it because it has happened before.

...I really don't try to be 'manly' or anything like that.  It just happens, is all.

Like South Park, most elections boil down to deciding between a 'douche and turd sandwich'. 

We all know what Bush's character is like, now that he has been in office for 4 years.  We know what kind of decisions he would make given the right circumstances.  And yeah, he has us in the middle of a war.  We all know that, we all get it.  Are we going to be so bitter that we would blindly rush to vote for whoever challenges him though?  To those affected by what Bush has done this past 4 years, it seems like anybody else could do a better job.  We can't simply assume that since Kerry says he can do better, that he will.  Every candidiate says that.  From what we know about Kerry thus far, before making a decision, we'd be wise to think about what he would do, provided he was in the same situation.  What would Kerry do with this war we have if he gets elected?   I'm not trying to side with anybody here, but we can't just rush to somebody else, thinking that he would be better.  Well we can, but we shouldn't.  Use unbiased judgment, based on the character of the two, and put both of them in the situation that one of them will have to face eventually.  What would they do?

I don't try to get close to 'em.  I'm minding my own business.  It's a rare thing even now, so ya don't have to worry LMM.  I don't go around killing deer for sport.  My passion for martial arts is more centralized on humankind...for competition, that is.  Yeah, competition.  Hahahaha....

Never seen LOTR, or read it, or seen HP, or any of that stuff.  NakaMoose is obsessed with it all.  Eee....

And... if I have to kill, I'm definitely grilling it.  Always wanted to try deer... If I ever kill, I'm going to make sure that it is productive, somehow.

I guess nobody has read the other thread.  I said that I would seek help if I could find someone I could trust.  This town is a tiny one; give me some time.  I may take a while though.

LMM, I actually have tried those things, if you consider martial arts to be a sport.  I never really liked football.  The idea of wearing pads and spandex just so that I can grind limbs with other sweaty guys, all in an effort to catch a stupid ball is not my idea of fun. 

In the midst of philosophy, work, school, college, friendship, family, errands and this, I seldom have the time to post anymore, let alone search for a shrink I can rely on.  It's just, even when I vent, it seems like nobody on the outside wants to listen.  I write poetry in school during my free time and get sent to the office.  I try to talk with what few friends I have about it and all they do is either ignore it or change the subject.  If I say anything to my family, it spreads through both sides of it like wildfire, and I could end up committed.  I'm not going back there.  I won't do it again...

I want to solve this problem, not avoid it or cover it up.  If I can find someone that I'm CERTAIN that I can trust, then perhaps I will spill to him/her, but until then, I will have to settle for what is the here and now.

...I'm still amazed at how some people can be at this forum.  How, for some reason, we are all under the impression that women are 'relationship and intimacy experts' simply because they are women.  Men are raised to not vent about things because it isn't manly or whatever.  Long ago, I abandoned that philosophy.  I'm one of the few men out there who will actually show what is going on in their heads, and one might think, perhaps for half a second, that this may be a small crack in the wall of denial that men can just 'move on'.  It really does set something off when after everything I've said here, and the apparent grief that I still show over my ex, people can just consider it irrelevant when regarding how a man can really feel.  I will no longer be told that my feelings don't count.  I will no longer be told that my grief doesn't matter.  As hard as it is for you to believe, and as bitter as some of you may be, I'm going to speak for all ethical, and caring men when I say that WE DO HAVE FEELINGS. 

You ever wonder why men are 6 times more likely to commit suicide than women are?   Ever wonder why most serial murderers are men?  Anybody ever stop to think that there might be a connection between all this and the fact that men aren't allowed to express their feelings?  Anybody at all?  Something to think about, it is...

Out of curiosity, what do you think about this...

A woman has a child but the child's father wants no involvement with the child.  For a fee, he would be able to sign a paper, terminating all legal connection to the child.

I wanna see how outraged people will get by this suggestion before I make my connection.

The circumstance is this.  Neither parent is abusive, and the mother alone would be able to support the child.

I just wanted to make the connection about "freedom of choice".  I just wanted to see if anybody here would vehemently say that men shouldn't be able to do that and still be pro-choice.  If this were a possibility, no child would die, but the parent who didn't want the kid wouldn't have to keep it.  Basically, it's a paper abortion.

I get the feeling that there is going to be a double-standard set up here on the premises that women can do whatever they want with their bodies...

I hate to act special, but there is one factor that separates me from even my peers.  It is this one thing that makes me so unlikely to divulge this information.  If it weren't a factor, I would probably consult you with this.  It's just that one thing, and NakaMoose knows what it is, that makes me not trust people enough to open up.

Maybe someday I can...

Juveniles can be murderers and rapists too, y'know.  It was meant for anybody up to the age of 22.  We wore orange and brown uniforms.  There was barbed coil wire around the perimeter.  I was 140 miles away from home.  All food tasted like Alka Seltzer.  Not 500 feet away was an adult prison.  There was solitary confinement, bars on the windows, group showers (that we were only required to take once every 3 days, meaning that it was a privilege to take one everyday), and of course, we all had met the prostitute of the prison, who would gladly engage in anal sex for a pack of cough drops.

No, I was nobody's "bitch", and no, I didn't turn gay there, just to clarify.

I’m not mad.  This was just a little test I wanted to run to see how selfish people were, and what kind of double-standards were set up in this country that boasts so overtly about equality.

Female power has always come from the fact that they can incubate unborn children.  Sexual power, I suppose.  Because of multiple orgasms, women have had this nearly unlimited supply of female power.  Male power has come from the fact that they are generally more able to provide, or financial power, and not specifically about money, but the overall ability to provide for children upon being born.  The point that I was getting across is that if society doesn’t have the right to force a woman to be a mother for 9 months of her life, then it shouldn’t have the right to force a man to be a father for 18 years of his.  I’m all for the right to choose, but if you’re gonna make that choice, understand that equality goes both ways.  Perhaps it is not the law now, but I am certain that it will be very soon.

I have an idea of how we could just 'get along'.  Perhaps it's time to be honest about everything.  Maybe it's time to stop putting a taboo on every single damn thing that is a little different.  (This is a very shortened version of my entire philosophy on life)  Perhaps it's time that people put what is natural over what is ideal.  It takes a bit of lateral thinking, but it works.

Anybody who has ever willingly broken a taboo and gotten away with it can say that they feel a sense of power and perhaps had an adrenaline rush along with it.  They start to break taboos habitually, until society labels them as rebellious or delinquent.  I have to question, what would happen if there were no taboos, except that which deviated from what was natural?  What would happen if we were honest about everything, and didn't lie or sugarcoat things to 'protect' people? 

What does this all have to do with rape?  Rape is a violent response to something, some sort of trauma.  This is why rape victims are more inclined to become rape perpetrators.  This is why abused children are likely to become violent in adulthood.  While an open mind will not necessarily stop rape itself, it will most certainly help get rid of the factors that contribute to it.

How can we put this into effect?  Honesty is the first goal.  We can't help anybody if we're always trying to suppress knowlege.  The second goal is perspective.  We must understand that sexuality is just as natural a part of us as our eyes and ears, and should be regarded similarly.  If we decide to talk about rape stats to the youth (up to 12 in this example), we can't keep saying that sex is natural and yet overemphasize the fact.  One might think that their ears are somehow wrong if everybody puts so much emphasis on it being right.

It sounds irrelevant, I know, but it isn't.  Everything has an effect on everything else, in one way or another.  We have to change the cause if we're ever going to change the effect.

To answer your question Krismiss, toward any woman that I don't know well, yes it is likely that misogyny is there.  I admit, I am a bit prejudiced towards women, but it's not as if most of the women here are completely devoid of misandry either.  Misogynists are not born; they are made.

LMM, what about if a woman were to just change her mind, after making it clear that she wanted children, at least to begin with? 

What kind of world are we trying to create?  Should a man simply not trust women anymore?  In a monogamous relationship, should he be so cautious about his partner's intentions that he should wear a condom everytime?  I must say, for as much as we talk about the world that we all claim to fear approaching us, we sure aren't doing much to remedy the situation, other than create more animosity.

I'm a bit saddened by this now.  Maybe I should just get fixed and leave it at that.  It's a shame that this is what we have to resort to.

I don’t get it.  Are you asking a question and answering it, or what?

You say "if men have the opportunity to cheat, they will".  It's obvious that your bitterness has skewered your judgment.  I mean no offense when I say that, but I do believe it is true.  Men need a reason too, and nearly all cheating men have one.

And you’re right about one thing.  It is fun to be sneaky (not with cheating...).

If it makes you feel any better, this guy will probably end his days alone and unhappy because of all of the women he has screwed over.  Everything works out eventually.  It may take an entire lifetime, but it all works out eventually.

Someone named 'whosfoolingwho' or something like that posted here and I replied to it.  Guess it's gone now.

hrenee wrote:

My x husband booted me out 4 another woman, 1 year ago. now, he has a new baby, with this woman, i would say that he has moved o9n, however he is all the ime bringin up who i am seein/sleepin with ,or w/e!!! WHY!! he got what he wanted has a child with her. He and i did get along well for our childs sake until he found out I was seeing someone and now he is a true ass!!! why? why can’t he just be civil and let it go???? any ideas why he is being like this?

My guess is that he feels you did something and in retaliation, he doesn't want you to be happy.  He wants you to suffer.

I know my reply sounds a bit out there, but I know that it is the case quite a bit.