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Posts by malarkey marie.
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WomanSaver's Forum
Topic: DITCH PIG
Subject: DITCH PIG - Posted: 11/24/2008 7:06:45 AM
Uncle Don wrote:

The site is back up an running and the 1st thing you got to say is about me.  I am impressed.  You just can‘t forget about me can you?  See the real problem over here is the ugliness that the women bring together.  This site has been down for two months and as soon as it is up the very 1st post has to be a confrontation!

 

Loser!



don‘t **** with tradition there piggie.


Topic: Happy Thanksgiving!!
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving!! - Posted: 11/27/2008 2:14:27 AM

to you and yours as well.

 

p.s. sunny? have you read the "twilight" series yet?


Topic: a way to view a profile of a member
Subject: a way to view a profile of a member - Posted: 11/27/2008 2:19:13 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
Momof4 wrote:
 

Busty‘s real name is Buffy Tickletushy, and she is a Brazilian Bottom waxer. Ask her abut her sac waxing-it‘s divine.



  OMG!!!!!


i gave my ex‘s wallet a waxing.

Topic: Happy Thanksgiving!!
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving!! - Posted: 11/28/2008 4:46:52 AM
sunny fl wrote:
lorrie wrote:

to you and yours as well.

 

p.s. sunny? have you read the "twilight" series yet?



no I was asking somebody about that yesterday.

Is it good?



yes, the first book, "twilight" is my favorite. i haven‘t finished the last book yet.

Topic: Happy Thanksgiving!!
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving!! - Posted: 11/28/2008 5:03:41 AM
ToucheBaby wrote:

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

LMWS....I would like to personally thank you for this site.

I cant begin to express how pleased/grateful I was to have had found this site.

It was a true blessing to have a place to vent and "get it all out of my system."

Thank you once again.  :)

 

Its reassuring to know my experience is "out there" and anyone...whoever...whomever can take from it what it is they need to know.

Its hard to fathom such intentional acts are so easily commited by others.

I can only imagine what my outcome "would" have been had I known what he was capable of.

Who really knows if Ive saved anyone from what it is he has done to me.........the blessing is...at least I warned them................

 



you have to live with your choices, i suppose.

Topic: You know you picked the wrong turkey when.....
Subject: You know you picked the wrong turkey when..... - Posted: 11/28/2008 5:04:44 AM
where have i seen that face before?

Topic: Why is this????
Subject: Why is this???? - Posted: 11/29/2008 3:06:49 AM

yas, i have asked several "average" guys this very question and their answer is: "you never know until you try" and "what have i got to lose"?

you are going to have to be more firm with the creep and tell him its not on or that you will never ever get over the loss of your friend and for his own good he should move on to a women more deserving of his lazy fat ass.

 


Topic: Happily everafter....
Subject: Happily everafter.... - Posted: 11/29/2008 3:27:42 AM

i am not surprised that you lack the emotional depth required to analyze your own character and face the flaws in your own personality.

i am taken aback however by the fact that you seem to have mixed up the words blame and fault.

most of us are at fault in the demise of our marriages. including you, whether you have the strenght to confront your failures as a wife or not db, you failed to see the lack of emotional maturity and availability in a man you chose to marry.

cheater‘s, imo, are to blame. i am not suprised that neither you nor your friends understand this.

it is my fault that my husband strayed and it is my fault that he was lonely.

he is to blame for the divorce.

i carry my own sense of anguish and guilt because there was a child involved. but i have never once thought that i was not, in some measure, at fault.

but kuddos to you. your inflated sense of self-esteem is protecting you from a truth you can not confront.

hope it holds.

 


Topic: Hey Don!
Subject: Hey Don! - Posted: 11/29/2008 5:18:22 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
Are you cooking up something splendid from your garden for Thanksgiving?  Some kind of yam or squash?  You always have good recipes!  Spill Mister!  I am thinking time has passed on your garden goodies but perhaps you have a traditional recipe to share.


of course he does there busty.

mix alcohol with ignorance and stir in some self-pity add a batch of people that don‘t want to know you and pretend you give a ****.

 


Topic: Happy Thanksgiving!!
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving!! - Posted: 11/29/2008 5:26:05 PM

I must say....upon first finding this site...there were many well balanced people offering advice.  It was a great place of sincere people exchanging advice,opinions...etc.

 

i agree, it was great till you got here, dragging you passel of pm-stealin. back biting, chat- coping, lying whores behind you.

 


Topic: Happy Thanksgiving!!
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving!! - Posted: 11/29/2008 5:27:46 PM

However,Im past that difficult time in my life

past your prime, more like. 


Topic: yay I am so glad the site‘s up!
Subject: yay I am so glad the site‘s up! - Posted: 11/29/2008 5:45:41 PM

dear not pissed,

 

i just rec.d your pm and i‘m reading it. i will send my reply as soon as i can but remember you are glorious, a grand human being, just as you are.

 


Topic: Is Separation Helpful?
Subject: Is Separation Helpful? - Posted: 12/1/2008 7:44:06 AM

 you have asked a tough question of us, we are here for infedelity and abuse so mostly our first answer is yes! separate.

my husband of 16-17 years left me for another woman so the separation was forced on me.

its been a few years now and i see it as: for the best, for everyone.

i can not tell you what to do but i will say the long  "walks" are alarming, to me. how long is he gone? where does he go? does he work? did he ever?

i have to say a woman has no business with a man that does not or will not work. period.


Topic: Hey Don!
Subject: Hey Don! - Posted: 12/2/2008 8:54:38 AM
skylla wrote:
lorrie wrote:
BustyLaMoan wrote:
Are you cooking up something splendid from your garden for Thanksgiving?  Some kind of yam or squash?  You always have good recipes!  Spill Mister!  I am thinking time has passed on your garden goodies but perhaps you have a traditional recipe to share.


of course he does there busty.

mix alcohol with ignorance and stir in some self-pity add a batch of people that don‘t want to know you and pretend you give a ****.

 



Now that wasn‘t a very nice thing to say......whats wrong lorrie, having a hard time in rl, things not going good for you.....such anger.....smack the computer if it makes you feel any better.....


what‘s a matter deedee, won‘t chaos lift the ban?


Topic: First Holidays Alone
Subject: First Holidays Alone - Posted: 12/2/2008 9:11:09 AM
 drop us a line and let us know how you are.

Topic: Hey Don!
Subject: Hey Don! - Posted: 12/3/2008 5:00:08 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
lorrie wrote:
skylla wrote:
lorrie wrote:
BustyLaMoan wrote:
Are you cooking up something splendid from your garden for Thanksgiving?  Some kind of yam or squash?  You always have good recipes!  Spill Mister!  I am thinking time has passed on your garden goodies but perhaps you have a traditional recipe to share.


of course he does there busty.

mix alcohol with ignorance and stir in some self-pity add a batch of people that don‘t want to know you and pretend you give a ****.

 



Now that wasn‘t a very nice thing to say......whats wrong lorrie, having a hard time in rl, things not going good for you.....such anger.....smack the computer if it makes you feel any better.....


what‘s a matter deedee, won‘t chaos lift the ban?



Teehee.........Lorrie, I don‘t think it has anything any thing to do with Choadie.  Just think about it, DeeDee is over the top this holiday season!  She doesn‘t have to pay for Christmas with our tax dollars.  Sugar Daddy is back!  She can take her check to the casino and Hubby will foot Xmas this year. 


i didn‘t know wal-mart sold funiture? do they cash checks as well?

Topic: THE RIGHT WAY TO DEAL WITH A CHEATER
Subject: THE RIGHT WAY TO DEAL WITH A CHEATER - Posted: 12/3/2008 5:05:28 AM
so he‘ll change his voice mail message to
pure static so you‘ll think there‘s something
wrong with his phone

Topic: Happily everafter....
Subject: Happily everafter.... - Posted: 12/3/2008 7:33:25 AM

I think that is why there are men that truly love their wives, but "have" to cheat. The mother of his see child, his best friend, his life companion-he loves her because she is always there, he can trust and depend on her. And for the same reason he has to dart off and be unfaithful-to avoid feeling how dependable he is on her. Or else he will feel like hes boxed in, cant breathe.

yas, i have always thought of these types of men as mamma‘s boys. they want the wife for the "life" they want to live. they need a woman at home to run their lives and be in control of them while they pork weak woman they can string along forever.

 

 

 


Topic: what the **** is wrong with you?
Subject: what the **** is wrong with you? - Posted: 12/5/2008 4:29:25 AM
Rhiannon wrote:

I liked your post, Lorrie, and I agree with you. I know you started this thread a few months back, but there is a lot of honesty and truth in what you have written.  It‘s made for some pretty stimulating discussion here.

I‘m real late in coming to the party here.  For once, I won‘t bore everyone with my tales of abuse.  I think everyone pretty much knows my story already.

Taking the abuse factor completely out of it, and looking at my personality...

I would say that perseverance is my strong suit.  I am a person who wholeheartedly commits myself to a course of action - be it my career, keeping my bills paid, my parenting, and my horses.  I put everything I have into everything I do, and there is no such thing as doing anything halfway.  I am not always a quick starter, but I am definitely a great FINISHER.

I also not a "casual" person.  I either care a great deal (with passion and zest), or I don‘t care at all.  I will move heaven and earth for my friends and loved ones, and they know they can count on me.

Hard times really don‘t slow me down.  I am a firm believer that just about everything in life involves a lot of work, and I‘m willing to deal with a certain amount of crap in favor the big picture.  I think these beliefs have sometimes led me to put up with a helluva lot more crap than I really needed to, but that is hindsight.  I thought in marriage, for example, that you take the bad with the good.  Amazing how easy it is to rationalize.

All good qualities...all qualities that have paid off big time in my life...but have also turned out to be a major fault when carried to an extreme.

As you can imagine, all this passion and intensity makes for a very full and interesting life - and I see the world in all colors of the rainbow.  I see the good in everyone and everything.  And nobody is happier than me when I am "in love."

And my loving someone doesn‘t involve them doing anything to deserve it.

My problem isn‘t sticking with things and making them work.  My problem is knowing when to quit!  When to say "Enough already!!!!"  I become hooked on my goals and my "dreams" and I refuse to let go.  I usually won‘t let go until I am absolutely forced to.  I hate to give up. 

When I love someone, I love with my whole heart and soul, and I am not merely hurt when a relationship ends - I am devastated - and I don‘t get over it for a long, long time. 

I will say this, though.  There comes a point where you become sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I don‘t usually reach this realization until I have tried absolutely everything and I‘m just tired.  When I reach the end of the line with something, though, I am DONE.  There is no looking back after that point, and then it‘s like it‘s "easy" to let go because I am at peace knowing I tried everything.  When I finally let go, I really let go. 

For me, the life lesson is "letting go."  Letting go and moving on.  I need to learn better "quitting" lessons.

And no - I haven‘t met a man yet who has ever really changed.  I am not going to say it never happens.  I‘ll just say that it‘s never happened in my experience.

I did the on again/off again relationship with a practicing alcoholic and he came back in my life as recently as Valentines Day 2008.  He came bearing candy and flowers, promised me undying love, and wept in my arms, telling me how much he loved me, and how sorry he was for all the pain he‘d caused me.  I didn‘t immediately melt, but he seemed so sincere, and at long last, he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

I don‘t doubt - even now - that he really meant it this last time.  I gave him another chance (history) and suppose this time things turned out different (wishful thinking).  I should have known better, but I guess I wasn‘t willing to give up.

We made a good faith effort and there were some really wonderful times.  But he refused to stop drinking, he wasn‘t working, and basically, he was violating all the rules I‘d set down.  Alcohol wasn‘t allowed in my house, so he found all kinds of ways to be sneaky, and basically - you guessed it - I was just being a co-dependent enabler.  He was lying, and sneaking around, and I knew it.

One night (July 1) I just snapped, and I kicked him out of my house in the middle of the night.  I couldn‘t believe I was actually doing it, but I‘d just reached the point of no return.  He ended up walking out of here.  I felt bad later, but I just knew I had to do it.

He continued to call for two months, and tried everything to get back in my good graces.  Truthfully, I still really loved him, but I knew I‘d taken a stand, and I need to be DONE.  We‘d broken up many times before, but this was the first time I did it just for ME.

I do still miss him, but now I remember the bad things, and what didn‘t work.  I have no regrets for what I learned, but I now I am really, finally done.  I‘m not taking it personally anymore, because I do know I tried everything. 

Quitting is on my agenda!

 

 

 




Topic: what the **** is wrong with you?
Subject: what the **** is wrong with you? - Posted: 12/7/2008 3:00:48 AM

deedee? get my name out your mouth bitch.

if you are so happy with your dry drunk hubby then go and enjoy your life. why follow me around trying to prove you are happy? we beleive you when you say he has changed. i do not beleive he will stay changed. you are not required to keep proving to me, a stranger on the internet, the content of your household harmony.

to what purpose? you can better spend your time giving back to others that are in the boat you say you left. leave off me. i don‘t give a crap what he does or you for that matter.

got it??

 


Topic: what the **** is wrong with you?
Subject: what the **** is wrong with you? - Posted: 12/7/2008 12:13:52 PM
skylla wrote:
supermom21664 wrote:
skylla wrote:
supermom21664 wrote:
skylla wrote:
lorrie wrote:

deedee? get my name out your mouth bitch.

if you are so happy with your dry drunk hubby then go and enjoy your life. why follow me around trying to prove you are happy? we beleive you when you say he has changed. i do not beleive he will stay changed. you are not required to keep proving to me, a stranger on the internet, the content of your household harmony.

to what purpose? you can better spend your time giving back to others that are in the boat you say you left. leave off me. i don‘t give a crap what he does or you for that matter.

got it??

 



I have nothing to prove to you lorrie, nor to anyone else on the internet, I was only answering your question to your post......has any man really changed?  You are the one who started this thread.....I only responded to your question.

You seem to have a problem with my answer, for what reason I do not know, nor do I care. 

Now back to my prior post.....Thom was an abusive man who changed, re-read his Living Hell, choice or des........thread.  All I am saying is men can change, they have the choice to do so......I don‘t understand why that is so difficult for you to comprehend.  Just because your man didn‘t change, doesn‘t mean ALL men cannot change.

You seem to have a lot of unresolved anger......maybe its because of your x, maybe your childhood......I don‘t know......
But keep on smacking your computer if it makes you feel better.....you ole dry drunk.


Edit....one last thing, don‘t start a thread and expect everyone to agree with you....everyone has a right to their own opinions.  When you ask questions, be prepared for different answers.  

  


Yes Skylla, everyone has a right to their opinions. But you set your bridges on fire by talking sack about certain people while at DO and now you are back here hoping that they know notyhing about it. Life does not work that way Skylla. You stabbed WS members in the back and now you are back over here trying your very best to convince people how your husband has changed. This is why you are not receiving a warm welcome back.

As I have stated before, if your husband has changed then that is great. But you continually bringing it up only reinforces what I posted earlier in this thread that it makes me wonder if he has really changed. 



Supermom....There is nothing I haven‘t said at DO about certain people that I wouldn‘t say over here if asked.

And I am NOT trying to convince people how my husband has changed.   I know he has and that is all that matters.

I have NOT continualy brought the subject up.  I have answered lorries question from her original post...."Has any man really changed?"

I have posted not one but 2 men who has changed.  One being my husband and the other being Thom.....you seem to have a problem with that.   I am sure there are many others out there who have changed also......

Men can change and do change if they choose to, just as women can.  I‘m wondering why that so hard for you to believe?   Surely you can think of a man who has changed also, that was lorries question.




No Skylla, the problem that I have is you talking smack about people that tried to help you here. Then when this site is back up you come running back here hoping to to be welcomed with open arms.

Also when you continually bring up how wonderful your husband is right now that tends to make peolp believe that he has not changed and you are hiding the abuse. It is a typical tactic that victims use. As I stated before, if he has changed that is great however, in your previous post you said that he had stated that he would only quit drinking for himself that within itself tells me that he is a self centered person that is holding HIS anger and hatred inside and when it explodes it will have costly consequences.

Please go back to Do and read the post that I made to you about choices when you and Touche were fighting.



Supermom....You just don‘t quit.....:).....its ok, but after this post I will let you have the last word.....:).

My husband choice to quit drinking for himself, while we were separated.  Everyone knows when a person quits an addiction, they have to do it for themselves because they want to.....no one can make them quit....its a choice.  Quit trying to twist it and say he did it cause he was self-centered.  You are wrong.

He did it because he wanted to live, he wanted to be alive to see his youngest son grown, he wanted to be able to keep his job, as a truck driver you can‘t have alchole in your system....yes, he did it for himself, and I am proud of him for doing it.  And that does not make him selfish.  The results for him making the choice is what gave his family back to him, he is no longer abusive.  And we are all happy now......as a direct result of his choice.

You can‘t make someone quit drinking or abusing drugs....most people understand that.  If anything, he was being selfish when he was abusing alchole.

He is NOT holding any anger in, since to quit was his choice, so why would he explode someday in anger??  Anger and hatrerd for what?  The decision to quit was his alone.

  And as far as me going to DO to look up an old thread, I have no clue which thread you are talking about, and I have better things to do that to go searching.


we hear so f ing much about your old man that perhaps you should just have him join up here. christ!! he has to be more interesting then you and the douche, of a evening.

otherwise, you husband requires, and don‘t take my word for it, at least 9 to 15  meetings a week at this phase of his recovery from alcohol addiction.

the chances of success are quite low without AA and the 12 steps. the water wagon, the church, antabuse or any other method other then AA is imo, doomed to failure.

good luck to you both, now scat!!


Topic: what the **** is wrong with you?
Subject: what the **** is wrong with you? - Posted: 12/7/2008 12:37:13 PM
YellowEyes wrote:
shally wrote:
Rhi, your post reminded me of, T. D. Jakes, Let It Go.

It‘s worth posting again...

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don‘t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,you can‘ t make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn‘t mean that they are a bad person,it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you‘ve got to know when people‘s part in your story is over so that you don‘t keep trying to raise the dead.
You‘ve got to know when it‘s dead.
You‘ve got to know when it‘s over.
Let me tell you something I‘ve got the gift of good-bye.
It‘s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It‘s not that I‘m hateful, it‘s that I‘m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He‘ll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don‘t need it.

Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to somethingthat doesn‘t belong to you and was never intended for your life,then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!
If someone can‘t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET IT GO!!!
If you‘re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him...LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won‘t even try to help themselves..LET IT GO!!!
If you‘re feeling depressed and stressed .LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying ‘take your hands off of it,‘ then you need to...LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2009 !!!LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!




Hi Shally ( earlier post by Rhi)

I just want to say actually how true it is to be able to  just "let it go". I remember how painful it was for me when my abusive x left me, in a very cruel way and his cruel words. We had planned the future and wanted to marry and have kids and everything. Saying he loved me in 1 minute, the second after he slammed the door in my face a saturday night, alone with my bag I walked alone home in the rain while he suddenly didn´t care anymore. And how I prayed every night for weeks maybe months he´ll come back to me. I even sent hundreds of prayers over the internet for people to pray for me and him. It didn´t help and he didn´t come back. My prayers didn´t help no matter how much God saw my heart, no matter I prayed to God to go into his heart and protect him, to be around him and make him whole inside( I knew he was an abuser and maybe God could heal him) And I realize that if a person can walk away from us we should let them walk because it wasn´t ment to be our destiny. And the person who can walk away from us don´t love us and there is no need to struggle.

I have my whole adult life struggled thinking what if my loved one leaves me, just for no reason, am I loved and so on( but just in my head) and thinking I had to struggle inside wondering of this and that...and just to realize we don´t need to struggle, we just have to let it go...it´s hard..but I have learned that if someone join you and loves you they don´t leave you.

They would never abuse you, leave you, hurt you or make you cry. 

Thanks Shally for putting all of Rhi´s words out here again




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54Y3b_2OJE8


Topic: I wish it was Halloween again!
Subject: I wish it was Halloween again! - Posted: 12/8/2008 7:25:31 AM
spank me daddy.

Topic: what‘s your excuse?
Subject: what‘s your excuse? - Posted: 12/9/2008 10:55:54 AM

what‘s your excuse for staying married to a cheater?


Topic: how does child custody work?
Subject: how does child custody work? - Posted: 12/9/2008 11:01:32 AM
kimmy26 wrote:
Thanks so much.


i know its hard. you have to know your rights and stay strong till its done. it takes a few years to heal and as things evolve in your life and your life with your children, you will come to rely more and more on the separation agreement. get everything you can now. you won‘t regret it.

if your children are young you have to think about what happens to them if daddy gets a new "roomate". where will the visitation be conducted? will he be allowed to bring any man or woman he "likes" around your children?

food for thought.


Topic: prayers needed
Subject: prayers needed - Posted: 12/10/2008 4:37:14 AM

amen.

 

 


Topic: cowboypilot
Subject: cowboypilot - Posted: 12/10/2008 4:37:54 AM
no.

Topic: What´s the different really?
Subject: What´s the different really? - Posted: 12/10/2008 1:13:37 PM

pressure:

 a: the burden of physical or mental distress b: the constraint of circumstance : the weight of social or economic imposition

 

force:

1): strength or energy exerted or brought to bear

3: violence, compulsion, or constraint exerted upon or against a person or thing

 

 


Topic: the end
Subject: the end - Posted: 12/10/2008 1:50:30 PM

Police: Man kills his baby‘s mother, himself

A 19-year-old man shot and killed his baby‘s mother Monday afternoon, then drove three miles to his Miami Gardens home and fatally shot himself, police said.

The unidentified woman was found at a home in the 1200 block of Northwest 155th Lane. Not long after, Katae Alex Williams, 19, returned to his family‘s home in the 2500 block of Northwest 179th Street, where he took his own life in his bedroom.

Miami-Dade and Miami Gardens detectives were investigating. Williams had no criminal history, except an arrest for driving without a valid license.

Police called the deaths a case of domestic violence


Topic: What‘s your Christmas wish this year?
Subject: What‘s your Christmas wish this year? - Posted: 12/11/2008 5:39:58 AM

all i want for xmas is my income tax return. my two front teeth, an end to the war, peace on earth, the crush to spill his feelings, gods blessings on barak obama and clara to do well. 

p.s. if you can arrange for the first boy lucy has ever had feelings for to notice her that would be nice, i hope.


Topic: Womansavers convention?
Subject: Womansavers convention? - Posted: 12/16/2008 5:42:24 AM
not pissed wrote:
CaliforniaGirl wrote:
yasmina wrote:

A WS member that I respect very much wrote to me with a good point:

That by having a convention we put ourselves "out there" and made ourselves potential targets by letting out identies be known.

I see this, but....what do you think?



That has been brought up many times, but no one is looking for me.  Not Pissed will just have to bring her good ol‘ boys for our protection.


heck yeah!!!

 I think little miss should hold it at burnningman!

 

 

I just had the retirement party for my favorite victim‘s advocate :(

I am soooo sad, but I love the new one daddy hired! we got to talking about the website (I didn‘t have any cards on me)

I told him what I wanted with the website like the sex offender one we have in the states and he got all excited about the idea and said that if I could help him a little he would help me start a petition and get it out there!

We‘re going to go to lunch one day this week and talk somemore but.... I need to write this thing up so it‘s presentable and all so any volunteers????

what I want is the website to be set up like our as far as finding someone, but to get it sold, I can probably only have the guys with convictions for domestic violence. And when I say domestic violence I am wanting even guys that beat their mommas on there... but, truley would be happy if they did one with just intimate partner violence (IPV) I want it as accessible and as promoted as the sexoffender‘s site.

the petition should be in layman‘s terms so everyone can understand it. Anyone?!?!?!?



what a great idea. i hope you can include dead beat dads. many many women are looking for their child support from fathers working "under the table".

 


Topic: Womansavers convention?
Subject: Womansavers convention? - Posted: 12/16/2008 5:43:25 AM
evesdrop wrote:
Wait....I changed my mind.....I want to have it in CANADA....then I won‘t need to pay for a hotel....LOL....


i would love to see canada, toronto baby.

i wish you and your family a very happy, safe and fun holiday. best wishes at christmas eves.


Topic: Hello? Mod or LMWS?
Subject: Hello? Mod or LMWS? - Posted: 12/16/2008 5:48:11 AM

if you mean "underground shop", i went in that section and bumped up what i could, trying to bury the bull****.

i don‘t understand how they got so many threads going with the "five a day" limit.

what‘s up with that?


Topic: what‘s your excuse?
Subject: what‘s your excuse? - Posted: 12/16/2008 5:51:12 AM

nope. can‘t find an excuse. can‘t find a reason good enough, safe enough to give them another crack at emotional annilation.

beleive me i wish i could. when a man violates me, my love or my pride. its over.


Topic: you can have him-------
Subject: you can have him------- - Posted: 12/16/2008 5:57:13 AM
toogood4you wrote:
My ex and I have had our share of difficulties . We have been together since a very young age . And really only had each other......but there has been one particular woman I will call her the "toothfairy"  she is in the dental field. Instead of collecting teeth she collects married men like a game  & then laughs about it. She is an old  ugly skank but apparently is willing to do ANYTHING for a man because she has no self respect ...your basic manhole...she has a gutter mouth & hangs in bars with lots of men of whom she is "JUST FRIENDS‘ . She is leader of the pool league..how special..whatever she can do to hang with men .She has made my life hell for the past 3 years  since I found out of her affair with my husband. Once I confronted her with the affair she preceded to tell me how she knew all about me and did not care that he was married...she was the FUN in his life...me & our 3 kids he & I had together were apparently weighing him down...and she acted like she was some kind of saviour to him.  She was also VERY proud to let me know that he told her that he had the best sex in his life with her. She also gave me a few pointers..by saying I should learn to open my legs a little more & he wouldn‘t need her...also let me know how experienced she was satisfying men..WHAT a SKANK!! & spoken like a true whore. But she was kind in letting me know she wouldn‘t be keeping him becasue she didn‘t want to deal with child support payments he would owe my children..WOW how gracious she was.Of course he told me they were "JuST FRIENDS" ...sure.....They cut things off & we tried to rebuild our relationship ...when about 2 years latr we were having some problems because he began drinking heavily so the kids and I had to move out hoping he would get help...well, low and behold he went and looked her  upagain...she bought him a car....when I confronted him about it his excuse was he was hurt that I moved out & felt getting back with her was the best way to hurt me ....Wow ...now we are completely done...because it was all such crap...but yet he text me all the time saying how much he loves and wants me back ...I say no  & remind him that he can have her & they have my blessings.....but now that he isn‘t getting my attention & I don‘t care what he does..he can‘t stand it.  I think he is getting what he deserves & I am loving it~they deserve each other!


this sounds so familiar to me.

it‘s what they do.

don‘t take him back. he needs AA. alot of drunks find each other in pool halls and bar rooms. birds of a feather drink together. they share a fantasy life on a bar stool and little else. they seek non-judgemental company because they would rather die then look at what they have become.

i would have done violence to that skank and remember, never have sex with him again. he‘s got some nasty **** south of the border and she gave it to him.

now, get the child support and hope to hell it puts a crimp in her life style as well as his. if you do it right he won‘t have gas for his new car and she can pay for HIS kids, aahhh life will be fine again soon. hang in there.

 


Topic: In a dillema...
Subject: In a dillema... - Posted: 12/16/2008 6:06:15 AM

this is why a woman should never live with a man without being married to him.

i think you should move out and give them enough "rope to hang themselves".

he will take your moving out as rejection and try to turn it on you.

 he may even say you forced him into her arms. but believe me it will not take long for him to show up at your new place with an engagement ring.

he needs time to truly see that you are the one. its a risk but if he does  not settle this in his mind you will never be sure of him.

she‘s a bitch btw. she has a man and she is trying for yours. . she‘s a stinking greedy thief.


Topic: how does child custody work?
Subject: how does child custody work? - Posted: 12/16/2008 6:16:53 AM
kimmy26 wrote:
I have thought about it and I do not want him to have other women around her. (which i know he would). I do not trust him to do right by her. Financially he would. But as far as health, education, morals, and building her character I know he will not. She will be 9mo old. I do no trust his family because they back him up and do not acknowledge his behavior issues(cheating, lying, disrespectful, etc).


even prisoners get visitation. and he will get visitation. unless he is a convicted sex offender and then he will get supervised visitation.

i always offer to let them visit in my home while i stay in another room. if he gets the basics of changing her diaper and feeding her then you can step out to the store for about 20 mins.

be aware that he may snoop or steal while you are gone.

as for his family, they are the child‘s blood relatives and you need to make peace with at least one of them in order to facilate visitation at their house and make it easier to communicate the child‘s needs and requirements when you are not present.

there has to be someone that you can learn to trust because they are related to your child and this will not go away, ever. step one would be for you to stop bad mouthing him or saying his name to them at all. they will never ever acknowledge his faults so don‘t hold your breath. deal with what is now, today.

 use your sweet, indoor- voice and make them see sense.

hopefully in a few years he will drift off and marry someone else thus leaving you free to find a happier better life.

p.s. you might want to mention that anywhere, and i mean anywhere your toddler goes has to be completely "child-proof". any home with a pool, canal or lake, may have to be off limits for several years.

 


Topic: what is infidelity?
Subject: what is infidelity? - Posted: 12/16/2008 6:23:57 AM

In both cases I came back, met my wife and everything was fine inside me. I was not even thinking about the sex I had had. No regrets, nothing

you have more problems then being a lying whore-monger.

you have a mental disorder which i beleive is a "detachement" issue.

 perhaps from childhood.

you can not attach yourself to anyone completely because of some failure in your childhood.

you want what you want, for yourself alone and it begs the question, why the **** did you even get married?

seek professional help and do not try to **** your therapist unless she gives you a discount.

 


Topic: what the **** is wrong with you?
Subject: what the **** is wrong with you? - Posted: 12/17/2008 4:56:03 AM
secretive wrote:
I can relate to both sides. I use to be one of those women who thought "what the hell is wrong w/these idiots that stay w/men who hit them?" I realy did not get it. I was always an independant woman, i lived on my own and supported myself since 17 into my twenties. Well 4 yrs ago i began a relationship and after a while we married. I‘ve been married 1 1/2 yrs so far and have two boys under 4. Well, now im one of those women, pretty much. After the marriage, i noticed husband had a drinking problem and thats when things would get out of hand. It doesnt happen on a daily basis, like over his food being cold or something like that. Its when he comes home drunk and i say something to piss him off, one thing can lead to another and in the past it has become pysical. I guess i just blame it on the drinking and think if he‘d leave that alone we‘d be fine. But he doesnt leave it alone. I dont know what it is, i think i want to leave all the time, but i dont. I guess since my abuse doesnt happen a lot,  i kind of forget about it until it happens again. Then i think im leaving, thats it, i dont need this and my kids dont need to live in a home like this. Then things are calm again and i just kind of ‘put leaving on hold‘ and wait.



Topic: Christmas!
Subject: Christmas! - Posted: 12/17/2008 5:38:15 AM

only 7 shopping days left.


Topic: What would you do?
Subject: What would you do? - Posted: 12/17/2008 5:46:44 AM
lorrie wrote:
Uncle Don wrote:

Well, you DO tend to bring it on yourself.
Sorry, I‘ve taken to calling things as I see them.
As for your wife, I wish her luck in her recovery.

I would have to agree with you.  Karma bus is a bitch.  No problem with calling them as you see them.  I admire your straight forwardness and not like others making fun and taking pokes at me.  I thank you for your wishing her well.



pity party for one. pity party for one now being seated in the lounge over at the ****house chat room.

 




Topic: Christmas!
Subject: Christmas! - Posted: 12/17/2008 5:49:34 PM
Tiredmomma wrote:
lorrie wrote:

only 7 shopping days left.



I‘m DONE! lol done buying and done wrapping! Now I just want the 25th to roll around so I can watch the kids open their presents!

TM


amen. lucy‘s a lucky girl this year. can‘t wait. i have the camera ready.

Topic: My First Physically-Mentally-Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Subject: My First Physically-Mentally-Emotionally Abusive Relationship - Posted: 12/18/2008 9:54:08 AM
tstewart22 wrote:
Hello all.

I‘ve never been on anything like this before.  I‘ve never truly opened up about what happened to me.  Is happening to me.

I hope that maybe my sharing this story will help someone else realize that they are worth more and that they don‘t deserve to stay in any relationship that is abusive in ANY way, shape or form.

Here goes.

I met a guy while out partying with my friends 2.5 yrs ago.  He was gorgeous (and I mean literally gorgeous to the point where almost all guys and girls that laid eyes on him began to salavate).  I had remembered his catching my eye in other random places before.  The catch, my friend knew him. When he approached me and started a convo I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.  Wow, what a babe.  I found out that he was an editor, model and worked with a "film company".  

We started dating and over the course of a few months his sweet, kind, caring, attentive personality began to show significant flaws.

In the end I realize that it was over the course of time that his abuse escalated from verbal to physical.

He began to call me names like bitch, whore, piece of ****, worthless, ****, you get the idea.  He then began to push me when we would have disagreements and from that point the physical abuse became intense.

He would disappear for nights at a time because he was out doing cocaine and partying then would reappear crying and claiming how much he hated himself for all the things that he‘d done and how out of control his life is.
He always said that he wanted to make things right and would change and never do it again.

One time, after a night of his partying and disappearing he called me while i was out with my friends and said that he wanted to talk to me NOW and that it was important.

Once I got into the house with him he threw me down the 3 stairs that were in front of the door.  He grabbed me by the hair and started banging my head against the tile.  He started punching my head and kicking me in the sides, spitting on me and calling me names.  I tried to fight back but there‘s only so much a 110 lb girl can do to a 200 lb guy.   After about five minutes of this he stopped after seeing my face start to bruise and immediately started crying saying that he was sorry and didn‘t mean it.  He began to ask how I was? If I was ok? Excuse me, are you serious? Am I ok? Of course im not you psycho! He just kept pleading.  Saying that he would go to counseling and please give him a chance to change.  He didn‘t mean it.  He loves me!  Can you imagine what I was thinking after he did what he did to me and then started to say he loved me? 

After a few weeks went by he started making comments here and there when we would get in little disputes saying that I was lucky he doesn‘t give me an ass beating like before.  

Everything there after has pretty much been a yo-yo of this scenario.  

If you have ever been on the receiving end of anything like this.  Stop and get help now.


 i an sad to hear that once again, drugs and alcohol have destroyed another life. i wonder, do you have children?

Topic: Happy Holidays and Thank You!
Subject: Happy Holidays and Thank You! - Posted: 12/19/2008 4:23:59 AM
Angel007 wrote:
As another year comes to closure, I find myself reflecting upon past experiences.  I am so very fortunate to have met some wonderful people on this site; who have endured with me, very difficult hardships.  I really don‘t think I could have survived without the emotional support from many of you.  My mind and spirit dwindled as well as my physical being spiralling downhill to almost a non-existent state. You made me cry, laugh and even, bellydance and helped to restore my passion of living and loving life, more importantly, believing in myself again.  I even got force-fed with  tempting goodies electroncially by you! Thank you for sharing your personal and painful experiences
and teaching me such valuable lessons and for being a
true inspiration.  Please know that you remain in loving thoughts and graditude.  Rhi, for your gentleness and wisdom....Dreamer, your strength and diligence....Lorrie, your amazing wit and straighforwardness, and dear Cali, whose passion and positive energy can shine a light at the end of a dark tunnel.  You‘ve all been such a comfort to me. Truly and wholehearted, I must give deepest thanks to the originator of this site, who unselfishly has devoted an incredible resource of support and education with such love and care, to those in need.  There are many more that has provided comforting words of encouragement and friendship and I do thank you as much.

Have a Happy Holiday and Thank You!


i‘m so glad to hear from you and wish you the best for the coming new year.


Topic: Your Working Day?
Subject: Your Working Day? - Posted: 12/19/2008 4:50:04 AM
Momof4 wrote:
I wake up at 4 normally-so I can have my alone time before my day begins. I have my coffee, and catch up on the computer. (I‘ve been up since 3 because I don;t feel well-my throat is sore, and my ear hurts)
My daughter gets up at 5, takes a shower and gets packed up and ready for school. My husband gets up at 5:30, and gets ready to leave for work. 
6am-the boys get up and take showers
6:30am-Husband leaves for work on the side-if he‘s in the FH he‘s been gone for an hour
7am-daughters bus leaves
8am two older boys get on the bus

all that while I cooked 3 different breakfasts.

Ok now it‘s the baby and me-he‘s 3 so at 9:30 I need to drop him at preschool. 

I then usually go food shopping, stay at the church and assist in office work for the school and outreach. Sometimes I come home and hang out on the computer for a little while. 

Laundry, I do probably 4-7 loads a day. 
Bathrooms-I have 3, so each day one gets cleaned thoroughly, could be more, depending on what they look like.
dogs-2 of them-they both need separate walks, and the Shepherd needs to run for a mile or two.

Home-feed and water dogs, cat, birds and clean two bird cages. 

11:45am-pick up the baby from school, bring him home, make him lunch, and put on Noggin for him to watch while he eats. 

12:30 baby takes a nap-I do some more laundry and get into my workout clothes

1:00 do my weight workout or aerobics, depending on what day it is

2:00 take a shower

2:30 start thinking about dinner, defrost meat, chop vegetables...

2:45-daughter comes home-she does homework and complains that there‘s no food in the house

3:30 boys come home-unless there‘s orchestra or chorus then I pick them up at 4pm. They do homework upon arrival home

4:30-dinner is cooking and we‘re getting ready to eat.
 5pm dinner on table, we eat as fast as we can.

5:30-leave the house-wrestling, football, cheerleading, religion, scouts. Pick one-we have something every night, sometimes 2 things.

6:30-7 husband comes home, calls me, gets his dinner together, and eats and plays with the baby. Daughter gets back to studying until her dad finishes dinner. 

8-9pm, I get home, daughter has put baby to bed, husband is studying, I put boys to bed and I go to sleep after seeing what‘s up on the computer and making sure the dogs have gone out again.  

Damn. I‘m tired. 





you need to join the union.

Topic: Where can I get help???
Subject: Where can I get help??? - Posted: 12/19/2008 5:21:42 AM
marabelm wrote:

Long story short- my husband has an additction to porn. It‘s been going on for 7 years. It is tearing me aparty and it is destroying our marriage. He‘s gone to a few to addiction support group meetings. Sometimes I think he wants to quit and other times, I think he just wants me to accept it. 

Anyway- I need help. We are broke. No money for rent, let alone therapy. (I have two young children and a third on the way.) Online there aren‘t really any support groups for this sort of thing- just message boards that get posts once every few weeks.

I read up on Al-anon, but that seems to be mainly for families of recovering alcoholics. 

I‘m feeling really alone here and just want to find someone to talk/write to that has had to deal with an addicted spouse.  Anyone have any ideas?



i reccomend you look thru the sections, then the posts and find a member called "uberbioch" she looks like the disney character malifocent and click the button marked "send a note". she may be able to help you.

i‘d say go to a shelter or have him out. if you get divorced you can get free health care, food stamps and apply for the waiting list called section 8, low cost, goverment housing. none of which you can qualify for while married as they will consider his income in the equation.

get shut of him honey, he‘s killing you, albeit slowly.


Topic: In a dillema...
Subject: In a dillema... - Posted: 12/20/2008 1:51:29 PM

Listen not to what they say.  Watch what they do.  Men can talk until the cows come home, but it is their actions that prove how much they love you - more than their words. 

 


Topic: Your Working Day?
Subject: Your Working Day? - Posted: 12/20/2008 1:56:02 PM
Chade wrote:
CaliforniaGirl wrote:
supermom21664 wrote:

5am check the obits in the local paper to make sure I have not died.

 



  I should start doing that.  I could call into work dead!

 

My day is easy compared to all the moms out there.



Wow, my days are easy, too, compared to yours.  My son is grown and out of the house and it‘s just me, the parrot and the kittens.  Up at 5:30 or 6, coffee and internet, feed the critters, shower and stuff.  My work days start at different times: 7:45 on Monday, 8 or 8:30 the rest of the week and I live three miles from work in a small town.  Off work at 5:15 except Friday, off at 6:15 on Friday.  Since I live alone, I can please myself for meals and house keeping.  Recently, I bought two rentals and spent every weekend and evening for a couple of months painting, repairing and shopping at Lowe‘s.  The houses are both done and rented now, so I had a little relax time shock when one evening I got home and didn‘t have to pick up a hammer, paint brush or screw gun.  I‘m now getting some serious video game and relax time in.

I‘m pretty sure I‘m not in the obits today.



i always see the most attractive men at lowe‘s and home depot. don‘t you?

Topic: Too Funny!! Go pee before reading!!!
Subject: Too Funny!! Go pee before reading!!! - Posted: 12/21/2008 3:08:29 AM

just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this
 might be Grandpa‘s last Christmas at home.


Topic: This site is my last hope
Subject: This site is my last hope - Posted: 12/21/2008 3:11:51 AM

 wow your inbox must be full of spam by now.

imo, it takes two years. hang in there.

can you tell us alittle more about this, perhaps talking will help?

and there are lots of "girls" here and some are friends.


Topic: chat room?
Subject: chat room? - Posted: 12/22/2008 5:20:33 AM
any idea when the chat room will be open?

Topic: hey tula
Subject: hey tula - Posted: 12/22/2008 6:23:15 AM

crank it up lady!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJo3w66JorM


Topic: did you forget something?
Subject: did you forget something? - Posted: 12/22/2008 6:47:28 AM

my mind turns to mending fences at this time of the year.

is there someone in your life, or out of your life for that matter, that you need to mend fences with?

do you agree that xmas is the time of year for this very errand?

i had a co-worker bring me a gift yesterday as the rush was winding down. i refused to accept the gift and inquired if she would like to apologize to me.

she said no.

i said: stick it up your ass then.

later i asked her again if she wanted to apologize and this time she said yes.

we  mended our fences.

what i don‘t think she understands is that i want to keep the fence. its mended, for me to keep her on the other side.

are you owed an apology? will you give one you owe this season?

 

 

 

 


Topic: hey tula
Subject: hey tula - Posted: 12/22/2008 5:51:17 PM
just beautiful. thanks for that.

Topic: Role Model
Subject: Role Model - Posted: 12/23/2008 6:51:18 AM
as you are now officially my role model i suggest you quit slacking off.

Topic: Holiday Wishes
Subject: Holiday Wishes - Posted: 12/23/2008 6:56:22 AM

Subject: Holiday Wishes

my wish is that you will get treatment from a doctor that passed his boards, have your medication modified and rediscover your love of cross-dressing, including your penchant for skirtzs.

 


Topic: did you forget something?
Subject: did you forget something? - Posted: 12/23/2008 7:04:47 AM
Momof4 wrote:
That‘s a really good point. There are several fences I have broken, but until the major two apologize to me-they can stay behind them.

My step mother-had my fathers unveiling without me. Didn‘t let me know when it was until afterwards, even though I told her the day she had it that mr m had surgery and I couldn‘t make it.
I was his only child, and she left me out. 

My birth mother has disconnected herself from me, when she heard that I was having a 4th child. We were having financial issues, and so was she, and she couldn‘t care less about me, my family, or my problems. I did send her a christmas card with the kids pictures on it. 3 weeks ago-she hasn‘t called, so she can kiss my ass-her only grandchildren don‘t need her as much as she needs them. 

Let my two spinster sisters take care of her with her ms.


some of the tools i learned in recovery dictate that i live without resentments.

this requires a "personal inventory" at the end of each day. which i avoid at all costs until i am almost asleep.

never the less, there is no avoiding my own personal inventory as the new year looms.

any resentments must be examined to determine how i am not only wrong in most situations but i am the instigator as well, all most always.

naturaly, i detest this.


Topic: Hello? Mod or LMWS?
Subject: Hello? Mod or LMWS? - Posted: 12/23/2008 7:06:55 AM
EuropeanGirl wrote:
Momof4 wrote:
lorrie wrote:

if you mean "underground shop", i went in that section and bumped up what i could, trying to bury the bull****.

i don‘t understand how they got so many threads going with the "five a day" limit.

what‘s up with that?



Well, they‘ve probably been members for a long time-either that or the 5 post limit isn‘t working either.

Shock and awe. 


The five post limit is working for me.




and here i thought it was working for me.

Topic: Could the OW be your husband‘s sister?
Subject: Could the OW be your husband‘s sister? - Posted: 12/23/2008 7:15:57 AM
solome wrote:
I first thought this too.  Close families seem to be able to cross over where others don‘t, however, if the wife has to sit by and watch this cozy situation, I just feel she must be just a little uneasy with the idea of the two of them preparing meals together - leaving her out of the picture.  Women and men think differently about cooking.  Men do it for a hobby or just for fun, women do it as one of their prime needs.  Doesn‘t the couple have priority over a guest when it comes to cooking in their own home?


then go into the kitchen and stand at the sink. every single time she is there. stay there in the kitchen till they start giving you jobs to do. master the jobs that they give you.

 then you take the job of cooking  away from her.

they are very close siblings. that‘s all. i think its grand.

 my mil and her brother cook huge meals for 20 people every major holiday and they are in their 70‘s now. i envy the way they work around her kitchen without any mis-steps or accidents. every meal they make is hot and yummy.

you can be a part of this lovely nourshing tradition with his family, if you care to try.


Topic: The Most Terrifying Words
Subject: The Most Terrifying Words - Posted: 12/23/2008 7:17:58 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
Maybe change is the wrong word then.  Maybe we should just say that men have a behavior modification?  The tendencies are there.  But effective consequences have altered their actions.


damn, your‘re good.

Topic: He don´t regret it
Subject: He don´t regret it - Posted: 12/23/2008 7:21:04 AM
YellowEyes wrote:
CaliforniaGirl wrote:

You are addicted to this man for some reason.  You know he is not right for you.  You need to think long and hard.  You agree with everything we say, but at this point, you are not willing to give up on this man.  You have to ask yourself why.  What happened to you that you believe you cannot let go of him?

We can only help you as much as you want to be helped.



I need to do some thinking why I go with this man, I know it´s not love, so there has to be a reason I do not know.
I will use time very soon to start thinking about this you say, why and I hope it will give me some answers. I believe if I do find the answer it might be what it takes to take the first step out of this circle.

I have asked myself what have happened to me why I do this, because this is something new to me that I don´t understand. I remember the first time I spent the night there I didn´t feel like I was me. I have never had this character before. I need to ask myself many questions why and how this has become like it has. I know one thing, that if I stop going there I will be very lonely again and that feeling scares me, it feels like I´m existing among people but alone. This besides I feel I let him down if I don´t go. And maybe what I do think the reason is isn´t the reason at all. I really don´t know what is with me.

Thanks for giving me thoughts of researching myself, it´s needed really. I know this isn´t good for me, it´s taken my energy and I get symptoms, my stomach turns when I get message from him sometimes because I know it will be a new night, I must have space and get out of this.


its because you are deeply lonely.

there is something about yourself you do not want to know, or can not yet face and you want someone else‘s drama to distract you.

 


Topic: what‘s your excuse?
Subject: what‘s your excuse? - Posted: 12/23/2008 7:25:08 AM
still over.

Topic: Interesting facts......
Subject: Interesting facts...... - Posted: 12/23/2008 3:23:19 PM

Topic: Could the OW be your husband‘s sister?
Subject: Could the OW be your husband‘s sister? - Posted: 12/23/2008 6:25:24 PM
Momof4 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
solome wrote:
I first thought this too.  Close families seem to be able to cross over where others don‘t, however, if the wife has to sit by and watch this cozy situation, I just feel she must be just a little uneasy with the idea of the two of them preparing meals together - leaving her out of the picture.  Women and men think differently about cooking.  Men do it for a hobby or just for fun, women do it as one of their prime needs.  Doesn‘t the couple have priority over a guest when it comes to cooking in their own home?


then go into the kitchen and stand at the sink. every single time she is there. stay there in the kitchen till they start giving you jobs to do. master the jobs that they give you.

 then you take the job of cooking  away from her.

they are very close siblings. that‘s all. i think its grand.

 my mil and her brother cook huge meals for 20 people every major holiday and they are in their 70‘s now. i envy the way they work around her kitchen without any mis-steps or accidents. every meal they make is hot and yummy.

you can be a part of this lovely nourshing tradition with his family, if you care to try.



Shit, Lor, why screw it all up by HELPING?? Christ, I‘d love to just let it happen then eat.

I‘m one lazy arse person, huh?


i think you must be. your left boob has fallen out of your dress, yet you do nothing about putting it back in

Topic: wanting to adopt
Subject: wanting to adopt - Posted: 12/24/2008 5:25:30 AM
ninainwa wrote:

Me and my husband have been trying to have a baby for over 4 years, and we know that there are many women out there, who would want a better home for a baby. And we could do this. I don‘t know how to do this, without going through an adoption agency. I would like to do, what my sister did. She knew someone who wanted a better home for there baby and did a release, of course legally with paperwork and at the hospital. Which took out the adoption agency part. We can definatly give our history and home information to anyone who wants to give a home to a baby. We will do a criminal background and any background to make this adoption easier. Please email me if you have any questions : ninainwa@yahoo.com

If you know a website or other way of going through this, please let me know.

thanks



you may not need an agency to adopt your baby but you do need a lawyer. good luck.

Topic: Looking For Advice
Subject: Looking For Advice - Posted: 12/24/2008 5:38:04 AM

, there were several nights that I came to and he was having sex with me or doing things to me. I pretended to be asleep

do you mean that you were passed out from drugs or alcohol? because that‘s a different issue.

i think you should  not have anymore sleepovers with men. period.

 


Topic: ‘Tis‘ the night before christmas........
Subject: ‘Tis‘ the night before christmas........ - Posted: 12/25/2008 3:11:20 AM
merry chistmas to all. and now good night. mushy mushy

Topic: President
Subject: President - Posted: 12/25/2008 3:17:57 AM
EuropeanGirl wrote:
I would heavily tax tobacco as well.

I would make going to university a privilege and NOT a right.  Too many graduates are devaluing the cache of being a graduate and too many student are graduating in subjects that don‘t need to be studied at degree level.
Golf course management, Leisure and Tourism, Marketing, Journalism, and critical writing. 

 


i‘d wager that alcohol, tabacco and gasoline are already tax more then half the true cost.

i bet that a 4.00 pack of cigs is under 1.75 before the tax.

and please ask momo who the hell is gonna raise all those unwanted children?

if you make it a law that parents have to raise their children, please let me know as i am sure the jail will be hiring more guards soon.


Topic: Dumped by a loser no less (update)
Subject: Dumped by a loser no less (update) - Posted: 12/25/2008 3:23:26 AM
francessa wrote:
Thank you for the response. Deep down inside I knew I was better off without him, but hearing it  from others makes it stick. I always ask myself "why do I miss him" and come up with nothing. I will admit my self esteem is at a all time low. 

I feel so stupid because of all I did for him. He worked down the street from me. Once a week I would do his laundry and either drop it off at work or bring it with me when we got together, I would bring him a home cooked meal at work. All of this and he never offered to help with the cost of anything. When I told him I kinda felt used, his response was"you‘re a good cook". For months I listened to him complain about being passed up at work until he finally got the big promotion. I feel that since he moved up he‘s gotten so arrogant. What I don‘t understand is why the underlying cruelty. When we were still on speaking terms he would mention he had plans to see his ex, and when he saw her he he told me he was actually happy. I was crushed. I still spoke to him after, and even went to congratulate him at his new location. The next day he texted at 9 am saying wait for him to call because his ex was coming with her 18 and 13 year olds. Again crushed. I don‘t understand why he felt he had to tell me all that. He knew how I felt about him, and I never said anything negative to him about him. I‘m not in denial but I have to say a part of me doesn‘t believe he‘s actually seeing his ex. Why would a grown women travel to another county to see a man in a tiny one bedroom apt with a 18 and 13 yr old. Second he hates the county she lives in because of his past with crime and so called friends which all used him. She has  filed a false domestic violence claim against him, left him before he went to jail. He‘s told me know one was there before jail, no calls or visitors for 2 years, and release day no one. I‘m wondering if he just didn‘t want to see me anymore and made up  the I‘m seeing my ex. Pieces of his story doesn‘t add up. Sorry for being so long winded, I haven‘t told anyone in details about him because I was ashamed. It feels good to let it out, I‘m one of those people who likes to put puzzles together.  This guy grabbed me and I‘m still hurting. I plan on getting back to my old confident self. In time I know I will. Your words made me smile today.


if the accusation of domestic violence against him was false why did he do time for it and why would he want to take a chance and spend time with the woman that accused him before? so she can do it again?

leave off this loser. christ, get away from him. you are wasting your time.


Topic: what is infidelity?
Subject: what is infidelity? - Posted: 12/25/2008 3:39:35 AM
seller62 wrote:

Thank you all for your opinion and your suggestions,

yesterday night it was very cold and me and my dear wife stayed all night long in the bed, talking sweetly to each other, making fun of each other, laughing and petting like two babies.

It was wonderful, we talked about our future, we will always be together, have babies and be the happiest people on the face of the earth.......

You women are so angry.....why? Initially I thought you were angry at me because I treat my wife in a "different" way....but now I realize why...you are angry because you know that, even though all I said, me and my wife are happy and will be always happy. In the mean time you moralist women will be always angry, angry against something you cannot change, angry against your life that is not satisfying you.

I understand, many of you are old and ugly, most of you are fat, many of you are bulimic and all of you hate that me and my wife are happy and will have babies and a wonderful life!

I am sorry, but...."that‘s the way it is"....

Salute



you want to see angry. tell your wife what you have been up to and you are gonna see angry dude.

i hope she pukes on you.

i personally do not care who you **** with behind your wife‘s back and i hope you realize that she has been ****ing three sailors and a donkey while you were gone.

whatt????

 

 get over to the nearest AA meeting. take your bottle of whiskey over there and explain to them that they are angry about YOUR drinking and see if they care.

 


Topic: I need a hummer....
Subject: I need a hummer.... - Posted: 12/25/2008 3:42:28 AM

hhhhhhhmmmmmm  hhhhmmmmmmmm

hhhhmmmmm


Topic: Abusive relationship AGAIN!
Subject: Abusive relationship AGAIN! - Posted: 12/25/2008 3:48:41 AM

the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expectinng different results.

you can not fix these losers, trash him and move on sweetie.

there are plenty of fish in the sea. hook em, look em over and cut the line, don‘t boat anymore losers.

think of this as a learning experience. you are getting to be an expert on spoting losers before you take your thong off.


Topic: QUALIFICATIONS
Subject: QUALIFICATIONS - Posted: 12/26/2008 2:02:02 PM
http://www.womansavers.com/representatives.asp

Topic: Scared for the first time
Subject: Scared for the first time - Posted: 12/27/2008 2:31:13 AM

He have been bullying me telling me I have done things, sent bad messages to him and bla bla when in fact I haven´t done anything he says, it´s just to bully me emotionally, saying I´m sorry if you hurt. Yeah right. And further how much he loves me no matter what happens. Crap or he wouldn´t make up stories to bully me and harass me with lies. He´s not ever gonna get the chance to be a bully to me. No more sympathy!

 

 


Topic: Do you think husband is cheating?
Subject: Do you think husband is cheating? - Posted: 12/27/2008 2:33:47 AM
goneal wrote:

     I would appreciate any advice, thoughts, or comments.

     My husband and I have been married for two years.  Previously he was married for 23 years and I was married for 18 years.  We were both cheated on by our ex-spouses.

     Our



so you knew he was a cheater when you married him?

Topic: adultery
Subject: adultery - Posted: 12/27/2008 3:02:11 AM
browneyez54 wrote:

         

     Hi thee, Iam a 54 year old woman I have been married for 32 years and all of a sudden my huisband tells me he is moving out because he loves aomeone else and it is not a woman it is a man and he said I am moving in with him because he cant live this way no more and he waited until our kids where married off. He is 51 yrs old and I cant stop thinking about him or loving him it has been 5 months sence he left and I cant stop thinking about him but when he left he did not leave me anything no car no money no self asteim no nothing. now all of a sudden he is taking all his kids out for dinner tomarrow for our youngest birthday and he told them not to invite your mother I am not paying for her and I am bringing my live in. So what do you think about that? I am cring and so upset that I cant think streight or even stop crying about. After 32 years I can not beleive it .



i‘m so sorry. i know it hurts.

there isn‘t much you can do but wait.

he has to give you half of everything. see a lawyer as soon as possible.

the children will figure him out and shun him, and soon.

i am sorry for your loss. and it is a loss. he‘s betrayed you and the fact that he feels justified in doing so is alarming.

stick around, we understand.


Topic: QUALIFICATIONS
Subject: QUALIFICATIONS - Posted: 12/28/2008 2:18:45 AM
Momof4 wrote:
evesdrop wrote:
Momof4 wrote:
Reps are people in different states that are supposed to "be there" for people in their area.

I‘ve yet to be called upon for gatz. 

Who‘s questionable? You may want to contact LMWS for assistance. 


Be there for someone in your area...how??

As far as who‘s questionable...well those are just my thoughts....maybe other people would disagree, so I think it‘s best to keep that to meeself....LOL...

P.S. It‘s NOT you Momo.....I love you.....how was your family‘s Holiday?? Happy Holiday to Lorrie and Lucy too!!



Lol! On the rep menu-it will send an email to the person you think lives closest. I think. What it was about the 2 years ago when I became a rep, has probably gone with the wind or whatever came and took most of the good things about this site away.

Of course, Mine says I live on Christmas Island-I doubt there‘s many people there-it ought to leave your real state listed, right?

Of course if you ask some of the people that dislike me-they have my home address, and my schedule that was posted around the net, but here, I live on Christmas Island. Before that-I lived in Afghanistan.

I‘m thinking of moving to Italy next. Good food. Hot men. 




now what kind of friend would i be if i let you move to italy all alone?

Topic: Scared for the first time
Subject: Scared for the first time - Posted: 12/28/2008 2:20:49 AM
YellowEyes wrote:
lorrie wrote:

He have been bullying me telling me I have done things, sent bad messages to him and bla bla when in fact I haven´t done anything he says, it´s just to bully me emotionally, saying I´m sorry if you hurt. Yeah right. And further how much he loves me no matter what happens. Crap or he wouldn´t make up stories to bully me and harass me with lies. He´s not ever gonna get the chance to be a bully to me. No more sympathy!

 

 



I know Lorrie, but still people fails. I think it will get better soon, he acts different than before, I guess he does because he feels he lose control over me. Like he had not slept for two days now because I had been sick. Like that is something normal to say to me.  He show other sides of himself. He does other stuff or sleeping away his "craving/demanding time "when to see me/I want to see you" for so to call me in the middle of the night even I have just told him I´m tired and have gone to bed. I didn´t take his call. I guess there will come a time soon where I will be able to not feel sorry for him even the fact he´s not on his best behavior now. I have come to understand he don´t respect/care what I say and that he have no intentions to stay friends with me and stay that way. I thought he would understand in the end, but you were right, he don´t or more right to say he wont. Think I have told him 10 times soon. It´s infact insane, even I´ve said I´m only friends he say I make excuse not to have intercourse with him because he`s not divorced yet. It´s not normal at all. I understand he wont change no matter what I say.


oh sweetie, he will change. his address. to the jail.

Topic: I guess I just need to vent
Subject: I guess I just need to vent - Posted: 12/28/2008 2:44:21 AM

change the locks. lock him out.

be prepared to call the police if he tries any "break and enter".

since he seems to beleive that he has not made a decision about his marriage, remind him. adultry is a firm decision, to leave.

have him out.

he wants someone else. i know it hurts. but there it is. he went to her, he sleeps with her, he has sex with her.

he belongs to her now.

make it official and final.

in the future if he changes you can always get back with him. not now.

the baby stays with you. make sure you get full physical custody.

you need for him to see in black in white the finality of what he has done.

he made his bed, at her house, he can go and lie in it.

get shut of him, legally.

sorry to tell you but getting shut of him emotionally will take about two years.

in the meantime, do not fall for his "confusion" or his "guilt.

just use his guilt to your advantage in the separation agreement.

its over. way over. he has shown me what a coward he is and i don‘t even know him.

imagine a man that can leave a baby alone with no father!!

always remember and never forget: THAT IS WHO HE REALLY HIS!!

YOU HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE IN YOUR CHOICE OF PARTNER!!

continue therapy to see how you have failed to see the true characterists of the men you fall in love with.

good luck.


Topic: Thoughts please.
Subject: Thoughts please. - Posted: 12/28/2008 3:03:43 AM
tula1969 wrote:
shelbelle wrote:
beautifultrees wrote:

I dated a man for over a year, I noticed two things that were to me weird, and therefore I need your thoughts.  He always took baths and never used the shower. (I have a stand-alone shower) and he always sat on the toilet to urinate, he never stood up.  It that weird or what?

 

 

 



if thats all that you find wierd about him thats not so bad!


 Wellaimedpees

Always sat on the bog???

I‘d say fair play that he was doing it in the right room

 




Topic: Thoughts please.
Subject: Thoughts please. - Posted: 12/28/2008 2:07:03 PM
Reba wrote:

What happened to the original post?

I too think it‘s strange when a man sits to pee!



 didn‘t everyone squat for centeries before mankind discovered indoor plumbing?

i understood that is why the indians used to move camp with the changing seasons. the place stank??

but i think if a man sits down to pee, it means he is gay.


Topic: I need a hummer....
Subject: I need a hummer.... - Posted: 12/29/2008 6:46:05 AM
learning wrote:

Well, how dare they not even offer!  The nerve.  They‘ll come around, I‘m sure.  Be patient.

Here‘s my question, though:  If Dirk‘s the giver and you‘re the receiver, who‘s gay?

 

 



 

in the south its only the catcher that‘s gay.


Topic: Should I tell her
Subject: Should I tell her - Posted: 12/29/2008 6:48:27 AM

should i tell you this is the men‘s section? the one where men ask woman for advice?


Topic: Abusive relationship AGAIN!
Subject: Abusive relationship AGAIN! - Posted: 12/29/2008 7:48:28 AM

 They often seem like the "nicest" people when you meet them.

nice people are phony. that‘s my two cents.

and oddly, all round me, i see people getting ****ed over by the very people they call "nice".

 


Topic: Where can I get help???
Subject: Where can I get help??? - Posted: 12/29/2008 8:11:15 AM

Anyway- I need help. We are broke. No money for rent, let alone therapy. (I have two young children and a third on the way.) Online there aren‘t really any support groups for this sort of thing- just message boards that get posts once every few weeks

 

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhtporn


Topic: Girls best friend
Subject: Girls best friend - Posted: 12/29/2008 9:18:13 AM

a good bra.

good underwear and nighties. sexy spanks.

good pedi.

juicy creamy  healthy salad

warm yummy gooey soup

a working, clean handgun

a shiny new sexy truck loaded with fuel and massive packs of marlboros.

mr. coffee

the perfect hair 

 shaped, pruned, trimmed eyebrows.

 


Topic: Cheating with my ex-husband
Subject: Cheating with my ex-husband - Posted: 12/29/2008 9:32:47 AM

What do I do? I know he is not happy, and I know he feels stuck. I have him in my thoughts 24/7 and I don‘t know what to do. For me, walking away is not an options

relax. he will go back to prison again and all your problems will be solved.


Topic: Why can‘t I break his Spell ? It‘s crazy ! I know what he is ! :-(
Subject: Why can‘t I break his Spell ? It‘s crazy ! I know what he is ! :-( - Posted: 12/30/2008 6:14:52 PM

go out for a shampoo and a mani/pedi and he will have someone else before your polish has dried.

really, i wouldn‘t even worry about him. like you said yourself, just go all bored and uninterested. take longer and longer to repond till you stop altogether. he will move on if he doesn‘t get any attention.


Topic: Broken furniture
Subject: Broken furniture - Posted: 12/31/2008 11:09:14 AM

you are not dating him, you are nothing more then a jail house slave.

i think you need to change the locks and be prepared to call the cops when he has his melt-down on your front lawn.

good luck.


Topic: please i need some advice
Subject: please i need some advice - Posted: 12/31/2008 11:12:02 AM
dcember1 wrote:
 

Been w this guy for 7 years, weve had our ups n downs and the past yr pills and alcohol have really messed our relationship up pretty badly. He has stopped everything and he sees a pain specialist doctor and he vows to stop, and he did it for me. All together he has had a problem w prescription pills drugs and alcohol for about 10 years. 2008 was the worst and he stopped it all and has been sober now for 6 months or more. Anyways its taken a huuuuuuuge toll on me and while I‘m in nursing school and I actually failed a class and I‘mn behind schedule a yr and a half. But weve been trying to work through things, even though I‘m built up w resentment from yrs of this abuse, I still love him more than ever and we r both willing to work on things.

The thing I need help w the most just happened last night. Nothing to do with his addictions. Well this past week was my birthday and we went out saturday night to celebrate it. I stayed at my best friends house and he picked me up the next day. Well I was going through his phone(I swear not snooping I was checking for a phone number in his contacts)  and I found a strange number. He txtd her the night we were all out for my birthday at 2:30 in the morning, while I was in the front seating past out sleeping!Long story short it was his first girlfiend from almost 15 yrs ago, he lost his virginity to her, so youknow shes even more special to him, or means more than other exs hes had. Well anyways met her last week out at a local bar he was out w his friend. He gave me the long story of how it used to be his bestfriend and he feels he needs friends again. Hes lost alot of them bc of his addictions and got rid of all the bad influential ones. I just think she not a good choice and he sees how upset I am and he still says he doesnt feel bad about it. Bc it was just friendly conversation cathcing up on old times w a bunch of friends and she just happened to be there and joined in. I just wonder if I was out with him if it would have even happened? That I know of theyve seen each other out, he got her number, called her once, txtd her once and thats it. Do I have the right to be upset? Is this grounds for a breakup with all the other strife he‘s put on me?

I need an un biased advice from someone outside of the situation, please help. I told him I want to cut off the 7 yr relationship now, 3 days away from xmas or not! What do I do

*******N Added to that she is a known cocaine addict, he realy doesn‘t need someone whose gonna b a bad influence to his sobriety!****************



 until and unless he is in recovery, clean and sober for five years, i would break up with him. no contact at all.

newly sober recovering addicts and alcoholics should not be in relationships for at least a year. if you are already married to someone they we can say little but if not, its out, over and done.


Topic: lost virginity to liar on eharmony
Subject: lost virginity to liar on eharmony - Posted: 1/1/2009 4:30:08 AM

being that its new year‘s. today‘s the day for resolutions.

no more players. no more drinking with players. only date men your own age and only sober.

you are responsible for your own condition. you have to protect yourself and taking alcohol in these situations is not in your best interest.

if you feel you need medical attention then go to the hospital.

you live. you learn. you move on.

 

 

 


Topic: adultery
Subject: adultery - Posted: 1/1/2009 4:37:02 AM
browneyez54 wrote:

 

   Thanks to everyone that posted and I all ready have a appointment with a doctor office for a check up and the lawers what up front money so i am tring to find a lawyer to take payments or contingentcy but no luck yet, but I am still trying .



set up appointments with as many lawyers as offer the "free consultation". that way they can  not represent your stbex. conflict of interest. and you will find one that will give you a flat rate.

i paid 1,200.00. total.

700. was the down payment.


Topic: what to do...
Subject: what to do... - Posted: 1/1/2009 5:08:11 AM

stand up to the doctor and you husband.

if you ain‘t ready. you don‘t have to do a damn thing.

its one of the freedom‘s women in american enjoy and as you are almost american there is no reason you can‘t have the same rights as every other citizen here.

i personally would report any doctor that tried to coerce me into seeing a mental abuser. ever.


Topic: O.M.G.
Subject: O.M.G. - Posted: 1/1/2009 7:05:31 PM
that makes two lives he has taken now.

Topic: Where can I get help???
Subject: Where can I get help??? - Posted: 1/2/2009 3:31:29 PM
uberbeotch wrote:

Hi Marabelm

I am sorry you are going thru this. Are you broke because he‘s spending money on porn, or maybe actual contact? He needs to man-up and do what is right for his family.

Did I see you over at MAPA?

http://mothersagainstpornographyaddiction.yuku.com/directory

It is a pretty quiet board. However, there is a great deal of information & resources on there. You might also try No Porn. there are sections on there for addicts as well as SO‘s.

I have dealt with several men with porn addictions. There are many steps to take. He needs to really WANT to stop, then he needs to go to SAA or another 12-step program. He needs to get a sponsor, work the steps, and also take action at home.

Everything needs to be cleared off the computer. The computer needs to be in a very public place, where he can‘t hide his activities. He probably should not have Internet access at all. If there are videos, magazines, etc., he needs to get rid of them. He needs to be fully accountable for his behavior.

You should try COSA or S-Anon for your own sanity. 12-step programs are FREE, and they can work. Therapy for the both of you is good too, but if you can‘t afford it right now, be sure to try the 12-step programs. Do not go to the same meetings he does.

For him:

SAA in NJ:

http://www.saa-recovery.org/mlist22.htm#USA_NewJersey

SLAA in NJ  (you mighrt also find SLAA helpful, but do not go to the same meetings as he):

http://www.localslaa.org/node/7

SCA main website (I didn‘t see mtgs in NJ, but a couple in NY)

http://www.sca-recovery.org/

For you:

COSA in NJ:

http://www.cosa-recovery.org/states/New_Jersey.html

S-Anon in NJ:  http://www.sanon.org/MeetingsUSNJ.htm

If none of these are close to you, try Al-Anon. It‘s mainly for people involved with alcoholics, but if you go with an open mind & just substitute "porn" for "alcohol" in your mind, it might help.

Here is a link to Dr. Patrick Carnes‘ website. He is the leading authority on sex addiction, including porn addiction. His book that might be helpful to you & hubby is "In the Shadows of the Net". There is also a link to find therapists on his site:

http://www.sexhelp.com/

If the situation is so bad you need to separate, then I‘d send him packing. You have kids & such? Their life should not be uprooted because of his stupid behavior.

If his porn addiction his hurting you & the kids, and draining your bank account, then is is a BIG PROBLEM.  This is a very serious addiction that is hard to kick. Most addicts won‘t change unless they hit a bottom. If he thinks he is going to lose everything, that might just spur him into taking positive action. Do not be afraid to give him a firm bottom line, and stick to it.

Even if he won‘t take action, YOU can. Kick his ass out, if you must. Take steps to protect yurself & your children.

I wish you all the best. PM me if you want. Include your phone number if you need to talk.

Stand firm!

UB



thanks baby.

Topic: really need some advice
Subject: really need some advice - Posted: 1/3/2009 7:45:54 AM

are you his girlfriend or his mother?

are you his babysitter or his keeper?

he is in charge of his life and his choices. he is in charge of his alcohol and drug consumtion. he is in charge of his dick.

NOT YOU.

unless you want a life of pain, cleaning up his messes and watching your life get flushed down a dirty toilet and sleeping with one eye open...cut his ass lose.

after he has been clean and sober for five years you can look him up... if you still want to.

honey, its time to cut bait and  haul ass.

it sucks to start over in life. i have a child i have to finish raising and i know how hard it is to jump in the deep end of the ocean.

 but remember...you can be free. free from filth and bull****...free to be yourself and in the months to come...free to find a friend that loves you and understands you and wishes only to make your life easier. not harder.

good luck. stick around. just stay out of the basement is my advice.


Topic: chat room?
Subject: chat room? - Posted: 1/3/2009 7:58:07 AM

hello???? chat room please.


Topic: chat room?
Subject: chat room? - Posted: 1/3/2009 12:07:43 PM

well  it would have been nice to chat with someone. i had to wait an hour for urgent care to open this morning.

lucy‘s got five stitches.

i was only freakin out alittle and i didn‘t want to wake anyone up.

 


Topic: animal issues
Subject: animal issues - Posted: 1/3/2009 12:32:38 PM
Momof4 wrote:
not pissed wrote:

So one of my girls that I have been helpping for a couple years is doing really well. Shes got a nice little farm right down the road from me on this little island near my parents. She‘s been living there over 3 years now and her, her husband and her four kids have been watching the animals next door starve. They have called animal controll over a half a dozen times and visitors, like myself have also called to no avail.

this horse that the have is so sick looking now that were not sure what to do. Their dogs have also started hunting food. My friend who has chickens, turkeys, and goats... not to mention small children, has started to feed the animals to keep them from killing more of her own animals and tearing throuhg her trash.

So yesterday, my sis and I (always on community projects) took pictures of the horse and it‘s showing hips and ribs

where should we go now? I thought about calling animal planet, but wonder if that might be blowing it out of porportion. I hate to do anything around christmas time because the people that own the horse and dogs have young children, but can‘t stand to watch things get worse. I‘ll uplload pictures tonight to show ya‘ll, but anyone got any ideas?



Call the ASPCA, or SPCA in her area. If animal control isn‘t doing anything, they are going to be in a world of hurt. 
I‘d email animal planet after contacting the SPCA. Call the police-they will make AC take care of their job.

I hate hearing that stuff. I hope you ca get some resolution. 


yes. animal services.

first get you father to go over there with you. he can help you decide what to do next.

being poor is not a crime but slowly starving an animal is and they will be fined and imprisoned if you call animal services on them.

perhaps your parents can help you find a home for the horse at least. my friend at work found a home for hers after her divorce and losing her house to the ex asshole.

some one may sponsor the horse‘s feed. ask at the feed store that sells horse feed. sometimes they have customers that buy feed and have room in their corral for one more poor soul. usually horse people buy at the same place and are aware of other horses in their neighborhood.

that horse is under-fed and has been for  some time. the horse needs a new home.

in the mean time. pass the hat and make people give you money. go and feed the horse.

this is one more reason why i care so much for you baby, you can‘t help but help others. kuddos.

sayhitoyourmama.

 


Topic: chat room?
Subject: chat room? - Posted: 1/3/2009 2:02:46 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
So shoe shopping is out for awhile eh???


thank god she got those Ugg boots at xmas time. nice and cushy. no dancing for at least a month.

Topic: Man! Do I feel better!!
Subject: Man! Do I feel better!! - Posted: 1/3/2009 2:03:56 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:

Christmas decor is all put up and house is clean as a whistle!  It is so much fun to decorate and get in the Holiday mood but when it is time to pack it all up everyone high tails it outta here!  I am off to return a Christmas gift and get something nice for myself.  Nothing a little shopping won‘t make feel  all better!!

Bring on 2009!

 



ditto on the decor packed away.

love the space and clean lines.


Topic: animal issues
Subject: animal issues - Posted: 1/3/2009 3:02:58 PM
uberbeotch wrote:

Has anything happened? Has PETA come? Do the horse & the other animals have food yet?

I am serious, NP - pm me your address or p.o. box & I will send you a check to get them some food.

This just breaks my heart!

UB



i surfed around and animal control is not in charge of animal neglect. down here anyway.

but if she finds a store with an 800 number??  a national chain?? they might take your order for feed over the phone and n.p. can go pick it up???

 

 

 


Topic: chat room?
Subject: chat room? - Posted: 1/3/2009 4:13:03 PM
Mememeandnotyou wrote:
That sucks.  I hope she‘s ok.


ditto.

Topic: my ex wont get out of my life
Subject: my ex wont get out of my life - Posted: 1/4/2009 8:27:58 PM

can you show this post to your mom?

do you think if she read what you have typed here she would help you with the no contact?

not your dad, your mom.


Topic: I thought this was a site for abused women, not.......
Subject: I thought this was a site for abused women, not....... - Posted: 1/6/2009 7:32:16 AM
Mememeandnotyou wrote:
Reba wrote:

So I leave the site for awhile and come back to see if anyone has replied.

I had nice replies until mememeandnotyou replied. I‘m sure mememeandnotyou will abuse me for saying this but....why the hell did you even post anything? Why? What type of troll are you?

If you don‘t have anything nice to say mememeandnotyou, don‘t say anything. Don‘t you see what your doing? Are you that much of a troll? Take it to your basement and stay there where the rest of us can feel safe without your abuse.

I‘d love to get to know you shally and gigi but with trolls like mememeandnotyou here....well......this is why I don‘t post much.

XXOO Reba

                                             





You get paid for that?


anyone else getting paid around here?


Topic: I thought this was a site for abused women, not.......
Subject: I thought this was a site for abused women, not....... - Posted: 1/6/2009 7:34:52 AM
shally wrote:
OMFG


shally said the "f" word!!

Topic: I thought this was a site for abused women, not.......
Subject: I thought this was a site for abused women, not....... - Posted: 1/6/2009 7:35:43 AM
Reba wrote:

for women to abuse each other.

I‘m happy I didn‘t tell my story. Someone would eventually throw it in my face. Right? Someone will acuse me of something in this thread, right?

My, my, my!



Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (Hey hey hey)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here.

Topic: I thought this was a site for abused women, not.......
Subject: I thought this was a site for abused women, not....... - Posted: 1/6/2009 7:48:40 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
No, tell your story...I did and got some great help. The in-house fighting is really just some trolls trying to get a rise out of some long-term members, ignore it.


if she doesn‘t feel safe, who are we to try to convince her?

who are we to defend members here that we have known for years, to someone that not only just got here, but seems to have already made up her mind about them, my, my, my.

in my experience you are not safe here. you are not totally safe anywhere. not even in your friendships or your marriage. a place you would expect to be.

if she does not feel safe here, or with some of the people here, she will have to work on that, just like the rest of us.

isn‘t that what every person on the planet spends most of their time pursuing? safety.

my only advice reba, which is free, keep all your personal info in a safe place along with your valuables, including your heart.

 

 


Topic: who was he?
Subject: who was he? - Posted: 1/6/2009 8:37:39 AM

your first love? can you remember his name or do you still sleep beside him?

was your first love lucky? was your first love truly your "first"? did you know him from school or from the neighborhood?

so many woman started so young, with the business of love and seeminly without any role models to emulate, either male or female.

did you parents interfer in your actions and choices in this matter?

i seemed to have started a little later in my teens then most of the woman i‘ve met and my younger sister, even later, come to that. i made up for lost time tho.

and my mother did try to interfer, first trying to put distance between he and i and then going so far as to discuss our birth control methods, with his parents, in front of us, in their living room.

an evening still vivid in my mind and easy to recall. yikes.

and knowing how your first love turned out, your first attempts to control your own reproducion, with or without privacy...

would you do it again?

and will you interfer with your teen age childrens, "rites of passage".

i need to know because a good percentage of lucy‘s peers are on the pill, whether, according to their mothers, they need "relief" from their visitors, or not.


Topic: Cheating with my ex-husband
Subject: Cheating with my ex-husband - Posted: 1/6/2009 8:56:34 AM
amethystheart wrote:
     Wow I can see there are some very straight forward people on here. This is a bad bad bad situation all the way around. First let me say I am sure you feel in some way that he was yours first. But you gave him up. Regardless of what the feels are now between the two of you, there is now something very ugly that has been added. You are cheating on his "wife" with him. Wife being a key word here. If he loves you as he claims he does and he spends all this time arranging seeing you and emailing you, he has the time to leave a wife who makes him unhappy. Do they have a child? I have a feeling there is more to this story then just you want your ex back. If they have children together you are hurting innocent children with your actions. As adults we do have self control... if we want to use it. A man who thinks that much of you and respects you would end one relationship to start a new fresh one with you. Honestly I feel for ya. I can‘t even imagine divorcing my husband and him remarrying and us wanting to get back together. It just isn‘t fathomable. He needs to either leave her and get a divorce or you need to step out of the situation. You are somewhere you have no right to be at all. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you found out your husband was cheating on you with his ex. It would be a horrible feeling and you know that. Leaving is an option and it‘s the only one with any dignity in it. I wish you the best of luck.


its a struggle for me, with my poor vision to read posts without any paragraph breaks in them.

i have a magnifier on my monitor but i was wondering if you could, please, leave some space between your thoughts.


Topic: Missing Post
Subject: Missing Post - Posted: 1/6/2009 9:13:47 AM
and much cheaper, seeings i haven‘t been paid in awhile.

Topic: How do I do this?
Subject: How do I do this? - Posted: 1/6/2009 9:31:07 AM

while i could not recall the memories of my emotional trama without pain or fear. i found my internal reponses to my ptsd, which i believe you have, quite interesting.

so my advice is for you to be utterly and completely interested in only yourself, as much as you can be, for at least 18 months.

my reponses to my d-day, moving house, being robbed, and emotionally left for dead were odd, but i paid attention to them and the ones i found nurishing, i indulged.

some would say i have over indulged my not so noursihing ones too much as well, anger being one.

during this horrendous time of coming to grips with the after math of so many blows i could eat very little besides odd food combinations, a habit that continues.

potatoe chips with bing cherries, yellow rice with orange marmalade, fritoes and frosting, birthdaycakes, but only the flowers. buying every color of dishsoap or bath bubbles on the market.

another facet of the trama appears to be that i am unable to go swimming.

the house, the home i left, the one i lived in for over ten years ,was on the water, sparkling, cooling, inviting. my family spent every holiday out in the yard along with first a sandbox, then a swingset, later life perservers and safety lectures and evenings just lying on the warm sand.

and yet i can no longer go swimming any where, i can not enter any body of water beyond my bathtub.

the bathtub being the place most woman are alone to cry and the closet, where i was alone to scream, a sleeve in my teeth, so as not to alarm the neighbors.

do what it takes, stay interested in your recovery. its you life, you have the one. how you move from this will have some lingering eccentricities.

 but,  i always tell myself: its never to late to have a happy childhood, even at my age.

good luck. kiss your ma, she must be beside herself with worry of you


Topic: Life is funny....
Subject: Life is funny.... - Posted: 1/6/2009 6:23:13 PM
yasmina wrote:

Ya know what? Bank just cancelled my credit card, I´m in 11,000$ debt, I´m in rehab, can´t pay my rent and is close to getting evicted from my home.

I was just sitting at my desk, looking out the window and thinking what a crap rollercoaster my life has been lately.... When a good friend texts me and tells me how happy he is that we are friends. And at that moment, the snow starts falling right outside my window, just beautiful.

God is always there, isnt he?

 

Yasmina



you bet your pretty little butt sweetie.

if you have your health, you‘ve got it all.

work on getting better, the rest will take care of itself.

 


Topic: It‘s possible!
Subject: It‘s possible! - Posted: 1/6/2009 6:34:36 PM
Marina777 wrote:

Can you believe it?

: My boyfriend cheating me!!!!!!!! :( how do you think who is his "second love"?  My daemned brother!!!!!!!

(P.S. I know about my brother‘s sex a long time)



your brother has more issues than his homosexuality.

like his poaching your boyfriends.

 


Topic: damn this hurts.
Subject: damn this hurts. - Posted: 1/9/2009 3:36:15 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:

Hard to beleive it‘s been a year already.  I bet you can‘t wait to get into your new apartment!  NEW beginnings!!

 

I wonder what you‘ll get from CB for Valentines Day???

Will it......

Sparkle?

Smell good?

Taste yummie?

Or will it give you a wedgie?

Congratulations on taking control of your life!  You did it!!

 

 



yes sunni, what she said.

all the best, not only do you deserve it, but you‘ve earned it.

Life is good.


Topic: Heartbroken & In Pain
Subject: Heartbroken & In Pain - Posted: 1/9/2009 5:33:08 PM

our stories are similar. my 15 year old and i just celebrated our 3rd xmas together. without him.

i went from the whore to the door in 90 days. house, neighbors, savings, everything gone.

 he didn‘t want a divorce. nine days after the sale of our home closed, he was back.

i refused to have him back. i carried on with the help of god and the woman here.

i lost two brothers in one month and both of my bff‘s have lost their daughters, one 42, one 37, leaving behind young children. i‘ve been thru hurricanes and hell since then. yet somehow he always turns up to help or laugh or poke fun at me or us.

and i have to say, that my ex has been and continues to be an awesome father.

so i am writting to say, GIVE IT TIME.

it takes about a year to let it go. and its two years now since the divorce and he was just here making me coffee. he bragged that only he knows how i like it.

i have to tell you, we are over it. we still have our own language, our history, the pride in our only child.

it will get easier is my point. it will go back to a deeper truer love.

i would not want to live with mine again, but the betrayal, ptsd and all the lies and pain are truly in my past now.

you can get past it, it takes time.

 


Topic: Do men change?
Subject: Do men change? - Posted: 1/10/2009 1:58:35 PM

well my man changed, from my husband to my exhusband.

he‘s trying to change back to a decent person. its been two years and i don‘t feel the need to kill him with a fork to the eyeball anymore.

 


Topic: Do not know what to do?
Subject: Do not know what to do? - Posted: 1/10/2009 3:41:50 PM
It takes courage to leave the person you love, the person who you hold so many dreams and expectations of/for. Its a very fine line between grabbing the courage you need and actually letting go of the futile hope we cling totula

Topic: Very muscular men
Subject: Very muscular men - Posted: 1/10/2009 3:48:51 PM

do you think bald men have more testosterone then men with full heads of hair.

it seems to me that men over 35 or so that still have all their hair seem to be more feminine.

while bald men seem to be more aggressive.


Topic: how to decide who to marry (by kids)
Subject: how to decide who to marry (by kids) - Posted: 1/10/2009 6:42:25 PM

 

How Do You Decide Who To Marry (By Kids)


(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they‘re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you‘re stuck with. -Kristen, age 10

What Is The Right Age To Get Married?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. -Freddie, age 6

How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -Derrick, age 8

What Do You Think Your Mom And Dad Have In Common?

Both don‘t want any more kids. -Lori, age 8

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -Lynnette, age 8 (isn‘t she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -Martin, age 10

What Would You Do On A First Date That Was Turning Sour?

I‘d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -Craig, age 9

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

When they‘re rich. -Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn‘t want to mess with that. -Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It‘s the right thing to do. -Howard, age 8

Is It Better To Be Single Or Married?

I don‘t know which is better, but I‘ll tell you one thing. I‘m never going to have sex with my wife. I don‘t want to be all grossed out. -Theodore, age 8

It‘s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

How Would The World Be Different If People Didn‘t Get Married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn‘t there? -Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

How Would You Make A Marriage Work?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -Ricky, age 10


Topic: The moon
Subject: The moon - Posted: 1/11/2009 3:47:23 PM
yasmina wrote:

It is here too!!!  My street looks all fairy tale like with the moon shining down on the cobblestones and the trees with the lights in them. I like the fact that we are all her under the same moon...

Lotsalovetoya,

Muah!

Yasmina



when i see the moon like that this what i hear.

close your eyes and listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRaieyN77UI


Topic: Congradulations Gigi...
Subject: Congradulations Gigi... - Posted: 1/11/2009 8:15:23 PM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:
skylla wrote:
Even though I was not able to be at the blessed event....I do want to be the first from here to tell you congratulations.

I have seen a picture of her and she is just beautiful....perfect....and she does look just like her daddy.

I know you are a proud gramma now...or should I say proud Gigi.

Tell your daughter and her husband I said congradulations and I was glad to hear it all went ok.


I dont have a daughter anymore..........


don‘t you mean sister?

Topic: Seeing all of you guys!
Subject: Seeing all of you guys! - Posted: 1/11/2009 9:40:48 PM
ditto baby.

Topic: GiGi
Subject: GiGi - Posted: 1/12/2009 12:30:46 PM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:

Thanks everyone!

I would love nothing more than to be a GiGi!!  I love her to bits!

Apparently,Im going to have to wait.  She and her H are....lets just say...having difficulties. 

They pulled a very diabloical stunt.

They sent me a text message minutes before she gave birth.  "Shes about to start pushing."

I was told she was to be induced on thursday AM.  They actually induced on wednesday night.

Nicccceeeee.............

Ive had to change my locks.....agggggain...as they stopped by while I was at work (before she had the baby)and took the presents I was going to take to the hospital.

She and I were working out our difficulties nicely.  I thought....anyway.  She expressed she wanted me in the delivery room...the whole nine yards.  She also shared with me problems she was having with him.  He had became upset with her upon learning she had told me against his wishes.

So in other words........shes trying to hold her marriage together and ...."change" him.  All this time I thought we were mending fences......we were not.

This too shall pass.............

 



You are not going to want to hear this, livid. But that never stops either one of us.

Perhaps, just perhaps, the children tried to tell you they didn’t want anyone at the hospital with them? Think back?? And you refused to LISTEN to them?

So they went behind your back and left you out of the birthing room. after going to your house to pick up things that belong to the baby, now. They belong to the baby and her mother. They are not your things to hold over the new parents heads, to force them to do your WILL.

THE BABY IS HERE.

The baby is worth ten of the mother, just look at you.

The birth of a new life, is not a experience you can ever re-do, and if they wanted to be alone with it, SO WHAT???

WHY TRY TO PUNISH THEM?? They must have tried to tell you they didn’t want you there. I don’t see you say they wanted anyone else there.

They are husband and wife now db and if they cleave to each other, its because after all, they promised in their vows, “ I pledge thee my trough” and there ain’t room for you between them.

As for you deedee, stop rubbing salt in douche’s wounds for god‘s sake woman, she posts that she failed to have an experience with her daughter, one she was looking forward to and planning for and you come in and tell her how special yours was ?

Then she stops by to let us all know that even tho you did get to do something she did not get to do, you did it wrong. See where this is going.?

So unless you are gonna be a troll all your life deed, when someone tells you something they missed out on, hurts. Don’t start talking about how you have btdt and how grand it was.

imo


Topic: i really need advice
Subject: i really need advice - Posted: 1/14/2009 4:43:25 AM
charlie79 wrote:
princesspea wrote:
Ok, you weren‘t really with your partner for that long before you had a baby, maybe it is the stress of being a father. I know you will say that is no excuse, especially with him arguing with your parents. You need to get him to see a doctor or something. Men can have a type of PND (post natal depression) too! Good luck


Yeah babies do completely change your life i have a10month old and myself and partner have arguments quite regular its strain ,tiredness etc but my partner seems to think looking after a kid isn‘t as hard as his job!! well thats because he has never had 24/7 of a bad day lol screamung teething baby all day. but i need a bit of advice too my partner says i am paranoid from pregnancy but whilst i was preg we had a tif and were not living together he said was going home, well this was 2days before my boy was due and i had bad pains and worried i was going into labour tried to call his mobile like 50times and no answer till 1am when he said he had been to friends and had drink, well next day quized him and he admittied he had sat at one of exs and had wine !!!but then had mardy that i went nuts, but he told me what she like so im bound to look into it, well after that there has been afew times he has bailed to his flat after work, or take yesterday for instance ,he left for work and at 9am had not returned when finishes at7?? so i rang and he hadn‘t been that night!! so when i rang him he was at his flat (as we have too places coz he dont seem to have time to move in!!) he tried to make out he had been to work and i said to be honest then said i knew he hadnt but then it turned usual my fault??.
He does have days off but he sees me saying something as moaning when i just worry he will loose his flat and my house for me etc...
he said he just had a drink etc but i wIm reading what i have worry as ex lives round the corner and in so paraniod from when i was preg as alot happened from it i just feel i am a fool to another lier i hate lies


 charlie.

i think you should work on yourself and work on re-gaining your figure and your life.

i have to say, your mate spends alot of time drinking.

 


Topic: My Stepmother is Critically Ill
Subject: My Stepmother is Critically Ill - Posted: 1/14/2009 6:58:42 AM

Mostly, I am praying like crazy, because I don‘t know what else to do.  But somehow I just feel her slipping away.  I saw the light go out of her when my father died, and she has pushed us all away.  I see her not eating, and I sense that she is giving up.  For the first time, her fighting spirit is just not there.

 

 i am so proud of you for conducting yourself so well, with and for everyone.

however, its her ending to and it sounds like she is accepting that its time for her to make HERS.

continue to take your cues from her and help her to have the "ceremony" she wants, the way she wants in the time she has.

if it appears that she is looking ahead to joining others gone before, then i repect her courage and hope i can do as well someday.

all you can do is follow her lead.

 

 


Topic: quick question
Subject: quick question - Posted: 1/14/2009 7:41:23 AM
LittleMissWomansaver wrote:
Can‘t really tell unless I know his personality which would change everything.

He has a nice head of hair, solid eyebrows and a semi-long face.  I imagined him cast as an actor playing a knight, prince or even a common man from the 16th-17th century.


ditto.

Topic: Mr True Blue
Subject: Mr True Blue - Posted: 1/14/2009 7:42:34 AM
ah, blue, i left you a note in the basement. did you see it before the big hurricane?

Topic: message board/forum
Subject: message board/forum - Posted: 1/15/2009 5:29:22 AM
EuropeanGirl wrote:
I am missing 2 PMs as well.




ditto

Topic: Very muscular men
Subject: Very muscular men - Posted: 1/15/2009 5:31:22 AM
MrTrueBlue wrote:
lorrie wrote:

do you think bald men have more testosterone then men with full heads of hair.

it seems to me that men over 35 or so that still have all their hair seem to be more feminine.

while bald men seem to be more aggressive.



Testosterone is the reason why men go bald.

thanks god I have just enough to keep my hair and be able to work out at the gym.



stay away from png‘s gym tho please.

Topic: Shally from now on......
Subject: Shally from now on...... - Posted: 1/15/2009 5:39:11 AM

Topic: Web cam sex and chat is that cheating?
Subject: Web cam sex and chat is that cheating? - Posted: 1/15/2009 7:23:31 AM
shally wrote:
Hi tinkey, so good to see you on!


yes tinky it is good to see you.

 

i have been so drunk and hopped up on drugs down in the basement that i most have missed you when you stopped in last.

 

i wanted to say, i don‘t think these woman on these webcams give a **** about anyone. they are greedly little bored horny bitches looking for a man to pay their way thru life.

my ex‘s (puke) girlfriend must have really freaked out when she realized, he‘s broke. all he got from our divorce was the bum‘s rush.

can‘t you get divorced? it sucks that he don‘t care he makes you feel so bad.

is the porn escalating? is it on "less the normal sex" websites?

the 12 step rooms are the only therapy that starts with changing  the behavior and then changing your thinking. which is why i believe it is so successful.

other therapies have the addict change their "thinking" and then their behavior, leading to years and years of disappointment.

 


Topic: Web cam sex and chat is that cheating?
Subject: Web cam sex and chat is that cheating? - Posted: 1/15/2009 9:28:01 AM

  So why women would sign up to those sites and show it off for free just astounds me.  At least on paying sites, it‘s obvious the women are getting paid for their services

 

sadly, some woman are just dumb. or attention seeking whores, take your pick.

 

when cakeman was fing around on my computer, i got loads of pop-ups, downloaders and viruses. i linked over to the adult madison penis pictures websites. dang, is that all the men have to show? are they trying to prove it "works"?


Topic: where‘s yas?
Subject: where‘s yas? - Posted: 1/15/2009 9:30:14 AM

hey sweetie, just wondering how your are? how‘s it going with you and yours?

are you having any "dinners" yet?

i‘m having dinner for breakfast.


Topic: My Stepmother is Critically Ill
Subject: My Stepmother is Critically Ill - Posted: 1/15/2009 9:34:00 AM

Topic: Is it CREEPSTER behavior for a guy to call you while he is taking a BATH ?
Subject: Is it CREEPSTER behavior for a guy to call you while he is taking a BATH ? - Posted: 1/15/2009 9:46:07 AM

okay so goth men are clean, they take baths and not showers.

and yes, i take my cell in the bathroom if i am on a call i can not easily curtail or i know the person will not comment if they hear any sounds~sounds they don‘t want to know about.

i do not however, announce, yes momo i am taking a pee and trying to wipe myself and flush with one hand cuz the speaker feature will surely give me away.

and everyone knows you do not annouce you are doing something other then focusing on the caller and what they have to say.

so just say: oh, don‘t let me keep you, i hear you are in the tub. call me back when you have more time.

if he is married, just hang up.


Topic: just found out... bet that‘s a common topic!
Subject: just found out... bet that‘s a common topic! - Posted: 1/15/2009 9:50:18 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:

This same thing happened to me.  So I know how bad this hurts.  Not an old class mate but a woman he met online playing poker with.  He befriended her and then it blossomed into something more.  When I confronted him he said it was just a game.  He didn‘t care for her.  (WELL you could have fooled with the emails I read!!  AND not to mention all the dirty pics she sent!)  I kicked him out, I wiped out our accounts and told him it was over.  He begged and pleaded.  And after several weeks I allowed him back.  We are still together and it‘s been 3 three years since D-day. 

I put my foot so far up his ass he can‘t make a move without me knowing.  I put a keylogger on the computer and I monitor his phone.  I don‘t check so much anymore because things are better between us.  I have forgiven him but not forgot what he is capable of. 

This is a horrible deception and it will take work to keep your marriage.  Others here have left their spouse and some have stayed.  You will get many different thoughts on this matter.  I feel you need find out why he did it.  Get answers to your questions.  The main thing is that he break it off entirely...NO CONTACT.  If he can‘t commit to that then you need to decide what you want.  He must feel bad for what he did, not bad for getting caught. 




Topic: Is it CREEPSTER behavior for a guy to call you while he is taking a BATH ?
Subject: Is it CREEPSTER behavior for a guy to call you while he is taking a BATH ? - Posted: 1/15/2009 2:08:16 PM
shally wrote:
pumpkinbread wrote:
It‘s creepy for men to take baths, period. 


Really? That‘s all h and I take. In fact he falls asleep in the tub and I have to wake him.

Nothing like playing in a bubble bath. But I guess he really wouldn‘t want me saying that! But since it‘s just us.....



Topic: where‘s yas?
Subject: where‘s yas? - Posted: 1/15/2009 5:17:48 PM
yes he is yas, your step mom is a lucky woman.

Topic: I hate it when......
Subject: I hate it when...... - Posted: 1/15/2009 5:24:25 PM

i hate the ****ing asshole drivers in the drop off lane at lucy‘s school.

wtf dude the sign says no left, means no left. not stay there and make me late for work cuz you are tryin to make a left.

i understand, we all need to turn left, but ****ing a dude, make a right and make a u turn(also illegal) just like the rest of us.

every day, morning and night.

i hate who ever thinks of these carpool/drop off lanes. two or three lanes in front of the school makes the kids have to cross in front of and between cars. fine. but they all feed into one lane with no left to get to the only road anyone wants to be on.

i am sure a man designed this.

and the hours schools operate are stupid too. wtf? they manage to let all the schools out at the same time as all the working parents so all of us and the school buses can enjoy rush hour all together.

 


Topic: Mr True Blue
Subject: Mr True Blue - Posted: 1/16/2009 4:38:16 AM
MrTrueBlue wrote:
lorrie wrote:
ah, blue, i left you a note in the basement. did you see it before the big hurricane?


no


it said: blue, i have nothing against you. i actually like you i just like to tease you alittle is all.

Topic: Finding out a friend is cheating?
Subject: Finding out a friend is cheating? - Posted: 1/16/2009 5:12:56 AM
Momof4kids wrote:
Damn, I‘m done with this crap. I was talking to a close friend of mine this morning, and she mentioned that a friend of ours had stayed at her house, she then mentioned that this friends "Boyfriend" had stayed there too (this is when she was away and had the friend petsitting)

I‘m stunned. I‘m pissed. I‘m also disgusted. I know that for years they haven‘t had the greatest marriage (but I‘m hard pressed to find someone who does around here these days!) BUT-if someone is unhappy, I believe in trying to work it out, or leave-you don‘t just get a side dish! Her kids, all but one are grown, and I know her husband-he‘s a nice guy-he‘s a little quiet (and we‘re so NOT) but I never thought she was so unhappy as to cheat!!

I admit, my reaction surprised the friend I was talking to-she asked "well, I‘m glad she‘s happy, aren‘t you?" 

Well, I don‘t know if that‘s happiness. Honestly. Why the heck didn‘t she file and leave? Well, apparently, her husband makes all the money!(he makes ALOT of money too) I am beside myself. Really. I am not going to be able to ever look at her the same. 

I live in friggin payton place now. The drama that surrounds me is astounding. I‘m totally shocked I‘m not taking pain killers, and drinking all day. I am shocked I do mundane stuff, like care for my family, feed them, and do their laundry. I go to every sport imaginable, and I‘m HAPPY TO BE DOING THIS!!!

I know I must sound rather insane, it is just so damn SHOCKING!!!


does she know you know?

Topic: The Geography of a woman
Subject: The Geography of a woman - Posted: 1/16/2009 1:28:36 PM
tula1969 wrote:
sunny fl wrote:

Aww Tula,  40 is GREAT!!!

I found myself the year I turned 40!!



Glad to read that.

On new years day just gone, I felt really positive about 2009. I know this is going to be my year when the last 18 months will have finally all been worth it.

The future is looking bright and rosey. I just dont want to be 40, for some strange reason in my mind it is and seems masses"bigger" than 30-something, if that makes any sense?

Spug asked what I was going to do to celebrate. I said I didnt know just yet. She suggested getting me a STRIPPER, I so friggin think not.

I would die on the spot, mortified!!




Topic: The Geography of a woman
Subject: The Geography of a woman - Posted: 1/16/2009 5:12:46 PM

Topic: The Geography of a woman
Subject: The Geography of a woman - Posted: 1/17/2009 12:41:59 PM
tula1969 wrote:
lorrie wrote:


Exactly what I INITIALLY thought !!!

Cab home?

Supper?

Drinks?

Collection?

I‘d want a man to dance for me for FREE

 



get in line, behind israel baby.

Topic: My sons birthday..
Subject: My sons birthday.. - Posted: 1/17/2009 2:07:36 PM

i need some names and a spreadsheet, k?

who‘s preggers?


Topic: im going crazyyyy over him!!
Subject: im going crazyyyy over him!! - Posted: 1/17/2009 2:31:41 PM

i think he‘s been trash talkin you and maybe the new girl won‘t sleep with him and he thinks you just might.

INGNORE HIM  and move on.


Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 1/19/2009 2:11:18 PM

she is being a bitch because he is clearly dragging his feet.

 

hmmm? and why is he dragging his feet? hmmm.


Topic: wish me luck
Subject: wish me luck - Posted: 1/19/2009 2:18:35 PM

piece of cake. you were meant to look after others and you do it very well.

look after yourself once in a while okay?


Topic: BODY PARTS
Subject: BODY PARTS - Posted: 1/19/2009 2:20:01 PM
tula1969 wrote:

Shally

I too like Johnny Depp. As it happens this Hollywood star now only lives approx 15 minutes away from me. Hows about that??

Him and Vannesa Paradis moved to my kneck of the woods, their children go to a well known school in my town.

heres a pic for you

 



and you are still at your house? why?

Topic: Woman Beaten by Husband Wins Suit Against Him
Subject: Woman Beaten by Husband Wins Suit Against Him - Posted: 1/19/2009 2:21:15 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
I was like all kinds of crapping myself thinking BMW was back!


yup.

Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 1/19/2009 5:15:26 PM
sunny fl wrote:
CaliforniaGirl wrote:

Sunny, can you bifurcate the issues?  Can you get the divorce final and then settle the other issues afterwards, i.e., property, support, etc.?  They do that here in California, but I’m not sure about other states.



Yes we can.  but he keeps changing the paperwork  to postpone it. 

He now wants half of my retirement,  which he wasn‘t going to go after,  so now I  have to prove that there is a wash out between what is left in my 401k (after this market crap) and the value of his brand new harley!

The biggest mistake he has made was buying that thing! It has brought him nothing but trouble! 



hopefully he will ride far far away on it and stay away.

sorry i can‘t respect a man going after your retirement.


Topic: I think I know the answer to this, I just need validation.
Subject: I think I know the answer to this, I just need validation. - Posted: 1/20/2009 4:50:38 AM
LittleIvy wrote:

You know, life really is funny. I originally posted this, cause I was wondering why his actions bothered me, and I was pretty much decided on the move, now I am second guessing it, I am back to the drawing board, and that just may be a good thing, Thank You!!!



 

the feeling you have is disappointment because once again he has shown that he can not be trusted.

he did work the phone so you could hear, on purpose.

he needs you to know what he is up to, he needs you to react. he needs you to validate his life‘s choices?

do what i do, when he starts talking, put your hands over your ears and start singing: "lalalalalalalalalala" real loud.

when his lips stop moving, remover your hands and start a convo that only includes the matter at hand,  the kids and the money.

if he starts talking about any of his personal bull, then shout, TMI. and go back to covering your ears until he gets the picture.

you don‘t want to know. next time you hear him on the phone, HANG UP.

its none of your business sweetie, no matter if he thinks it is or not.

why let him rent space in your head after he‘s already been evicted?

 

 


Topic: now hear this...
Subject: now hear this... - Posted: 1/21/2009 6:39:50 AM

...the white house has not watched ANY black guys on television besides OJ simpson- on trial, until yesterday!!

 btw i love the new president and his family, hell i voted for him and i grew to appreciate the yellow morning coat and bling bling necklace michelle wore, even the green gloves and the rockin jimmy choo‘s. but what was up with wearing a bed spread to the ball.

 

...did anyone else notice that beyonce sang her ass off, overcome with near tears at the end but that she looked like crap as well? what‘s up with that dress? think she‘s preggers?


Topic: now hear this...
Subject: now hear this... - Posted: 1/21/2009 7:10:00 AM

anyone else like hats?

 

 

ARETAHA FRANKLIN.jpg

i was surprised that none of the "first ladies" wore hats for the swearing-in ceremony? are hats just a southern thing? if you can‘t wear a hat when its 20 degrees out, when can you?

i have to say i almost spit my root beer when mrs. obama entered the home town ball with her hair down??

don‘t  ladies put their hair up for evening events once they turn fourteen?

 


Topic: now hear this...
Subject: now hear this... - Posted: 1/21/2009 8:23:21 AM
Momof4kids wrote:
Michelle Obama is going to have to have a visit from "What NOT to wear" They will empty her closets stat.

She needs to give a little extra yardage for her derriere, (I‘d call it an ass, but when you have no taste and millions of followers will be wearing what you‘re wearing, you need to take lessons FAST, and call your body parts by more delicate words.)

I am truly praying for this country. We need every prayer at this point. 

OH, and is it me, but is it like the biggest discussion what kind of DOG they are going to get? 

Pitdoodle is my choice for the first family. They need some bad attitude and brains in there.


i really like her style. i usually love her in purple and teal. but that bedspread don‘t hold a candle to some of the other first ladies. i mean that dress is going to a museum later on right?

now they are tryin to say she wore yellow as "tie a yellow ribbon" for the safe return of all the troops. huh?

you sure could see her tho. maybe she wants to be the bigger target on the street?

i understand the secret service was havin kittens until they got the family into the parade viewing stand where they could better "cover‘‘ the obamas.

i know my heart was in my throat watching them walk up the avenue.  but i‘ve seen 4 or more executions of world leaders in my time.

anwar saddat comes to mind.

did you hear that ted kennedy had his brother bobby on his mind early in the day.

one of the reporters reminded ted that bobby once said in a speech that he was certain a black man would be president in our life time.

pity neither he nor martin luther got to see yesterday.


Topic: now hear this...
Subject: now hear this... - Posted: 1/21/2009 8:42:25 AM

 

i like the way they color co-ordinated this look but don‘t she have a mirror. i swear thats the mumu you wear to do laundry?

 


Topic: now hear this...
Subject: now hear this... - Posted: 1/21/2009 12:49:15 PM
DeeDee5 wrote:
lorrie.....why do you keep saying BLACK man?  You said it in both your posts.

Do you not realize his mother was white?  He was raised by WHITE grandparents.  Yes, his dad was black, but he never spent much time with him.  So as a result his black daddy really had no influence in how he turned out.

It was his WHITE grandparents lifestyle that influenced him the most.    

The way I see it....Obama is a WHITE man who has a permanent suntan.




in both references to race i quote others deedee.

 one was jamie fox with the crack about all the black people on live t.v. last night.

 the other was ted remembering when his brother bobby gave a speech for "voice of america".

piss off.


Topic: Life.
Subject: Life. - Posted: 1/21/2009 6:01:52 PM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:


 

Uh huh............

Well sis....Im surprised.....looks like you left out the "white picket fence" and the "perfect" family dog and cat too! 

 



if you had to eat the pets for dinner, please leave it out.

 

WILL YOU TWO PLEASE USE THE PHONE?


Topic: I think I know the answer to this, I just need validation.
Subject: I think I know the answer to this, I just need validation. - Posted: 1/22/2009 4:50:49 AM
smoochies.

Topic: What do you all think about ‘Pick Up‘ and ‘Seduction‘?
Subject: What do you all think about ‘Pick Up‘ and ‘Seduction‘? - Posted: 1/22/2009 5:42:44 AM

if someone is offering you pointers on how to "chat up the birds", fine.

you do need some "game" you know. if you want to meet woman you have to be able to approach them without coming off all needy and whiney.

i happen to like shy guys, but if they don‘t approach,  then i move on.

if a man wants you or is interested in you then he has to "man up" and make his attraction know.

however if you are learning to pick up women with the purpose of overwhelming them with alcohol to hustle them into bed, a la "the pickup artist", then you will have nothing more then a series of one nighters, leaving you more empty then ever.

i want to encourage you to be yourself. well groomed, showing interest and good manners. not a hustler trying to ply chicks with alchol to have your way like most of those jerks teaching decent men how to "get over".

the right woman is out their for you, you will find her, when you stop looking and start being your kind, decent, loving self.

 stick around, we can help.


Topic: Should I be scared?
Subject: Should I be scared? - Posted: 1/22/2009 6:45:59 AM

yes sweetie. its over. very very over.

i understand the heart needs to have your family together, a baby, christ.

it must be a constant pain to you not to have all those you love, right there with you, in harmony.

this is a dream. one you love. one that is not only hard to let go of but one that is dragging you down.

he has huge anger issues and yes you are right, he will "snap", deedee aside. 

cheaters always accuse their mates of cheating, then become over whelmed when you not only offer proof that it‘s not true but offer to leave them, in peace, if you can‘t convice them.  its classic.

his, now, pretense to change is merely changing his surface and getting smoother in his approach to you, because he knows, with the baby, he has you right where he wants you.

its okay to love him sweetie, i understand, just do it from afar.

its your life too, not just the baby‘s or his or anyone else‘s ITS YOUR LIFE.

this what you want for yourself?

 cuz with him in you life, its all your ever gonna get, a vicious cycle of escalating anger until you are: broken, and still without him.

you can‘t fix him.


Topic: Been living in fear for 2 wks, but no more...
Subject: Been living in fear for 2 wks, but no more... - Posted: 1/22/2009 7:03:00 AM
tula1969 wrote:
DeeDee5 wrote:

 
Two of my grown sons never lived with me and my husband, so they never witnessed anything.  The other 2 did, and although he did not physically abuse them, he was sometimes verbal.  And when that happened I would always intervene and take up for my sons, and then the fight would be on. Now my sons are very thick skinned because of it. not such a bad thing.    My 2 sons who lived with me do not hate me for it,


DeeDee,

With reference to you being a bad mother.

I have already stated that when I first arrived on this forum, YOU were one of the women I looked "up to" and had massive respect for.

To clear up your misunderstanding, I actually said I now didnt have that same amount of respect for you.

Simple as and nothing more. I feel this way because your story which you have mostly deleted was and is one of the most horrific I have read to date.

I‘ll apologise but I will never understand someone going back to a man or woman capable of doing what he did to you for years and years.

Consistencey needed too DeeDee. This son he treats like a king? Isnt this the very same king son you used to be holding in your arms when he beat you??

You seem to think I am on some kind of mission here, you couldnt be further from the truth.

I feel for you, and as much as this may surprise you, wish you well.

Dispite everything, I maintain in my belief that you are making one big fat mistake.

I know I made them myself. I guess I just wonder how someone, and I mean you, could have written all that trauma, made all those steps toward freeing yourself and then turns around and goes back?

I wonder how confident you are yourself deep down?? About his changing? You, imho, protest too much to his innocence.

So on a final note, take it from me in earnest, I am not on a hate DeeDee mission, I am simply seeing in you the traits I once saw in myself.

Difference is, is that I have moved on so in that end, I will see it differently to you. Moving on has allowed me to get to the place I am today. You are still where you were.

Logic says we wont be singing from the same song-sheet anymore.

Fact of life I guess.

T



massive smoochies tula.

 

DEEDEE, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS TOPIC.

you are married to an alcholic. he needs to take his ass to AA every ****ing day of the week and twice on sunday.

if he does, he will do the "steps" and addressing this with ALL YOUR CHILDREN, will have to be on his list. he must validate both you and the boys memories.

cuz i think you have handled this as well as you could, it ain‘t your issue as we say around here, any more.

all you can say to the woman here in the abuse section is I MARRIED A DRUNK. he don‘t drink now, if he does i will hit him in the head with a fry pan on my way to the "cleaners".

if you do not leave him if he starts drinking again, then i will hit you with a fry pan, got it?

and i think that is the tack you had better take with the abused woman on here, because if you keep spouting, MINE CHANGED, MINE CHANGED, you are gonna be respondsible for some poor woman getting hurt.

ALWAYS TELL THEM TO LEAVE!!! GOT IT DEEDEE?

you know for a fact you and your husband were separated quite awhile before you got back together. you stood up to him, you F U C K I N G  lived at the god damn courthouse, or did you forget???

after YOU SHOWED HIM, you would not take any more  S H I T, AT ALL, he CHANGED, FORCED BY THE COURTS, he stopped drinking.

just tell the woman here: i went thru hell due to his drinking, i am holding my breath that he will stay stopped, ONE DAY AT A TIME, if he picks up a drink i will pick up my suitcase.

imo

 

 

 


Topic: I need some clear advice, please
Subject: I need some clear advice, please - Posted: 1/22/2009 7:28:17 AM
jrjr43 wrote:
Hi all. I‘m a 41 yr old male. Married for 5 years, together for 10. We have no children because my wife has PCOS. We have tried several options to no result. The Dilemma!!! Up to about a month ago we were fine. Happy, intimate, etc.. until she found her ex husband on Facebook. Now she claims she is not happy and not for a while. She has been secretly texting, IMing, phone calls and a secret email account. I stumbled on to this by mistake, looked into it and found it was out of hand. I confronted her about it and she says we are just hashing things out from a bad maaraige. It has continued. I purchased an internet spy program and have been reading all the emails etc.. She states she loves him and misses him etc. He lives in CA and we in NY. She has not told any of her friends the extant because they would call her an A**hole. She now says she wants to try with me, and has seemed to be making an attempt but the late night IM‘s and emails continue witht the same content. She told her freind that she wants to be w/me but this doesn‘t seem so. Can anyone enlighten me on what to think or do? It makes no sense...

I know they have both wrote to each other about a possible meeting in VA about July. How can I also go on "trying" and attempting to make it work when this may come around the corner. the trust factor right now is almost totally out the door but i have saved some hope.

Am I crazy for still trying to save this?


i see her struggling. struggling to be honest with you. which she was, right up to the point where she pretended it was about "closure" with the EX.

she wants to try with you because she is still unsure of HIM.

i think you should tell her, it stops or she goes. if she goes with him, its over, tell her: don‘t come back.

sink or swim baby. because they are wasting YOUR time. if they want to be together,( remember she told you "she‘s been unhappy for some time"~~ code for, its over), all you can do is feel sad and wish them well.

make it clear, it‘s him or you. they don‘t call it "cake" for nothing.‘

and be prepared, she may leave and try to come back, claiming she made a huge mistake.

mine did. were still divorced.

good luck.


Topic: who was he?
Subject: who was he? - Posted: 1/22/2009 8:09:49 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
Imagine my delight when Hubby was doing one of his car shows and got parked right next to my first everything! 


spill...


Topic: Been living in fear for 2 wks, but no more...
Subject: Been living in fear for 2 wks, but no more... - Posted: 1/22/2009 10:05:15 AM

Topic: Must have been a secret admirer....
Subject: Must have been a secret admirer.... - Posted: 1/22/2009 1:57:40 PM
LittleIvy wrote:

Cause i sure didn‘t know him, hope he was rich....

 

Got this email this morning:

 

MANAGING PARTNER
ALLEN & OVERY
LONDON
CONTACT PERSON: CANARY WHARF ( ESQ )
Email : allenovery01@gmail.com

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr. Simon
Miller
; This is to notify you that you are named as a beneficiary in his LAST
WILL and TESTAMENT
. Please contact the above email address IMMEDIATELY.

BARR. EVA NOTTER (ESQ.)



aaahhh, you were supposed to send them to me...

 

did you look them up in the phone book, don‘t email with them tho.


Topic: Do cheaters ever REALLY get any justice?
Subject: Do cheaters ever REALLY get any justice? - Posted: 1/24/2009 3:08:43 AM
Rhiannon wrote:

Well, every once in a while, you get to see it in real life..

Ex-hsbd. found new lady love before he left me, and he began bringing her around our kids about 6 weeks after he moved out.  He promptly got caught up in his "new romance."

In the divorce, he got the land and I got the house.  He promptly filed a Chapter 7 bankruptcy as soon as the divorced was filed, sold the land, and lived high on the hog while we were struggling.  The proceeds from the land went to a natural gas conversion in her house.  He sold all his furniture since he was moving in with her, and they didn‘t need two of everything.

They took numerous vacations, trips to Mexico, and he rubbed his new love in the kids‘ faces every chance he got. 

They got married.  Six months later, he was forced to resign from his job, and about one month after that, she booted him out of the house and told him she didn‘t want to be married anymore.

Jobless, homeless, penniless, he was forced to move to Florida to live with his parents...



YES!!

Topic: I allowed myself to get Used
Subject: I allowed myself to get Used - Posted: 1/24/2009 12:28:27 PM

listen, you are jumping in to quick, imo.

don‘t lend or give money to a man EVER. IF he don‘t have enough for himself and you, dump him. don‘t sleep with them for at least 3 months. never ever live with a man before marriage.

you are just to big hearted.

 or you drink to much, which makes you unable to OBSERVE these men before you get in to deep.

watch what they do, how they treat other woman in their lives, how much they drink or do drugs. if they support their children. do they support any charities. do they pay their bills on time, keep their homes clean, take care of their clothes, cut the grass, is their car in good condition? how much debt do they have, and god-forbid have they ever been in prison.

its too expensive to give yourself away for free sweetie.

 


Topic: Rhiannon
Subject: Rhiannon - Posted: 1/24/2009 12:55:54 PM
Rhiannon wrote:

Thank you Shally!  You are a wonderful woman, and I am really enjoying getting to know you better.  I appreciate your kindness very, very much.

This has been the hardest week I‘ve experienced in a very, very long time.  I have lost many people, but this is the most grief stricken I have ever been.  The bad behavior of family members acting like jerks has added to the stress.

I really appreciate your support.  It means a lot to me!



BTDT. try to figure that they are just over-come with grief and not acting themselves.

didn‘t work for me, but one can always try.

very sorry for you loss.

lucy has still not recieve her share of granny‘s estate, these 14 months later.

my sister are much smarter and more educated them me, they know the cost of everything and the value on nothing.

hang tight sweetie. you‘ve been there for her and that‘s all that counts at the end of the day.

how was the service? the flowers? did you get to give the eulogy like you wanted?

 


Topic: Birthday Calendar
Subject: Birthday Calendar - Posted: 1/25/2009 3:09:02 AM
Momof4kids wrote:



It is a great site, and fun, however-
I‘m 2,198 weeks old. I need a drink. 



Topic: Scared- need advice
Subject: Scared- need advice - Posted: 1/25/2009 1:03:35 PM

Here is my dilemma. The kids. They love their father very much. I wanted so much to be able to leave without it getting ugly. I don‘t want them to feel caught in the middle. And I had promised myself that I would not speak badly of their father to them.

 

my sister said, its not up to you what kind of father the kids have, its up to him.

and i say, fight fire with fire.


Topic: Should I be scared?
Subject: Should I be scared? - Posted: 1/25/2009 1:14:01 PM
rguerrica wrote:
He is desperate and is begging for me to talk to him. He says he agrees with me now that nobody has the right to take the life another. Do I at least talk to him? I know we cannot be together, but can he be in the life of my son one day?


does he call you? how does he get in touch with you?

if he is still in his country then i would write him letters ONLY about the baby with no return address.

i would not talk to him about anything other then the baby.

he keeps up, he will kill you, and if you resist, he will hurt the one you love, that baby.


Topic: Do cheaters ever REALLY get any justice?
Subject: Do cheaters ever REALLY get any justice? - Posted: 1/26/2009 2:41:12 PM
fairdose wrote:
Just to be crystal clear here to all of you:
- I did not enter this relationship with said jerk knowing he was married.
- the moment I did find out he was married, I was out and ran for the hills. That was my decision. Said jerk tried calling me, emailing me etc. I had to change my numbers and block his address.
- and no, I did not indulge for a second fantasies of him leaving his wife and 3 kids and 2 dogs for me. When I knew he was married, if anything I felt sorry for the wife that she was legally stuck with such human dross and that the kids had such a f*cktard for a father. 
Married guy = Instant turnoff.

So this is the question: Do these guys ever get justice served?


well mine got served alright. with divorce papers.

 


Topic: Rhiannon
Subject: Rhiannon - Posted: 1/26/2009 2:53:01 PM

well rhi, not to be nosey, but didn‘t your step mother have a will?

her executor will have to file it with the courts. it could take along time.

hopefully they will all wander off to snub some one else.


Topic: Kind of new and needing some advice.
Subject: Kind of new and needing some advice. - Posted: 1/26/2009 3:24:28 PM

sweetie, you‘ve been had. that‘s all. its way over, its in the past.

take all your resources and use them for yourself.

whatever it is you don‘t like about yourself or your body, use your own money and fix it.

btw, i truly admire your work ethic. i believe its what saved you.

a man that sends you nude crude photos of his lover, hates you and himself.

go out and get a mani pedi and celebrate your close call and your sweet sweet freedom, let his mommy beg someone to else to pay his lazy way. the sheer gall of that is amazing.

stick around, you ain‘t alone anymore.


Topic: Help with my son...
Subject: Help with my son... - Posted: 1/26/2009 11:30:54 PM

 

i see undiagnoised AAD/Bipolar in AA.

and they do tend to self medicate which leads to over medicating.

what i have not seen is one true bi-polar going off their meds for more then a few days without the ambulance being called, with, frankly, the men in white coats bringing the nets.

to me that is the true test of the diagnosis. if they go off their meds  and start to hallucinate,  they need their meds. usually after they are towed away, so to speak, down here, they "baker act" them and "adjust" their meds.

i had a close friend go off her meds and she told me she did it because she felt "hazy" and like her mind was "wrapped in cotton" when she was taking litium.

so she quit taking it, with disasterous results.

i have no experience with dual afflications, like ADD and Bipolar, only alcohol and drugs.

in any case eves, love ya baby, but after you and he decide how he will learn to remember his tools, like the alarm, or taping a note to the inside of the company truck windshield that reads, TOOLS???,  you might want to let him pay all the money for his next mistake.

its hard, we are mom‘s. we love our children no matter their age or behavior.

xoxo


Topic: Help with my son...
Subject: Help with my son... - Posted: 1/26/2009 11:44:37 PM

I commend you for your courage to seek help.  :)  Its very encouraging to hear your success!  I believe shes like you...she "knows"...yet...unlike you... she not ready to deal with it.

Why does your doctor believe lows are better than highs?

Shes 19,married and just had a baby. :)  I believe shes at a low.  Thats very rare for her.  Shes always "full of life!"

Im extremely worried.  Im praying this will be the break needed for her to seek help.  You‘re correct...she dosent want to believe she needs meds.  Ive tried to tell her....its not a bad thing.  Many people have the condition.  Its a matter of getting the correct meds.  She has so many things going on....husband,new baby...experiencing a low and pushing me away...while she really wants me to be there.  (according to others she has spoken to) Shes snowballing...so to speak.

At this point...all I can do is pray.

 



then why not change your approach.

you are always giving up. so what you been crying. i once cried for 16 days straight inbetween trying to breath, get divorced and move.

go to the store and get a cake. knock on her door and if you get in. LISTEN TO HER. no lectures, no critisism, no mud slinging, no walks down memory lane.

just admire the baby. tell her you love her and then leave.

if she wants to talk about her life her husband or her fears she don‘t wanna hear your ****, she wants to know you can keep her secrets. stay out of her marriage and don‘t slag her old  man.

SHOW her some respect and maybe she‘ll show you the baby.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God‘s world by mistake


Topic: What do you all think about ‘Pick Up‘ and ‘Seduction‘?
Subject: What do you all think about ‘Pick Up‘ and ‘Seduction‘? - Posted: 1/27/2009 12:10:09 AM
and?

Topic: Rhiannon
Subject: Rhiannon - Posted: 1/27/2009 5:26:34 AM

my mother‘s said that the contents of her house were to go to us, her children.

she said the profits from the sale of her house was to be split between her grand children.

however, her will says everything she owned is to go to her daughters. no mention of her grand children.

expect the unexpected is the point.

and without a will, everything goes to her heirs. her "daughters".


Topic: Flapping Bird
Subject: Flapping Bird - Posted: 1/27/2009 6:38:41 PM

its a lamp with a flame. meaning its a hot topic. i believe it gets the designation  when it reaches a certain number of replies.

DD is discovery day.

yes BW and or BS is betrayed wife or betrayed spouse.

i got mixed up with OC which is other child, meaning a child of the affair. i thought it meant outside child.

HOW is what? happy other woman?

 

 


Topic: Ladies...CHECK THIS OUT!!!
Subject: Ladies...CHECK THIS OUT!!! - Posted: 1/28/2009 4:53:40 AM

she has a voice. the two together have potential.

she maybe should have taken off her jacket.

 

she did very well eves. why do you ask?

 


Topic: Help with my son...
Subject: Help with my son... - Posted: 1/28/2009 4:58:30 AM

yes, have him put his car keys inside the tool bag and bingo, can‘t leave without the tools anymore.

 


Topic: he breaks up with me every 4 weeks and blames me
Subject: he breaks up with me every 4 weeks and blames me - Posted: 1/28/2009 5:01:03 AM
Momof4kids wrote:
liexec wrote:

I‘ve been living with my lawyer  boyfriend on and off for 5 years.  About every 6 weeks I say something he doesnt like  and he storms out of the house, won‘t talk to me, breaks up with me and blames me for all our relationship problems.  He upsets me so much its hard to work and I get really depressed and anxious.

We make up after a week or two he comes back says he loves me and then the cycle starts all over again.

He‘s called me useless  and  a finacial burden ( I‘m an ad exec). My two children in their twenties think he‘s abusive.  He‘s been mean to both of them too.  He tries to ban my daughter from my home.

I keep going back to him and I don‘t know  why or how to stop.  When we break up I think of the good times.

Any suggestions?  Thank you.



Change the locks and move on. Some men do little tantrums as a way of getting out to see other women too, so Id consider the next time, the last time.

Honestly, there are so many men that would treat you well, who needs someone who can‘t do anything but put you down, and not treat your children with respect?


i agree with momo, he is binging on booze, drugs or sex while he is gone.

Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 1/28/2009 5:02:50 AM
hey sunny!! how about an update, i need to bake your cake and i want to have it ready on time.

Topic: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children
Subject: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children - Posted: 1/28/2009 5:14:51 AM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:


F*ck Rhi.....You want to pride yourself on raising 3 tough cookies?  You should be feeling SHAME.

"You stepped in to protect your child from her father?

Did it ever occur to you to ...LEAVE.

Or is it you had to do it on your own terms......forget about your childrens feelings.....Momma had to get enough first?

You left anyway..........but not before your kids had to suffer?????

What the hell is wrong with you women?

Your oldest..."got it the worst" You knew this...and you still stayed?

I have no question in my mind why shes upset with you.........




Topic: FMS vs Liars
Subject: FMS vs Liars - Posted: 1/28/2009 5:31:35 AM

Young children are good examples of the sliding
into lies when caught doing something. Afraid of
punishment they patch together as many versions
as they think will get them over, but once caught
and punished they stop the stories, because it
won‘t help them

 

What adults think of as a lie is not the same for a child. It is actually a normal part of childhood development. The meaning behind a lie from a child depends on the age. Preschoolers have a healthy imagination and frequently delve into fantasies. As far as most of them are concerned, the three little bears do live in a house in the woods somewhere.Very young children around two to four years old may not be able to separate reality from their imagination. Other times, if it has been more than a couple of hours, young children honestly may not remember doing something. Therefore, they really are not lying. Children under the age of seven or so indulge in fantasy or wishful thinking. Hearing your child telling a friend some huge story about going on a pirate ship or walking through a jungle can make you pause for thought. Then the friend will start on his tale. This stage will pass when everyone is less gullible and other types of thought are replacing their imaginative thinking.


Topic: Recently Cheated on and Need Your Thoughts
Subject: Recently Cheated on and Need Your Thoughts - Posted: 1/28/2009 6:15:06 AM
Drew J wrote:

"I wonder how Drew feels about emotional affairs??"

physical affairs and emotional affairs would both be clues to me that the person has moved on from me. So why would I want to be with someone who has moved on from me - someone who doesn‘t feel the way for me as I do about them? Seems odd to me.




Topic: Classic Excuses for Cheating
Subject: Classic Excuses for Cheating - Posted: 1/28/2009 7:28:25 AM
meandnotyou wrote:

Here‘s one my sister just got the other day:

"We never go on vacation".

He wants a vacation?!  I‘ll send that 2bitbaldheadedfuck on a vacation alright...all dressed up with an Italian necktie.

 

No offense to my Italian friends intended. 



how‘s your sister now?

oh, and here‘s the one cakie gave me:

"we are in love. i love you lorrie but i am "in love" with her. she is my soulmate".

"she refuses to allow me to sleep anywhere other then next to her. i must be in her bed every night from now on lorrie so i am not coming home ever again".

"happy easter lorrie, i am  not taking anything from the house. if you don‘t like it then pack what you think is mine and leave it in the spare room".

 


Topic: what is infidelity?
Subject: what is infidelity? - Posted: 1/28/2009 7:44:50 AM
allirac111111 wrote:
 Cheating is anything you wouldn‘t do when your partner is in the room.


with your permission i am gonna use that line. thanks.

 

 


Topic: Should I stay or go - HELP
Subject: Should I stay or go - HELP - Posted: 1/28/2009 7:55:59 AM

you hurt his feelings, no matter how he found out.

he may be asking, in a round about, mean way, if he is still your number one sweet patootie.

he may be shaken that in the first days of your majic sweet begining you and he were not on the same page. and now he may be wondering how he could have been so blind. and more, wrong about his own preceptions of you.wondering  what he is missing in your sweet little duplicitous face now.

pucker up and tell him he is the one and you were a fool and it won‘t happen again, unless he snoops and if he does he will regret it.

 promise that he will never have another reason to doubt you ever again and maybe just maybe he will forget that he‘s heard other little fibs from your  lips.

good luck.


Topic: Help with my son...
Subject: Help with my son... - Posted: 1/28/2009 8:05:57 AM
bubblecropper wrote:

Eves, I‘m very forgetful...and I don‘t even have ADHD!!!

When he gets back on to the meds, he should make it part of his routine to do a checklist....even if you could do up a list on the computer and then print one out for every day, if he integrates it into his routine it will not seem so laborious perhaps??? I know that in order for me to do as I‘m supposed to do I have lists for everything, I have a phone with a big memory chip (as opposed to my brains small memory chip!) and I put reminders into that as I need to...I‘d literally be lost without my cell phone.

My heart goes out to him...I know how it feels...it really can sink your self-esteem down into the depths.



i tape notes to the back of the front door and i put my keys into whatever i don‘t want to forget to take.

i put all vouchers in my wallet until i take the tags off the items, then i put them in a tin can for three months.

i used string from  lucy‘s back pack to any project or items that would not fit in the pack back. the key is to move the back pack to the front door.

my sister coco refuses to put the lunch boxes in the childrens back packs. she says its there responsiblity so tough luck if the don‘t have a lunch.

lucy has missed lunch twice due to this and her kids, many many time.

i think they were just too young. but little rickie has many times arrived at middle school without shoes...hth?

when lucy went to middle school i was called many time to bring forgotten book reports, projects and other important papers.

gradually i let her face the music on her own but we do run the check list every morning, it goes like this: ID, Money, Phone, HOUSE KEY.

we still have big problems with her remembering her keys and she has gotten detention twice for not having her ID on at school.

rather then just put it on at home (like her mom) she paid to have two more made so she always has at least one...somewhere(just like her dad).


Topic: bubblecropper
Subject: bubblecropper - Posted: 1/28/2009 8:13:54 AM


“Remember who your true friends are.”

i see you have been on a little more the usual lately and i think you owe me an update on the life and loves of our bubble.

how‘s your mama and your sister?

how‘s school?

steal any hot shoes off e-bay lately?

xoxo


Topic: LOST
Subject: LOST - Posted: 1/29/2009 6:48:22 AM
t.i.v.o. 

Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 1/29/2009 8:40:17 AM
giterdone

Topic: Classic Excuses for Cheating
Subject: Classic Excuses for Cheating - Posted: 1/29/2009 8:44:07 AM
awakening wrote:

"It was my birthday."

WTF!



omg, 

Topic: Catching a Cheater
Subject: Catching a Cheater - Posted: 1/29/2009 8:49:33 AM
borderwinds wrote:
shemigarden wrote:
Wow I had many of those things off that list happen!The cheating jerkoff and I are separated and he says they stopped seeing eachother....(i know he‘s lieing) and I would love to catch him just to throw it in his face!!I‘m tired of being a detective also ...I just want to pay him back before I divorce his ass!!!


I don‘t think there‘s a better way to pay him back other than leaving him.  Atleast that‘s the way I feel.  I could never get him back for the pain he‘s put me through.  I don‘t know if he‘s cheating on me just yet, but all his actions scream of a cheater.  I‘ve subtly tried to do to him what he does to me, but it doesn‘t work.  I‘m not like him.  I could never go out and stay late without calling home and checking on my kids.  I could never leave with my bachelor friends and leave him home alone with my kids.  If I ever catch him cheating, I don‘t think I could go around and sleep with another man just to pay him back either.  It‘s just not the same for women, IMO, as it is for men.  Most of us have to have our hearts in a relationship before we can turn to sex.  If it‘s not in the relationship, you end up feeling worse and you feel dirty.  I don‘t know if that is what you are aiming at when you say you want to pay him back, but I‘ll just let you know right now that it may not be what‘s good for you.

I never cheated on anyone, but in a sense, I considered what I did cheating.  This boy I really loved once before I got married to my hubby dumped me.  I was heart broken.  A guy friend from class once had told me that if I ever needed a friend with benefits, to just give him a call.  One day I saw my exboyfriend out in the halls and I wanted him to see me with another man to "get him jealous".  It was the worst mistake of my life.  That "friends with benefit" tried to treat me like I was a low class whre and when it was all over, even though I had consented to it, not only did I feel like as if I had been raped, I also felt dirty and like I was a low class whre.  Then I felt like I had cheated on that person that I loved, even though we had already broke up.  It hurt to know that he didn‘t even care.  I put myself through all that for nothing.  It just wasn‘t worth it.  I would have done myself the favor of just moving on with my life and proving to him that he‘d lost the best thing that ever happened to him.  Instead, I lowered myself to a very low standard and that‘s the last thing you want to do right now.

Good luck and best wishes.


sorry that happened to you


Topic: Meds....Update
Subject: Meds....Update - Posted: 1/29/2009 8:54:24 AM

 


Topic: Flapping Bird
Subject: Flapping Bird - Posted: 1/29/2009 9:01:07 AM
uberbeotch wrote:

Here‘s my favorite:

DTMFA

as in DUMP THE MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE

yeah!

TTYL,

UB



 

FAYW

 


Topic: newbie
Subject: newbie - Posted: 1/29/2009 11:40:09 AM

 friend of eves.

why are you crying in your avatar?


Topic: Where have all the real men gone?
Subject: Where have all the real men gone? - Posted: 1/30/2009 3:27:40 AM

pretend you don‘t notice that they are dumb.

 


Topic: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children
Subject: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children - Posted: 1/30/2009 3:34:22 AM
talkmary3 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:


F*ck Rhi.....You want to pride yourself on raising 3 tough cookies?  You should be feeling SHAME.

"You stepped in to protect your child from her father?

Did it ever occur to you to ...LEAVE.

Or is it you had to do it on your own terms......forget about your childrens feelings.....Momma had to get enough first?

You left anyway..........but not before your kids had to suffer?????

 





Dear Lorrie,

 

 

 

 I could be wrong on both of these points.

 

 

 

 

We are here to   share our experiences to help others not to insult or hurt them

 

 

 

Sincerely

 

Mary Guimont



not only was i not talking to you mary, but you owe me an apology.

 

 

you are way off base here.

 

 

 

Rhiannon
  Posted: 1/28/2009 10:23 PM Subject: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children
WomanSaver MoFo
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THE GIGIBABY,  Remember my request to block me?

This was supposed to be a serious thread - having to do with the effects of domestic violence on children.  If you are here to take your usual potshots, why don‘t you follow the rules and take your comments to the basement? 

For someone who claims to be "free of anger" you sure seem to do a full time job of chasing people all over the boards trying to pick fights.  Why not do the grown up thing and just leave me alone?   I don‘t have any problem leaving you alone.

Until your most recent potshots in "Agree to Disagree" - on the very day of my stepmother‘s memorial service - I actually considered myself to be your friend.  What I said in that thread initially was about my personal experience and was not directed at you in any way, but you made it about you.  It seems that "burning all bridges" is your style, though, so what‘s one more?  It is beginning to look like I am in pretty good company where that is concerned.

And for that matter, you might try taking your own inventory for a change.  It sounds to me - on closer inspection - that you aren‘t so pristine and perfect yourself.  From what I‘ve read with you and your sister airing each other‘s dirty laundry all over the boards, I‘ve read that you were an "Other Woman" at one time, and more recently I read that you married a man who beat your son before you married him.  I haven‘t made any comments - until now - about any of those posts.  I‘m not interested in bitch fighting.  In fact, when it came to the "Other Woman" issue, I actually said that I was pretty sure we‘d all made mistakes in our lives and had some skeletons in our closets - if we‘d done any real living.  I wasn‘t judging you for any of it - or criticizing you either.  Now that I‘m the new recipient of your "bloody finger" I guess I am seeing what everyone else is talking about


Topic: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children
Subject: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children - Posted: 1/30/2009 4:25:42 AM

The women who so bravely share their experience are far by superior to you as mothers and role models.

 

 

You could have some deep seeded guilt unconscious that you feel that you fail short as being a mother

 

 


Topic: Why people lie
Subject: Why people lie - Posted: 1/30/2009 1:41:09 PM
artpetals wrote:
I met this wonderful man in 2005, he told me that he did not want to be in a committed relationship because he had just gotten out a rotten one, and I was cool I can hang. He‘s in the AF and for three years I went back and forth between MD and VA seeing him at every opportunity. Then I found out he was back in the US and he didn‘t tell me, then I got a little doubtful and I asked him and he admitted that he was living with someone and they have an 8yr old. So how dumb am I, for three years this guy lied to me, making me believe that he wasn‘t available because he didn‘t want to commit when all along it was because he was with someone else. But get this he still wants to see me, he tells me they don‘t speak to each other for weeks and he‘s been through depression, but he‘s apparently staying for the child.  Now he and I had a wonderful relationship all be it in lies, he says he loves me and has not felt this way about anyone, so why was it necessary to lie to me. I just can‘t go on seeing him, because to me it‘s just wrong, but I‘m finding it so hard to let go. I‘ve been totally committed to this man for the past three years, what an idiot!. What should I do?


 not only did he lie to you, he DECEIVED you.

i know it hurts. but there it is.

dump the loser. cut him off without a word.

don‘t talk to him on the phone, in email, snail mail, webcam or instant messages.

if he refuses to see that its best he lets you go, to find happiness with a man that is free, tell him you will tell his wife/mother of his child.

stay strong. you don‘t deserve this.

i have to say, i  learned to LISTEN to men when they tell you things like:

i don‘t want a relationship.

i don‘t want to commit.

i don‘t see myself getting married.

i can  not change anyone but myself and there is not enough love, time or resources left in my life to waste on any man that doesn‘t repect me.

 

you are not alone.


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 1/30/2009 1:51:49 PM

sweetheart, is he a drinker?

do you have family nearby? do you have any skills. did you work before the baby came?

can we help you with an exit plan? a way to take the boy and run?

have you had enough yet?

i am sorry to sound so harsh. i fear for you and your child.

please wait till he is not around and write back to us.

remember to clear the internet "history" of websites visited.

we care.


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 1/30/2009 1:57:49 PM
icouldnotleave wrote:
MY partner is never aggressive to anyone else. he is usually so come and patient and very nice. He loves our son and has never done any physical abuse infront of my son but yes the verbal abuse will pay off, my son is 22 months and has alreafy said fuff off and bitch... that killed me more then anything. I would never think that he would take the abuse any further than what he is now but can i live with this forever? and i heard this usually is how it starts out then gets worse. His father is the same to his mother, never physical though but the things i hear him says to her makes me sick mostly cause i know this is the way hsi heading. His mother has learnt not to say a word and it excepts it but i could never do that, i fight back even though i know it makes it worse.. Its so much more complicated then just leaving. Everything on this land belongs to his parents even our house so the money i have paid of on it, my car i paid for everything is in his parents name, its like he already planned this would happen. I have so much to loose. My Mum lives in a small home with my step father and there is no chance of living there. My father lives a long way away and we actually dont talk. I have plenty of friends to a very unawear of this even happening. I live hoping he will change, his young and maybe he will grow up or maybe to have thearopy together. He does make me feel worthless and thats the hardest part of it all. Im sure his been unfaithful to me to, one quite recently and one when my son was 5 months old. I just relly felt the urge to talk to people about this and knew there were forums avaliable. Nobody would ever knew this was happening. Thankyou for your replys.. i really needed to hear from someone else that i didnt deserve this. xx



no you don‘t deserve this.

perhaps you should talk to your father. its his grand son after all.

don‘t tell your dad everything. or anyone else for awhile.

just test the water with your father and hint that things are not going well with you and the baby.

sometimes if you call the police, in america anyway, the abuser has to go to jail and is forced into therapy.

this might make him more angry. but you would have lots of time to pack and take the car too.

xoxo


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 1/30/2009 2:05:10 PM

http://www.womansavers.com/forum-for-women/support-for-women/4/21568.html

 

helpful article from shally.


Topic: nice guys
Subject: nice guys - Posted: 1/30/2009 3:31:56 PM

i didn‘t write this so don‘t bother slamming me, i have however heard this from a couple of men over the years.

why don‘t woman want nice guys?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hear it all the time: "He was such a NICE Guy, and she‘s such a Heartless Bitch for dumping him."

I get letters from self-professed Nice Guys, complaining that women must WANT to be treated like ****, because THEY, the "Nice Guy" have failed repeatedly in relationships. This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

If you have one bad relationship after another, the only common denominator is YOU. Think about it.

What‘s wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys (tm) are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It‘s no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.

Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it‘s being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one.

Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn‘t appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn‘t want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I‘m here."

The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn‘t mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?"

More than loving the woman in his life, a Nice Guy NEEDS her. "She is my Life, my only source of happiness..." YECH! What kind of a burden is that to place on her? That SHE has to be responsible for YOUR happiness? Get a grip!

Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results.

This ultimately boils down to the fact that Nice Guys don‘t like themselves. Is it any wonder women don‘t like them? In order to truly love someone else, you must first love yourself. Too often Nice Guys mistake obsession for "love".

Get this Guys: INSECURITY ISN‘T SEXY. IT‘S A TURNOFF.

You don‘t have to be an ego-inflated, arrogant jerk. You just have to LIKE yourself. You have to know what you want out of life, and go after it. Only then will you be attractive to the kind of woman with whom a long-term relationship is possible.


Topic: bubblecropper
Subject: bubblecropper - Posted: 1/30/2009 3:48:22 PM

 

smoochies yas.

 

bubbles, i am so glad to hear of all your success. my god, how time flies and how well you and yours are doing.

you deserve every bit of well being, acheivement and happiness. you have earned it.

when you hang out your shingle, let me know. so i can book an appointment

you are one of the few woman i can take hearing the truth from. i trust you and i think you are da bomb our bubble.

smoochies.

stick around.

as for the gmail chat. i rarely get there with you or tula because of the time difference, but pm me and i can be on anytime sunday after 3. we can invite tula as well. maybe we can invite thom and busty. m.e. and momo.

i got a note from dag. he and his are fine.

xoxxoo

 


Topic: A long rant
Subject: A long rant - Posted: 1/30/2009 4:26:05 PM
borderwinds wrote:

I know it‘s sort of annoying to put up a long rant, but I need to vent once again.  If you don‘t want to read too much, then I‘ll just warn you right now that this is going to be a very long post.  I‘ll try to keep it as short as possible but so much has happened and I need more advice than what I get from the only two friends I have.  I guess I just want someone to push me and tell me that I have reasons to suspect and that I have every reason to leave him.  I used to think my husband was a good man and that if I left him I would never find anyone like him.  I still think that, even though he‘s been acting like he has, atleast he‘s not as bad as what other women have to put up with, especially if he really isn‘t cheating.  Here‘s my story:
Frank is my husband.
Lopez is his friend who used to work with him at the store.
Rosie is Lopez‘s wife.
Noe is a coworker who happens to be Franks manager.
Gloria is also a manger from a different department who is also the OW.

A little history, Noe and Gloria supposedly hate each others guts and they are always trying to get each other in trouble.  Supposedly it is because Noe claims Gloria is always begging him to sleep with her and Gloria denies it.  Noe also got my husband in trouble once over something they both did, but he only turned on my husband and wiped his hands clean like he didn‘t do nothing.  Now Frank wants to get back at Noe and he‘s trying to gather allies and one of his best allies is Gloria, because she gets to go to the manager meetings where she tells Frank everything that Noe does and says about him.

It all started one time when I was snooping around his phone and I found a message from Gloria.  She hadn‘t said anything bad, but the tone of voice she used just rubbed me the wrong way.  It was too sexy, too needy.  It didn‘t sound right.  So I figured I‘d keep an eye out for her number.  Then, one time when I was calling my husband and he didn‘t answer, he came home and the baby accidently pushed the call button.  I took the phone away from him to press stop and noticed that he hadn‘t dialed any numbers, just accessed the recent calls list.   To my surprise, when I was calling him that he didn‘t answer, he had been on the phone with Gloria...when he was supposedly playing soccer!  He never answers my calls when he‘s playing soccer, why does he answer hers? 

We argued and all and in the end, I figured there was something going on here.  I checked the phone bills from the past and noticed that, even though he wasn‘t talking to her every day, the few times he did talk to her their calls usually lasted over 30 minutes.  I also noticed the calls were made when I wasn‘t around.  That irked me the wrong way.  He had been acting differently before I found all of this out.  He had all the red flags of a cheater, deleting his phone log, spending less time with the family, being forgetful, trying to avoid us, etc.  So I decided I need to investigate and I popped a recorder in his car.

I was finding nothing and was about to give up when I found a recorder where he says "She prefers to be with me" and I can hear him say something about Gloria and then something about "Borderwinds and me".  I kept the recording and later tried to break it down with a sound editting program and had no good luck, except that there was a time where I could swear they were fighting over someone and it sounded like someone said "You already have your wife, let me have her" and that came before he said "yeah, but Borderwinds and me, fuzzy fuzzy".  I suspected they were fighting over someone.

And to me, that someone was "Gloria" because she was the only one who called him and he called her and they would have 30 minute conversations.

But I didn‘t say nothing until another recording popped up a week or two later after that one where he‘s bragging to his friends.  He‘s talking about how this guy "Lopez" is always talking about all the chicks he‘s with but not him.  "Sometimes, while the managers are standing there looking at something, I sneak into the freezer at work and start kissing her and tell her ‘grab me here baby‘ and I start fondling her tits‘.  It lasts 20 or 30 seconds and then I walk out of there and pretend nothing happened and no one even notices."

Naturally I was infuriated and wanted to confront him about it, but my intuition was telling me not to let him know about the recordings because if he found out about them and he was able to sneak a lie past me, I‘d lose whatever opportunity to know if he was telling me a truth or not.  So at first I tried to trick him into admission by claiming someone saw him doing crap in the freezer with another chick.  He denied it up and down and even asked me to bring that person to his face so they could confront them for lying.  I was trying to avoid showing him the recording because I knew once I did, he‘d be playing it safe in the car next time.  Instead, I called Gloria and tried to trick her into admission, but she claimed she didn‘t talk to married men, much less leave them messages on their cell phones and that maybe I had the wrong person.  I asked her how she thought I got her number and she asked to know then who my husband was.  I saw no other alternative and so I told her and then she swore up and down that she had nothing to with him that he wasn‘t even to her taste etc.  Something in her conversation would play an important role later and that was when she told me that day that someone had warned her to be careful because I was upset she was talking to Frank.  It was odd at the moment that someone would say that considering the **** hadn‘t hit the fan yet.  In my eyes, only my husband would know that I was upset about them talking, which means he must have told a close friend something and that person went and told her.  When I confronted my husband after that conversation with her, I told him that and he said it must have been "Lopez".  Lopez and Gloria, according to him were very good friends and he must have been the one who told her to watch out.

Well, in the end, I had no other alternative but to show him the recording and he denied it up and down at first claiming he must have been drunk, then saying he was just trying to make himself sound like a player with his friends but that was all, it wasn‘t real.  He was just bragging.  Then he claimed that he knew I was recording him and that he just said it to "teach me a lesson".  We argued back and forth and although he may have thought things were resolved with me on that issue, for me things weren‘t.  However, I had no concrete evidence so I tried to not only work on our relationship, but also work on the little evidence I had.   I only had the other recording where you can clearly hear him say "She prefers to be with me" and I was wonder who this "she" was.  I downloaded a program that helps you eliminate sounds so I could break it down.  He was in the car when I was recording, so the wind and all muddled alot of what he was saying.  The program was pretty good that I was able to break down some parts and I remember then thinking "Wait a minute!  This sounds like they are fighting over some chick!"  However, I was never able to break the recording down well enough to verify it well, especially since the program was just a free trial and the trial expired.  I figured I was out of luck and only prayed that if he was cheating on me that I‘d find out eventually and soon.

One day I finally got to meet this Gloria.  There was a wedding and I remember he didn‘t want to go.  I didn‘t want to go either, but when he heard that, he all of a sudden wanted to go without me with my brother.  I found that odd and I played with it saying, if you‘re going then I guess I‘ll go too.  He tried to change his mind but I kept pushing him to go.  Little did I know that this wedding was for someone he worked with.  All his coworkers would be there, even Gloria.  When we got there I noticed he practically snapped the baby from my hands and was holding him, IMO, like a shield.  Then he walked really fast in front of me, scanned the room and immediately found Gloria, went straight to her and then me walking behind him, caught up to them with just enough time for him to introduce me to her.  She was stunningly beautiful AND he made me sit with her.  I noticed he seemed aweful nervous and it seemed like he wanted to stare at Gloria but was forcing himself not to.  Then Gloria leaves and goes Lord knows where and he leaves to go outside to the parking lot.  I go out there to check if he‘s with her.  He‘s not.  He‘s with the guys talking near the cars.  We were finally leaving and as we‘re walking out, I see her talking to this guy, their heads real close and they are looking at a cell phone and their positions look a little too intimate, so figured it was that 15 year old boyfriend she had told me about.  Then my husband says bye and calls the man "Lopez" and I realize that that‘s Gloria‘s "good friend" who had forwarned her to watch out with me because I was upset about her talking to my husband.  Something was fishy here.

Weeks after that incident, Lopez comes over to the house and invites my husband to go to his ranch and pick up fire wood.  They leave and come back and unload the truck.  My husband goes inside and Lopez tell‘s me "Look, I know you and your husband had some issues about him talking to Gloria, but I just want you to know that she‘s with me.  I had the same problem with my wife.  She thought me and Gloria were going around because we were always talking on the phone, but we‘re all just friends."  I didn‘t want to go into details about my suspicions, especially because I didn‘t know him, so I told him not to worry about it.  That issue had already been resolved, or so I lied to him that it was.  What stuck to me was that he had said "She‘s with me" and I found that odd considering I knew Lopez was a married man and it almost sounded like he was saying she‘s his lover.  I tried pushing it aside, but it stayed in the back of my head and ended up playing an important role later.

Later that day, I didn‘t know this happened at first until my husband told me, my husband Frank wanted to show Lopez who his enemies were.  They were hanging out in the neighbors garage when he called a coworker named "Noe" and put him on speaker phone and pretended to ask about Lopez.  Noe started talking all sorts of crap about Lopez, and when Lopez had heard enough he signaled Frank to hang up.  Later into the night, my husband claims that he sensed a change in Lopez, almost as if he had grown some anger towards him (Frank).  They were joke wresteling and it seemed that Lopez was being a little too earnest and when my husband started beating him at his game, he (Lopez) got all pissed off and just took off.

The next day, it‘s just me and my husband and we‘re having a little cook out when he asks me out of the blue if I know Gloria‘s phone number.  I did, but I didn‘t want him to know that so I said no and then asked why.  He tells me that after Lopez left that night, he apparently told Gloria that he was scared because he came home and saw blood in his hands and that he remembered pulling out a gun and a knife on Frank and my neighbor and that he went and told everyone at work that Frank had put Noe on speaker phone.  So now Noe knew what Frank did and he didn‘t want Noe to know that because he was trying to set him up.  Apparently, they‘re trying to get Noe in trouble because Noe had previously gotten them (Gloria and Frank) in trouble.   Payback in other words.   His "plan" would be ruined if Noe found out he was being betrayed by the person who was acting like he was his friend.  But something wasn‘t adding up here.  I still didn‘t understand why he needed to talk to Gloria, if he had previously told me that all their talks were work related and this had nothing to do with work.  His excuse didn‘t make any sense.  His excuse was to repeat the events of that night again and that made even less sense.  Why would Lopez get mad at Frank for putting Noe on speaker phone?  Frank was doing him a favor, so why would he get mad?  I told him I still didn‘t understand what Gloria had to do with all of this and his need to call her if he claimed he only talked to her about work.  So he goes on to try and calm me down and explains that Lopez and Gloria are lovers.  I asked him if Gloria knew Lopez was married and he said yes.  Then I asked him how he expected me to trust that bitch if she had previously told me she doesn‘t mess with married men and here she is screwing around with one and my husband talks to her too?!  He said it was all about revenge because apparently Noe had tattled at work about Lopez and Gloria‘s  relationship and they ended up getting called to the office and getting in trouble for it.  I was sick and tired of hearing about this Gloria chick being involved in all of this and I just snapped and told him that none of this was making any sense and that I didn‘t understand what the hell he needed to talk to her for if this wasn‘t work related and that I thought that what was going on here was that they were all fighting over her like a bunch of stupid kids and I was tired of all this **** and wasn‘t going to put up with it. 

He said, "Not me!  Lopez and Noe maybe, but not me!"  To me he sounded like a guilty child trying to lie.

I said "Obviously yes you, because for some reason she‘s caught up in all of this and so are you and if it‘s more important to you that you talk to her than it is what I feel, then I hope there‘s a place in her home where you can stay because you sure as hell aren‘t staying here."  We went through the usual argument of "she‘s just a friend", "she‘s the only one who can help get back at Noe" blah, blah, blah.  I didn‘t believe any of it and went in and didn‘t talk to him for the rest of the night.

But I did think about what was going on and something was definitely wrong here.  I was figuring that what would make more sense to me is if Lopez had got mad at Frank for talking to Gloria instead of Noe.  That‘s the only way she would be coming into the picture in my opinion, because why else would my husband need to talk to her?  Especially when he said that when he talked to her, she seemed upset with him.  Why would she be upset with him if it had nothing to do with her?  Why would Lopez bring up my husbands relationship with Gloria and me that day?  The wheels were turning and so I logged on and checked the calls that day.  Lo and behold there was Gloria‘s number for that day.  Not only one time, but 5 times and one time lasting more than 33 minutes.  It was making sense to me now.

To top things off, there was more to it.  Apparently my husband found out from Gloria the next day after checking the phone log that Lopez went and told Gloria that the reason he had pulled out a gun on Frank (my husband) was because he was talking about her and how good looking she was and how he‘d like to f*** her.  I snuck in the question and asked him who had talked to Gloria that night and he said no one.  They only talked to Noe, but I insisted that someone talked to Gloria and I wanted to know who did, so he claims he didn‘t know because he left his phone there in the garage when he was stepping in and out.  He didn‘t know if during his pee break, or maybe his fridge run, someone got his phone to call her. 

I said "33 minutes" and you don‘t know who was calling her from your phone?  Our house isn‘t too far from the neighbor‘s house, maybe a few feet apart, and as I recall, he seemed to have spent the whole night at the neighbors house, but suddenly he remembered it was Lopez, but he (Lopez) had deleted the calls so I wouldn‘t get mad because he knew I had issues with Gloria talking to my husband.

It made me think I was more right than I thought, especially because my husband started to panick claiming that Gloria had filed a complaint at HR because someone had put "Noe" on speaker phone and he was talking crap about her and Lopez.  Why would my husband be panicking and so I asked him.  He claimed because since Lopez had already told everyone and Noe suspect Frank was the one who put him on speaker phone, Noe would go in and tell them who it was that had put him on speaker phone.  It would be discovered that that someone was my husband and they would have to call my husband in and he would get in trouble and probably lose his job.  Again, it made no sense.  I asked him why he would lose his job if this wasn‘t even work related?  Why in the world was Gloria the one filing the complaint when it should have been Lopez?  Why was she even filing a complaint in the first place if it had nothing to do with anyone of their jobs?  I lost control and got into it with him and ended up kicking him out, but he didn‘t go, so he pretended or really thought that just because he was still around I was OK with all of this.  I wasn‘t.

Well, things seemed pretty quiet up until two days ago.  My neighbor came over and invited my husband to go on a beer run to the store with him.  Now the stores around here aren‘t that far, so when 30 minutes had passed by and then 40, I knew something was up.  I tried calling him to ask him if there were making the beer or buying it, but he didn‘t answer.  So I got the kids in the car and cruised around somewhere where I suspect him of being.  A while back he had revealed he had gone to play pool with the neighbor and I didn‘t know he had done that, and since the neighbor barely goes out of the city, and the only places with pool around here are the local bars, I assumed he‘d gone to a bar without telling me.  I don‘t care if he goes to a bar with his friends, but atleast tell me.  So that night I went looking for him there and there he was!  I decided something was VERY wrong here, and when he got home I asked him the question of whether they were making the beer or buying it and he got all upset.  "What!  I can‘t hang out at a friends house for a little while without having to account to you as to where I am?!" and he acts like I‘m so wrong for even thinking the worse of him.  But I knew better and he had lied to me so smoothly, so like the other times where he tried to make me look like the bad guy for even doubting him I just knew it was time I did the unexpected.

For sure I was going to leave him.  It was too much disrespect.  I remembered the other times when I suspected he was at a bar where I would call him and he wouldn‘t answer and he never told me anything.  The way he treated me and the fact that that same day I was calling him before the bar incident and he didn‘t answer my calls, but when I called from my moms phone he answered for her.   However, I wanted to do one last thing.  I wanted to find out what happened that night at the neighbors garage so I wouldn‘t leave doubting that I was wrong.  I went and looked for Lopez‘s wife.  Lopez‘s wife had to know something, especially since Lopez had said they‘d had a previous problem involving Gloria.

I had thought about it before and had driven past their house, but was never able to find her alone.  Her husbands truck was always outside.  It would be much harder, especially since Frank had told me that something was wrong with Lopez because since the garage incident, he all of a sudden stopped showing up for work.  He thought Lopez had quit and I was beginning to think that considering that before this day, his truck seemed to always be outside.  But my luck would have it that on this day it wasn‘t and his wife was outside and so I stopped and called her over.  Her name is Rosie.

I told her what her husband had said about them having it out because of Gloria and I wanted to know what she knew about this Gloria.  To my surprise, the lady didn‘t know what her husband was talking about.  She didn‘t know any Gloria and had never gotten into it with him over her.  I confirmed that that was what he said.  She confirmed that she didn‘t know what he was talking about and then became suspicious and began to question me about Gloria and who she was.  I explained a little about the garage incident and how she seemed to be involved in all of this and that I suspected that my husband had called her that night but he was blaming her husband.  She was shocked to hear that my husband would blame her, but she understood that from the little I had explained to her things were not right here, either for her or for him.  She has some friends that work where my husband works at and she made some calls and tried to see if they could investigate who this Gloria was because I didn‘t know her last name.  When she hung up she asked me to confirm if she had heard right that her husband had used my husbands phone to talk to this Gloria.  I confirmed it and told her that that is what my husband was saying but that I wasn‘t believing him because what I thought is that they were ALL fighting over this chick.

My luck would have it that as I finished that sentence, Lopez shows up!  I panick and beg her to not tell him anything and if he asks what I‘m doing there to say I was driving by and we recognized each other and I stopped to say hi.  He came over to shake my hand and we lied to him about our meeting and he took off inside the house.  She asked for my number and said she would call me and I begged her one last time not to say anything until she had talked to me.

I drove home shaken, the only words coming out of my mouth were "F***!  F***! F***!"  I knew **** was about to hit the fan and I wasn‘t too wrong.  As soon as I got home my husband is calling me and asking me what the hell did I do?!  I told him I didn‘t do anything that wasn‘t expected to happen.  He tries making me feel bad claiming how could you go and tell her that Lopez is cheating on her and how could you ruin a relationship like that.  I told him I never said Lopez was cheating on her and that if Lopez said that, then he‘d just put the noose around his own neck.  According to him, Rosie called him and started threatening him with starting a gun fight and that her husband had a gun and why was he saying Lopez was with Gloria to cover his ass and yada yada.  I thought to myself that maybe Rosie was going to be the kind to stand by her man and now because of this there was going to be a feud of families, but I kept up hope that I wrong and when my husband finally came home we got into it.  He tries to make himself and Lopez the victims and I tell him I‘m not buying into his bull**** and if they are all in trouble then that‘s what they get for pulling **** and lying about everything.  He said he didn‘t know what lies I was talking about because he had been as honest with me as possible.  I told him he knew what I was talking about and I couldn‘t believe he was still going to act like he was the victim here.

I reminded him of how sweetly he lied to me the night before about the bar and how the hell was I expected to believe any other words he had previously spoken if he had said them just as sweetly.  I told him I didn‘t believe jack about what happened that night at the garage and I didn‘t believe jack about why Gloria was involved in all of this, especially since she lied to me, he lied to me, and Lopez lied not only to me but he was lying to his wife as well.  He starts trying to get me scared claiming that I don‘t know the **** I started because Lopez is out looking for him with a gun and that he‘s going to get his gun and go looking for Lopez and see if they didn‘t end up killing each other.  I told him it wasn‘t my problem and if that‘s what he wanted to do then I wasn‘t going to stop him if that‘s what he thought.  I guess he was expecting me to pull him out of the car when he was saying this, because he stops half way getting into it and comes back out and never leaves.

At that point, Rosie calls his cell and he puts her on speaker phone so I can hear how she talks to him.  I realized that she wasn‘t backing her man and that she was just trying to push Frank into telling her what he knew.  My husband was nervously trying to be polite and it was irritating him how he just kept repeating "Gloria‘s my friend.  Gloria‘s our friend.  She‘s just a friend.  She‘s only a friend."  In the end she asks him one last time to confess what he knows or she is going to call his work and turn him in for some trouble he got out of a while back because she knew about it and she knew that would make him lose his job.  She hung up.

My husband hangs his head and starts crying and then looks up and starts begging me.  "Mami, please don‘t do this!  I swear on all that is holy, on my beautiful Virgin Mary mother who watches over me, my kids, my mother that Gloria and I are just friends.  Please believe me!  I never slept with her.  I never touched her.  I never had anything to do with her other than just be friends and she‘s not even to my taste.  There‘s nothing on her that‘s appealing to me.  Please believe me!  You need to talk to Rosie and tell her it was all a misunderstanding, if not for me, atleast for my job because you know that‘s all that is supporting this family!"  I let him squirm a bit because I just kept reminding myself how easy it is for him to lie, but I figured that if I was going to screw him over after we got divorced, then I did need him to be working or how else would he be paying child support and spousal support?  So I called Rosie and lied and told her that my husband had admitted to me that it wasn‘t Lopez, but him, that was going with Gloria.  He was just using Lopez to cover up his ass. 

Rosie is a smart woman.  She didn‘t buy it and I asked to meet with her again where her husband wasn‘t going to be present and we talked.

I told her everything I knew, even that I had lied to her about it being my husband, but that I needed her not to file that complaint because I needed my husband to work so I could screw him over later.  She said she hadn‘t been serious but that she was just trying to twist his arm into talking, but after hearing all the story she understood why there was something fishy in this whole situation.  Especially when she started telling me what she knew.

One of those things was the fact that her husband hadn‘t just recently stopped working.  He hadn‘t been working for over 2 months.  He had quit a long time ago.  Why did my husband say that he all of a sudden stop showing up to work after the incident?

The other was that he had never been into the office because of his relationship with Gloria.  She had a friend who worked in HR whom she called who swore up and down that the only time her husband had been there was when he was letting them know he was going to quit.  Why did my husband say that Noe had got them in trouble then and that they had been called in to the office?

So finally, Rosie calls Gloria and Gloria starts sounding like she did the time I called her.  She was saying the same **** as if it was practiced and to top it all of she starts talking smack about me not knowing I‘m there and so I pull the phone away from Rosie and start telling her off that whatever she‘s got to say she needs to come and tell it to my face and not behind my back where I can‘t defend myself.  We get into it and then things calm down and I let her know that all I want to know was who was talking to her that night.  Was it Lopez or Frank? 

She said it was Frank.

My dear husband Frank.

I said that‘s all I need to know, oh, actually no, also, he‘s got nowhere to go, do you mind lending him a room in your house?

She said no she didn‘t want him in her house because they were just friends.

So I hang up with her and I comment a couple of things with Rosie and take off.  On my way home, I call my husband and tell him to pack his **** and he better not be there when I get home or I‘m calling the cops.  He says he doesn‘t know what‘s going on and that we need to talk and he needs to know what happened so he can adequately defend himself and I said there was nothing he needed to say because his "friend" Gloria had just said all that needed to be said for him.  I also informed him that his good "friend", the one he preferred to talk to over my emotions, wanted to let him know that there is no room in her home for him because she wants nothing to do with him, so he may as well call his guy friends, the one he spends more time with than with me, to see if those good friends will spare him a room.

As tough of a bitch as I‘m sounding, I ain‘t one, so when I got home and he was still there I still insisted that he needed to leave, but I didn‘t call the cops.  I‘m here letting him know what his wonderful "friend" had to say about him and how all his lies were coming back to get him and that I hoped he thought they were worth more than losing his family when Lopez shows up.  At first I was scared that I was about to have a gun fight in my yard with the kids outside, but then I see these two guys who are supposedly mad at each other do their man hand shake and smiling at each other and talking about how "silly" their wives are acting and it occurred to me how they were still talking about the incident as if their lies were true and I figured they were going to want to conspire on how to cover each others asses now.  It occurred to me that it wouldn‘t be long before they got in touch with Gloria and they may have something to do later on.  I figured I needed to put my foot in the door and stop any conspiring they were planning and walked out there pretending that I was apologizing to Lopez, but when they both started attacking me with their "how could you?!" I blew up on both of them and told them it wasn‘t my fault they were all a bunch of pig headed liars who liked to stick their **** in some slut and then cry fowl when their wives had them by the balls.

Lopez tries blaming me for telling his wife and I tell him he‘s a stupid **** because all I did was go to her with the information HE gave me and that it wasn‘t my fault HE was the one that lied to me.  He‘s the one that opened his big fat mouth and put the noose around his neck AND I ain‘t the one that put the gun to your head to go f***ing around your wives back.

They disgusted me and as I was putting my kids into the car to go get them something to eat (I couldn‘t think well enough to cook) I could hear them still going at it with their lies and all I could hear was "Noe this and Noe that and Noe, Noe, Noe" and it pissed me off.  I turned around and said cut it with your bull ****!  It‘s always Noe this and Gloria that and let‘s get revenge on Noe with Gloria and all your asses are being handed back to you because of that ****ing bitch and where‘s Noe?  He‘s sitting at home comfortably with his wife while you all are over here trying to figure the best way to keep your balls from getting shopped up!  And by the way, I already told Frank but I may as well tell you too Lopez.  Your "friend" Gloria said she ain‘t taking any of your asses in.  Some "friend" she is, no?  I hope she was worth it.  I laughed and drove away.

When I got back, there was my husband still trying to convince me he did nothing wrong and I keep telling him Gloria did all the talking for him when he gets a call on his cell phone.  At first he looks at it and makes a face and puts the phone back in his pocket like he‘s not going to answer it in front of me, but then hands the phone over to me and says he doesn‘t know who it is and doesn‘t want to answer it.

When I answered, I knew it was Gloria, but she was quiet at first and I could hear her there but she wouldn‘t answer.  When she did, I swear I heard her say "Is this Frank‘s bitch wife?" and I said "Excuse me?" and she said, "Is this Frank‘s wife?"  I confirmed but I was already wondering what the hell she was doing calling my husband and from a blocked number no less.  I assumed she was calling because while I was getting the kids something to eat they all deviced some sort of conspiracy to get us to calm down.

She tells me that she couldn‘t say what she did to me and then have a clean conscience so she confessed that when she told me she had talked to Frank that night that she hadn‘t, but she only said that because she knew Lopez‘s wife was there.  She said she‘d heard stories of how Rosie is and that she fears her and that she doesn‘t want to lose her job, she doesn‘t want her to come and beat her up, and she had sort of used me by telling me it was Frank so there wouldn‘t be any more problems.  Then she begs me to talk to Rosie because she fears for her life and to convince her that there is nothing going on with her and Lopez.  She tells me it is Lopez she is seeing, but she doesn‘t want Rosie to know that and that after this she doesn‘t want any more trouble and so she‘ll stop seeing Lopez.  She swore again and said it as honestly as possible that she was just friends with my husband, never had anything to do with him sexually or in an intimate way, and all their relationship was about just being friends and teaming up to get revenge on Noe.

I told her that after all that had happened, I did fear for her safety and that I would do what I could to calm Rosie down, but that I didn‘t believe any of them because they had all lied to me AND they were lying to Rosie and what made me any different from Rosie?  What if she called Rosie and told Rosie the same thing she‘s telling me?  I don‘t know, but I do know that Rosie will hurt her and I don‘t like violence, especially if I‘m the one that started it (by tattling I mean), so I just said I‘d do what I could but I wasn‘t promising that whatever I did would get Rosie to back off.

Ofcourse, I don‘t want to betray Rosie‘s trust and I‘m afraid that she will eventually find out I knew or something and she‘ll think the worse of me.  I put myself in her shoes and think that I‘d be disappointed if my one allie holds that information from me like that.  I went to her and I can‘t back off now, but  I‘m wondering if it‘s the right thing to do because now that I know Rosie and I‘ve heard all these horror stories and even she confessed to beating the crap out of some other chicks and how she‘s not afraid to do go and cause havock at the store, I wonder if I should tell her anything?  What if she tells Lopez I told her and Lopez comes looking for me and I have my kids here at home?  I don‘t want to be worrying about a drive-by or anything like that.  I also don‘t want her to think that I just went to cause trouble and now backed out because since I‘m fine now I could care less about what happens to her.  I really don‘t know what to do.

 

I STOPPED HERE FOR NOW

 



As for my husband, I think I can believe now that they had nothing going on, but I‘m still wondering if this was all just a conspiracy.  However, it‘s like my friend said, if Gloria were lying to you and just saying that to both you and Rosie, then why would she admit being with Lopez if she knows you are an allie to Rosie and she knows that if you go and tell Rosie she‘ll go kick her ass.  She could have just said they had nothing going on and that they were just "friends" instead of being honest with you like that.

Ofcourse, I talked to my husband about this again and he recounted the story and I asked him questions on the parts that caused all the suspicions.  His story was much the same but this time he included that the speaker phone conversation had mentioned Gloria and that Lopez had stopped working there a long time ago.  He claimed I misunderstood him and I know I didn‘t, but I‘ll let it go..I think.  He still swears that Gloria and Lopez had been called to the office for employee relationships some time back, but not because he saw it, but because he heard about it.  He said he never said anything about F-ing Gloria or anything vulgar about Gloria that night, that Lopez was hallucinating and that he even went and told his wife he pulled out a gun on them and that wasn‘t even true. 

And I don‘t know what to believe because Rosie told me that Lopez does drugs and maybe he was on drugs that night?  Who knows, but maybe I‘m just tired of dealing with this and just want to believe that my husband has nothing to do with this Gloria chick.  I‘m leaning more towards believing him because that isn‘t what is bothering me anymore.  The only thing that is bothering me right now is all the lying and I told him I‘m fed up with it.

As much as it hurts, I still insisted that he needs to get out and he still believes it‘s because I think he‘s cheating on me with Gloria.  It ain‘t that.  It‘s the lying to me about the bar knowing that I have no problem with him going out to bars.  He‘s done it before, why is he hiding this from me now if he has nothing to hide?  It‘s the valuing his friends over his own family and teaching him where that leaves him.  It‘s about teaching him a lesson that if he‘s going to be with me, he better value me like I deserve to be valued if not stop wasting my time.

He said he just needs time to leave.  I told him I would give it to him if he could pay me back all the time I wasted on him.

But words are worthless, he‘s still here and I‘m just so tired I don‘t know if I‘m just giving up or just doing what is right by thinking I should just give him another chance.  But if I do that, he‘ll never learn his lesson like he always does, so for now, I‘ll just think and hope someone here who took the time to read this whole rant will have some good advice for me.  Thanks and sorry for the long rant.




lend her the recorder

Topic: Firefighter drowned at Lake Tahoe
Subject: Firefighter drowned at Lake Tahoe - Posted: 1/31/2009 1:34:06 PM

may god bless him and keep him.


Topic: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children
Subject: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children - Posted: 1/31/2009 1:55:41 PM
shally wrote:
I find it very telling that someone is being attacked in the abuse section.

Use to be that the Abuse Section was respected and there was a silent agreement that the crap would stay off this forum.

That Rhi has felt the need to explain and defend herself TO ME is despicable.

It worries me in the sense that abuse victims are filled with fear and seeing this only adds to the fear. But I do hope they also see an abuse victim - Rhi, standing up for herself, making no excuses and telling her story in a way that shows others. Take no ****, be who you are and be proud. Period.


this was the very last place i thought douche would do this.

sorry shally, i know you stick up for her. she‘s a troll sweetie. plain and simple.

 

please don‘t feed the troll.

 

 


Topic: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children
Subject: What are the lasting effects of domestic violence on adult children - Posted: 1/31/2009 2:42:29 PM

okay shally, we can try it your way.

if db leaves off rhi from now on then i will yield to your better nature.

i have to say, when she did it to me and busty and momo and ramble and her sister, thom and m.e. and everyone except you and rhi, it was "lorrie asks for it, lorrie deserves it, now its someone you happend to like and someone others think is harmless and NOW you care.

if the puppy pees on you or goes back after rhi, don‘t come crying to us, cuz honey, we btdt.

and even the tee shirt sucked.


Topic: southern and everyone who want to be
Subject: southern and everyone who want to be - Posted: 1/31/2009 6:02:54 PM
oldwiz wrote:
shelbelle wrote:

how about:

i burnt them biscits slap up!

i am a southern belle



...or when dinner‘s ready you don‘t serve it, you "take it up."


if you are really southern, give me the order of the four meals a day, starting with breakfast.

 can you give the time of each meal?

 

 


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/1/2009 12:42:54 PM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:


Focus Thom.......try really hard.  Oldwiz didnt have any problem sticking with the thread topic.

I dont have a problem sticking with the thread topic.

You on the other hand..............

You‘re out in the left field Thom.  Some refer to it as...yammerville! 

You‘re there alone buddy...............



 take it to the basement douche.

you can disagree and circle jerk yourself all day with rolling clowns and lol‘s till your face turns more red.

but you can not make fun of or insult the members here.

you do not tell grown men and woman to "focus", "try really hard".

we ain‘t your kin, your kids or your students.

take it out of here.

 


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/1/2009 12:46:11 PM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:
ThomThom wrote:
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:
ThomThom wrote:
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:

Try looking at the big picture.  You‘ll see it in a jiffy.  LOL

Old wiz made a valid point in regards to her son.

Her BF/H isnt showing either of them love and respect.

If you "love" in a healthy way..........you simply dont treat each other with so much disrespect.

The child is soaking up all this dysfunction......

Real "healthy love" would protect the child from having to endure the issues of the parents.

The sad case is.....the parents dont know what their issues are......anymore than what "love" is. 

The cycle continues.............



I knew you were shortsighted but this takes the cake.

How many women are out there that love their children dearly but despise the father?

Are you saying that love the woman has for her child is "sick"?  



Focus Thom.......try really hard.  Oldwiz didnt have any problem sticking with the thread topic.

I dont have a problem sticking with the thread topic.

You on the other hand..............

You‘re out in the left field Thom.  Some refer to it as...yammerville! 

You‘re there alone buddy...............



Got it, you just figured out that you made a fool of yourself again and would like to deflect.

 

Carry On.



Not at all Thom......You‘re attempting to steer the conversation in an entirely different direction.

I got it back on track.

Feel free to continue to yammer all you like...........




Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/1/2009 3:39:59 PM

 

 

Any woman who stays with a man who verbally and/or physically abuses her is emotionally sick.

She is only capable of loving her child in the same sick manner

so you are saying, sick like you then?


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/1/2009 3:41:51 PM

db bathers on

The act of  staying in an unhealthy enviroment creates problems for kids.....they‘re just kids. 

so does living in the park with no roof or shelter at all, not even a car to sleep in.

cuz that would be unhealthy


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/1/2009 3:44:37 PM

touche‘s tripe....anyone with an ounce of common sense can see the problem is quite simple.

 

well that lets you out then. Lol....

 

 

 


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/1/2009 7:27:07 PM
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:

 



Are you kidding me!  LOL!  I never stayed.........


or got paid.

 


Topic: why do i just live with his abuse
Subject: why do i just live with his abuse - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:18:18 AM
http://www.womansavers.com/forum-for-women/support-for-women/4/21601.html

Topic: nice guys
Subject: nice guys - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:22:36 AM
Drew J wrote:
"Nice guys don‘t always come in last.  Some of us actually find nice gals who appreciate and value us.  Those are the ones worth waiting for!"

You should know. Your wife ****ed around on you and now that the women get older, they‘re desperate not to die alone. I‘m not saying that your new wife was a slut, but I have seen a lot of former sluts trying to pretend to be different. "I was a fool back then. I‘m different now." No, honey, you‘re looking for a meal ticket because you were a whoring single mother." And there‘s more of these women around these days.


odd, i insist on dying alone.

 

ever wonder why those slutty single mothers are looking for affection and meals?


Topic: Where have all the real men gone?
Subject: Where have all the real men gone? - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:33:49 AM
Uncle Don wrote:

 

Would that same man know a "real woman" if she stood right in front of him?



since every time you drink you whine like a woman, go look in the mirror.

Topic: Just introducing myself
Subject: Just introducing myself - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:35:00 AM

love the name.


Topic: Not A Pretty LifeBut Stuck Cause Addicted To Parts
Subject: Not A Pretty LifeBut Stuck Cause Addicted To Parts - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:40:51 AM
shelbrooks wrote:
 I need to survive a few weeks im going down so fast but within 3 weeks I can move with my daughter.Shes 14 months clean no dope no alcohol no mean men gots to love her


it sounds to me like you are powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable.

perhaps it is not that they don‘t like him because of his color. they do like him because he is an evil abusive son-of-a-bitch. and those come in all colors.

get out. move away.

and if you are not gonna take sobriety seriously then don‘t go and live with your daughter.

if you have insurance perhaps you can get into a 28 day treatment program.

if not, find one that the state pays.


Topic: How do I do this?
Subject: How do I do this? - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:43:49 AM
wondering how you are princess

Topic: A long rant
Subject: A long rant - Posted: 2/2/2009 4:48:45 AM
Tinkey wrote:

 

In the meantime, just get all these jerkoffs away from you and your children for the time being.  Lopez is on drugs, they all play with guns, Rosie has a temper from hell and isn‘t afraid to use it, Gloria is the slut from hell and apparently is covering her ass so she won‘t get it kicked.  whatever.  You and your kids are the ones that need to get away from this craziness.

Much love to you.




Topic: Mr True Blue
Subject: Mr True Blue - Posted: 2/2/2009 6:54:13 AM
MrTrueBlue wrote:
But I gotta scratch my head as I just reread the old "nothing else I can do" thread.


scratch whatever you like, friends often do.

send the link when you are done


Topic: Where have all the real men gone?
Subject: Where have all the real men gone? - Posted: 2/2/2009 7:11:09 AM
Momof4kids wrote:

 
Stay tuned. Next up, single malt and a compost pile.
What goes in, must come out.


chicken soup. monitor.

Topic: Where have all the real men gone?
Subject: Where have all the real men gone? - Posted: 2/2/2009 7:12:38 AM

i‘m so sorry yas for the t/j. i forgot what section i was in.

i never was good with directions.

have you met our bubble yet?


Topic: Clitoral absess-nerve pain- surgery, HELP
Subject: Clitoral absess-nerve pain- surgery, HELP - Posted: 2/2/2009 7:16:51 AM

i am so sorry it took me so long to respond.

i just could  not for the life of  me think of one bit of advice to offer you...other then ice packs and advil.

are you any better? have the doctors figured it out yet?

 


Topic: Women always WIN
Subject: Women always WIN - Posted: 2/2/2009 7:18:45 AM

yes, the prize is: a trip around the world.

hows the weather there in phoenix?


Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 2/2/2009 7:36:47 AM

who can understand whores?

i don‘t know a ****ing thing about her. i don‘t think she has many thoughts so i don‘t think about what she thinks or what she does.

he may have moved his stinking act north but i still control their tune.

she ain‘t got so much as a toe in mine or my daughter‘s lives and until they light me up, she never will.

she wanted him. he wanted her. and i will see to it that‘s all they ever get of mine.

clearly, if i had to admit i thought about her and where the visitation arrangement or the child support leaves her, in all of this mess:

i‘d have to say, right where she was before they forced a d-day on my lucy, home alone and doing without, him or his money.

he is with his daughter most of the time, and his money is with his ex.

and they say i‘m the one that got left?

please, i wish he would leave.

leave off  saying: " still lor, its hard for me to look away when you are in your slip".

"its hard not to look at your body".

 "even all the times i‘ve seen it" and "even tho i‘m with the whore now".

hell, he spends hours talking to me on the phone. he probabley gets ready just hearing my voice.

then he goes home and we both stick to the whore. again.

 

 


Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 2/2/2009 7:41:59 AM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:
sunny fl wrote:
lorrie wrote:
hey sunny!! how about an update, i need to bake your cake and i want to have it ready on time.


No update.  dickhead is working out of town and I haven‘t been able to talk to him!  Which is a blessing and a curse.

I talked to my lawyer and she said he can‘t stall forever.

I believe the wh*re is pressuring him to get married.  She is doing everything she can to keep us fighting,  Her last plan backfired in her ugly face!!

She called somebody and told them she was me,  they record all calls,  they told me I could press charges on her for doing it.  I think I like making that wh*re sweat!!  It was a business call.

I may need that little bit of leaverage with the STBX  so we will wait and see!!

 



I was thinking the same thing.  There is a reason why he is postponing the divorce.  Now I have a really wicked idea:

Call the whore who likes to start lies.  Tell her that your STBX told you that he wants to work on your marriage together one more time.  That is why he is postponing the divorce.  He‘s already pissed, so what‘s the difference?

She will go balistic and will truly never trust him, because his actions are saying that he still wants to be married.  He will want a divorce immediately to prove the story wrong.  It is a wicked fun idea!



are you saying the BW‘s can manipulate the OW.

they would not be right. its not christian.


Topic: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!!
Subject: I am married to the biggest asshole in the world!!! - Posted: 2/2/2009 3:50:49 PM
shally wrote:
I‘d share some ideas with you but I‘m a nun so I can‘t. ~sniff~

But I could pm them to you if you promise to delete really quickly! So God doesn‘t see them. He‘s not signed in, I looked.


not just any nun, THE mother superior of all the nuns.

Topic: Classic Excuses for Cheating
Subject: Classic Excuses for Cheating - Posted: 2/3/2009 4:09:58 AM
Drew J wrote:


 Loser. Maybe he‘ll actually go to jail. If Karma is a bitch, maybe in prison, he‘ll be one too.



Topic: 12 Years Later - In the Garbage!
Subject: 12 Years Later - In the Garbage! - Posted: 2/3/2009 7:49:46 AM
mews0516 wrote:

Wow, your letter is an inspiration.  It has been 11 months since my H confessed to 10 years of prostitutes and affairs.  I still feel so dumb for not recognizing the signs!  At this point we are together.  We are trying to work things out.  I am 50 and we have 2 kids--18 and 14.  The kids know some of what he did.  He was never around in their life.  They both all along had told me that they hated him.  I always stuck up for him and tried to make them realize that as their dad, they should love him.  Maybe all along I was trying to tell myself that too.  For the first time with our marriage counselor, I admited that I hated him and wanted him dead for a long time.  Now, however, he is a changed man.  He is no longer the mean and angry person he was for so long.  He spends time with me and he spends time with his kids.  But it is so hard at times.  I am so hurt.  I have never been in any situation that has been as painful as this.  I have lost both of my parents and I am an only child.  So he is my family.  He has said he knew he was hurting me, but he continued and he has no reason why.  That‘s so hard to understand how he could turn to something so cruel. 

I, too, have the boxes of evidence and the journals and all the books read.  It is so hopeful to hear that there is a "someday" that I will feel able to put them with the garbage.  Thank you for your message of hope!

 



it takes two years. either way, stay or go, it will not affect the fact that in two years almost all of what you describe will have faded.

 

 


Topic: Living proof that good things CAN happen!!
Subject: Living proof that good things CAN happen!! - Posted: 2/3/2009 8:02:56 AM
akagiggles36 wrote:

WOW...It has been a long time huh?

Well....I‘m MARRIED!!!  I‘ve been so busy with getting the wedding together and everything that I haven‘t had much of a chance to check in here.

Other than getting married, my next big adventure is getting us moved to FLORIDA!!!  Sean (my husband) accepted an offer he couldn‘t refuse and I was able to get a job transfer so come next monday we‘re moving to FLORIDA!!!

Here are the pictures of the wedding:

Pass code is:  20080802

 http://www.photographybyfouche.com/Weddings/570872

 



you look beautiful and mr. giggles ain‘t bad either.

how‘s married life? are you both working full time? are you learning to cook and clip coupons with the rest of us?

gas is back up over 2.00 again down here and sugar is l.00 a pound, which for me is l.00 a day

did you move to florida?

 

 


Topic: he doesnt want sex anymore
Subject: he doesnt want sex anymore - Posted: 2/3/2009 8:15:31 AM
passenger79 wrote:
thank you,i really appreciate everything you said.i mentioned to him that if it doesnt get better in a while/and i ll do my best not to even mention anything in that direction/ that we need to get help.dont think he ll agree to it cause according to him im overreacting and he doesnt see anything wrong??the way its going it will be completely without it,so far it was on and off only when i initate it and im sick of feeling guilty for wanting it.i can find it elsewhere easy but i dont wanna cheat on him,guess im just hoping it will change.its just getting hard to cope with..


okay, just let him know that you love him, that you will do whatever it takes to get the spark back.

tell him gently that if he is not going to participate in seeking a "cure" and working on the "cure" then it is a deal breaker for you.

tell him that you will only put up with a lack of "persuing a cure" for so long, after that you would have to "separate" and you are going to live elsewhere. don‘t say "leave". say separate.

start with calling the doctor and both of you go together.

don‘t go in with him, but as he comes out, step into the room with both he and his doctor and ask for any results they want to share.

remind your husband that there are two people in life that one must never ever lie to, your doctor and your lawyer.

follow whatever treatment the doctor recomends, including a prescription for depression and some viagra/cialis, or g-string and pasties. just follow the treatment.

if he fails to become your husband again, separate.

if he sees you will separate with an eye towards divorce, leaving you both free to date, he might just change.

he‘s got to want to. he‘s got to see how important this is to you, the woman he loves.

don‘t let too much time go by, for everyone‘s sake.


Topic: Web cam sex and chat is that cheating?
Subject: Web cam sex and chat is that cheating? - Posted: 2/3/2009 8:20:19 AM
Tinkey wrote:

 

Like I said, this place has been a lifesaver for me, and I know, many others.  You are my lifelines.



ditto

 

did you ever find out what was in p.b.?

i know what she found, our pandora, but what did you find?


Topic: Childern living in abuse
Subject: Childern living in abuse - Posted: 2/3/2009 8:31:02 AM
so who is going to define the word "abuse".

Topic: Is his verbal abuse a sign of cheating?
Subject: Is his verbal abuse a sign of cheating? - Posted: 2/3/2009 8:37:09 AM

verbal abuse starts as a lack of respect.

i can‘t tell you if he is doing actual cheating yet, but he‘s making dates right in front of you, his sex life is the least of your worries.

whether he is cheating or not, he has checked out and you should do the same.

its over. been over. he‘s gone.

leave first. at the least change the locks. there is no law he can live at the house till the divorce.


Topic: Husbands demands
Subject: Husbands demands - Posted: 2/3/2009 8:40:45 AM

cut bait it is.

what‘s taking you so long? you have a job. you know he can‘t get off with out demeaning you and controling you.

 


Topic: He‘s here!
Subject: He‘s here! - Posted: 2/3/2009 2:14:45 PM

 


Topic: he doesnt want sex anymore
Subject: he doesnt want sex anymore - Posted: 2/3/2009 2:21:40 PM
passenger79 wrote:

well once i ve seen hes been on porn site after nite out but other than that i havent seen any evidence of cheating.

 

 



keep an eye on the computer.

Topic: Childern living in abuse
Subject: Childern living in abuse - Posted: 2/3/2009 4:14:14 PM

 

 

abuse

Noun
1. prolonged ill-treatment of or violence towards someone
2. insulting comments
3. improper use
 
[abusing, abused]
1. to take advantage of dishonestly
2. to ill-treat violently
3. to speak insultingly or cruelly

 

mistreatment - the practice of treating (someone or something) badly
child abuse - the physical or emotional or sexual mistreatment of children
child neglect - failure of caretakers to provide adequate emotional and physical care for a child
persecution - the act of persecuting (especially on the basis of race or religion)
cruelty, inhuman treatment - a cruel act; a deliberate infliction of pain and suffering

Topic: if this were a guy... what should they have done?
Subject: if this were a guy... what should they have done? - Posted: 2/4/2009 3:30:23 AM
oldwiz wrote:

 

So, Ladies, how many of you just happen to have a sword lying around in your bedroom?



rott and a gold machette. a wedding gift.


Topic: Living proof that good things CAN happen!!
Subject: Living proof that good things CAN happen!! - Posted: 2/4/2009 1:35:50 PM
akagiggles36 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
akagiggles36 wrote:

WOW...It has been a long time huh?

Well....I‘m MARRIED!!!  I‘ve been so busy with getting the wedding together and everything that I haven‘t had much of a chance to check in here.

Other than getting married, my next big adventure is getting us moved to FLORIDA!!!  Sean (my husband) accepted an offer he couldn‘t refuse and I was able to get a job transfer so come next monday we‘re moving to FLORIDA!!!

Here are the pictures of the wedding:

Pass code is:  20080802

 http://www.photographybyfouche.com/Weddings/570872

 



you look beautiful and mr. giggles ain‘t bad either.

how‘s married life? are you both working full time? are you learning to cook and clip coupons with the rest of us?

gas is back up over 2.00 again down here and sugar is l.00 a pound, which for me is l.00 a day

did you move to florida?

 

 



LORRIE!!!

Life in FL is WONDERFUL!!!  The weather is just BONUS!!  Sean and I are doing great!  Actually, yesterday was our "6 month anniversary".  WOW that went fast!!  There has been some issues but that comes with the territory of putting 2 people together along with kids and animals.   The best part is that he and I work them out together!!

Both of us are working and our schedules really help us save sooo much $$!!  Back in MD I was paying $350 every 2 weeks for daycare, down here I now pay $60 every 2 weeks!!  Hubby takes little one to school in the am and then she attends the extended day after school ($30 a week).  My son is now in middle school and hubby drops him off at the bus stop in the morning and by the time he‘s out of school, I‘m home!  So no need for care for him!

Now for the best news of all....I SOLD MY HOUSE!!!  Miracle I know and such a relief for us!!  Now we‘ll be able to concentrate on finding that perfect house for US!!

As for the cooking and clipping coupons...My hubby does most of that...ahhh He‘s soo perfect!! heheheh  Actually, we go grocery shopping together, we cook together, clean up together, etc.  It‘s really nice when you have someone to rely on and he‘s actually there!!

So how are things with you Chickie?



not nearly as good as things are for you.

i‘m so glad i got to watch it all.

bubble cropper is back. she‘s getting her degree soon.

she;s only gonna charge me half price to shrink my head.

smoochies


Topic: Getting Rid of ‘The Evidence‘
Subject: Getting Rid of ‘The Evidence‘ - Posted: 2/5/2009 4:27:19 AM
old crone wrote:
I was just reading some responses to a post I wrote about finally throwing out all the evidence I had collected when I found out my husband had been cheating. I am curious how many of you still have that box of receipts, phone records, etc. stashed away? Have you simply forgotten about it or do you occasionally spend some time going threw it? If you have disposed of it, was it cememoniously or just out with the trash?
Edited to add: And whatt exactly is in that stash?


i have the important stuff. IRS, satisfaction of liens. stuff like that.

i tried to give his mothers wedding album(she is remarried after being a widow) to the newest bride in the family and the woman had a fit. i am no longer in their family altho i have the only girl. what‘s up with that?

i had a small wedding and i took out all the pictures and threw them away. i saved maybe three and gave them to lucy.

i offered her my wedding rings and she said, no thanks mom, those rings are jinxed. but my engagement ring is a "honker" and i expect, being my daughter, she will want the diamond some day.

little by little you clean out the closet.

after all, you are gonna need the room for you new life.

 

 


Topic: Questions for my anniversary
Subject: Questions for my anniversary - Posted: 2/5/2009 6:24:26 AM
so, did you give  him the cooking lessons or what?

Topic: Is his verbal abuse a sign of cheating?
Subject: Is his verbal abuse a sign of cheating? - Posted: 2/7/2009 1:41:10 AM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:
lorrie wrote:

verbal abuse starts as a lack of respect.

i can‘t tell you if he is doing actual cheating yet, but he‘s making dates right in front of you, his sex life is the least of your worries.

whether he is cheating or not, he has checked out and you should do the same.

its over. been over. he‘s gone.

leave first. at the least change the locks. there is no law he can live at the house till the divorce.



Hey Lorrie,

Usually I think your advice is spot on.  I know that it is today as well.  I just hate it.  I hate the fact that he stayed married to me while not even being in

I am so freaking depressed that all I can do is cry.  Why lie to me and treat me the way he did for so long?  Why start taking it out on my kids as well?

Okay, I know that I‘ll never know the answers why.  It just hurts like hell.  I am depressed. 

He is out of the house.  He threatened to beat up my son.  My son is 14 and feeling big enough to stand up to him and tell him to quit calling me names.  I had to do something.  I was afraid that he was either going to hurt my son, or I was going to get hurt protecting him.  We have an order of protection.

Nothing that I can say or do will change how my husband feels about me or treats me.  When I have asked him in the past he just brings up things he doesn‘t like about me and gets angry if I bring up the way he talks to me or my sons.

Thinking that he checked out a long time ago really hurts.  It sends me bawling like a baby.  I really wanted the dream.  A husband who loved me, who wanted to be happy with his family.

Four years ago I found an email he had sent to some woman.  In it he said how much he missed her and would she call him at work, because his wife was really jealous.

I was so upset.  I had been begging him for dates, to do lunch etc.  I had just had our baby girl 2 weeks before when I found this email.

In this last week where he was constantly yelling at me and telling me every vile hurtful thing he could imagine he told me that the reason he never did ask me out to lunch for the last 4 years was to punish me.

HE PUNISHED ME FOR 4 YEARS?  Because I got upset that he had asked someone else to lunch?  That makes me angry.  It also makes sense as to why I never truly forgave him.  He was still trying to punish me for my own feelings.

All these feelings keep flooding back.  All the memories.  I can‘t stop them and I can‘t stop crying.

I hate him for treating me this way.

I have already filled out the paperwork for the divorce.  I am waiting for my attorney to file it.

My husband threatened to divorce me at least a dozen times during our marriage.  He if finally going to get just what he asked for.



get away from him and stay away.

the 14 year old doesn‘t even have to do visitation if he doesn‘t want to.

remember, an order of protection is a piece of paper, similiar to the ones we use on the toilet.

strong locks and an alarm system.

think of this as war.

he has annilated you as a woman and a mother with a newborn.

don‘t let him annilate you financially. get what you need to finish raising the children.

i promise, once you realize how lucky you are, you are gonna relax and enjoy the peace and freedom you will have, without him.

 

 


Topic: divorce and grieving
Subject: divorce and grieving - Posted: 2/8/2009 2:08:11 AM

situation normal.

you can‘t have sex, you are married. keep wearing your rings.

do not put anymore money in any account with his name on it.

start a new account and pay the mortgage.

 


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/9/2009 10:17:30 AM

every time i load the forum, i get redirected to lycos or the white pages.

 


Topic: Childern living in abuse
Subject: Childern living in abuse - Posted: 2/9/2009 10:24:20 AM
i‘m no longer frightened by the prospect of dementia.

Topic: Childern living in abuse
Subject: Childern living in abuse - Posted: 2/9/2009 8:21:39 PM
ToucheBaby wrote:
bubblecropper wrote:
supermom21664 wrote:
TheGiGiBaby! wrote:
supermom21664 wrote:

Hi Gigi! I was not abused as a child but I did post a story in DeeDee‘s thread down in the basment about how two children can live in the same household and 1 be abused and the other not. These forms of abuse happen more frequently than we hear about.

I am truly happy that you are in a better place now. However,(You saw that coming i bet)IMO for you to move past the abuse that you endured as a child I feel that you should confront your abuser.To often the abuser hides what they did and no one ever really knows.



Hi Supermom!  You dont seem to understand.  I have tried discussing this with my mother.  She will have no part of it.  She gets quite upset and it looks like she will have a heart attack right on the spot.....for even suggesting I had the nerve to say such a thing.

Which is a bit mind blowing.......the abuse was so obvious.  I swear...you could watch her kill a person and argue that person is just sleeping.  She would become indignant YOU suggested she killed someone.

Nobody is friggin home in her head!  LOL!

I pity her....Actually....I feel nothing.  Ok...vague pity......LOL  Some people end up with "lemon" cars.  I ended up with a lemon mother.LOL!

Honestly.....with her level of denial.  There is nothing that can be resolved.  Im 100% comfortable with that.  She isnt.  That in itself is very telling.

She wishes for me to jump in the river of denial with her.  That will never happen.  I already swam to shore without a liferaft.  She certainly didnt offer me one....she was the one trying to drown me.

What you are hearing from my sister are blatant lies.  We have discussed our childhood many times.  However,ON HERE.....Shes twisting and sugarcoating everything and leaving A LOT out.

I have no desire to correct everything shes lying about.  For one...it would take too long.  LOL! Some of her posts are so far off base...its frightening to consider how "she got there."  The other.....regardless...Im still interested in how shes rationalizing this away in her mind.  Alarming as it is.....its still interesting to watch her.  Why stop her?

I can see very clearly.....nothing will stop her anyway...shes in that deep. :(

 

 

 



Very interesting Gigi! To me anger indicates that the abuse did happen and mommy just does not want to deal with it. This is common for someone that is/has been abused themselves. Since you have tried to talk to your mom about it then you have attempted to adress it. She on the other hand does not want it brought up.

I am glad that you worked on you and overcame the abuse.

Now, How about your daughter? Are things getting any better? Have you spoiled that baby yet???? Answers woman answers!



Touche...her reaction sounds very similar to my mothers...extreme anger (I agree with shally, that this is probably an indication that she knows damn well what she did was wrong) And, I thought my mother was going to have a heart attack too...but, for some reason, I didn‘t back down..she wanted me to say OK, fair enough, you don‘t remember, but I very calmly and gently even...stood my ground.

I was also sure to tell her I wasn‘t angry with her now, that I had dealt with it, and that I knew she didn‘t know what she was doing at the time...then I pointed out a niece of mine who is a teenager now, and she‘s the image of me....I asked her to imagine my niece‘s mother doing such a thing....something clicked after that, its like as if she saw me as an adult and couldn‘t get the picture into her head of just how young and vulnerable I actually was....she suddenly just broke down into tears...it seemed to be a huge release for her

she admitted it and just kept hugging and kissing me, it was very emotional and I believe it was actually more beneficial for her than it was for me...I‘d already gone through my therapy, I‘d cried and hated...so as I said it was a huge release...but it needed us both to be in the right place...and maybe your mum‘s not in that place right now...your sister certainly isn‘t. But...keep the faith.



I have no doubt she knows.  The thing is......there comes a time where you have to detach from it all.  Otherwise,it becomes unhealthy.  In order to do that you have to give up hope.  ~Hope is the last thing to go before reality sets in.~

Its not any different than cutting an ex out of your life.  Difference being...its a parent.  It takes alot to get to that point....Ive exhausted all avenues at any other resoultion.  It takes two.  Ive never had any respect or love for her.  It was useless.

It was time to detach........one of the best decisions of my life.  I no longer wonder,hope or am I sad.

Im free.............

 

I love hearing endings like yours!  :)  Hearing yours helps remind me the world is normal.  :)



i never realized that you both use alot of dot dot dots. did you know?

Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/9/2009 8:38:11 PM
evesdrop wrote:
shally wrote:
I‘m not answering any questions concerning that thread on the board. If you have a question for me, pm me.

The mods saw fit to remove the thread and I agreed with their decision to remove it, so I respectfully refuse to discuss it any further.

Not being rude to you eves but enough is enough.


Shally,

I rarely PM anyone. I think that if I have something to say, then I will either ask them here ( I have nothing to hide ), or I call them. I also don‘t want to be made to feel I am being ordered to do anything.

Did the mods see fit to remove that thread or did you request them to do so??

I will say you did come across as being rude, but I am not mad. I hope this doesn‘t come across as rude either...

Who is to say when enough is enough?? Are you the thread police?? I believe the term "the basement" or "agree to disagree" should speak for itself. I remember when I first came here (over 2 years ago)....I would go read there and think "HOLY SHIT"...I‘m NEVER going to post in that section.....hahahaha...I toughened up!! If I remember correctly you were one of the ones that were "down there" and upstairs CONSTANTLY bashing TOUCHE. When I asked you about this not long ago your answer was....we talked in chat one night. Hmmmmm....I don‘t get it. "Bottom feeder"..."sitting on top of your mountain of judgement"...those were just a few of the things that came out of your mouth. Now you‘re telling me all it takes is one night in chat and all is lovey dovey?? I may not agree with where that thread was going, but...it is the basement. That is what it is for. No one has to even click that forum if they don‘t want to see what is happening there. As my mom used to say...if you can‘t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

No offense meant...I am just the type of person to call a spade a spade.



no offense taken.

Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/9/2009 8:45:45 PM
evesdrop wrote:
shally wrote:
I‘m not answering any questions concerning that thread on the board. If you have a question for me, pm me.

The mods saw fit to remove the thread and I agreed with their decision to remove it, so I respectfully refuse to discuss it any further.

Not being rude to you eves but enough is enough.


Shally,

I rarely PM anyone. I think that if I have something to say, then I will either ask them here ( I have nothing to hide ), or I call them. I also don‘t want to be made to feel I am being ordered to do anything.

Did the mods see fit to remove that thread or did you request them to do so??

I will say you did come across as being rude, but I am not mad. I hope this doesn‘t come across as rude either...

Who is to say when enough is enough?? Are you the thread police?? I believe the term "the basement" or "agree to disagree" should speak for itself. I remember when I first came here (over 2 years ago)....I would go read there and think "HOLY SHIT"...I‘m NEVER going to post in that section.....hahahaha...I toughened up!! If I remember correctly you were one of the ones that were "down there" and upstairs CONSTANTLY bashing TOUCHE. When I asked you about this not long ago your answer was....we talked in chat one night. Hmmmmm....I don‘t get it. "Bottom feeder"..."sitting on top of your mountain of judgement"...those were just a few of the things that came out of your mouth. Now you‘re telling me all it takes is one night in chat and all is lovey dovey?? I may not agree with where that thread was going, but...it is the basement. That is what it is for. No one has to even click that forum if they don‘t want to see what is happening there. As my mom used to say...if you can‘t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

No offense meant...I am just the type of person to call a spade a spade.



in the past the mod would delet unsavory posts, posts by trolls and banned posters.

NOT ENTIRE THREADS.

the rules regarding the basement are clear.

in the future i am gonna email the mods every time a thread down there gets to more then 30 posts and request IT NOT BE DELETED.

one person should  not decide for everyone what we can and can not read.

 

 


Topic: The DeeDee...Touche Saga
Subject: The DeeDee...Touche Saga - Posted: 2/9/2009 9:31:05 PM
legion1177 wrote:

1. You are subjected to constant criticism, and you are constantly berated

3.
Deliberately starting arguments and be in constant conflict with others.
4.
Denying that certain events occurred or that certain things were said. confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, "I never said that," "I don‘t know what you‘re talking about," etc. You know differently.
5.
Refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the "silent treatment."
6. Minimizing.
Minimizing is a less extreme form of denial. When minimizing, the abuser may not deny that a particular event occurred, but they question the recipient‘s emotional experience or reaction to an event. Statements such as "You‘re too sensitive," "You‘re exaggerating," or "You‘re blowing this out of proportion" all suggest that the recipient‘s emotions and perceptions are faulty and not be trusted.
7.
Drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts.


10.
Blowing your flaws out of proportion and making fun of you in front of others.




this is what db does to deedee. imo.

Topic: The DeeDee...Touche Saga
Subject: The DeeDee...Touche Saga - Posted: 2/9/2009 9:32:22 PM
ToucheBaby wrote:


I certainly hope everyone noticed I didnt air any of hers.

If there are any of you who cannot see she was attacking me............I truly feel sorry for you. 

 

 



who said the witch of the west called child services on deedee.

 


Topic: The DeeDee...Touche Saga
Subject: The DeeDee...Touche Saga - Posted: 2/10/2009 4:08:24 AM

the db family saga is not that different from any other family i know.

except for the broken nose and the location of the baby.

if she would just admit to some of her problems. just explain why she sent the photo to mr. v. over the internet.

she won‘t.

she can‘t admit to anger, loss, betrayal.

that would make her human.

what kind of a person thinks of a camera to take a picture of a first trimester miscarriage, scans it in to her hard drive and emails to the father?

i have my own opinion of what kind of person and what her motives were.

but...a. its not my business and b. i am trying to empatsize with her pain.

first she becomes pregnant by a man she loves enough to forgo birth control with.

then it dawns on her she‘s been lied to. he is attempting to trap her(her words). then he doesn‘t come to her aid during or after the miscarrage and refuses to pay another hospital bill.

all of that would make even a sane person go wonky with anger and rage.

nope...not db. she has healed, she feels sorry for him. she is superior to him and everyone else she knows, here or IRL.

there have been several moments during the sybil sisters family saga where i thought, finally, finally she is gonna admit she was angry, hurt, mis=used. and not the know it all, tell it on the mountain, attention seeking, i‘m healed phony she pretends to be.

nope.

time after time these last weeks she could have taken an oppurtunity to examine her consious and her actions. starting with rhianna.

no.

she can look at deedee‘s life, she can convince everyone she is somehow superior to deedee, but what she can not ever do is admit to anyone, let alone herself...she is no better then anyone else.

and you can say what you like about dd, taking sides and dd‘s struggles with her husband, her pills, her disability or her husbands drinking, but oddly, every single person including db‘s own daughter is speaking to deedee. everyone including all deedee‘s children and all but db‘s son is in deedee‘s life.

what does that tell you?

don‘t answer that i don‘t care to play twister.

it tells me that if you do not do excatly what db tells you, feel how she tells you and play up to her every waking hour, she cuts you off.

she will say it is because she can‘t make her abused inner child heard or because her mother prefers deedee.

ad nauseum. ad obfuscation.


Topic: The DeeDee...Touche Saga
Subject: The DeeDee...Touche Saga - Posted: 2/10/2009 4:49:58 AM
Delightful wrote:

 

I would be horrified if my sister did that to me! 

 You don‘t do that to anyone, especially family.

 

 



i find this odd, and i will tell you why.

every single hurtful painful murdering emotional anilation i have had to come to terms with....came from a family member. not to mention my husband.

do you really think that anyone outside your blood kin would put up with it? anyone besides your family can not only get close enough but has perfect recall of every failure of yours. yet oddly, not theirs.

anyone not related to each other would haul ass day one.

and i can give you a recent example.

here is the one sentence email i rec.d from my youngest sister, a woman in her forties, i raised and scraficed for like she was my own child. starting when she was three...

lorrie  she wrote...

....you killed our mother you ****.

the actions and language two of my sisters have used towards me, including calling lucy, then 12, a whore, have left me with no other course of action but NO CONTACT.

i do not wish them ill will, i do not hate them. i must protect myself from their critique of my actions during the last years of our mothers life.

and your post begs the question: who else in our lives are we almost madated by god to forgive? if not your sister, then whom?

i suggest to deedee, db and their mother: family therapy.


Topic: The DeeDee...Touche Saga
Subject: The DeeDee...Touche Saga - Posted: 2/10/2009 5:26:48 AM
bubblecropper wrote
tula1969 wrote:

Eves

I think it stems from childhood. JMHO

I think all babies are born as empty slates. How we are brought up and what we are subject to shapes our understanding of the world around us. Socialises us and is meant to put us in good stead for our adulthoods. We learn behaviours and things about the world around us from our parents during our childhood experiences.

We take most of our self identity and worth from our parents and life experiences.

I could be wrong but that is just what I have learnt. Educationally and spiritually.

I dont think the majority of us are ever subject to the perfect upbringing. Far from it.

What I do believe is that some of us come to a stage in our lives where we feel the need to question the very essence of our roots. When the SHIT continues to hit the fan irreguardless of all our efforts, then something must be wrong.

When after countless dysfunctional relationships and situations the only common denominator that remains is US, ourself, we surely have to begin from scratch and question what about us is wrong?? Nine times out of ten it will be the messages we recieved as a child.

Some of us our lucky, we see something is a miss. We go seek the help and support to help us lead the best lives we can. Sadly for most of us it comes too late in life (says she here)

Some of us are not so fortunate. We settle for all we have ever known, tolerating an existence instead of a true life.

Now I feel like I‘ve been on my soap box, sure you still want to adopt me??



Tula...my sentiments exactly!

And also, I believe DD and TB both need to do some healing...by the sounds of it though DD has a lot more to do...she is still in the denial phase, very very much so...I found her behaviour on that thread extremely bizarre and almost childlike...as a therapist I was extremely curious.

However, I still think TB has a lot of anger inside her too...I do hope that both of you can some day get through this and come out loving each other.

Its not surprising that you are both unhealthy considering the background you cam from, so please don‘t consider that as a criticism...hell, I still have some healing to do myself...we all do believe it or not! We will never be perfect any of us...but if our issues are causing such inner turmoil and such family conflict then its time to get help!



you are going to go very far in your career as an understanding healer.

xoxo


Topic: let go
Subject: let go - Posted: 2/10/2009 6:11:51 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr-XlnZalWQ

 

my crush asked my bff at work out to dinner, to be his valentine. she called to tell me.

 she said she called the man she is dating, my brother in law, i set them up, to tell him: "another boy wants me for his valentine and i was wondering if i will be your valentine". he replies: "oh, absolutely, i was just getting ready to ask you".

for the life of me, i can not figure out which one hurts more. the crush for the deliberate attempt or the bff for telling.

 she had to know, she just told the story of her valentines bonanza in a matter of fact tone. like its nothing.

i really should have answered the call to the stage. maybe in my next life i can win that oscar.


Topic: he doesnt want sex anymore
Subject: he doesnt want sex anymore - Posted: 2/10/2009 6:14:50 AM
passenger79 wrote:
i ve seen some people are using keylogger,not sure should i do it for piece of mind.on the other hand not sure if i wanna know.if thats the case never saw it coming,he swears hed never do anything like that and im not reason for this.just getting frustrated now,feel helpless cant talk bout it,cant do anything to change.


perhaps you should change your name from passenger to pilot.

Topic: from a distance
Subject: from a distance - Posted: 2/10/2009 6:37:32 AM

http://www.imeem.com/people/ajO8C5/music/_O-VKMlJ/james_taylor_i_will/?rel=1

in case you don‘t know, you are allowed to love him...from a distance is always best tho.


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/10/2009 8:25:42 AM
shally wrote:
Mornin‘ girls.

Tech Support, NO commercials! No re-directs!

Yippeee!


lucky you.

Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/10/2009 8:27:43 AM
legion1177 wrote:
whether or not the member‘s requests for the removal of the thread were received doesn‘t matter. what does matter is that the mods apparently agreed that the thread had no place on this forum. Isn‘t that the bottom line? 


yes, good job throwing out the baby with the bathwater as we say down here.

there were some good posts in there and im sorry to see them go.

i do agree the posts were getting off topic and people with "no dog" in the fight kept giving their opinions and taking sides.

i don‘t repect one of the sisters and i never will. its MY BUSINESS.

and no, i cannot agree that the thread has no place on this fourm. the place it belonged was where it was. start to finish.

keep out newbies. keep out if you can not take the heat.

try to remember that it don‘t concern us if people want to thrash it out online.

you might not beleive this but there are threads i do not post to, for my own reasons. i don‘t go around telling people to shut up about their issues in their own threads, just cuz i don‘t want to hear it.

well not often anyway.

i tell them to stfu in threads where i do want to join the discussion and not be attacked for taking sides.

agree or not. that‘s the place to do it.

 


Topic: Lonely
Subject: Lonely - Posted: 2/10/2009 8:38:13 AM
MsLisaS200 wrote:
I also need some advice. I,ve been divorced for almost 8 months. I‘m no where near ready to even think about dating. How do I get past the feeling of being alone? Honestly I think that has the worst problem I‘ve had. I feel like I lost my companion....my friend. I guess I did. I welcome any advice at all. Thank you.


               Ms Lisa


when you are alone, it is your duty to be in good company.

that said, don‘t get "caught out" with nothing to do but brood.

find a show you like and watch it faithfully. go and buy dvd‘s of tv series you have always wanted to see, but missed. or pick a favorite actor and one by one watch their complete body of movies.

a favorite author?

i do needle point, i do beading, i read what i can see.

decide to learn to cook or knit, plan things a few days ahead and go and do them.

there is the ballet, the record store or like me, collecting every color dish detergent they make.

change your hair, your make-up, you wardrobe and for god‘s sake your underwear.

treat your self, nourish yourself.

be careful with the "transition" crush is my last advice at this stage of your journey.

good luck.


Topic: Whats cooking???
Subject: Whats cooking??? - Posted: 2/10/2009 8:40:52 AM

of mange-tout

english please


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/10/2009 12:33:08 PM
legion1177 wrote:
shally wrote:
http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Bitchy-Pills-Magnet-C11750032.jpeg





i don‘t need bitchy pills...I have a toddler and my own set of parents in the same house with me..


i had no idea. you have my sincere smypathies.

hope i spelled that right.

and yes, re-directs with sound.


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/10/2009 12:35:35 PM
sunny fl wrote:
lorrie wrote:
legion1177 wrote:
whether or not the member‘s requests for the removal of the thread were received doesn‘t matter. what does matter is that the mods apparently agreed that the thread had no place on this forum. Isn‘t that the bottom line? 


yes, good job throwing out the baby with the bathwater as we say down here.

there were some good posts in there and im sorry to see them go.

i do agree the posts were getting off topic and people with "no dog" in the fight kept giving their opinions and taking sides.

i don‘t repect one of the sisters and i never will. its MY BUSINESS.

and no, i cannot agree that the thread has no place on this fourm. the place it belonged was where it was. start to finish.

keep out newbies. keep out if you can not take the heat.

try to remember that it don‘t concern us if people want to thrash it out online.

you might not beleive this but there are threads i do not post to, for my own reasons. i don‘t go around telling people to shut up about their issues in their own threads, just cuz i don‘t want to hear it.

well not often anyway.

i tell them to stfu in threads where i do want to join the discussion and not be attacked for taking sides.

agree or not. that‘s the place to do it.

 



Why does it matter if newbies  post?

They have an opinion on Abuse  and it should be respected.



you‘re right. i meant re-cycled trolls with one post that reach their 5 limit a day and make new names and accounts over and over.

we may be a disfunctional  family here, but we are a family and we don‘t need no strangers, trolls, ect. coming over here to grind their own axes.

xoxo


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/10/2009 12:36:59 PM
legion1177 wrote:
shally wrote:
The re-directs are driving me mad!

I spoke too soon this morning! Damn


apparently someone thinks I need a new car....I just got sent to a car buying site....this is getting old....Can we please get someone in the IT department of this site who knows how to fix it? Either no one can figure it out, in which case they need to hire someone who can, they don‘t care or they‘re making money off the re-directs. Which is it tech?


(Yes...I‘m bitchy today. Deal with it.)



Topic: let go
Subject: let go - Posted: 2/10/2009 5:43:07 PM
sunny fl wrote:
lorrie wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr-XlnZalWQ

 

my crush asked my bff at work out to dinner, to be his valentine. she called to tell me.

 she said she called the man she is dating, my brother in law, i set them up, to tell him: "another boy wants me for his valentine and i was wondering if i will be your valentine". he replies: "oh, absolutely, i was just getting ready to ask you".

for the life of me, i can not figure out which one hurts more. the crush for the deliberate attempt or the bff for telling.

 she had to know, she just told the story of her valentines bonanza in a matter of fact tone. like its nothing.

i really should have answered the call to the stage. maybe in my next life i can win that oscar.



Lorrie that is a heart call,  you would have been mad if she didn‘t tell you too.  Maybe it was just the way she told you?

I am sorry that it hurt you!

 



well i beleive he did it to make me jealous because i won‘t talk to him...again.

but i still wonder.

i have known her for over 10 years and she is no better then she should be.

she got fired since this happened. and he texted her....."even tho we have never hung out together, im sorry about your job".

he knows i love her. he‘s always known she one of the few people i protect, defend and tell the truth too.

i think he did it on purpose. does anyone else find it interesting that as of last week, he isn‘t seeing anyone else and he didn‘t have a date v-day?


Topic: this thing is hindering me
Subject: this thing is hindering me - Posted: 2/10/2009 6:01:18 PM
mapuya wrote:

hello there thanks for all the comfort i have the thing but i have talents too. thats why i dont have the gutys to show the world but anyway i wished im not into medication already it consumed all of my time when i was  ateen and it really affected my life. thabks anyway may god bless you all



do you think that you are an addict or an alcoholic?

i don‘t understand. are you on bipolar or depression meds?


Topic: nice guys
Subject: nice guys - Posted: 2/10/2009 6:06:53 PM

i‘ve been thinking about this, true blue.

i have to say that being a "bad boy" seems to always involve the use of drugs and or alcohol.

in the absense of the use of drugs or alcohol, there seems to be an element of "risk-taking" with bad boys. like race car driving, riding motorcycles, ski diving, gambling and womanizing.

which makes men that do not over- indulge in drugs, drink, high risk sports or sex, seem kind of predictable.

does that make sense?

 


Topic: let go
Subject: let go - Posted: 2/11/2009 3:41:34 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:

Now wait a minute.  Your bff tells you this like it‘s no big deal?  She has to know about you and the crush.  She didn‘t come running to you with the OMG you‘ll never guess what just happened and I have to tell you or I‘ll explode??? 

I‘m gonna say this because I care about you...........

       Lorrie, find a man who is worthy of you.

If you aren‘t looking for a mate at this time, then take it for what it is with this crush man.  He is a crush and that is it.

IMO:  Your bff needs to take a course in loyality!

 

 

 



no i am not seeing him anymore. not since thanksgiving.

she won‘t be working there anymore.

 no, she just said it, like measles said, as a way to force my bil‘s hand. that‘s the way the story came out.

i have been having nice convo‘s with military man at skating and he has taken to calling me.

he wants to take me to the movies.


Topic: from a distance
Subject: from a distance - Posted: 2/11/2009 4:36:24 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxRS_GyBbM

Topic: Whats cooking???
Subject: Whats cooking??? - Posted: 2/11/2009 6:28:16 AM
legion1177 wrote:
shally wrote:
Sunny, she cooked BAMBI?


could have been worse....could have been bambi with a side of thumper and flower..
(Yes, I know a guy who eats skunk on a regular basis...I‘m not sure why...)


we had a man come to the restaurant very early most mornings. on the weekends he would bring road kill on the hood of his car, for his favorite waitress.

when we asked him, why do you have raccoon on the hood of your car, he would say, to keep it warm for you.

needless to say, mgmt. put a stop to the "gifts" and the white coats towed him away not long after.

said the war messed him up. told me he was in the c.i.a. recently.

ever wonder why they always say the c.i.a. and not n.o.w. or ASPCA?


Topic: Whats cooking???
Subject: Whats cooking??? - Posted: 2/11/2009 6:29:34 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
lorrie wrote:

of mange-tout

english please



I think you call them sugar snap peas? basically its pea-pods!


i thought you were saying a fish with a skin condition.

mange

trout


Topic: let go
Subject: let go - Posted: 2/11/2009 10:49:07 AM
tula1969 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
BustyLaMoan wrote:

Now wait a minute.  Your bff tells you this like it‘s no big deal?  She has to know about you and the crush.  She didn‘t come running to you with the OMG you‘ll never guess what just happened and I have to tell you or I‘ll explode??? 

I‘m gonna say this because I care about you...........

       Lorrie, find a man who is worthy of you.

If you aren‘t looking for a mate at this time, then take it for what it is with this crush man.  He is a crush and that is it.

IMO:  Your bff needs to take a course in loyality!

 

 

 



no i am not seeing him anymore. not since thanksgiving.

she won‘t be working there anymore.

 no, she just said it, like measles said, as a way to force my bil‘s hand. that‘s the way the story came out.

i have been having nice convo‘s with military man at skating and he has taken to calling me.

he wants to take me to the movies.



Lor

Are you pleased he wants to take you to the movies?

Do you enjoy his company at skating?



truthfully, this is not the first man to ask me out. i have to say...no one besides the crush seems worth the effort.....yet.

p.s. jello over here is geletin over there.

its frozen, not put on toast.


Topic: nice guys
Subject: nice guys - Posted: 2/11/2009 12:01:33 PM
MrTrueBlue wrote:
lorrie wrote:

i‘ve been thinking about this, true blue.

i have to say that being a "bad boy" seems to always involve the use of drugs and or alcohol.

in the absense of the use of drugs or alcohol, there seems to be an element of "risk-taking" with bad boys. like race car driving, riding motorcycles, ski diving, gambling and womanizing.

which makes men that do not over- indulge in drugs, drink, high risk sports or sex, seem kind of predictable.

does that make sense?

 



I never thought a bad boy had to be using drugs or massive amounts of alcohol....but rather a guy that thinks his s##t doesn‘t stink and thinks he is god‘s gift to women and is cocky as hell.

So you pretty much confirmed my take on bad boys being risky, and that non-bad boys are predictable....hence it would seem that women settle for stable guys later on in life while problaby still wanting that thrill of a bad boy.

And I won‘t be settled for.  If I have to be single the rest of my life, so be it.  I like my freedom right now.



yes. i feel in order to qualify for the label "bad boy" there has to be an element of danger.

i think you are discribing a "player" or as we called them a "rake".  a man that trifles with womans‘s hearts. mostly using them in bed for awhile till they get bored and more on. they have to move on because either a. they knew all along she wasn‘t for them of b. they are affraid she will find out that underneath is a frightened misfit, afraid of "intimacy".

i wanted to share a line i heard on "law and order" and it stuck with me ....

...your soulmate is whoever you end up with when you run out of steam...


Topic: Well. I finally left
Subject: Well. I finally left - Posted: 2/11/2009 12:09:19 PM

because I didn‘t get as mad as I did all of the other times. Its so sad when I think about it right now. It really is. I cannot believe he did those things to me

 

zactly. i remember telling mine, too late, if you notice, i ain‘t cryin no more.

but i did. once for 16 days in a row.

its a long road back to yourself.

 enjoy the journey.


Topic: Well. I finally left
Subject: Well. I finally left - Posted: 2/11/2009 12:16:48 PM
anonymous09 wrote:

..so he couldnt say he was missing that! I also gave him much attention and affection but never felt the same attention or care in return. I still hurt and ...I was so distraught I actually got some punches in to his face....in defense he grabbed me and wouldnt let me go becuase he thought i was going to cause a scene with the woman who was in his room...I wasn‘t I just wanted to know if he told her all about him..and if she knew what ‘problems‘ he has so she can make her own educated choice to be mixed up with him.....he grabbed me and it hurt so I fought for him to let me go....felt good to punch him! My arm STILL hurt bad and its been a week! turns out he DID NOT tell her what he did in our marriage..he told her a lie!!!! SHE LEFT once she heard the truth....she climbed out his bedroom window. he didnt deny a thing I said and actually said (and she had to have heard him) that what he didnt tell her...I just did!

will this hurt end? I do not want to think about him or hurt over him anymore...but I just cant stop.....I loved him so much..and miss his touch and the times we were together were great and the sex. But he‘s nothing but a compulsive liar and cheat! i was always a happy go lucky person and now.....well...Im on antidepressants now becuase of him!

and cry still....i do not want to see him with anyone else..i want him to suffer now and not get the attention he so craves from woman....and he‘s a sex addict! he tells me that doesnt want a relationship with anyone else....will not get married again......all he‘ll do is meet "friends" or just talk, company and sex..thats all he‘s about! The woman he will prey one will be unsuspecting and think He‘s into them...he‘ll be using them.

I need help to get over him!!!! Big time



this man is a sick sick soul-less loser.

 he is dead inside.

 

you have a soul. be grateful you can feel. be grateful you can love.

just not him and not anymore.

 

let him persue his own fate, which i predict will be a long hospital stay for the treatment of open oozing sex sores all over his privates if he keeps humping ho‘s  he just met.


Topic: Angry ,hurt and need to vent and heal
Subject: Angry ,hurt and need to vent and heal - Posted: 2/11/2009 12:30:30 PM
hellokitty27 wrote:

I have been married for 10 1/2 years and have 1 young child. I questioned him about was he cheating---sleeping with cell phone on him. Pictures of women I did not know in his digital camera. Always the say answer....no,I am here aren‘t I.

He got hurt on the job 12/9,doing a lot of damage to his elbow. Turned out he was going to need to be operated on to repair the damage. I show up at the hospital on 12/10 to be with him for the operation. Only to find another woman there. He acted as if it was no big deal. i walked out of the room 3 times not believing I was really seeing what i saw. I ended up asking her to get out. Asked him what is going on...only to get the reply of: " I am only concerned about getting better right now". He even called the nurse to have his cell phone locked up while he was getting his operation. Of course that did not happen. He wanted me to hold his hand, which I did . But after the operation was over and I had talked to the doctor. i headed up to his room and got a hold of his cell phone. From the voice mails I could tell he had a whole another life with this woman. And realationships with at least 4 other women he had picked up off the internet. I left a note stating I had his phone and that he was a lair. I went home an packed up his clothes and put them out on the porch. As he would be getting out of the hospital the next day. He did not call just picked his things up off the porch.  as of this date he has yet to talk to me. I have never felt pain like this before. He is the only man i‘ve been with.

Any words of wisdom?



hell sweetie, you are still young. and i promise you in one year you are gonna be so much better off. you WILL feel better, you will get thru this.

right now you need a doctor and a good lawyer.

and the best thing right now is NOT TO TALK TO HIM.

don‘t tell him squat. nothing. just say you are hurt and you need time.

eventially you will have to set up some kind of child visitation. keep the whore out of this. it ain‘t her business and it any never gonna be. if they threaten tell them the law clearly states that a child as young as 9 can chose to participate in visitation and whom they wish to live with. its illegal for the parent to conduct visitation in the co-habitating home before the divorce. which means while he is married to you he can‘t take your child over to the "love nest.

you can meet him with your child for two hours on such and such a day and tell him to come alone or else. and the cells will be shut off.

this is the fun part cuz whores go nuts if they can‘t be in the middle of everything. they are jealous as hell, stinking cheaters, drives them nuts if YOUR husband goes off line for even 15 mins. two hours might push her over the edge so be prepared.

go now, right now, and find every single piece of paper showing both your names, IRS, credit cards, deeds to the house, titles to the car, roth ira, 401. find everything and for now turn you attention away from the stinking **** he has done to you to the more important task of how you are gonna prevent those two WHORES from taking a single red cent out of your child future.

its war baby. you just lost the first round. he‘s gone and good riddance.

make sure that all he gets is his freedom, not one dollar more.

 


Topic: The Signs are there, but how do i catch him?
Subject: The Signs are there, but how do i catch him? - Posted: 2/11/2009 12:42:32 PM
flavour wrote:
i have been married for 4 years and have 2 kids. a girl age 4 and a boy 18 months. 2 years ago i came across a number on my husbands cell phone statement and when calling her she kept hanging up the phone. after confronting him, he said nothing happened and  they just chatted. a few months later i got hold of her again and she said that he was like a boyfriend to her for like 2-3 months!!! i didnt have any proof and neither did she, and it was basically his word against hers. 3 nights ago i saw a sms on my husbands phone which said "im home now, go mxit" mxit is a chat forum on your cellphone. i saved the number so that i could check his statement. the next day while he was asleep i checked his phone and saw picture messages they sent to each other. she sent a picture of her breasts and he a picture of his ‘tool‘ and one of himself. if i confront him, he will just lie. do i call her and ask her what‘s going on and hope that she will help me catch him? what do i do?


can you take the kids and go and visit you mother? take most of the money with you sweetie. the good car too.

then watch what he does. if the prospect of losing all he holds dear don‘t slow his ass down then file a legal separation.

this will include child support of course.

never ever speak to the whore. its just too sad. they are pathetic soulless creatures looking to latch on to a man that can fix them. what‘s worse, in my book, they have no manners at all.


Topic: Whats cooking???
Subject: Whats cooking??? - Posted: 2/11/2009 4:31:11 PM
sunny hot legs wrote:
shally wrote:
The hat and me are coming!

Miss sunny hot legs in her umbrella hat!

So there!

spug your mama is making nala for dinner.


Sweetie  I will bring your special  white coat  the one with the really long arms,  that way if you feel a little out of sorts  I don‘t have to worry about you!!



Topic: How to Heal Repressed Anger After Childhood Abuse
Subject: How to Heal Repressed Anger After Childhood Abuse - Posted: 2/12/2009 3:28:09 AM

What I didnt tell you.....

My sister came up to me and hit me open palmed on my nose!!  She called me a baby and started laughing at me.


Topic: I got the job!!!!
Subject: I got the job!!!! - Posted: 2/12/2009 4:42:58 AM

well hell then we will be neighbors. lucy and i live below the poverty line.

welcome to the neighborhood.

how do you feel about hamburger helper with out the hamburger?


Topic: How to Heal Repressed Anger After Childhood Abuse
Subject: How to Heal Repressed Anger After Childhood Abuse - Posted: 2/12/2009 4:48:33 AM

About my nose.......it was indeed broken.  I explained to you how in which it happened...we were playing ball in our front yard.  I was the pitcher ...my (250 LBS)cousin hit the ball hard and it hit me dead center on the nose.  Knocked me out....It was white lights...I went down.  I came too....everyone was asking if I was alright.  I was literally dazed and confused....I was trying to make my way to the porch.  As kids do.....they tried to say...Ohhh...you;re alright.  I was upset and said.....I think its broken!!!  I felt immense pressure.  It HURT!  I was literally dazed and  confused.

 

why not seek ammends from the person that hit the ball into your nose? deedee made her ammends to you, in public, already.

if you want to back date all your grievences and lay them at deedee‘s door i beleive you will have to start with the cousin that hit the ball into your face.


Topic: How to Heal Repressed Anger After Childhood Abuse
Subject: How to Heal Repressed Anger After Childhood Abuse - Posted: 2/12/2009 4:53:27 AM

i thinnk all ya‘alls had better take it to the basement.

the title of this thread is quite misleading as it says repressed anger from childhood abuse and i feel if you call it abuse there has to be an element of "diliberate" in the violence for you to call it abuse.

deedee did not break douche‘s nose. douche has said so quite plainly in this thread.

her father was there. her father was well aware of the broken nose and the insuing swelling and bruising.

her father and her mother were the adults that were mandated by god and law to render aid to douche bag. not deedee who by my reckoning was in about 7th or 8th grade and there for without a car, license or job.

 

 


Topic: How to heal from child abuse
Subject: How to heal from child abuse - Posted: 2/12/2009 6:12:36 AM
DeeDee5 wrote:


I found this article very interesting....but isn‘t it best that some things are just left in the past? 

I don‘t see how thinking about it or even acknowledging it could do anyone any good, what happened is over, why not just move on?   Get over it and forget about it.  That is really not so hard to do. 


if you bury things alive they wiggle around, smell, scare and haunt you.

best to look at painful, hurtful, horrid memories and deal with them.

then lay them in the grave. finally to rest in the past where they belong.

you can not hope to have peace if things from the grave come to your mind, unbidden.

 you can not slap a ghost.

unresloved anger and resentments rear their ugly heads in whole hosts of ways.

marrying an abuser because that is the kind of man you are comfy with. over eating is the number one way woman "stuff" their feelings and grow a protective layer around themselves to prevent others from "seeing" them.

drinking, drugging, acting out in sexual ways are just a few of the ways people try to cope. if you can‘t face it and deal with it, you can‘t let it go.


Topic: To my sis....
Subject: To my sis.... - Posted: 2/12/2009 6:21:56 AM

just ask her for a bill.

ask her to write out every f u c king thing you did to her, when you were a child yourself and see excatly what she thinks you owe her.

i have a sister, called coco. my dad adored her. she never got hit.

the burden of guilt she carries for the times i and nurse betty took the flack...i think i am better off.

i have no physical scars from anything my father did to me. and i have done intense threapy to forgive him for his verbal annilation.

he lies in peace, at last. a man tourtured by his own demons, is finally at rest.

 


Topic: we are all here douche bag
Subject: we are all here douche bag - Posted: 2/12/2009 6:29:00 AM

we are all here. we are ready to spend gobs and gobs of weeks and months of attention on you and all your memories.

all our attention is focused on you and your sister.

now that you finally have what you need so much...

lay it all out...

tell deedee every thing she did and what she owes you...

just get it all out. that way we don‘t have to re-name this entire website the douchebag drama.com


Topic: I feel good about myself
Subject: I feel good about myself - Posted: 2/12/2009 6:31:04 AM
Measle wrote:
Eves feels very good, I know she does.

She lets me feel her all the time.

My Roman hands and Russian fingers thank you.



what???

Topic: we are all here douche bag
Subject: we are all here douche bag - Posted: 2/12/2009 7:15:53 AM
i understand they got tired of it over at the ****house.com as well.

Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/12/2009 7:18:30 AM

i can only load ws from my email notices of new replies.

i get re-directed to yahoo most offen now and i can‘t even eat chinese.


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/12/2009 7:25:00 AM
ToucheBaby wrote:


Shally and I have since came to a better understanding...........

I dont see the problem........

Must I "explain" that one too?!  LOL



see, i am not buying this. shally has always been one smart woman.

so you must have told her some horrendous abuse story, such as incest or you have something on her such as her pms that were stolen.

i find it hard to beleive that shally, a true good hearted woman can not see you for what you are.

i accept that she cares for you, i see how much. what i cannot accept, for now, is her throwing away her first friends if they do not "beleive" the same that she does.

i miss you shally, i care for you, i just don‘t respect you anymore.

get well soon.

 


Topic: he doesnt want sex anymore
Subject: he doesnt want sex anymore - Posted: 2/12/2009 7:28:09 AM
timeout wrote:
passenger79 wrote:

i spoke to him again and he agreed that if it doesnt get better in few weeks we ll get professional help.does it always has to be cheating as a reason?

 



Good for you, you‘re doing the right thing.

As for does it mean he‘s having an affair, I wouldn‘t say its definite - he may just be stressed or under a lot of pressure.

Also, bear in mind that most people on here (including me) have been the victims of affairs, so as soon as behaviour like this is mentioned, it unsurprisingly starts alarm bells ringing.

To be honest, if he‘s agreed to have professional help with you involved, I think it‘s unlikely he‘s cheating.

Take care


i think its the begining of porno addiction.

which imo leads to cheating.

 


Topic: let go
Subject: let go - Posted: 2/12/2009 7:33:05 AM

my husband and i had are first date on valentines. we went to an AA dance with a live band on valentines.

it was a majical night. one i will never forget.

before that i have good memories of valentines with boyfriends. i just don‘t like the hookey forced feeling of it.

i fuss over friends, male or female, new and old friends on xmas and valentings. on thanksgiving i thank them for everything they have meant to me all year.

its a day to tell everyone you love them. i used to tell my mom and bring her flowers and cards.

i fuss over my daughter now and i am likely to kiss some old fat long married wrinkled man on saturday just because i can see everyone has a dream of love. in all its disguises.

its a day to show your love.


Topic: Tech Support...Moderator
Subject: Tech Support...Moderator - Posted: 2/12/2009 7:46:07 AM
legion1177 wrote:
Is there some reason DaOutskirtz is being targeted again?  I have yet to see anyone take a thread from here and re-post it there, and I‘m there everyday. Please, give it a rest. 


sunny already admitted she did it. with a post of dd‘s.

it was before the new rules anyway.


Topic: Tech Support...Moderator
Subject: Tech Support...Moderator - Posted: 2/12/2009 8:21:30 AM
sunny hot legs wrote:
legion1177 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
legion1177 wrote:
Is there some reason DaOutskirtz is being targeted again?  I have yet to see anyone take a thread from here and re-post it there, and I‘m there everyday. Please, give it a rest. 


sunny already admitted she did it. with a post of dd‘s.

it was before the new rules anyway.



one post does not a thread make....and if y‘all want to split hairs...why isn‘t anyone condemning PNG for doing the exact thing here with a thread from DO? Do the members of DO not have the same right to not have their threads jacked to another forum that we do here at WS?


Yea Legion,  png did bring the whole thread over her.

Maybe I should throw a fit!!

I had some post to egypt in that thread.  Imagine that,  this back stabbing BITCH was defending the women here!!



 

who‘s condemning sunni? you paying attention to png?

i am sorry she did that. i think it got deleted anyway.

 

personally, i will read what and where i like and copy whatever i want and the rules will not stop me.

if you are near the florida keys sunny hotlegs come by. i would love to meet you.


Topic: Tech Support...Moderator
Subject: Tech Support...Moderator - Posted: 2/12/2009 8:26:31 AM
sunny hot legs wrote:


 

Maybe I should throw a fit!!

 



good luck.

 she‘s been the bane of lmws for years. and i was told that in a pm from the source.

i just let her be. i try not to kick her due to what i precieve as her sexual disability.

pay no attention, deedee had it coming to her for talking out both sides of her mouth.

i‘m guessing that is what she did that made you want to take her words and serve them to her. cold.

 


Topic: Tech Support...Moderator
Subject: Tech Support...Moderator - Posted: 2/12/2009 8:37:42 AM
sunny hot legs wrote:
lorrie wrote:
sunny hot legs wrote:
legion1177 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
legion1177 wrote:
Is there some reason DaOutskirtz is being targeted again?  I have yet to see anyone take a thread from here and re-post it there, and I‘m there everyday. Please, give it a rest. 


sunny already admitted she did it. with a post of dd‘s.

it was before the new rules anyway.



one post does not a thread make....and if y‘all want to split hairs...why isn‘t anyone condemning PNG for doing the exact thing here with a thread from DO? Do the members of DO not have the same right to not have their threads jacked to another forum that we do here at WS?


Yea Legion,  png did bring the whole thread over her.

Maybe I should throw a fit!!

I had some post to egypt in that thread.  Imagine that,  this back stabbing BITCH was defending the women here!!



 

who‘s condemning sunni? you paying attention to png?

i am sorry she did that. i think it got deleted anyway.

 

personally, i will read what and where i like and copy whatever i want and the rules will not stop me.

if you are near the florida keys sunny hotlegs come by. i would love to meet you.



I wish I was in the Keys!!

How ever I am many hours from there.  I have never been there.  Me and the Ex always talked about driving down on the motorcycle.  well maybe him and the ho will enjoy that trip together!



is she shows up down here sunni, me and momo will kick her.

 


Topic: STBX now wants me back?
Subject: STBX now wants me back? - Posted: 2/12/2009 4:27:06 PM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:

 These were my husband‘s attorney‘s words verbatim.  He was writing my attorney.

"Second, he heard from family members that she contacted recently that she did not want to start the divorce. Is there any change in her plan re commencing the action? "

?? I haven‘t talked to any of his family members recently.  The last family member of his that I talked to was his Dad about a week ago. I told him that I was upset that my marriage was over.  I also told him that I was upset on all the things my STBX has said to me and done to me.

 This to me looks like he suddenly wants to change his mind.  This really pisses me off, because he has been the one threatening me with divorce since our first 7 months of marriage.  It is now 6 years later and he has told me, screamed at me that he wanted a divorce and for the last week we were together he treated me like complete ****.



dude, my friends and my lawyer told me the judge was gonna ask me if their was any hope for the marriage and to look em right and the eye and firmly state NO.

which i did. i cried alittle. but there was no hope for my marriage and there is no hope for yours.

you have to face it.

if you want to go over the list with him when he is done with one year twice weekly intense therapy, fine, you can remarry him some other time.

not now.

get it done.

rip off that bandaid in one tug.

it hurts, it stinks. but it would be a crime for you to beleive in false hope.

i don‘t know why i am talking to you so stridently. i guess i ****ing care what happens to you. go figure.


Topic: Surviving??
Subject: Surviving?? - Posted: 2/13/2009 3:17:09 AM
tired210 wrote:
I feel a little of each ( category) one every day, is that wrong?  I‘m never in just one category.  On good days I feel at peace , but I prepare myself for tommorrow because I know something bad will be coming. And I want the strength to make it through the day.  My children are the only reason I make it through.  Is that wrong?  I feel they are the only thing that makes me strong inside, if they werent with me I would die inside. I know I need to live for myself too, but sometimes I feel like there is nothing left. 


i felt the same way. my daughter kept me from jumping.

it will get better.

everything takes time. everything.

one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.

this is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.

 


Topic: STBX now wants me back?
Subject: STBX now wants me back? - Posted: 2/13/2009 4:42:11 PM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:

Thank you for your replies. I am not turning back.  I had a moment of weakness and then thought about how he had treated me, lied to me, yelled at me and tried to set me up.

What a loser he is!

Money is more than tight around here.  I am out of juice for the kids, have 2 gallons of milk left and I am just about broke.  I have got to figure out how I am going to keep up with the bills for the mean time.

Lorrie, just for you I did have a moment or two while he was yelling at me that I yelled right back. You will enjoy this:

He was screaming at me that I was such a bitch and it was all my fault that he wanted a divorce...and on and on and on..

I finally screamed back that I was the best bitch he had ever had and if he was such a smart guy he‘d be kissing my ass to keep me.  But sad to say that He was going to be MY Bitch from now on.  I actually said "you be my bitch baby!". 

 

 ahhh.....it felt soooo good.



i grew up on powdered milk. it used to be cheaper.

my sister used koolaid. what??

buy some vitamins and cut them in half. give one every OTHER day.

you are fighting for your freedom and the god given right to live as you wish and in peace.

now, did you find all the papers i told you to go and look for.=?

sometimes these ass holes take out "line of credit" and extra credit cards to finance their new lives.

remember what i said about visitation. offer to have him over your house while you stay in another room. offer to take them anywhere he will come, alone.

be prepared for a big display of "false bravado" when it comes to the kids, its a rare man, like my lucy‘s father, that keeps their visitation. they scream and holler and say all kinds of ****, but slowly, they drift away.

DO NOT, sorry for yelling, SAY ONE WORD TO ANYONE ABOUT YOUR LIFE AS A WOMAN.

and you will have a life as a woman again someday. SAY NOTHING.

if they get wind that you have someone to be with, they start squawking about visitation. make sure you get two nights off a week. just ask him to sit with the kids while you take a class...blah blah blah...then run over to your booty calls house

trust me, you life will do a 180 by xmas.


Topic: I‘m Fat
Subject: I‘m Fat - Posted: 2/13/2009 4:50:45 PM

well only you can decide if you are fat, and if so what you will do about it.

if you are being harassed at work i suggest you get online for your city/state and file a greivence. cuz honey YOU HAVE A CASE.

you could win some money off all those jerks. after that you could move far far away.

i don‘t even use deoderent. i use scented body lotion, secented bubbles and soap in the tub.

i use cologne and perfume and i re-apply it all day.

if you can swing it go and get a pedicure.

when you have your hair cut ask the stylist what you can do to be absolutley sure that you are looking and smelling your best.

THEN  FILE A LAWSUIT. "hostile work enviroment" comes to mind.


Topic: December 28th 1962
Subject: December 28th 1962 - Posted: 2/14/2009 1:42:41 AM

 

D-Day?


Topic: Daycare for kids
Subject: Daycare for kids - Posted: 2/14/2009 1:45:20 AM

every parent needs a break and if it were not for alcohol some of them would not even be parents.

that said, if its more then every 10 days or so i think its neglecting your family.


Topic: It‘s Friday the 13th
Subject: It‘s Friday the 13th - Posted: 2/14/2009 2:11:01 AM
supermom21664 wrote:
Momof4kids wrote:
Ok, I‘m fairly superstitious. Last year on Friday, June 13th my daughter nearly ripped her entire face off.

I‘m going to get my hair highlighted in half an hour. What are the odds that I‘ll be without hair at all?

Anyone else superstitious??


I am not feeling bad about today being Friday  13. I was just in Wal Mart laughing my ass off at the men milling around trying to decide what to buy their wives/girlfriends for Valentines day. They all had that deer in the head lights look!


last year i was in the supermarket and this man bought three bouquets of roses and cards.

i was behind him in the check out line and i said to him wow, lucky woman you love.

he said, one for my mother, one for my wife, one for her mother.


Topic: momo folded the laundry, at last
Subject: momo folded the laundry, at last - Posted: 2/14/2009 2:14:06 AM

momo folded her laundry...and stuffed it all in a suitcase.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ChADh1zt5I


Topic: I‘m Fat
Subject: I‘m Fat - Posted: 2/14/2009 2:23:47 AM
tired210 wrote:
I tried to do that at one job I had before I moved and the girl said she didn‘t do it and had no problem with me.  We had an investigation and it was her word against mine.  And it was dropped.  and after that she did it again.  I would have to get a lawyer and you know what I can‘t afford it right now.  I just put up with the insults because I feel like I don‘t have choice.  If I want to work I have to just ignore it.  I confronted my boss and told her if there was any accusations about me I had the right to get pulled into the office and defend myself.  I do defend myself, but you know I get blown off and they just keep doing it.  And its the same.  If the whole town is talking about you , you are dirt.  I met a lady at one place I worked at and she told me on a break , she said you know what I know you are good.  Because I went through the same thing twenty years ago.  My ex wanted to hurt me and wanted my kids and said everything immaginable about me .  She couldn‘t get hired anywhere, no one wanted her around.  She lives in Maine now, but hadto move pretty far away she had no money no friends and they called her and accused her of everything in the book.  People in towns sometimes stick together and push you.  I was in a group for abused women for a while and met another woman with two boys, she went through the ridicule for four years then gave up and gavethe kids to him.  They accused her and treated her like dirt.  He was very abusive.  I knew one that gave up and one that didn‘t.  Itsreal hard when your ganged up on.  Its real hard to deal with. I had one job where they wanted me to quite and I didn‘t get breaks, they treated me real bad , I finally did quit but not because of them I found a better job.  You have no idea how bad people can be. I had someone at my window at night telling me I was dirt, andmy ex was good and to kill myself.  I called the police and told them I had a guy hanging around my home, and said he was saying things about my exhusband.  I didn‘t tell them everything.  But it didn‘t matter because by the time they got there he was gone.  I had my ex thrown in jail once.  He violated his restraining orders numerous times, but when I called the police , of course he was gone by the time they got there and he had two friends lie and say he was with them.  Because of that I couldn‘t charge him and I was called a liar and no charges were made.  I moved herewere i‘m at now and I wish I did have one person to say theyknew I was good and to keep fighting no matter what. Its hard being alone.


keep a jounal of every single time they insult you and harass you.

if it is a national company or a chain, a lawyer will take on you case for a percentage of the settlement.

don‘t give up. those stinking liars only understand one thing....COURT.


Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/14/2009 12:00:03 PM

from medhelp.com

 

Like eating disorders this might be a control issue. It also might be a sign of oppositional defience disorder. I also agree that mostly with boys, that this issue in slightly older children is a sign of sexual abuse. Many parents don‘t want to consider something so horrific could happen to their child but with 1:3 girls and 1:5 boys being molested before they reach 16,it is something we must all consider as a possiblity

Topic: Daycare for kids
Subject: Daycare for kids - Posted: 2/14/2009 12:03:48 PM

The "kids" in the house have invited me on their Valentine‘s Day "date."  I said, "Wouldn‘t you rather go alone?"  (After all it‘s supposed to be romantic)  They said, "No!"  My daughter‘s boyfriend said, "We aren‘t going to have sex on the tables or anything!"  I felt so loved, LOL!

 

god bless them rhi.


Topic: momo folded the laundry, at last
Subject: momo folded the laundry, at last - Posted: 2/14/2009 12:05:06 PM
Momof4kids wrote:
You‘re supposed to FOLD it?

Dammit.




only on the way there.

whats to fold anyway? two bandaids and some butt floss should do it. unless you are going out for dinner, then change to a thong and flip flops.

 


Topic: The Merry Maid
Subject: The Merry Maid - Posted: 2/14/2009 3:11:46 PM
Momof4kids wrote:
Does she fold laundry and put it away?

She‘s hired.





Topic: I‘m new - have questions
Subject: I‘m new - have questions - Posted: 2/14/2009 3:49:04 PM

i don‘t think this is the place for you to do that.

 

maybe when you calm down a little and put it in perspective you might just want to move on.....leaving him in the dust.


Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/14/2009 4:06:40 PM
ToucheBaby wrote:
evesdrop wrote:

I need advice on a problem....

I have a friend that has a daughter that is a very controlling child. She also craves constant attention. From everybody ALL the time. Her and her husband  like to pack the kids up and go places quite frequently.....the problem......everytime they are just about ready to go SHE SHITS HER PANTS!!! My friend or her husband have to go back in the house and make sure she gets cleaned up before they can leave, but it is a constant distrubance......

Any advice???



Children dont tell you they‘re being sexually abused.  Sometimes they cant tell...so they act out instead.  Its very clear to me the child is deeply stressed about something to regress to such an uncomfortable action.

I would be more inclined to question the persons  motive for ridiculing such a child.

Clearly.....the child is screaming for help.  While knowing help isnt coming.

Sounds like the child is smarter than the parents...........

You cant deny the child at least let them KNOW what they thought...........!

I agree with Momo!  Creative child!



i must have missed the part where eves said they rediculed the child.

for most of us, sex abuse would not be the first thing to come to mind. the doctor would be the first thing.

the article i read says 1.3 girls act out in this way, due to sexual abuse, therefore i think  eves is asking about the other 2 girls.

craving attention to the point of tryinng to control everyone may be o.d.d.

maybe the kid‘s just a brat.

maybe the kid needs more fiber.

or a stool softer.

if a trip to the doctor reveals nothing out of order medically then, at my wits end, i would start yelling and point the brat to the washer and the shower.

i don‘t think i could handle it. i would be so embarassed for my daughter. imagine sitting in the car, knowing you kid took a dump just to get attention.

a creative child, suffering abuse might find a way to tell, no?

don‘t most people that suffer sexual abuse usually tell sooner or later?

if not as children then certainly by the time the leave home?

how long can, say a father, keep on messing with his kid once the kid gets old enough to drive, work, vote or move out?

sorry db, i don‘t see "clearly the child is screaming for help". yet.

but i find it interesting that you do. and so quickly.

 


Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/14/2009 4:25:05 PM

omg, there is actually a website called poop report!!!

and no, don‘t look.


Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/14/2009 4:36:54 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
ToucheBaby wrote:
evesdrop wrote:

I need advice on a problem....

I have a friend that has a daughter that is a very controlling child. She also craves constant attention. From everybody ALL the time. Her and her husband  like to pack the kids up and go places quite frequently.....the problem......everytime they are just about ready to go SHE SHITS HER PANTS!!! My friend or her husband have to go back in the house and make sure she gets cleaned up before they can leave, but it is a constant distrubance......

Any advice???



Children dont tell you they‘re being sexually abused.  Sometimes they cant tell...so they act out instead.  Its very clear to me the child is deeply stressed about something to regress to such an uncomfortable action.

I would be more inclined to question the persons  motive for ridiculing such a child.

Clearly.....the child is screaming for help.  While knowing help isnt coming.

Sounds like the child is smarter than the parents...........

You cant deny the child at least let them KNOW what she thought...........!

I agree with Momo!  Creative child!



How on earth does crapping your pants make you, I mean the child smarter than the parents?

What message is this sending to the parents???  Unless the parents are mind readers or read under wear how can they know what she is thinking??



i was wondering the same thing.

if the family is leaving for vaca to say a hotel, wouldn‘t the kid feel a little safer knowing that sharing a hotel room with the entire family would mean no access for the perp?

we split up, boys and girls on vaca. but when i was married there was not much chance any one could get near my daugher in a hotel room without me knowing.

would a perp really try to molest his own child while staying at a friends house or at the family home?

i don‘t know what to think.

sorry eves


Topic: Happy Valentine‘s Day!
Subject: Happy Valentine‘s Day! - Posted: 2/14/2009 4:42:35 PM

i  had no idea you had a dear friend. but stanger things have happened.

o, i thought you meant like a sister.

and dearie, at your age, i think its safer to say divorced, not single.


Topic: having a baby
Subject: having a baby - Posted: 2/14/2009 4:45:38 PM
tired210 wrote:
If I had the money, transportation and a place to go I would leave him.  I hate the things he says and I‘ve learnedto hate him over the last year.  He‘s says i‘mstupid and crazy too.  I never escaped from my third husband and this time I sit and dream of having my own home and having my kids and friends and being really happy.  Thinking in a couple of years they will be older and I can manage it more then I can leave.  I wish I never came here, but I had no choice after six years of moving around and working.  I lost my daycare and had to quit my job.  I couldn‘t find a childcare anywhere at 4:00 am .  I worked in a hospital before I moved down here.  I love my work also.  Every day I think about getting through the day.  And i‘m glad , he works evenings, because I see him less, he sleeps during the day.  The weekends someitmes I dread.  because he‘s home.  I didn‘t feel like that about him before.  Our relationshiop was completely different.  I shouldn‘t of told him what my last ex did.  because he started doing some of the same things.


this is your only life.

Topic: Adoption....what is your opinion??
Subject: Adoption....what is your opinion?? - Posted: 2/14/2009 5:02:07 PM
Rhiannon wrote:

I would never give a child of mine away, either.  Luckily, when I had children, I was in a good position to raise them. 

I am glad, though, that there are families who are able to adopt. 

I loved that movie "Juno."  Did you see it?



lucy loved that movie rhi!! i went and bought it so we could watch it together.

you gotta admit, they are not the typical teenagers in "trouble". and i wonder the message that movie sends to teens. lucy would just say: "mom, it‘s a MOVIE.

i don‘t know how a woman can part with her baby once its here.

 


Topic: Love to cook
Subject: Love to cook - Posted: 2/15/2009 1:26:05 AM

perhaps you can straticaly place baked goods on your supine body and wait for him to notice?


Topic: Talk about bad luck....
Subject: Talk about bad luck.... - Posted: 2/15/2009 1:35:41 AM
DeeDee5 wrote:
Valentines day might as well have been Friday the 13th for me....

I went out to eat today....and the waitress seated me at a table next to my DOCTOR.

How unlucky is that....my doctor has me on a diet....no red meat.....no white bread.....in fact, not anything white.

And there she was right next to me......at a buffet all you can eat bar......talk about bad luck....lol.

I have been doing good with my weight loss, in fact the last time she weighed me I had lost a total of 11 pounds, so the diet was working.....I thought for valentines day, I would go off my diet and eat one of those thick juicy steaks......and baked potatoes piled high with butter and sour cream.....WRONG.....I had salad....and frest fruit....even fresh pineapple....it was so crazy.   But I stayed on my diet.

Talk about bad luck......




everyone at work was going off their diet for v-day.

i stuck to mine, sugar, carbs, caffine and nicotine.

its for the best deedee, god put the doctor there to keep you on the straight and narrow. narrow waisted!!

did you know that you use alot of ............dotdotdots?


Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/15/2009 1:54:26 PM
Momof4kids wrote:
ToucheBaby wrote:

 

Its a very private matter and most healthy balanced women do not want to be precieved as a victim.

Simple as that.

Healthy individuals strive to be "normal".....they acheive that by refusing to be the victim............



I think there‘s 2 different cases being spoken about here-the first is a 7 year old child, the other is a sibling of someone else, that did the same thing-who is now 40.




yes momo.

 

and aside from db‘s convoluted dignosis of the parents. and png‘s speculation that the child **** herself because of a life or death situation, we are back to, taking the kid to the doctor.

if one in three girls are abused, then are we discussing what to do with the two that are not being abused and have not disclosed to anyone?

the family doctor is going to do his job by looking for physical causes. given a clean bill of health, we are at, oppositonal defiance disorder(O.D.D.) or attention seeking/need to control.

if the child only does this behavior during times when the family is focused on the needs of the entire family and not on the one member pathologically in need of attention, that doesn‘t make it abuse, sexual or otherwise.

as momo suggests, one of the family members will have to take the child to the toilet and wait for the rest of the family to call out that the car is ready to leave. the mother can hoist up the girls undies and place her in the car.

 

and i have to say that i am heartened by the fact that accourding to db, as long as i "strive to be normal by refusing to be a victim," i am considered "healthy".

in no disease or distrubance of mind or body can we be treated for our ills simply by "striving to be normal and refusing to be a victim".

 

 

 

 


Topic: Daycare for kids
Subject: Daycare for kids - Posted: 2/15/2009 3:23:53 PM
angel_eyezz wrote:
evesdrop wrote:

Would you think it appropriate to drop your kids at daycare ALL the time to be able to go out to party?? Would you consider it bordering on criminal to leave them there overnight with no notice to the caregivers??

Thoughts please....



well I guess its better then the freezer....lmaoooooo....


pm for you. pm for tula.

Topic: The Merry Maid
Subject: The Merry Maid - Posted: 2/15/2009 3:30:33 PM
DeeDee5 wrote:
Momof4kids wrote:
Does she fold laundry and put it away?

She‘s hired.




Just think.....after she is finished.....you could take some new pictures......



Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/15/2009 3:37:19 PM
DeeDee5 wrote:
Damn......All of a sudden I am feeling very lucky that none of my 5 sons sh*t or p*ssed their pants after being potty trained.

This thread makes me want to hold my nose....anyone got a clothspin.....


if i give you a clothes pin you have to promise to only use it for your lovely nose.

 


Topic: Happy Valentine‘s Day!
Subject: Happy Valentine‘s Day! - Posted: 2/15/2009 3:38:47 PM
pm for you measle and evesdrop.

Topic: we are all here douche bag
Subject: we are all here douche bag - Posted: 2/15/2009 3:40:09 PM
angel_eyezz wrote:
evesdrop wrote:
BustyLaMoan wrote:
DeeDee5 wrote:
lorrie....I get what you are saying to sis.

But I think this is something that should be handled by trained professionals.....not the internet.

It does not belong here.....it happened so many years ago...this is just wrong.


I agree.  Your sister has very serious issues going on.  She needs to get treatment.   


Boy you aint a kiddin‘.....serious FUCKING intense therapy...and IMMEDIATELY!! DO NOT PASS GO/ DO NOT COLLECT 200....straight to the NUT WARD with the padded walls. And I really hope they have a de-froster there at the facility!! That should be the first priority on their list. I have been told that the following medications work quite well....(excuse the spelling...LOL)...

Trazodone, Buspar, Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Lithium, Elavil, Seraquel, Zoloft, Effexor, Valium, Xanax, Haldol, Dalmane, Halcion, Restoril...etc.

Some of these are new and some of these are considered "old school"....maybe they could give her a little bit of each....because I think she needs the whole FUCKING LOT OF IT!!



Eves you forgot to mention a toliet incase she "poops" her pants....



remind me, never to ever, mess with you. daaammmnn.

pm for you busty.


Topic: TECH SUPPORT
Subject: TECH SUPPORT - Posted: 2/15/2009 3:48:21 PM
nikkie wrote:
Momof4kids wrote:
lorrie wrote:

i can only load ws from my email notices of new replies.

i get re-directed to yahoo most offen now and i can‘t even eat chinese.



Well, all I know is I just got my truck and it keeps sending me to a car ad.

I don;t want another car. why is it making me think I need another car????




It‘s a conspiracy.
They‘re trying to kick start the economy by enticing the ladies here to go on a spending spree.
Diamonds, cars - all expensive stuff....I‘m off to lock up and hide my piggy bank



Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/15/2009 5:33:12 PM

look, we are not even in the car. stop pooping on the thread. christ.

p.s. you forgot the lol‘s and the rolly clowns.

i sent you a pm momo.


Topic: Happy Valentine‘s Day!
Subject: Happy Valentine‘s Day! - Posted: 2/15/2009 5:52:47 PM
tula1969 wrote:

I am officially divorced and single!!

Resigned to never getting wed again but hopeful on the chappie front :)



its a peeve of mine tula. that‘s all.

if you are single, in my mind, it means never married, no children.

or you can be a single "parent‘‘.

i just think if you have been married and are not now married then you are divorced.

if you have children, esp. living in the house with you, you are not single.

that‘s all.

don‘t get me started on men that claim to be "separated".

pm for you.


Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/16/2009 1:22:01 AM
LittleIvy wrote:

Sorry , I have no insight on this, just curious, what have the parents done to find out why?, and did you say how old this girl is?

 

Oh and, I didn‘t send anyone a pm, I suppose that is why I haven‘t received any. 

 

Enough rollies, tee hee, for you Lorrie??



pm for ivy.


Topic: Talk about bad luck....
Subject: Talk about bad luck.... - Posted: 2/16/2009 1:46:55 AM
DeeDee5 wrote:
lorrie wrote:

 

did you know that you use alot of ............dotdotdots?



Yes, lorrie, I realize I use a lot of dots.  I use them when I am thinking about what to write....kind of like "pausing"  ...lol....or when I run sentences together. 

When I put dots at the end of the sentence.....it probably means I am still thinking, just not writing...lol.


well then just let me know when you connect the dots.

Topic: Adoption....what is your opinion??
Subject: Adoption....what is your opinion?? - Posted: 2/16/2009 7:42:30 AM

no i don‘t beleive in adoption as a form of birth control,eves. nor abortion for that matter.

regardless, a family got a baby to cherish.

 


Topic: we are all here douche bag
Subject: we are all here douche bag - Posted: 2/16/2009 7:57:45 AM
Uncle Don wrote:

Come on Lorrie, face it.  It has been many years since you have been "All Here."

Why do you have the need to pick on others?



for many years i have been here.

the rest you have not been here because you were banned from here for being a bi-polor herpes ridden cuckold asshole.

 


Topic: Happy Valentine‘s Day!
Subject: Happy Valentine‘s Day! - Posted: 2/16/2009 10:43:58 AM

pm for bubble

 


Topic: bubblecropper
Subject: bubblecropper - Posted: 2/16/2009 10:45:44 AM
missydelite wrote:
lorrie wrote:

i got a note from dag. he and his are fine.

xoxxoo

 



You heard from Dag? That‘s great, i‘ve been meaning to email him myself but i just haven‘t gotten around to it. Man do i miss his advice and wisdom.


bring him back with you.

 


Topic: I‘m Fat
Subject: I‘m Fat - Posted: 2/16/2009 10:58:47 AM
stay strong.

Topic: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!!
Subject: BAD PROBLEM....NEED HELP!! - Posted: 2/16/2009 5:46:04 PM
LittleIvy wrote:
evesdrop wrote:
LittleIvy wrote:
evesdrop wrote:
LittleIvy wrote:

Sorry , I have no insight on this, just curious, what have the parents done to find out why?, and did you say how old this girl is?

 

Oh and, I didn‘t send anyone a pm, I suppose that is why I haven‘t received any. 

 

Enough rollies, tee hee, for you Lorrie??



Ivy.....the second child I am talking about is now in her mid-late 40‘s....this is what she did as a child. Again, as I said before her sibling is my friend, and we have been discussing this stuff because the sibling in question (who may or may not still be SHITTING HER PANTIES/THONG) is now an adult....very controlling, very manipulative, probably psychotic...etc. My friend is wondering if the actions of her sibling today are because this control/center of attention SHIT started when she was young for NO apparent reason. It only occured when the family was ready to leave or arrived at the location they chose for a fun day....ie; going to grammy and grampy‘s....the state park...etc.

Thoughts....



Ok, I am sorry, I am always slow , but I catch up eventually, I suppose anyone‘s guess is as good as the next, I would also say that this sounds like control issues, but it is hard to say, there is so little detail to go on, like how many siblings there are and, I would totally agree with measle that should happen once, and if it continues to happen then yeh counseling would be needed, it doesn‘t look like a medical issue since it seems to happen at will. I am curious to know what the parents to this now adult did when this happened. That would be interesting to know. Also what about the first child?, is she still a child, how have her parents reacted, and have they sought medical attention for the child?


The first child I am not worried about as they have him at the doctor as we speak to see just what is what...I think he is ADD or possibly has aspergers syndrome (a form of mild autism)....it is my friends adult sibling I am more worried about....that child is now a grown adult and putting their entire family through a living hell....not to mention their own kids....

The family consisted of 2 girls and two boys......



Ok, I am really at a loss here then, unless your friends sister admits to her issues then there is little to be done.

The only thing I can think is no contact, it is sad, but sometimes you must let go, I only say this because I have not had any contact with my own sister in about 6 years, she wanted a relationship with us, but she had actually voiced that she wanted us to be after her constantly to make that work, and she would not answer calls or return messages, I have 4 kids of my own, there was just so much energy I could spend on that relationship, I HAD to let go, it breaks my heart to this day, but one must decide how their life will be healthier. Now I know these are two issues entirely, but if she is making her siblings lives impossible, and does nothing to change, I think it‘s best to distance themselves from her.

 

I know I am probably not much help, but for some reason felt compelled to put my two cents worth in.



ivy i had no idea that you haven‘t spoken to your sister for six years. im sorry to hear it.

i have been no contact with two of mine, now one year.

i didn‘t expect it would go past xmas, yet here we are.

i miss them the way they were...hey was that a song...??

 


Topic: EXTORTION AND BOOBS!!!
Subject: EXTORTION AND BOOBS!!! - Posted: 2/16/2009 5:50:55 PM
Lepodira wrote:
He owes her nothing.


i agree. how can he even be sure its his baby??

logic would say that a pregnancy that early should have little or no impact on a woman‘s breasts or weight.

pm eves.


Topic: This site and members???
Subject: This site and members??? - Posted: 2/17/2009 3:50:53 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:

Has anyone heard from Yasmia??????

Hope she is okay!!

 



i was wondering the same thing.

pm for yas.


Topic: Young & Restless actress Barbara Niven endorses WomanSavers.com
Subject: Young & Restless actress Barbara Niven endorses WomanSavers.com - Posted: 2/17/2009 3:52:49 AM

im so happy for you and all your success. you deserve it.

i would however like a chat room please.

may we have an update on the progress of the chat room.

we don‘t need anything fancy. we just needa yikyak.


Topic: December 28th 1962
Subject: December 28th 1962 - Posted: 2/17/2009 4:07:54 AM
nikkie wrote:
I googled the date and all I could find was
"U.N. troops occupies Elizabethstad Katanga"....where on earth is Elizabethstad Katanga?


its in the congo, between tanzania and zimbabwi.

Topic: we are all here douche bag
Subject: we are all here douche bag - Posted: 2/17/2009 4:13:00 AM
chaos wrote:
Momof4kids wrote:
DeeDee5 wrote:
Hmmm.....I am getting the feeling from this thread and another thread that many of you know each other from "way back"  ???

Anyone care to give a run down from who is who....I‘m curious as I am hearing names of members who were here before me.

Maybe its better I don‘t know???



I am Momo. Momof4 (fill in the blank if it‘s cute) I like dancing, movies and quiet walks on the beach.

Wait-is that what you were asking?


Don has abused my friends from way back-he sent us all a story he copied from penthouse forum to our pm boxes, which was rather horrifying, then proceeded to be a pompous ass-if you like wine-he has 75 year old single malt that he‘s sipping...if you like burgers, he‘s eating filet and lobster.
If you have a garden, he‘s growing enough to supply a supermarket.

Get the idea? When you don‘t pay attention to him, he‘s got some crazy venereal disease, and his wife is dying.

He‘s an attention hoor and gets his feelings hurt and runs and talks about "Mean" (Meandnotyou) and my laundry, and Lorrie-the fact that she quit drinking eons ago irks him because he‘s a raging alcoholic, and must be jealous of her self control.

To boil it down-he‘s just a sad, simple ASShole.

You must know him from DO, he‘s the one jumping on any bandwagon that will have him.


Don‘t hold back now. Tell us how you really feel


i feel pretty good. except my arm is still broken and i regret all the fiber i ate last night...

oops gotta run


Topic: miss him. hate her. jealous of them.
Subject: miss him. hate her. jealous of them. - Posted: 2/17/2009 4:36:22 AM
overandout wrote:
 they are traveling now, constantly, burning up our retirement. he still has no job. I‘m frightened to pieces for my future. and, oddly, in this particular state, if your marriage is less than 10 years, he owes no support of any type. I‘m 60. what to do, what to do...


in my state it is, marriage of ten years or more, and / OR the wife is over 50.

if you have been married more then 40 quarters(10 years) you get his social security as well.

you gotta put a stop to his sending. can you get a lawyer to help you freeze his assests with an injuction?


Topic: We the undersigned
Subject: We the undersigned - Posted: 2/17/2009 4:44:19 AM

....have waited long enough for this website to open the chat room.

it‘s our god given right as woman to yik yak and chit chat..

we demand a chat room of some kind as we were promised more then four months ago.

 

lorrie


Topic: True Friends!
Subject: True Friends! - Posted: 2/17/2009 4:46:30 AM
evesdrop wrote:
sunny hot legs wrote:

They are few and far between.

Just remember what that bitch does to one  she will do to another!

Anger managment may be needed in this case!

Watch your Back girls!!!



You are so right Sunny!!! What BITCH are you talking about?? What was done??



she‘s talking about a woman who would **** on a friend and then crow about it.

and i wish to god it was behind our backs, or behind closed doors. its not.


Topic: Daycare for kids
Subject: Daycare for kids - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:41:53 AM
Rhiannon wrote:

When I was a teenager, I used to  If I was lucky, one or two might come back (usually with a guy) to give me $5.00 so that the "guy" could drive me home at 2:00 AM.

 

 



never, ever let the man drive the sitter home.

my bff , her mom was the babysitter the father drove home, lots of times.

 she was 16 when she gave birth to his baby.

he left his wife, they married and had another child, a boy. i‘m told they lived just up the block from his first family.

all the kids in the neighborhood had the same red hair.


Topic: Daycare for kids
Subject: Daycare for kids - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:45:08 AM
evesdrop wrote:
sunny hot legs wrote:
evesdrop wrote:


Which Dad???


The children would have a father or fathers depending on the situation!

I see no point in blaming everything on the mom! 



.... could not ask the father‘s and just wanted to selfishly throw her kids on someone to be able to go out. Go figure.....

Pm angel...



maybe he was in prison?


Topic: This site and members???
Subject: This site and members??? - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:48:46 AM
starlett68 wrote:

I‘m here tula, been here since 05 and have no plans of leaving!  

 



then you need to get an avatar there sweetie, you‘ve been naked, to us, for over a week.

 


Topic: This site and members???
Subject: This site and members??? - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:54:03 AM

tula, i could fill a vat of tears with all the people i miss on here and all the ways they made their exits.

i prefer to think that sometimes woman heal, and they move on.

sometimes they go off to repeat their same behavior, only to come back here, older.

i know busty and momo have healed, i see them less and less. life has a way of keeping your attention when you live it to the fullest.

 


Topic: EXTORTION AND BOOBS!!!
Subject: EXTORTION AND BOOBS!!! - Posted: 2/17/2009 7:11:08 AM
Rhiannon wrote:

Eves, where are you meeting these people?  LOL!  Strange customers in that beauty shop is all I gotta say...

Extortion is disgusting.  Yes, it feels awful when a relationship ends, and if a man got her pregnant, he should be there, and he should take responsibility.  But demanding money for a "boob job" is going waaaay out of the box.  Who did this woman admit this to?  I can‘t picture anyone saying out loud, "I‘m gonna make him pay for my boob job!"

It sounds to me like she‘s a gold digger (to demand $5,000).  He must have had money for her to think she could ask for that much, and that also tells me that the money might have been what she was attracted to in the first place.  Chances are, if he was a garage mechanic, or worked at Pizza Hut, she wouldn‘t have asked for such a large sum.  She was probably hoping for marriage and was pissed that he wouldn‘t marry her.  Wow...

She also sounds like a sore loser - the relationship ended, she felt rejected and abandoned, and she couldn‘t handle that.  She wanted the last word and she wanted him to pay - and to keep paying.  She sounds like a stalker who won‘t let go. 

I can‘t imagine how lonely, sad, and unhappy a woman like this must be.  I‘m trying hard to understand.



those guys that work at subway and live at home make pretty good money.

and he saved quite a bit by not getting himself fixed.


Topic: EXTORTION AND BOOBS!!!
Subject: EXTORTION AND BOOBS!!! - Posted: 2/17/2009 8:04:30 AM
sunny hot legs wrote:




So are you also the scum that posted Lorrie and Busty info on that site??
After seein what you are capable of  It wouldn‘t surprise me at all. 


whoa.

 


Topic: My New Friend Bill
Subject: My New Friend Bill - Posted: 2/17/2009 8:25:03 AM
DeeDee5 wrote:


WOW......You really are clueless.


its only tacky for db to **** all over these boards, to lie to everyone, everywhere, about everything.

and it‘s just as tacky to vomit all over the general section, eves!

enough. stop with the inuendos and take it to the basement.


Topic: We the undersigned
Subject: We the undersigned - Posted: 2/17/2009 8:50:15 AM

maybe no chat room is the reason for all the members tula can‘t find, no chat room for 5 months??

...attica...attica...attica...


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:12:24 AM
shally wrote:


T, if you‘re reading this, I hope you know that none of that crap matters. It‘s past. Period.

If anyone is ashamed of nothing in their past then cast the first stone.


in fact, that‘s the entire point, thank you shally.

we the **** on, have had enough of posting our private, confounding, horrendous pain, and having her tell us how to heal.

 how if we just do as she has done, lmfao, "strive to be normal", omg, "we can be healthy".

i for one am grateful that my instints about her lying facade are proven.

the space up on the mountain, looking down and judging every one from god on high above, is vacant.

oh a happy day....


Topic: Nk‘s idea
Subject: Nk‘s idea - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:28:07 AM

ditto sunny, pandora helped me out of a tight spot once.

dreamer was always there in the night, when i would sing.

katie kaboom, bloggy.

my first friend here, who really talked me off the ledge, daguru.

i met momo, early on. her pain, so like mine.

dbuck, kitty, ladyjayne.

and my wife. tho she ain‘t much for recovery, she‘s a hoot.

i never came here to heal, i came here to cry and later to laugh. to give to those behind me on the stinking road to divorce.

to have fun with like minded woman that just wanted to get thru the night, having a few laughs, at our own expense.

oye, some of the pictures and the parties.


Topic: Nk‘s idea
Subject: Nk‘s idea - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:50:06 AM
nikkie wrote:
I wouldn‘t know where to begin with my thanks to the women here. 

The very first person who came to my rescue here was Cali.  She spent hours on end in chat with me talking to me, patiently listening to my story, watching me flip back and forth from seemingly sane to incoherent.  I call her my guardian angel.

Shortly after meeting Cali I met Shally; she always seemed to know when I needed to talk and when I needed to laugh.  So often her words would move me to tears.  I‘ve lost track of the number of occasions I sat at my keyboard crying while I typed.  Sometimes tears of pain and sometimes tears of laughter.

Around that same time I also met HD, ME, and Lorrie.  Each of them in their own way helped me on my road to healing.  Making me laugh, watching out for me when the trolls came a calling, knowing I‘d have no clue how to handle them, allowing me to forget for a short while all my worries and sorrows by distracting me with their funny stories. 

Each of these people I‘ve mentioned helped me rediscover myself.  The person I‘d lost.  Because of them I found my strength again, my voice, my determination to never give in or give up.  They were my ports in a storm.  They were my rocks.

Thank you ladies and gent from the bottom of my heart



i remember you now? i used to ask you if you were naked?? notnaked?

i still need everyone to go and sign my petition to open the chat room.

i found out who charles is.


Topic: Suggestions
Subject: Suggestions - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:52:40 AM

Topic: Young & Restless actress Barbara Niven endorses WomanSavers.com
Subject: Young & Restless actress Barbara Niven endorses WomanSavers.com - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:54:07 AM
not pissed wrote:
woo whoo! you go girl :)


hey!! how‘s the new job going. how‘s your love life>?

sayheytoyourmama


Topic: True Friends!
Subject: True Friends! - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:55:47 AM
LittleIvy wrote:
Ooh, can I be the bitch til Sunny comes back???


well you can try.

..."sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to"....delores clairborn


Topic: We the undersigned
Subject: We the undersigned - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:56:56 AM
Measle wrote:
Yeah!  What they said.




attica..attica...attica??

Topic: Americans and Canadians
Subject: Americans and Canadians - Posted: 2/17/2009 11:58:45 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:

HAPPY FAMILIES DAY MEASLE (NOE SCHITT)!!!

MUAH!!!!!!

http://jack.zunino.net/knowjack.htm



it was great not having to work or drive the carpool.

just lovely having a day to lie around an nurse me bones.


Topic: Perfect Gift
Subject: Perfect Gift - Posted: 2/17/2009 12:00:39 PM
Momof4kids wrote:
Yep-came up with EXACTLY what I want.

Wow. 


you so know i want to know what it is right???

Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 12:09:03 PM
shally wrote:
So you agree that if you get angry at a person you should be allowed to post their personal information about every shameful detail of their past? 


take it to the basement.

 


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 12:10:56 PM
shally wrote:
I love most of you dearly,


its so painful to me not to be included in you love ...

but if it means leaving deedee to the wolves..so be it.


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 12:41:57 PM

great, add mind reader to your list of assets.

my personal information is all over this website. i have spared myself very little in my honest approach to helping woman all over AA and here, to realize they are not alone and nothing the can tell me they have done, WOULD EVER SHOCK ME.

i‘ve left almost nothing about myself and my painful journey out, anywhere.

my PRIVATE INFORMATION is different.

i would not reveal anyone‘s location, name or phone number EVER.

nice try to smear me shally.

 


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 5:01:52 PM

Regardless,I feel a certain sadness for them both.  They have hate in their hearts to be so vicious with their attacks on me.  That truly is sad.

you started lying about them. they don‘t have to hate anyone just to say the truth, as they remember it.

they are just sick from what you have tried to say about your mother, your miscarriages, your mm, and all your other crap.

a person that wants to set the record straight is not necessarily coming from a place of anything more then being sick and tired of your lies.

its one thing to struct around trying to lord it over strangers, quite another to try it on people who changed your diapers.

tho i;m not surprised you cant see that.


Topic: We the undersigned
Subject: We the undersigned - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:19:00 PM
LittleIvy wrote:
I say we stop posting til we get chat back!!!
Who else can do it? I know I can.


i went cold turkey on men, booze and pills in my life.  don‘t ask me to go cold turkey on ws.

Topic: ROUND TABLE...ALL ABOUT ME...
Subject: ROUND TABLE...ALL ABOUT ME... - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:20:33 PM
EuropeanGirl wrote:
I have just remembered there is a film called All About Eve.  I haven‘t seen though.






i own it, and you should too. i can lend ya my copy.


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:24:57 PM
tula1969 wrote:
ToucheBaby wrote:
tula1969 wrote:
ToucheBaby wrote:

Thank you Shally,Sunny,Tula and legion! 

Thank you to all of you who can see it for the sh!t it is!

I have spoken about the adoption in detail...its in my post history.  I have no intentions of repeating it.  I have a beautiful daughter I will someday meet. 

It was a very painful and beautiful journey all the same.  I almost envy people who dont understand the meaning of selflessness.  Yet,I wouldnt trade it for the world.

I have found a deep peace and God willing....the best is yet to come.

If my sister and brother wish to twist it into something it wasnt.  Who gives a sh!t? 

Regardless,I feel a certain sadness for them both.  They have hate in their hearts to be so vicious with their attacks on me.  That truly is sad.

With that said....

I sincerely think,believe and have strong faith anyone with an ounce of intelligence can see the bull**** being said about me....is just that......BS! 

Thank you all! 

 

 



Please dont thank me.... I dont think I could take the repercussions tonight.

Maybe‘s tomorrow when I have had a good nights kip, hey?

You know what Touche, I hear from others here that you are some twisted, sick evil BITCH. Does it run in your family???

Fact is, from my own personal point of view....and since my joining here,  I havent witnessed that from you.

Hence not being privvy to what went on before I got here, I can only call a judgement on what I have seen to date.

It appears that is not good enough. I am wrong for going with my own personal experience here.

For doing that I am bang smack out of order and apparently to be ostrisised for it.

I am mature enough to leave the school play ground behind and make my own decisions.

Touche, you havent SHIT on me or anyone here that I care about to date. Take it from me, my morals wont change just because its you, if you do.

I repeat, I do not take sides. I see SHIT I will call SHIT,

I‘m not particularly bothered if you SHIT your pants, your neighbours pants or anyone elses for that matter. I dont happen to care if your TITS are bigger than mine and payed for by a whole football team. I feel, that you felt it necessary to give up a child. I lost 2 before and 2 after Spug. I can only imagine that was a tough one to make.

On that note, sort your own business out with your sister, I can not be the only one who is sick to the back teeth of the havoc it is causing.

This is supposed to be an abuse forum, Its more like a battle field right now of the two sisters with more inhouse abuse than is imagineable.

Friggin awful and unpleasant.

T

 

 

 

 

 



Very sorry to hear of your loss....its a rough road to travel. 

I dont know what to tell you...pull up my post history.  Its all there.  Judge for yourself.  Lorrie was on my ass from day one.  Shes been trying to run me off since. She thought I was someone else.  Who really knows...who really cares.

My need to vent about rezadue outweighed whatever it is she thought.  So I stayed.

 

Ive remained silent through all the BS in general.  Sorry folks...thats just too much bull****.  Im not the one causing the drama.  I found it touching a few of you could see it for what it was.

Thats all............



Touche,

Like I said, you have never harmed me.

I can not stand to see anyone picked on. It kills me. I feel so sad for what has happened to you has happened and is then added to by your own sister.

I genuinely feel real sad today. Sad that what is going on is going on between you and your sister. Sad because its caused a great divide here at WS.

Stay true to what is and let go of what could be.

you

T

 

 

 



cheer up, perhaps hooterville will install phones someday soon.

Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:32:16 PM
tula1969 wrote:
ToucheBaby wrote:

 

I dont know what to tell you...pull up my post history.  Its all there.  Judge for yourself.  Lorrie was on my ass from day one.  Shes been trying to run me off since. She thought I was someone else.  Who really knows...who really cares.

My need to vent about rezadue outweighed whatever it is she thought.  So I stayed.

 

Ive remained silent through all the BS in general.  Sorry folks...thats just too much bull****.  Im not the one causing the drama.  I found it touching a few of you could see it for what it was.

Thats all............

 

 

 

 

 



that‘s a lie.

but hell, one day you‘re an attention seeking  whore and the next a victim of your cruel family. so maybe they were not far off.

have you considered that you are bi-polar, i‘ve seen you slag your daughter, maybe she got it from you.


Topic: Forgive
Subject: Forgive - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:55:29 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmCzd8ciflw

Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/17/2009 6:59:58 PM

Hooterville??

Not familiar with it, but getting the vibe that its in some way derogatory??

Explanation ???

 

it‘s a city south of peyton place. a dig at db‘s boob jobs and an obeservation that if those two would pick up the phone perhaps we would not have to hear any of this.


Topic: Nk‘s idea
Subject: Nk‘s idea - Posted: 2/18/2009 3:34:01 AM
queen esther?

Topic: Is it just me?
Subject: Is it just me? - Posted: 2/18/2009 3:57:30 AM

they are called "re-directs" some have sound.

this morning they want me to go for a hair cut.


Topic: Suggestions
Subject: Suggestions - Posted: 2/18/2009 4:21:43 AM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
CaliforniaGirl wrote:
shally wrote:
http://www.super-sexy-high-heels.com/images/Sandals/405-SASHA(F).jpg


Heels?  On vacation? While drunk?  Could be dangerous.  Where did you find those Shally?


Shally never reveals where she gets her naughty gear!


love the silver polish on her toes.

callie its just silk boxers/sofies with a cami.

or go nude!! when they ask you where are your jammmies tell em: "sorry i sleep nude".


Topic: Morning lorrie
Subject: Morning lorrie - Posted: 2/18/2009 4:24:41 AM

yes, i am rushing to get lucy off to school.

have a great day shell.


Topic: he doesnt want sex anymore
Subject: he doesnt want sex anymore - Posted: 2/18/2009 6:00:12 AM
timeout wrote:
lorrie wrote:


i think its the begining of porno addiction.

which imo leads to cheating.

 



Really? I‘ve not heard that before. Has  anybody had experience of this?


yes. you can google porn addiction.


Topic: JOHNDEERE720 I am looking for you!
Subject: JOHNDEERE720 I am looking for you! - Posted: 2/18/2009 6:16:30 AM
there are no posts or threads with that name, i did a search. you can go into the pm system and send him a pm. or just hit reply to the pm he sent you.

Topic: Update on my sister...for Lorrie (and anyone else who has been through this!)
Subject: Update on my sister...for Lorrie (and anyone else who has been through this!) - Posted: 2/18/2009 6:24:59 PM
CaliforniaGirl wrote:

Since the kids are teenagers, wouldn’t they be able to decide who they want to live with?



bubble, sorry i am so late, you are for sure a bed by now.

i agree with cally. i am a worst case kind of girl. and worst case would be they have to go and live with him for 18 months to 2 years.

once we face the worst, we can prevent it from happening.

and if he has 3 bedrooms and a nice place, its not so bad.

i understand you sister doesn‘t want to ask them to write down what they want, but she needs to let them phrase it in a "our friends and our lives are here"  way. she has too.

i would say face the worst and get busy on the bit about him being a welfare chisler.

she needs to not take this personal or even think about the life she had before or the man she has now.

its what is best for them and any dime store doctor will say, what is best is what they know, what they have always had.

if the worst happens and she fails to prevent him custody, make sure it is not full custody. she will have to cry and miss them for awhile but they are firmly her kids, they love her and its not likely they will do more then endure the asshole until they are of age or he grows bored with having to do work, either at home or at a real job.

he‘s a loser. make sure he loses, by any means possible sweetie.

all the best, let me know.

i will light a candle for you both.

 


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/18/2009 6:27:28 PM
shally wrote:


Wonder what those tats say? 


zactly

Topic: what will new people think?
Subject: what will new people think? - Posted: 2/18/2009 7:46:39 PM
foreversad wrote:


I totally agree with every word you have written. No way in hell am I going to tell what happened to me. I now see that it will come back and haunt me. These people seem to think they are the leaders of this site. No one is.

I can‘t believe the judgement this eves has made. She is not special. (not saying that she said she was)

The taking of sides is crazy.

I‘m hurt and I‘m sad. Who wants to make fun of me?



new people will think whatever they like. just like i did and all the rest have.

anyone that needs help will get help.

if you lie about your entire life or mislead the betrayed woman here then i can‘t answer for what they might say about it. and they have said plenty.

sorry you got here during the full moon. try not to judge us and i will do the same for you.

just remember its the internet. don‘t tell anyone where you live, any real names or your real location.

good luck with whatever brought you here.

 

 


Topic: eves and dd
Subject: eves and dd - Posted: 2/18/2009 7:51:17 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
lorrie wrote:
shally wrote:


Wonder what those tats say? 


zactly


I checked and they say.........Gay Boy Toy.


sure, cuz you have a man you gotta pee on my dream.

Topic: Morning lorrie
Subject: Morning lorrie - Posted: 2/18/2009 8:52:02 PM
EuropeanGirl wrote:
Hi Shelbelle!!

What time do you get up at?




evening e.g. i‘m off to bed.

sweet dreams.


Topic: My theory on Anna Nicole Smith death/son‘s death
Subject: My theory on Anna Nicole Smith death/son‘s death - Posted: 2/19/2009 6:42:04 AM
ToucheBaby wrote:
PandorasBox wrote:
lorrie wrote:

anyway, when my father died the army asked if i wanted him buried in arlington. i do not know a single person in virginia. so i had him buried next to his mom. he was an only child and she was not married when she died.

i am sure he would have liked to be buried with his army buddies, however I WANTED TO VISIT HIS GRAVE. and futher he has no idea where he is buried, imo, he is dead.

and the living that loved him want him close to where his whole family lived even tho when he died none of us had seen him for years.

p.s. the magazine is called "in touch" from feb. 26. the picture of her on the cover with her son is quite good.

 



I know it‘s morbid, but I was thinking - if my husband were to pass away, ....well, I guess I should ask him this, but if he didn‘t state his wishes, I‘d have him cremated and send half his ashes to Sweden, and half here.  That way, his children over there would have "him" close, and so would we here. 

I agree with you, Lorri.  Burial is more for the living than the dead, imo.  The ones who are left to carry on. 



So...If I am to understand this correctly.  To disrespect a dead persons wishes.....is alright because they are "dead" ?

There are actually people out there who would not honor a family members wishes for....convience...so they wouldn‘t have to drive so far?  A bit selfish to me.

Gee...do you disregard  the "dead" persons  word and wishes on who he/she wants their personal belongings to go to?  Just because they are dead and can‘t defend themselves?

Gee...maybe there is a reason they wanted to be buried so far away........ 

Where is the respect in going against a dead persons wishes?  Where? 

 

 

 



quote

Topic: Calmness
Subject: Calmness - Posted: 2/19/2009 6:48:30 AM
ToucheBaby wrote:
lorrie wrote:


for you douche. only for you.

 for the record, on the list of threads there is a spot that informs you who is the author of the thread. you came in here to go after busty.

pay up, i beleive i am owned double. i told you a. she can not shut up and b. she is following us.

this is busty‘s thread, a women you dislike and do not want to do more then take pot shots at and hurt.

you are always trying to hurt everyone, why else would you deliberately come in busty‘s thread and lecture us on what dr. phil meant.

we know what he meant, lambchop.

it is called fun, which we were all having.

someone remove the gate crasher and change the password.

and what business is it of yours if we are sensitive? you keep accusing everyone you hurt in your painful know it all mumbo jumbo manner of being sensitive. little hint baby, women here tend to be sensitive after what they have gone thru.

 try to remember that and perhaps you can do them a favor and leave the sensitive babies alone.

i beleive i am writting in english to a women that understands many languages but never ever understands what is being said to her.



Once again.....WHOOSH........over your head........

But then again...its easy to do.....because now you are on all fours trying to rationalize your behavior.............

~ I was in a hurry this morning...

Have to add...you all can‘t get it through your minds...my post wasn‘t directed at you.  Even if it was...think there was a bit overkill?  Why all the hatefulness?

I came home after wine tasting and dinner @ 12:30ish....

I could careless who‘s thread it is.......I saw the tiger....shes usually a pig.......Didn‘t realize it was her....What difference does it make anyway?

Thought it was funny......I would have traded the Merlot for Syrah and taken a man covered in chocolate.......but I don‘t think that was what Dr. Phil‘ point was...........So that‘s what I posted............

Get over your egos.......

My post is not the root of the problem...now is it...

Thats what you need to acknowledge.....

Funny thing is...........it perfectly fits you now.......

And lorrie...I thought you blocked me?? What happened with that?

You are making this harder on yourselves........I am not going to help you save face........Geez...look at how you are acting...why would I?

 




Topic: Calmness
Subject: Calmness - Posted: 2/19/2009 6:50:50 AM
ToucheBaby wrote:
lorrie wrote:
kittygobyebye wrote:
Well that may explain it... are we dealing with a crack pipe or a peace pipe here? or maybe a little bit of both? In any case when the munchies take effect get your own snacks- the bag of fritos is leaving with me.


step away from the fritoes.


Lorrie....here to wishing you well......hope you find a sturdy man...to take your mind off me..........


wow, if i just get laid i can heal...such deep support. such well thought out advice..get laid and you will be healed..wow

Topic: Calmness
Subject: Calmness - Posted: 2/19/2009 1:10:50 PM
foreversad wrote:


I know I‘m new, but I can‘t figure out why this woman would go through two years worth of posts? Does she not realize how stupid it makes her look since she deleted all of her previous posts? Did she have something to hide? Other posters deleted thier posts too. They must all be friends. This is super weird.

I‘m deleting my account because of this old thread. Some women just can‘t move on.

Some women will never learn to ‘let it go‘. Leave this woman Touche alone! My God! Bringing up two year old threads! Unreal!

The troll here is the one who pulled this thread up.

byeeeee...................have fun fighting with each other.

foreversad




Topic: Hey Tula!!
Subject: Hey Tula!! - Posted: 2/19/2009 2:00:30 PM
BustyLaMoan wrote:
shally wrote:
http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k304/a1angela/SEX%20JOKES%20n%20CARTOONS/ButtFloss.jpg


LOOK!  Some fool at the beach flossing with Momo‘s new VS thong bottoms! 

Wait till Mr.Momo returns with the fruity drinks!!!!!!!



alls i know is her plane landed safely. i haven‘t hear a word since they went into the hotel room.....

Topic: shell
Subject: shell - Posted: 2/19/2009 2:52:08 PM
shally wrote:
Here he is. Look he has a tool bag! RAWR Or is that a hat?

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/cm/cosmopolitan/images/Montana-Bachelor-2004-xlv.jpg


 it looks like he needs some lemonade.

sunny, when life hands you lemons...


Topic: redirects
Subject: redirects - Posted: 2/19/2009 6:49:31 PM
no redirects this evening just slow as hell and weird thing happening with people‘s post having other peoples names on them.

Topic: He did it AGAIN!
Subject: He did it AGAIN! - Posted: 2/20/2009 3:33:51 PM

well at least you know what/who you are up against.

now you need to take charge, very quietly, of your finanaces.

he needs to be shamed at the doctors office getting painful, embarrassing tests for std‘s.

for now, tell no one outside of us. trust me, you will be glad later.

stop talking to her. don‘t do any more violence, believe me, i hit the **** out of my ex.

if he is not telling you, yet, that he loves her, then there is hope.

and you have a right to know if he loves her. which i doubt.

there is not much to love about a vacuum clearer hose that runs out side to give a man "curb service".

have a talk with him, ask him if he loves her. LISTEN to him. couch your respondses in the terms of your pain, humiliation and dis-respect you have rec‘d.

that said, come back and tell us what he says.

 including his firm oath, sworn on the life of his children that he will do NO CONTACT WITH THAT WHORE OR ANY OTHER WHORE, EVER AGAIN.

left unsaid, but clearly implied in your tone, OR ELSE I WILL LEAVE YOU FLAT.

in the meantime, get all the records you have together. hide them under the mat in the trunk of your car. deed to the house, IRS, roth IRA, 401K, health insurance, credit card bills, bank and saving statements.

take them and have them copied. then put back the originals. hide the copies, i suggest the trunk again.

one false move and you will need to alert the bank to take you off the bills and take him off the accounts that still have money in them.

good luck, write back.

i know it seems huge and it probably will not go all that far. but that bitch ain‘t looking out for you, she wants to beat you and take your man.

 


Topic: SWINGERS
Subject: SWINGERS - Posted: 2/20/2009 4:42:59 PM
exhibit B

Topic: System Scans And Maintenance Feb 19th
Subject: System Scans And Maintenance Feb 19th - Posted: 2/20/2009 4:52:40 PM
the redirects are constant and this place loads slower then the service at denny‘s.

Topic: Should I Feel Guilty?
Subject: Should I Feel Guilty? - Posted: 2/20/2009 5:06:16 PM
starlett68 wrote:
ChristyC wrote:

I feel really bad that so many are having problems with the economy in the duldrums, except for one person.  My worthless ex b/f started working in the energy business as a laborer and as the natural gas exploration boomed here in Colorado, he got promotion after promotion.  He was soon making nearly $150K per year.  I stayed with him during the hard times and as soon as the money starting rolling in he dumped me.

All of a sudden he was sporting a $50K jacked-up black Dodge RAM 4X4 pickup, chasing women and staying out all night.  He has always been arrogant and self-absorbed, but at least we did have some good times.  He told me to move out and the only place I could afford to live was with my parents.  Soon 20y/o babes (he is 31) started moving in and out of his house almost on a weekly basis.  He was living the cowboy highlife while I barely made ends meet.  I fianlly got my nursing degree and my RN license.  Right now I am making about $30/hr., getting my bills payed off and enjoying my life.

 

Anyway, the natural gas industry slowed way down here and cowboy stud got the axe from his company.  He has been really reduced to next to nothing.  The fancy truck is gone, his 20y/o‘s deserted him and the last I heard he was living in an old camper trailer in a friend‘s backyard.  I saw him at Wal-Mart still trying to do his arrogant strut in his skintight jeans and snakeskin cowboy boots.  I laughed right in his face.  He just bowed his head and looked at the ground.

 

I am honest, I am loving his downfall, I just wonder if I should be given the reason.

 

 



If he‘s 31 then I‘m 15 he looks older then me.

 I would feel bad too for feeling happy about his karma bus hitting him. This shows we are better people then the ones like him.

Welcome to WS

 



what star? i didn‘t get that?


Topic: just who are we?
Subject: just who are we? - Posted: 2/20/2009 5:09:01 PM
you have come a long way in your young years.

Topic: Congrats Eves!!!
Subject: Congrats Eves!!! - Posted: 2/20/2009 6:11:01 PM
did she tell you she almost didn‘t attend?

she and the prince deserve all the kudos for raising all that money for charity..

all the best eves, and a big smoochie to both of you.

Topic: the joy of fighting
Subject: the joy of fighting - Posted: 2/21/2009 1:43:28 AM

gee shelbel, i went to school with jesus, mary and joseph; the only thing i remember is not having anything to eat until i got back home. when i got there i looked after my sibs until our mother got home the next day. she worked all the time.

 

rhi, a new foal!! can they tell the gender yet? do they do ultrasounds on horses? do horses have insurance?


Topic: My New Friend Bill
Subject: My New Friend Bill - Posted: 2/21/2009 1:49:42 AM
tula1969 wrote:
DeeDee5 wrote:
sunny hot legs wrote:
What a perfect example of a ****ty sister and a back stabbing BITCH!!
I can now see why Touche wants nothing to do with her family!!
Any brother that would talk to a stranger about his sisters.  Dang!!  Wow is all I have to say.
Any person low enough to call a stranger !  WOW!!
Tacky  tacky tacky.

Maybe somebody needs to learn who to keep there drama off the boards!
tacky!!!


WOW......You really are clueless.


You are a classic "abused turned abuser".

Here on a board for abused women too.

Shame on you tenfold.

You really are dispicable, appalling, lacking any amount of integrity or tenacity.

I say it for the hundreth time, I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE NOT MY SISTER.

 

 

 

 



and they call me blind.

Topic: Condom in partners pocket
Subject: Condom in partners pocket - Posted: 2/21/2009 2:29:07 AM
he is hoping to use that condom, sorry mate, just not with you.

dump him now before he gives you more then a broken heart.

Topic: shell
Subject: shell - Posted: 2/21/2009 11:40:45 AM
shelbelle wrote:

to all those wonderful women that have been very kind to me....thank you so much *hugs*

for those that wanna keep the wierdness and arguing going in public...well....go right ahead and keep it going



i find your spaming eves threads very disrespectful.

if you don‘t like the topic of her threads then don‘t open them.

you are flaming her threads. you are spamming HER THREADS.  i find your page after page of screaming at me quite distasteful.

and to have a child your age screaming at me to shut up ...i can‘t discribe the pain of having some stranger censor me...

this is how you make me feel...



im just sick from seeing page after page of you trying to control me, silence me, and dictate where i can post.


Topic: measle
Subject: measle - Posted: 2/21/2009 1:34:39 PM
sunny hot legs wrote:
evesdrop wrote:
shally wrote:
Nonsense begets nonsense, ME.

And if you don‘t like what shell is doing why don‘t you report her to the mod?




Is that one of your "bible" quotes?? Lay off Measle...she has done nothing wrong!! You loved her and were sucking up to her at one time...and now pffffft....psycho hooker is more important?? Nice rolley guy "little Livid"....


OMG  Shally  you now cant tell a friend of yours that you don‘t agree with something she has done! 
I rather respect that shally said that to her.  Notice she told her exactly what she was thinking  and didn‘t tell anybody any of her secrets  or say a thing about her personal life.

That is what a true friend does.
You could learn from Shally!!



i agree sunni, sortof

but shell was talking to measle. in a thread shell started, then shally came in to "defend" shell.

shell could just of easily told measle in a PM, since clearly, they have each others pm addys.

shell brought it here.

she wanted to let measle know she doesn‘t want to talk to her or have measle talk at all, for that matter, pm or posts.

Topic: shell
Subject: shell - Posted: 2/21/2009 2:12:13 PM
nikkie wrote:


Does the same thing apply to people here who have tried to censor me? And control when, how or where I post?

To be honest I totally agree with you about respect, but only if said respect is a two way street.


nikki, i don‘t make the rules. i don‘t beleive in half the rules anyway.

i don‘t work here.

i rarely have ever said a word to the mods ABOUT ANYONE.

including people who have said the most horrendous things about me, my mother, and my child.

 i have rarely every told someone to STFU. maybe a handful of times.

and i can‘t remember asking anyone to go thru 16 pages of horredous screaming just to say their piece.

i feel she is trying to shut me up, to dictate where we can say what we want to say.

she is trying to force us(and you know who i mean) to ‘‘MAKE UP‘‘, to get over it, because she won‘t "hear any different".

no one is ready yet, they may not be for awhile yet.

and she is not gonna force anyone to do her will. or to sprinkle her holy water on me either, for that matter.

i find the whole thing offensive.

me who argues, and cusses and spends days at a time in the basement, i like to think i will at least hear what the other person has to say.


Topic: shell
Subject: shell - Posted: 2/21/2009 3:36:24 PM
foreversad wrote:

 

Why not keep out of the threads  posted by someone you don‘t like. On the other hand, no ONE person ownes any thread. Isen‘t this a PUBLIC board?

I would rather laugh with all of you,

 



yes forever sad, no one owns a public board, hell these days you don‘t even own your own image or reputation.

but there are still rules of civility and manners even on the web.

the author of the thread starts the thread to start a dialog, to bitch, to vent, to cry, to inquire.

if the author of the thread says a person‘s name and posts to them, then the person can respond. or not.

its rude to jump in and respond about a topic that doesn‘t concern you or say your name.

most topics, in general, are open to anyone, usually.

you caught us at a bad time.

a painful time, that frankly doesn‘t concern you.

im sorry to sound harsh. i am.

i don‘t know that anyone can protect you from painful posts on here, right now, unless you want to go to the abuse section.

the abuse section is where never a harsh word is spoken. its one of the few true rules that everyone here respects.

i am glad to hear that you had restoreitive deep long slumber and i envy you.

i too, love to laugh and forget my troubles here.

and we will again.

stick around, don‘t quit before the majic happens.


Topic: Congrats Eves!!!
Subject: Congrats Eves!!! - Posted: 2/21/2009 4:10:02 PM
EvesdropBaby wrote:
.we raised over 19,000 to go to the Lions Club. I think they are going to use it to get glasses for the needy as well as help the blind.


hey!! i need new bins!! and i am a leo the lion, so they should give me these then right??

 

i will send you my prescription if you send me some pain pills, fed ex would be best.


Topic: shell
Subject: shell - Posted: 2/22/2009 2:10:08 AM
Thank Lorrie. I will check out the abuse section. I haven‘t been there yet.

i don‘t know you story or what brought you here but from what little i can see, the abuse section is your best bet.

as you have frequently and wholeheartedly pointed out, places for abused and abandoned woman should be safe, you should be safe. but no one here or anywhere in your life can give you a guarantee. and altho the fuss going on here right now does not concern you, i will say that betrayal and loss of trust most often starts with lies.

tell me anything you like, just don‘t lie to me.

because lies are what brought me here. and my welcome was way way way harsher then yours.





 It seems though, that even though a thread is started for just one person, it ends up several pages long with lots of people posting.

then they should stay on the topic and not "  jack"   the thread. its rude.

and what we are doing is "hijacking" this thread right now.






Topic: What do you look like?
Subject: What do you look like? - Posted: 2/22/2009 1:46:29 PM

okay ladies, i was gonna tell you how i look IRL but i decided that i would skip all the baloney and just post my real picture. poor m.e.

 


Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/22/2009 3:57:41 PM

i‘m so lazy that when i‘m folding the clothes,  i get sick of it so i just roll up the bottom sheets and shove them in the closet. oddly, never the top sheets.

i‘m so lazy i just sprinkle the comet in the kitchen sink and hope to god it works itself out.

 

i‘m so lazy that men call and i not only don‘t answer, don‘t call for their message, i don‘t even call them back.

 

i‘m so lazy that i rarely even get bored.

i‘m so lazy i will not even walk, let alone drive the 2 blocks up the store for marlbors. i will just smoke the shorts. i will do this until there is no coffee of any kind any where. then i will go.

 

i‘m so lazy i won‘t get my arm fixed but i may hire my bff to clean my house, and pay her.

i‘m so lazy my daughter‘s scrapbooks only go up to second grade

 

how lazy are you?


Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/22/2009 4:29:08 PM
im tooooo lazy to pm anybody to tell them to call me, so just call me. k?

Topic: changes r fun
Subject: changes r fun - Posted: 2/22/2009 11:01:54 PM

****ie suckie?

lame duckie?

see what you made me do.

i came in here to say that changes r fun. but i see nothing has changed.

you two bitches need to lay off. please?

if you can‘t play fair at least pretend to follow the rules.

 


Topic: Pitfalls of needing emotional validation
Subject: Pitfalls of needing emotional validation - Posted: 2/23/2009 12:20:05 AM
ToucheBaby wrote:

Lose The Need For Validation!!!!!

I am writing this blog because I have come to realize that the need for validation from people is very sad and self destructive to an individual seeking the validation. The need for validation is equal to the need to be accepted and to be right. THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN VALIDATE AND ACCEPT YOU IS YOURSELF!!! No one else can give you that. Not your spouse, family, children, friends, no one at all. Lose the need for it and you will become a true free spirit.

I know. We have a life changing event, something big happens to us, we are a victim of a crime, disease, etc. We want to tell the world that this happend to us. We want to be recognized for our pain and our growth from our experience. We are shocked when we tell our story and no one really gives a darn. We are mad. We want to tell people that they are heartless and rude for not validating us. WELL THE TRUTH IS...................... Everyone has a story. There is not one person alive who has not been through some type of crisis and has had their life changed by it. Unless you‘ve been living in a cave, more than likely you have a story to tell. Could you imagine that every time you meet a person, they just want to talk about their life crisis. Wouldn‘t you just get drained and depressed? It is not healthy to bring it up to just anyone. It depletes you of life energy every time you tell it to people. That desperate need for validation becomes toxic to you. It will make you relive the pain and it will hold you back from being your true spiritual self. Your story becomes the death of your exhistence.

There is an African tribe ( i have heard this story from many transformational leaders) that gives you three times to tell your story. If you tell it a fourth time, then they will hang you over a cliff in their village and ask you how important is that story to you now? THE REASON WHY THIS IS DONE is because it weakens the tribe. Remember that we are all connected by energy so the need to tell our friends, family, co workers,etc our story over and over will turn them away from us because it weakens our relationship with them. One wounded apple can ruin the whole tribe.

WHY DOES A PERSON NEED TO BE VALIDATED?

For one simple reason. They have not healed the situation or accepted theirself. Usually a person feels that if they let go of their story that they are not validating it. The key is to learn the lessons from it and to forgive it than move forward. Our stories are to grow us not to stop us in our tracks. We are to see that nothing happens to us that we can not handle. We must gain the strength to press on from our life experience. Sometimes we tell our story so much until it cuts people out of our lives because they burn out on it. We become self absorbed victims when we persist with our grand tragedies over and over and over and over!! AWKNOWLEDGE IT, LEARN FROM IT, HEAL IT AND THEN MOVE FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FORGIVING THE PAST!

I know if you forgive, you think that you are tolerating what happen to you. Especially if you have to forgive a rapist, abuser or a person who murdered a love one that you must hate them in order to validate what happend to you. Well, remember they do not care if you hate them so when you hate them , you are actually trying to force them to care and they just do not care most of the time that they have hurt someone. So you get angry and you think that you will make them care. WRONG! You just put yourself in bondage and you are powerless in this position of anger. You are the one who can not move forward in life. You run the risk of getting cancer, heart disease, arthritis, etc. You are creating a dangerous toxic environment in your body. AND STILL THE PERSON WHO HURT YOU CAN CARE LESS!! What have you gained from your anger. NOT A DARN THING BUT MORE MISERY! So the forgiveness is for you not the other person. Save yourself from yourself!!!!

I can write for hours about this topic. I have had to forgive the guy who murdered my brother and I have had to forgive and let go of many things. It was a relief. I was at dinner with a woman‘s dining group and as usual there is always one person at dinner who needs a lot of validation. This woman was actually a psychologist and was dominating the conversation. There was five of us there and she would not shut up and let anyone talk. I finally called the waiter over so that we can order because she needed some food in her mouth in a hurry. She then said to me that she was in the middle of her life changing story and that I was rude for calling the waiter. I looked at her and said that she is out with other people and she should learn to listen to others versus her insecure need to be validated about her boring life story. We all told her that we did not want to hear anymore from her. This shocked her!I AM A STRAIGHT SHOOTER!. She was mad that I told her to let go of the need for constant validation. After all , she is Ms. Psychotherapist who knows it all. I told her that she needs to heal her own crap before trying to help anyone else. Basically, I wish that I had a cliff to hang  her over  by her legs. SHE REALLY NEEDS TO LET GO OF HER STORY FAST! She is new to our group and she just could not let anyone speak. Then I told her to hush or leave. She went crazy trying to bite her tongue. She eventually left and the energy got better.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM HER WAS........

Our stories are toxic and really makes us unpleasant to be around. I am glad that I have lost the need to be validated by people.

HOW TO HEAL FROM YOUR STORY

Go to a healthy therapist and really do some Byron Katie work and some true inward healing. Us advisors on keen can be a great help so let us help you from the core. Do not just hope for a magical prediction but participate in your life and realy change your life. Your story has happend but do not let it rule you to the point that you are losing yourself. Be willing to go deep and heal. Be an inspiration to others. See what you can learn from your story and see how you can help others. It is always great therapy to help others. Love and accept yourself completely then you will lose the need to want to have everyone love and accept you. ONLY YOU CAN LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU NEED TO BE LOVED.



Published Tuesday, March 04, 2008 7:00 AM by askdrdonna

 

20.  Do not post or attach copyrighted material without including the specific and express permission granted by the original author (or the copyright holder if that is no longer the original author). If you do not have permission, please post a link to the material.

 

 

http://www.keen.com/CommunityServer/UserBlogPosts/askdrdonna/Lose-The-Need-For-Validation/342460.aspx


Topic: Alcoholism Information
Subject: Alcoholism Information - Posted: 2/23/2009 9:47:05 AM
you know i pwned ya right?

Topic: The Oscars
Subject: The Oscars - Posted: 2/23/2009 10:51:31 AM
so glad someone besides me wants to dish about it.

i loved hugh jackman, a servicable voice and he brought the theater to the big screen.

i missed the **** with JA on stage, hadda go to the store. i hope i can find it on ytube or someplace.

you know what tho, all i could think of is how much the first few sentences sean penn said in his acceptance speech reminded me of how i am how i think i must seem to others.

anyway, i was hoping, praying, waiting for mr. penn to top vhing rhmees and give his oscar to mickey rourke.

penn‘s got it all. it would have made history if he, with all his fame, money and alcolades had just got up and said, thank you so much, but i am just the announcer, the oscar goes to mickey rourke.

i could do with out the social **** in his speech as well, because hearing the news that there were anti-gay protesters outside is daunting. but i at a loss why actors think we need to know how they feel about polictics???

now, was penelope cruise the bomb. loved loved her. 

which was your favorite dress???

did you think getting five of the past best actresses together to announce the five current noms seemed almost like a call to a coven on a full moon???

or was that just me.

anthony hopkins clearly didn‘t get paid enough to talk about brad cuz even he couldn‘t get past all the techno make-up help  brad got.

xoxo

Topic: changes r fun
Subject: changes r fun - Posted: 2/23/2009 10:53:29 AM
im so sorry i even asked you eves. that p/a little **** heel wants to keep going. 


...its always fun till someone loses an eye...then its hilarious.



props to murd

Topic: Get Well For DeeDee
Subject: Get Well For DeeDee - Posted: 2/23/2009 11:36:17 PM

Topic: Alcoholism Information
Subject: Alcoholism Information - Posted: 2/24/2009 12:44:04 AM
had_enough wrote:
alcholism is a terrible problem. i know cause i live with one.it is bad. it ruins peoples lifes.


untreated, its the scourge of the earth. did you know that they ran a survey in prisons and found that over 90 percent of the inmates were either drunk or on drugs when they committed their crimes, the rest were looking to get drunk or high when they committed the crimes.

rape, murder, assault, robbery, and mostly domestic violence can all be traced to drinking and drugs.

i see you are up late as well. i am up early.

the o.p. posted this bit about alkies to hurt my feelings.

for years when ever some nut wanted to hurt me, they throw my drinking in my face, even tho i quit cold turkey in 1987. 

why are you up so late? i can listen if you like.


Topic: He is really nuts....The Super Dad effect.
Subject: He is really nuts....The Super Dad effect. - Posted: 2/24/2009 4:23:08 AM

crumble up the meds and sprinkle them in his food. then wait...

 

nah, that would be so wrong.


Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/24/2009 7:28:34 AM
ay, rhi, i bet you looked grand, just like julia roberts in "something to talk about".

i am so lazy and don‘t want to make an effort to move so i just signed another lease instead.

i don‘t want to live here, i don‘t want to look for a new place. i don‘t want to throw away anymore stuff or pack anything or lose anything, so  i stay in my tiny atelier and wait...for my lease to be up. again.

Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/24/2009 7:29:44 AM
how do you like my avatar? does it look like she smelled a fart or what???

Topic: got moved
Subject: got moved - Posted: 2/24/2009 7:31:31 AM
i m glad to hear from you and suggest that you relax and get your bearings. don‘t try to do it all in one day or even a week.

its exciting to go to a new place, whatever the reason and i hope you will be happy there.


Topic: Alcoholism Information
Subject: Alcoholism Information - Posted: 2/24/2009 12:23:31 PM
UnconventionallyMe wrote:

this board is very confusing.

can it just be spelled out.

jackjames, you sound like you need a good stiff one. In more ways than one. shoosh, or Ill get out my wooden spoon.



okay, "jack" is the term for taking over a thread with your own adgenda and jackjames‘s location is PI from another member, the sign of a trolling.

hence, the post i made saying pwned.

then a new member came in later with a problem so i decided to play it straight and tell my story.

i hope she comes back.

thanks ladies.

yas?? how‘s it going??


Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/24/2009 12:26:50 PM
Momof4 wrote:
lorrie wrote:
how do you like my avatar? does it look like she smelled a fart or what???


She looks like a very proper parakeet.

I‘m trying to figure out what lazy means. I don‘t do anything. Does that make me lazy?


well, with your schedule, you could try. i don‘t have any hope for you to be lazy.

but even busy people can have little quirks.

like i read katie couric‘s house keeper says katie puts everything in her purse. chewed gum, half drank soda‘s.

now spill the dirt woman.


Topic: This is kinda GAY
Subject: This is kinda GAY - Posted: 2/24/2009 12:29:53 PM

i am running three browers. i.e., firefox and safari.

with i.e. if you come here and get re directs you have to hit...

nevermind...make a thread for tech support would you U>M>?

i have been meaning to but every time i try i get the ten second tidy**.

 

 


Topic: Alcoholism Information
Subject: Alcoholism Information - Posted: 2/24/2009 12:30:56 PM
okay. the pink elephant in the room, jackjames? i thought it was touche. sorry. there it is.

Topic: The Oscars
Subject: The Oscars - Posted: 2/24/2009 12:42:16 PM
fast, do you think there is a riff between michelle and heath‘s family. i thought it was odd that she wasn‘t there?

Topic: Alcoholism Information
Subject: Alcoholism Information - Posted: 2/24/2009 10:39:25 PM
yas, download firefox. its simple and easy if you have a pc. otherwise try to pm me.
xoxo

Topic: The Oscars
Subject: The Oscars - Posted: 2/24/2009 10:44:06 PM
kaylar wrote:
I think so, for there was no reason for the daughter not to be there.  

I also look forward to the In Memorial and liked how queen latifa was subdued. 


i have to confess, i was hoping they would show his daughter but she‘s still quite young, no?

Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/25/2009 12:14:15 PM

i‘m so lazy if the coupons are for less then a dollar, i  don‘t even bother.

 

 


Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/26/2009 4:20:48 AM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:


I must say it does secretly annoy me to go to Walmart, Kmart or the grocery store and see someone there in their quite obvious P.J.s .....You don‘t see that **** at Target.  :)

Smell Ya Later!




why? my bunny slippers match

i had a woman next door years ago. she musta been a hundred years old. and she would water her lawn in her nightie every morning.. a see-thru white silk one, with her granny panties and bra showing.

i never did figure out how the grass even grew after that.

Topic: OMG!!!!!!!!
Subject: OMG!!!!!!!! - Posted: 2/26/2009 8:11:41 AM
sunny hot legs wrote:
Wow  I think I need to shave!


pass the wax?

Topic: Should I leave for awhile?
Subject: Should I leave for awhile? - Posted: 2/26/2009 8:15:44 AM
i will have to agree with the ladies. esp because i can‘t read paragraphs without "breaks".

can you please put some breaks between thoughts for me, please???

signed,



Topic: got moved
Subject: got moved - Posted: 2/26/2009 8:19:24 AM
nstevens wrote:


ty and at this point I feel like I will never be unpack.

lorrie we for the second time because of my son health and hope and pray that we have a very good doctoer who can him become better.

since we have been here he seems to be getting worse .

more blood has been done and it takes about 4 weeks for that to come back.

I have asked god every day to help him and that I would take his place.

ty to you all and I have missed you .



i am sure i can speak for all of us and say, we will add our prayers to yours and bombard the heavens. starting now.

Topic: From a friend we share
Subject: From a friend we share - Posted: 2/26/2009 8:23:16 AM
i‘m sorry i have not replied, unless i did reply and forgot.

i don‘t  know what to say as i cannot hear her voice thru yours.

just tell her what granny used to say: he don‘t drink, he don‘t beat you, he don‘t use drugs, he don‘t gamble, he brings his paycheck home every week....decide if that is enough for you or not.

Topic: A Balanced Heart...
Subject: A Balanced Heart... - Posted: 2/26/2009 6:25:51 PM

This poem was written by Margaret Jang, who has been channelling inspirational guidance/teachings from Spirit, in poetry format since 2002. Margaret is a healing facilitator for Reiki & gemstone therapy and is also an instructor offering courses and workshops for Reiki, gemstone healing & psychic/soul development. She resides in Vancouver, BC

 

Balanced Heart

In difficult times, how do you start,
keeping an open and balanced heart?
You might be told that there‘s no such thing,
but learning how is the lesson it brings.

It doesn‘t come easy; this is for sure,
where heartache hides, you feel there‘s no cure.
But if you stop thinking to perceive what you feel,
the answers await you, which are very real.

Although you dislike what you have to do,
be humble, be calm and be gracious too,
For in this life you stay here to learn,
how to choose wisely and how to discern.

And when you feel lost or feel out of sync,
step back to breathe, then just don‘t think.
Take time to relax; let judgements go,
then wisdom inside you will start to flow.

But then you must listen to the voice within,
for the songs and messages that it brings.
By then you will feel a shift in the scale,
balance will come; it happens without fail.

You will know without ever being told,
serenity and peace will first take hold.
Abundance of joy with love is then cast,
and a balanced heart, forever will last.


Topic: The Process of Domestic Violence
Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence - Posted: 2/26/2009 6:33:34 PM
Rhiannon wrote:

I apologize if I offended you Kaylar. 

Actually what I described is not a soap opera at all.  It is a real life story and all of these events actually occurred.  My version of "Ann" is a real person.

What I was attempting to point out is that there are all kinds of faces to domestic violence.  People have all kinds of stereotypes of women in these situations.  People don‘t think of smart, professional women getting into these relationships, and have a hard time understanding why someone like that would have a hard time leaving.  Or more importantly, why some women stay for so long.

I was not trying in any way to invalidate your comments or observations, which I happen to think are quite good!  I was just presenting more than one story.  When you mentioned the "process of domestic violence" I added another story to show the twists and turns and the dilemma of being in an abusive relationship.

What is missing in both scenarios is the real story of how the "system" tends to trap women.  In this story, there was law enforcement who botched the job by not arresting the assailant, which served to make him more dangerous.  He abused her worse because of it.  There were the courts, who were more concerned with a "father‘s rights" than with the safety and welfare of the children.  There was the employer, who lacked understanding when the abuser was harassing the victim at work.  There were the neighbors, family members and friends who identified with the abuser, and colluded in ganging up on her.  Even the family babysitter thought "Roy" was a wonderful man and was willing to testify on his behalf in court.  There was the attorney she trusted who dropped the case.  And then there was the victim herself who was afraid to risk everything and just leave.

Also, because she helped him make a career change, he ended up with a very good income, which only served to make him a more powerful abuser.  He had the better lawyer, and he had the money to fight it.  She was very lucky to obtain custody of her children.

"Ann" succeeded in leaving but it wasn‘t "over" when it was over. 

I just think it‘s really important to tell the whole story and to present more than  one point of view.  I was in no way intending to invalidate you, Kaylar.  Please - carry on! 




Topic: The Oscars
Subject: The Oscars - Posted: 2/26/2009 6:42:26 PM
Rhiannon wrote:

 what do you think is going to be his next encore?



finally coming out the closet? film at 11.

 

 


Topic: i‘m so lazy
Subject: i‘m so lazy - Posted: 2/27/2009 3:51:51 AM
SybilSucks wrote:
Miss Luvly1 wrote:
I‘m so lazy I forgot to send in $50 rebates for my phones, and now I can‘t find them.  I think my hubby secretly stole them and used the money on his whore.

Coupons?  By the time I decide that I am actually going to do this they are all expired.

I‘m so lazy that when my daughter wet her bed instead of changing her sheets right then and there I told her to change her P.J.s and climb in bed with me.

The best one was Rhi going to the gas station in her nightgown! Way to go Rhi!!

I must say it does secretly annoy me to go to Walmart, Kmart or the grocery store and see someone there in their quite obvious P.J.s .....You don‘t see that **** at Target.  :)

Smell Ya Later!




I‘m so lazy that instead of putting on make-up I had most of it tattooed on...

I‘m so lazy I won‘t get up from my recliner to go knock on my kids door....I just call them in their bedrooms on their cell phones....

And hey Luvly....I go everywhere in my PJ‘s....grocery store, gas station, movie theatre, Walmart....Hey....maybe I‘m one of those people you have seen....LOL....



yup, i‘m so lazy if i can‘t reach the tv remote i just watch whatever is on.

i‘m so lazy, if lucy don‘t answer my shout, i call her on her cell and she yells.. mmmooommm, im on the OTHER line.



Topic: Supermom needs our prayers.....
Subject: Supermom needs our prayers..... - Posted: 2/28/2009 1:48:55 AM
all the best for a speedy recovery.

Topic: i‘m so OCD
Subject: i‘m so OCD - Posted: 2/28/2009 12:55:12 PM
i wanna give busty a chance so here goes:

i‘m so OCD that any liquid in any form must be all used up and completely empty before i will throw it away.

this means that i have water in the shampoo bottles, conditioner bottles, dish liquid, laundry liquid bleach, perfume, you name it. if it has one smidge left, its still good.

waste not want not.

 as a kid we cut the toothpaste tube open to get the last swipe out. oddly i obsessively buy new toothbrushes rotating the old ones to the pile of scubbers i have no intention of every scrubbing anything with.

i am so OCD that i keep food in the fridge i have no intention of ever eating, until its past the expiration date. then i can throw it out and not count it as wasted.

the marks the vacuum makes must be all going one way on the carpet, the fluffy way.

my sore feet must have shoes on every min. sometimes  i sleep with flip flops on.

i am so OCD i consider people that wear flip flops fashion losers and i MUST check anyone wearing them anywhere near me for a fresh pedicure, otherwise i look down on them.

i am ocd so bad that i have three boxes of cereal with less then an ounce in them. all rolled down to keep them fresh.

next...???

come on, don‘t lie.



Topic: Healthy tips for releasing anger...
Subject: Healthy tips for releasing anger... - Posted: 2/28/2009 3:57:31 PM
ToucheBaby wrote:
This article is a nod to a guy I know named.....Bill. 


wow, you have esp there db. he called my house.

i told him he had the wrong number and gave him the addy here.

 

 


Topic: Dating sites
Subject: Dating sites - Posted: 2/28/2009 5:18:47 PM
i never cheated on my husband.

Topic: Feeling Sad, Trying hard not to call my STBX
Subject: Feeling Sad, Trying hard not to call my STBX - Posted: 3/1/2009 9:50:26 PM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:
I‘m not sure why.  I guess I still do love him.  Even though all the arrows point to the fact that he does not love me.

Wishing my husband was smart enough to see a counselor and try to save our marriage on his own because he wanted to.

Saddened to the point of crying because I don‘t think he has cared for a very long time.  Why am I hanging on?

Please God, help me get through this.  I have thought about this for about 6 hours straight now.  I still want to call him.  Even though I know that he will either hang up or be rude. 


we hang on to lots of bad habits, old ones to.

they are comfy and familiar.

you‘re just having a panic attack because change is scary and uncertain.

you just have to focus on all you will gain.

 

sweet freedom come to mama.

 


Topic: how can I stop cheating!??!!
Subject: how can I stop cheating!??!! - Posted: 3/17/2009 12:41:41 PM
guyinneedofhelp wrote:
So this is a big step for me.  I am a guy who is cheating on his wife.  I am unsure of why I am doing it.  Worse yet i am doing it with another man.  When I was 10 yo I was sexually abused by an older male relative (17).  I am not gay.  I am very much straight but through the years i have hooked up with a few men from online sites such as craigslist.  I don‘t know why I do it.  I am not attracted to men AT ALL.  I feel like it is an easy way to sexually experiment and as soon as I am finished I hate myself for doing it (even before I was ever in a relationship).  For some reason I always go back... I don‘t know why...  Please help me end the terrible cycle!!!


not only are you gay but you hate yourself. you feel you are worthless and just to prove it you act worthless.

perhaps you are re-inacting the rape you suffered.

what ever it is, its unhealthy mentally and physically dangerous.

ask your wife what she thinks you should to.

 


Topic: Please, Please, Please
Subject: Please, Please, Please - Posted: 3/28/2009 12:52:09 PM
please let me know if there is anything i can do busty.

of course i will pray for your dad and hold good thoughts for your family.
xoxo

Topic: Please, Please, Please
Subject: Please, Please, Please - Posted: 4/2/2009 1:24:07 PM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

Dad came home yesterday.  He will go back for testing this week.  He didn‘t want to stay in the hospital for the weekend although they thought he should.  He is stubborn about health stuff but aren‘t all men?  He does sound better.  They ran some tests but couldn‘t tell what was going on.  They gave him glicerin and got his blood pressure down.  They gave him pain pills for his side.  His pancreas was inflamed.

 

Thank you all for your prayers.  I appreciate it.  Poor Boo was really upset about all this.  I was also but Boo was really hit.  It‘s gonna be a bad day when we lose my parents.  It is going to affect us all but I think Boo will be totally crushed.  My father does all the things H sould be doing with him.  They are very close.



 

 

when i said, don‘t call me, i didn‘t mean you, lovie.

 

mushy mushy


Topic: Bad 2 weeks
Subject: Bad 2 weeks - Posted: 4/2/2009 1:26:00 PM
evesdrop wrote:
Thank You gentleman/ladies for your concern. I guess I‘m just tired, baked, hating life, and feel everything is FUCKED....but I will survive. I had a drunken experience with my son last night, and it was just like looking and dealing with his dad..........FUCK!!!


eves, this is what you do best. take care of everyone. and you do it very well.

do me a favor and take care of yourself.

mushy mushy


Topic: CAUGHT the SOB
Subject: CAUGHT the SOB - Posted: 4/10/2009 4:22:04 AM

those two whores have been sneaking and plotting behind your back for months.

forget about them. they are worthless. 

 

go and find the money. before they take it all.

 


Topic: Confused....Is it all my fault
Subject: Confused....Is it all my fault - Posted: 4/10/2009 4:28:15 AM
soupdijour wrote:
I‘ve been married for 10 yrs. This Sept. will make 11, (if I can survive what I‘m feeling). My husband has been cheating on me throughout the duration of our marriage. First, it started with online AIM, search sites, myspace, facebook, and then tagged.com. There has been "inappropriate behavior" with co-workers along the way, yet I can‘t help but feel it was all my fault. He was so happy with all of them. He said things to them that he never could say to me. He was tender and endearing with them and so stalk cold with me. What could I have done so wrong that my husband wanted everyone else but me?


10 years is  nothing. if you work it right you can go another 20. then you can be a washed up aging puddle of nothing.

keep on with him, all you are getting is older.

unless you like it?


Topic: What would you do if you know this?
Subject: What would you do if you know this? - Posted: 4/11/2009 2:11:22 AM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:

 



Um, no they will not confess.  That is where they start making up stories about how you are a crazy woman making up lies. 

Write her a letter much like the post you have made here.  If you can get pictures of these two together, so much the better and then send them to her.  Tell her about the child as well. 

I would have appreciated someone just telling me the truth.  It took him being out of the house before people started to come forward and tell me what I had suspected all along.  WTF? 


 what was i thinking?

 i thought she asked for advice.

 


Topic: measle‘s garden
Subject: measle‘s garden - Posted: 4/19/2009 12:11:42 PM
Measle wrote:


MUAH!


and just where did those lips that belong to me, land?

Topic: CAUGHT the SOB
Subject: CAUGHT the SOB - Posted: 4/19/2009 12:27:28 PM
dms68 wrote:
thanks for the supportive posts everyone.  my attorney says i should have no problem getting the house and keeping full custody of the children.  although i am torn over whether or not to let him see the children at all.  i want to punish him but keeping them from there dad will ultimately hurt them.  i don‘t want them to suffer any more than they already have. 

i had an enjoyable night out with my girlfriend last night and i ran into an old acquaintance that i once had a crush on.  he is gorgeous. he‘s a pediatrician and has custody of his two sons.  he is recently divorced and i hear that his wife had an affair because he was a workaholic and didnt give her enough attention.    i know not to rush into anything but at least he can take my mind off of the jerk.

dana


i‘m sorry to have to offer this advice to you, in a harsh manner, but...you are making classic, text book mistakes right now.

what your lawyer tells you he can do, and what will happen are not a given. do the work NOW, avoid going back to court over every little thing. you have to pay fees every single time you want to change the agreement.

do not, do not, make a single move as a woman, until the divorce. trust me.

not only will you look bad but you will be hurt, emotionally.

focus on the money, and negotiating a "legal seperation", for now.

decide the terms of :

child custody(go for full physical custody, and spell out what he may not do to or for the children when he has them. like no altering their appearance in any way and no over nights with any female non-relatives.) i did this so the hoor couldn‘t cut lucy‘s hair or take her for a tatoo.

child support

child visitation(including where and when. get the holidays you want, right here, its binding).

alimony(over fifty/10years married or stay at home mom/10years married.

assests(here you have to sweet talk, appear reasonable and hide the family silver. also make sure every single piece of paper with a debt on it, is paid. esp. if your name is on the debt with his)

write it all down, in pencil, argue about it now, have it out, get aunt wheezies sofa or those towels with the bunnies NOW. then type it up, both sign and date it. take it to your lawyer, ask him to file it.

you need to get this done, with in the next two weeks.  GET AWAY FROM HIM FINANCIALLY.

 if he is hurt,disabled or takes out any "lines of credit" loans,before you have the separation, you will be stuck.

good luck. xoxo


Topic: Sneaky tactics of men - are you familiar with these?
Subject: Sneaky tactics of men - are you familiar with these? - Posted: 4/19/2009 1:26:37 PM
ravenlady wrote:

Some sneaky behavior from men to cover themselves: men, some of them or probably all of them some of the time do this:

*turn down women in front of people so that everyone will be inclined to believe they are faithful. I‘ve seen/known of extremely beautiful women have this happen because men think by doing this everyone will think no man with a faithless bone in his body could resist.

*rave about their wife/girlfriend/family as cover for their infidelities.

Men can be so sneaky.



do you know a woman named muffin?

i think she wrote about that awhile back.

does it include taking your wife on long european vacations?


Topic: Dear Miss Stephanie
Subject: Dear Miss Stephanie - Posted: 4/20/2009 6:27:48 PM

here‘s hoping you are enjoying your vaca on the slopes. and i can only imagine that meeting maria shriver‘s husband must be very exciting. except for the fact they live in california, i‘d envy you.

but do you think, inbetween visiting the govenor and surfing the hawaiian islands, you could give a thought to the hoi polloi back here, on earth.

you know, the woman that buttered your bread years before you switched to biscotti? the woman who‘s stories of pain, divorce and abuse served as fodder for your success.

a chat room, little miss?

i‘m not saying please, either.

 


Topic: Dear Miss Stephanie
Subject: Dear Miss Stephanie - Posted: 4/23/2009 8:10:25 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:
I‘m thinking this place is not Steph‘s baby anymore.


bingo. and where did the twitter button go? or is it just my eyes again?

 

ladies, you can chat on AOL which is not as easy as opening a fake gmail account with a snappy  nick name and sending invites to your ws friends.

chat away. just not here, sadly.

its the poor stunned abused woman looking for support that need the chat room HERE!!

 

and while i have you here, is it true that dreamer is doing cyber sex with a webcam now?


Topic: Dear Miss Stephanie
Subject: Dear Miss Stephanie - Posted: 4/23/2009 8:13:40 AM
bubblecropper wrote:

"the woman that buttered your bread years before you switched to biscotti?"

I swear....you need to start writing books or doing stand-up. Woman...its where your fortune is.

Unfortunately chat never worked for me...I never quite got the gist of it...



my doctor doesn‘t seem to think that a steady diet of angry sarcasm is good for me, alas, i didn‘t pay him for advice i can get on the street.

how are you, our bubble? did you up date your thread in the basement?


Topic: More prayers please
Subject: More prayers please - Posted: 4/25/2009 5:14:01 PM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

Sigh......this time it‘s for my brother.  He developed phenomia and the top part of heart stopped working.  He would not stay in the hospital and is now recovering at my parents.  As you know my father was recently ill and I can‘t imagine this strain of having their homeless sick eldest son staying with them is a good thing.  However I am happy my stubborn brother decided not to stay in his car to recover. 

Please pray for my brother‘s recovery and my family‘s health.  I really appreciate it ladies. 



darling, a family, all together, is the best medicine.

hopefully, this is a wake up call for your brother to see what everyone means to him. all of this could be nothing more then catalyst for change.

nevertheless, i‘m gonna get god on the job.

mushy mushy


Topic: Husband caught by motherinlaw cheating
Subject: Husband caught by motherinlaw cheating - Posted: 4/25/2009 5:16:18 PM
littlewill wrote:
MY husband did work for my parents.  A little over a yr ago my mother walked in on my H & their assistant they were in the corner.  She asked what the heck is going on?  Of course they denied anything my stepdad called them in the office & the secretary said my H was making comments about her butt & he was trying to pull her shirt up.  He did not come home & tell me what happened my mom told me 2 weeks later.  However he had lunch with this lady, she was on a dating site I found.  2 months went by & I find a myspace account he had for 3 yrs.  I had not a clue he had one.  WE had problems with our teenagers over myspace & he acted like he didn‘t even know how to log in.   Then 3 more women came forward at work accusing him of sexual harassment. Oh after I found the myspace on his laptop he jerked it out of my hands ran out of the house with it never to be seen again.  I questioned the 3 other women I believe what they told me he was exposing himself to them. I found out this week a yr later one knew details of our sex life.  And I believe she was giving him oral sex.  I feel like the last yr I have about lost it.  We have a two yr old together.  I told him Monday to get out of my house. Sorry so long their are more deatils  but I could write a book. LW


change the locks.

Topic: strange addiction??
Subject: strange addiction?? - Posted: 4/26/2009 4:21:30 PM
foreversad wrote:

It‘s called co-dependency.

How‘s it feel being a door mat?

He‘s just not that into you. Get over him.




Topic: strange addiction??
Subject: strange addiction?? - Posted: 4/26/2009 4:22:39 PM
banana_buns wrote:
Has anyone ever been strangely addicted to a relationship? Or a man maybe? It doesn‘t seem to matter how fed up I am or how fed up he is. I just don‘t want to end it.
And he treats me like ****.
I woke up one day and I realized I don‘t feel like myself. I just don‘t recognize myself. This is NOT ME. I was never the kind of girl to put up with anyone‘s crap, let alone a boyfriend‘s.

But now I do. It‘s almost as if he broke me.

anyone who knows me would be surprised to know about the things i tolerate. It surprises ME sometimes. I don‘t know how this happened.

I don‘t have the support system I used to have. So if I lose him, I‘m alone. I‘m in the kind of situation where "beggar‘s cant be choosers." The loneliness is palpable. I just feel pathetic, and alone, and just broken. 


no contact, or NC. one day at a time, for 90 days.

 


Topic: Chat is Once Again Available!!
Subject: Chat is Once Again Available!! - Posted: 4/30/2009 6:01:36 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

Uh-oh...........I hope Lorrie can read the small print.

Thank you for getting chat back up!

 



i‘m in.

Topic: Chat Moderator
Subject: Chat Moderator - Posted: 5/1/2009 3:24:19 AM
i nominate shally.

Topic: Who‘s Trolling???
Subject: Who‘s Trolling??? - Posted: 5/4/2009 10:25:57 PM
Measle wrote:
Looking under tables is for losers.

That‘s why I glue mirrors to the tops of my shoes.

 


you have glue left?

Topic: will be moving again
Subject: will be moving again - Posted: 5/4/2009 10:26:45 PM
have you done much research on line?

Topic: My Brother Is Dying. I Need Prayers and Encouragement
Subject: My Brother Is Dying. I Need Prayers and Encouragement - Posted: 5/4/2009 10:29:35 PM

may god bless you and your family with the glory of his will.


Topic: Completely hearbroken
Subject: Completely hearbroken - Posted: 5/6/2009 4:49:43 AM
ddelotto wrote:

Hello,

i have dated my now ex for almost 3 years. We had a split of about 4 months about 1.5 years into our relationship. when we got back together we swore we fell even more in love with eachother than anybody possibly could. I moved in with him August 2008. I have recently moved out March 2009... so we literally lived together for 6 months.  We became distant and started fighting over just about everything small.  And For reasons i cant justify I decided to check his cell phone...and noticed he had been texting another girl. I approached him, and he explained to me that he does business with her and she is 11 years older than he is......and swore on everything and anything that there is nothing going on and that he would never do that to me. Needless to say the paranoia wheels began to turn. WE techinically broke up (even though i still lived there)

While he was away on a business trip (a week or so after the break up).....i cleaned house and carried on. Guess i hoped that if i carried on as normal, we woudl just fall back into being a couple. I was doing laundry one night, and grabbed his clothes out of his duffle bag and noticed a bag of tea light candles (some had been lit by the color of the wicks), a bottle of half empty wine and a reciept for the bottle of wine that was sold at a local restaurant (dated and time on it).  Thinking back, the same day the date of the wine, my boyfriend had told me that he was going to his parents lake house for the night. When i approched him with this evidence, he was away on business and was really upset that i was calling him when he needed to focus. He denied it thoroughly, and said i have no idea what i was talking about, and suggested that if i didnt trust him and thought he was lying, why woudlnt i have just done a drive by his parents house to prove to myself that he was there! While yelling at me over the phone, he ends the convo with "i dont need this right now" and hung up on me...and supposedly and convieniently drops his phone and it breaks while still away on his trip. So i pretty much couldn‘t reach him. So i sat there in his house festering in this black hole..feeling sick to my stomach and pacing like a caged lion, crying my eyes out Needless to say i completly freaked out and moved out . He finally disclosed to me about 3 weeks ago, that one of his clients had bought this bottle wine for him as a gift...and the candles had been thrown in his bag by accident (he used them one night that he lost power at home before i moved in with him) and claimed that they were always in the house.

I am very much hearbroken, i live at my parents house right now. I am trying to save enough $ to buy a house. I am trying to focus on me. However, on St. Patricks night (he had been drinking) he texts me saying how he loves me and misses me. when i emailed him the next day to ask why he did that.....he just simply said "oh i was drunk". So i asked him to stop contacting me and that it wasnt fair for him to do that to me while i am trying to get over him.

On Easter Sunday he sends me more text messages. Saying how he misses me and loves me and how he wanted to marry me. Talking about what he did wrong to me and what he wished for us. How we could have done things differently....blah, blah, blah. This went on for a span of literally 6 hours (all day). His final text messege he sent before i fell asleep was "I miss you and I love you".

I went into work the next morning to send him an email...asking him why he sent me messeges. Because i asked him not to do that to me again. He started talking about how I moved out while he was away on that business trip, and how i could have waited at for him to get home for an explanation of the evidence i found in his duffle bag! I end up telling him that if we are not going to talk to work things out, then i saw no need to have conversations for nothing, or to mislead me with loving text messeges. He got really upset with me. He proceeded to tell me that those text messeges were not misleading and he plainly only was havign a conversation with me!! He considered it to be a plain conversation!! Who in their right mind considers that to be a normal conversation??! Please tell me why he feels the need to torture me?? Its bad enough trying to grieve and pick up the pieces, but why cant he leave me alone?? Is it that he loves me and wants me, but is too ignorant and pride-ful to admit it to me directly?

I decided to end my emails asking him once an for all to leave me alone. I told him that i cannot move on from him if he is still in my life. and i dont want to wonder if I will recieve text messeges from him on the next holiday.

I think he is lying. I think there was another MO here. But he wont tell me what it is. This is completly out of character for him to do. If he is teh one that told me to move out and move on........why is he texting me now saying he loves me and misses me? Was he possibly bluffing to see if i woudl move out? Please Help! I cant decipher through all this garbage alone! Its all i think about while i am home or at work or trying to sleep. I second guess my decision to leave all the time. I feel so confused.  How do i know i made the right choice???????

 



ok sweetie, i applaud your efforts at moving on, keep up the good work.

he has someone else and he has had since he lied about the candles and breaking the cell phone.

whenever he and the new woman run in to trouble, he tries to lean on you.

pure and simple. he hits a bump in the road with her and he runs to you for re-assurance that he is not the pig he is.

go no contact, change your number and your email.

 


Topic: Completely hearbroken
Subject: Completely hearbroken - Posted: 5/6/2009 4:51:24 AM
dave1 wrote:
some one answer this question, me an my wife sepative for a year an a half , i told her i could not move on until i  had a dovorce, but now were trying to work it out, an she told me she seen a guy for a while,but no sex, an i believe that. but when i ask if she every kiss on the lips , she said no.she said the guy was a friend .an stop seeing him because he wanted the friendship sexual.that part i believe, myself i fought for a dovorce with her for a little over a year , she didnot want one. i had not seen any one in that time .so i donot believe she had sex but she may be lieing about the kissing not sure , she gets a little up set when i bring it up. maybe because i ask her 8 times an she went out with this guy 8 times in a year. just donot want to start this off with a lie.


what happened during the separation is none of your business. that‘s why she gets upset. it‘s because she is more polite then i am.

keep your nose out of it.


Topic: Need some help please
Subject: Need some help please - Posted: 5/6/2009 5:01:09 AM
thestupidwoman wrote:

The first time,2-3 years ago, the other woman sent a picture of both of them and my husband admitted he cheated.  The second time i found pictures of him and another women, i did not confront him, i kept quiet because i was pregnant with my 2nd child.  This is the third time, i have not seen pictures, but this other woman accurately stated everything about my husband and told me things only another woman would know about him.

It is very painful, the idea of keeping quiet and moving on and the idea of calling the lawyer is like angel and devil in my head. HELP--------



 

for now, don‘t have sex with him.

i would keep quiet. that‘s what i did. give them enough rope to hang themselves and time for you to get set up.

being a single mom with a busy hectic schedule is brutal but many woman before you have done it and find their feet in a matter of months.

you deserve the freedom of laying you head on your own pillow at night without fear. not having to worry about what that ****-heel is gonna do next will give you restful nights and energy to face whatever the future brings.

i would however, once you are ready, have him out if you own the place and get the divorce before he tries to claim he "put" you thru school and should share in your future earnings. or claims you have enough money not to "need" child support.

the child suport, even if it is not truly urgent, will go a long way towards daycare expenses of after school programs.

get back to me when he demands that "visitation" with the children should include his girlfriend.

oy vey.

 


Topic: nice guys
Subject: nice guys - Posted: 5/6/2009 5:43:47 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
Drew J wrote:
"So with your twisted logic you can only be afraid of something thats physically stronger than you??? Hmmmmm...explain arachnophobia then?"

That‘s one possible interpretation. The correct one is that I am afraid of anything that can do physical harm to me. Humans physically stronger than me fall into that category for sure. They would be one of several items in that category.


Sweetheart...a 5 year old child could do physical harm to you...with a gun in his hand for example...your not making any sense...


bubbles, i think drew missed this story back in kindergarten.

 

Aesop‘s Fables

 

One hot summer‘s day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the thing to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."

It is easy to despise what you cannot get.


Topic: being a good mommy
Subject: being a good mommy - Posted: 5/6/2009 6:46:07 PM

what does that mean to you?

i‘m wondering because of mother‘s day approaching and because i lost my mom. and as the time goes by, i look back to all she did and all she gave and wonder at the nature of mommy‘s, everyone.

and i was in the kitchen, longing for some of our favorite cereal when i discovered, there is only enough left for lucy‘s breakfast tomorrow....so being a good mommy i left it for her.

next???


Topic: being a good mommy
Subject: being a good mommy - Posted: 5/7/2009 4:17:11 AM
Measle wrote:
Maybe parenting boys is a bit different, but one of mine said that I was the best mother in the world after I had recently chased a teacher throughout the school for telling my kid "I don‘t want you around here anymore". 

*sigh*  Never a dull moment.

That teacher is really, REALLY nice to my boy now. 


was it like a "slow speed chase"?

Topic: This will make everybodys head spin
Subject: This will make everybodys head spin - Posted: 5/7/2009 4:23:08 AM
ddelotto wrote:

 he texted me that night. Telling me how he wished he could kiss me and make love to me. How he woudl hold me tight, etc...... turns out we ended up (what i have been told from other people) is called "sexting"...

  Once he is "finished", he usually calls me to say goodnight and to talk sweet to me. This has gone on for the past 2 nights. We flirt over email and text. Then we talk at night. But last night he started talking about how the hosue he lives in now is not a home anymore because its empty and he hates it.

 



off the top of my head, because its early here, i would say that if a man wants you, he comes by and has sex in the same room you are in.

he wants someone to ease his lonliness and self-loathing.

he won‘t change, you will only lose more time on this loser.


Topic: confused
Subject: confused - Posted: 5/11/2009 4:36:21 AM

to have and to hold,
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish;
from this day forward,
until death do us part.

and there to i pledge thee my trough.

she‘s married to you. she promised to consider your feelings and her level of disrepect in regards to your happiness is risking your childs future.

that said, for some reason she has turned away from you and towards him. in spite of knowing how it makes you feel.

either try to sit down together  and figure out how to turn towards each other again or call the lawyer and go for full custody.

and i have to ask: where does she get the time with a toddler in the house? maybe she needs a job.

 

 


Topic: He spit on me.
Subject: He spit on me. - Posted: 5/11/2009 6:49:34 AM
lovetheboys wrote:

Ok so I have had an appt. with the lawyer already in place for this friday.   Things have been getting worse.  Monday night when I was sleeping, he kicked me in a dead sleep and starting yelling at me a the top of his lungs. If you know me, you dont screw with me when I am alseep!  Not a morning person at all!    He proceeds to go off, because I am snoring to loud,   We get into a heated yelling match, and he stars spitting in my face and getting inche away from me.  

I get up in a rage and go down staris,  He follows me.  He continues to scream at me at the top of his lungs calling me a F-in Pig, on and on....I sit at my lap top the whole time reading a prayer a friend had just emailed me over and over again.  He yells for 1 hour, me not responding at all.   He tells me he is gonna stay home from work just to F with me all day.

Next day my 5 year old Son told me he herd the whole thing , and "did not get out of bed cuz it did not seem like a good idea"  (he is so smart)  He said " I herd Daddy call you a pig and alot of bad words"....(my heart sinks)

So Monday in pouring rain storm, I put my kids in the car and fingers crossed praying to God on a 2 lane highway 30miles away to the lawyer‘s office, so I can pay my retainer......Yeah I grew a pair...It can not go on.  I‘ve had it!  It hurt to write my check out from acrdiet card I already have to high of a balance on but I know I have to do it.  $3500 later!  I walk out get in the car cry my eye out and regroup! 

Now for the past week we have fought over getting my suv fixed it is 7 years old and need a few major repairs (breaks, tires, water pump, etc)  I tell him about the repairs,  He goes off how I drive around to much, I dont need to be leaving the house all the time, and how I have put to many miles on the car.   So I go ahead and have my girlfriends Husband look at the tires, he tells me they are really worn,  the dearlership I took it to for oil change says the same.   I go agansit him and get tires at wal mart and pay for them on a crdiet card I have.  I am thinking SCREW him I need to make sure the car is safe, I drive the kids around and take my Son to school.......The Dude at walmart says they were dry rotted!  I was freaked out...What if I would have had a blow out....In a SUV?   OMG  I am so glad I did it.  I dont care if I put more on the credit card, It had to be done...

He freaks when he sees the new tires.  "Who paid for that...I will not pay for any repairs"!   

Fat foward yesterday...I tell him I am going to have the breaks looked at by a friend who owns a shop...He goes off again....The conversation goes on about how I dont ask him anything,,I think I am in charge of his life and on and on. An all day conversation......untill he starts the self pitty seromon,  How he needs to be loved.   I love myself more than I love him, and he loves me more than he loves himself.  Says he has done alot to me that he is not proud off, and he does not mean anything he has said to Me (ie, calling me pig, Cu$^,Bitch lazy pig, fat) Also told me he thinks of killing hisself.   Then out of no where wants to have sex?  huh?  What ?  I try not to totaly hurt his man hood, and not really respond, start comming up with excuses like the kids are awake still, anything I can think of.

I forgot to add he gave me a break down of options..

1. blow his brains out

2. Get a divorce and have his kids call some on eles Daddy.

3.  Work on it.

He says he picks 3...

I have been at this 10 years,  It is not going to change...Him or me.  I see option 2!  with out the guilt!

Bed time last night...of course he is not going to give up...Comes by me pats me on the butt and winks and nods to the stairs..like he wants me to come up and pleasure him.

I tell him then ...."24 hours ago you spit in my face and called me a fat f-in pig, I can not do this to myself".  He goes upstairs with head down and says" we only have sex when you decide".  I wait an hour or so and and go to bed thinking he is alseep......NO!   He proceeds to tell me how he is going to leave, but has no where to go.  There is nothing here for him anymore.  He should just kill his self at least I get his pension.  I know this is just a game.  I am not navie to this..

I do give in....just to shut him up so I can get some sleep.  The whole time thinking,  two things.  I feel bad that I have already started the divorce and he does not know, and that I lett myself get into this!  I come out with the thought it is just to get me through!   I still must move forward...and  I will!

If you have read all this....WOW  and thank you.

I see this as being the CLASIC ABUSE CYCLE.  Any thoughts? 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 



okay, i am not a doctor but i have to say, he is crazy. ****-house rat, insane.

i can‘t begin to venture what kind of mental health threapy he needs, but if i got to vote, i‘d say they should lock him up and sedate him with elephant tranquilizers, just for starters.

get yourself and you family away from him.

tell your attorney you want to circumvent the laws that stipulate he has a right to know the address and telephone number of the house his children reside in. see that you lawyer helps you keep safe.

he will not let you go unharmed. face the threat he poses to you and see to your safety.

move.

 


Topic: New Developments
Subject: New Developments - Posted: 5/12/2009 3:32:37 AM
Rhiannon wrote:

Thank you, Miss Luvly! 

It is very nice to be this happy.  My children have always been the most important thing in my life, and it means everything to me to see them happy and doing well.  Whatever I have been through in terms of a crappy marriage and horrible divorce, they were worth everything!  It‘s really nice to be able to enjoy them as adults!  And a new baby...well, my cup runneth over!  



ah rhi, a blessing for your family. and now that you have the time, energy and finances to enjoy it, life just got a lot more fun.

 

 


Topic: The Little Frenchman
Subject: The Little Frenchman - Posted: 5/12/2009 3:41:06 AM

he‘s too dumb to work the delet button??

delete him from your life. you said you only wanted "the physical", that‘s over, move on.


Topic: Every weekend it is STILL DRAMA
Subject: Every weekend it is STILL DRAMA - Posted: 5/14/2009 4:20:52 AM
Miss Luvly1 wrote:
AAARGh!

The order of protection is still on.  So why doesn‘t he wise up and be a nice guy?  Cause he is hell bent on trying to make my life as bad as it was when we were together. 

Our order states that we are to meet at the McDonald‘s parking lot and exchange.  He has yelled at me while exchanging the kids.  Once I was working a fundraiser at the church.  I emailed him and asked him to wait in the church parking lot.  Instead he came into the church, and into the kitchen where I was working and then started whining to anyone who would listen on how he didn‘t have enough visitation.  We are to talk to each other through email or text only. I can‘t even stand this anymore! 

I should have said something right then and there in front of everyone about how there was an order of protection and he wasn‘t supposed to be in there.

Every weekend there is drama with him.  Every week.  I just can‘t get away from him no matter what I do. 

Here is what I emailed him thinking that this would make him happy since he is always bitching about not getting enough visitation.:  BTW Today the kids told me that when they go to dad‘s apartment he takes them upstairs to the neighbors and he goes downstairs to his apartment and watches TV.

Brady‘s 6th birthday is this Friday .  I would like to have him here on Thursday and have his party a day early.  You then could take him for Friday and Saturday.  This way you will have Brady for his birthday.  You also then get extra time.

I would like to at least be able to get a along for the children’s sake.  I don’t want to have to go through all this drama just for a simple exchange.  I am asking you to at least go to divorce counseling so that you can see what this is doing to our kids.  Hopefully we can get along well enough to have a simple conversation about what is best for them.  As well as be accommodating enough to help each other raise them.

I would also appreciate it if you would stop saying bad things and lies about me to the kids.  They repeat it back to me.  They have said that you tell them that you don’t love me.  That’s fine, they just don’t need to hear it.  They have also said that I yelled at you. Oh and a beautiful one was Brady spouts off to Vivica “We know who the real victim is here”.  That is not something a 6 year old child comes up with.  It is not something I have said.

 We both know the truth here.  The point is to stop what you are doing to them. This is just like when Brady was calling Vivica a bitch.  He heard it from you and now he thinks this is the way to treat girls.  You have already hurt me enough.  Stop trying to do it through the kids.  You can’t hurt me anymore.  You are just hurting them. 

I try my best to just laugh it off and change the subject.  So that our kids don’t have to sit and be sad because you want them to be.

We can go through an exchange center if you do not want to go to counseling. 


DumbLazyBastards Response:


The Protection Order prevents me from contacting you (even through a 3rd party like a counselor) except for the purposes of arranging parenting time with Brady and Vivica. No matter how many times you attempt to engage me in conversation, offer to go to counseling, or try to goad me to anger, I can not communicate with you because I GO TO JAIL IF I DO. Please direct all further conversation attempts through your attorney as he understands what "No Contact" means.
 
Now, for things I can talk about. A point Mr. Boyd made in the request for continuance stated that we would use an exchange center or some other mutually acceptable location. Given our drastically different interpretations of our interactions, I no longer find any location besides an exchange center safe or acceptable. I am forced to continue picking Brady and Vivica up at McDonald‘s or what ever location you suddenly decide, but it is NOT accepted by choice. I have contacted the exchange center and given them your phone number. Please make your arrangements with them as soon as possible.
 
Your changes to the schedule do not include any times. I wold love to have the kids more! But without times, I can‘t simply agree off hand. You consistently refused to give me the kids on Fridays that I asked for them, and you blatantly blew off your schedule for Vivica‘s birthday. Since it appeared to be a safe assumption that I would not get to see Brady on his birthday, I made plans. If, like the last time you gave me the kids on a Friday, you have to work and need a schedule change because of that, I will make it work.  I can and will continue to make accomodations for your schedule changes. Please tell me what time I can pick the kids up so I can adjust my schedule accordingly.


When he refers to Vivica‘s birthday he is talking about being pissed off because I threw her a party on her birthday and then offered him an extra day the next day.  He HAD NO PLANS OR EVEN A CAKE FOR HER.


So since he made such a big fuss over this I decide not to get so excited and I just responded:


I will call the exchange center.  We will stick to the schedule.  I was trying to be nice for the sake of our children. 

After today contact the exchange center.



DumbLazyBastards response:


So you are yet again reneging just hours after offering a schedule change like the time you said they could stay overnight? To be clear, I am to pick up Blaise and Vivien on Thursday after I‘ve already told them they would be spending the night on Friday and we could go to Chuck E. Cheese? I just want to make sure to document all the times you have switched my times with Blaise and Vivien only to go back on your word in the very next email.
 
If you really want to be nice for the sake of our kids, you would allow them to do more than come to my house for dinner twice a week and quit treating me like a babysitter. As I said, I will gladly take the kids when you have to work, but simply "allowing" me to "babysit" my kids when you have to work is not being "nice" or "accomodating". If you want to be nice and get along for the sake of the kids, start by setting a reasonable parenting schedule instead of forcing me to go to court to get one. We‘re both wasting money that neither of us have simply because you refuse to allow me reasonable access to my children.

DLB has visitation two days a week for 4 hours and every other weekend..<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->  So what is the problem here?


My response:


<!--[endif]-->

You sent me an email complaining about it.  If this is what you wanted then why be that way?   Either way leaves you pissed off? 

  I don’t need a sitter.  I have one.  I just wanted to be able to give Brady a party. If he got two parties and you did something with him that would be wonderful.  I can’t give him one on Friday because I do have to work.  Since you decided that you “had plans”,  I just got done telling one of his friend’s mom that we would have to reschedule his party until Sunday.

“Since it appeared to be a safe assumption that I would not get to see Brady on his birthday, I made plans. “

So now that I have went back to the original schedule to accommodate you.  You are also upset about this.  What is it that you want?



I am so sick of being run around with complete bull****.  HeLP!  How does anyone deal with this ****?  I can‘t take anymore!  If you have read all of this, thanks! 


Malarkie Marie,  tell me the **** girl.  Do we have a secret organization that can give this man the frontal lobotomy that I so need him to get?


He has always argued with this air of superiority and I ****ing hate him. 






stop the bull****.

either go thru the exchange center of go to mc donalds. and if the holiday/birthday ain‘t your day, tough ****, it‘s his day and it‘s spelled out.

he is making himself appear very very civil and calm while keeping a record of his act. you look incapable of tying your own shoes. plus, does he have a girlfriend??

keep to the schedule. write it in stone. that way no one has to talk to each other at all.

if xmas is on his day, or thanksgiving, suck it up and wait till its not.

get it done.

if he gets out of line, go and request the "parenting children of divorce" classes, they are mandatory in this state, for both parents, and must be completed before the final decree.

 

 

 


Topic: The FNG Fun New Guy
Subject: The FNG Fun New Guy - Posted: 5/20/2009 4:00:18 AM
Friends With Benefits.

Topic: At last..........
Subject: At last.......... - Posted: 5/20/2009 4:01:43 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
Hmmm, they just started selling jergens over here...so busty, elaborate please!

How long does it take to dry?

I sue Ambre Solaire gel...I love the colour it gives and it goes on evenly, last ages and smells great...the only negative is that I have to stand around for about and hour for it to dry....and its not good to stand around naked in your bedroom for an hour in Ireland...not warm enough! and you can‘t even lean your butt against something (my room is all white, so orange butt-shaped marks on the walls????).

So...tell me more!

BC.


bubbles, what if you use the blow dryer to speed things up?

Topic: Looks like the power is out in the basement
Subject: Looks like the power is out in the basement - Posted: 5/24/2009 2:37:32 AM

hello the house!! i‘m fine, i talked to eves the other day. she‘s fine.

i pop in here now and then but the website "hangs" and really, its very slow.

i‘ll come by chat tonight, sunday, and see if we can catch up.

otherwise its work and the crush. oh, and i‘m moving the end of the month. i found a bigger place for the same money.

 


Topic: Sarasota sign in please....
Subject: Sarasota sign in please.... - Posted: 6/4/2009 6:42:01 AM
Fifi Larue wrote:
MrTrueBlue wrote:
So am I the only one that is glad to see someone that sleeps with other women‘s husbands, and cheats on her own husband gone from this site?


Are things that bad around here that you had to bump a thread from January?

You desperately need to get laid, Mr Blue Balls.



i think that they had a lot of trolls in here spamming the boards and posting PI so they went and bumped what they could. 
not like the mods are working full time anymore. cut backs you know.

if you see sarasota, give her my best. ask her to stop by, my door is always open.

in the meantime, i am glad to see that mtb‘s hobby is paying off. riding the world of illicit sex, one woman at a time.



Topic: hey ya‘ll
Subject: hey ya‘ll - Posted: 6/5/2009 4:08:59 AM

smoochies sweetie. fight the good fight.

 

xoxo


Topic: Sarasota sign in please....
Subject: Sarasota sign in please.... - Posted: 6/6/2009 4:21:57 PM
MrTrueBlue wrote:
malarkey marie wrote:



i think that they had a lot of trolls in here spamming the boards and posting PI so they went and bumped what they could. 

calling me a troll? 

I think I was here before sarasota, and here long after.

 

if you see sarasota, give her my best. ask her to stop by, my door is always open.

ya, just make sure your husband/bf isn‘t on the other side of that door.  Sara isn‘t impartial to cheating and man stealing.


in the meantime, i am glad to see that mtb‘s hobby is paying off. riding the world of illicit sex, one woman at a time.

huh?  I didn‘t know longing for a committment to a decent woman is riding the world of illicit sex....oh well.



blue, i was not talking to you in my post until i said your name. deal with it.

 

and, as for sara, blue, it‘s the internet. we‘ve never met. and futher if my bf or any other man nearby me, wants a woman, other then me, i say: seee yaaa!.


Topic: Sarasota sign in please....
Subject: Sarasota sign in please.... - Posted: 6/6/2009 4:24:13 PM
billfisher wrote:
All of the above.  She‘s like the grandma of all hos.  


okay then that makes you the granddaddy of all ho‘s.

 

go soak your dentures sir.


Topic: Long marriage over - Help!
Subject: Long marriage over - Help! - Posted: 6/7/2009 2:44:51 AM

most states have a website giving the guide lines for a divorce. surf around and find out the basics, study up, because this is gonna be a war.

keep your eye on the money. period.

make sure he can not move/take any money without your knowledge and make sure all the bills are being paid. block him from putting the house up as colatoral or taking line of credits on it.

get off any credit cards or loans you have with him and be prepared to not only sell your house and move but share 50/50 with him.

i doubt you will have to give him alimony or spousal support because your child is almost of age and most courts will only allow the ex to collect for a max of two years. some courts order the ex to make an effort at schooling or retraining. the gravy train ride doesn‘t last forever and your freedom is worth the price.

get going, action, motion and the feeling of being in charge is a sure cure for depression.


Topic: Lost
Subject: Lost - Posted: 6/7/2009 1:20:42 PM
oldiebutgoodie wrote:

Oldiebutgoodie has been around for a long time. These women are ALL quilty of spreading personal information throughout the internet. They try to keep themselves on a high pedestal to make themselves look good. Well your not fooling anyone. Stop your hypocrisy. You have tried your hardest to hurt women who have came here because they were hurt by a man.  You have displayed more that SS#‘s. You are quilty and you know who you are. You are despicable women who have hurt other women. Stop. This is the internet. This is an internet fourm. All you women-bashing-women need to get an outside-of-the-internet life.

Once again, you know who you are and so do we. Each week we see less and less of the women who have demolished this site. It‘s obvious the site owner and even the moderator don‘t care much about this site anymore.

Of those who respond to this, that will be all the proof we need that YOU are one of the quilty.

Now...lets see who responds.



pwned-funny2.jpg pwned-funny2 image by dotsofcolor

Topic: Cheating at High School Reunion
Subject: Cheating at High School Reunion - Posted: 6/8/2009 7:55:30 AM
beckymelon wrote:
Here is an update on the boyfriend cheating at his high school reunion.  He came home with all his viagra.  None was missing.  But also when I was cleaning his suitcase I found astroglide.  I know for a fact that he did not have this in his suitcase two weeks ago when we went to boston.  I am sick over this.  I just know that he has already cheated on me or he is preparing  to cheat.  But he comes home all happy that we are getting married in a few weeks. I have put no preasure on him to marry me.  We are both in our sixty‘s.  I gave up a sucure life for this man.  He knew I was married but he would not give up.  And finally I gave in.  We do have a lot of fun together, we travel a lot.  He has taken me places that I would have never been able to afford in my other life.  He has bought me stuff.  He has put my name on his bank accounts and I am in his will.  But in my heart I can not shake this feeling that he is going to cheat.  What is wrong with this man?  I know what is wrong with me I am stupid. 


damn bitch, please. all this drama because he forgot to put a bow on your astro glide?

just bend over.

 

christ.


Topic: Need Proof
Subject: Need Proof - Posted: 6/8/2009 7:57:34 AM

first, drug him with something harmless.

take the phone and everything valuable and load it in the best car in the driveway. extra points if you remember to check the gas gauge.

then leave.


Topic: Finding hidden email accounts or cell phones ?
Subject: Finding hidden email accounts or cell phones ? - Posted: 6/9/2009 6:31:17 AM

 

there is no way for you to be prepared for what you may find, i will tell you it is similar to being kicked by a mule. right in the guts, just at the edge of your heart.

 


Topic: Prayers needed desperately...
Subject: Prayers needed desperately... - Posted: 6/10/2009 1:23:25 PM
dear god, thy will be done. as soon as possible please. 

Topic: Prayers needed desperately...
Subject: Prayers needed desperately... - Posted: 6/13/2009 1:05:54 PM

 i don‘t think you have enough energy in your body to hate anyone dee dee. and sometimes i think that people perceive a forgiving person as weak. i disagree. it‘s going to take all your strenght and hers to get this mom back to her children.

in the meantime, clearly her family ain‘t wrapped too tight so who‘s looking after your grandkids?

 i think it better be your family, just in case.


Topic: marry the mistress?
Subject: marry the mistress? - Posted: 6/26/2009 4:54:37 AM

 love triangles collapse when one of you decides to remove yourself from the situation. all the drama and thrill of lying and cheating will disapate once they no longer have you around as a witness.

while he is occupied elsewhere you should get busy insuring that your physical and financial health are safe-guarded.

get a good doctor and a better lawyer and get busy making sure all he takes over to his love nest is his love, which as we all can see, is worth less then his pension, paycheck, children and savings.

don‘t get mad, get it all.

good luck.

 


Topic: ADVICE on Call I want to make Please
Subject: ADVICE on Call I want to make Please - Posted: 7/9/2009 3:24:24 PM
kaylar wrote:
If these are diff. numbers and diff. names, I wouldn‘t touch it.

It could be perfectly harmless.  It could be diff. women...some in their 60s who may have called for a cab...who may have left something in a cab...

if it is the same woman more than once...okay.  


i agree. the man that sold me my computer gave me his cell number with instructions to call him while i was setting it up, if i ran into trouble. which i did. the call lasted maybe 4 mins.

sure enough, his "woman" called me to give me some **** about him being "her man".

i told her she had the wrong number.


Topic: Round 2 with ex and the ex clan
Subject: Round 2 with ex and the ex clan - Posted: 7/10/2009 3:47:58 AM
try calling the "bar association" for your state. tell them about your lawyer‘s actions and ask them what recourse you have.
if you need the money then file against your ex. i believe you can do this yourself by going to family court. you would pay to have him served to show cause why he is not obeying a lawful order.
right before the new court date, try to negotiate with him to get him current. just say "can‘t we solve this between us"?

Topic: may the rest in peace
Subject: may the rest in peace - Posted: 7/10/2009 4:04:09 AM
unshot residue was found on the left hand of 20-year-old Sahel Kazemi, girlfriend of slain ex-NFL quarterback Steve McNair.

NFL great Steve McNair‘s suicidal mistress, who believed the married retired quarterback had a second girlfriend, shot him dead as he slept on a sofa, police said Wednesday.

Sahel Kazemi, 20, had been "spinning out of control" in the days leading up to Saturday‘s shocking murder-suicide in her Nashville condo, cops said.

"The police department has concluded that Steve McNair was murdered by Sahel Kazemi and that, in turn, Sahel Kazemi killed herself with a single gunshot wound to her head," said Nashville Police Chief Ronal Serpas. "The totality of the evidence clearly points to a murder-suicide."

Serpas said the findings were based on the appearance of the crime scene, evidence collected, autopsy findings and laboratory results. He said he broke the news to the widow of the former Tennessee Titan‘s quarterback, Mechelle, before going public.

"We believe now, at this time, that McNair was seated on the sofa and likely was asleep," Serpas said.

"And we believe that Kazemi shot him in the right temple, then shot him twice in the chest and then shot him a final time in the left temple."

The chief said Kazemi sat down on the sofa next to the 36-year-old McNair and shot herself once in the right temple.

All five shell casings littering the crime scene matched the weapon that Kazemi purchased on Thursday and was discovered beneath her slumped over body, Serpas said.

Gunshot residue was found on Kazemi‘s left hand. None was discovered on McNair‘s hands, bolstering the case‘s conclusions, said Serpas.

"Because there‘s a lack of any evidence of a struggle or defensive wounds to McNair, his physical position on the sofa, the trajectory of the bullets and the wound pattern we still believe it was likely that Kazemi shot Mr. McNair and he didn‘t know," Serpas said.

In the five days leading up to her violent explosion, Kazemi had been stressed out about having to make payments on two cars, including a Cadillac Escalade she had bought with McNair, Serpas said.

Her roommate had recently announced that she was moving out and Kazemi, a waitress at a Dave and Buster‘s sports bar in Nashville, feared her rent would double.

Compounding her anxieties was an increasing suspicion that she was not McNair‘s only mistress.

"She believed McNair was involved with another woman and that, too, participated in her state of mind, we think," said Serpas.


Topic: Michael Jackson is Dead!
Subject: Michael Jackson is Dead! - Posted: 7/10/2009 1:19:28 PM
notsoFAST wrote:

All I know is that if my child had been molested, NO amount of money would buy back their dignity and innocence lost at the hands of a molester, pedophile, abuser.  The child would be damaged forever no matter how much therapy or support they received.  If Evan Chandler really cared about his son‘s well-being he would have fought tooth and nail to make sure MJ would have been put behind bars a long time ago to prevent the same thing from happening to another child and not accepted a $22 million dollar settlement.

 

 

  

 

 

   

 



amen fast. but you have to wonder, aside from blaming the victim and their parents for selling out @ 20 million, what about the 6 laptops found when the sheriff raided neverland? they say they were loaded with kiddie porn.

he was a talented mixed up freak and i happen to believe that he was "interested" in  boys, hence the way his own children were conceived.
how much weirder can one man/boy get??

god rest him.

Topic: may the rest in peace
Subject: may the rest in peace - Posted: 7/10/2009 1:23:05 PM
i guess in order to be a "mistress" you have to have some money in the bank?

no wonder he was asleep on the sofa in broad daylight, they found an OOW for god‘s sake.

i have to say, if he was after any 20 year old child of mine, i‘d put a bullet in his liver myself.

i understand that there is no record of either of the mc nair‘s filing for divorce.

guess he lied.

Topic: Stunned
Subject: Stunned - Posted: 7/19/2009 7:50:21 AM
sunny fl wrote:
righteousindignation wrote:
OR he‘s been keeping a lot of stuff to himself to avoid the fighting and it‘s festered into a ton of resentment he doesn‘t know how to get rid of.  A mountain of tiny ignored annoyances can be as devastating to a marriage as one giant mistake.

Sure, I agree there‘s more to the story... no one just one day gets the idea to leave... it builds... but there are many possibilities... and another woman is but one.


Most men will put up with alot  so that they don‘t have to be alone. (women too)

I am willing to bet,  there is somebody else!

I hope I am wrong,  its much easier to get over,  the asshole wants to leave me.  then it is  the asshole cheated on me and left me for some flaming hussy.



my ex told me the same thing. "i love you, BUT, i‘m not in love with you anymore".

translation: they love someone else.


Topic: I was tow. How do I clear the karma?
Subject: I was tow. How do I clear the karma? - Posted: 7/29/2009 6:21:42 AM

Topic: My exciting day!
Subject: My exciting day! - Posted: 8/29/2009 2:27:38 AM
Boo!

Topic: My exciting day!
Subject: My exciting day! - Posted: 8/29/2009 4:54:57 PM
supermom21664 wrote:
malarkey marie wrote:
Boo!


Damn! You scared me. Whats up with the hair???


i‘m growing it out. 

everyone alright?

eves. pm for you.

busty? you‘re the bomb!

Topic: Was Malarkey here???
Subject: Was Malarkey here??? - Posted: 9/3/2009 5:58:33 AM
StephanieG wrote:
I always for some reason read Lorrie‘s new name as ‘ mucky Mary‘.




wow. you sure have made a study of little ole me. in any case, i adore the name mucky. thanks!

 

 


Topic: Was Malarkey here???
Subject: Was Malarkey here??? - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:01:32 AM

 

i hope to get on more now that school‘s back in session.

i hear from m.e. and momo almost every day and i put a call in to eves about once a week.

its you miss busty that‘s gone missing.

 


Topic: Was Malarkey here???
Subject: Was Malarkey here??? - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:05:03 AM
StephanieG wrote:
I have always wondered why Busty and Lorrie are so close.  I remember when they first came here, they were DaGuru‘s left and right arms.




you, my dim witted friend, are either a heartless bitch or a man.

uuuhhh let‘s see moron, we all met on ws, years ago. the website for infedelity and abuse...hello?

and if you knew dag, as you have longed to do. without success. you would know that dag don‘t need no sticking help.

piss off.


Topic: ****TORTURE!!!*****
Subject: ****TORTURE!!!***** - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:10:41 AM

you know, i wasn‘t going to answer you, as i‘m a guest on your flimsy website, but....

get real stephanie! if you really think the woman on your own website are gonna waste money on anything free range, besides there husbands, get a clue!!

most of us are buying in bulk, with coupons and the only time my kid gets meat is at the drive thur.

i don‘t eat it, or cook it and even if i did its too ****ing expensive, let alone free range, hormone and pesticide free.

do me a favor and send betty crocker an email and ask them to make "hamburger helper" up to your standards.

lmao.


Topic: ****TORTURE!!!*****
Subject: ****TORTURE!!!***** - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:15:33 AM
bubblecropper wrote:

I don‘t eat meat...I suppose I should also cut out dairy, but finding it difficult.

I hate reading stories like this they make me feel terribly upset.



i still eat pork. ham, sausages, sometimes bacon. about 6 to 8 ounces a week. hasn‘t done a damn thing for my knee.

as for dairy, the saying goes, low fat dairy after 50.


Topic: ****TORTURE!!!*****
Subject: ****TORTURE!!!***** - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:19:51 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
StephanieG wrote:
‘I don‘t eat meat‘

 That is why your knees as in such bad shape Bubble.




...the only thing I miss is fish, thats the last thing I gave up, 3 weeks ago to be exact...hard!!

I have to be careful with my energy levels...I make up the protein with quinoa and I also find wheatgrass shots are great for my immune system and energy.

I don‘t go around shouting "meat is murder" outside KFC or anything like that! To each his own.



 

you gave up fish, for what reason?

 you enjoy it, or you did, enough to miss it terribly, why not continue to eat it?

quiona and wheat grass sounds like stuff we put in our plants.


Topic: Need advice.
Subject: Need advice. - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:23:07 AM

I don’t even know if I want him to come home. I am glad for nights like tonight when he’s gone and I have the house to myself once the boys are in bed. I can sit and watch tv without comments being made.

begining of the end.

 

 


Topic: Grandaughter!
Subject: Grandaughter! - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:31:14 AM

congrats, you lucky duck!

 


Topic: Thoughts on wifes involvement with another man
Subject: Thoughts on wifes involvement with another man - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:41:09 AM
AdamDH wrote:
Hi everyone.  I am in the midst of dealing with my wife‘s‘ involvement with another man and I would like some feedback.  I‘d say that my jealousy might be clouding my judgment so I am seeking some outside feedback.

For about two years my wife has been emailing on old male friend of hers.  Emails are pretty much daily, and approximately 4 or 5 a day.  My wife is a stay at home mom and I understand that she requires some sort of human interaction during the day.  The guy she is emailing, emails from his work.

I have confronted her about the frequency at which she emails this guy.  Basically just asking her how often.  She at first said without thinking "pretty much every day"  and then proceeded to back track on her statement and said "really maybe once a week".  This obviously raised a red flag.  I told her I was uncomfortable with her emailing another man daily, and this led to her becoming very defensive and claiming he was a like a brother.  Except I‘m pretty sure she doesn‘t talk to her real brothers every day. 

Every 6 months or so, she‘ll go out to lunch with this guy.

I have expressed interest in going out with this guy and his wife on a couples night out or something so that I can meet him, but she has not even tried to arrange anything.

Tonight my wife has decided to go to a happy hour alone with this guy.  I saw her last night trying on different outfits to wear when she goes out tonight.  I was not happy.  The plan is when I get home from work, she is going to leave immediately to meet this guy for drinks and probably dinner.  I‘ll stay home with the kids. 

To me this thing looks like a straight up date.  Out for dinner and drinks alone with this guy.  She defends it by saying they are old friends and that they never have a chance to catch up when other people are around.  The desire to be alone with this guy made me angry.

I have discussed my concerns calmly with her and she states this is a strictly platonic relationship.  I am 99% sure nothing has ever happened between them, but I do know she has a crush on him and I do know they exchange flirtatious emails every now and then. 

As far as my relationship with my wife is concerned, things could be better.  I help out with the kids immediately when I get home from work.  Basically tell her to relax and I‘ll take it from here.  She is not very affectionate with me.  I‘d say I‘m the instigator of most of the affection in the relationship.  If I stop the hugs, the cuddling, etc. it just doesn‘t happen at all.   

Sex is not all that frequent.  Maybe once a month.  I think this is fairly typical for a married couple with 2 young kids.  She says she is tired all the time and that the kids take a lot out of her.  I understand completely and don‘t push the issue. 

I currently feel like a doormat here.  Any effort to discuss my concerns with my wife is pretty much useless.  When I try she gets completely defensive before I even say much of anything.  The bottom line in her mind is that she is allowed to have male friends (I‘m fine with that) and that she is allowed to interact with her male friends every once in a while and that she is doing nothing wrong.

Okay, so I would appreciate some thoughts on this.  I‘d bet this is a fairly common post.  I can elaborate as much as you like.

Thanks,
Adam








she‘s tired. tired of her life and as sweet as you are or say you are, tired of you.

for this "friend" she‘s got energy. find out why and what she‘s doing with it.

she might not even realize that she‘s asking for trouble being alone over drinks with a man she‘s not married to.

i‘m certain you understand that men and woman can be friends, tho in my book it‘s rare. the man not trying to get over on a woman. let alone one that drinks with him.

but, she‘s entitled to go out once a week, where ever she pleases, within reason, and YOU can watch the kids, in spite of anyting true blue tells you to the contrary,


Topic: wife
Subject: wife - Posted: 9/3/2009 6:56:41 AM
Drew J wrote:
You, her and other women fit the profile I have described and talked about. Double standards. Cheating is always the man‘s fault - which is why husbands shouldn‘t seek divorce lawyers but rather counselling (if it wasn‘t their fault, they wouldn‘t go to counselling - they certainly shouldn‘t go to hear her bull**** ‘you didn‘t show me enough love‘) whereas women are encouraged to get divorces and get money as payback for being cheated upon.


stick to the topic drew, i‘m ashamed of you.

you should have told the op:

a.  get to the doctor for aids/std/hiv tests, pronto.

b.  wear a condom!

c. if his darling wife asks him why he insists on wearing a condom he should go ahead and TELL HER!


Topic: What would you do?
Subject: What would you do? - Posted: 9/3/2009 7:09:43 AM
truth_hurts wrote:

Thanks for your replies ladies.  Yes I am still with my husband.  We are trying to repair our marriage. 

I know everyone says living well and ignoring her is the best revenge but I still feel the need to make her pay.

She walks around as if she did nothng wrong and that I‘m so stupid to stay with him.  Well isn‘t she the one who wanted him soo badly that she was willing to be available for 15 minutes here and there? 

I can‘t believe that she felt the need to move 2 miles away from us.  She used to live 25 miles away.  She is just trying to get to me and it is working.  She knew she would be running into me.  She knows the stores I like to go to.

I really want her to lose her job so she can go back to her Aunt‘s house 25 miles away or back to the state she came from. 

Thanks for listening.



change stores. don‘t let her in your life.

you focus on your own life and YOUR husband. she‘s a piece of **** on the street. scrap that bitch off and move on.

never talk to them or think about them. it brings them into your life. which they love.

move forward. best of luck.


Topic: Was Malarkey here???
Subject: Was Malarkey here??? - Posted: 9/3/2009 7:15:02 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:
malarkey marie wrote:

 

 

 

its you miss busty that‘s gone missing.

 



I admit I have been swallowed into the 8-5 working abyss.   Now they have me working the modifications and REO‘s as well as the foreclosures and bankruptcies.  I feel sucked dry when I get home.

The bright side is I get to go see my step grandbaby tomorrow and take Boo to Sea World.  A trip to Texas starts Friday.  This time we are not driving so no chance of getting hit by a semi truck!  Also H and I are celebrating our 13th anniversary Sunday.  Who would have thought??  And I am still kicking him!  Just not every day and not soo hard.  LOL

 



are you gonna try to meet some of the ws members while you‘re in texas?

 lucy met a peneguin while she was at seaworld. you have to ask and pay more but sometimes you can arrange a "backstage pass".

have fun darlin, you deserve it.


Topic: children who witness abuse--- can you help me!!!
Subject: children who witness abuse--- can you help me!!! - Posted: 9/4/2009 1:47:21 PM

please make sure that the children understand that it is not their fault. i blamed myself for the break-up of my parents marriage.

he was an insecure drunk. jealous of any attention my mother rec‘d. from anyone, whether she returned the attention or ignored it.

it‘s not my fathers fault that he suffered from a hereditary disease but it is his fault that he drank to exsess frequently leaving his children to fend for them selves, without love affection or money.

i intenalized the arguments and violence as my due because i was just a kid and did not come straight home from school to be a mother to my sibs. while my own mother worked, i was supposed to babysit the younger sibs and feed them, wash them and see over their homework, at age 11.

if i had been a better, more mindful child daddy would not have had to drink and become violent.

let them know that it is not their fault.

and please let them know they have choices in how they deal with and overcome their lousy starts in life. 


Topic: what now?
Subject: what now? - Posted: 9/7/2009 8:31:55 AM
Measle wrote:
Hell, you‘ve got her phone number, why don‘t YOU call her up and ask her if you could "help" relieve some of that built up tension?





 


like cracking her walnut?


Topic: It‘s almost 3 years - now he is ‘hitting‘ on me again...
Subject: It‘s almost 3 years - now he is ‘hitting‘ on me again... - Posted: 9/7/2009 8:39:09 AM
notanymore wrote:

 

Now, after all these years we have moved on and I start getting texts from him wanting to know do I still love him and can he come over...

 

 

 



forward all texts that he sends you to HER.

if he gets pissy, tell him OOPS.

 

 


Topic: lost wife
Subject: lost wife - Posted: 9/7/2009 8:44:03 AM
squirrelbuttdc wrote:

My first visit to this forum and it looks like a safe play to vent and seek advice.

I have been married eleven years and have endured eleven years of online cheating by my husband.  He looks at male porn, female porn and just plain nasty porn.  Now its not like I am a prude and I have no problem with him looking at porn as long as we look at it together.  Instead he creates hotmail accounts and sends and received chat porn with others.  Sometimes he is a girl and sometimes he is a guy.  We have talked, fought and I have threatened to leave him.  he always apologizes and says he will stop.  Today, again I went to log onto our joint email account and his log in ID was left behind from his last vist.  Again, a new email account.  I am so tired of fighting this fight.  Other than this he is a sweet guy, never abuses me, holds down a job and is a regular guy.  I just don‘t know what to do.  i suggested counselling and he won‘t go becuase it is a small town and everyone knows everyone.  Your thoughts? I really need an outside prospective on this.

Thanks in advance for any feedback



get your eyes examined eyedoc. she left. she took the kids and all the money.

 

poor steve.


Topic: hey everyone!
Subject: hey everyone! - Posted: 10/22/2009 6:15:43 AM
not pissed wrote:

Please keep me in your prayers; I just wanted to let you know I am expecting a little one



oh, a new bundle of joy. you‘re so lucky. congrats to you both.


Topic: Geography of a woman
Subject: Geography of a woman - Posted: 10/22/2009 6:21:13 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:
supermom21664 wrote:
Busty,where do you find these?


Funny you ask.  I actually got this off a gun forum my H frequents.  So I guess I got it by using my Pandora!! 


happy halloweenie busty.

the weather here is glorious. everyone is well. lucy is practicing a salsa dance so she can make a field trip with the band. she and her friends just got back from universal fright night which she said was very very scary.

all the best to you, h and boo.


Topic: Did your EX ever...?
Subject: Did your EX ever...? - Posted: 10/22/2009 6:31:38 AM
nowthatiseethetruth wrote:
That‘s it, I think he actually DOES believe the lies he‘s been telling people..

Sad, really..


act like a lady. don‘t discuss your private life and the people around you will figure it out on their own.

if they don‘t or can‘t see what‘s what, you don‘t need them.


Topic: Rhi‘s Back
Subject: Rhi‘s Back - Posted: 10/22/2009 6:36:13 AM

congrats rhi, you deserve every bit of peace and hard won happiness.

i hear you‘re about to be a granny to a new baby girl?

life really is good the second time around.


Topic: Rhi‘s Back
Subject: Rhi‘s Back - Posted: 10/22/2009 6:39:13 AM

p.s. luvy, in florida your stbex has to provide you with a addy and a phone number.

plus it is illegal to conduct visitation in the "co-habitating home". which means while he is still married he can not coduct his visitation in a home he shares with a whore.

after the papers are filed..i‘m not sure..my daughter was older and still refuses to go.


Topic: Will I ever be able to trust what a man‘s say again?
Subject: Will I ever be able to trust what a man‘s say again? - Posted: 10/26/2009 7:24:05 AM
simpleyetcomplex wrote:

.. Is anyone real? Does anyone know how to be real and close and honest?



no. sorry.

 

i suggest that you keep doing what you are doing. waiting. observing. be wary, it‘s a jungle out there.

i also believe that if you want someone to be intimate with, to trust and take care of, spend time getting to know and cherish, look in the mirror.  it‘s your duty to be in good company when you are alone.

 


Topic: Will I ever be able to trust what a man‘s say again?
Subject: Will I ever be able to trust what a man‘s say again? - Posted: 10/27/2009 5:54:54 AM
ladybug22 wrote:
i had said something done to me too i am happily married and me and my husband had this friend another male would come over watch tv and play cards stuff like that .anyways about 4 months ago i caught him stealing my kids money so i told him not to come back it wasnt till a week later i was getting phone calls telling me he was going to kill me and emails ,letters his family calling saying i better stay away from him then one night it got so bad he was arrest he keep driving up and down my road back to back .now we are going to court and i am so scared that when i go he will say we was having affair in front of all them people i never been to court but he has told family members he would say me and him had affair to get out of trouble .what do i do please help me


first, put on you big girl panties and face up to it. you have to go to court, take some coins for the parking meter and if you smoke, suck one down before going in.

even if you are having an affair, that doesn‘t give him the right to rob you or stalk you.

have you thought about trumping him and getting a restraining order on him before the court date?


Topic: favorite part of the house
Subject: favorite part of the house - Posted: 10/28/2009 11:29:40 AM
Whichever room my computer is in.

Topic: GUESS
Subject: GUESS - Posted: 10/29/2009 3:26:40 AM
shelbelle wrote:

it wasnt very entertaining watching adult women rip at each others throats and spew venom.

it was actually quite hurtful fifi if you must know



yet here you are shelbelle, again.


Topic: GUESS
Subject: GUESS - Posted: 10/30/2009 3:13:14 PM
LittleIvy wrote:
Busty Spumonte wrote:
evesdroop wrote:
Busty Spumonte wrote:
evesdroop wrote:
The moderator stepped in......damn the luck!!


I guess I miss something.  Now it‘s gone. 

How‘s the weather up there Eves??  Chilly??  LOL!



Hey Busty....just got up. I asked my friend‘s hubby and he said it was like 45 out.......yuck!! I had to bring a winter coat with me.....I was surprised I found one in my closet...LOL....


I got cha beat here missy!  It was 32 degrees and snowed!!

 



Wow, it snowed in ethiopia??? I guess that global warming crap is true!!!! lol


ivvvvyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Topic: testing tomorrow
Subject: testing tomorrow - Posted: 11/21/2009 12:39:12 PM
not pissed wrote:

hey girls

Everythings going well, but I have to go to the charleston hospitol for testing tomorrow for the baby so please keep me in your prayers

 lots of love guys!



are you sure you don‘t mean a Maternal Fetal Protein Test?

you are a little young for amnio but if the doctor thinks you should have one then remember, you could mis carry the baby. and if you are against terminating the pregnancy then there is no reason to risk it. you won‘t even get the amnio results until its far to late to have a vacum aspiration anyway.

 

When is MSAFP performed?

MSAFP may be performed between the 14th and 22nd weeks of pregnancy, however it seems to be most accurate during the 16th to 18th week. Your levels of AFP vary during pregnancy so accurate pregnancy dating is imperative for more reliable screening results.

All pregnant women should be offered the MSAFP screening, but it is especially recommended for:

  • Women who have a family history of birth defects
  • Women who are 35 years or older
  • Women who used possible harmful medications or drugs during pregnancy
  • Women who have diabetes

What does the MSAFP test look for?

Alpha- fetoprotein(AFP) is found in both fetal serum and also amniotic fluid. This protein is produced early in gestation by the fetal yolk sac and then later in the liver and gastrointestinal tract. The true function of AFP is unknown. We do know that this protein’s level increases and decreases during certain weeks of pregnancy which is why accurate pregnancy dating is crucial.

The AFP test is measuring high and low levels of alpha-fetoprotein. The results are combined with the mother’s age and ethnicity in order to assess probabilities of potential genetic disorders.  

High levels of AFP may suggest that the developing baby has a neural tube defect such as spina bifida or anencephaly. High levels of AFP may also suggest defects with the esophagus or a failure of your baby‘s abdomen to close.However, the most common reason for elevated AFP levels is inaccurate dating of the pregnancy.

Low levels of AFP and abnormal levels of hCG and estriol may indicate that the developing baby has Trisomy 21( Down syndrome), Trisomy 18 (Edwards Syndrome) or another type of chromosome abnormality.

 

 

good luck. xoxo

 

 


Topic: Christmas Chat
Subject: Christmas Chat - Posted: 12/25/2009 11:50:29 AM

i popped in on cali and shywife just now. if you let me know, i‘ll drop by again.

 

would love to catch up with everyone.


Topic: Old friends
Subject: Old friends - Posted: 12/25/2009 11:57:04 AM

Merry Christmas to you fifi and eves, love ya. call me.

 

and to busty, sunny, shally, momo, little ivy, dreamer, png, fast, deedee, meandnotyou, nikki, legion, trueblue, katie kaboom, and dag, happy holidays to you all.

 

 


Topic: Sorry it‘s been so long. Things are great!
Subject: Sorry it‘s been so long. Things are great! - Posted: 12/25/2009 12:01:19 PM
perpetualdawn wrote:
Just wanted to spread love and thank you to all the supportive women out there who‘ve really helped me make some major changes on the inside that lead to changes on the outside.  I‘m happily  on unemployment now as I look for work where I can use my skills and be treated with respect, and I‘m living with a gentile smart man who treats me with love and respect in ways I never couldn‘t have dreamed of.  Thank you so much for the love and support you‘ve been offering me.


pass it forward. amen.


Topic: OMFG!!
Subject: OMFG!! - Posted: 12/30/2009 6:37:30 AM
evesdrop wrote:
not pissed wrote:

so I had a very merry Christmas this year!!! David asked me to marry him on Christmas eve!! Of course I said yes! We were at my parents house and he had to leave right afer, but it was perfect!

He‘s off to do Winter Camp for the boyscouts today and I won‘t see himm till Friday, but OMFG!!! I miss him!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!



David is lucky to have you.....you are an awesome lady. I believe god works in mysterious ways. He knew it was "your time" for happiness. You certainly deserve it!!

Best of luck on your marriage, and new baby as well. I am still dying to know if it will be a boy or a girl.



yes, what she said. all the best np.

did you set a date?


Topic: Lorrie, Me, Momo, Bubble........Bring the golf club
Subject: Lorrie, Me, Momo, Bubble........Bring the golf club - Posted: 12/30/2009 6:43:32 AM
kaylar wrote:
Take the guns and sell them, and pay the mortgage. say nothing.  When he looks for the guns very calmly tell him
you paid the mortgage


i agree. if he gets mad, just write a beautiful letter saying "sorry".

 

 


Topic: Had an affair... feel so much remorse, but need advice. PLEASE
Subject: Had an affair... feel so much remorse, but need advice. PLEASE - Posted: 12/30/2009 7:00:09 AM
browneyedsweetie1281 wrote:

So I had been friends with this guy for about 3 years. About a a year ago we started hanging out. He was going through a rough patch in his marriage and had wanted to leave her but she suffered from severe depression so he was afraid to leave her. We would just meet up and talk. It was all very innocent at first. Well, after a while, a kiss led to touching, and touching led to sex. We had sex about 3 times and then hung out a few more times after. I have not seen him in about 9 months and since then, I have felt very guilty about what happened. Then just a few days ago, his wife hacked into his facebook and posted that her husband cheated on her with me and what she wrote was very explicit. I am beyond regretful and feel so bad for this sin I have committed. I have no clue how she found out as he would not talk to me and then once she started sending me harassing text messages I told her to leave me alone or I would file a PPO. I dont know what to do because I am so fearful that my reputation is going to be ruined. So far I have just denied everything. Please give me some advice without being mean. I know I am a horrible person for participating in this. I feel so awful. : ( I am just so scared my reputation will be ruined forever.



take your medicine hoor. it‘s the only way.

when the wife‘s done, THEN it will be over.

answer her texts, answer her questions. when she‘s done raking you. then its done.

you might want to ask her how her depression is, just to get alittle dig in and remind her her hubby ain‘t all that.


Topic: advise
Subject: advise - Posted: 12/30/2009 7:03:41 AM
liarliar wrote:



Thank all of you for  your responses.I feel like i have no one to talk to or everyone will find out


tell no one. not until you decide what to do.

Topic: advise
Subject: advise - Posted: 12/30/2009 7:04:41 AM

p.s. start snooping around for every financial piece of paper you can find. take them and hide them or take them and copy them and hide the copies.

sometimes men in affairs use marital assets to pay for their fun.


Topic: 2009 as 2009 comes to a end.
Subject: 2009 as 2009 comes to a end. - Posted: 12/31/2009 5:43:42 AM

i‘m sorry to hear all that you have gone thru ns.

you‘ve got such courage, i can hear it in your post. and this may sound rather cold but i have to tell you, i had my turn. for two unrelenting years, it was my turn every other month. but,  a wise lady told me: "it‘s your turn lorrie, i had my turn, now it‘s yours".

she went on to explain that we all get a turn at everything. being young, being in love, attending college, starting a family and yes, growing older and facing huge pain and loss.

just remember, it won‘t be your turn at this forever. you‘ll get a turn at being healed. your family will get a turn at being the ones that made it.

take heart, you‘ve got what it takes.


Topic: OMFG!!
Subject: OMFG!! - Posted: 12/31/2009 5:52:50 AM
evesdrop wrote:
malarkey marie wrote:
evesdrop wrote:
not pissed wrote:

so I had a very merry Christmas this year!!! David asked me to marry him on Christmas eve!! Of course I said yes! We were at my parents house and he had to leave right afer, but it was perfect!

He‘s off to do Winter Camp for the boyscouts today and I won‘t see himm till Friday, but OMFG!!! I miss him!

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!



David is lucky to have you.....you are an awesome lady. I believe god works in mysterious ways. He knew it was "your time" for happiness. You certainly deserve it!!

Best of luck on your marriage, and new baby as well. I am still dying to know if it will be a boy or a girl.



yes, what she said. all the best np.

did you set a date?



Yes....what she said....did you??


eves! i was just thinking of you.

did you see that rock NP got?


Topic: OMFG!!
Subject: OMFG!! - Posted: 12/31/2009 5:54:14 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

 

VERY AWESOME!!  2010 is going to be a very busy year!!

 



it‘s her turn. it‘s gonna be great to watch.

Topic: selective christmas carols
Subject: selective christmas carols - Posted: 12/31/2009 5:57:34 AM

  12 "pains" of xmas!

 

i can name two or three. putting up the tree, taking down the tree. living without money.


Topic: confused virgin cheated on by first girlfriend
Subject: confused virgin cheated on by first girlfriend - Posted: 12/31/2009 6:21:05 AM
GratedTopping wrote:
About sex? Around 14, I began having seizures and trouble with my speech. I was afflicted with aphasia. With that, you just have difficulty processing identity of words and sentences get jumbled. I had a problem in my brain with blood flow into the speech center. Radiation treatment helped it a bit, I imagine, but it was very rough-going for a while. I knew that I felt that, if  I was going to get worse, it might not be right to put someone through that. Plus, I didn‘t want to have something embarassing happen in front of someone. Of couse, I wasn‘t allowed to drive either, so I felt a woman wouldn‘t like me because of that. Although it‘s not what professionals would want, I felt closer/safer with my computers than people. Baseball, bowling, wrestling, tennis, swimming were of more interest and I enjoyed those activites for a while. Yet I had to stop a lot of that and then I was suddenly facing a major difficulty. I did graduate high
school, fortunately, but it wasn‘t the same being tutored.

Back when I was 13 I got scared when my first girlfriend then wanted to ‘be‘ with me and I didn‘t do it. I didn‘t even know what it was at that time and it didn‘t seem right. It turned out that, even then, I was being fooled: it was some sort of contest with her friends to see who could ‘do it‘ first and I was betrayed.

The girl that hurt me recently, my second girlfriend in life, was the first I‘d even kissed in over 20 years. I didn‘t even remember what that was like and I was terrified. Then, I ended up being fooled again. She did take me heart -- I mentioned such words and she accepted -- and
seemingly lost her mind in a day or so. My heart was thrown to the wolves, as you mentioned. Breaking all ties with her was tough for me since I didn‘t have a lot of friends to begin with and just stopping was something I wasn‘t used to. I did her no wrong and at least she told me that I didn‘t (after she messed-up). In the start, she invited me to church and that was nice. I thought that such a thing was helpful in me thinking she would be safe. Yet that‘s just something she did at times...and later told me that "I hate going to church." I thought my promising to her right in church "I‘ll never hurt you." was a special moment; enough for her to know that I was true. I remember asking about children and church and she thought that "Kids need to be brought up properly." I wondered: would she think that it would be proper to raise
them on weed like she was?

I guess I‘ve learned to be super-cautious. For me, I know I wouldn‘t want to just have sex for the curiousity of it. Everybody can do that; I need to know someone would be real with me. I want them to know that I‘m real, too. I‘m told that I have social anxiety and an Avoidant Personality Disorder, which means that I have desire to be with friends but don‘t get close to somebody unless I feel assured that they won‘t betray/reject me.

Even with that, these days I do know some women a bit and I am happy having them call me, hanging out with me, and going places that are new to me. I feel a bit popular and it‘s nice. Hearing things like "I feel safe with you," "I trust you," and "You‘re a gentleman," are absolutely wonderful and new as well.

I‘ve actually turned away some people, who wanted to get closer, because I was more scared now. It‘s like I am a teenager going through things that already should have taken place. Yes, I knew absolutely nothing about relationships; not even how to keep things together, of course, but I tried and I always have to know that she had major problems I didn‘t and I was okay. I couldn‘t help her if she didn‘t want it. I was a good boyfriend and I hope that when a person really does wrong to her, she regrets her actions...but I don‘t think she will and will always rationalize that it was the man who was mistaken.

I am different in that I‘m not as experienced in areas. Major differences can come between people; she shouldn‘t have even tried to be with me know I wasn‘t like her. Did she want to change me to be more like her?? It seems like she thought I was such a nice person that I would accept her as she was ... but I wanted to help. She wants a drinking, hyper-sexual, high person. I can picture that: "Hey mom...let me tell you about the PERFECT guy I met!"

Heck...another thing she told me is when she was with a gang member. She gave me so much scary information later in the ‘relationship‘ while I told her all about me right away. Once I learned so much, I was preparing to end it because she wasn‘t honest with me. Also...she  had come out of a psychiatric institution a few DAYS before I met her. I had a lot on my plate.

Another fact I learned: she had ‘dated‘ a man in his thirties when she was around 14! That‘s terrible. Recently, I actually found and spoke online with the person she cheated on me with. A man who was in his 50‘s (she was 28). He told me of how she said a lot of the same things to him and didn‘t want to even be reminded of her. She misled him a lot, too, and he was ‘disgusted‘. She‘s going to hurt a lot of guys.

She and I were only together about 10 months, and I knew of her the year before, but it was a lot to me. Feeling of love for the first time. I remember that we were going to the shore that summer. A friend of mine had a house right next to the boardwalk; I‘m glad that I went anyway and spent a week; something else I‘ve never done.

Thanks for your pertinent thoughts and for not something plain like "You‘re finally growing up. Get used to it." I‘m sorry this happened to me. I was an honorable person in her life; I‘m pleased with myself. I hope someone else might be.


aim higher.

Topic: She moved back!
Subject: She moved back! - Posted: 12/31/2009 6:27:17 AM

Her sister understands and knows all the truths, but her parents (that she lived with last Spring) are confused and don‘t know who to believe.  She emailed today and wants knows that I contacted her parents and wants to know what was said so she can prepare for what she will be coming back to.  I can‘t tell her anything.... I won‘t bail her out this time. She has to learn that her lies to them are not okay and that I will not be a part of them anymore.

 

 

little white lie there dude?

 you are "part" of her life. because you can‘t stay out of it. she made her choice. clearly one you think is wrong. but you don‘t get to vote anymore. nor talk ABOUT her to anyone. friends keep confidences. shut it.

you‘re almost out of this mess, get the rest of the way out.

and don‘t try telling me you‘re not "waiting". you are. and i understand, believe me. but just do it with a little pride. go no contact.

it‘s best for you. i promise.


Topic: Happy New Year!
Subject: Happy New Year! - Posted: 1/1/2010 3:04:54 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

I wish, hope and pray that all womansavers and their families have a safe, happy and prosperous 2010!

 



from your lips to god‘s ears. xoxo

Topic: Husband had an affair and now everyone says she‘s pregnant
Subject: Husband had an affair and now everyone says she‘s pregnant - Posted: 1/1/2010 3:14:38 AM

find all the money. take it. hide it. keep it.

file for divorce as soon as possible. be all sweet and tell him anything that gets you off the legal and financial repondsibility for that dirt bag.

your son deserves a life away from his lousy stinking low life role model of a father. that takes money.

take everything you can get, everything you can carry and make tracks woman.


Topic: Isn‘t this just so true..
Subject: Isn‘t this just so true.. - Posted: 1/6/2010 4:30:01 AM
huh? what they said to me. what they did to me, directly effects how i feel. hello?

Topic: Abusive Ex Who WON‘T Go Away
Subject: Abusive Ex Who WON‘T Go Away - Posted: 1/6/2010 4:41:18 AM

here, if you can not find the husband you must take out three weekly ads in the paper stating the date and time of the court case, in your community and in his.

if there is no reponse to these ads, the divorce goes thru uncontested.

the same for debts. you take out an ad, once a week for three weeks, in your community and in the community you believe he resides, stating that you will no longer be repondsibile for him.

ask your lawyer.

remember, the children will not always be little. this will end.

 however, he will always be dangerous and i have to tell you, i pray god calls him home for everyone‘s sake, sick piece of garbage.

don‘t bother telling me not to, i rarely listen to anyone.


Topic: Pretty Girls Don‘t Cry
Subject: Pretty Girls Don‘t Cry - Posted: 1/6/2010 4:44:07 AM
troubled10 wrote:
I had a lady tell me, your stupid, because you ended up with an abuser.  I would never be that dumb.  That would never happen to anyone in my family.  Because we are smarter.  When I met Him , he had just got out of a relaitonship.  It was all her fault.  His ex was the bad one.  He was good. He was sweet and brought me flowers and was really good to me and I thought it was her fault.  He isn‘t like that.  He loves me.  I wasn‘t there to change him, I was was there because she was wrong.  And I knew he was good.  I wanted someone to love me.  I loved the attention he gave me and I really did think I loved him.  But I was more that I wanted to be loved.  And he wasn‘t the right person.  He hurt me and now I‘m the bad one.  I‘m the one that is no good. I‘m wrong and he‘s right.  And he treated me worse than his ex.  He hurt me more than her and after I‘m gone, his next girl , she will be used and hurt even more than me. As far as what the lady said, she‘s wrong.  It happens to everyone.  No matter how you grow up, no matter if your rich, poor or middle class.  A pretty woman, meets HIM, and he‘s really nice and sweet and then he lets you know how bad his ex is, and then sometimes it happens .  HE STARTS HURTING YOU.  AND USING YOU.


post him on rate a guy. post him on other websites. just make sure what you say about him is the absolute truth.

Topic: Please define what you believe to be a ‘goodguy.‘
Subject: Please define what you believe to be a ‘goodguy.‘ - Posted: 1/6/2010 4:46:20 AM

i‘d say that a good man is not one that gets a girl preggers while he‘s married. causing her to place a baby bootie in his suitcase in order to make his poor pregnant wife aware of his deceit.

 


Topic: Every wifes nightmare, can someone help me?
Subject: Every wifes nightmare, can someone help me? - Posted: 1/6/2010 5:13:59 AM

haha, just wait till she finds out he‘s got no money and she and her kid are 5th and 6th in the line.

get a lawyer and file for support.


Topic: If you hubby prefers Escorts and Massage Parlors..check out these sites!!
Subject: If you hubby prefers Escorts and Massage Parlors..check out these sites!! - Posted: 1/6/2010 5:24:14 AM
pleaseunderstand wrote:
I think the other provider in this thread is a little bit rude.

We are women who are trying to make ends meet and live our lives. I understand you‘re pains because I‘ve been through the same thing. A relationship I‘d invested my life in ended over some women who was thinner, younger and blond. Nothing I could do to fix it and it wasn‘t worth it in the long run.

You are perfectly justified in being mad at us, but do me a favor and remember that it‘s your husband who calls our phone numbers.  We post our ads on sites but we don‘t see a married man and jump on him. We wait for the calls and they come in.

The other lady is right in that... whatever he‘s coming to us for... he‘s lacking something. You could be giving him everything and being a minx in the bedroom... and he‘ll still cheat because he wants more.


you had better take care of your house, car, man, kids and jewelry. if you don‘t i will be justified in taking them from you.

you‘re a sex worker cuz you haven‘t got any other skills besides letting strangers ram your ass and *****, most likely without a condom.

 

 


Topic: Mortgage question
Subject: Mortgage question - Posted: 1/16/2010 12:45:30 PM
i know only enough to know that i would never do it with out complete legal advice.

Topic: lil bubble on the way! :)
Subject: lil bubble on the way! :) - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:25:48 AM

what wonderful news. all the best bubble, thanks for letting me share in your joy.


Topic: Prayers for Shally
Subject: Prayers for Shally - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:28:49 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:
You know I hate this.  What the hell is going on???????????



Topic: Nothing says ‘pregnant‘ like hormones!!!
Subject: Nothing says ‘pregnant‘ like hormones!!! - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:32:58 AM
GoodBye wrote:
Rhiannon wrote:

Apologize, apologize, apologize...and remind yourself - and everyone else - "This, too, will pass."

Try writing things down  VENT on paper.  Every complaint, every irritant, every bit of rage  It is much safer than talking  You can get it out without taking it out on anyone else.

Are you getting plenty of rest?  Eating right?  Explain to your partner that you love him to death, and "ask" him for what you need and want.  And when he does it, thank him profusely and compliment him and tell him how wonderful he is and how lucky you are to have him.

The way I kept from yelling at my kids - for years - was to tell them I was in a really bad mood, and that I was irritable, and that it had nothing to do with them. They had "forewarning" that this was NOT "the time" to be engaging in certain behaviors or I was in serious danger of blowing up.  That kept them from taking it personally, and by taking care of myself that way, I managed not to explode.

Lots of changes going on in your body!  Be good to yourself !



i thought u left this place! you still have the same avi and everything. I KNOW YOU FROM WAY BACK!


nice to see you as well.

Topic: Nothing says ‘pregnant‘ like hormones!!!
Subject: Nothing says ‘pregnant‘ like hormones!!! - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:35:26 AM
bubble, bubble, you‘re going about this all wrong. why are you stressing? you‘re queen of the world for the next year. sit back and let your servants tend you. just smile, touch your tummy and sigh...you‘ll be getting your own way in no time.

Topic: Nothing says ‘pregnant‘ like hormones!!!
Subject: Nothing says ‘pregnant‘ like hormones!!! - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:43:00 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

Oh just wait, your journey is just beginning! 

Pregnancy is about the most un-natural thing I‘ve experienced!   I had my appendix out at three months pregnant.  Then got Hellpp syndrome in the end and bloated up like a balloon.  My gums bleed, my ankles swole up, my hair darkened, my blood pressure sky rocketed, I was peeing orange.......the list could go on. 

Although I hear some women have no problems at all and it‘s pure bliss!

 

AND just wait.......after the baby arrives, DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR NAKED.  You will not recognize your body!  It takes some women a year to get back to pre baby body.  Well, I‘m still waiting and Boo is 8!!



i think any woman that tells anyone that she had it easy during pregnancy and delivery should be shot.

all these fing starlets running around 9 months pregnant, looking like i did at 4 months!! then they go and get their figures back in less then three months!@!

they ruined it for all of us. a woman‘s body used to be thought of as mysterious and powerful thing. not any more. all the secrets are out. and modern woman have only themselves to blame.

the first thing we did wrong was having the fathers present during labor. and wearing belly shirts as maternity clothes.

 


Topic: Lorrie, Me, Momo, Bubble........Bring the golf club
Subject: Lorrie, Me, Momo, Bubble........Bring the golf club - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:50:30 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:
Let‘s just say we now have a beautiful Harley for sale and the man can be sold seperately!



Topic: Mortgage question
Subject: Mortgage question - Posted: 1/19/2010 7:53:37 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

I guess my first question is are you assuming the loan or are you thinking of letting someone else assume the loan?  I don‘t have any experience hands on.  I would consult a mortgage specialist or google it.  My understanding is that the loan must be set up originally to have the option of assumption.  Banks don‘t usually like not having a finger in the say so of who it transfers to.  I would sure inquire as to whether or not you‘re liable in any way if the assuming party defaults.



i had a friend that gave his fellow veteran a assume on his old house. my friend ended up having to take back the loan and make the payments after the buddy defaulted.

Topic: blah,blah
Subject: blah,blah - Posted: 1/19/2010 8:10:19 AM

no **** sherlock! how old are you again?

 

This makes them more inclined to go after men who
are unattainable or unavailable, so they can remain excited for an
indefinite period of time. Females want the excitement to last, and
for them it does last—until after they have a commitment. However,
once they accomplish their goal, the feeling of excitement
goes away, which is very disappointing because the excitement
was what they wanted and they thought it would last.
It’s not uncommon for women to pine for men who shy away
from commitment, while they shun the attention given to them by
men who are willing and ready to make a commitment


Topic: Cheating hustand
Subject: Cheating hustand - Posted: 1/19/2010 8:24:00 AM
CALIFORNIA Girl wrote:
In response as to what I am going to do with this information from years ago - don‘t know!  I have a feeling it may not be from year ago but rather has been going on for several years and may still be going on - just wanted to hear someone else say that they didn‘t believe the one night stand story - have NO one I can talk to and I felt like I was loosing it!  I just need to find out more like how long it has really been going on and if it is still going on then I can deal with it accordingly - either accept and move on or kick him to the curb!


go to the doctor. have him out. you don‘t have to get a divorce yet, but you need answers. he is carrying a picture, no matter how long, he i s carrying a picture that is important to him.

find out how important, does he love the woman in the photo??

 

from my experience with sluts, the more active ones have naughty pictures right at hand. he may mean nothing to her, but she seems to mean something to him.

find out!!


Topic: Hands Off
Subject: Hands Off - Posted: 1/21/2010 2:08:44 AM
troubled10 wrote:
I know I‘m making plans.  Yesterday I got scared.  He asked me to talk with him, so of course I did.  He told me everything he said was out of anger and he wants us to stay together.  He was sorry.  Deep inside myself , I thought he‘s crazy.  I didn‘t say I would stay.  He just assumes I will, so he‘s been really nice to me.  I think about everything he has done to me.  And what people say also.  I won‘t stay.  I don‘t want to waste my life here.  I don‘t want to die here. I want some more happiness, I want my children to be happy.  I want to live whats left of my life with peace in it.  When I have enough money, we are gone and I know I can‘t leave with him being here.  I‘ll leave while he is working.  I thought of everything I could take in my van.  And I can take all my kids‘ things.  Beds and all if I take them apart.  I bought them nice things. And the sad thing is , is with my tax return.  I can buy all the furniture I need and still have a nest egg till I can get a job.  I can get food stamps till then also.  Where I‘m going I will need a class for my work and I though about money for that tooo.  I‘m just going with the flow now.  Trying to make it through Christmas.  My house is all clean.  He has a room with his own bathroom.  I don‘t go in but to use the computer.  And its a mess.  the only part of the house that s not clean.  I‘m not dirt, i‘m not trash, and i‘m not worthless.  And neither are my kids.  I‘m scared and I know this is my only chance to change things and I‘m taking it .  He‘s just acting weird.  He hasn‘t tried to touch me yet.  Hug me or anything.  I want peace in my life.  Thanksgiving was good.  He doesn‘t come out but to go in and out of the house. its like he has his own apartment on the other side of the house.  Me and my kids ate all together and he wasn‘t there.  but he was still in thehouse.  It was nice sort of being alone.  Next year things will be better.  I can‘t confide in any one here.  I can with you all.  And it helps.  Yes I am still leaving and yes I want peace and quiet.  I won‘t die here.  No thats not what I want.


be careful with any mail. have your money sent directly to your NEW bank account, the account with ONLY your name on it.

first, if you are married, how did you file as single? did you claim  the children? i was married when i filed claiming my daughter lucy but my accountant filed me as an "abandoned spouse".

plus i caught my ex at the mailbox taking the letters.

keep your eyes peeled for the money and don‘t let on.

you may want to pretend you want to paint the apartment?? take the beds apart and say you are going to rearrange the rooms, that way you can shove them in the van and haul ass.

i would just leave, don‘t worry about the lease and don‘t tell him where you are going. this is the most dangerous time for any woman being abused...right when she‘s near the door.

can you start a journal? maybe when you are at the bank opening a new account, you can get a safety deposit box and put the journal in there with any other small valuables?


Topic: Hands Off
Subject: Hands Off - Posted: 1/21/2010 2:19:22 AM
troubled10 wrote:
Any one cantake me to Court.  I am a VERY GOOD MOTHER.  And I will never LEAVE MY KIDS.  I‘m focused on keepingmy family together and Leaving here.  Making sure I can support them and I WILL.  I have friends here and I know that. 


do you have a cell phone? do you have a camera? get today‘s newspaper, put it on his bed, take a picture of the newspaper showing today‘s date and pictures of "his" side of the house.

Topic: More questions about HPV
Subject: More questions about HPV - Posted: 1/21/2010 2:42:43 AM
rebelangel_3733 wrote:

Last march my b/f told me his ex wife gave him something.....and that he had to have warts removed..yet he didnt tell me until the day he had the procedure done and I had already heard messages on his answering maching from his urologist about appointments.....which made me wonder until he told me.....and he told me non chalantly on our way to play pool with our league in the truck going to league...

He didnt say it was HPV...just said he had some warts down there and around his anus...i wondered why we werent having sex hardly....ya that was his first comment to me...havent you wondered why we havent been having sex.....and then he‘s like when it clears he cant wait to have some serious sex.....

I‘ve also found out this last oct that he‘s been seeing another woman but does not have vaginal sex with her....just titty f#$%#.......I know his password so I read their messages in the archieve......ya bad me i know.....now I‘m wondering if he really did get it from his ex wife......years back like he says......I‘ve never been tested though he said his dr told him to tell me to.....I cant afford to......he said his medication cost him over 600 bucks (though his insurance paid for it mostly) and I have no clue what the urologist cost him...or his insurance...but he said he didnt have cancer.....oh yippee huh....and I know he‘s still looking for other "adventures" with woman online.....yet he says he wont have real sex just titty F#$%#$ with them......yet he also says he‘s married....and were NOT. I‘m not one to go to any dr and havent in 17 yrs since my last child was born.....ya I know....cant afford it so dont.

Info online sucks too......I‘ve read ALOT! 



you need a pap smear pronto. call planned parenthood, they have a sliding fee scale based on your income. go there, tell them what you have told us.

he‘s gay honey, he has warts in his ass. he exposed you to warts, which are a known cause of cervical cancer. you need a pap smear every 4 to 6 months now. and condoms, lots of condoms, should you be dumb enough to stay with him.

move it!! call the clinic.


Topic: Bubbles needs are prayers and good thoughts
Subject: Bubbles needs are prayers and good thoughts - Posted: 2/23/2010 3:33:29 PM
bubblecropper wrote:

Only starting to enjoy it now that the nausea has calmed down!!

Waiting on my pizza delivery!

Shally, that video is fascinating, I think I‘ll be getting a 3d scan at 20 weeks!

First trimester is almost over ladies!



i‘m so glad to hear you are better, when i clicked on the thread my heart was in my throat. don‘t scare me like that.

have you given any thought to what you will use on your skin to keep from getting stretch marks?

i‘m not going to mention hemmoroids. nope. not going there.


Topic: Wish me luck!
Subject: Wish me luck! - Posted: 2/23/2010 3:49:07 PM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

Had a second interview today!  They need to quit with the mental anguish already and hire me.  No one is better qualified or excited about the opportunity than me!!

Again they say they will make a decision by Friday.  I think I should check in on Wednesday or Thursday.  What says ye ladies???  Should I check in or just wait to hear from them?



they will call. everything is in your favor.

Topic: plz help, is he cheating
Subject: plz help, is he cheating - Posted: 2/23/2010 3:53:13 PM

say nothing. to anyone. snoop. snoop. snoop.

start looking into all your finances and photo copy everything you find. then but the papers back where you found them.

 


Topic: Go or stay?
Subject: Go or stay? - Posted: 2/23/2010 4:31:28 PM

i always say: your feelings are not facts.

you seem to want to just go ahead and separate and i think it‘s because you are certain he will do it again, and equally certain, it‘s gonna hurt like hell.

so you figure, just get it over with now so you can skip living in fear?

i‘d say, and only because you‘ve loved him most of your life, give him one final chance.

and in the meantime, find all the money and spruce yourself up, just in case.


Topic: please help!!
Subject: please help!! - Posted: 2/25/2010 9:56:17 AM
Seymourkn wrote:
My name is Kylie Seymour.  I am a current student at Dominican University of California.  I have to write a research paper for one of my classes and would really like to do an anonymous study on marriages where infidelity occurs.  I need at least 40 participants and would like to know if anyone would be interested.  All you would have to do is answer 10 multiple choice questions through an email that I would send you, completely annonymous of course.  
Please let me know if you would be willing, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you. 

My email is Kylienseymour@hotmail.com


are you sure you cannot find any one that has been cheated on in cali?

try the church, the cops, and the woman‘s shelter.


Topic: ‘carolwalden‘ bullying a pregnant woman by PM
Subject: ‘carolwalden‘ bullying a pregnant woman by PM - Posted: 2/25/2010 9:58:34 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
Hi All,

Not sure who this is probably a sock puppet for some regular crazy....but this is whats been sent to me through private messaging...

carolwalden: If you feel it``s going to trigger someones memory, why post it? What does this Catholic vidio show to us? That Catholics are barbaric. Why post it? You need to think before you post.
bubblecropper: I`m Irish, I`m catholic and some of my relations where abused in state run institutions. I posted the video to hightlight what happened here in Ireland. You don`t live here, you have no idea the effect this has had on us, so how dare you come here out of the blue and make accusations.
carolwalden: How dare YOU to show it to us here in the states where nothing like that ever happens!
bubblecropper: If you have anything further to say...do it on the public forum. Coward?
carolwalden: the pm system is here for a reason. you think your `coward` word means anything to me? your the one pg and not married. what a good catholic girl you are....hahaha


so it triggered her.

Topic: IT‘S COMING SOON!!!
Subject: IT‘S COMING SOON!!! - Posted: 3/2/2010 5:29:14 PM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

 

Spring is around the corner!  You know what‘s comin girlies?  You must wait for the 4th annual open toe shoe pledge!!

 

 



dang busty you really let your toes go.

Topic: D-Day is close, Narcissist is raging
Subject: D-Day is close, Narcissist is raging - Posted: 3/2/2010 5:45:58 PM

fastgetaway started a tradition of giving the newly single a "divorce cake".

congrats on fighting for your freedom, it‘s worth every penny.

 


Topic: Sadness
Subject: Sadness - Posted: 3/12/2010 4:56:53 AM
Drew J wrote:
Tinkey wrote:

So now what, girls? I need you, my girls (and guys on here.)



Kaylar is totally right. If he can‘t keep it in his pants, screw ‘em. Now that he thinks you are forgiving him, the time is to secretly plan a divorce and get the kids if possible. He waged war and deception on you so it is time for you to respond in kind. Is there any chance you can grab any evidence of him cheating on you? Does any exist? Courts love to see bulletproof evidence of any kind. If you could get a divorce and not come out dirt poor and have some sort of guaranteed support, then I‘d say do it.


i agree with drew. altho down here you do not need grounds for a divorce so it‘s a waste of time getting evidence of infedelity.

find the money. prepare yourself. once he gets to sweden, you‘re on your own.

i‘m only sorry you wasted so much time on a man that shows his penis to a camera while his family is nearby.

enough is enough.


Topic: Help me learn how to forgive!
Subject: Help me learn how to forgive! - Posted: 3/12/2010 5:00:26 AM
amhxv3 wrote:
I have personally been affected by infidelity and I want to add the empirical literature on this topic. I was wondering if you would please consider filling out my survey for my dissertation project that seeks to better understand the factors that promote recovery from infidelity. Please feel free to forward this survey to anyone you feel may be interested. For more information, please contact me by email: amhxv3@umkc.edu

 



surely there are cheaters in your own town you can interview??

Topic: guy needs help with major moral dilemma
Subject: guy needs help with major moral dilemma - Posted: 3/15/2010 6:19:02 AM
funkle2 wrote:
i was recently hit on by my sisters new husband. i didnt tell her because she is madly in love with him and it would probably destroy their relationship and possibly ours for not telling her. what should i do. please help


how about if you just approach your sister with a simple question about his behavior. she knows him best.

ask her if she thinks maybe his is an "overly friendly" type of guy. and wait for her answer.

if  she hasn‘t got a clue, gently explain you are getting a "vibe" from him, saying nothing about anything major he‘s done, yet.

give her a hint and leave it for now.

then tell him if he doesn‘t stop, you will lay it all out for his wife, your sister.

 


Topic: I Am Having Surgery
Subject: I Am Having Surgery - Posted: 3/15/2010 6:23:35 AM
Rhiannon wrote:

Thank you, Everyone, for your kindness, and support.

Thank you, Tula, for that very inspirational message.  I loved that!  I really appreciate you posting that.

I am trying to focus on getting ready for surgery, and am trying very hard  to stay positive.  As concerned as I am for my health, I am equally as concerned about keeping my job.  I‘m making a concerted effort not too worry too much about the things I can‘t control, and trying to focus on taking care of the things I can. 

Thank you all very much for being there!



keep on going rhi, do what‘s in front of you,  it‘s your gift in the face of everything.  a heart to face the day, everyday.

it‘s what i admire most about you, you‘ve always keep on going.

and you will again.

 


Topic: I Am Having Surgery
Subject: I Am Having Surgery - Posted: 3/15/2010 6:26:09 AM
evesdrop wrote:

I am so sorry to hear that you are having issues....I am feeling that I am in the same boat you are....I had a CT scan and they told me my liver is very enlarged (no, I do not drink) and I have a mass in my colon. I will be having some not so pleasant tests on the 17th. I told them I don‘t care what they do as long as they give me the Michael Jackson juice.....I am afraid too.

Call me...I am thinking of you...I just haven‘t talked much to anybody....got alot on my mind.

Luv You...



 


Topic: Sweet Suicide
Subject: Sweet Suicide - Posted: 3/15/2010 6:28:47 AM

the worse the food is for your body, the less it costs.

the surgeon general might advise you to eat salmone and kiwi every day, but mac and cheese is always gonna be 3/.99cents.

and as someone who has fueled her entire life eating sugar, i have to tell you, that as we age, it‘s eating too much salt that‘s gonna kill us.

ya, i was suprised too.


Topic: Sadness
Subject: Sadness - Posted: 3/15/2010 6:46:43 AM
kaylar wrote:
Bob Dylan once sang;  "You have to pay to get out of going through these things twice."

Every man who is caught goes though a period of deep remorse for getting caught.  That he betrayed is wife is not why he is so unhappy, he‘s so unhappy, and contrite because he got caught.

This isn‘t a situation where John breaks up with Slutina all by himself,  This isn‘t a case in which Slutina breaks it off. 

It he didn‘t get caught on Tuesday he wouldn‘t be behaving this way on Wednesday. 

That is the point.
That is what you as the wife must never forget.

Right now, a damn fool called Elin is taking back that piece of garbage she married.  If she hadn‘t caught him, he wouldn‘t be so sorry.

The sorry is not what he did.  It was that he was caught.

If you have to write it on the walls so as not to forget it. Do so.
He is sorry he was caught.
Not what he did.

And when you are lulled into that sense of security.  You will either make it your duty never to catch him again or leave after you‘ve wasted another five or ten years of your life.

If a man comes to you and says, "Wife, I want to confess. I was unfaithful with Slutina.  I had an affair with her, and I ended it last week,  And I ask you to forgive me..."

That is one entirely different situation than when he‘s deep into his affair and you abruptly catch him.


while i repect you and frequently agree with you, i think this is bull****. sorry.

the only critieria in my book for a married couple to stay together after cheating is:

who does he love?????

give him plenty of "alone time" to figure it out.

 

 

 


Topic: Sadness
Subject: Sadness - Posted: 3/15/2010 6:49:03 AM
Tinkey wrote:

Hi everyone, and thank you all so much.  I love you all so dearly, even if I don‘t really "know" you.

Sunny, I‘m not mad at all.  I cherish your support.  I just wasn‘t able to sign in for a few days.  Do you have a FB? If so, I don‘t use my myspace much, it seems myspace has almost gone dead with the proliferation of FB.  LOL

He didn‘t get off easy.  He is keeping things where I can see at all times.  His computer faces me, and he‘s not on it much.  I‘m always home (work at home, etc.) so he has no chance of getting on when I‘m not around.  He knows what he has done to me, and it bothers him....I see it in his eyes.  He also saw a doctor and is also on antidepressants.  I know he could easily fall back into his bad habit so I‘m taking a wait and see approach.

Every single day, he asks me how I‘m doing today and has really opened up, talking to me like he never did before.  Oh, he got the worst part of it.  I laid it on the line with him.  She just got a lot of "why" from me, and I have to admit a large portion of that was to get her to open up and spill to me.

He told me all they talked about, how it went, and it hurt deeply, but I remained calm for the most part.  I have already told him the pain.  My dad....not sure how my dad knows...but apparently he made a comment to my husband that he is "pulling a Tiger Woods."  My husband adores my parents and they adore him so he fell from his pedastal a bit.

Not that it is an excuse, and he didn‘t blame me at all for this, but I realized something.  He never goes and does things by himself with others....so Sunday he wants to go fishing with my son, just them two.  He needs that man time.  He also has a lot of stress, which he internalized.  That is why he went to the doctor.  He is willing to do anything, he said, to make me feel secure.

Again, time will tell.  I am leery.  I‘m hurting, and I‘m fearful, but he constantly is reassuring me even when I‘m not asking about it.  He is helping out more around here, which was a big problem before.  In fact, when he has done things in the past, he still internalized and didn‘t talk/blamed me for his behavior which pissed me off more.  This time he is different.  When he apologizes for me feeling down, and if I say "it‘s okay" (not his behavior but just my depression) he says "no, it‘s NOT okay.  It‘s NOT your fault.  It is mine.  And I am going to make this up to you."  Sometimes he just takes me in his arms and says "I‘m so sorry for the things I have done."

This is just different than how he has ever reacted.

I love you all so much.  That kind of love/respect that I have always felt for the people on here (men and women), and the friends I have made. 

Sunny....introduce me to your relative here.  HAHA...never know when I‘ll need someone to bust some kneecaps (kidding of course, but....LOL)



sorry, the only person that can work an addiction treatment program is the addict.

 


Topic: can he kick me out the house
Subject: can he kick me out the house - Posted: 3/15/2010 7:09:26 AM
karin1957 wrote:
moogleangelgirl wrote:
Rhiannon wrote:

There are questions that you should be asking an attorney.  Find a good divorce lawyer, and fire these questions there.  I don‘t know how it works if you are not a US citizen.  I would get legal advice before making any decisions.

In most states, yes, a husband can legally kick you out of the house.  All it takes is an ex parte restraining order.  It largely depends on which state you live in, what the laws are in that state, but again, how the law applies if you are not a US citizen.  Whatever you do - do not let your husband know that you are worried about this.  Keep your mouth shut and say nothing until you have all the facts.

Know all of your rights before you do anything.

I am sorry you are going through this.  It sounds very disconcerting and scary.  Please continue to post.  And see a lawyer.



"Note that in divorce settlements and custody battles, a judge may want to hear both sides of the dispute before an ex parte restraining order is issued." quote from the link below:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2140122_file-ex-parte-restraining-order.html

She still has rights, he has to have cause such as threat or harassment.

It‘s not as easy as it looks, I tried kicking my ex out before. Wasn‘t too easy with my word against his and this was before the abuse started. Then again that was many years ago, i havent heard of this kind or R-order. I hope for her sake the judge would decide to hear her side. I doubt he would make her leave, having nowhere to go and being from another country with a child living here.


Thanks i will check this out . And i‘m stilling waiting of the phone call from the lawyer.

And by the way my husband told on the weekend that i must to my job around the that i can stay her. Is this something. It hurts but i try to hanging in there.



the husband that suggests the wife earn income or more income is setting her up to look as tho she won‘t need his money in a divorce or that she will need less child support.

he could be planning to keep the boy and get money from you. allthewhile, taunting you and making you dance to his tune.

SEE A LAWYER.


Topic: I Am Having Surgery
Subject: I Am Having Surgery - Posted: 3/16/2010 10:11:48 AM
evesdrop wrote:
malarkey marie wrote:
evesdrop wrote:

I am so sorry to hear that you are having issues....I am feeling that I am in the same boat you are....I had a CT scan and they told me my liver is very enlarged (no, I do not drink) and I have a mass in my colon. I will be having some not so pleasant tests on the 17th. I told them I don‘t care what they do as long as they give me the Michael Jackson juice.....I am afraid too.

Call me...I am thinking of you...I just haven‘t talked much to anybody....got alot on my mind.

Luv You...



 



Thank You for the lovely picture....it was bright and airy and made me smile.

I tried to call you back, but your cell message cut me off. I have not been avoiding you...just had alot of stuff going on here. I will explain all to you when we talk.

Tomorrow is a stay at home day to take the icky stuff that will have me becoming one with the porcelin bowl....ugh.

Then bright and early Wednesday, I get the "juice" and they will go up my arse and down my throat.

I am praying that it is just a "SHIT baby"...not a "cancer baby"...and the sick thing is... the more nervous and scared I am...the more cigarettes I smoke!!

The doc started me on lipitor for the cholestrol...seems weird with a very enlarged liver...but I guess it is better than having a heart attack or stroke.

Thanks to Measle and everyone else that asked after me!!

I am praying for you Rhi...make sure you or someone else calls me and let‘s me know how your surgery went and I will do the same.

Love ya Lorrie....



my cell is still acting up, just ask my wife.

i think she will call you today and carry my good wishes to you for a smooth "exploration" and happy findings. lol.


Topic: guy needs help with major moral dilemma
Subject: guy needs help with major moral dilemma - Posted: 3/16/2010 1:35:36 PM
shally wrote:
Please just be honest with her - completely, no hinting around, no games just honesty.


honest about what? what has he done?

Topic: Mothers‘ Day
Subject: Mothers‘ Day - Posted: 3/16/2010 1:38:12 PM
Divine Free Spirit wrote:
tula1969 wrote:
Hiya DFS,  for you!!

Yep, it is indeed Mothers Day here in the UK.

I only have one child, a daughter known here as Spug. Today was lovely, she doesnt do EARLY at the weekends so she eventually arrived here at home just past lunchtime lol. I received a gorgeous card and a huge teddy bear in a box, wrapped in celophane and ribbons. The teddy is wearing a jumper that says "if Mothers were flowers, I‘d pick you". Spug then "cooked" me oven chips and fishfingers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Say no more on that one, hahahahaha.

Today is also my skooches birthday, she is 6 today so Spug took her on a mini jog to the local shops and brought me back a bag of chocolates.

All in all, I‘ve had a lush Mothers day...... what about you??

Tula 


I am glad that you had a good Mothers‘ Day Tula.  :)






well how was your mother‘s day? ours is still weeks away.

Topic: Confused with my husband‘s act
Subject: Confused with my husband‘s act - Posted: 3/16/2010 1:56:37 PM
Hope7822 wrote:

I’ve been married for 7 years. A couple of months ago, my husband left home for work at 9 AM and returned home at 10 AM unexpectedly. He used the garage door and ran through the house and ended in our bedroom upstairs. He was acting so fast I had no idea what’s going on. Few minutes later, my husband resurfaced. He took his shaver and badge out of his pocket showing me and said he forgot them. Therefore he had to drive back home. I did not believe him. Why?  1. Every morning it is his routine to call me on his 45 minutes drive to work. He’d tell me the traffic situation. That morning he did not call. 2. Once in a while, he forgot his shaver or badge. He’d go a day without shaving or get a temporary badge. He did not drive back home in the past. 3. I used the bathroom few times after he was gone that morning, and I did not see the shaver on the counter as he claimed. 4. My husband has a habit of leaving his badge on the kitchen island. I could not understand how his badge was put upstairs the night before.

To me, my husband did forget something that morning, but not his shaver and badge. it is something he does not want me to know! In addition, I also noticed Matt put excessive mileages to our car around that period of time.

I was trying to figure out the whole thing; however he insists on his original story and became angry. Is my husband having an affair or am I being over sensitive (I hope it is me). I would love to hear your thoughts and advice.  - Confused



over the xmas holidays, i took photos of my christmas tree all decorated. i‘ve very proud of it and i do it just like my mom used to, when she was alive.

anyway, i took the photo with my cell phone and without putting on my glasses i texted it to most everyone in my "contacts" list.

i got a call 70 days later from a man i sometimes serve in the broken down diner dive i work in. he gave me his number because another customer is in poor health and we wanted to be able to reach each other should this aging widow take a turn for the worst.

seems his wife found a pix of my xmas tree in his cell phone. now she has him call me and demand to know wtf i‘m doing sending HER HUSBAND A PICTURE OF A XMAS TREE FOR GODS‘ SAKE.

i explain to him, "i‘m blind, miss-dial, wrong number, it‘s a tree ding dong, not my crotch‘‘.

he goes on to tell me, i‘ve "caused trouble" between him and his wife.

i apologize, remind him why i had his number in the first place, hang up and DELETE HIS ASS OFF MY CONTACTS.

his wife has called me again, twice.

 


Topic: Sadness
Subject: Sadness - Posted: 3/17/2010 6:23:54 AM
kaylar wrote:


There is no man shortage in the world. One doesn‘t have to cling to the person they married.  To ‘forgive‘ the adultery and continue only works in very narrow corridors.



When a man is living with his wife and conducting an affair behind her back and is caught, where does love come in?




then this website must be a "very narrow corridor" because of the at least 40 woman i‘ve gotten close to on here, only three are divorced. sunny, little ivy and i. so there is alot of forgiveness out there.

and the love comes in after the affair is exposed. if the man loves his wife and she wants to give him another chance, that‘s love.

you must have a real group of scumbags for clients. too bad my ex didn‘t hire you.

he was unrepentent and in "love" with the OW. since he didn‘t "love" me anymore, why the **** would i try to work it out. i didn‘t love him either.

the love comes in when the chips are down and ALL the cards are on the table.

and if a man is a *****hound, you have to decide if the life you have is worth being mrs. *****hound. i understand it works for some couples, hell, look at mrs. woods.

 


Topic: Sadness
Subject: Sadness - Posted: 3/17/2010 6:26:20 AM

and tink, i‘m sorry that kaylar and i have jacked your thread.

you know she can‘t resist telling us she‘s an attorney with oodles of slutina experience.


Topic: Good News Thread
Subject: Good News Thread - Posted: 3/18/2010 4:19:41 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:

I‘ve finally found a great job with benefits and advancement!

 

What is going on in your lives that is good??

Spring is on the way!  Soon the weather will be nice and we can spend more time outside.  Flowers will be colorful and we can have friends over for barbeques and star gazing!

 



congrats busty, you so deserve it.

my good news is that with the help of anti-biotics my vertigo is gone.

now i‘m just hoping eves will post with her good news. please god.


Topic: new to all this
Subject: new to all this - Posted: 3/18/2010 4:27:50 AM
Dignity, own your name.

Topic: Advice please re the guy I met online
Subject: Advice please re the guy I met online - Posted: 3/22/2010 2:42:00 AM
lexy3103 wrote:
 Hi !! Im after some advice from everyone please. Last november I met a guy on a dating website. I had never tried out a dating site before but I just figured everyone else was so why not !! anyway I met this guy who lives in the US whilst Im here in Australia, I liked the fact we had distance between us.. I felt safe ! anway I receieved emails from him everyday and then he started calling me also. things were going great between us as he started calling me his girlfriend and I received christmas and little presents... I was totally falling for this guy !! Soon after the Haiti earthquake my guy said he wanted to go and volunteer in Haiti for 3 months and what did I think.. Of course I thought it was a fantastic idea and who was I to stop him doing his part to help them. Anyway since he has been there I‘m only hearing from him once a week and its very small messages.. My friends are so convinced he is married with a hidden family somewhere and isnt in Haiti, especially when it came to my Valentines day and my parcel was post marked with a date in the US that was after the date he was meant to be in Haiti...My problem is that when you hear so much negative you tend to end up believing it - Im beginning to question him also as Im hardly hearing from him .. would a guy really lead you to believe he was in Haiti just to get out of conversing with you ? The poor guy just might be in Haiti but conversing with me from haiti is challenging.. what do you think ? I have asked for photos, letters and even talking via Skype but nothing yet to prove he is actually there except what his messages say... why does love have to be so confusing ?


off the top of my head, i would say, that if he can get to haiti, he can get to australia.

you haven‘t had sex, you won‘t lend him money. he doesn‘t know your true address, right?

so what‘s changed. if he is in haiti, you still "talk". if he‘s not in haiti, you still "talk".

in the mean time, keep looking. there are plenty of fish in the sea, and this one, frankly, is begining to smell.

as for the pros and cons of meeting men online, all i can say is, you meet people everyday, in a variety of ways, and a good percentage of them are gonna try to mislead you, so what‘s the difference?

it‘s up to you to see to your emotional and financial safety.

 

 


Topic: Dont s**t where you eat...
Subject: Dont s**t where you eat... - Posted: 3/29/2010 4:13:46 AM
bubblecropper wrote:
fairwarningtoya wrote:
1st post- I really need some ideas, please...So I work with a girl at a care center, she is 3rd shift. Her background- i believe she is a small town girl, very naive, inexperienced and obviously gullible. She is also a virgin, who says she "doesn‘t trust men". ( I am not certain as to why she confided in me) He is married, w/ 3 kids, and has a side business as a kareoke dj. He also works 3rd shift. With her. He has been "working on her" for over a year, last spring mngmt. had a "talk" with him about his pursuit of her, (I don‘t know all the details about it) he slowed down, then really put it on her heavy. The typical lies "were only together for the kids" "wife insists on an open marriage" and he really really cared about 3rd shift girl. She recently had been working alot of hours, her Grandmother was passing away, and he poured it on THICK. met her after work w/ some booze, "lets talk". He took her as far as she would let him (not completely, she is still a virgin) and then dropped her like a hot potato. He was "just kidding" about the open marriage. She "deserved" a "good" man, he just wants someone to "talk to" about his "manwhore" activities etc. etc.
Typical scumbag stuff. she KNOWS she was in the wrong, she is very ashamed etc, and he happened to catch her at a very weak time in her life...
How to "make him pay"?


He‘s a man with no respect for his wife and children and no respect for any woman by the sounds of it...you think he‘s happy? You think he‘s gonna have a nice life? Don‘t count on it....you don‘t have to make him pay...he‘s paying already. He can‘t be happy if he needs to manipulate people, in fact I‘ll bet he‘s miserable. You don‘t know what people go through in their moments of solitude....but you need to assume here that what he goes through is not very positive. So, don‘t worry about making him pay, thats not your responsibility.


Well said. The best revenge is a happy life.

Topic: Angelina Jolie; the archetypical Other Woman
Subject: Angelina Jolie; the archetypical Other Woman - Posted: 3/29/2010 4:28:11 AM
kaylar wrote:
I want you to all think back to when you were a girl turning into a woman.  "Am I pretty?"  "Do boys like me?"  "Am I prettier than Joyce?"  "Am I as good as Michelle?"

This little thoughts run through our minds. And maybe we try to prove we are ‘sexier‘ or ‘prettier‘ or ‘better‘ than a peer by going after their boyfriend.

If Alan prefers to be with me instead of Ann, I am better than Ann. 

We do this when we are kids because our self-images are fluid, and we are unsure.  We are young, we may not know who we are, what we are. 

So we go after a boy and he sits next to us in the lunchroom, not Debbie.  And we feel oh, we are prettier than Debbie.

Then there are those girls who have this basic sense of inferiority who have to go after other people‘s boyfriends.

The unattached boy has no cache for them. They don‘t want a boy no one else wants or has, they want a boy they can take away from another girl.  The taking away is the kick. And they will do anything they can to take him away.






I can‘t remember ever feeling that way or doing any of those things. Not once.

Topic: Just Found Out Today
Subject: Just Found Out Today - Posted: 3/29/2010 4:53:18 AM

Wow, for an RN you‘re not to good at spotting the sicko right in front of you.

Still, my advice in these situations is almost always the same.

Say nothing. Don‘t let on to him what you are thinking. When he is gone, do more snooping. Copy everything and put the originals back. Don‘t sell any property right now.


There is gonna be a war. It‘s up to you what you feel prepared to fight for. Him or You??

I don‘t see how you can fight for his mental health, the battle‘s gonna be way too long, and besides, he don‘t give a crap about himself. Look how he treats himself. 

I feel you need your resources for yourself and your new baby. Your baby deserves better and it looks like you are gonna have to be the one that sees he gets it. 

Find a job situation that offers free daycare. That‘s priority one. Stop leaving the baby with him.

Sure, sure, he‘d never hurt his own baby. But in my book, he almost killed his own baby and his wife.

Start planning the exit.


Topic: Porn Cheating-Leave or No?
Subject: Porn Cheating-Leave or No? - Posted: 3/30/2010 12:22:05 PM

 

 if you don‘t float his boat anymore, or vice versa, then tell him to pack his computer and move out.

 


Topic: LMWS
Subject: LMWS - Posted: 3/30/2010 12:30:04 PM
I cannot for the life of me understand how either elin or sandra could stay married.

Topic: so this was an e-mail I got today!!
Subject: so this was an e-mail I got today!! - Posted: 3/30/2010 12:39:46 PM

our group is seeking to hear from expert individuals, such as yourself, who diligently work in our community providing meaningful services, who make significant and selfless contributions, and put forth incredulous efforts in order to break the vicious cycle of child abuse and neglect and improve the quality of a child’s life. 

 

Np.


Topic: How can I know what to believe?
Subject: How can I know what to believe? - Posted: 3/31/2010 3:31:21 AM

can you please explain to me what you need a man for? and why you can not wait until all the children are out of your house to start a relationship? how much longer can it be before you living on your own?

 


Topic: My Best Boy.......
Subject: My Best Boy....... - Posted: 4/5/2010 6:32:04 AM
evesdrop wrote:

Buddy.....who was 17 years old was put to rest 3-20-10.

He was the best little guy ever. Prince took him because I could not do it. I didn‘t want to do it, but I knew that because I loved him enough...I could not keep him here out of my own selfishness. It was one of those things where you just know in your heart it is time even though you don‘t want it to be.

I guess it is just finally hitting me that he will never be sleeping on my pillow ever again...  : (

I miss and love you my sweet bubby...



until you see him again, may he sleep on god‘s pillow.

Topic: I was the Other Woman
Subject: I was the Other Woman - Posted: 4/5/2010 7:37:59 AM
well aren‘t you just delightful.

Topic: LMWS
Subject: LMWS - Posted: 4/5/2010 8:02:54 AM
LittleMissWomansaver wrote:
malarkey marie wrote:
I cannot for the life of me understand how either elin or sandra could stay married.


I don‘t think Sandra will go back as she has already hired a divorce attorney and I think Elin is just staying temporarily until things die down.  Tiger probably had to pay her off to get her to stay.


http://www.eonline.com/videos/v51920_chelsea-slams-michelle-mcgee.html

Topic: HAPPY EASTER.........
Subject: HAPPY EASTER......... - Posted: 4/7/2010 2:45:07 AM
Busty Spumonte wrote:
Divine Free Spirit wrote:
Happy Easter!

Do Americans eat chocolate Easter eggs?




We will be watching the Ten Commandments tonight and dying hard boiled eggs.  Yes we eat chocolated easter eggs! 

 Happy Easter DFS!!!



thanks busty. i hope you had a good easter as well.

 


Topic: Several good friends....
Subject: Several good friends.... - Posted: 4/7/2010 2:50:09 AM
i got my spring cleaning done! i cleaned all the chocolate out of the easter basket.

Topic: Prayers for my MIL, please
Subject: Prayers for my MIL, please - Posted: 4/8/2010 10:13:21 AM
prayers from florida.

Topic: Horrible Breakup.. Can‘t get over what he did to me
Subject: Horrible Breakup.. Can‘t get over what he did to me - Posted: 4/10/2010 3:05:22 AM

putting aside the loss of the pregnancy, i have to tell you that you are better off.

he‘s a drug addict, and they never change for anyone. period.

i think you made the right choice. and it was your choice, despite the pressure he put on you. you have to "own" the choices you make in life, be it a baby or a boyfriend.

learn from this. use protection, you are not ready for a child, let alone one with a loser drug addict for a father. or a husband.

find out all you can about what is right for you when it comes to birth control and get an STD/HIV panel just to sure.

 you made a choice and learning to live with it is called: growing up.

 

 


Topic: Gotta go..will be back ASAP
Subject: Gotta go..will be back ASAP - Posted: 4/10/2010 2:30:52 PM
evesdrop wrote:

I have to go to a meeting for my daughter‘s wedding...I‘m sure you will all be carrying on without me...but...I will be back.

See you all in a couple of hours!!



i sent you a text.

 

smmooochies.


Topic: College Boys...WOW
Subject: College Boys...WOW - Posted: 4/10/2010 2:36:19 PM
evesdrop wrote:

Well...the hog hole is done...LOL...

I cleaned everything!! There were more beer bottles/cans, wine bottles, and Captain Morgan bottles than you could imagine. Holy crap...who the hell drank it all??

Well at least my friend didn‘t see it nor does she now have to walk into it like that either.

Had that been my house...I would have SHIT A BRICK!!



you‘re a better woman then i. i‘ll never denied it.

i woulda made them clean it. that‘s how they learn.


Topic: suggestions wanted
Subject: suggestions wanted - Posted: 4/10/2010 3:00:44 PM
not pissed wrote:
Rhiannon wrote:

So he‘s on Facebook, NP, with a new girlfriend?

That really disappoints me.  I am so sorry NP.  I would be angry too!  What a ****heel. 

So now I guess I understand why he "needed space."  It‘s the classic cheating man‘s line.

Maybe you should consider having the baby in Ireland, NP!  You could expose your little guy to a cross cultural experience! 

Well, we love you NP.  We will all be here for you.  You can count on our love and support in the months to come.

 



actually his status says "it‘s complicated" for relationship
but it‘s like she rubs it in my face with her profile pic (the one of them covered in paint from this weekend
first there was the them spooning and holding hands pic that came out late March that made me delete his profile so I wouldn‘t have to see it. I did comment on the pic and later then we talked about it he said "it‘s only a pic" but he deleted it from him page (it was someonelse‘s photo so it‘s still on the net) but... who does that?!?
Who hooks up with a guy when he‘s got a pregnant girlfriend?!?
and knows it!!!
anyways, if she‘s looking for an instant family, we‘ll have a problem. I‘m not going to worry about it for now, but there will be court if he plans on having her around our son.
If he marries her there‘s not much I can do, but I am not going to have women (or men on my front) in and out of my kids life as just a fling.
I can be flexible on a lot of things, but I work in child abuse and I know that it‘s easier to abuse another‘s child and her values don‘t impress me so far. neither do his at this point, but there‘s not much I can do with him being my son‘s father.
and she‘s got one dead kid on her record. I‘m sure that SIDS maybe real, but as a first time mom it doesn‘t work for me.
her baby died at 6 months then when she separated from her husband she  started hanging out with my man (only when I wasn‘t there)
when he said he wanted time in the beginning of march, he said he‘d been thinking about seperating since january... that‘s when she started coming around
I‘m not stupid. I did give him the benefit of the doubt. i do still love him, but... like I said I‘m not stupid either and I have to think about my son and I now.


sad to say but these jerks tend to lose interest in their children and move on.

 

 

 


Topic: I was the Other Woman
Subject: I was the Other Woman - Posted: 4/10/2010 3:23:01 PM
lovehard wrote:

    I saw a program last week on Larry King the topic was  infidelity. They had a whore on that spoke about her pain in being the other woman. 

                    WHATEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

  Whatever pain she endured waiting for him to leave his wife and children she brought onto herself !!!  She knew he was married!  

 The majority of husbands Do Not leave the wife for the whore................

     Karma is a crazy bitch.......so watch how you play!!!

I AM one of the bravest women around!! I have endured too much in my life,not interested in your blog.



and karma is what happened to my ex AFTER i got done with him.

in the words of ivana trump, don‘t get mad, get EVERYTHING.


Topic: WEDDING PLANS>>>PLEASE ADVISE
Subject: WEDDING PLANS>>>PLEASE ADVISE - Posted: 4/11/2010 12:49:11 PM

 too much food, with all those starters, plus cake???

i googled orange and black weddings tho, just cuz i love ya.

 

 

 


Topic: What if this is your last day?
Subject: What if this is your last day? - Posted: 4/11/2010 1:19:02 PM
how is it that lily elite‘s post count remains at 8, no matter all the times she posted on the entire first page. she answered every single post yet the count remains at 8???

Topic: Is this abausive?
Subject: Is this abausive? - Posted: 4/16/2010 2:15:25 PM
claire57 wrote:

Thanks for your support and insight ladies.  Moogleangelgirl, I am not offended at all by your inquiry regarding my personal feelings for my roommate.  It would certainly make sense if that were the case, but it really isn‘t.  I have no romantic feelings for him at all and have actually tried to set him up with a couple of different girls.  My hope for him would be that he would meet someone, get married, and have some kids of his own.  My disdain for his curret situation is for a couple of reasons; it‘s just plain wrong, it is a horrible example for my son who also knows what is going on, and to be honest, it is just really difficult to work in an office with "junior high" type behavior going on with your co-workers not to mention the frequent phone calls, texting, and covert meetings that go on in my home.

Since my original post, things have kind of come to the surface - at least at work.  My roomate and his married girlfriend both hate our boss (who is actually great, by the way) and have been bad mouthing her all over the place and refusing to do what she has asked them to do so on Monday she is having a meeting with both of  them and her boss as well.  Hopefully this will at least help make things better at work. 

I am thinking about just getting away for a few days and removing myself from the situation, but honestly am a little worried about my roommate being alone in the house - it would not surprise me if he screwed around with my mail or something like that.  OMG...I can‘t believe I am in my house with someone I can‘t even trust to be there overnight alone!!! 



change the locks. have him out. don‘t go anywhere while he is still in your house, he‘ll empty your house and say you deserved it because you know which "buttons" to push.

next time maybe he won‘t stop with just calling you dirty names. maybe he‘s gonna launch himself at you in a rage, and even if he‘s sorry, your still gonna be hurt, maybe badly.

get him out before he and she lose their jobs. next he‘s gonna want to move her in.

don‘t tell your son anything, yet. we don‘t need him resorting to fisticuffs right now.

p.s. don‘t set him up with anyone, he hates woman. all woman.


Topic: New
Subject: New - Posted: 4/16/2010 2:32:09 PM

finish school, save up and leave.

his mommy can have him back.


Topic: Need non-judgmental advice
Subject: Need non-judgmental advice - Posted: 4/16/2010 2:52:00 PM

i think you should wait until you get all the money you can and then dump him.

but you already thought of that.


Topic: How to tell if a man really wants to quit being abusive.
Subject: How to tell if a man really wants to quit being abusive. - Posted: 4/16/2010 2:55:59 PM
dd5 wrote:

 Rhi....I am deleting my post....it was never my intention to give an abused woman false hope.

Guess I will just have to accept my husband is  of the 1 percent....and that is not enough to believe more men are capable of it.

Peace to all....

.

 

Quote from Rhi...."The chances of the average abusive husband making the sort of turn-around that you describe is about 1% - maybe less."...unquote.

Rhi....everything I originally posted is exactly how things are in our marriage now.  They have stayed that way for a couple of years, I truly believe things will stay as they are now.   He has nOT been under a court order for some time, his changes are real.  I am wondering why the percentage is so low of the men who decide to change.

 

 



if he drinks, he‘s abusive. if he starts drinking again be prepared to leave him and go far far away.

also be prepared to have everyone and their uncle say "i told you so" to you.

perhaps some al-anon meetings?


Topic: Seems like yesterday
Subject: Seems like yesterday - Posted: 4/17/2010 1:09:00 PM

i love to get updates. and i‘m very glad for you.

my ex and i get along great. he lives somewhere else, so that helps. but yes, all those little things that bothered us about each other, HE misses and reminds me of. go figure.

time heals most wounds and as long as we have each other, married or not, we‘re a family.

i‘m glad to hear your story, thanks.


Topic: What are your beauty secrets?
Subject: What are your beauty secrets? - Posted: 4/17/2010 1:09:41 PM
my beauty secret is: spackle and a trowel.

Topic: Favorite Quotes.
Subject: Favorite Quotes. - Posted: 4/17/2010 1:45:25 PM

much suspected of me, nothing proved can be. - elizabeth the first

To have nothing the matter with you and no (bad) habits is pretty tame, pretty colorless. It is just the way a saint feels, I reckon; it is at least the way he looks. I never could stand a saint. - mark twain

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren‘t lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live. - dorothy parker

what fresh hell is this? - dorothy parker

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings." -lewis carroll

soften a bit until we all just get along- the fray

HEY GOD! good morning, it‘s me, lorrie. please take over!! - malarkey marie


Topic: WEDDING PLANS>>>PLEASE ADVISE
Subject: WEDDING PLANS>>>PLEASE ADVISE - Posted: 4/17/2010 2:09:57 PM

imo, people should give consideration to the ones paying the bill.

and if and when my orphans marry, i refuse to pay for alcohol, for anyone.


Topic: Need non-judgmental advice
Subject: Need non-judgmental advice - Posted: 4/17/2010 2:15:18 PM
Lovelsu2007 wrote:
Well, here is an update on my mess.

After reading all of your posts I have decided this:  I am going to tell him exactly what I have told all of you: that I don‘t feel comfortable with being part of a triangle, that I have to like the person I see in the mirror, that I don‘t feel comfortable hurting another woman...even unknowingly to her, and that our intimate relationship is over until things are sorted out.

Perhaps I wasn‘t clear on my living arrangements. I got my apartment based on my own income, but, in a university area, we are all required to get guarantors...regardless of our age, credit, or income.  So, he just signed it. I am once month ahead on my lease. Actually, I am one month ahead on all my expenses.  It‘s just been a safety net using his cc.

Someone asked if I had known about this other woman all along....no, I didn‘t.  I DID ask at the beginning if he was involved with someone and he said no, but, that he had a female roommate.

To answer the question of what he see for us: he sees us together...as in marriage, but, is waiting until after this election in November.

I guess it all boils down to this: deceit
And it really doesn‘t matter who is deceiving who....deceit is always wrong & I just have a difficult time with it.
I‘m sure this woman would just be devastated if she knew the extinct he is involved with me.

I am going to talk to him tonight. I will find out once he is told the physical relationship is over if he is really, really into this relationship for love or for things he just isn‘t getting at home. (and we all know that is a possibility).




is he married to her, the room mate?

Topic: Favorite Quotes.
Subject: Favorite Quotes. - Posted: 4/18/2010 2:58:20 AM
If you don‘t have anything nice to say, come sit by me...