WomanSavers.com Forum / CATCH A CHEATER / How to deal with being single?

You get used to it. 

You count your blessings.  You look at the freedom and independence you have.  The freedom that says you can go to bed when you want, get up when you want, eat whatever you want, and have complete ownership of the remote control.  You are free to make your own choices and your own decisions, and to manage your money however you want.

You can get to know any number of men if that‘s your thing.  You can meet them anywhere.  I prefer being just friends with guys, and that works for me.

We live in a couple oriented society, and there is no getting away from that.  You can choose to let it bother you or you can learn to deal with it.  I don‘t deny that there are times when I have felt lonely, or have missed being in a relationship.  On the other hand, I have been married (more than once) in the past, and I know it wasn‘t always a bed of roses.  Not all couples are happy together, and even the ones who are happy, aren‘t always content.  I know many times when I was married, I missed some of the freedoms of being single.

But even in a couple oriented society, you can usually find ways to enjoy yourself.  I can enjoy good food, good wine, good company, a beautiful setting, and lots of laughs in any setting.  You can find something in common with almost anyone if you are interested in other people, and are a good listener.

I think most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

You have to see the glass as half full, rather than half empty.  And remember that everyone feels lonely sometimes.

Lament,

I was that girl for years and years. All my best friends got married, kids the whole nine yards....I‘ve been the single bridesmaid many times!

 It‘s true that you do get used to it. Honestly I used to like that I was the the unattached one. You just need to look at it in positive light it does have. You have freedom to travel (or re-locate anywhere with no baggage) come and go as you please...and really doing whatever-whenever. Sounds like a small thing until you find yourself attached or married and everything you do effects "your other half" or kids!! Enjoy it if you can because it may not always be that way!

My friends who did start families would tell me all the time that thet envied my freedom. I never envied their attachments.

Have a ball being single...travel...meet new people...and answer to no one!

Yep, I agree with Rhi 100%!

The happiness that freedom brings is way worth an occational lonely moment. And some of my loneliess times were when I was married!

So true.  I hear that all the time!  They also ask where I am going on vacation this year and I always have an answer.  I love to travel to warm, tropical places.

You must look on the positive and find things to do that make you happy.  I have been single for a long time and I absolutely love it!  If you feel lonely or alone, get a cat or a dog.  They love you unconditionally.

I agree with everyone.  And for me the big major plus to being single is that I focus more on the future...MY future.  It‘s fun!   I can stick to my plan or change my mind at the drop of a hat and not have to run it by anyone else first.  I‘ve already taken myself on one vacation this year.  I have another planned for September.  I‘ll be taking a third, also.  Have no idea where I‘ll go for that one, but it‘s fun dreaming of the possibilities.  I spoil the crap out of me and I love me for it!  haha     I have my down days, too, but they‘re nothing compared to the down days I had with my ex.

Enjoy your singleness now!  You won‘t be single forever.

I was more "single" when I was married than I am now.  I was married but did everything by myself--weddings, funerals, school events.  I am sure everyone thought I was divorced way before I actually was.  I was also much more lonely in my marriage than I have been since getting divorced.

You just learn to do things on your own.  You learn to hold up your head and walk in a room by yourself.  Imagine yourself as a supermodel.  You have to project confidence and become more social.  At least I did.  Start the conversation.  Host the party.  Plan an activity.  I had to become more outgoing and assertive.  This was a good thing for me.

The hardest thing for me was not having my children around 24/7.  At first he would do things with them and take them places but now that they are bigger and meaner (teenagers--ha ha) he rarely sees them so it is rare that I am by myself.  Ever.

What do you mean by single?  Once a man asked me if I was single and I said well I am divorced and he said do you have a boyfriend and I said well yes I do and then the man said I knew you were not single and therefore available.  ??? I always assumed single meant not married.  I have a boyfriend but I consider myself single.  Am I correct?

SAM