WomanSavers.com Forum / GENERAL / Happy Monday!

I hope you all had a good weekend.  Mine was busy with doing housework.  I am not a clutterer!  LOL!

The ex called me and wanted to know if I had seen or heard from Carl.  Carl hadn‘t been home for 4 days and he thought he might be here with me.  I told him that Carl was not welcome here since he preferred the abuse.  I did tell the ex that if Carl called, I would give him the message, but that I was not going out of my way to perpetuate a bad situation.

At the campground, Carl would see me and break down in tears and a couple of times he tried to approach me and I walked away.  He had bruises on his arms and legs and it looked like he had some marks around his neck like hands had been around it.

Their tentsite was quite a way from mine and my friends so I didn‘t have to look out the window and see them constantly.  However, some friends who were camped across from them said that the verbal abuse from the ex was tremendous.  Loud arguments and slaps.  One of the friends, who knew Carl and I had been together, told Carl how bad he f*(ked up.  Said that Carl just started crying.

The ex was rather short with me during the phone conversation, but when he thought he was going to verbally assault me, I ended the conversation with the fact that he might get away with his abuse from others but not from me.  Let him know real quick that I wasn‘t attached to him and I would report him to the authorities if he ever called my home again.

Just told him he needs to take care of things himself and that I would be no help at all in their situation.

Hi Texas Sexy!

You know, if you‘re done with your house, I could use a hand over here.  All this time I thought that I was on strike - and here it‘s just an allergy.  Sniff.

Too bad about Carl.  I just hope the ex isn‘t bullshitting you, calling to ask of his whereabouts.  Hope that the ex hasn‘t done anything to warrant the involvement of cadaver dogs...

Any idea of where he might be?

Good for you!!

You dont have to put up with his shit!!

BustySpumonte wrote:

OMG!  Where did you find him?  He would look so good on my sofa or in front of the fireplace.  Nothing like a manskin rug to lay on!  LOL!

Thank you for sending this!  I know we ALL will enjoy it (him)!

Hey Cowboy!  Wow, I did housework all weekend too.  Since my husband had to get up early both days to open the shop, I got up and started cleaning, from 6:30 until he came home both evenings....late.  Boy, my bedroom looks like a new place, so does my laundry room.  WHEEE!  It wore me down though.

I think you handled the situation well.  I too hope that the ex isn‘t covering for something on the dark side.  Perhaps Carl got away from him and is hiding though.  I wonder what drew him back.  You‘re such a great person. 

My prayers go out to you.  I know you‘ve been through a lot of heartbreak.  You are a strong man who knows how to take care of you....keep doing that. 

Much love to you.

Well, I have a doggie named Cricket.  Cricket sheds.  So, I vacuum every other day and I dust constantly.  I have glass-chrome-marble coffee and end tables.  Also, Cricket likes the chair, so her fur gets down in the area between the seat and the back..  The sofa, loveseat, and chair are black and gray leather.

Also, I change my sheets every other day.  I don‘t like to sleep on sheets that are over two days on the bed.  I use a new towel and washcloth each day.

Am I eccentric or what?  LOL!!!!  I wonder sometimes if I have OCD.

ME, I will come and clean your house from roof to basement.  I think you would be pleased with my work, too.  All it would cost you is the airfare and the meals.  I‘m not cheap, but I am affordable!  HAHHAAHAHAHH!

I don‘t think the ex is bullshitting me.  I don‘t think he would have called unless something really happened.  We were never really friendly.  Just sort of a toleration.  He was never in my circle of friends.  He is too crude.  And, with his temper, who knows if he really did harm Carl enough to put him in the hospital or ????.  And, all this after anger management!

I have no idea where he might be.  I do know that if he called, I would find out and go and get him and get him someplace safe.  Just not at my house.  I don‘t want that emotional involvement.

Pandora,

Carl had all the love, care, and compassion from me that anyone would ever want.  I just don‘t have the material things that the ex had.  A big fine home, state of the art vehicle with every electronic device made to date, a pool, etc.  All I have is me, a home that is paid for, and a sailboat.  Well, I have a little pickup truck, too.

I had posted on another thread that Carl grew up dirt poor and the material things mattered. 

He knows he screwed up, but once I burn a bridge, it stays burned.  I am not a yo-yo and will oscillate back and forth.  I deserve better.  I also deserve respect since I give respect to those who have earned it.

Carl knew he had been abused by the ex.  He had been abused by the other two partners he had in his life prior to the ex.  He was their playtoy and they would treat him like crap.

Carl made his decision.  I mentioned that at the campout he approached me a couple of times (really several) and I would walk away when I saw him coming.  He yelled one time for to stop and to please talk to him that he needed someone to listen to him.  I just turned and looked at him and shook my head no. 

I do hope he is safe.  I do hope that one day he will find happiness.  I do hope that he will find someone to love him.  But, until he loves himself, he will never have those things.  They aren‘t material things.

Deal!  Cinnamon buns are in the oven as I type.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!  I can smell ‘em from here!  I made a Shrimp Creole over the weekend.  Had some friends (Marty, Jeff, and Tom) over.  Had a nice green salad with a New Orleans style dressing, crusty French bread, bread pudding (home made!), Hurricanes as pre dinner cocktails, a nice white wine with dinner, and a nice port wine with dessert.  Then I made a big pot of Louisiana coffee.  That is coffee with chicory and made cafe au lait.  Was a really nice evening.  Those guys have been my friends for many years.

This coming Sunday, I am making shrimp with a Remoulade sauce.  It is the appetizer for the meat loaf, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, and pineapple cake that Jeff is making at his house.  Hope he doesn‘t get too drunk and forget to cook it!  LOL!!!!

I had a missed call on my cell phone and when I looked at it, it was a number I didn‘t know.  They left a voice message and it was Carl.  He is at a motel in a bad part of Dallas and wants me to come and pick him up and take him somewhere he can get help.  I will call him when I get off work.  He left a number.  I will not be telling the ex, either.  I don‘t want to hear of a murder.  If Carl actually does leave this time, he will probably have to have the cops go with him to retrieve his things.  I will take him to a "safe house".  Someone (don‘t recall who) on here gave me a couple of sources and I have them written down at home. 

Carl left a chef like you?!  What a moron. I hope that he can make some wise choices this time. 

What is New Orleans style dressing?  I‘m assuming that it‘s something pretty spicy.  I remember the very first time I had nachos in a restaurant - I couldn‘t understand why the ‘pickles‘ were burning my lips.

And I‘ve got the nerve to call Carl a moron...

hey cowboy! well, i hope everything works out for carl, but sadly, he seems to be drawn to these kinds of relationships.

and good for you for not putting up with abuse for a second! i know that abuse happens alot in the gay community, and it sucks that it goes unreported so many times. i know alot of my gay friends say its because the cops dont really care about gay domestic abuse. im sure if i were a gay man, i would probably be a little embarrassed to call the cops, too. just like men who are abused by women are afraid to call.

i hope carl ends up ok, but only do what you can for him. he chose this life, and now he must clean it up, if he has the desire. it sounds like if he doesnt get out soon, it may be too late.

Cajun Style Dressing by Dale/TxCwoboy

1/2 cup mayo, 1 cup sour cream, 1 tablespoon (or to taste) Tony Chachere Cajun Seasoning, whisk well and while whisking drizzle REAL cream into it until a nice pouring consistency.  Put in the fridge to get it good and cold.  Serve over fresh salad greens.

I created that myself.  Got tired of the same ole dressings all the time.

I don‘t hate Carl.  I just actions.  Yep, he screwed up!  Will post separately about last night.

He is safe for right now.  Will post in a minute what happened last night.  My therapist said we seek relationships that are the samve over and over because we feel that is what we deserve.  I believe that.  I don‘t think he knew how to accept someone thinking he was important, too, and he didn‘t know how to handle it.  And, the material things.

You are correct that it happens a lot in the gay community.  More than anyone would know.  And, the police could give a shit.  It‘s just a "couple of queers" to them.  Even though being gay is no longer against the law, the cops haven‘t gotten then news yet, but then, what do you expect.  I am not a real police supporter.  If they had their way, down here in the DFW area, we would be living in a police state.

Yes, he has to get counseling.  Maybe even hospitalization.  I told him he needs to get medical and emotional help soon.

Thank you!  I‘m going to try that - sick of paying 5 bucks for a bottle of the Paul Newman stuff.  Although the proceeds go to charity, the family won‘t touch anything but PN now.

Snooty lot, huh?!

I‘ve got a special treat in store for them the first time I ever hear "Pass the Grey Poupon, please"...  

Now, for the main report.

I called Carl at the motel.  He said he was scared where he was.  It was an old broken down motel in south Dallas where there are hookers and druggies.  Said he was afraid for his life both at home and where he was.

I asked what he wanted to do?  He said he wanted to get someplace safe.  Asked if I would come and get him.  Told him I would come and get him, but take him to a safe house somewhere.  Since I wasn‘t home and didn‘t have access to the places someone on here kindly gave me, I called a friend who told me of a place in the Oak Lawn section of Dallas (predominantly gay) that would take him in.

I got to the motel and he got in the truck and the bruises were turning that greenish color as they heal.  He had a black eye, scabby scratches on his face.  He was a mess.  I am glad I didn‘t see it when it had just happened.  I didn‘t ask what happened.  And, he asked me if I wanted to know.  I told him no.  I told him it was his business and that my role here was to get him to a safe place.  he asked if he could stay the night at my house and I told him no that I didn‘t have the material things he needed for survival.

As we were driving to the safe house, I told him that he needed to get counseling and medical help immediately.  I also told him that he needed to take his medication as prescribed.  I told him he could call and let me know how things are going, but that if he went back to the ex‘s house to not ever bother calling me again.  I don‘t need all that in my life since I am getting my life together after being dumped by him.  I told him he really had a lot of nerve expecting me to do this for him.  He said he was sorry, but that he thought things had changed with the ex.  I told him he was a liar, a user, and a player and that he did all three to me.  I told him that since the material things are so important in his life, then he deserves what he gets.  I also told him that "being cute" doesn‘t last forever and he will find himself alone or dead.

I got him to the safe house.  Told him that he needed to get the authorities to go with him to get his things out of the ex‘s house.  Told him that if he goes back to live, I will send flowers to the funeral and a card to his family.  I told him that the ex will probably kill him or cause him such harm he would wish he was dead.  He looked at me and cried.  I told him that he is old enough to know what to do and that I was no longer involved in his life other than to know he is OK and seeking help.  but, that if he doesn‘t seek help, then don‘t bother me or contact me.  I don‘t have time for it and won‘t be used.

I hope your tuff love helps him.

You still helping him after he hurt you shows what a good man you are.

Wow Tx,  I hope you realize just what a special guy you really are.