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Guy Details for  Jay Brown

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His legal name is EVERETT RAYMOND BROWN JR, but he usually goes by JAY BROWN. This photo of him is decades old, possibly from his “Edgemeade” days in Upper Marlboro, MD [which he said he was in that institution for breaking into cars. I interpreted that as meaning “car theft.” If any gay guy recognizes him from this photo, from those times, and had sex with him, please post a comment. In my strong opinion, he is an emotional/sexual/psychological abuser, imposter, predator, script~flipper & gaslighter who loved downgrading or badmouthing women to have them feel like they cannot get anyone better than his sorry, no underwearing, acne~scarred, hemorrhoid~having carcass [and yes..anyone with shallow emotions, who fakes loving women, like him, is a carcass..not alive!] He seemed to have turned all his friends [some of them my friends, too] against me for reasons I still do not know. I had lived with him for 8.5 years, in Manassas, VA. In 2000, my last year with him, I found his emails, to/from a swingers site that he had joined, advertising himself as bi seeking bi sex with men, and found his ad on that site. I kept the proof. I had a long phone conversation with his 1st wife, Pattie. She told me that two of her gay male friends had told her that they had had sex with him. Apparently, he had also had sex with the wife of a neighbor of theirs. She also told me that he wanted to switch sexual roles with her [role play], to have her be the guy and he be the woman, asked her if she would wear his underwear and for him to wear hers. He tried the same crap on me..donned my wig one time, and my underwear and bra. Do not kid yourself, something is wrong “upstairs” with Jay. He has an history of honking after married women, an history alcoholism, a juvie history, history of foreclosure on his marital home with 2nd wife, went bankrupt while living with me, history of using illegal substances, and had two failed marriages behind him before he lived with me. He rented/ bought nasty porn when he lived with me, seemed to have “porn creep” and seemed, toward the end that he could not get aroused without first viewing gay male porn and other raunchy porn. He told me that his sister, Dulce [oldest of five older sisters] helped him pay off his bills to the lawyer who handled his 2nd divorce. I also saw the legal document that he and Paula, another of his sisters, signed, stating that, should he go bankrupt, he would not be able to write off his debt to her of $17,000 if he went bankrupt. He did go bankrupt while living with me. He did not show me that document until he had lived with me for many years. He is probably much balder by now, and closing in on age 60. Besides his joining that swingers site while living with me, he also had an affair with a MARRIED woman. I think his affair began with her one year or more, before he ended things with me, and while he was house painting for her. She had pretended to be a friend of mine for about two years, when Jay and I were invited to her home, for jazz jams with her then husband, Ed Rejuney. Her name is Melinda Carol Yalom. By now she may have married the twice~divorced fool. Jay told me that, when he was age 12, his gay male cousin, Paul Brown [SEE http://datingpsychos.com/psycho/PaulBrown/5304], had oral sex with him. He also told me that his sister, Linda, let him watch while she masturbated. He also told me that he learned from his niece, Holly Holstrom [daughter to another sister to Jay, Jeannine], that his father would come into her bedroom when she was a teen, to try to fondle/molest her. If all these things occurred, then there was some serious INCEST going on in that family. He deserves to be profiled up here.
= Totally Disagree
= Mostly Disagree
= Could go either way
= Mostly Agree
= Totally Agree


1/26/2011 9:45:01 AM - I also suspect that Jay probably has more than one mental disorder, such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Disassociative Identity Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Schizoaffective Disorder. His ad for casual sex on that swingers site, in 2000, when he ADVERTISED HIMSELF AS BISEXUAL, informed: “Hi, I’m a SbiM iso someone to share my other side with. I’m a 48 yo, 6’4” 230lbs, good looking I think healthy, discreet, regular guy. N. Va. Area Manassas.I like 69, j/o” The title for his ad? “BiMale iso a Man” The ad ID number back then was “Jay 1248” ..Correction..the photo above was probably taken AFTER his Edgemeade days, and around the time he lived with his first wife, or around the time he met her. I have no idea why the other two profiles I had up here, with other old photos of him, came down since yesterday, but I will repost them, when I can. This jerk cheated on his first two wives and cheated on me. He also cheated on Evelyn Vignola, the woman he lived with before his two wives. This happened when I was between ages 17 & 18, in Great Falls, VA. I was at the Big Joke house, where he lived with Evelyn, but Jay forgot to tell me he lived with her until AFTER he got naked, trying to have sex with me [he could not get it up, then.] He is a SERIAL CHEATER and SERIAL ADULTERER. I also think Jay is a THIEF. He told me that he stole the Cottage Lane [Fairfax County property, I think] street sign, from the street where he said he once lived with his 2nd wife, Lorrie [maiden name, Walters.] Pattie, wife #1, told me that Jay once lived on that street with her, too. So I am thinking he possibly overlapped Lorrie & Pattie, too. Jay said that he tried to find Pattie, to return her antique/heirloom bed, but “could not find her”. Pattie said he did not try or did not try hard enough to find her to return it to her. Jay said that the bed ended up in the bedroom of his daughter, Jolene. Pattie also said that she never gave Jay that baby photo of her, that he kept at the base of his lamp, in his workshop, on our back porch in Manassas. When I first began dating Jay, he ran a shop with his 2nd wife, called Stone Art, in Canterbury Square, in Manassas. I had asked if he would sell my heavy gold wedding ring on consignment. It went mysteriously “missing” after that. He knows how to melt down gold. So shocked was I, when he was moving out of our home, that I gave him a blond wood tiki bar, with a black top, that my father had given me. Yes, I gave it to him, but he did not seem to object to taking yet one more thing from me. I also found, hidden in his ledger book, a half nude photo of me, that he had snapped without my express permission. I took it back. I wondered why he would want a photo of my naked breasts, when he said they reminded him of a “wall~eyed dog”. The photo showed me trying to avoid having my photo taken, my head turned away, whipping my hair around, so that he could not capture my face. To me, he is no better than a sick perverted gigolo. Pattie said that during her relationship with Jay, he also asked if she would wear a strap~on penis, to do him in the rear [which I feel sure she refused.] SICK REPROBATE PERVERT! SEE other profiles up here and on dontdatehimgirl.com for EVERETT RAYMOND BROWN JR.

1/26/2011 4:15:00 PM - To get a better idea of what he looked like, when he lived with me, see URLs to the dontdatehimgirl.com profiles I posted on Jay: http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84065/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84063/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84057/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89815/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89817/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89811/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89800/ http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84064/ Often, I thought those gifts of jewelry Jay gave me or bought for me were like “antecedent” or “premeditated” guilt gifts, for something that would “assuage” his guilty conscience [if he even has one] for when he was about to abuse me sexually/psychologically/spiritually. Or it may be that, on the side and behind the scenes, he is partaking in his other life, possibly sexing men or swingers! He had advertised for same activities. E.g., he took me on a day trip to D.C…, said we would possibly visit galleries, book stores, etc. Once we were in D.C., on the way to a bookstore, he bought me some silver earrings from Afghanistan, w/green agate in them, from a street vendor. Only a few minutes after that that we arrived to that “book store” he knew about. The book store turned out to be a GAY BOOK STORE, unknown to me, before we arrived. After he told me “it is over”, possibly on that same day or days later, he ADMITTED that in his youth, he used to meet up with gay guys for sex. It was AS IF HE WAS LAUGHING AT ME..to say, “ha ha..you never knew..pulled one over on you, did I not?” Jay will possibly tell you I am loco or that I am just angry b/c he no longer wanted me. His 1st wife gave me her phone #, had me call her, & she told me who/what he really is, which aligned w/what I already learned about him, from many painful years living w/him. He hid his “other side” very well, for 8.5 years w/me. He also embarrassed me in front of our friends. Happened more than once. He had invited a jazz guitarist we had both met to our home. It seemed he did not want this guitarist to know about my musical talents, even though Jay probably knew he was about to abandon me, thus leave the jazz group we had formed together [I found most of the gigs we were almost a house band, for one year, at one bed & breakfast, & were gaining more gigs/venues], which would leave me w/o a guitarist & in a fix. Jay insulted my home décor, remarked to the jazz guitarist that it was “busy” looking. That same jazz guitarist had invited Jay to his church. Jay said he told the guitarist that church made him feel uncomfortable. To my chagrin, the jazz guitarist told Jay that he thought my décor looked pleasant. I also ended up befriending same guitarist, & hired him to perform with me, years later, for concerts & club venues. I think part of Jay’s M.O. is to build a woman up only to break her down years later, to leave her with lower confidence, sensual/sexual & personal/professional than she had before he came into her life..that he is JEALOUS of women because he WANTS TO BE A WOMAN, so hates it when the limelight is on anyone but himself. I think he likes to see the “fireworks” when he pits woman against woman, because possibly, w/five older sisters & he being the only male sibling, he could not control the “fireworks” in his family dynamics, so he wants to “re~create” the scenario so he can look back to see/control the “fireworks” between women. He told me, early in our relationship, that when he was a young boy, he would hide under a table, covering his ears & cry, when he heard his sisters arguing. He also told me that his sisters paid him $ to wash their panty hose. It occurred to me, years later, that the gut feeling I had when he made that silver bib necklace with charoite cabachons, was when he began his affair with Melinda Yalom [when she was MARRIED!] I later suspected he might have been making it for her, but when I told him I liked it..asked if I could have it [probably was around Valentines Day, my birthday or Christmas], he gave it to me. Another GUILT gift? Jay also told me, around the time he was divorcing his 2nd wife, that his 2nd father~in~law, Lu Walters, wanted to put him out of business permanently, & told me that Lorrie, wife #2, told him that he had ruined [or nearly ruined..it was so long ago, I do not recall his exact words] her line of credit.

1/26/2011 5:04:04 PM - He was so disgusting to try to blame me, not copping to his infidelities, he said that I made him “choose” between me and his family. Well, I did not “make” him have me help pay for the roof over the head of his daughter, for every other weekend, with few exceptions, for 8.5 years, when he had his custody time with her. I did not “make” him use me as a babysitter for his daughter. I was extremely generous with her. I let her girlfriends stay overnight whenever she wanted. I was not bossy with her. I did not try to be her “parent” [she already had two], I merely tried to be her friend/mentor and sounding board when things went wrong. I curled her hair for a high school dance, gave her little presents each year, and she and I often hugged each other. He accused me of “impugning” his manhood, when he impugned HIS OWN manhood. He said that my magnanimity was “ingenuous” when it was really HIM who was the INGRATE, especially when, between my IT contract jobs, for a whole season, I worked in his 2nd Stone Art shop, on Battle Street, in Manassas, FOR NO PAY, while he drove cabs to stay afloat. I helped him set up his jewelry tables at trade shows and strip malls. I also helped him shore up his waning confidence during his messy divorce/bankruptcy, helped him get through the grief over his sister, Dulce dying, and helped his in home jewelry repair business that he conveniently took up in our home, and since he could not, for many months, get his own phone, I had to ween his customers from calling our number, until he got his own phone number. Conveniently for him, all the utility bills were in MY name. I know for a fact that he probably saved himself more than $21,000, across 8.5 years, storing his rock shop inventory in our garage [98 percent of the stuff in there was his, not mine], because one of the two part~time jobs I held, after he left, was in property management, renting out those spaces to people, when they were between homes. Does anyone smell a USER/ABUSER here? I think everything he PROJECTED onto me, playing the “blame game” were things of which HE was really guilty. I mean, come on..at age 40+, he was living with his elderly mother when he began dating me, when legally separated from wife #2, and I will bet my bottom dollar he did not help her with mortgage payments, either.He seemed to have problems holding down a job with a regular paycheck [I do not mean those piecemeal jobs he did, painting houses and occasional carpentry stints, or jewelry repair jobs like a gypsy would do. I also doubt if he was bonded to do that kind of work.], so seemed to prey on women who were more stable than he was, financially, creditwise and jobwise, .. would rather have a homeowner as a lover than a non~homeowner. He told me once that because of his alcoholic history, he could not get jobs with Fedex or UPS. My guess is that when he found his next naïve prey after me, who fell for him and who would not find out about him soon enough, he would marry her fairly quickly, before she could wise onto him. My bet is he is after more than just her sexual assets. Seemingly, he uses female lovers/wives with whom he lives to live off of for support, puts them in debt, then leaves them with nothing. Oh, and if Melinda thinks Jay is the “wonderful handyman” .. just wait and see if HER house gutters fall down when/if he forgets to clean the leaves out of them. That is what happened to the gutter on the house where we were BOTH on the lease, which he broke. What resulted was that I had to forfeit, to the landlord, much of the security deposit extra month of rent that I FULLY PAID when we first moved in there, and Jay failed to pay me for half of that, when he broke the lease. Seemed like he had no true motivation in life and was just is waiting for a “rich” girl to carry him. I also think he lets females fight his battles for him, like cowards do. Examples? His daughter, after us hugging each other many years & exchanging gifts, she sent me hate mail to tell me I was a worthless piece of skin, after he left me..after all the years I helped pay for the roof over her head! Or when, after years of feeling loved by his mother, she suddenly sent this little book [I forgot the name of it], about how the passionate cycle ends with all couples, so, more or less, I should expect no more passion from him..passion from him..yahdee yada. Anyone seen the film, Children of the Corn, or the other one, The Manchurian Candidate? Well, I thought that his mother went from years of being like Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith Show, to morphing into the Manchurian Candidate’s mother.Like my elderly widower/US Marine said about Jay, “he knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.” When I told Patrick about Jay having told me he [Jay] faked being gay to get out of the Vietnam draft, Patick said, "he must have not had to fake it very much."

1/26/2011 7:45:28 PM - Jay also stooped to emotional blackmail goading/baiting, too, I think, accused me, in a smutty email his last to me of being a homophobe. It came after I confronted him by email. I’d written that I hoped he wasn’t boffing little boys in those empty homes he’d been hired to paint. He replied, on Oct. 3, 2000 with, “Where was all this selfrighteous fervor when you were soaking your panties watching lesbian porno movies??? Do I detect a bit of hypocracy here? I wonder who would be interested in that bit of truth?” His email address back then was EBrown1762@aol.com. Yes. Once or twice I watched films with “lesbians” in them, with him. One was not a “porn” film, per se, and one that anyone could rent at Blockbusters, another was a film about derelict artists in New York, that Jay had chosen for us to watch, and had one lesbian theme in it. But he exaggerated, later, as if to make me out to be a lesbian, which I am not one. My male therapist thought that email of Jay’s was the worst he had ever seen. And I think that any woman, once Jay is done with her, will need to see a therapist .. possibly for many years. He was the one always renting/buying porn films, from adult video stores, not me. Those videos were mostly about gay males or female lesbians, in orgies together.He might try to flip the script to say I was a gold digger. Before getting involved with this male, do a thorough background check and/or contact me. Paperwork talks, BS walks. I have all the proof you need in black & white to make you stay clear of his sick mess, who, in my opinion, is a CLOSET MANGINA who is morally bankrupt & stops at nothing to get what he wants, even if it means hurting others along the way. In the first couple months of him dating me, he was stopped for peeing in public by two Manassas City policemen. It happened in the alley behind his Stone Art shop. The dummy could have used his key & gone back inside to use the restroom in his shop, instead, but noooo. I was red as a beet with embarrassment. In some states, that activity is considered a sex offense. Then there was that page with his own handwriting, in his spiral paper notebook/journal that I found, before he left, which I Xeroxed. He wrote that he “could never love just one woman” and felt “like a fraud”.. that is because he IS a fraud. The precise repercussions he has on others are not immediately discernable, it may take years, possibly as long as a decade or more, before they all surface. He is adept at lulling women into a false sense of security. The reason I have all these old photos of him was because I had been kind enough to assemble a photo album for him of his past, so that he might see come continuum in his life, & be glad to have found reasons to finally set down roots, to stop his roaming ways & roving eyes. I had made a copy of the photos in case, one day, his daughter went to college and wanted them for herself. The original album I had assembled included one photo with Jay holding the hand of his young son, James, while on the beach [I discovered that photo missing when I got back home, after I had gone on a 2~day trip to Richmond for training, to learn Quark Express.] But, you see, I found a better purpose for some of those photos. He finally admitted to me, in the last month we spoke, that in his younger days, he had hooked up with gay males for sex. If I recall correctly, he told me that he had met them in places like theaters, books stores, public parks, clubs, restrooms, etc. What you have with him is not “informed consent” when he fails to tell you, for years, how many sex partners he has had, and if/when he had those encounters with MEN. No. It amounts to EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL RAPE! He can be violent, too. Once, during an argument with him, he threw a set of keys toward my head/facial areas, when we were sitting at the dining room table. They landed on the wall behind me & made a hole in the wall that he later spackeled/painted to hide the hole. Another time, he lifted his fist as if to hit me. I told him that if one finger landed on my body, I would call 911 so fast, it would make his head spin.

1/29/2011 12:56:33 PM - In my opinion, Jay “harassed” me by “harassing” my elderly father. He called my father, telling my father to tell me not to “harass” him, I think b/c I had sent out several letters to several of Jay’s friends, each containing a copy of his ad on that swingers site he had joined, & I had circled Jay’s email address, as proof, with a Red Sharpie marker. I think Jay also “harassed” my brother by calling my brother to tell me [or so I interpret] that I should not have filed a workers comp complaint against my former boss, Ezra Yu, a “friend” of his, and when that complaint was a legitimate complaint, when I was crime victimized at my former work place. In the first few months of living together, he told me that his first wife, Pattie, cheated on him. He flipped the script..LYING. It was HIM who cheated on Pattie. You should have heard nasty things he said behind the backs of some of his friends. John Leigh was in at least two bands [Change of Heart & Night Patrol] with Jay…, supposedly was one of Jay’s best buddies for years. He said about John Leigh’s guitar playing technique, “he plays guitar like he’s carrying two pails full of water” .. about Bruce Turner’s [Bruce was the jazz guitarist with us, in the first trio I formed, in the mid 1990s] capacity to learn new jazz tunes, Jay said, “Bruce’s eyes would glaze over whenever I tried to get him to learn [something new]” About Julia Leigh [John Leigh’s wife], he said Julia was “clinically depressed” [because of John’s personality or behavior] About John Leigh, he said John’s first wife left him to become a lesbian [possibly true, but so what] About Jill, female singer who was in one of his former bands [Change of Heart], he said Jill, before she married, used to do phone sex [those 900 number calls?] for a living. I easily compare Jay to the male psycho in the film, “The Dirt Digger” and to the female psycho, Lilith, in the film by same name, starring Warren Beatty. Pattie compared Jay to the psycho in Silence of the Lambs, when I spoke with her. Sometime in Sept of 2009, I think before I noticed on the internet, that Jay supposedly got engaged to Melinda, I had tried to warn Melinda’s relative, Abraham Yalom. I left a voicemail for Abraham, letting him know I had spoken to Pattie, Jay’s 1st wife, and found out what I did from her. My message included that if he really wanted to know who Jay was, he could read the profiles up here, on DDHG or on dontdatethisguy.com. On that same day, later, I got a call from Jay. His voice was shaking and he seemed vexed, as if he was about to deal me some verbal abuse. I hung up immediately when hearing his voice, and blocked his phone calls from then on. You should too. Remember when the minister said, “if you know reasons why this couple should not be joined in matrimony, Speak now or forever hold your peace”? I would be the first in line to stand and speak out, so no more women could ever again be abused by this freak/clown, b/c I do not think he operates on “all four cylinders” .. if you catch my drift. It would not surprise me if it was Jay who made those breather calls to my place of work for the City of Manassas, that I logged for five months [many of them], but finally had to ask my boss for a caller ID detection, to see who made those calls. I was let go after 5 mos. b/c of my complaint, though the job would have probably ended, eventually, because I stood in for a permanent worker on disability. But if he was the breather caller [READ: STALKER], that was illegal. If so, that was a shame, too, since that job was only 5 blocks from our home, & paid well. I also suspect it was also Jay who, w/in three years, broke the driver side mirror to my car [vandalism/retaliation]. Though I cannot prove it. I wisely/consequently thought to rent a garage space from a neighbor, so that will never happen again. Do not be surprised if any MALE ONLY pipe~smoking club he joined is really a ruse for more down low activities.

1/29/2011 2:15:04 PM - If no one believes that ugly e~mail that Jay sent to me, [that I still keep safe] was Emotional Blackmail, he/she should read: http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_blackmail.htm, “Emotional Blackmail & Emotional Freedom [ ] End Manipulation and Compliance by Martyn Carruthers. Next are a few excerpts from it: “Emotional blackmail is abuse. Like other forms of abuse, it is usually motivated by a desire to manipulate or control, often by people who claim good intentions. Some victims of emotional blackmail may perceive their abuse as normal, although all forms of emotional abuse have heavy consequences” “Emotional blackmail includes excessive demands, punishment for normal behavior, unwanted displays of attachment {love} and withholding affection or care. The damage caused by this emotional abuse often manifests as dysfunctional relationship habits and suffering. We help people to gain emotional freedom and develop emotional maturity” “Emotional blackmail are attempts to influence or control by manipulating emotions. Emotional blackmail often follows a cycle of Demands ~ Resistance ~ Pressure ~ Threats ~ Compliance ~ Repeat” “Abusive Victims [ ] Abusers often justify their emotional blackmail with fear abusers are often afraid to lose something important material or immaterial that their victims provide. This can include the loss of a home, access to money, the loss of credibility, the loss of a partner, sexual intimacy and the loss of parenting opportunities, etc. Most people who resort to emotional blackmail fear losing something” “To gain coercion, compliance and dominance, abusers may: 1. Act like victims 2. Make angry threats 3. Install limiting beliefs 4. Block the victim''''''''s goals 5. Disguise abuse as humor 6. Withhold essential information 7. Forget promises or agreements 8. Contradict their victim''''''''s perspectives 9. Invalidate their victim''''''''s reality and perceptions 10. Trivialize their victims thoughts and achievements” Emotional blackmailers also get others to ally with them, to have them share their way of thinking, or perspectives, to abuse victims.Jay will use you for whatever you have, a car, money, a house, and once he is done with you, he will leave you stranded, destitute, broke, unemployed or close to it. When your money runs out, so will he. He even used me to baby sit his daughter. Just try faking being poor for a few months, and see what happens. When he said “its over” he flipped the script on me, to say he needed someone to “roll up her sleeves” when he knew I “rolled up” my sleeves for all those years, paying my fare share of the bills. He even suggested that I would need a psychologist, when it is him who really needs serious psychological help. He was seeing a counselor, Michael Borash, before he met me and for a few weeks when he began dating me. I know this, because I had a rendezvous with Jay, in front of the offices where Borash practiced. Jay also attended AA meetings when we first began dating. He stopped attending meetings after he moved in with me, or at least I never heard him say he was going to any AA meetings, after that. He lied about that burn scar on his forearm. In the beginning, he said it came from burning himself with his jewelers torch. At the end of our relationship, he said the scar really came from days of his youth, playing “chicken” with another teen boy, cigarette lit between their arms, to see who could hold it there the longest. Self~harming is one trait of a Borderline Personality disordered person. If Jay lied about those little things, now think of the larger things he lied about in his life. His lies are pathological. His mother went halvsies with me a couple of times, buying him his leather jacket, LL Bean slippers, for Xmas or birthday gifts, but I bought him black dress shirts for his band jobs, expensive Italian silk ties, tropical shirts & other clothes, for years, and for what? So he could look all Dapper Dan to go seduce the next woman? I assure you, he does not respect the institution of marriage, given his track record..not his marriages on the court dockets, not common~law marriages, either [several in our former mutual friendship networks thought of us as common~law married, including Bruce Turner, & our next~door married/elderly Christian neighbors, Patrick & Martha.] Pattie, his first wife, told me that when she got pregnant, he would not even help her name the baby. She was left no other choice but abortion, which left her with an infection so she could no longer conceive of children from her body. To add insult to injury, her Catholic father told her "girls who have abortions should not be believed" ..do the math before becoming involved with this monster.

1/29/2011 3:55:01 PM - I will always think of Melinda Yalom as a back~stabbing adulteress who pretended to be my friend for 2 years. She deserves every bit of heartache/anguish that will inevitably come her way. Hope she experiences the anguish/humiliation I endured, when having to get tested, twice, with 6 months between tests, for the deadly AIDS/HIV, crying meanwhile, in a clinic where derelicts go to also be tested. I asked him to get a test and he refused. She was the last of his victims to be suckered by his brainwashing/deceit. When I finally wised up to his ways, it took years, & felt like I had been deprogrammed after being sucked in by a sex cultist/addict. I was in deep shock. I come from a respectable family with high morals and high work ethics. All three of my brothers are still married to their first and only wives..each of them, each after being married for more than 20 years. Wow, what a contrast to Jay Brown! He ate well on the fat of my family..was invited to many holiday/family events, fed well. My father, retired diplomat, even paid for a Valentines Day weekend trip to Coolfont Resort in WV, as a gift to us, treated us out to many dinners together. Jay & his daughter were even invited to a gratis mini vacation that celebrated my father''''''''''''''''s 80th B~day with my relatives. My father, the gracious man he was, usually had Xmas presents for Jay & Jolene. I will always think of Jay as a sick gigolo. Yes. Because I was deeply in love with him, I bought him clothing. By contrast, I believe he bought me only THREE items of clothing, the entire 8.5 years we lived together [think of that seducing tune of Ry Cooder he sings, “The Tattler” with the lyric about the fool who “goin bout dressin up other women, who wont put clothes on his own wife”!] One black leather dress with straps, and two POLYESTER items. I threw them all out, wanting nothing to remind me of him. I even sold the jewelry he made for me or had another jeweler change the design, not wanting to be reminded of Jay. I believe that Jay envied his former male band members, who married “up” .. so wanted the same for himself. Thing is, I think his male band members did not have a juvie history like Jay had, & at least not two of them, I think, [John Leigh and Rick Burnette, from the former band, Night Patrol, come to mind] had higher education. Jay did not have much college under his belt, if at all. I think he barely graduated high school. He might even only have a G.E.D.. Yet, I think Jay had delusions of grandeur, felt “entitled” to “more” .. envied his male friends, even though he [allegedly] did not have anywhere near the same work ethic or accomplishments that those two band buddies of his had. Jay told me, while still living with me, not long before he broke up with me, that Melinda, his next “muse,” had encouraged him to write. Maybe she encouraged his writing that story about the stripper who lap danced for him [that he submitted to a magazine, but got rejected from same publication, for poor/inappropriate content~~I saw the rejection letter, he was dumb enough to show it to me] about having a lap dance from a stripper RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. This is ONE SICK MOFO, able to mimic emotions & mirror the “qualities” that his next victim wants to see in him. WHY DO YOU THINK HIS 1ST WIFE, SUBSEQUENTLY BECAME A SOCIAL WORKER? My theory is, she wanted to help women who have been abused by creeps like him! I also saved an e~mail from Paul Brown to Jay Brown, that I found around the same time I found the ad Jay Brown placed on that swingers site. It said, “Be careful”.. so I think Paul KNEW about the down low activities of Jay Brown. Anyone think as I do..that there was “collusion” between male cousins? Melinda should ask herself why it was that Jay denied her..denied being her lover, when he called it quits with me. He denied there was anyone else in the picture. She should also ask him why he continued to “make love” with me, for, I think, another year after he had begun his affair with her, still telling me “I love you” , and continued both things right up until a week before he said it was “over”. She should ask herself, “What is wrong with this picture?” She should also ask Jay why he told me, “Your lovemaking is too strong for me” .. because I think when he said that, he was projecting what he felt, from his childhood, about being sexually abused by either his gay male cousin or his sister, Linda, onto me. He should have confronted his relatives, if they had incest with him, to say, “you violated my body and soul”.. not re~enact his “issues” onto me or any other of his adult female partners.

1/30/2011 1:23:12 PM - He loves building a woman up just to tear her down years later. He will be perfect for her if she is the type of woman who likes to be put down in public/private, made fun of, made to feel insane, put on the biggest rollercoaster ride of her life, sponged off in every way possible. Worse, possibly he will get violent with her. He could fake emotions very well..frightening how well..for more than 8 years, all fake, smoke & mirrors..a house of cards. At one point, about two years before he left, he asked me, “Do you think Melinda is the kind of woman who complains too much?” It was as if he were ASKING for my PERMISSION to bed her on the sly, as if my opinion mattered, or as if him getting me to gossip about her was his goal. As long as he knew he could seduce a MARRIED woman away from her [IMOP, pale, homely looking, horsefaced..who turned out to be a coward, too, when leaving me the last to know, & it is not difficult for one coward to “trump” or cuckold another coward] husband, he thought his looks or his [ahem..even w/poor stamina] “endowment” could “trump” what her husband had, even though her husband was a classically trained musician, w/decent work ethic & career path who fawned over her~~was devoted. He will double~bind you, alternate with “you make my blood boil” to “becoming one with you did not bring me that wave of relief” to “I was taken with you” & “that was hot..just like that [Gene Watson] song, Love In The Hot Afternoon” Melinda should ask Ezra Yu, my former boss, why he thought Jay was “sick”. I know Ezra did not mean “physically” sick, either. I have a feeling that Lorrie, wife #2, confided in Ezra about Jay, too. Jay, to me, is sociopathic liar/cheater who will suck you dry of your money/emotions .. a master manipulator who, in the end has a way of making you 2nd~guess yourself! He will turn your life up side down when done w/ you, emotionally & financially. I predict he will leave you with unpaid bills that he helped run up [example, utility bills or broken lease] only to arrive deeply in debt to the bed/home of the next woman, who he seduced months, if not years, before he decided to call it quits w/you. My guess is he still owed his sister, Paula, the greater part of that $17K when he left me. He might do to you as he did to me~~mortify you by getting himself stopped by cops for peeing in the street. You might wonder why he did not wear underwear [at least not when living w/me.] Was it because secretly he might be a flasher, or because not wearing underwear may leave him “easy access” to gay men he might meet in some public restroom, through one of those “glory holes”, hmm? He pulled the shades down so the neighbors would not see through our windows, while he watched [and occasionally jacked off to] gay male porn that he rented/bought, with orgy themes, like gay firefighters, beating off together, in a circle. He will probably deny it until he is blue in the face. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM! I can tell you EXACTLY where he rented/bought those videos.] He has wronged others for years. They paid with deep emotional suffering. I predict he will continue w/those ways of his. And that story he wrote about that stripper lap~dancing for him, that he had the gall to show me when he got home, & tried to have it published, but the publisher rejected it for poor content [around the same time he told me that Melinda was “encouraging him” to write]? [You will have his shit flying your way too, one day, Melinda. Mark my words!] In that story was also a description of this woman he had flirted with RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, at a store we went into, that same weekend he went into the strip club. He went on & on, in that story of his, about getting confirmed by that strange woman who merely smiled at him, about how she found him attractive..like he was throwing it in my face. This behavior is what YOU will get, eventually, too. Do not kid yourself to otherwise.When I expressed concerns, confronted him~~asked point blank about what was going down & why the sudden change of heart [out of the blue], he patronized me, told me that I had “abandonment issues” .. [who would not have abandonment issues when someone who has had a HISTORY of abandoning women, is about to do it again?!] But that was not the end of it. He kept coming back, asked if I wanted to go to the Harville Hendrix “Getting the Love You Want” seminar [said he would pay for it], said “let us not throw the baby out with the bathwater”, treated me to a lunch at a Tavern in Manassas [to ask about the Harville Hendrix date.] Of course he did not mean a thing about Harville Hendrix. It was all B.S. ~~ the typical push~pull trait that I have read about, that persons with Borderline Personality Disorders have. Last, but not least, he dropped by with a “photo art” book about transvestites or transsexuals in the fashion world, that he thought was a “cool find”, written by the wife of Calvin Klein [I was not amused, to say the least.]

2/1/2011 4:08:20 PM - Jay probably sensed that, had he stayed with me after we were still attending parties at the home of Ed & Melinda, where long~time friend to Ed, Carey Creed also appeared, Carey & I would have eventually spoken w/each other, & she would/could have “spilled the beans” about him..the way she did to Ed, eventually. You see, Carey was married to the brother of the first wife [Pattie] of Jay. Pattie tried to warn Melinda through Ed & Carey, but Melinda would not listen. It is a small world, this circle of musicians, and Jay seems to have forgotten that. Also, Carey Creed is still a friend to the husband of my best friend [since age 15]. Carey went steady, long ago, after high school, with the guy my best friend ended up marrying [& is still with, to this day.] The mother~in~law of my best friend once thought so highly of Carey, that she had wanted her son to marry Carey, but changed her mind when she knew that my best friend was the soul mate for her son..CHOSEN by her son. I doubt Carey would lie. She is a beautiful/spiritual soul, accomplished professional musician, whose forte is gospel ballads [piano & vocals]..a highly spiritual individual. Women ARE “in the know” .. & there are at least FOUR of us who know what a bad guy Jay Brown is. One among that four has not come forth yet. The other three have spoken the truth. Mentally ill men can stay hidden for years and will try to destroy our spirits & our sexual/sensual/spiritual confidence. The “women in the know” will know who these frauds are. Jay never met my best friend, either. I was waiting until he proved himself to be the best guy I ever knew, before I introduced him to her, so she would approve. Perhaps had I introduced her to him, she could have clued me in to the “Red Flags” of his down~low life/activities, because the husband before her last also deceived her..he was on the down~low, too, and even made a play, in the middle of the night, for her own brother [who was sleeping on her couch], while under her very roof, when her brother was visiting her. Her brother told her what happened, just like I hope some gay guy will come forward to tell Melinda who/what Jay really is. He will cheat, lie & take from you whatever you are willing to give to him. If you have money he will stay with you until he finds someone that has more money than you. He also admitted to having low self esteem [Gee..wonder why?] I suggest reading “The Marriage Masks: Three types of sociopathic relationships” on lovefraud.com . The blog by “Erdelyi” caught my attention: “sociopaths do any and everything they can to instigate jealousy, fear, suspicion in every relationship he is involved in. The women who are his EXES are still involved. The sociopath gets all the women fighting with each other. This distracts all the individual women from focusing their anger on HIM~ instead they project it onto each other” .. Oh yeah. I completely understand. That is why Jay made it known to me, around the time he moved out, that Melinda thought I was badmouthing him. I was not lying, though. Read the article, then you might understand who I think Jay REALLY is.. a PSYCHOLOGICAL BULLY, a PREDATOR, a SICK FRAUD, & a DOWN~LOW, SOCIOPATH~PERVERT. In my opinion, Jay, leapfrog that he was/is, used me as an “image builder” & I think he did that with Pattie & Lorrie, too, then Melinda, after me. When I caught him masturbating to that gay male orgy porn, he had this maniacal smile on his face while LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME, as if I had his approval or he had my approval or something [he did not have my approval]. He will to this to YOU, Melinda..will do it behind your back, if not RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! He will to this to YOU, Melinda..will do it behind your back, if not RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! He ALLIED with you to hurt yet the soul of one more woman. You are just as bad as he is, & I promise you, he will turn you into some permutation of a fag hag or beard, without your even knowing/wanting it! In fact, around the time I found those to/from swingers site emails of his, someone probably thought I was him, sent an instant message, asking,”Do you have a beard?” .. probably one of those guys on the buddy list of his I found. Do not call me a liar or badmouther, Melinda. The longer you live with him, the longer it will take to heal from the shock he will leave you with, even after you have ripped his fake mask off. He has ruined the lives of enough women! Three was enough, was it not? What the hell were you thinking? Watch out in case he has more than one cell phone. One slick trick that predators use is to disguise the phone numbers of women under names of guys, on their cell phones. I say he is mentally unstable!

2/2/2011 10:30:12 AM - At first, he presents as a great guy, but has serious issues you need to beware of. He definitely has some deep psychological issues that have affected him & others, all his life. Many of these he will “transfer” or project on you, as in “TAG, YOU ARE IT”. He introduced me to his sisters & mother early in the relationship, but that was only to boost his credibility. He will virtually & emotionally cheat on you & use you for his own needs. He will ask you to do disgusting things just to benefit himself & he is emotionally bankrupt. Yes, he is charming/convincing. Most think so at first, even the male musicians he worked with [one bass player we worked with, Jim, remarked on what a “musicians musician” & a good guy Jay was. I will bet Jim does not think so now, after I sent him a Xeroxed copy of that swingers ad Jay placed!], but do not let him mislead you. He is no good for anyone. The sick porn~viewing habits he had and probably still has do not “mix” with any stable personality or relationship that I know of. Only pathetic men call their women a bitch & put their hands on them; he did the former to me & almost did the latter. He lived w/his elderly mother when we began our relationship b/c, I allege, he walked out on his family when he was not ready for the responsibility of being an adult. He did it to wife #1 & he did it to wife #2. He was legally separated when I began dating him, yet he tried, in the end, to make it seem as though I was the home wrecker, which I was not. Debby, Janet [he told me that Janet was married, that he had, or tried to have an affair with her, but she told him, “I do not want your problems to become mine”] came before me. Janet is possibly the reason his 2nd marriage dissolved. Certainly, I was not the one who did this. I was not the “Other Woman.” Ask Lorrie. She probably knows who Janet is.] & whoever else, came before me. I met Debby & know that she told mutual friends of ours that Jay had performance problems in bed [probably the same ones I found.] If you want to eventually be verbally abused, belittled/humiliated in front of friends, so be it. Though he might come off like the Great Father to his daughter, Jolene, you will finally come round to think that she learned nothing about what it means to pick a decent mate for life, from him [unless she got it through her thick head, finally, that she should pick the OPPOSITE of her father!] I allowed her to have her birthday party at our home, to invite a few of her friends. In her group of friends she invited was a guy who turned out to be a racist & felon. Within a year after that party, he murdered a girl in Manassas. His name was Paul Powell & was put to death on death row. I have good reasons for posting same profile on Jay, w/different photos, some from his teens, some from his 20s, some from his 30s, etc., as, any gay guys who may have sexed Jay may recognize him from one photo but not another. His M.O. seems to be to prey on vulnerable women, single mothers with child/children, women who have been abused/neglected/rejected in their past, women with failed marriages, and MARRIED women. Most of his women have fit one or another of those “profiles.” I was freshly divorced, abused in my first/only marriage, & abandoned by my first long~time love of more than 9 years..another alcoholic; Lorrie, wife #2, was left an unwed mother, allegedly abandoned by some motorcycle guy; Melinda admitted to me that her 1st hubby cheated on her. See the pattern? I can only hope/pray that the reason his adopted son, James, seemed to have a scowl on his face almost every time he visited or I saw him, when Jay lived with me, was not because Jay sexually molested him as a boy. I hope that did not happen, but given the past of Jay Brown & what Jay told me about his gay cousin, Paul, who knows. I know Jay told me that James had to have some type of counseling when James was in high school, & Jolene told me that James had substance abuse issues [one reason why I did not want James staying at our home during custody visits with Jolene], but I did my best to mentor James whenever I could. I took him to get his drivers license, I had him over for dinners, I gave him an acoustic guitar lesson, & even gave him Xmas presents, though I never got one from him, & James seldom gave Jay presents for Xmas, Bdays, not that I noticed, anyway. One last thing.. Jay loves to lick all over..armpits, etc., & suck the toes of a woman. Ok, so many of us, including me, read Joy of Sex, decades ago. Thing is..you may find yourself thinking years later, that he was probably pretending to have a penis in his mouth, while sucking your big toe, & I do not think it “just coincidence” that that, in my first months w/him, I asked him who he had made that silver pendant, containing a PINK TRIANGLE, rose quartz cabachon, that he said was for a gay guy who never picked up the job. I suspect he may have worn it himself, when undercover..even my b/f suggested as much.

2/2/2011 3:59:52 PM - The books he bought in the local book stores for himself, the year before he left me, mostly contained gay male erotica/pornography. I also doubt that the photo he showed me of himself in drag, where it looked like he wore a tutu, & he said he dressed that way b/c it was Halloween, where he was the same age as he was in the photo in the profile, http://womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=28688, with the same haircut..was just for Halloween. & why did he bring home the gay newspaper, The Blade, to decide where we would go Salsa dancing? Do not believe him when, after you have caught him repeatedly watching gay male sex sites on the Internet [he may or may not minimize the screen when you walk behind him sometimes he did when I was around, sometimes he did not & was just blatant about it], to tell you it was just a diversion. Besides any other diagnosed/undiagnosed mental disorder he might have, he could possibly have ADHD. He can also fake crocodile tears on Q. He did w/me at least 4 times, 3 times in the beginning of our relationship, & once at the end, after he called it quits. He cried, said, Look what I have done to you, as if he meant it. Yes. He knew what he did, but was not remorseful. He was just sorry I had caught on to his on line deceit, about which he asked me not to tell his family. He mostly seeks women who can offer him either money/opportunity. He can do handy jobs, drywall, paint houses, some carpentry, jewelry repair. He impressed ME w/those at first, too. It seemed his mother went from acting like a mother to me for years [like an Aunt Bea from the Andy Griffith Show], to behaving like the mother of the Manchurian Candidate. She even paid for photos taken of him & me together, in the initial years of our relationship, like a mother would want marriage photos of her son & his wife. Jay was only too happy to oblige. One pix, as I see it now, shows him w/a fake halo of light on his head, his face in evil shadow as he lifts my chin, looking longingly, seemingly lovingly into my eyes on him, my face brightly lit,like one of those film noir cinematography affects, [Evil vs Good.] He will hit on women while your back is turned, when you two are in the same room, meanwhile lying to you, every week, if not daily, saying I LOVE YOU. He accused me of making him choose btwn me & his family,as if I was a homewrecker.. like I had held a rifle to his head to make him spend all those holidays/weekends w/not only me, but w/my family, & his, many of them his mother also enjoyed at our home. Then, after being caught, which obviously gave him the perfect opportunity to end things, he still kept saying he loved me. Adding insult to injury, was how he set me up, torqued me around week after week, w/the push~pull thing [characteristic of BPDs, by the way, I think he is one.] This creep is NOT emotionally healthy & has been leading double, if not triple lives, his entire adult life. As soon as he saw bigger $ signs, he was off to "better" pastures. I hope Melinda got stuck w/the major part of his debt to Paula. She deserves what crap he will eventually deal her. He was & probably still is into sick sex. Though most of his porn watching was hard~core gay male porn, I also thought, besides his ad for swinger sex, he was a voyeur w/a sick masturbation habit. Jay likes a woman w/money or that comes from $, such as when the wife [of another guy] has inherited or is about to inherit, or $ from a dying parent. He told me that his mother told him he would not be getting any inheritance from her because she had given him so much, for years. Guess he had to find another cash cow.He acted like he was the Great Father while courting me, made sure to include me when going to rifle practice w/his son. We took Jolene bowling w/us. We all went ice skating together, assembled puzzles like a family, went on vacations w/his daughter/son, did family things. I did not hold a gun to his head to make him “choose” between me & his family, like he faulted me for doing. He acted all happy when he assembled my IKEA piece, after he first moved in w/me. I did not draw that smile on his face. Smiles were there on the faces of him & his daughter. My photos prove it. For the 1st months, when visiting his mother, I slept on her couch & we refrained from demonstrating affection around his daughter, so as not to upset her, kept things proper. His M.O. seems to be to try & build his image by getting w/established women so he can build his image off what they have to try & impress people into thinking he functions well in life, only to feel entitled to cheat later, w/anyone. All in all, a very toxic relationship worsened by his children who, IMOP, were ill mannered & out of line. His perpetual I LOVE YOUs mean nothing. He was just a fraud who SET ME UP for a very bad, long fall.

2/4/2011 11:59:03 AM - Let me describe the creepy way he ended things. One day, after work, he told me he was delivering a stained glass window that Lorrie had sent for him to repair, but after he left, it was STILL on the back porch. RED FLAG right there. He was not home by 11:30 P.M. I had seldom called him on his cell phone, but I did & left a message asking where he was. He got home much later. He told me that he had had a talk with Lorrie [ex wife #2] & she had told him that this was his pattern.. “even with her”..to cheat & never be true to any woman. RED FLAG #2 right there. Why had he suddenly made her his “confidante” about OUR problems? Or was he trying, to PROJECT on me, falsely & out of the blue, after 8.5 years living with me, that I was a “home wrecker” with their relationship [I was not one], thus he possibly wanted to “drive” his point home..rub it in..flip the script on me, to gaslight me? Next came his “justification story” about how he wanted a woman who could “roll up her sleeves and get dirty” [when I had “rolled up my sleeves for 8.5 years, helping to pay for the roof over his head & the head of his daughter, every other weekend, when he had custody time with her], not to mention me paying half for the utilities most months [gas/water was in MY NAME ONLY..how convenient for him. Does it seem like a Friends With Benefits situation, to you..& when he used me for babysitting services, early on?].. so it was “over” .. Jay fails to realize that the common denominator in all of his failed relationship is himself. I also still suspect it is Jay who has, for many months now, been instigating having SPAM e~mails sent to my box, from third parties.., e~mails with subject matter like Viagra/Cialis ads, penis enlargement ads, dating service ads, psych meds ads, etc., which would be considered a form of ILLEGAL STALKING OR HARASSMENT, & against the Federal Communications laws. I also think it is HIM who has begun also instigating third party marketing calls to my home [example, from MD party “Jim White with Federal Mortgage Service”] ..those recorded calls where you hear nothing until you say “hello” .. I have a caller ID & have a record of knowing who called when, so can go back to know when those calls occurred. I may have to file a restraining order against him if I find out it was him instigating those calls and/or the SPAM e~mails. He is still, in my opinion, ONE SICK individual. It seems he even loves NEGATIVE ENMESHMENT [yes, he knows about that term..he even used it to describe his relationship with Lorrie, after or when they were divorcing, while living w/me, before they started friendly talk again, so that she could continue delivering repair jobs to him, using their daughter Jolene as the “go between”!], so that he does not want me to be happy w/my love of >10 years .. seems JEALOUS of me & where I am in life..that I finally found happiness, or is just ticked off b/c I exposed him up here & elsewhere on line. I hope the relatives of Melinda read these profiles on him & that they conduct a thorough background check on him, or hire a P.I. to see if he really works when/if he says he does. Who knows..he may even have DV charges on his record from when he was married to Lorrie [once, when he & I drove to either pick up Jolene to/from his custody time with her, I saw him & Lorrie arguing, on the front porch..looked like a heated conversation, & he definitely raised his voice to her.] I have no idea, nor would spend one red cent to find out..I could not be bothered, but they may want to. Watch him, because when/if Melinda finally wises up to the truth & dumps him, he might jump state lines, to assume another identity..possibly even change his name, die his hair, or whatever..to try & escape his past & his lies. He might possibly move to Florida [his buddy from his Edgemeade days, Dan Cleary, lived down there, on a boat, last I knew] or to live with his sister, Linda [who, I think lives in either Indiana or Illinois..not sure, but she married her cousin Les, & Les was her husband after her other husband, a guy who I think lives in Charlottesville, VA, named John Hunley/Hunly, who Pattie & I both thought was old enough to be her father!] If you do not believe that his sister Dulce helped pay off Jay”s lawyer bills, to divorce wife #2, you can always verify that with Michael Fowler, physics professor in Charlottesville, VA, & former husband of Dulce, Jay”s deceased sister. Juvie record for Jay was probably expunged once he was no longer a minor, so we really cannot know what all he was in Edgemeade for, but he told me he was in there for [cannot recall which] for auto theft or breaking into cars.

2/4/2011 3:10:58 PM - You might also want to speak to Ed Eastridge, another buddy from Jay”s Edgemeade days [web site: http://www.hanoverstrings.com/musicians.html?pPage=2&pMusID=126], to see if you can find out why Jay was in Edgemeade. Among the other friends of Jay”s who Jay talked about behind their backs, was Ed, who Jay thought he was better than Ed, because Ed [allegedly] continued with drug use/sales, after Jay had stopped using. Jay also may or may not have been exaggerating his professional credentials. Last I knew, yes, he knew some silversmithing, but at least FOUR pieces that he custom made for me, had firescale on them [look up the term, it is a purplish spot or black spot that cannot be shined up, to cover the "mistake" when a silversmith forgets to pickle or anneal the metal that he/she has worked.] Seems like everything Jay does or has touched, spills over into his next relationship, to affect the life of his next woman, in a negative way. This happens with sociopaths, thus, I think Jay is a sociopath. I suspect that Jay wanted to turn me into him, or the negative persona of him, the alcoholic, as in the Conway Twitty song, “Image of Me”.. he did not succeed, but I think he tried. Otherwise, why would he, for several weeks, before calling it quits, have bought me a large bottle of wine, when he bought our weekly groceries [for years, he seldom, nor regularly, bought any bottle of wine, along with the groceries, while living with me.] Why would he do this, each week, for several weeks, before he dumped me? When anyone finally cleans the “slate” of his/her life, to create a “tabula rasa” (blank slate, so he/she can start again), he/she must finally “come clean” with all .. to be open to reveal the truth of all, to anyone who asks. I think Jay has not done this & persists to deceive others. To me, Jay still represents someone who practiced the OPPOSITE of the AA tenets [See http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/the-opposite-of-the-12-steps-anything-sound-familiar/], because, to me, he has not come clean, and has hurt/exploited the lives of women, for decades. One guitarist, a long time friend of my S.O., knows Jay from his past, from the Big Joke era [name for a residence where Jay lived, when Jay lived with Evelyn Vignola, in Great Falls, VA], & remembers when Jay asked him where he could get an alcoholic drink, at 10 A.M….The answer might have been the club, now known as “JVs” in Falls Church, VA. Yes, week after week, year after year, Jay will declare his love verbally & in writing .. cards, flowers..everything, for every occasion. He is nevertheless known as a bed hopper, cyber cheater, & serial slut who has serially gone after married women..THE WOMEN OF OTHER MEN! How will you know when he is lying? You wont. Not when he backs up his good words with good deeds, over time, & you believed all along that he was honest. But Jay has serially has off on making a women fall for him just to make himself feel better, because he has low self esteem [he admitted so to me], After years, when he is sure she has committed her heart, he loses interest. He has done this over & over again, & left a string of disrupted/shattered hearts in his path. Any guy that does this has to be mentally & seriously disturbed. He plays gay ass games & wants animate AND inanimate things put up his rump, so he has GOT to be closet gay. I just wonder if, in addition to, or besides the car vandalism he confessed to, there might have been some other reason he was in Edgemeade..like some sex offense or male prostitution, or him getting caught for soliciting male prostitutes. Whatever else he is/was, though, he was a cyber cheater when with me. I swear, he would have stolen my shadow if he could have. He regularly/monthly had me give him haircuts, as he sat, naked, on a pillow on the floor, between my legs, while I sat on the couch. He also had this weird thing of liking to bathe in my bathwater after I was done. One time, he wanted me to hold his penis while he peed, so I could see what it was like to be a man. After he had moved out, his niece, Kathy, called our number by mistake. I spoke to her, conveyed my grief, said what an ass I thought he was. She agreed with me..said she thought he was off, too. & I did not deserve that nasty hate letter his daughter Jolene sent to me, calling me a worthless piece of skin. I had mentored her for years. Many were the times I picked her up from her home to bring her to ours, for her custody time w/her dad, when Jay worked late, so could not do it [READ: he exploited me..used me as a chauffer!] I even kept protecting her after Jay moved out. A letter was sent to her from that felon/murderer, Paul Powell, from prison. I wrote on it No Such Addressee Lives Here, & sent it back in the mail. Jay even admitted, before his divorce to Lorrie was final, that his father~in~law, Lu Walters, wanted to put him permanently out of business..to make sure no one did business with him again.

2/5/2011 2:01:59 PM - If I were the next woman in his life, after me, or any employer of his, I would seriously conduct a FULL background check on him, to see if Lorrie or anyone else ever filed an AVO on him. It was NOT funny when we sat at the dining room table & he threw a set of keys toward my head. VIOLENCE! Probably, our former landlord has records of when they gave us a deal off the rent that month, for him painting the walls, which covered that hole he made, when those keys did not land on my face. Heck, I probably have it in my journal of when that happened. Last I knew, he worked for Music & Arts, in McLean, VA, or a least my guitarist friend told me he did. When he lived with me, he worked, briefly, if I recall four months or less only, at another music store in Manassas. Even after his divorce went through to Lorrie, & their marital property was divvied up, it took Jay awhile to return a large lap saw that he said belonged to Lu Walters [Did you think he was trying to steal it, Lu? If so, I would appreciate your comment about that.] Another awful thing about all this, is that probably no one in his biological or extended family will warn his women about him, so they could avoid years of torment with him! & if he tells you I stole from him, do not believe him either. I did not. He made many presents to me of jewelry he had or made. Most of them were guilt presents. He admitted that some of them were. DO NOT KID YOURSELF! ANY GUY WHO WANTS HIS WIFE OR G/F TO SODOMIZE HIM WITH A STRAP ON PENIS, HAS GOT TO BE CLOSET GAY! HIS 1ST WIFE, PATTIE, SAID SHE WOULD BE SUPPORTIVE OF ME. HOPE SO. EVEN IF THIS WANKER TRIES TO TAKE ME TO COURT ON FALSE CHARGES. LAY IT ON BUDDY. MAKE MY DAY, SHITHEAD! I STILL HAVE THE LEASE THAT HAD BOTH OF OUR NAMES ON IT..YOU KNOW..THE ONE YOU BROKE? I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR BUTT TO COURT, BUT I AM NOT A SUIT~HAPPY PERSON. OH, BY THE WAY, JAY, MY LOVE OF ALMOST 10 YRS, BEFORE YOU, AT LEAST SMILED AT ME EVERY TIME WE MADE LOVE, HAD A WIDER COCK THAN YOU HAD, & HAD MORE STAMINA THAN YOU, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS SHORTER THAN ME & WAS ALSO AN ALCOHOLIC, YOU SICK [IN MY OPINION] ERECTILE DYSFUNCTIONED CREEP! HE EVEN HAD A NICER, FULL MOUTH THAN YOU HAD, KNEW HOW TO GIVE ORAL BETTER THAN YOU, & DID NOT SLOBBER ALL OVER ME WHEN HE KISSED. AT LEAST, WITH HIM, I DID NOT FEEL LIKE MY MOUTH WAS INSIDE A WASHING MACHINE WITH SLOBBER, WHEN I WAS WITH HIM. I LEFT HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ALCOHOLISM, HOPING I WOULD FIND SOMEONE WHO WAS NOT AN ALCHIE & NOT A SPOILED TRUST FUND BABY. TOO BAD THE REFORMED ALCHIE I FOUND [YOU] COULD NOT BETTER HIM. HE, AT LEAST, HAD A GOVERNMENT JOB THAT HE IS PROBABLY RETIRED FROM, & IF HE GOT FREE OF THE BOOZE, MAY HAVE FINALLY MADE SOMEONE A NICE HUSBAND, UNLIKE YOU, & DID NOT GO AFTER WOMEN B/C OF THEIR MONEY! MY THEORY FOR YOU, JAY, IS THAT BECAUSE YOU GREW UP WITH SO MANY SISTERS & YOU BEING THE ONLY BOY, YOU HAVE LITTLE INSTRUCTION ON HOW TO BE A MAN, SO WANTED TO BE A WOMAN BECAUSE MAYBE YOU SAW THAT THEY LANDED WELL~TO~DO OR WELL~ENOUGH~TO~DO HUSBANDS, SO YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DO THE SAME THING..FIND A WELL~TO~DO WIFEY. HEY..WHY ELSE WOULD YOUR SISTER LINDA MARRY JOHN, WHO PATTIE & I BOTH THOUGHT LOOKED OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER?! JUST BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A BIG SCHLONG THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY FEATURE YOU NEEDED TO SNAG A RICH WOMAN? HA HA HA. IT WAS NOT SO BIG AS YOU THOUGHT. YOU COULD NOT GET IT UP HALF THE TIME, WITHOUT WATCHING GAY MALE PORN FIRST, TOWARD THE END OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. YOU HAD WHAT IS KNOWN AS PORN CREEP. MELINDA SHOULD NOT KID HERSELF! & THAT HUGE HEMORRHOID ON YOUR ANUS RESEMBLED AN ENGORGED TICK, GREEN & FULL OF BLOOD. WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME IF YOU ACQUIRED THAT HEMORRHOID FROM HAVING SOME DUDE OR DUDES GO UP YOUR YAZOO. DO NOT KID YOURSELF, BALDIE, YOU ARE NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT. WHAT I FIND IS AN AMAZING CONTRAST, BTWN THE MOTHER OF JAY BROWN & ANOTHER MOTHER I MET IN MY 20s, WHEN I WORKED OVERSEAS, MUCH LIKE A PEACE CORPS WORKER WOULD DO? WHEN I ARRIVED BY BUS TO MY APPOINTED WORKPLACE, ONE MOTHER GREETED ME IN FRENCH, PICKED ME OUT AMONG THE OTHER FEMALES OFF THE BUS, SAID TO ME THAT SHE HAD A SON IN THE ARMY & IN INTELLIGENCE. HE WAS A HANDSOME MAN. LEAN, TALL & FINE, & SPOKE 4 LANGUAGES. I MET HIM WEEKS LATER, FELL IN LOVE, BUT TO MARRY HIM, I WOULD HAVE HAD TO CONVERT TO HIS RELIGION, WHICH I DID NOT WANT TO DO. SO SAD, THE DIFFERENCE, IN THE END, BTWN THE MOTHER OF JAY & THAT WOMAN ON INTERNATIONAL SOIL WHO SPOTTED ME & THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE A NICE WIFE FOR HER SON. THAT STORY WAS JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM NOT AN UGLY WOMAN. THE DAUGHTER OF THAT WOMAN ALSO TOLD ME THAT HER BROTHER ONLY PICKED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRLS TO COURT. IMAGINE, IF YOU WILL, A NAZI, WHO PRETENDS NOT TO BE A NAZI FOR 8.5 YEARS, THEN SUDDENLY TURNS BACK INTO A NAZI, THEN YOU WILL SENSE WHAT I THINK OF JAY BROWN. NOT THAT HE IS/WAS A NAZI, JUST THAT I THINK HE BEHAVED MUCH LIKE ONE. CAREFUL, LADIES, JAY GETS HERPES SORES ON HIS MOUTH FROM TIME TO TIME.

2/5/2011 7:38:50 PM - I never checked to see how many DUIs he might have had, when he was still a drunk, living with Lorrie, but I can only imagine he probably has some on record, somewhere. Seriously, I believe he preys on the wealth of others. [Remember how you got him, Melinda, because that is how you will lose him, if you do not wise up first and can his ass! You may be able to still have your marriage annulled if you discover his mask, the way I did. You might be able to claim he defrauded you, too, similarly, as in Fraudulent Marriage, because a guy who hides his sexual identity with fraud, to me, is no different than a rapist or bigamist ..the woman has NOT given her CONSENT to an open relationship, nor to sleeping with a guy who sexes men!] He seemed to even have his daughter convinced that being bisexual was normal. She wrote as much to me, in that hate letter she sent to me. TO JOLENE: Sorry, honey, but it is NOT normal in my book when a guy hides that other side, to defraud women, and not normal given what he told me he did with his gay male cousin, Paul. He also broke the Guy Code by going after the wife of Ed Rejuney, his so~called friend. Ed told me he had to get therapy sessions, after what happened. It is pretty sickening, considering, when I had asked Jay, several times, throughout the years, if he thought he was bi and he say I don’t think so, or deny, then he admits to it after he has called it quits with me, and after I found his ad for bi sex on a swingers site. Made me want to wretch, more so when I found out from Pattie that he pulled similar crap on her. At least his marriage to her was only about a year, whereas he defrauded me 8.5 years of my life, so multiply the pain 8+ times, and you will know my sentiment. His emotions are fake, shallow, contrived, as are the emotions of most sociopaths. He lied for 8.5 years, saying he loved me, even after he, I allege, had shagged Melinda, and was probably doing the both of us at the same time. He is known for keeping his old lovers around, still in the picture. He will say they are friends. He had the nerve, when dating me and I had my own apartment, to invite Evelyn Vignola to stay overnight at my apartment. It would not surprise me if he fucked her while I was asleep. It was around that same time, when I demanded the intentions of Jay Brown, after he waffled with me. I told him to make up his mind or leave me alone. He came back, it was Valentines Day, with a basket of two crystal goblets, a bottle of wine, roses, & a sweet Valentine from his 10~year~old daughter, Jolene, that said To Daddy & [****]. I thought he had finally made up his mind to commit to me. I forgot to ask Pattie if Evelyn was still in the picture when he was married to Pattie. Evelyn was still in the picture, last I knew, after he moved in with Melinda. Nothing would surprise me about Jay Brown. Our entire relationship was grounded in his deceit. He used me & my family. He convinced me that he was in love with me, enough for me to move to his town & get my own apartment, in order to see him. It was a SET UP. He is full of lies and HE is a lie. Excuses/reasons he gave me for ending his marriage to Lorrie? They included: ~ she bought too much inventory or the wrong inventory for Stone Art [I think this was the excuse he gave for that shop failing] ~she did not want to work at Stone Art, except for giving beading classes, after they opened it ~said she did not want to go to Alanon after he participated in AA, told me that she said IT IS YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE ~told me that she treated him like a cash machine ~told me that she “over~reacted” ~told me and others “It was the cats, for God’s sake”.. told me that Lorrie paid so much money for vet bills that he could not afford to go see a doctor about those carbuncles he still had on his upper back/neck area, that stunk like pus, when he lived w/me, so that I finally convinced him to have them removed.

2/7/2011 1:32:19 PM - I think he had little more to bring to his next relationship with Melinda, but heavy debt to his sister, Paula. My “crime” against Jay, apparently, was believing that I was his common~law wife, after 8.5 years. What woman would not want to try common~law marriage, when she had been verbally abused in her first marriage [though my husband, at least, did not object to supporting a wife/child/me]? Jay left me in a very bad way, exhausted from his weeks of psychological Push~Pull games & his gaslighting, in a lousy job market and recession times, after my last Unemployment check ran out, between jobs. Although my credit line was good & intact, I slaked 40 lbs & had to survive for awhile, on beef broth made from cubes & COSTCO jars of beef jerky, until I found 2 part~time jobs [neither of which had health benefits] that just barely paid the rent/utilities, not in my usual line of work. Then I was crime victimized & assaulted by a felon on one of those jobs. I hate the bastard. I paste below one section that I posted in another profile about him up here, for emphasis, because I mentioned above how I think Jay is/was an emotional blackmailer, so I want to give an example: Jay also stooped to emotional blackmail goading/baiting, too, I think, accused me, in a smutty email his last to me of being a homophobe. It came after I confronted him by email. I’d written that I hoped he wasn’t boffing little boys in those empty homes he’d been hired to paint. He replied, on Oct. 3, 2000 with, “Where was all this selfrighteous fervor when you were soaking your panties watching lesbian porno movies??? Do I detect a bit of hypocracy here? I wonder who would be interested in that bit of truth?” His email address back then was EBrown1762@aol.com. Yes. Once or twice I watched films with “lesbians” in them, with him. One was not a “porn” film, per se, and one that anyone could rent at Blockbusters, another was a film, High Art, about derelict artists in New York, that Jay had chosen for us to watch, and had one lesbian theme in it. But he exaggerated, later, as if to make me out to be a lesbian, which I am not one. My male therapist thought that email of Jay’s was the worst he had ever seen. And I think that any woman, once Jay is done with her, will need to see a therapist .. possibly for many years. He was the one always renting/buying porn films, from adult video stores, not me. Those videos were mostly about gay males or female lesbians, in orgies together. Heck, I think he was supporting the porn industry. I think, seriously, that he had “porn creep”, because, toward the end of our relationship, he often would watch those videos before trying to bed me, and I suspect he found it difficult to get aroused, without them, when, in the first years of our relationship, I was sexy enough for him, and he didn’t need them, nor needed any coaxing, to make love, though he almost always never lasted longer than 8 minutes, if that long, and that “little problem” of his was worse, I think, when he first tried bedding me, when I was age 18. He couldn’t even get it up, back then.

2/7/2011 7:00:45 PM - Another sad thing..his daughter once had an email address with the word “psychochic” or psychochik” in it..made me wonder what kind of psychotic behavior she thought was “cool” due to her father’s acting out [Children Of The Corn, anyone?] I know I have a copy of one of them somewhere in my “Shady Jay” file. Also, to whichever unlucky woman who might marry him next, make sure he does not, while using YOUR credit, sign you up for credit cards of which you are not aware, for that is another con some guys pull. Jay will tell you he loves you, that there is no one else, meanwhile will be searching around on web sites for other women or men, to sex. Once he realizes that you are not an idiot & you find/call him out, he will turn tails on you, becoming disrespectful, cruel, mean, & will care no more about you. He has already, by that point or before then, decided to move on to the next woman. Seemingly, he attaches to no one in any genuine way, & possibly has an antisocial personality. I also think that Jay is a Somatic Narcissist, the type of narcissist who uses females to get over on & live off, to dispose of them when he is done using them for all he could get, yet also likes to remain “friends” with two or more of his exes so he can keep one foot in the door in case things do not work out with you. What Melinda did to me was disgusting. Jay told me that she had confided to him that her husband Ed was in a men"s cult .. if a guy is on the down~low, wanting to sex men, too, on the sly, is that not a men"s cult? He would tell her personal things about my medical conditions..very private stuff, so that she suggested [he said] a book he gave me about peri menopause. I was bleeding profusely for months, but I had also meanwhile had polyps removed from my womb, in hospital surgery, that I think came from stress living with Jay. He had no business discussing my personal/medical issues with her. But again .. that is what home~wrecking adulteresses do, they undercut the man"s relationship with his domestic partner, to get the one~up on the other woman. Do not trust her, either. I am nothing like her ..would get bored to see one room in my home full of Barbie Dolls in their boxes. Seems like a hoarding habit to me. I left mine behind at age 12, along with Skipper and Ken~~gave mine away to the consignment shop, took up oil painting instead. Jay is probably the worst guy to ever get into any type of relationship with, the worst guy I have ever known. When you first meet him he may appear extremely charming/confident & will mirror all of your attributes only to get closer to you & use what you are most self conscious about to chip away at your self worth. He has done so in several of his prior relationships, including at least one ex~wife, probably both, when overlapping & misleading most of his relationships. He lies by omission, conveniently omits facts about his past/present to gain initial levels of trust. To me, he will always be a manipulating bully who cannot form true emotional attachments. Must have thought he was a cunnilingus expert. Ha ha. All he could do was mash the mons.. nothing subtle or intricate there. Watch your back, as he might bring up past boyfriends who have cheated on you, to hurt you. He did so to me. He suggested I call an old b/f in another state, from my past, to confront him. When I did not call him, Jay did, to ask what was his relationship with me, despite my objections. I advise against you sharing deep secrets with him, as he might want to “pick those scabs” or tear open a scar that healed you over, causing you to relive the pain [am I right about this or not, Holly Holstrom?] & for the sake of God & your own sanity, do not look to him for emotional support if you had to fight an EEO case which brought you a settlement, or he might do as he did to me..tell me I should have “put up & shut up” .. kept zipped about the abuse [just like at home!] You see, this is what HE had to do in HIS family, so he wants you to be the same way..broken & confused.

2/8/2011 10:16:10 PM - He has usually cheated to leave his relationships/lovers, meanwhile taking “short cuts” [on the souls or dollars of other women] to get ahead in life, & will demoralize you, justify everything to make himself look innocent & decent, meanwhile pulling them into his drama. He even lied in his ad on that swingers site, about his age..made himself out to be about 2 years younger than he actually was. He is also adept at TRIANGULATION, “an online predators FAVORITE position” [source: http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/12/luresofonlinepredator.html] In fact, read each of the descriptions on that site, about how a predator operates, causing cognitive dissonance in his prey [which is what he did to me & probably what he did to Melinda]. Read “THE LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR/Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths” .. especially Part 7~“ENTER THEIR SPIRIT” .. Part 13~ “DISARM THROUGH STRATEGIC WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY” … Part 14~ “CONFUSE DESIRE & REALITY: THE PERFECT ILLUSION” .. then you might know how Jay first brainwashed me, then later gaslighted me, to move to his next prey, Melinda Yalom. I will always think of him as a serial cheater, online [when one advertises as a swinger, that is “serial” to me], & in real life. Before Jay, I had never met a sociopath in my life, maybe a few narcissists [which I think he is one, too], but not a sociopath. I honestly think he is a sociopath, but at least he is HER problem now, not mine. It will be HER dealing w/whatever mental disorders he might have [I think he has several, diagnosed or undiagnosed], not me. Thank God I did not officially marry him, otherwise, he could have ruined my credit line w/that huge debt to Paula he had. It is not just one, two or several one day/night stands he might have behind your back, but an actual full relationship going, while living w/you, & it won”t be until he”s dumped you that he finally fesses up to having sexed men in his past. He actually thought that I would move out instead of him..probably hoping to keep his business place intact. I let him think so for awhile. He even bought boxes & tape for me, so I packed most of my things up, let him think I was leaving. Then I told him to get out, I changed the locks [well, Jay, if you left behind some of your rock shop inventory, tuff, possession is 99% of the law. Consider anything you left behind a “trade” for that tiki bar you took when I offered it, that used to belong to my father.] So, I did feel I got a little “revenge”, especially when I knocked his phone off the hook but forgot to put it back on the cradle for days, so he still had a phone bill to pay, & because, for a while, he thought it was ME who would be moving out. Haha. I supported him throughout the entire process of his final stages of divorce from Lorrie, emotionally without once turning my back on him or showing any envy toward her, not even after he became friendly again with her, to where Lorrie started sending Jolene to our home with jobs for her shop [as if she expected his work to support her household?] From what he told me, during his initial stages of separation from her, he left his home with Lorrie two or three times, to go to the home of his mommy… & that was way before he began his relationship with me. A total coward & wuss. I believe his emotional development was arrested at age 12..the age he told me he was when his gay male cousin, Paul, had oral sex with him. I hope his neighbors see this profile, & if any gay guy sees this & recognizes Jay from sexing Jay in his past, post a comment below, to say when/where that happened. Jay did not admit in words, until the VERY END, after he had left my home, to having hooked up w/gay guys for sex in his youth. It might take awhile for any gay man or several gay men to find this profile, but it will be worth it to finally/completely out Jay for the complete fraud I think he is. Thanks.

2/10/2011 11:22:33 AM - He was STILL sexing me for months..& for another year or more..probably after he had begun his relationship w/Melinda on the side..sexed me even up into the last month before his departure, all the while pretending to still love me, so I believe he was doing BOTH of us w/in the same time frame. A friend of her husband [Ed Rejuney], Bill Broderick, a happily married man, warned me, “Melinda is not a nice person.” I wish Bill had said more about why he thought so, but he did not, so it left me to be the last to know..just cruel. Part of the M.O. of Jay Brown is to find the next victim from among either the network of his current woman or of another woman he knows. I think he met Janet when she was a customer to LuBon [not the full name for it], shop in Fairfax, VA, that belonged to the parents of wife #2. He met Debbie/Debby who was a friend of Mari Ane, wife to his band buddy, Rick Burnette. He would not have met Melinda if I had not invited him to a party that a former friend of mine from my high school days threw in Brown Town, VA. Pattie, wife #1, said Jay seduced the wife of their neighbor. He has a sketchy/tainted past that should not be ignored. One of my Xmas cards from him had a creepy “IOU” in it. I believe that his addiction is to attention/seduction, thus needs someone for “supply” due to his [I suspect] BPD…has blamed women in his past, including his wives, for his problems, typical for people w/BPD. After he has called it quits, he will return, again & again, each wk. or every other day, giving mixed signals, typical to the Push~Pull thing that BPDs do. Several times, before he was completely gone, he would hug me, saying I LOVE YOU, but would not kiss me & just hold me. Jay, in my opinion, is a PSYCHOLOGICAL BULLY who wants to create DOUBLE BINDS, 2ND GUESSING, & PAINFUL COGNITIVE DISSONANCE in his victims/prey, only to GASLIGHT them in the end! His is the face of a user/abuser/cheater/liar, & ADMITTED THIEF. The more truth he omits, the better it is for HIM, not you. He wrote in his story about that lap dancer named “Faith” [which he callously showed me later, when we got home from vacation. I think his convincing me to go into that strip club w/him to have her lap dance for him was as close as he could get to fulfilling his fantasies of having a 3some &/or of trying to turn his woman into a lesbian w/o her knowing what he was doing, or to turn her into a sick voyeur, like I think he is. He joked that going there would be just like in the movie, Cage Aux Folles. That was his sick “assurance” that that activity would be ok to pull off, on our last night at the beach!] that her eyes were “kind” [were blue, she was blonde..probably a REFLECTION of himself & his narcissism.] I innocently thought, when I agreed, that, like those pole~dancing classes that married women throw for their female friends, that possibly I could learn some sexy moves to use w/Jay, when we had intimate moments together, when alone, when we got home. But Jay had the propensity to turn something playful into something raunchy. The raunchy ideas always originated from him, not from me, but he had a way of turning it around on his women, as if he had a Whore/Madona Complex. Like when, at his workbench, he listened to the Dr. Laura [Holier~Than~Thou] radio programs, about how bad it was to live out of wedlock, as if he took on her ideas/thoughts to suit his own, as if he did not have a mind of his own [he would have never made it in the intelligence business, where I worked, requiring high govt. clearances, b/c that field will not hire people who can be too easily subjected to "influence" or who have poor impulse control], as if he sought some excuse to view our relationship in a bad light, suddenly. That strip club venture turned out to be another of his abuse methods. IMOP, Jay is a romance scam artist w/numerous hurt women in his wake. I believe Jay cons money/things out of women while by pretending to be in a relationships w/them, that his real motive is to mooch off women for yrs. When the woman confronts him b/c she intuits something is very wrong w/his behavior, he tells her that she has abandonment/trust issues~has her feeling confused/guilty for ever doubting him. FLIPPING THE SCRIPT. His GAME. He might have said to you, as he did to me [which will probably occur in the 6th/7th yr. w/you], “I am here because I want to be, not because I have to be” .. RED/PINK FLAG! HEED IT! Smoke & mirrors! Jay The Jaded One is all about shell games & mind games. If he manages to say he is sorry, it will probably be in a most unremorseful/insincere tone. He will give you the silent treatment when he is guilty about something. Think: Silence = Sneaky. While pretending to be interested in your life for years, all he is after is sex &/or your money. He can & probably will fool you into thinking he changed, when he has not. Your years w/him will be one big charade, as he will inevitably have someone else lined up on the side.

2/10/2011 7:58:01 PM - One excuse Jay used to me & others in his social circles [I saved one e~mail from Julia Leigh to me, that affirms as much], as to why he divorced Lorrie, was “it was the cats, for God”s sake” .. yet he knew Lorrie loved animals BEFORE he married her [so why marry a woman who devotedly loved animals only to use the excuse of her having animals, later to divorce her or distance himself from her?], & when I would go with him to pick up Jolene for her custody visits with him, he certainly did express [fake?] affection/love of that black cat at the home of Lorrie, “PJ” who he said was HIS cat at one time. LOOK FOR CONTRADICTIONS IN HIS REASONING! I would have loved to have at least one pet/animal, like a short~haired black or gray cat, when he lived with me, but b/c of his excuse about the animals of Lorrie, I refrained from having pets [much like I decided to love his daughter, when I had trouble having my own children, from my own body!] With my new love since Jay..the man who came into my life after Jay with whom I still reside, more than ten years later, I have enjoyed two cats, that my partner loved and cared for, before he ever met me. Heck, with Jay, I could not even have a fish magnet collection [that true friends of mine added to, when they realized I had a collection, but most of them I bought. I probably one or three magnets each beach trip, every year to the beach with Jay. Meanwhile, I noticed that Melinda had a fairly large collection of tea pots in her home, that took up more room in her house than my fish magnets did on my refrigerator! Talk about kich!] on my refrigerator without him making fun of it [when it cost much less for me to have fish magnets than it would to have a tropical fish tank with the fish I actually admired, and when fish magnets cost nothing to feed real live fish, that I would have otherwise had.] Watch out for men who do not love pets. Many sociopaths are known for abusing animals, too, before they abuse people! Let me tell you, ladies….my S.O., my true love who arrived in my life after Jay, had more to offer, emotionally and otherwise, than Jay did..was more grounded, had more culture, was world traveled as I was, had no debt like Jay had when Jay left me, and, best of all, was not afraid to let me FINALLY set down roots, build my garden behind & in front of his house.. allowed me to landscape, allowed his musical heart/soul & mine to truly merge.. THE VERY OPPOSITE OF WHAT JAY BROWN HAD OFFERED ME. Ladies…, you have to close one door before a better one can open for you, but closing the previous door should not mean you have no responsibility to warn other women against any male who has abused you! When any male tamps down your dreams for a full life, tamps down “letting life in”..SUSPECT HIM. SUSPECT HE MIGHT BE AN ABUSER! When he limits your full possibilities for a FULL life, SUSPECT HIM! Do not let those little “dream like” gifts of his, like, when he walked on beaches with you every year & gifted you with washed clam hinges that he picked up, smoothed by the sand & salt water, that he convinces you are like the wings of angels or birds, as if they came from the hands of an angel, convince you he is real. He is not real. Suspect, instead, that you have been brainwashed by him. That is more likely what happened. Suspect, also, that he may have tried to steal your identity because he may not have an identity of his own. It seemed like, with Jay, that he often tried to impress me with things his previous ex, before me liked, for example, Lorrie liked eating her smoked oysters with lime juice squeezed on them, so that was what he suggested for me to do. He often took me to her favorite [or so he said it was] Chinese restaurant in Manassas.

2/10/2011 9:35:22 PM - He would not have known about the NPR programs, Prairie Home Companion or the Sunday program, "G Strings" if not for the cultured tastes of my brother, who told us about them. Seemed like Jay never had an original idea of his own..seemed to recycle the same love songs to different women. He introduced me to logastina [small seafood animal, consistency between a shrimp & rock lobster]..a favorite food of Lorrie [his 2nd wife], he said. [Aw, common, Jay..the falconer that I chose over you, when I was age 18, introduced me to snow peas, & knew, from his mother, to marinade lamb chops, more than one inch thick, in Italian dressing, & PREPARED THEM FOR ME! He called me “my lady” & “sweetie”, had a DEEPER voice than you, & did not have to borrow/lift ideas/tastes from his previous girlfriends, to impress the next girlfriend! & his mother truly seemed to love me for years, until I discovered that he, too, was an alcoholic! I chose him over YOU, when I discovered that you lied to me, seduced me before I discovered, at the time, you were living with Evelyn Vignola!] Jay told me that Melinda suggested where we should vacation [before our final vacation].. either to Assateague Island or Chincoteague Island, I cannot recall which [DID SHE THINK THAT I WAS NOT ENOUGH OF A NATURALIST? Before Jay, I lived w/a falconer & bird breeder for nearly 9 yrs, helped him band/trap birds in Quantico, VA & Cape May, NJ, under the sponsorship of a renown ornithologist! [Meanwhile, what I gathered from Jay, she & her husband then, Ed Rejuney, enjoyed the hobby of bird watching on the island, when vacationing there together. Seemed like she persuaded Jay that she was an avid nature lover. Let me see her walk in the wilderness, the many miles I walked, in NM, VA & CO, w/my ex, while banding/breeding & exercising his hawks!] I think she was jealous of me & so was Jay..jealous of what I represented/accomplished! I may have been a Tom Boy in my life, but I have never been a lesbian, nor will ever be! Nor was I raised to support a man financially. I was not raised to be the MAJOR BREADWINNER so that a man could sit on his fat ass & do less than me. If he did that, he would be no better than a pimp!] Jay & I went to Assateague Island, not b/c of the suggestion of Melinda, but b/c I had wanted to go there long before her suggestion. She even suggested the restaurant where we went, Ella”s, as in Ella Fitzgerald, whose jazz style I had studied for yrs. Later, years after Jay left me, a press clip about my musical performance, framed in the foyer of a Falls Church/VA restaurant, compared me to Lady Day [Billy Holiday]..another artist I had studied for yrs., long before I had ever lived w/Jay Brown. I am certain now that he was jealous of me, that he wanted to suck my soul dry. Sorry if my story turned out to be a novella. I had to tell the truth. That time, when role playing, he tried on my wig, donned my underwear, & asked me, “Do I look like Robert Plant?” Well, I doubt he was trying to look like Robert Plant as much as he, I allege, thought he was trying to be a FEMALE, in that instance. Besides, most of my boyfriends, before & since Jay, resembled more, in handsomeness, like David Crosby, Martin Sheen, & Eric Clapton. I never had a “thing” for Robert Plant, even though, yes, I learned many songs of Alison Krause, long before I lived with Jay. Ha ha. There is HEALTHY ANDROGYNY and UNHEALTHY ANDROGY in men [and women!] I have learned that much. But a guy who does not protect/defend his woman, child, wife, family, is NOT a man! Any guy who, at age 40+ who has to live with his mommy when he is between women, is not a man! One summer, Jay, Jolene & I were the only ones at this beach on the outer banks of NC. The only ones except for two surfers in the distance, in the area. Jolene & I were stuck on a sandbar while Jay was on shore. Jolene was under age 12, then. The current was tricky & we were trapped when the undertow would not let us swim back. If it were not for my screams that had the surfers save us, we probably would have drowned, because Jay, even though he heard my screams, seemed like he was not about to jump in the water to swim out to save either me or his daughter. Supposedly, he was born in Gainesville, FL. The cracker. Did he not know how to swim? Wow. What a guy, huh? Jay seemed so STUPID to me, when he advertised for sex with bi or bi~curious men on that swingers site [WITH STRANGERS?], when he probably knew nothing before hand, whether those strangers might be jail birds, or not! Think of what diseases he might have brought home or still could, if he continued with those ways of his!

2/12/2011 12:10:56 PM - You might also tire of his lesser old bad habits/mannerisms, like leaving rings from his coffee cup on the bathtub not brushing his teeth at night, not wearing underwear; that sucking sound he made when he sucks his teeth, as if he thinks he is actually getting them clean that tap~tap~tapping of his spoon against his cereal bowl, as if he has obsessive compulsive disorder or is anxious or that his conversations seem pseudo intellectual, GLIB [e.g., “it disturbs my sensibilities”], or that he seems to affect/use glib/pseudo intellectual/psychobabble speech/jargon~~probably learned from his AA meetings or sessions with Michael Borash, which are Codependency buzz words that he might use against you or when he talks about his exes, flipping the script [examples: enmeshed, over~reacting], etc. Never let him take photos of you in a bathing suit or lingerie, & do not let him have a camera in his hands if you happen to be undressing or are undressed. He seems, in retrospect, like those rapists who love to keep souvenirs of their victims. He had a photo of Evelyn Vignola that a professional photographer [George Vincent, I believe] took of her, that I am not sure if she gave him or not. He kept the antique bed of Pattie then gave it to his daughter. He kept a baby photo of Pattie that she did not give him. He tried to keep that half nude photo of me that I did not give him express permission to snap me with nude breasts! I suspect him of having damaged my car in the past, twice, when the drivers side mirror was knocked off it, possibly w/a bat or crowbar. That is only conjecture on my part, but no one that I know of in my current my social circles is perverted, nor has a violent past or a juvie past. I also suspect him of harassing/stalking me by phone, suspect that he does this from a “restricted” number & suspect him of instigating 3rd party “robo” calls to my phone #. He may have been the one years ago, on two jobs of mine, in a row, where I got “breather” calls that I had to complain about getting to my supervisor & HR. You know, some sickos do that & masturbate, just so they can hear your voice on the other end. And I KNOW that Jay had a sick masturbation habit while watching gay male porn! Eventually [I bet my money on this!], Jay will project his issues on you, as he did with me, & probably others before me. I still think Jay is a SPATH. Sociopaths are full of lies, about who they are & where they have been & with whom. They often want women to invest or get involved in their businesses/projects, to help them “get started” again. They do this over & over again, with different victims. I was warned, early on about Jay, when I worked in his 2nd Stone Art shop, on Battle Street, Manassas, VA. A gray haired man came in and told me that Jay would suck the life out of me & discard me like a lemon rind. I wondered, years later, after Jay was gone from my life, if that older man that might have been Lu Walters or some gay guy that Jay may have sexed in his past, who Jay might have spurned. Possibly, it was a vendor who got ripped off by Jay, when Jay filed bankruptcy. I have no idea who the guy was, but he was right. For all the services/work I did for Jay, for 8.5 years..chauffering, babysitting, cooking, cleaning, laundry, fielding phone calls for his businesses, etc..I could have been well~paid for doing same for, or caring for, an elderly couple, or working as a nanny [I am, after all, a licensed Nurses Aide, from working as such, decades ago..could still do, if the market does not bear out work that requires my B.A…college degree, & if the market permitted me, & that work is NO LESS IMPORTANT than that of any perverted, sick BLUE~COLLAR, piecemeal worker w/a porn/sex addiction!] I was lucky if I could get him to wash a kitchen/bathroom floor now & then. IMOP, he does not respect the work any woman does for the unit, whether out of home or in home. Supposedly, Melinda went from working a F/T job under a Moslem boss, then went to P/T, which was when, I guess she began her affair with Jay while he lived w/me. If she thinks he will pull his weight, to support her, if/when she is unemployed, she should think again. BTW, my true love since Jay, still w/me >10 yrs. later, was influenced by & learned guitar, akin to the styles of Buddy Guy & Eric Clapton. I do not miss the plunkety plunk, heavy handed, plodding style when Jay practiced his guitar nightly, way past the hours when I thought Jay & I could be intimate. Who cares if Jay could sing/play, or imitate the styles of George Jones or any # of artists [sociopaths mirror the talents & acquired tastes of others]? To me, Jay is a BIG CLOD/DOLT, w/o sophistication/finesse in many areas of his life, but who probably THINKS he was blessed w/both.

2/13/2011 4:27:57 PM - I have no personal “conceit” whether I am hired as a white~collar or blue~collar worker [Hey..no matter what possessions we have accumulated in this life, we cannot take them with us when we go, can we? But those of us who have been duped/defrauded by men in our past, can surely try to prevent our exes from taking, fraudulently, what might belongs to the biological progeny of his next woman & female victim, right? Please see profile up here for alleged man on the down low, Tony Lewis Shortall, alleged to have tried to poison his wife, http://womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=14918. In the comment section, it mentions the name of Jay Brown.] In my 20s, I worked overseas, much like a Peace Corps worker would do. I think that Jay, on the other hand, is a SOCIAL CLIMBER, who wants to live on the backs & paychecks/income of women, b/c I think he ENVIES his sisters for being successful women [whether in profession or if they were traditional women, married to successful men! I think he wishes he could BE A WOMAN instead of a man!]..I think he is a class snob when he has no call to be, given his past record w/women, his past juvie record, his past porn/sex addiction, his alcoholic past his seemingly fly~by~his~pants way of surviving his alleged past of abandoning/neglecting/abusing women, or for just not wanting to take responsibility in his relationships his past history of two failed marriages his past history of substance abuse history of bankruptcy history of foreclosure on his marital property his Stone Art business folding his heavy past debt to sister Paula his alleged sexual identity/orientation confusion time spent at Edgemeade and Melwood Clinic in MD [I assume to correct his, I allege, defective social/mental behavior or possibly predatorial behavior on others] allegedly having asked his first wife to wear a strap on penis & wanting women to insert inanimate objects up his anus his desires with several women with whom he lived, to role switch, etc. Believe me. Believe his first wife, Pattie. Believe Carey Creed [wife to his first brother~in~law], but DO NOT believe JAY BROWN. I seriously hope that any gay guy who may have sexed him [for example, those two gay friends of his first wife, Pattie, who she said they told her they had sex with Jay] to COME FORWARD & COMMENT BELOW. I am thinking they may have met Jay at one or another of the Mr. Henry”s restaurants in D.C., either in the late 1960s or the early 1970s, as Jay told me he worked at one Mr. Henry’s restaurant back then, and that restaurant chain was known as a club that gays frequented. Sorry if I got too “graphic” up here, but I had to let it all out, to expose everything I know about Jay. Careful, Jay might hide in AA meetings [not where he met me, by the way, b/c I am not an alcoholic] to find his next victim, seeing as how most of his past victims have been in vulnerable states in their lives. I implore you, do a THOROUGH background investigation on him if you think to date him or live with him. I am afraid to do one myself..afraid of what I might find out. Who knows. Possibly, the time he spent at Edgemeade might have been actually for some sex offense, but that is just me guessing, but I would not be surprised if it turned out to be true, as I look back on how he exploited me. His M.O. has been to use women to escape his former girlfriends/wives. He even admitted to me that one issue he had w/Lorrie was that he could not show affection w/o it having to do w/sex [whatever affection he showed, it was only for getting himself off sexwise.] I moved on 2 mos. after Jay left me & found a good man that I did not have to fix, everything that Jay is not & has everything that Jay did not have.

2/14/2011 3:24:37 PM - I surmise that Jay kept me clued out, for almost a year, if not longer, that he was more than just a “friend” to Melinda. How that began, I can only imagine that it did while he was hired to paint her home. So, I can only imagine him doing the deceitful “unthinkable” with her asking him about his sex life with me [he, at that point, had been my only partner for at least 7 years, if not longer, and ever since we began our relationship] and probably him asking her about hers with Ed. I guess he fully divulged everything, holding nothing back, to tell her everything he thought [or made up, that was false, about me], betraying my trust, cheapening me, & hurt me in the deepest possible ways. I picked Jay up when he was “dusty” .. supported his morale through his separation/divorce to/with Lorrie, & through his bankruptcy [ow! What a headache! What baby mama drama!], when he drove cabs to stay afloat, when his sister Dulce died, etc. I helped him rear his daughter when I allowed her to stay almost every other weekend with us, for years, and mentored her, as much as any stepmother would. I worked in his Battle Street shop FOR NO PAY. I helped him set up his strip mall displays, to sell what was left of his goods .. designed necklaces, etc., did whatever I could to help him, and overlooked his history of alcoholism..to find the “best” in Jay, only to find, in the end, he was a fraud, looking for the “next best thing” .. that is how he repaid my friendship. I do not know what was worse, that he denied there was anyone else, over & over again, when I confronted him & asked the seeming betrayal by our mutual friends who left me “last to know” his ad on that swingers site or his cumulative lies about his past [like flipping the script to say that Pattie cheated on him, when it was, I allege, and she told me so~~ the other way around!] He fooled my family members, too. They thought he was so “charming” [just like he has had many others think of him, at first, and for years]..convinced them that he loved me. He derailed my life in a big way and he deserves to stay profiled up here. My final opinions are stated, next. I think he deceived Melinda, too, led her to believe that he was only sleeping with her while still sexing me for another year. If he respected her one bit, then he would have told her that we still enjoyed an active sex life even after he had sex with her the first time. Instead, I think he told her half truths when telling her about me but meanwhile was not up front with her enough to tell her everything, so he could still get what he wanted from her..which, in my opinion was SEX, MONEY & YET ANOTHER PLACE TO LAY HIS HEAD &/or to start over any number of his businesses that flopped. If he had been 100 percent honest he would not have gone after the sex he wanted from EACH of us in that same year [or possibly more]. He was a home improvements handyman. I think most of his clients were women, when he lived with me. But I allege his M.O. was to get women by being their best “confidante” or “advisor” about their “bad” boyfriends, & to move from woman to woman to keep from having to care for himself. Why do I think these things? Seems Jay has only been “wronged” his entire adult sexual life by be a gold digger of women, so he wants it to appear he “never did anything wrong.”

2/15/2011 1:31:00 PM - TO JAY BROWN: Any wonder why your cassette tape of your Night Patrol band is no longer in your possession [after all, I spent at least two years with you, admiring/cosseting you, no better than a groupie would, babysitting your daughter, when you were in that group]? Or why the original MASTER TAPES you made of me/you performing in those jazz bands we formed together, are no longer in your possession? Maybe you left them behind after I had the locks changed, after you broke the lease & ABANDONED me! Well, my S.O., after you helped me to produce my CD, made from those tapes, which I consequently sold to many MD/VA/DC friends, who love me, & who NOW KNOW ABOUT YOU! Maybe you were JEALOUS of me, b/c I had good press about my musical performances, long before you ever did, when I performed as a solo artist, & also since your leaving me. Maybe NOW you know what it feels like to have your musical soul raped! Seemed you glommed onto any song I liked, to back me on them. Almost seems now like you were trying to assume MY personality/identity..seemed like you counted on me admiring the duo of Tuck & Patty Andress & how they succeeded as a team. I did not MAKE you do that, or work with me, you WANTED to, & even said so on a cable show..video of us. Then you turned around, in the end, & said, JUSTIFYING your sick actions, accusingly, to say, “you wanted me to work for you!” One BETTER guitarist [jazz style] I worked with, since you, his parents were diplomats, married for life as their hobby, his father played jazz guitar, his mother was the vocalist in their duo. So I KNOW that there are exceptions to the “keep professional/personal separate” rule. I know better now, that I should never have trusted you. STUPID BOY! Me having that Night Patrol tape of yours and my master tapes of our performances together, is not that much different than your trying to keep a half nude photo of me, that you took without my express permission. Like having your history “erased” or not being able to find records of it? Ha ha. Think about THAT, A~HOLE!

2/21/2011 12:23:13 PM - RE Paula, the sister who loaned him $17,000. She had a write up, I think it was in Newsweek magazine [not sure which pub] about her successful human resources biz [I think it was a temp company in CT], that Jay said her successful husband, Joe [I think he was disabled, he was always in a wheelchair when I saw him..seemed like a nice man], helped her start up, w/his money. Well, if [not sure if she thought this way] Paula [Pendergast~not sure how she spelled her last name] thought I was not financially “set” enough for her brother, she possibly could have used her DC HR connections [if she had any] to help me secure/begin a STABLE profession, instead of me having to work for agencies/contracts [however high~paying they were & w/benefits while they lasted] I worked to help float our household. I did not ask Paula for help or any handouts/favors like I think Jay did from his sisters/mother. [TO PAULA: Did a woman w/a B.A., the daughter of a retired diplomat not have enough “social standing” to be the mate of your brother? Or was it just ok for you & your sisters to have that “good life” & find successful mates/husbands, but not a woman who struggled through recessionary times & a bad economy, w/Jay, to help him raise Jolene? If so, that would be quite the double standard by which to hold any woman! Too bad no one in your family warned me about how dysfunctional Jay is/was, when knowing such could have saved me 8.5 years of ANGUISH. Now I am here to warn other women about him. Paula, I honestly believe that you & your sisters, if not your mother, should have committed Jay to a mental institution long ago. HOW MANY MORE LIVES WILL HE BE ALLOWED TO DESTROY?! I believe that his biological family should have INTERVENED to do that, so that he would not hurt women in his life. Sadly, I believe he is a SOCIOPATH, & I think, if you had any compassion at all, you would not let Melinda go through the same thing I went through, but TELL her, if you know that/if he has any mental disorders, TELL her WHAT THEY ARE! If at least 2 people profiled their own brothers on DDHG [James Dixon, area is “Hillsborough” .. alleged to be a child molester, & Eric Harrell, area is/was Philly, PA, alleged to sell his sex & alleged crossdresser], & at least one daughter profiled her own father [Richard Smith, area also is/was Philly, PA, alleged to have had 6 wives], then what, Paula? Have you less guts than a daughter who reported her own father, or 2 others who reported their own brother, to warn other women??? The very least you could have done was TELL ME, in the beginning of my relationship w/Jay, that Jay owed you $17,000! It would have saved me YEARS of grief! Jay humiliated me & embarrassed not only me but my family members. It seems only fair to me that karma would smack some of your family members in their faces, to humiliate/embarrass them, likewise, by exposing how I think you & others “enabled” him, & how I think you omitted telling me about his mental disorders [if you knew of any], if so, failed to WARN me about him. The only person in your family who vaguely hinted that Jay might be a spath, was his daughter, Jolene, who mentioned something~think it was in my 4th or 5th year w/him~that Jay was more or less a womanizer. “OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES” [not unlike those Art Linkletter shows]! I ignored her warnings & should not have done. Would it bother you to know that, on one vacation we took to Dewey Beach, DE, w/Jolene, James & a female friend to Jolene [possibly still a teen at the time, who told me she was on an antidepressant], that, the next morning after our 1st night at the beach, Jolene confided that Andrea had sex w/James [who was, I think, in the Army at the time]? Jay & I, had she gotten pregnant, could have been cited as having “contributed to the delinquency of minors”! Little, it seemed, that Jay or James cared about those potential repercussions. I WENT THROUGH HELL & BACK W/YOUR BROTHER! Jolene also embarrassed me at one point, much later in the relationship, she blurted out that the reason Jay stopped having sex w/her mother was because Lorrie had a dropped uterus & it was painful for her to have sex w/Jay. Jay brought her up on that remark, but I actually think that Lorrie may have stopped having sex w/Jay because she possibly caught on to his down~low ways, so may have been worrying about contracting some disease from him. I wondered, for years & years later, why everyone in his family seemed to be “covering” for him & enabling him. He denied, when I confronted him, that he was a sex addict, though his actions spoke volumes otherwise.] He told me that he would return to AA & that he would see a therapist [who I once saw when I was put on administrative leave unlawfully, which I won a settlement b/c of it, over issues that Jay said I should have “put up & shut up” about..not supportive AT ALL], but then flipped it around to suggest I needed to see a therapist again, when HE WAS THE ONE WITH THE ISSUES!

2/21/2011 3:50:55 PM - One last entry… Jay very well could have [if he did not actually do so] compromised my career path or jobs I held, with his porn buying/renting habits, because that path required me holding/keeping high~level govt. clearances that sometimes required having the FBI investigate me, inquire of my neighbors, etc. The kinds of “sensitive” positions I held required that I not be “easily influenced” by anyone else. Well, when a person suffers abuse at home & she meanwhile tries to ensure that she has a good job/profession..tries to maintain some decent level of independence, “just in case” her partner proves disreputable/abusive, it is nigh impossible for her to extricate herself from her domestic abusive situation, if her partner compromises her standing in the professional community. Think about that Judge Thomas & the case filed against him by Anita Hill. Think about his alleged porn habits. [Oh, and Paula..do not think I am a “light weight” .. Sure, I did not earn my B.A. until I was age 40. It is difficult enough for a woman to secure decent professional standing, before age 40, but it gets worse after she turns 40. You may know NOTHING about these things or about age discrimination, as your life path seemed to be “privileged”, but I was on the Dean”s List in my last semester, had a 3.3 GPA. I would have had a 3.6 GPA or higher, possibly even a 4.0, had I not endured abuse from my 1st husband..the only husband “legal” on paper, & while attending college. I divorced my husband after only 4 years, mid college track, & left him, because of his abuse, to live with a single mother, a Montessori school teacher who had to see a therapist because of abuse from her porn addicted ex husband, who she suspected might have molested her child, under age 4. I helped her to care for her daughter. My husband, after I left him, accused me of being a whore, though, sex with a man was the LAST thing on my mind, while metriculating, & I had never been unfaithful during my marriage. But that was HIS justification, flipping the script, much like Jay did to me. I was still in college then. My “mantra” now is borrowed from another woman who profiled her ex on the internet: “Mantra: Your actions will not change me. They will not make me a whore, or a psycho. I am a woman of principles today. I answer to God. No one else.” Jay only made my life more difficult than it was. But Paula, I suspect you would know NOTHING about these kinds of life hurdles. I am glad I grew up the only girl, with three brothers, who all respected their wives..their ONLY wives..one each. Glad that each & every one of my brothers has better moral compasses than I think Jay had. Glad that the only woman I could have learned “cattiness” from was my mother [Melinda told me that she had “issues” with her own mother; I also had “issues” with mine. I suspect Jay went for the jugular..saw the vulnerabilities in BOTH of us! I sense, now, that he knew about those kinds of vulnerabilities b/c he grew up with a preponderance of female siblings & females!], not from sisters who might have been gold~diggers. I am glad I am not Jay. Am glad that I am a STRONGER woman since Jay is not in my life!]

2/21/2011 5:49:24 PM - Better than that “Showgirls” movie.. hear Hands Clean by Alanis Morissette: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6pkKXtgXTI ...Heal with music, if you are a female musician..or not a musician!

2/21/2011 6:15:09 PM - Hey..I know about those kinds of tunes. When I was age 18, I learned, note for note, the open tunings of Joni Mitchell, to sing them on stage in DC, NM, CO & VA venues, for money. No woman I met, besides the woman who taught me open tunings in high school, knew how to play those tunes likewise..no one I have known since, has performed them like Joni, the way my instructor taught me, and I performed them in three states..interpreted those songs. I think that was why Jay envied me, envied my talent. For example, the song, Gallery. It was about a guy who [I assume] was a painter or who collected nude photos of all his female conquests. Well, I think Jay did the same thing. I think he JUST DOES NOT LEARN from his mistakes. I have been a fan of J. Mitchell ever since, especially of her album, Turbulent Indigo..especially “Sex Kills,” “Not To Blame,” “Magdalene Laundries,” “Borderline” and “The Sire of Sorrow” … I cannot but help but thing that one message Jay conveyed to me, “Your lovemaking [read: sex!] was much too strong for me” was Jay transferring his too~late aggression, about what he felt, as a child, when the incident of sexual abuse he described to me, as having happened [which he seemed to pass off as merely child”s play, when he told me about it] happening, between his gay cousin & himself, when he was age 12..that he was “transferring” this hidden, pent~up aggression toward Paul Brown onto me, as if he never, but should have, told Paul, “you have no right to sexually abuse me when I was a minor!” It was as if I was to be his sacrificial lamb, to abuse, likewise. It was as if I suddenly took on the sins of Paul Brown, and I was supposed to be the scapegoat, because of the incest between he & Paul, that Jay had described to me as having occurred..as if he was purposely hurting my soul, the way he had described to me that Paul, and/or his sister, Linda, had hurt his!

4/16/2011 6:47:58 PM - I have reached the conclusion..my opinion..that Jay ENVIES women..HATES them, deep down, but REALLY WANTS TO BE A WOMAN. You see, IMOP, Jay cannot be truly vulnerable, with ACTUAL emotions, so he FAKES them. He cannot actually FEEL true emotions, so he FAKES/MIRRORS them. He is ENVIOUS of women b/c he has seen [seen this because his older sisters had men PROVIDE for them, who were NOT gay] that his sisters had men PROTECT them, so wanted the same thing, only, because he was born with a PENIS, he could not have the same thing, so went after women, SERIALLY, to TRY TO CONFUSE THEM, tried to have THEM SEXUALLY CONFUSED, in the SAME WAY that he feels. He cannot bleed. Does not have a vagina. Could never be vulnerable or IN PAIN enough to have gone through monthly periods for decades nor experienced PERI~MENOPAUSE/MENOPAUSE [so, in my opinion, he MANIPULATED the circumstances of my own, probably due to his MISOGYNY & HATE of the female species!] to know that type of grief/pain.] He cannot breed children, so he could NEVER find a REAL man to “protect” him, like HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN have, but WISHES HE COULD. This is my opinion about JAY BROWN, aka EVERETT RAYMOND BROWN JR! Why else would he have worn MY PANTIES during sex play, one time [as if THAT was supposed to be FOREPLAY, & WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE DONE THE SAME THING WITH HIS 1ST WIFE, WHO DESCRIBED SAME TO ME!? Why would SHE say that he wanted to REVERSE SEX ROLES w/HER, & ASKED HER TO WEAR A STRAP ON TO PENETRATE HIM? [Why else would he have DONNED MY WIG, one time] .. EXACT circumstances that Pattie described to me [except for the wig part]? Why else would he have ROLE PLAYED that “pharaoh” thing he did, w/his T~shirt dangling from his head, like a headband. I thought, after things were all done w/us, years later, that he PRETENDED TO BE A FEMALE even then! Forget the cloth of the T~shirt, think WOMAN WITH LONG HAIR! HA HA. WHAT A MIXED UP SICK PERVERT! Answer those things & if you cannot, you will probably arrive at the same conclusion/opinion that I have & continue to have, after 11+ years, that he HAS A SEXUAL IDENTITY PROBLEM & is MENTALLY ILL! Why else would he, when he was living with me, have discussed my supposed “perimenopausal problem” with Melinda Yalom .. taking my PRIVATE/MEDICAL business to HER, then bought a book for me about perimenopause on HER SUGGESTION [he said it was HER suggestion]? THINK ABOUT THAT! I still think JAY IS MENTALLY ILL! Trust him & you are at your FINANCIAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL [at least as far as him eroding..or trying to..your sensual confidence], PSYCHOLOGICAL & possibly PHYSICAL peril!

6/24/2011 7:57:00 AM - Looks more like Janis Joplin than Robert Plant in this photo. Maybe his fantasy was to be Joplin, not Plant?

6/24/2011 10:29:59 AM - To comment above this one. Thanks. Good point. If you see the old photo of him I posted, on http://www.womansavers.com/uploads/ragsurveypics/sociopath,%20pursed%20lips.jpg, the fixed expression on his face looks similar to that of Janis Joplin, on the cover of a biography of Joplin by Myra Friedman, BURIED ALIVE [only, her lips were not pursed, and the lips of Jay Brown do appear to be PURSED in that photo! In another profile I posted about him, I explained how he often PROJECTED his own quirks onto me. I described how he liked to point out my foibles or oddities, one of them was my occasional pursed lips. DO YOU GET IT, YET???] I read in it, more or less, that Janis also had a confused sexual identity..sexed both men and women, and always had a problem with her image..INSECURE, was described as greedy and confused by many, seemed to want to have sex with any man or woman who she fancied, and had substance abuse issues most of her adult life...and if he DID have a fantasy about being Janis Joplin, I will bet you his fantasy included him being Janis WHILE sexing a woman! DO NOT underestimate the FACTS I have written in any profiles I have posted about him, up here or on DDHG. I STILL keep the PROOF, and he CANNOT do away with that!

7/2/2011 10:08:46 AM - I believe it is Jay Brown [who else could it be? No one in my established social circles since Jay would do this sick thing] who keeps having SPAM emails sent via 3rd parties who keep sending me email containing ads for Viagra, Cialis & “penis enlargement” .. He should know that whenever/if he does that, it will REAP MORE EXPOSURE for him & his gay male cousin. I recommend, again, viewing the profile about his cousin, Paul Brown, on datingpsychos.com. The URL for it is [replace wavy dashes w/straight dashes]: http://datingpsychos.com/psycho/Paul~Brown/5304 … I also recommend to read also the profile up here for Tony Lewis Shortall, http://womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=14918 , as, in the comment section under that profile, the profiler mentions that Shortall was on the Down Low list of Jay Brown [I assume it is the SAME Jay Brown I knew] Jay underestimated [probably still does] my intelligence. I still believe that Jay Brown is a SICK [as in MENTALLY ILL] MONSTER. MY OPINION: Jay SEEMS like a very affable person [liked by many who do not know who he REALLY is] until you fall victim to his ulterior motives. Jay is no good, sick as in MENTALLY ILL, will play w/emotions, feelings & the values of women, is a sex addict posturing as the ideal son~in~law, uses the whole “pity me” routine, then turns everything back about him & his needs/issues. Was bankrupt, financially/emotionally while living w/me, was/is crude & sexually led. If you think he is sweet, that is his M.O. b/c he is MANIPULATING YOU. Honestly, I think Jay has unlawfully leveraged business/personal relationships to his own personal financial posture, to commit fraud serially. DO NOT let him take racy pictures of you, you never know what he might do w/them. Over time [this might take years] he acts like you are lucky to spend time w/him. Then, he will flip the conversation around when you ask him about something that you correctly sense is wrong, to have it seem like what is actually wrong is YOUR fault & you are whacky for querying him [one example of his GASLIGHTING technique.] Jay, underneath his surface façade, has no desire to be in a relationship whatsoever, so eventually looks for ways to ruin it so he can then justify his cheating. He will coax you into an unhealthy relationship that isolates you step by step from your friends. He comes across as enthusiastic to launch new businesses, eager to develop new relationships, get connected in town. If you dare to find out his game plan he will start to make you double guess yourself. I suspect that Jay will continue w/his lying, even if that means using children, families & friends as scapegoats in his lies. Seems Jay has cultivated a pathetic ability to make you feel pity for him, to prey on soft hearted or vulnerable women, to help him. I helped him get back on his feet during & after his divorce from Lorrie. How was I repaid? Abuse in many forms! I think Jay will forever seek out people to pay his way & use/abuse. Jay seems to have a slight preference for shorter brunettes w/long hair {hence, Evelyn & Melinda}, & “earth lady” types. [I, too, am an “earth lady type” in many ways], who I think are more likely to be receptive to his bull crap, & blind to his deceitful ways, though I think he would sex anything that gave him enough attention. Maybe he feels like more the “giant” {omnipotent, god~like} when the woman is even shorter than I was, who knows. I only know that I think he is a slave to his too often LIMP cock [hence masturbation to gay male porn while w/me] & likes/liked to play the “CUCKOLD” game. He is much like Jim Slotten {also profiled up here}: “zero respect for women [] cheated on his wife of 24 years more than once [] completely destroyed his relationship with his daughter [] then he cheated on the woman he moved in with [] you may never realize what”s going on behind that quiet exterior until it”s too late [] he will destroy your life. When he wants out of a relationship, he”ll find another woman to help him destroy whoever he is currently with because he’s too cowardly to leave a relationship the honorable way” See profile up here for Jonathan James Russell, http://www.womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=29276, as well, & the one for Stephen E Macavoy, http://www.womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=3981

7/23/2011 10:26:12 AM - Toward the end, Jay had a way of keeping things vague & make it seem like I had no right to know what went on in his life.. the worst kind of user b/c it takes him years to break the hearts of some women. It will become none of your business in what order he lived, where, or with whom. I strongly believe that Jay knows not the difference between real love & the giddy glow of new relationships. Either he cannot fathom how his words/actions affect others or cares not how he hurts people after getting them deeply attached to him. It is almost as though he is “retarded” on a certain level. His relationship history is long w/cheating & breaking societal courtship/romantic/sexual rules. It has been a pattern for most of his adult life. Eventually, he will break ALL financial, emotional, religious & sexual promises, & will toss you aside at your lowest point. I am not sure if his juvie record was sealed or expunged, but no matter..if a juvie crime or an adult crime..crimes are STILL crimes! What was I thinking? A 2~count loser on the marriage scene? Going bankrupt? His sister Paula had him sign a document stating if he went bankrupt he could not write off his 17K debt to her? BIG RED FLAGS! Despite his charming “presentation” of “the artistic carpenter/painter/musician & “jewelry repair person” .. HEED MY WARNING, OR YOU WILL FOLLOW IN MY FOOTSTEPS! My current love, since Jay, of >10 years, former PROFESSIONAL DRAFTSMAN, won ART HONORS in high school, plays guitar, IMOP, like Eric Clapton & Buddy Guy, can “draw circles” around the “artistic” talents of Jay Brown, can PLAY GUITAR better than Jay Brown.., is, in my opinion, A BETTER CARPENTER than Jay Brown, is SEXIER than Jay Brown, & MORE FINANCIALLY STABLE than Jay Brown, & is MORE CULTURED than Jay Brown! Raspberries to you.., Melinda Yalom..I guess you are STUCK w/Jay Brown..STUCK w/a 3~TIME LOSER! OTHER PROFILES ON JAY [you must be a registered user on the site to view these profiles, or before searching the names of guys, using the “Search” feature, but these should still be up there, and you can see different photos of him, from the 1990s, when I lived with him, most of which are not on womansavers.com]: http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84065/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84063/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84057/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89815/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89817/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89811/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/89800/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/cheater_view/84064/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/74748/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/94796/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/94682/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/94678/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/94668/ & http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/213784/ PROFILES & PHOTOS ON HIS GAY MALE COUSIN, PAUL BROWN, CAN BE SEEN ON: http://www.datingpsychos.com/psycho/PaulBrown/5660 & http://www.datingpsychos.com/psycho/PaulBrown/5304 & http://womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=29062

9/25/2011 12:13:14 PM - Jay is like DDHG profiled Matt Clark [Farmington, Granby Age, CT]: “brings other women into the picture. Lies, omits info, involves you in his pity parties for these other women “friends” tells you you”re crazy for feeling suspicious and then sees and talks to them when you”re not there. Takes your choices away to leave by lying and suggests that you doubt your gut feelings. Relies on imbalance in relationship to serve himself [ ] Sociopath” Jay left me in financial straights, admittedly left his 2nd wife, Lorrie, in financial straights, and he will leave the next woman, after me, in financial straights. Stay clear! Possessive, jealous, mentally ill .. does not even BEGIN to describe how I remember him. I remember him as emotionally/sexually/psychologically abusive, .. who CAN BE physically abusive, too. I remember him as a SHAPE SHIFTER and sexual deviant. He lured me in by pretending to be a family man. Aside from the pathological lying/ cheating, I think he has an addiction to wearing the underclothing of women [did so right in front of me] and buying dildos to use on himself. Pattie, wife #1 refused to wear a strap on [he asked her to use it on him.] He has dressed up in my underwear and bra. I think he is closet gay or at the very least, gender confused.. has SERIOUS mental issues. Seems Jay is jealous of others who are successful in life, ..was abusive in ALL ways.. mentally, [can be] physically, emotionally, sexually, and yes, toward the end, verbally, too. He cheats and is deceitful about his life. He has used numerous others for whatever he wanted or could not do or get for himself. Vengeful, too, with his lies/cheating/betrayal/deceit. Seems he did not have a self identity or self respect. Too many short lived relationships. Much more & much deeper going on with him, deeper issues that take much too long to discover. He has SERIALLY used women to get what he wanted, and lied to get it. Never trust him! He can never be honest or faithful.. is not worthy to be called a man. He wanted to be famous? Well..now he is, but for reasons other than what he thought he would be. He should not be surprised, in future, to find himself blacklisted by every man/woman/musician or music store owner in VA/MD/DC, who were kind enough to lend me an ear & hear me out, about him..many active listeners without whom, I could not be made whole again and cleared after his abuse of me. I am NOT one to stay muted about abuse, like I think he wanted.Worse, he will not end things with you until he has another victim in the wings. Any..even if fewer as years go by..residual/stark memories of his face while he whacked off to gay male porn..still sickens me just thinking about them. If you have had any Shady Jay experiences, please share the times/locations, to lock down those time frames, to further expose him, more so if you are a GAY MALE, like one of the two friends of his first wife, Pattie, or her little sister, who is full grown now, and able to tell what she knows of him.[[Guess what Jay..many of your friends or former friends in VA KNOW who you REALLY are, now..I made sure of that..at least FORTY of them know, b/c I mailed them all photo copies of your ad from that swingers site. Just think..Bob Tully, Les Thompson..and many more know..could be why you had to high tail it to the home of yet another female victim, IN ANOTHER STATE!..leaving “carnage”.., i.e., the hearts/souls of women, children and their extended families in his wake!]] Jay would not “man up” in the end, to tell me the truth about Melinda..just slunk away like the coward he is.

9/26/2011 12:13:49 PM - And to Evelyn Vignola..well Evelyn.., still hiding your head in the sand about Jay? Did you actually GIVE him that photo he had, when he lived with me, that George Vincent did of you, OR DID HE STEAL IT, as another “souvenir” of his conquests? If I recall correctly, you probably met him, between 1968 and 1971, when/if he was working at Mr. Henrys in D.C. [Jay told me he worked there briefly]..common now, Evelyn.., HOW MANY STRAIGHT GUYS WOULD WORK IN AN ESTABLISHMENT KNOWN TO BE A GAY HANGOUT? CONNECT THE DOTS, LADY!!You should probably ask yourself if you were just another Beard back then, who unknowingly covered for his other life! And it seems he FURTHER snowed you into becoming part of his “forever entourage”..one of his paramours in his past.. [I call it his “harem”..kept to build his narcissistic ego..his “supply”..groupies?!] .. snowed you into condoning his union [very possibly marriage, which, I think is his THIRD FRAUDULENT marriage, if so!] to Melinda Yalom. Convinced you to be a friend of hers, did he? Did he not try that with you, too, when you met me & he convinced you to stay overnight at my apartment? DO YOU NOT LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE? He cheated on you with ME, when he lived with you at that BIG JOKE house in McLean or Great Falls, VA. Wake up! When he lived with you, did he want YOU to get a “chocolate fingernail” by going up his derriere with your finger, like he tried with me? Or to wear a strap on to “do” him, like he tried with Pattie? Did he show YOU that photo of him dressed in drag, in his younger days [that he claimed was “only for Halloween”], as he did to me? THINK ABOUT IT! If you choose to remain his friend, to me, you are NO BETTER THAN A FAG HAG! If you, Evelyn, cannot empathize with a woman who has been through 8.5 years of this kind of trauma, then I pity you! My best friend since jr high, a stellar chef in the restaurant business across several states, for years, also had a DOWN LOW FRAUD for the husband before her last..before the GOOD husband [still with her after 20 years & 3 children, thank god!] Fortunately she was only married to him for less than 4 years. When she discovered what he was, she almost committed suicide. He had the gall, after their divorce, to ask her is she still wanted to be his “f*ck buddy”..yes! What gall! Evelyn..go see the movie, “Lilith” [starring Warren Beatty. That film struck such a chord with me that I actually bought the film, for posterity.], then you will know what I think Jay Brown is..a schizophrenic and narcissist with DISASSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER. I think he is like the female, Lilith, in that film..SERIOUSLY! After watching the film, you MIGHT come to know WHAT CAUSED THE 1st WIFE OF JAY BROWN TO LATER BECOME A SUCCESSFUL LICENSED CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER! Pattie told me that when she lived with Jay, Jay had not stopped selling drugs. If that is true, then his time at Edgemeade did not “cure” him of that. And if it was true, then that very possibly, if not probably ALSO meant that he did so while living with YOU, too, Evelyn! [[Is that what YOU wanted, Melinda Yalom..a BAD BOY with a BAD PAST? If so, you must have been pretty DESPERATE, since I think these kinds of issues underlie MORE than just someone with a slight “character flaw” who can change with rehab, but rather, someone with a long history of MENTAL ILLNESS!]] I seriously think you should be particularly VIGILANT, in case that “pipe smoking club” he joined, apparently years ago, and probably ALL MALE] is not just a RUSE for getting time away from you, to have SEX WITH MEN on the sly! [toward the end of our relationship, he told me he wanted to go to an ALL MALE PARTY by himself! Do NOT naively assume that that activity is just an “innocent male bonding” thing, like that of a Man”s Man, going to the all male club..for example, at country clubs, etc.] My opinion, but.. I think his family benefits/benefitted from his cheating so that women other than them would take care of him & they would not have to pay for his stay in a mental institution, where I seriously think he belongs..that or in jail!

9/26/2011 3:12:51 PM - As well, Melinda, those nights, weeks, possibly two months, before he left me, when he said he was rehearsing with MY former band members, WITHOUT ME, might ALSO have been a “ruse” for him to go have sex with men on the sly. I would not, if I were you, hold ANYTHING HE SAYS as TRUTH! I would not trust ONE WORD out of his mouth if I were you! It was because of HIM that it took me a loooong time to trust another man with my body/soul. It is because of MALES LIKE HIM..is my opinion..that the GOOD guys in life, who do women no harm, are caused to suffer! Jay caused Ed Rejuney, subsequently, after he CUCKOLDED Ed [your former husband] to DISMISS ME, or “turn” on me, did he not..when Ed would not not even giving me ONE HOUR of his time, after all was done and over, to discuss things, when before your affair with Jay, Ed SEEMED to be my friend, too, for a couple of years? In truth, Melinda, I do not blame you for leaving Ed. In retrospect, Ed seems like a supercilious enemic PRAT, though a brilliant one, CLASSICALLY/MUSICALLY TRAINED, with a college degree..which JAY BROWN HAD NONE OF, yet, if you have not realized it yet, which I guess you probably have, by now, Jay had what I think were/are his PERPETUAL IMPOTENCY or ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION issues? Was it worth it, Melinda, to stab another woman in the back, to barge in on another woman’s long term domestic relationship, for a FRAUD? Or, possibly, after the fact, you AGREED to an “open marriage” with Jay [or with Ed, before Jay]? These are things that others WILL wonder, about you and your character, or lack of it. That is karma! Anyone with this questionable of a sexual past should be avoided. What was he thinking when posting that ad on a swingers site, for [I guess NSA/discrete sex with bi and bicurious man/men..STRANGERS?! STRANGERS WHO MIGHT HAVE JUST GOTTEN OUT OF PRISON?! Does anyone think Jay is NOT stupid for doing that? If so, then he/she is the STUPID ONE! When he lies, he lies DEFIANTLY [like he has a SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT about it], without conscience! If that is not a sociopath, then I do not know what one is! I easily compare Jay to Stanley Harvey Burkart, also profiled up here, because, according to the Burkart profile, Burkart wanted anal sex..the woman who had an affair with Burkart called his wife..thought his wife much have so much low self esteem not to leave him. Based on my 8.5 years with Jay, and what I discovered later from his 1st wife, Pattie, I can honestly say my final opinion of Jay is that he is a time waster who never keeps promises because dishonesty rules his life, that he is an individual who lacks character and has consistently tried to deflect his indiscretions onto his victims. I once saw a program from the America’s Most Wanted Series, about a woman who perservered for 10 years to expose the lies of her ex husband, a fraud and bigamist. He was FINALLY caught when her 10 year campaign to expose him paid off. Without her persistence, law enforcement could not catch him. I hope my persistence does the same, before he acquires and transmits STDs to one or more persons. If one or more of his sisters knows he has a mental disorder [if he has one]..then SHAME ON THEM for not warning his partners! IT WAS AS IF IT WAS A SICK RITUAL FOR HIM, FOR DECADES, TO HONK AFTER MARRIED WOMEN & TRY TO BREAK UP THEIR MARRIAGES, EVEN WHILE IN A MARRIAGE OR LIVING WITH A WOMAN, SUPPOSEDLY “COMMITTED” TO HER..SUPPOSEDLY “EXCLUSIVE”! WHO DOES THAT, IF NOT A SOCIOPATH?! WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JAY AND A BIGAMIST?! I THINK..NO DIFFERENCE! .. and all those years..the whole time..pretending we were a blended family..with the SEEMING approval of his mother, to our “family unit” to boot! NEVER TRUST ANY GUY WHO WHEN GREETING HIS MOTHER KISSES HER ON THE LIPS INSTEAD OF THE CHEEK! SUSPECT INCEST, INSTEAD! I swear to God..one photo I have of him with his mother, at her 80th Birthday celeb, it looks like she is PRETENDING he is her husband, & appears, likewise, that he does not mind her pretending to indulge that fantasy .. or else he seems like he is so grateful that she gave him shelter..probably rent free, when he was in process of divorcing his SECOND wife! Seriously!

9/30/2011 1:08:50 PM - My bringing to light, on line, his crap is no different than what any other brave person would do if a minister or priest asked, before a couple finally tied the knot, at the wedding ceremony, “If anyone has cause to know why this couple should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Well, I think a person SHOULD speak up before the final knot is tied when he/she knows that the groom~to~be hankers after MAN SEX! Yes! EVEN IF HE/SHE HAS TO CRASH THE WEDDING! He/she should state LOUDLY, “NO! THIS FRAUD SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED AGAIN. HE HAS ALREADY ABUSED THREE WOMEN AND WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH MEN WHILE WITH ME! I HAVE THE PROOF!” The problem is, not enough brave people are speaking up. There needs be THOUSANDS of people speaking up. It is probably too late now, as I think [my opinion] he has entered into yet ONE MORE FRAUDULENT MARRIAGE. Jay will turn the story around on you to justify his indiscretions.. will destroy you before you find out the complete story..the complete poop on him. In my opinion, any guy who wants his wife to “reverse roles” and wear a strap on to “do” him is a sick master manipulator and emotional cripple. This male is not to be trusted in any fashion, business or personal. At first, you will believe, “Gee, Jay must be a good/standup guy and family man because he adopted James [son born allegedly out of wedlock to Lorrie Walters.]” DO NOT DO IT! I think that is EXACTLY what Jay WANTS you to think, that he COUNTS on it. Now it just makes me sick to think about how often Jay may have seen or touched James when he was a little naked kid. I say MAY .. it is just speculation, but would not YOU wonder, if YOU found an ad that any guy placed on a swingers site, for BI SEX WITH MEN, and especially given that he TOLD me that when he was age 12 he had oral sex with his GAY male cousin [see profile on Paul Brown, http://www.womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=29062]?!! I repeat..CONNECT THE DOTS, PEOPLE! Jay also told me, while living with me, that at one point James had to have some kind of behavioral counseling because he was doing poorly in school. Think about it. My parents divorced too, when I was age 15, but I never needed behavioral counseling, did well in school. So I have to wonder WHY, if James did need that counseling, WHAT WAS THE REASON? And I wonder why I seldom saw James give his father a gift for his birthday or for Christmas [he did once or twice..but in 8.5 years with Jay, I only witnessed those two times.] If I were Lu Walters, I would cut the gonads off Jay Brown. A GOOD adoptive father never leaves his adopted family..I know this..my brother adopted a child..is STILL with that wife, more than 20 years later! Jay also admitted to me, when living with me, that his mother “told” him to marry Lorrie [2nd wife] before he did [as if he could not decide on his own? Does this not also remind you of the mother in the movie, The Manchurian Candidate? What GROWN/MATURE MAN needs his MOTHER to tell him who he SHOULD or SHOULD NOT marry?! Maybe a mercenary one? Ya think? Instructing her son in mercenary/greedy ways? That is my guess. After all, Lu and Bonnie, parents of Lorrie, had a BUSINESS of their own. My guess is that that scenario represented an “easy way” for Jay to never have to look for work again, when he could work in their shop! None of my three brothers needed my mother to tell them who to marry, and each of them is STILL married to his SAME wife! An example, I think, which is the DIFFERENCE between a family WITH morals and one that is WITHOUT morals! I also suspect he overlapped wife #1 and wife #2.]

10/1/2011 2:18:27 PM - Besides his, I allege, closet homosexuality or at least SEXUAL GENDER CONFUSION, Jay Brown, because of his [I allege] disturbed nature he is truly a mentally, emotionally [also potential physically] abusive individual who has cultivated a pathetic ability to have others feel sorry for him and his pathetic nature which for the soft hearted will make you want to befriend and help him. No woman should ever have to deal with the pain of having to find out the surprise sexual orientation of their mate to be a LIE. If you try to talk to Jay about how he is treating you or get angry with him he will turn it around on you and make it your fault. He is, I allege, a SERIAL ABANDONER who thrived on leaving his wives for other women, yet will flip the script, after he does, to PROJECT on YOU that YOU have “abandonment issues” And if those two STINKY PUSS FILLED CARBUNCLES he had on his back [that I convinced him to have removed, finally!], his not wearing any underwear the entire 8.5 years he lived with me, and him seldom brushing his teeth all those years, was not “evidence” of his poor hygiene habits..if those things about him were/are not enough to dissuade you from involvement with him..at least you were warned. He is HER problem now, not mine! I think he is STILL running from himself and leaving a trail of destruction behind him. He should know, that EACH AND EVERY TIME he looks into the eyes of the woman after me, he will realize that she is at least HALF the reason why he is profiled here and elsewhere. And just so you know that I am not “obsessed” because I have all these old photos of Jay.., when we lived together, I assembled a photo album FOR HIM, but felt, if his daughter [who I then thought was a member of my BLENDED FAMILY] left for college, I made copies of the album, so that she could remember her father, because I am THAT kind of family person. Only..she acquired an “attitude” after he left me, so I did not bother to give them to her; now I have BETTER use for them! Take a look into the eyes of a serial adulterer/liar and self obsessed individual. Part of his serial M.O. has been to give women rings to make them think he is in love with them. He custom made at least four gold rings, for me, as if those were “labor of love”..they were probably just more guilt gifts. Another part of his M.O. is collecting things from his women/victims, like photos [watch out for nude photos he snaps of you, in poses without your express permission!], furniture, etc., I think they are like “souvenirs” to him, of his conquests. We have read in the news about how sociopaths do that, have we not?

10/2/2011 1:44:36 PM - SUMMARY OF MY OPINION, also based on my years with him: After reading profiles up here and elsewhere that other women posted about their exes, those profiles helped me to find my own “voice”. Jay always cheated in order to leave or before leaving his relationships, will try to act like he will save you from your problems when really he is about to show you what problems really are. One moment he will have you on a pedestal, the next he will find any excuse to knock you off it. He has perfected the art of looking/acting sincere when in reality everything about him is nothing but a façade. He used my home to stash/view his smutty porn collection, has accountability issues, will demoralize you & justify everything to make himself look good/innocent, has infuriated many women, probably called them “crazy” , “cheaters” or “overreactors” when they called him out on his sick behavior, when in fact he is the one with the honesty issues & the crazy one .. a soul sucking vampire on your money/energy.., always cheats in order to leave the relationship .. is a CON ARTIST with hearts who thrives on drama, thinks w/his little head not his big one, & is good at guilt tripping women. I sense that he married Melinda Yalom as a “meal ticket” .. as a part of a premeditated plan, knowing probably, that she would make $ that he could live off, or very possibly a free place to store his dwindling rock shop inventory..half of his divorce settlement [at one time the inventory] from his folded Stone Art Business with wife #2. She only wanted what she THOUGHT I had! He also used the IDEAS of his former victims to woo his next victim [often took me to the favorite Chinese restaurant of Lorrie; suggested I eat my favorite snack, smoked oysters, the way SHE ate them..w/lime juice; got advice from Melinda on where WE would spend our vacation; probably later took her to Vietnamese/Thai restaurants, as that was my favorite thing; possibly takes her to the Main St. fish market in DC, b/c it was MY idea to go there, with him.] He will drain you emotionally/mentally/spiritually, is a giant female user who I think actually gets off on trying to create misery for his victims. I suspect that Jay has several personality disorders, that he plays tricks to confuse women, his favorites include appealing for pity.. crying crocodile tears, giving nice presents or doing extraordinary things before victimizing his targets. I suspect that when he cheats, he gets off on some kind of adrenaline rush, to see how much he can get away with, & I also think that when he began his affair w/Melinda, his sex addiction had already begun escalating. Jay is emotionally abusive, so subtle, you will not see it coming. Jay will suck you dry financially & emotionally. If he locks his phone very probably it is b/c there are #s, texts & emails that he does not want you to see. He takes on the complete boyfriend role, but IT IS AN ACT. He has mommy issues. Scarred as a child, he never fully got past it so does knows not how to have a proper committed/adult relationship.. has issues that convince him that everyone is at fault but him. A sexual deviant who enjoys lying & emotionally abusing women, Jay is nothing more than a mentally ill boy who continued to live w/me & told me he loved me for a whole year after he had already begun his affair w/Melinda. I also think Jay pays more attention to how his male sex organ feels during the sex act, than to how the woman feels. I believe he will lie to anyone, that he manufactures different personalities, one for each victim, then talks about them behind their backs to his next victim. Plus, he is an ADMITTED THIEF!

10/2/2011 2:52:42 PM - Unless he got rid of it, ask yourself why he has/had a large black & white poster of a nude [we suppose it is a black woman, but it might be a black transvestite b/c we do not see her frontal area or her face!] framed [yes..I had it framed for him, because, I also am one who enjoys eros but eros combined with agape..only when combined with HONEST LOVE..for ONE MAN ONLY!] He bought that poster on the last trip to the outer banks with me, bought it in a store where, when he was standing in line, he blatantly flirted with another woman in the store, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Ask yourself where that pencil/charcoal etching came from..the one he said HE etched, of a nude, long haired brunette, reclining, her back turned to him, that he told me he drew when having a “foreshadowing” of me as his lover? Did he even draw it, or did someone else from who he stole it? I do not even think it was signed! Yes. CONNECT THE DOTS, everyone! He will do his best to erode your self esteem and NATURAL/sensual self confidence, little by little, across years..so subtle you WILL NOT NOTICE IT until way too late..after he has made his cowardly exit from your life! If he licks your arm pits and sucks on your toes, especially your big toe, and you think that is “erotic”..just think..he probably imagines himself sucking a BIG MALE PENIS instead! [one of the gay male porn flicks he bought had this large black male, well hung, that exclaimed, while beating off, “IM COMING!” [the adult movie place in Manassas, VA, where he bought/rented those flicks, will have records of his visits, as he was required to produce his drivers license. I believe it is a state law to keep the records, as law enforcement wants to keep an eye, guarding against sex offenders!] If he uses his T shirt as a “headband” , letting it fall to the sides of his head, appearing to be the “pharaoh” during foreplay, think, instead, HE IS PRETENDING TO BE A FEMALE, and that T shirt is REALLY the long hair of a female. If he asks you, when donning YOUR wig, during foreplay, is he looks like Robert Plant, think, instead, that HE IS PRETENDING TO BE A FEMALE..and IMMEDIATELY dump him, for I sincerely believe he is GENDER CONFUSED! When you finally wake up, possibly not until years after he is gone from your life, you will probably feel like you have come out of a coma, much like those who have been indoctrinated, against their will, into cults, like sex cults & religious cults, have felt. Now I wonder if his gay male cousin, when Jay was a minor..age 12, “groomed” Jay, beginning with GAY MALE PORN! If Jay, indeed, has serially “transferred” his sexual abuse/molestation, from childhood, onto his adult partners, across years, in other words..re~enacted the abuse, as if to “purge” it from his early experience, that “purging” will only last so long, before he is on to his NEXT victim..is my strong opinion, for I believe his “fix” does not last long.. is only temporary, that this cycle is CONTINUAL/PERPETUAL. I am no shrink, but I have read enough literature about this subject, for more than a decade. I also think that her horrifying life with Jay turned Pattie, his 1st wife, to become a successful Licensed Clinical Social Worker..because her trauma from him was THAT strong, & she wanted to help others overcome similar abuse. She only lived w/him about a year. Multiply her time w/him times 8.5, & you will know that MY trauma, after him, was even deeper. Yes, I think Jay SURREPTITIOUSLY/UNDERHANDEDLY invites you, during “foreplay” to EXPAND your imagination, b/c HE SURREPTITIOUSLY wants YOU to experience GENDER CONFUSION [as if he is trying to turn YOU into a lesbian, the way his GAY MALE COUSIN tried to turn him queer..or at least that is what I gathered from what he told me happened with his cousin, Paul! Why else would he have sent me that last EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL email?!] I have spent great effort, with details, recounting the details of his SICK relationship with me. I hope you heed my warnings. Yes, for a brief time, as a child, I MAY have been a “tom boy” b/c I had more male influence in life, surrounded by more males than females [having 3 brothers, the only girl], but I am certainly NOT A LESBIAN, nor ever entertained the idea, & my mother was a GORGEOUS, FEMININE, AFFECTIONATE SPIT FIRE of a FEMALE, a musically talented, Peabody student [piano/opera major] .. had beaus lined up at her feet [including her fiancé, violinist & son of a theater chain owner on the east coast, w/whom she broke off a marriage engagement, before marrying my father, so she was no lesbian, either!], who had THREE STRONG SONS BORNE OF HER WOMB [who all have SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES], unlike Jay, who it seems now, was only capable of producing ONE FEMALE from his loins, who seemingly later became “confused” from her upbringing..convinced that if her father was “bi” it was “normal”, when her father had FIVE SISTERS [seems like his father was only capable of producing mostly females out of his loins!]

10/2/2011 5:00:25 PM - It seems ironic now, how Jay and I each came from, on our fathers sides, handsome “farm stock” from the Midwest, my father from North Dakota, his father from, I guess, Illinois. The mother of my father was a beautiful blonde, blue eyed, as the actress Julie Cristie. I have photos of her. Her family owned a hotel & grocery store, before the Great Depression. Their ancestors, White Russians [German stock] were booted out of Russia by the Bolsheviks, so they had a difficult, beginning life in the U.S., in Mandan & Timmer, ND. My father, his family became poor after the Great depression, suffered much difficulty. His father had other farmers giving him their cattle when they could not pay their debts to the hotel & family grocery. My father & his family, when floods came, stood on their roves, watching bloated, dead cattle float by. My father & his many brothers dug out ground, near the river, for their ice houses, mended fences, raised cattle [like true cowboys..whereas, Jay Brown only wore cowboy hats, for his “costume” on stage, like drug store cowboys do!] My female relatives, on the sides of my mother AND on the sides of my father, were all STRONG. My father, by his OWN ACHIEVEMENTS, raised himself out of poverty by HIS OWN BOOTSTRAPS, to become a diplomat. That, to me, is a MAN, not a BOY [unlike I think Jay still is]! But my “commonalities” .. or “things in common” w/Jay, were not enough to sustain the interest of Jay Brown. Jay moved on to woo, when living w/me, a MARRIED WOMAN, raised as a Jewess [or at least, that was what I gathered from her. She also told me that she had “issues” w/her own mother, so I think Jay counted on those vulnerabilities, to seduce her & cuckold her then husband, Ed Rejuney.] It took me many years, after Jay & I were over, to recover my sense of history, pride in my family origins, in my achievements across life, my profession, my education, pride in my NATURAL HONESTY and NATURAL SENSUALITY. I think he tried to destroy all that. Men are either RESTORERS or DESTROYERS. I think they cannot be both. I think Jay is a DESTROYER. I hate Jay b/c I think he took the last fertile years from me, just as I think he took from his 1st wife, Pattie. Had he opened himself honestly to me, I probably would have produced MALE CHILDREN for him [2 out of 3 of my brothers, produced handsome sons, not daughters my oldest brother decided to adopt a son & a daughter, from his life partner, rather than reproduce, but had he chosen to reproduce, he probably would have had sons, too. Unlike Jay, he never divorced his wife, w/whom he became a BLENDED family, b/c my brother has MORAL COURAGE & boundaries that I think Jay was incapable of having!], but then..he probably would have been JEALOUS of them, just as I think he was JEALOUS of women & their accomplishments, professional & personal. I think that when Jay looked into my eyes, whether when making love w/me or not, he saw that I was at least his equal, if not his better, & that was why he said to me, “your lovemaking was too strong” [projecting, I think, a DEFICIT onto me, what someone did to him when he was a minor..possibly his sister or his gay male cousin..to whom he SHOULD have said, instead, “you have no right to overpower me sexually”..but did not do so, so, I think he “transferred” his early sexual abuse, onto his later adult partners. That is my “take” on things. If anyone reminded me of “Billy Joe McAlister” who, in the song, Ode to Billy Joe, “jumped off of Talahachee Bridge” .., that would be Jay Brown. This MALE [not a man, I allege], JAY BROWN, survives [I allege] by building his EGO from ensuring the psychological demise/failures of WOMEN, & by eroding their confidence in themselves. Most of his adult sexual life has been ONE BIG LIE after another. Think he will change for YOU? THINK AGAIN! At least I got to hang up on him last he called, w/out saying a word, & blocked his #. You should, too.

10/3/2011 11:38:55 AM - More of my opinion based on my experience with Jay .. I believe Jay is a sexual predator & probably a sociopath. He has strung along many women .. has done it for decades. He seems to take joy in developing serial/deep false relationships with women that he does not intend to keep. He puts on a façade of normalcy but he is one unstable sick freak. Whatever is left of his good looks only makes it harder to believe that this, I allege, sick individual could be hiding so much. Monitor him closely. What you think you see is not the reality. Investigate. Make sure he REALLY goes to work when he says he is. He is an habitual line crosser. If Melinda Yalom was stupid enough to marry him, I think she is either into open marriage or “agreed” to a polyamorous relationship, or “agreed” to be his “beard” without even knowing it! For years, things will seem wonderful, then, suddenly out of nowhere he is with another female who he benefits from financially or socially” ..he has MUCH baggage, is NOT emotionally healthy. After he drowns you financially, he will screw you over like you were a used condom, runs from his problems, will not bring closure, is notorious for trying to play two females against each other so that both run to him, not to each other to discover the full truth or what a parasite he is. In the beginning, with me, with his songs about Jesus, he came off as a “questionable” [read: potentially closet] albeit nonproseletizing/quiet Jesus Freak, but if he ever was a “Christian” it was in a bad sort of way, as he does not follow the moral laws of God at all, instead he uses the lure of religious/spiritual ideas [especially with songs] to try to woo women, in a sick sick way. Believe me, I had a better 9 year, longterm relationship with an ATHIEST, before Jay, than I did with Jay [too bad that one turned out to be an alcoholic, too..possibly that was why I made the MISTAKE of loving Jay Brown, because I thought HE was different, because Jay was a “recovered” alchie. WRONG!] Part of his “allure” is to present himself as a “changed” man. DO NOT BELIEVE IT FOR ONE SECOND! He did not change for me, he did not change for Lorrie, he did not change for Pattie, and he WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU! In the end, Jay will have you 2nd guessing yourself [think: GASLIGHTING] in many ways because he is INSECURE W/HIMSELF. Knowing Jay was the worst experience of my life. He has a sick, filthy mind but covers it up with an innocent looking smile, but is a pathological liar. At least half of everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie and once you catch him in a lie, he will deflect, deny and continue lying no matter whose lives he affects. Be very cautious with this male and his HILLS HAVE EYES family. I would be vigilant, if I were you, make sure he has not hidden cameras or tape recorders in your bedroom. He is a deceitful liar and will destroy your selfesteem and your life. Jay has walked out on, cheated on and lived with several women. He rutted around to join an internet swinger site, meanwhile claiming to love me, over and over again. I kept a printed out list of his web search history..many gay male porn sites and man seeking males for sex sites, among them. I keep that list as more proof. In broad daylight he would do this. Sometimes he would not even bother to minimize the screen when I walked past him, in the den, where he did it. One time, though, he berated me for watching him while he searched..as if he was ENTITLED TO CHEAT! He will use you until he susses that you are too smart for that, then will move on to the next vulnerable female. You are in for a world of hurt if you fall for his B.S. Jay is one sick, twisted guy. When confronted with his lies he made himself out to be a victim, not the perpetrator. Only a very twisted liar does that. I would not recommend him as a neighbor, or around your nieces, younger sisters, your daughters, your granddaughters..or not even around any young boys. He is the kind who, whether you are dating, married to him or live together, he will look for the “next best thing” .. meanwhile lie to you the whole time. As I wrote before, it took reading many profiles posted by other women, about their own cheaters, to help me find my voice to expose him to the fullest. I was THAT much in shock.

10/4/2011 11:33:05 AM - In my opinion, an additional part his M.O.”, Jay will try to get in good w/the families & friends of his [I allege] victims, w/the motive to manipulate/use the women & their circle of friends/families for whatever he can get. He came across as somewhat awkward and completely disarming in the beginning, was nice to my friends/family. I suspected him of nothing then. In the end, I concluded that Jay does not respect women nor ever honor his commitments to any of his supposed monogamous lovers, turned out to be an exceptional liar. I did not know him when he drank, so I do not know how he behaved then, but I will bet that if you ask his 2nd ex wife, Lorrie, what she put up with, she might share w/you if or not she knows if his personality changed when he drank, or if she ever had to file any DVOs or PFAs on him, or how many DUIs he might have acquired, if any, when he lived w/her. Jay is CONVINCINGLY GOOD at FEIGNING love, FEIGNING emotions, or FEIGNING that he is a “caring” person, but I believe whatever emotions he displays are very HOLLOW, SHALLOW, CALLOW, ABSENT .. ALL of those things. His 1st ex wife, Pattie, told me that he came to visit her brother in hospital when her brother was dying. I responded to Pattie, “Yes. I completely understand how he could have duped you, too. He fed the birds in our backyard, filled their bird bath, had me fooled, too.” Now, I think he probably got the sucker~her~with~I~am~the~nice~guy~who~feeds~birds persona from my elderly father, a TRUE MAN who BUILT birdhouses for his hobby! Do not let him have you believe that HE bought that little book about birds, if he still has it. I BOUGHT IT FOR HIM WAY BEFORE MELINDA YALOM SUGGESTED WHERE WE “SHOULD” GO ON OUR VACATION: ASSATEAGUE ISLAND. So, before her “suggestion” .., he probably pretended, to HER TOO, that he was an “avid bird watcher”. Jay, to me is WORSE than merely “crafty” or “oily”..seriously, I believe he is a true sociopath. Once he breaks you or you can no longer pay 1/2 of the house bills he moves on to the next victim, leaves you wondering what you did to deserve to waste years of your life w/him. Any male that preys on women for financial support is a WANKER/LOSER. I more than suspect I did not have enough money for him, so he moved on. Like most abusive males, he presents at first as very loving/sweet but will slowly start abusive behaviors, then escalate them. The 1st signs of abuse may be what he did to me: cut you down or something about you or your home decoration or your choices in music, snide/sarcastic remarks, in front of mutual friends. This characteristic is sociopathic when it is finally unveiled to be more than just his mere “complacency” toward you or boredom w/life. I read it somewhere [possib. DDHG], “Sociopaths learn to mimic the emotions of others to appear normal. It is only when you are willing to look close that you can see that something might be wrong b/c they do not fake the emotions right or cannot keep up the act”.. I believe it after knowing Jay. He is, to me, just like any other SOCIAL PARASITE. In public, he has one persona..the Boy Next Door. Everyone will like him, your friends/relatives. Behind closed doors, he is another..a sick deceitful monster. If they only knew his sordid past w/women, they would spit on him, castrate him, certainly, keep him away from their children, wives & female friends! Only a SICK BOY, not a MAN, would have no respect for the marriages/relationship of others, to pass himself off as a family man while his values are low/absent, dishonest, & has not the strength of character to come clean when confronted. Only a “thing” does what he did, when he was give 3 chances to care for his “families” but chose, instead, to break the relationships of others!

10/5/2011 8:01:12 AM - Jay likes you to do most of the talking so he can use what he learns from you to get other women. He is not really interested on a deep, committed level, not even if he marries you [hence, two failed marriages before I lived with him.] He just wants to know what women like, and uses that to get other women. In my strong opinion, Jay is a Malignant Narcissist [Classic, Cerebral, Somatic and Compensatory], as well as a parasitic common sociopath, con man, criminal [at least, an ADMITTED thief!], and manipulator, who uses women until they are no longer a challenge or run out of money, and then throws them away. I suspect he also has Borderline Personality, or the subcategory of it, Disassociative Identity Disorder. He might even have schizoaffective disorder, on top of everything else, from all those years of active alcoholism before his years with me [wet, not dry.] After he has been busted he might come PARTIALLY clean to only tell you a FRACTION of truth [“Lorrie said I do this with all women” .. “I had sex with my men years ago but that is all I will tell you”] but ONLY after he has found someone new who is unaware of his past that he screws on a regular basis. Good luck to the clueless idiot that will be financially supporting him for the rest of his life while he continues to cheat, the worsen things by GASLIGHTING her! Her emotional sanity and natural sensual/sexual/professional confidence might be at stake, if so. He will eventually deflect HIS defects onto you..I promise..he WILL..eventually. Had I been in my 20s or 30s when he first pulled his crap, I would have flipped him off in a second. I did once, when I was 18, I passed him by. I should have kept on that track, not given him a 2nd chance more than 30 years later. I was too vulnerable after a divorce, having turned 40, dont YOU be! That is what he sought..weakness/vulnerability..to PREY on the softheartedness of women, in their weak moments..MANY of them, one after the other, serially! Pattie, his 1st wife, told me that when living with her he had not stopped doing/selling drugs, so I guess his time at Edgemeade [see http://maryland.educationbug.org/private-schools/4285-edgemeade-center-school.html] did not “reform” him, back then, though he never did alcohol or drugs around me, that I know of. I do not believe that a THIRD "marriage badge" will "save" him, to change his ways. Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. Once you have finally figured out what a pathetic liar he is, and about his closet bisexual proclivity/activity [whether that might be past, present or future], and you ask him to go get an AIDS/HIV test, and he refuses to do so [showing further disrespect of you], which gives you no peace of mind, then you will KNOW of what I speak! To me, Jay is no different than DDHG~profiled Rob Stinson, an alleged pathological liar, cheater, porn addict, alleged to be financially irresponsible, twice divorced, filed bankruptcy, ruined his credit, and alleged to need a woman carry him financially because he cannot make it on his own .. left his 2nd ex wife in $20K in credit card debt he left her with in her name. It was written, about Stinson that he will “will take all he can from you then move on to the next victim [ ] do whatever it takes to stay with the woman taking care of him [ ] promise her what she wants to hear, even go to therapy with her, but make no mistake he is not someone who can be saved. He feels nothing. He throws around “I love you” like normal people say “Hi how are you”!” His 2nd ex wife wrote that about Stinson. WHY DID LORRIE, 2ND WIFE TO JAY, NOT EXPOSE JAY, LIKEWISE? I resent her for not doing so before I got too involved. Two other cheaters who seem most like Jay are Jeffrey Kihl & Charles H. Kim. Read those profiles up here & you will know what I mean. I believe that Jay has serially targeted single mothers & other women in dire straits, vulnerable, most of whom had been hurt in prior relationships, or who were on the verge of divorce, or just came out of one, or on the verge of a relationship break, and that he has done so for a major portion of his adult life. Another part of his “M.O.” is to offer to help women ease their burden by fixing things around the house, helping kids, etc. You should be vigilant, as your $ & independence, if not your sanity, will probably soon be gone or sadly compromised, & so will your judgment/ability to make SOUND decisions, as you will be neck deep in his dung pit of lies & mental games! I may have been “heavy” w/my comparisons, but I EMPHASIZE w/parallel comparisons b/c whoever encounters Jay NEEDS TO PAY ATTN!

10/5/2011 12:39:59 PM - I now think of Jay as a “player” [although, not a very smart one, when I busted him] and a serial cheat. I am an intelligent, successful and mentally well adjusted woman, but even I fell for his B.S.. He is not beyond trash talking about his exes and how they did him wrong just to win over sympathy/affection from a female. He lied about what he did, where he went. He might even lie about where he lives. Was very needy, a master manipulator and would say anything to get into bed with a woman, including that he loves her and will marry her. I can almost guarantee he will talk trash about any number of people in his life, even several of his friends [of years!] were not exempt from his badmouthing, dimishing, minimizing of them in some way, however slight it may have seemed to me at the time, but I already explained who they were, in previous profiles about him, up here. To me, Jay is nothing but a sick backwards pathological liar who lives a life full of lies. He did this to other females, where he played this game of love with them, used them, then vanished. He can play these games for years and seems not get exhaust himself of his own web of lies. He also never wore condoms during our entire 8.5 year relationship. Who knows what he has down there, by now. He was also broke or close to it when he left me..still owed his sister, Paula, much of the $17K he owed her, I believe. He has been emotionally abusive to AT LEAST THREE WOMEN. I am only one of those three. I believe that he wants complete control over what the woman does, so hides important stuff about his own life to make himself look better. I still believe he is a highly unstable little boy, incredibly insecure, and believe he would hit a woman if he got angry enough he almost hit me with his fist once. Seriously, I doubt he can distinguish truth from fantasy! Actually, you need to avoid ANY male who tells you or hints that his OWN FATHER might be a PEDOPHILE. He did not tell me, until a few weeks before he called it over with us, that he had spoken with his niece, Holly/Holley Holstrom, who, he said, told him that his father came into her bedroom when she was a minor and molested her, or tried to. But, several times, throughout our relationship, he would tell me that he had asked a number of his sisters if his father had ever done anything untoward to them, and I thought that to be odd at the time. Had he told me what he did about Holly and his father at the BEGINNING of our relationship, I would have stayed clear of him. Very possibly, had I told Lorrie, midway through my relationship with him, that he was viewing/renting/buying/stashing porn films in our home, possibly she could have had full custody of James and Jolene, WITHOUT him having any visitation rights. I am guilty for keeping silent about that, downtrodden as I was, and for that I apologize to her, but for nothing else. Still, she did me no favors when she did not warn me about him, so I think we are even, she and I. At one point, after he left our home, in one phone call from him, I actually thought he WANTED me to commit suicide. He asked me if I was going to “hurt” myself. I told him, no, no one is worth taking a life. I could hear him crying his alligator tears in that call. He can turn on the water works in a second..should have been an actor, not a singer.

10/5/2011 4:33:46 PM - Because I am a natural empath, who, before turning 45, much of my 35+ years professional work involved human services, jobs requiring empathic/nurturing personalities, for example, in child support enforcement I was even a nurses aide for about 1.5 years, in my first work [who knows, perhaps Jay sensed, because his mother was a nurse, that I, too, would be a sucker for him], I believe that my kind personality drew sick people to me, as if they KNEW I was kind, and sought my help. I believe that the 1st wife of Jay, Pattie, was the same way, otherwise she would not have become a successful License Clinical Social Worker, after her life with Jay. Perhaps she became such BECAUSE of her experience with him. I also know, that while I sense that her marital experience with him traumatized her, her experience w/him was for only about a year, more or less. Multiply that time by 8, then you might KNOW how long he traumatized me! I have been “tripped up” twice in my life, by others than Jay, once while with Jay, once after Jay, by two different FEMALES who were legally diagnosed as schizophrenics, but I DID NOT KNOW THIS until each admitted this to me, way after I met each. The first was a redhead, friendly/charming as could be..in fact, CHARMING MORE THAN MOST, you could not meet anyone friendlier, it seemed to me at the time. It was only after her first and last visit to my home, that I discovered that she was not as “musically talented” as she claimed to be. She never harmed me, but then, I never acquainted her longer than about two or three weeks. Same with the 2nd woman, only she popped into my life years after I had a new partner. She, on the other hand, stabbed me in the back, much later. I will not go into the details about it here. She, too, for a couple of years, seemed amicable aplenty, with numerous friends. My partner and I were invited to various parties of hers. She, too, thought she was “musically talented”..only, the CD she gave me of her music, self made..well, on at least two cuts on it, she seemed to ramble on, as if in another world. She, too, divulged to me, much too late, that she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It was only then that I remembered, that she had been fired from THREE different jobs, within 2 years, and at age 30+ lived with her middle aged, artist mother [probably rent~free.] How could I have known to avoid her? I did not know. How could I? I was not a trained psychologist or psychologist. My advice to all is this..when you meet a man who seems “unusually” attentive/attractive/charismatic, but who throws out those RED FLAGS from the git go, ASK HIS FAMILY MEMBERS about his mental health record. If you do not do this, you may end up the way I did with Jay. I still compare Jay to the character, Lilith, in the film by the same name! The character Lilith was artistically talented, draw/etched well, played the flute/recorder. At one point in the film plot, Lilith convinces her lover, the occupational therapist portrayed by Warren Beatty, to give back, to the carver, her admirer, a box, laboriously carved. Her unrequited admirer was another schizophrenic who later killed himself. The lover of Lilith, who Beatty portrayed, did not find out that Lilith had sex w/women AND men, until after he had become involved w/her. At the end of the film, after the box carver commits suicide, when his gift to Lilith is returned, we see the occupational therapist seeking the help of the hospital staff: “I need help”.. he said. I still pray to my Higher Power that no more emotionally/mentally disordered individuals ever cross my life path again! I would also compare Jay to profile on Kenneth Heil, as I think Jay is AS DANGEROUS as Heil: womansavers.com/p_guyDetails.asp?id=87662

10/5/2011 6:20:43 PM - His marriage to Pattie, 1st wife, left her BARREN. She told me how, after the abortion [conceived w/him], she felt humiliated when her Catholic father told her that any Catholic daughter who had an abortion should not be believed! No, she did not use that word, but said that when married to Jay and had become pregnant, he would not even help her with names for the baby. She told me he did not come home one night..was out with two gay “motorcyle guys”, said that TWO of her gay male friends told her they had had sex with Jay. Because of, I guess, the APATHY of Jay Brown, and his lack of concern for having conceived a child with Pattie, she aborted the child. She said the abortion caused an infection so that she could no longer have biological children. Pattie told me that she later adopted a child w/the TRUE/HONEST husband she would later meet, after Jay. She told me that, when living/married w/Jay, Jay had had sex w/the wife of their neighbor [my guess is that this wife of the “neighbor” was either another, married woman, or Lorrie Walters, who Jay told me lived on Cottage Lane at one time], or else Jay was rutting after SEVERAL women, while married to Pattie. Pattie also told me that one time [I guess when her younger sister was spending the night], her sister woke up to find Jay “stroking” her [I guessed that Pattie meant stroking the private parts, i.e., genitals or breasts] .. if that really happened, & if her baby sister, was, at that time, a minor, then, YES, that means that Jay was a PEDOPHILE..or, at least that is what I gathered from what Pattie told me [Pattie did not go into those details, to say exactly where Jay supposedly touched her little sister.] I, too, WAS LEFT BARREN, after my many years w/Jay Brown. For at least the first 4 or 5 years with Jay, I was STILL within/under my biological time clock for conceiving children. See a pattern here? Does it seem to you like some SICK INDIVIDUAL was PLAYING GOD w/the lives of several women? I would think, years later, “why did he not want me as a wife or stepmother in a blended family” [in case I had trouble conceiving children], or “WHY did Jay not want to give me the greatest gift in life..a child of my own?” [the biological sons of my brothers & their wives are HANDSOME & SUCCESSFUL, my family genes not “defective” in any way], or “WHY could not he SEE the compromises I made for him?” .. if I “gave way” to “submissively” .. if no other options with him were available to me, except being a stepmother to Jolene, when I, for years, GAVE HER MY FULL ATTENTION, FOR YEARS, AS A MENTOR, and loved her to the best of my ability? NOW I THINK THE ANSWERS ARE CLEAR: HE HAS A CONFUSED SEXUAL IDENTITY and IS A GIGOLO..so could not be a “STAND UP” guy [my guess is that he would RATHER BE A PIMP, and PIMPS ARE NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN GIGOLOS!] To Michael Borash, known for his “Imago Therapy”.. the therapist who Jay told me he was seeing when Jay began his relationship with me [who practiced in Reston, VA, I think, when I knew Jay]..I hope you collect my story and the FACTS about Jay, to determine exactly WHAT IS/WAS his problem. NOT ONE MORE WOMAN should endure the TRAUMA/DRAMA that, I believe now, THREE women, who have had long term relationships with Jay, endured.

10/5/2011 6:42:41 PM - His marriage to Pattie, 1st wife, left her BARREN. She told me how, after the abortion [conceived w/him], she felt humiliated when her Catholic father told her that any Catholic daughter who had an abortion should not be believed! No, she did not use that word, but said that when married to Jay and had become pregnant, he would not even help her with names for the baby. She told me he did not come home one night..was out with two gay “motorcyle guys”, said that TWO of her gay male friends told her they had had sex with Jay. Because of, I guess, the APATHY of Jay Brown, and his lack of concern for having conceived a child with Pattie, she aborted the child. She said the abortion caused an infection so that she could no longer have biological children. Pattie told me that she later adopted a child w/the TRUE/HONEST husband she would later meet, after Jay. She told me that, when living/married w/Jay, Jay had had sex w/the wife of their neighbor [my guess is that this wife of the “neighbor” was either another, married woman, or Lorrie Walters, who Jay told me lived on Cottage Lane at one time], or else Jay was rutting after SEVERAL women, while married to Pattie. Pattie also told me that one time [I guess when her younger sister was spending the night], her sister woke up to find Jay “stroking” her [I guessed that Pattie meant stroking the private parts, i.e., genitals or breasts] .. if that really happened, & if her baby sister, was, at that time, a minor, then, YES, that means that Jay was a PEDOPHILE..or, at least that is what I gathered from what Pattie told me [Pattie did not go into those details, to say exactly where Jay supposedly touched her little sister.] I, too, WAS LEFT BARREN, after my many years w/Jay Brown. For at least the first 4 or 5 years with Jay, I was STILL within/under my biological time clock for conceiving children. See a pattern here? Does it seem to you like some SICK INDIVIDUAL was PLAYING GOD w/the lives of several women? I would think, years later, “why did he not want me as a wife or stepmother in a blended family” [in case I had trouble conceiving children], or “WHY did Jay not want to give me the greatest gift in life..a child of my own?” [the biological sons of my brothers & their wives are HANDSOME & SUCCESSFUL, my family genes not “defective” in any way], or “WHY could not he SEE the compromises I made for him?” .. if I “gave way” to “submissively” .. if no other options with him were available to me, except being a stepmother to Jolene, when I, for years, GAVE HER MY FULL ATTENTION, FOR YEARS, AS A MENTOR, and loved her to the best of my ability? NOW I THINK THE ANSWERS ARE CLEAR: HE HAS A CONFUSED SEXUAL IDENTITY and IS A GIGOLO..so could not be a “STAND UP” guy [my guess is that he would RATHER BE A PIMP, and PIMPS ARE NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN GIGOLOS!] To Michael Borash, known for his “Imago Therapy”.. the therapist who Jay told me he was seeing when Jay began his relationship with me [who practiced in Reston, VA, I think, when I knew Jay]..I hope you collect my story and the FACTS about Jay, to determine exactly WHAT IS/WAS his problem. NOT ONE MORE WOMAN should endure the TRAUMA/DRAMA that, I believe now, THREE women, who have had long term relationships with Jay, endured. To Michael Borash..perhaps your therapeutic methods rely too heavily on Cognitive Behavioral or CoDependency theories, rather than on CULTURAL RELATIONAL THEORIES, because, to me, Jay parroted the JARGON of co dependency therapy, when living with me, to, I think FOIST/DEFLECT his personality deficits onto others in his life. Jay must have learned those terms [“enmeshed” , “overreacting”] from somewhere..either from YOU or from AA. Michael..I suggest you read “Rethinking Mental Health & Disorder” by Mary Ballou and Laura S. Brown, to discover alternatives to therapy. I may only have a B.A. in Conflict Resolution, but I KNOW how to PUNCTUATE and ANALYZE interpersonal dyadic interactions, from my formal education..an education that JAY BROWN did not have while living with me! To me, any therapist I have met & spoken to, since Jay mentioned your name, is Heads & Shoulders above you in knowledge, & in helping others overcome their interpersonal problems. I know, also, that sociopaths like to learn/mimic psychobabble language, to use it to their advantage..that much I have read/researched. I think that is what Jay Brown did w/me. Wish you could have prevented him from hurting yet ONE MORE HONEST FEMALE, after he, apparently/allegedly, was your client/patient!

10/5/2011 7:11:56 PM - Continued..to Michael Borash .. I also know that many manipulative, misogynist therapists still practice on my planet, not unlike the therapist who treated Sylvia Plath. That therapist supposedly was “in cahoots” with Ted Hughes, husband of Plath, before Hughes seduced his next woman, who would commit suicide in the EXACT way Plath did. From what I read, Hughes convinced the her therapist to either increase her antidepressant dosage, or to withdraw it from her immediately, not slowly, without considering the afteraffects to Plath, her worsened depression over his infidelities led to her suicide. I also read that Hughes was a bisexual who it seems, hitched his wagon to the laurels of Sylvia Plath [to her literary success, to gain success of his own, like a parasite!] Know, Borash, I am not a strident “feminist”, in fact, I know what the BACKLASH to the feminist movement is all about, though I am NOT on the side of the blind BIBLE THUMPERS. I may have SOME things in common with them, like adherance/belief in HONEST family values, but as for fundamentalist beliefs that cause the “we/them” extremist mindset..I AM NOT THERE..do not believe in any shame based religion..like the Christian religion I think Jay “faked” when I was with him, with his, albeit few, songs about Jesus, his Christmas carols, sung in a deep/dulcet voice to seduce women, or the Ry Cooder cover he sung/played, “The Tattler”..about how a man “oughta make a good husband and quit tryin to lead a fast life”.. I know ALL about Jay and his seduction methods. They work better on a female, like Melinda Yalom, who did not know as many folk/country/blues songs as he knew, like I did, like I knew, on guitar and vocals, since age 16! Michael Borash, I think you had the MALE equivalent of a mixed up Janis Joplin [who also sexed men and women!] on your hands, and did not know it! Perhaps the tome used to define psychological ailments ought to come up with a new disorder..the Janis Joplin Disorder .. like hers. She had major “image” and “sexual orientation” issues .. would self medicate to bury them. So was Jay a substance/alcohol user, for years before his “sobriety” through AA. Jay also had a hankering to sex men and women, and probably still lies about that. But I still have the proof and anyone who hides that proclivity & lures women into serial long term relationships, to me, is a psychological rapist. I did not just rush into the relationship w/Jay, either. I waited between 2 & 3 months before our 1st sex, him courting me, slowly w/song, for hours we would play guitars & sing to each other, one night each week, in the Stone Art Shop in Manassas. I would sleep on his mother’s couch in her condo..refrained from holding hands with him in front of Jolene..took things slowly. When he waffled after a few months, I kicked him out of my apartment, told him I wanted no man who did not know his mind. He came back w/flowers in a basket w/wine glasses, champagne I think, a large valentine made by his sweet 10 yr old daughter, & one from him, “hope this valentine is good enough for you, Love Jay” .. to get me back. He said he had decided, yes, he wanted me exclusively. The creep even used his DAUGHTER as chump bait to get to my heart. I gave him an HONEST chance to exit before he convinced me to move into a rental house with him [a lease he would break 8.5 years later.] He should have taken that EXIT, not torqued w/my life. Next, he is torqued w/Melinda’s life..torqued her right out of her 2nd marriage. Ed Rejuney was Melinda’s 2nd husband, I believe. She had confided to me that her previous husband before Ed was a cheater. Well, to me, Jay is NO DIFFERENT than her 1st husband..A BIG CHEAT. Jay cuckolded [his friend?] Ed. Her problem now, not mine.Melinda should know, though, that if Jay continued w/his gay male/female porn renting/buying/viewing behind the scenes, w/out her knowledge, that activity could lead back to HER address, as he must show his drivers license to rent/buy that porn, & it might COMPROMISE her career path, the way I think it MIGHT have done mine. I had a high govt clearance, at the time. Jay will, as he did to 3 others before Melinda, lull you into a false sense of security [a sociopathic trait, BTW!] This dolt/moron should not be trusted under any circumstances. Definitely not datable, b/f material or marriage material, IMOP. Pattie, his 1st wife, described Jay to me as "like Hannibal Lecter"

10/6/2011 11:53:44 AM - More of my opinion, based on my experience w/Jay: Again, I never asked him if he was in his mother’s WILL or if he stood to gain any inheritance from her [I am not mercenary that way.] He volunteered, freely, that he would not be getting any inheritance from her because she had given him so much [money, I assume, and other stuff] across the years, and that she told him as much. I think, because of that, he wanted to glom onto a woman with an inheritance, life insurance plan, retirement plan, or all 3, to later “assume” as his own, hence, Melinda Yalom. I had a modest IRA when living w/him. When he left me, I had to forgo/forfeit that..cash it out, to survive on it. Good thing he did not stay w/me, otherwise, he might have gone through the inheritance my father left me [decent], 10 yrs later. You see, I think Melinda inherited 10 years or more before I did, & he JUST COULD NOT WAIT. My opinion..HE IS NOTHING MORE THAN A GIGOLO, MALE WHORE & PIMP! My guess is that he felt I deserved far less than 4 of his 5 sisters, who each married a GOOD PROVIDER as her husband [if they were not wealthy..seemed like some of them were, or at least those husbands had well~paying careers, & most of the seemed like "traditional" husbands.] What a sick creep Jay was. I will bet he STILL is. My opinion: Jay only cares about getting his dong wet, even if it means destroying friendships & lying the whole damn time. Being narcissistic, he accepts women falling for him as a natural fact & never felt guilty to leave them after long term relationships. He is only telling you 1/2 the truth or none at all, preys on those who he can get something out of, is a 2~faced pathological liar who seems very sweet & caring but is really a sick pathological liar, a BOY all women should avoid because he WILL ruin your life, will make you feel like you are the center of the universe while undercutting you when it really matters. Ask to see his credit card statements. Contact his sisters & ask them about his relationship history. Though you might think he is spontaneous/fun, he has some gay/suspect ways, is a BIG FAKE. He is persistent, is not [or was not when I knew him] college educated.., not even “cultured” since not well traveled. I asked him to take me dancing once. He took me to this awful place that, if I recall correctly, seemed to be in N.E. D.C. [the WORST part, to me!] looked like it hosted raves. When we got inside, I noticed gays, women & men, dancing w/each other. I think he expected me to dance w/a female. I did not do so. I might have danced w/him one dance there, then told him I wanted to leave. It was canned, loud music, anyway, not live, & also seemed like “rave” music. He knew it was not my “style” but it seemed like he was trying to shove his sick “style” [read: GAY LIFESTYLE] down my throat.., that, or he was just getting more BOLD at hinting about his bisexual proclivities. I know not why he suddenly thought he could start abusing me, a COLLEGE EDUCATED woman. When he starts abusing you, he probably will not give YOU any explanations as to why, either. When he dumps you, he will react to your confronting him, as if you are/were unreasonable for having feelings for him. If he engages in the swinging lifestyle, that is HIGH RISK SEX/BEHAVIOR. We never had protected sex, NEVER, not the whole 8.5 years he lived w/me. If he can find a female stupid enough to shell out cash, he will not even need a job. He is emotionally abusive/manipulative, while being great to strangers/enablers, abuses his own family & girlfriends once they have fallen for him. He might try to claim to be a victim of each woman w/whom he has ever lived [except maybe Evelyn.] The reality is that WE are his victims! Jay is a very accomplished manipulator, will use different tactics on different females to stop them from talking to each other & finding out what a liar he was/is, will tell you he loves you while still chasing another woman, possibly more than one, or even bi men, will take you for all he can, then find someone else, is a succubus user, a very unstable sexual deviant. When the money runs out, so does he. It is not love when he is involved w/you. You have something HE wants. He might also have some form of adrenaline addiction b/c when he cheats for months behind the back of his “main squeeze” he seemed to get some sick thrill out of pulling the wool over her eyes, just because he felt he could.

10/7/2011 1:45:09 PM - As soon as my funds ran thin [me on the last “leg” of my unemployment checks, still w/out work, though seeking it constantly, daily, weekly], he ran. I even had to hawk, at the pawn shop, those hammered gold bangles he made for me [probably other guilt gifts from him, though it was MY gold melted, that went into that project], to subsist on, after he left me. It was not long after his daughter was no longer a minor [me having helped him mentor/raise her for all those years/weekends w/us, & all those years pretending we were a blended family], the IMMATURE COWARD left. I suggest you look up Melwood Clinic in MD, to see where he said he did his rehab from alcoholism. Apparently, that clinic is also known for treating DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED persons. Now I wonder if Jay is not, in some ways, also what we use to call “retarded” [not a politically correct term, anymore] .. you know.. like one of those savants..good at SOME skills, usually only one, but I have heard that some savants can excel in more than one skill, too, while unable to sustain interpersonal relationships to deep levels. I also believe that Jay is a sex addict, whether in DENIAL or not, & believe that he was at the escalation level of his addiction when he began his affair w/Melinda. Toward the end, I believe he PURPOSELY frustrated me sexually, to withhold sex, then alternatively “dole” it out, in “doses” of HIS choice and HIS timing, to PURPOSELY sadden/confuse/anger me..as in INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT [which, BTW, is also trait of Borderline Personality Disorder]. Sex addicts do that, too..they alternate between periods of sexmaniacal excess/gluttony and sexual anorexia.] To me, he is nothing more than a sadistic nihilist, hedonist, narcissistic, sick, reprobate opportunist, and IMMATURE COWARD, who is no more than a gigolo, with MERCENARY intentions [so, I think he cannot blame it on any mental disorder if he PLANNED it that way] He even lied about his age in that swingers ad he placed for bi sex..shaved off 2 or 3 years from his actual age. The “red flags” with him, at first, and for several years, are subtle, possibly too subtle to notice at first, but THEY ACCUMULATE. Look for INCONSISTENCIES in his stories. Like when one of his reasons he gave for leaving Lorrie was “the cats for God’s sake”, yet, why did he marry someone he KNEW loved pets/animals? And why did I notice him petting PJ, the black cat he said was HIS, when we delivered or picked up Jolene, to from her custody visit with him? And why the CONFLICTING stories about how he got that burn scar on his forearm [in the beginning, he said it was a scar from his jewelry torch, after he called it quits with us, he confided that it was from him playing “chicken” in his youth, with another boy, with a lit cigarette between their arms, to see who would withdraw it first?] Also, LISTEN to the stores he might tell you, as he did me, early on, about CHEATING ON HIS WIFE WITH [he said, a MARRIED woman] Janet! .. and very possibly overlapped Lorrie & Pattie, too [Pattie’s antique bed ended up in the bedroom of Jolene, his daughter, he said Pattie said she never knew he was looking for her to return it to her, as he told me he did], and what about the Cottage Lane St. sign he told me he stole, that he said ended up at Lorrie’s place? Melinda should know that had he not worn me down, I would never have given him that blacktopped blond tiki bar that my father gave to me, & I certainly would NOT have given it to him had I known about his affair with her! You will spend the rest of your life thinking about all the terrible things he did, and all the women he has slept with or possibly men/women he MIGHT sleep with, too. Those memories, for the women he hurt, off and on, depending how long it took for them to heal from his deceit, are, or can be about as painful as the day they happened. Any widow, knowing her husband ACTUALLY LOVED HER, will have better memories than any woman who has chosen Jay and gotten hurt by him. Jay seemed to have a strange relationship w/his mother. She seemed to dictate the terms of his personal relationships w/women. Last comparison .. compare Jay to Toby Lange, profiled up here. Jay, I allege, will not just play you but also your friends.

10/7/2011 5:52:03 PM - That “intermittent reinforcement” from Jay was CONSTANT in my last months w/him, & even after he moved out. That “trait” is also called the “push~pull” trait [also a trait of Borderline Personality Disordered individuals.] i.e., after moving out, he phoned me [was he bragging?] that a former male musician friend of mine, who Jay met through me or while w/me, hired him for a gig. Jay said he needed to rent a tux for the gig. I had never seen him in a tux before. He KNEW I would not be attending that gig w/him, since we had broken up. Also, in that same conversation, he offered to pay for us attending a Harville Hendrix GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT seminar. He did not follow through w/that, but he treated me, soon after, to lunch, at a local Manassas tavern, where we discussed attending that seminar together. I was all for it. He never intended to keep his word. Jay lives by his own set of rules that he thinks nothing of changing when it suits him. More importantly, he will screw w/your heart & sanity. He used me to move out of his elderly mother’s condo, during his separation from wife #2, Lorrie, very possibly to ease his child support payments. He told me, while his divorce finalization/settlement was pending, that Lorrie quit her job on purpose, so that the child support payments from him would increase. I do not know if what he said about that was true or not. He might even use the “ploy” that “it’s not you, it’s me”..he did that w/me in the end..said he would go see a therapist & start attending AA meetings again. He was saying I LOVE YOU to me, even after he moved out [EXPLAIN THAT ONE, MELINDA YALOM! & WHY did he CONTINUE to sex me, for another year, after, I allege, he had begun his affair w/YOU, telling me he loved me the whole time? Too bad you had to destroy someone else’s life w/her man & committed adultery to get him..evidence of an AMORAL person. I have NEVER in my life done that to any woman, nor will I! You must have been desperate! Do not let Jay feed you any SHIT about me not bringing in enough money to the unit when I lived w/him, as he might try to do. Not when you TOLD me that you had quit your full time job under that Moslem supervisor to go part time..possibly when you began your affair w/Jay! My opinion? HE WAS AFTER YOUR MONEY/PROPERTY, looking for a FREE place to store his diminishing Stone Art inventory ..his 1/2 of the divorce settlement, to save himself storage fees, as I believe he did w/me. I will bet, when he moved in w/you, he STILL owed his sister Paula most of that $17K that I did not find out he owed her until the very end of his relationship w/me, b/c Jay JUST COULD NOT BE HONEST ABOUT HIS PITIFUL SITUATION, so, I allege, TRIES TO CON OTHERS. I wager he wanted to jump onto your life insurance policy, too, as he had none of his own, nor a retirement plan, as far as I knew. WAKE UP!] I had to close out & forfeit my modest IRA & pawn MY [I think guilt gifts he made w/MY gold] hammered bangles, to survive, after he left. I truly hope karma returns to you20 fold! For your sake, I hope you press his sisters to tell you which psychological disorders have been ailing him for all these decades, if he has any, & if they know about them. That was something I should have done. Took me a long time to forgive myself for not asking them.] Each year, he bought me sweet cards for all occasions, he dined me, bought our groceries regularly, but I think those, too, were “guilt gifts/moves” to cover up his serious flawed/dysfunctional personality. I doubt his silversmithing work was up to par either, I have 4 pieces he created for me, ALL W/FIRESCALE ON THEM. Possibly, his lapidarist skills are not as good as he claimed, either. Although, at the time he cut/shaped a replacement black onix fan earring [Bali design] for me [ I had cherished/kept since my life out west, that got broken], & I thought it was a sweet thing he did, replacing it, I noticed later, that the replacement piece seemed about 1/3 thicker than the earring it was supposed to match, as if you folded a piece of cardboard in 2 & the earring it was supposed to match was 1/3 thinner than the replacement [imagine, if you will, that the unbroken earring that he was supposed to match was 1/3 thinner than the replacement he dopped/shaped/cut.] Plus, very possibly, replacing that earring stone for me was ANOTHER “guilt gift” from him. I never criticized him or mentioned to him that I thought the stones were mismatched in thickness, b/c I thought his was a labor of love. I never even thought of it until recently, when I was adding up all the “oddities” of things he did. I still have those earrings as proof.. Even after he moved out, his push~pull m.o. continued, he came back & said, “o.k., lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater”..as if there was a chance for us to reconcile. You will not meet Mr Hyde until years have passed. Crazymaking behavior!

10/10/2011 1:19:37 PM - Just looking out for the unsuspecting female Jay preys on next. Jay will weasle his way into the woman’s life, start by being the “handyman”, assembling furniture for her, painting, yard work, dry wall, etc., then will want her to be involved in some kinky sex acts [these will not be apparent, at first], then, it might be years later, he will hit on or manipulate her friends [possibly her relatives, too, even if only to use them, get them to hire him for something or other, possibly painting their houses, possibly as a lapidarist, fix or make some custom piece for them], meanwhile trying to find out how he can make money off her or them. I believe he sought out well off women [or women whose families had “means”] who could “pay his way”. He is, in my opinion, amoral, & will leave you feeling depressed about yourself, as, part of his act, I believe, is to find lonely women, strip away anything that makes them feel worthy, so he can worm his way into her purse/life, then whittle away her self esteem. He played in the swingers game but claimed deep commitment regularly, that he “loved” me..long after..probably the whole year after I think he began his affair w/Melinda, while living w/me. He confessed to having had, years before our relationship, a one night stand that he felt guilty about, but Jay is not the Hit It & Quit It type, at least not w/FEMALES. He is more of the “build a relationship & friendship to keep them around until I need them” type. I believe he has mommy issues, was scarred as a child, & did not get fully over it, so does not know how to have a proper adult committed relationship. I think he manifests a different personality for each person he comes into contact with & talks dirt about them behind their backs. When Jay was a kid, he probably snuck open his Xmas presents & rewrapped them when no one was looking, way before Xmas. My guess, but that is one level of the sneak I think he is. I believe he is a satyromaniac & suspect he has major daddy abandonment issues [maybe why he flipped the script on me to PROJECT that it was ME who had “abandonment issues”! Or maybe HE FELT ABANDONED BY HIS OWN MOTHER, when/if she LOOKED THE OTHER WAY, while/if his gay male cousin & his sister had incest w/him!], so believes the world owes him everything. He used/uses sex as a way of getting self esteem, so he will never be sexually loyal to anyone because he has/will always seekout new women to sleep with to make him feel better about himself. Jay is much like DDHG~profiled L. Watson of Poquoson, VA: “will become what you are lacking, and as long as you adore him and give him the attention he demands, and adore him to the point that you lose your own sense of right and wrong, he”ll stick around. [] Once you see his ugly other self, you won”t want to believe it, and you will lovingly ignore it. If you are with him now, give it up before you become emotionally dead. He is emotionally immature, dangerous, barely functional in society, and you are risking your [[healthy emotional, if not your physical]] life being with him. [] That first spark that was between you starts a hellfire, and it”s very difficult to get him out of your life, even when you discover how sick he is. You remain in love with the man you thought he was and you will continue to try to get that man back” Any guy that has had so~called “BISEXUAL” urges in his past & acted on them, is either “bisexual” or SEXUALLY GENDER CONFUSED. I know that Jay is ONE OF THOSE TWO THINGS b/c I still have copies of his profile he placed on that swingers site, stating he is “bi” , in addition to what his 1st wife, Pattie, told me about him. Jay is NOT what he appears to be. His private life, together w/his inability to come to terms w/who he is, have led him down a dark path, to extreme states of contradiction. To end the relationship he will secretly start a new one & tell that person what a horror his life at home to garner sympathy just in case he is “found out” by his current partner. Know that his intentions are far from what they seem. He will diminish who you are if you try to make excuses for his ugly accusations/behavior. If anyone else has been w/this individual, please comment!”

10/11/2011 8:51:27 AM - It is one thing to be a cheat but pathological/conspiratorial liars are mentally unstable. In my opinion, Jay has played sick, high school boy, mental games w/the emotions of women, & used dates to learn hot spots [ideas from those women] to take [his subsequent women] to, once he is done w/the women, b/c I believe he seldom had an original idea of his own. I suspect that Jay also might be schizophrenic, for more reasons than one. I learned about schizophrenia. The ex wife of a close friend of mine is schizophrenic, beautiful but she cheated on him before & after marriage [poor impulse controls.], & hid her diagnoses/symptoms until they married, 8 YRS. AFTER THEY LIVED TOGETHER. So, yes, schizophrenics can HIDE BEHIND MASKS FOR YEARS! Another male friend of mine cared for his schizophrenic brother for years before his brother died. His brother, though musically talented, was incapable of maintaining responsible/romantic/stable relationships w/women. Schizophrenics CAN/WILL pull others down into their VORTEX OF HELL, that is why I think the movie Lilith [and the film, The Dirt Digger..Jay also reminds me of the spath in that movie] was so informative, & why I compare Jay to Lilith in that film, despite not knowing which, if any, psychological disorders Jay has. Cluster B disorders can also come in multiples. I suspect Jay has several. Again, I knew 2 female schizophrenics, each charming. One of them could hold a job for few months. I witnessed her “charming sales personality” at work, able to make change w/customers, bring a few clients to the consignment/retail shop, but she was fired from that job, .. held it less than a year. Also, at a county fair, Jay seemed paranoid when stopped at the top of a Ferris wheel w/me, he expressed his unease. He presents as intelligent but I think any “intellect” he appears to have is regurgitated stuff he heard others speak [i.e., codependency jargon. He regularly asked me for the foreign word answers to the crossword puzzles he did while on the commode. Sapping ME of my intellectual enegies, ya think?] Would it not seem odd to you, if your lover SUDDENLY started listening regularly to the Dr. Laura & Rush Limbaugh radio programs, in his workshop, meanwhile having an affair w/an apparent DEMOCRAT [she hosted one party we attended, celebrating the inauguration of Bill Clinton]? I think those activities revealed CONTRADICTIONS, a sick “mind set”, too [conflicting paradigms]. Possibly, he was in process of changing his personality for his next prey. I hope that the married woman who Pattie told me Jay had an affair with pays it forward, to admit to that alleged affair she had w/Jay, while Pattie was married to him. Possibly then, Melinda will FINALLY see what a SERIAL PATHOLOGICAL/CONSPIRATORIAL LIAR Jay is. My mind, like a steel trap [google “Eidetic memory”], holds DETAILED info. He 1st PRETENDED to love me, I think, b/c that feature allowed me some success musically [it did before/during/after Jay.] Later, though, I think he became JEALOUS of me b/c of my talents/memory, & that he serially preyed on women w/money to live off their labor, like pimps do. How sadly ironic that the band he was in was named after the Robert Cray song, Night Patrol, about the dire straits of young girls, w/out life options, turned prostitutes. Jay may tell you that he has done the awful things he has done b/c he is an alcoholic. It is my opinion that he is an alcoholic b/c he has other personality disorders that determine his behavior. I believe that he has no self identity, that he adopts the likes & dislikes of those around him. Like a chameleon that gets hissy when he cannot change the color red [red is the color of true passion, not fake passion; many orientals believe the color red is a spiritual color. It is the color of the Vietnamese New Year.] Just try placing a chameleon on the color red. The chameleon, when trying to “fake passion” , instead turns a shitty color of brown then begins hissing. Jay will do to you as he did to me, disconnect you from everyone that might tell you the truth about him.

10/12/2011 3:30:25 PM - My comment is posted again, to this and other profiles about same person, because his profiler requested I do so. She is welcome!: 10/12/2011 12:53:13 PM Sounds like your typical marriage fraud scam, to me.Your profile about this asswipe parallels, in ways, the one about David Gaylor Swain, whose areas are/were in Sydney, Mosman, Australia. Shall I quote it, to make it easier? Below is part of it: “Women {and men if he has finally come out of the closet} should be very wary as he is nothing more than a con artist. He dumped his 2nd wife after she supported him through graduate school and took care of his 2 children. He dumped wife number 3 after stealing her considerable trust fund to pay off his accumulated debts from his years as a failed entrepreneur. The girlfriend between wives 2&3 dumped him because she was fed up with supporting him {although he now claims she had psychological problems}. When he dumped his third wife {and her 2 children} he didn’t even wait for her to move out before he was putting himself online looking for his next meal ticket. Nobody from his past will have anything to do with him {this includes his own family} and of course he has a multitude of reasons for this. His sexual preference is for the shemales [ ] anyone who has to steal from women and children to support himself is hardly going to be man enough for the {ahem} harder requirements. He is delighted to go down on a tranny [ ] David’s interests in other people extend no further than what he can get out of them, and once he’s gotten what he wants, he skips out and immediately starts looking for his next mark” .. you can look him up on DDHG. You might also want to read Joanie123’s blog/story on the lovefraud.com article/thread, “the sociopath takes what he wants” .. a spath pulled the “matrimonial marriage fraud” to deceive her. I’ll quote some of it.. “Time went by and he couldn’t pay the loan which went into the thousands. If he didn’t pay the loan his mother would get stuck paying it. He didn’t want his mother to have to pay it so he hatched a plan to join a dating agency, find a sap, romance her, marry her, and have her help him get out of debt. [] I didn’t know about the situation till after we were married. He asked his longterm girlfriend to help him but she couldn’t or wouldn’t as she had debts of her own. So he, his mother, the long~term girlfriend and my brother~in~law were in on the bridal scam. And this is why they kept my husband’s secret condition quiet from me. They were like the “ma Barker gang” and the only thing missing were the black & white stripped prison suits [] When my ex husband married me he told me we had to work hard to pay off his debts so we could get a good start and get on with our married life. [] the week he paid off his debts he deserted me for a rich girl in another state and after he used her he went back to his longterm girlfriend and they had a baby together. The night the mask fell we split up. He told me exactly why he married me and how much he despised me and how he hated play acting and sleeping with me just so he could get his debt paid off” .. just thought I would tag you to that story, cuz it seems this azzhole you profiled shares a similar dysfunctional/destructive lifepath to Joanie123’s ex. Only difference is, you escaped not marrying the azz. The woman, his “meal ticket” after you will see his mask slip..eventually.., probably be paying off that debt to his sister

10/12/2011 4:42:43 PM - The men in my family, starting w/my father & his sons, are all intelligent, accomplished writers. One won acclaim in a monthly publication about archeological discoveries, b/c my brother found a clovis point, his hobby being archeology, & so was his degree in that major. Another brother is a lawyer .. another field requiring excellent writing skills. Another brother served in a high~level career for the DoE he helped select which books that ALL public schools in the US would use, to educate our children. My father was a successful diplomat. Successful diplomats also require excellent writing skills].. I believe that Jay Brown was JEALOUS/ENVIOUS of the social standing of my family & mine, that he sought to JUMP UP on the backs/purses of women, for most of his life. If not, why would he have, pathetically, I think, tried to gain “encouragement” [he told me he did] from Melinda Yalom, for his writing skills [remember, Melinda..he has DYSLEXIA! ..or at least he said so.] I, too, earned my college degree, in a major that required exceptional writing skills..COMMUNICATION..same major that Oprah & Katie Couric had [actually, she graduated my same high school!], probably. I worked, most years while living w/Jay, as a tech editor [I suspect that his porn buying/renting activities might have seriously compromised my career path, too, as that path required me holding a high govt. clearance, requiring I not be “influenceable”! Nothing like ruining a woman”s life completely..might as well ruin everything while he was at it!] My mother, a Peabody student, also was a good writer, though never sought professional recognition from it, her writings were those of an intelligent EMPATH. I believe that Jay Brown ENVIED me my talents in that area, as well as my other talents, in performance arts. It seems he had to SUCK the ENERGY LEVELS from those who had HONESTLY accomplished what they did, by their own God~given talents, BECAUSE HE HAD NONE OF HIS OWN, like SYCOPHANTS do! The story he [almost bragging, I thought] he wrote, about his time w/me at a STRIP JOINT, on our last vacation together in the outer banks of NC, a story that he, apparently, submitted to The Sun, got REJECTED FOR POOR CONTENT! I saw the rejection letter! He was STUPID ENOUGH TO SHOW IT TO ME! How stupid could his NEXT woman be, to accept him into her life, after this, if she is not blind?! If this comment does not explain what a SYCOPHANT & SOCIAL CLIMBER I think Jay Brown is, I do not know what will suffice, but I AM DONE with explaining! My 3 brothers are ALL GOOD/TRUE FAMILY MEN. Jay is NOTHING in comparison to them! I wave a BIG RED FLAG about Jay because I think no one else he conned, before me, had the guts to do so, to help me out & prevent the financial/emotional/sexual/psychological abuse he perped on me [I allege]! I suggest for anyone to conduct a THOROUGH background search on him before engaging yourself in his company.., you know..the background search that requires paying $2K or thereabouts, to get the full scoop on him..the kind I SHOULD have done before living with him! You see, I made the mistake of thinking that he & I had something else in common..that he was the only male among his female siblings, while I was the only female among my multiple male siblings..thought that our paths would compliment each other, but I think my family was heaps more functional [not dysfunctional] than his own! It seems, with all I now know about him, he likes/liked to target women who have been hurt by other men, is/was addicted to seduction/attention, will/would use women for every possible thing he can including, but not limited to: sex, transportation, food/cooking, cleaning, someone to take care of his various personal affairs/errands, and $. Any guy who has past full of broken relationships is NOT emotionally healthy. IMOP, he is a weak, damaged coward of a man who has criticized others [not just women, but his friends, too] behind their/your backs/back, then his family/friends unknowingly believe whatever he has said, to treat you poorly or discontinue you from their friendship networks/circles. Basically, when he is done with you, you are ISOLATED. I truly believe, if given the chance, he would be a bigamist.

10/12/2011 5:14:00 PM - What do you think, ladies? If a woman has THREE SUCCESSFUL, MONOGAMOUS brothers, each still married to their first & ONLY wives, after >25 yrs, by which she can compare any CHEATING MALE FRAUD who seeks to perp/con her, do you think she MIGHT have a decent measurement by which she could measure the HONESTY of any beau who approaches her w/the PRETENSE of wanting monogamy? Your responses are welcome, even encouraged. Yes.., I leave myself vulnerable to your comments.., but I SEEK THE TRUTH, b/c I think, left up to Jay Brown, he would have had me gone crazy, or described me to his next victim as such. Think about it! It was not just our “opposite” family situations [him having mostly older sisters, me having all brothers, me being the only female among my siblings, he being the only male among his siblings] that made me choose Jay. Mostly, it was my SPIRITUAL profession/hobbies [music, lapidary, jewelry design], aligned with his, similarities, AND MY GOOD CREDIT at a time when HIS WAS SHOT or nearly shot [that is what PREDATORS DO!], that I think he PREYED on, to CON ME, ..as if he was merely The Boy Next Door or the “innocent Giapetto” type, with the cokebottle thick glasses [as in Pinocchio’s father..only thing is, Jay has the LONG LYING NOSE!], who, when, at age 18, I turned him down as a lover, b/c he, at that time, lived w/Evelyn Vignola [I rejected him b/c of it, when I discovered that fact] I should have kept w/my 1st instincts back then, that he was an oily jerk. Instead, I gave him a 2nd chance, >than 30 yrs later. I should not have done. His serial M.O., I believe, has been~~probably still is, is my guess~~to lull women into a false sense of security, then took/take what he wanted/wants while overlapping his next target with the former. I find this so common to men profiled up here & elsewhere, who are also said to be “down low men” .. He also had a big wide, balding “potato head” that he was insecure about..said it looked like a “flat slab” .. like his sister Dulce had. Too bad, mofo sucker, my love of >10 yrs is NOT bald, is FITTER than you in more ways than one, doesn’t have a LARD butt, but haunches that Lady Chatterlys Lover would ENVY, and you..ha ha, are stuck with the “stick lady” who I renamed “SLING SHOT BOOBS” .. IMOP, breasts that look like someone IRONED them. Guess some pathetic suckers cannot appreciate women with curvy hourglass figures, my guess is because THEY WANT SEX WITH MEN, INSTEAD! IMOP, Jay cares for no one except himself, if that, which is why it has been so easy for him to walk in and out of the lives of his past women, without a care. A classy man does not try to live off any woman he can. A guy who does that cannot live on his own, is more like a child, very dependent on someone else, in Jay’s case, it was his mother, sisters, and other women. I will wager that Jay will be in debt for life, will be unable to keep a job that pays not much more than retail/minimum wage, [if he is even able to keep that], and that is one reason why he was/is so dependent on women. My opinion is that Jay has lived his life like a teenager. I wager that when he cannot start a 2nd business of his own [with his own funds], he will expect the woman to help him, and it will be with either FINANCIAL help or FREE LABOR from her. Melinda is blind to the fact that he is USING her, too..probably began bedding her, telling her he loved her just so he could get his next failed business up sooner [Plan B, free storage space for his dwindling inventory, leftover from his Stone Art days.] He will most likely tell any new GF who he has seduced that all his exes were crazy or gold diggers, and tell her not to listen to what any other woman with whom he lived before her, has to say, probably give false reasons as to why he parted with the ones before her, anything to make his past women look like fools and him look good. And I care not what anyone else thinks, I still think that he began his affair with Melinda at or around the SAME TIME [I think] he was at an ESCALATED STAGE of SEX ADDICTION, & think they are BOTH in denial about that but will stay together to "save face", neither wanting to admit it was a SICK way they began their sexual relationship.

10/17/2011 10:05:31 AM - Basically, I think Jay left his 2nd wife and moved in w/his mother b/c he kept cheating on his wife [he even admitted to going back & forth, between wife and the home of his mother, two or three times, before he finally decided to separate from Lorrie.] I should have known NEVER to date anyone who is/was an AA member [I was not an AA member..am not an alcoholic, but he is!] I believe Jay is natural born impostor that encourages women to feel like he will take care of them, promises to marry them [he did me, at 1st, then backed out after the 1st year, after he had convinced me to live w/him, said “I will never buy a house with you” ~probably b/c he had lousy credit, mine was excellent then~BUT LOOK AT HIS HISTORY..TWO FAILED MARRIAGES BEFORE ME!], will tell them they were “meant to be” , “soul mates” or “fated for each other” .. then abandon them, down the line, sometimes after a year, or after 8.5 years, or after 13 years [heck, at this point, he might be able to dupe the next woman for as many as 20 years..some sociopaths profiled up here have done exactly that!] At first & for a long time, possibly for years, even, he acts like he actually cares for them so they will first believe him, but soon enough, if they do not ignore the red flags, they will find abundant lies. He even uses/used his own family to create trust that he was/is a “good guy” , has been at this for DECADES! I realize now that I wound up w/Jay b/c I, like the others before/after me probably did, enabled him to do whatever he wanted, to clean up and pay for all of his life messes, just as I think his sisters/mother did, just as I think Melinda does now. Jay was mentally/sexually/financially abusive/exploitive to me, & he is/was borderline physically abusive [threw a set of keys at me & lifted his fist to my face/body one time. I stopped the latter just in time.] Jay has a long history of general malfeasance, financial manipulation & dishonesty. His friendly personality is simply a decoy to the BPD manic I think [my opinion] Jay is. When Jay was a teen [not sure what age, probably around 15 or 16], he had to get sent away to Edgemeade [I suspect it is a “lockdown institute”] to rid him of his juvie ways. In my opinion, & probably the opinion of his 1st wife, Edgemeade did not teach him to better himself, it just taught him how to be even sneakier. I doubt even his family or friends know the real Jay. Only his longterm wives & women w/whom has lived [after Evelyn Vignola] come closest to knowing the REAL Jay, as it is them he ends up cheating on, lying to & deceiving the most, eventually. If I have repeated things, it was for emphasis, in case my readers missed something. IMOP, ladies, Jay is only after 3 things from you, your snatch & your $/property, & to exploit your labor! I wrote, before, that I thought that Jay is like Hughes, the husband of Sylvia Plath, who, I think, wanted to live of the literary laurels of Plath, then, while married to Plath, had an affair on her. The woman w/whom Hughes had an affair, committed suicide in the SAME way Plath did [both of them stuck their heads in a gas oven], when she discovered the fraud of Hughes. It was written that Hughes destroyed the journals of Plath, & that he was a bisexual, as well. Same thing happened with Ella Fitzgerald. It was also rumored, in literature, that Hughes was “bisexual”..had sex with men & women. WOMEN! LET HISTORY NOT REPEAT ITSELF, to allow sexually confused males to disrupt/corrupt/destroy our lives! Speak out! I repeat..after Jay ditched me, he asked, in a phone call, “are you going to hurt yourself?”..I think he WANTED me to.

10/18/2011 3:27:26 PM - IMOP, Jay narcisstically/arrogantly justifies/justified his bad behavior, I doubt that he is playing with a full deck. He betrayed me by not telling me that it was over a year before he did. He just kept it a secret, though others in one of our musical networks knew & were talking about us behind our backs [bass player, Bill Broderick, with a wife who is a caterer, Vanessa, comes to mind.] Jay displayed no remorse/guilt & will most likely continue his longstanding behaviour & parasitic lifestyle. Jay is not a man but a coward for not telling me sooner than he did that we were over. I will never forgive Jay, talk to Jay, or respect Jay. I honestly believe that if you do not own property or have money he will not be interested in you. I feel certain that had I not sold my half of my property back to my first [and only, so far] legal husband, Jay may have taken a different tact with me. I predict he will do to the next woman that he did to me, that once he is sprung [found out] and finally booted out, he will solicit some other poor sucker to whom he will tell a load of lies, then attempt to extort money/sex/labor from her, somehow. He will probably tell her that he was taken advantage of by many “selfish” women, but the reverse is true. In my opinion, he is the most selfish/egocentric guy I have ever known, & the BIGGEST MERCENARY I have ever known! While professing his undying love to me, he was busy visiting porn & adult web sites, AND having an affair w/a MARRIED woman. He is the most elaborate liar I have had the unfortunate experience of knowing, seems to lie to either get attention or to get what he wants from women, I think he believes his own lies, it is that bad. When confronted about his lies Jay shuts down & disappears. I believe Jay has no identity so will mimic yours. I think he even pretended/pretends to have the same interests/beliefs as others & would even steal the vocabulary of others, to fit in. I think Jay is very dangerous, can cause & probably will continue to cause much damage/trauma to other unsuspecting women, & possibly to men as well, since, by virtue of his ad on that swingers site, he “confessed” to being bisexual. If he tells you “I am just a passionate guy who knows what I want, fast” .., think instead: HE BELIEVES IN INSTANT GRATIFICATION FOR HIMSELF. Jay very well could have had a teen sexual past parallel to that of Young Zae [area, Dallas, TX, profiled on datingpsychos.com & womansavers.com]: “[age 15] this screwed up young man has started having sex with older men in an effort to make himself feel more like a man” “He has succeeded and now preys on young boys on the internet [ ] he is bankrupt, has no credit, lives with his parents, dropped out of high school and has no education [ ] has a huge sense of entitlement and demands that his partners are images of perfection, otherwise, he is JUSTIFIED in cheating on them [ ] has admitted to me that he is proud about driving many woman to the point of being suicidal. This man is very dangerous and can cause a lot of damage and trauma to unsuspecting men {and women, as of recently, he has confessed to being bisexual}” I sense, for you, like was done to me, that facts will be turned/twisted around at will by Jay & told to others, so you are villainized in your local area. He will tell you that his former wives or current wife are either 1. crazy, 2. did not appreciate him, 3. cheated on him, or 4. Had trust/abandonment issues when HE is the one who causes the mistrust. BASICALLY, ANY ONE OF THOSE EXCUSES IS PROJECTION OF WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS DOING..PROJECTING HIS OWN ISSUES ONTO THOSE HE HAS HURT/TRAUMATIZED! Do not believe him like the women in his past did. He does this to keep his next target, possibly you, from finding out the truth about him. He has been divorced TWICE b/c his wives found out about his nasty self & so did I. He hid many of his eccentricities for so long, is one dark, disturbed individual. Yes, some sex addicts have gotten away w/fooling one woman for almost 40 years, i.e., Richard Forbes, profiled on this site, who allegedly blames his other women for “making the first move” .. so do not think YOU are “special” just b/c you passed the 13 yrs w/Jay w/out “obvious” incident ..”obvious” being the operative word, here. He counts on things not being obvious, otherwise would not have advertised for “discrete” sex w/bisexual/bisexuals on that swingers site.

10/20/2011 8:43:46 AM - If Jay finally tires of preying on middle aged women with “net worth” .., he might next try to prey on young females/males, thinking they are more malleable/gullible. I, for one, believe what Pattie said about him inappropriately touching her younger sister, believe that her sister woke up to find Jay MOLESTING her. I have a friend from high school days who was married to a very handsome man, handsomer than Jay. My friend was prettier, in my opinion, than Melinda, but was similarly short in height, a longhaired brunette, but with beautiful blue/gray cat like eyes. Her husband, known as the “bard” [wrote beautiful poems] when courting her, VERY romantic, carved, out of ONE piece of pine, a continuous chain for her to wear around her neck..gave it to her when courting her. Though her husband never cheated on her, he had something wrong w/some of his brain neurons, I think, that had him depressed. He killed himself after they married, less than 2 years after marriage. His suicide was a shock to all those from our highschool/tightknit group of artists. Also, if Jay thinks that a woman with “more net worth” than I had..w/a home, was a “better find” than me, he should think about how his friend Jeff Lodsun, in the end, apparently was not content w/the wife who bore him children & who was a SUCCESSFUL lawyer, w/a fine, large home. Guess that was not enough for Jeff, who cheated on his wife, Beth, & I think Jeff left her due to a SIMILAR poor impulse behavior..that or a sex addiction, much like the one I think Jay had/has. I heard, straight out of the mouth of Beth, how Jeff had had phone sex w/a woman, in earshot of one of his children, in his marital home. I also heard from Beth, that this woman Jeff had phone sex with, had, at one time, pretended to be her friend. Also, again, I recall the email from Julia Lee, that told me that Jay had had a beautiful home w/Lorrie, wife #2, in Manassas, at one time. Julia, I think, said that their property was on 5 acres. That email from Julia conveyed, I think, shock at him leaving me, as she & her husband had thought, for years, that Jay loved me. I checked out that property when I lived w/Jay. It was, IMOP, MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL than the property of Melinda Yalom, that I also had the chance to visit her home, when I was a guest at her parties, when Melinda was married to Ed Rejuney. So…, if Jay thinks $/land means everything..well.., obviously to me, that did not stop Jay from cheating on Lorrie. To me, only a PIMP/GIGOLO can convince a woman to do all or most of the work to secure the household, to let him sit back like a lazy ass, enjoin her in deceit, pit woman against woman, & pretend.., convincing HER to pretend, too, that he is/was the “good guy”, & that his former women were all “flawed”…Yet, I think, the “flaws” are HIS..SICK CHARACTER FLAWS! Worse if, for a whole year, while carrying on TWO relationships, he abuses the woman w/whom he lived, continued “making love” w/her as though nothing has happened, USED HER MOUTH LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN A USED CONDOM, weekly & month after month! For all she knows, he might have had sex w/another woman only HOURS before that happened, the body fluids of that woman STILL on his private parts! That, to me, is PSYCHOLOGICAL RAPE! And if Jolene thought I was a “worthless piece of skin” [her letter conveyed that to me], then why, after only 2 months after Jay left me was I able to find a BETTER/LOYAL/HONEST partner than her father was to me, who was the Man of Honor at the wedding of my best friend, a guy, who, only one year ahead of me in my high school, among my HS peers, who had, like me, won honors in music/arts? Really? Is that why I earned a high GPA, A”s & B”s in those writing courses that got me my bachelors degree, after which, a decade later, Melinda Yalom, according to Jay, ENCOURAGED him to write, afterwhich he wrote that nasty story of his lap dance from the stripper..the story that got rejected by The Sun for poor content? Was he JEALOUS of my talents? I think so. Was he like Hannibal Lecter, who coveted/collected the skins of women, to make into a wearable coat, when he regularly bathed in my USED bathwater, my dead skin still in it? I think so.

10/20/2011 4:14:40 PM - If Jay finally tires of preying on middle aged women with “net worth” .., he might try to go after young females, thinking they are “more malleable/gullible. I, for one, believe what Pattie said about him inappropriately touching her younger sister, believe that her sister woke up to find her MOLESTING her. I have a friend from high school days who was married to a very handsome man, handsomer than Jay. My friend was prettier, in my opinion, than Melinda, but was similarly short in height, a longhaired brunette, but with beautiful blue/gray cat like eyes. Her husband, known as the “bard” [wrote beautiful poems] when courting her, VERY romantic, carved, out of ONE piece of pine, a continuous chain for her to wear around her neck..gave it to her when courting her. Though her husband never cheated on her, he had something wrong w/some of his brain neurons, I think, that had him depressed. He killed himself after they married, in less <2 years after marriage. His suicide was a shock to all those from our highschool/tightknit group of artists. Also, if Jay thinks that a woman with “more net worth” than I had..w/a home, was a “better find” than me, he should think about how his friend Jeff Lodsun, in the end, apparently was not content w/the wife who bore him children & who was a SUCCESSFUL lawyer, w/a fine, large home. Guess that was not enough for Jeff, who cheated on his wife, Beth, & I think Jeff left her due to a SIMILAR poor impulse behavior..that or a sex addiction, much like the one I think Jay had/has. I heard, straight out of the mouth of Beth, how Jeff had had phone sex w/a woman, w/in earshot of one of his children, in his marital home. I also heard from Beth, that this woman Jeff had phone sex with, had, at one time, pretended to be her friend. Also, again, I recall the email from Julia Lee, that told me that Jay had had a beautiful home w/Lorrie, wife #2, in Manassas, at one time. Julia, I think, said that their property was on 5 acres. That email from Julia conveyed, I think, shock at him leaving me, as she & her husband had thought, for years, that Jay loved me. I checked out that property when I lived w/Jay. It was, IMOP, MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL than the property of Melinda Yalom, that I also had the chance to visit her home, when I was a guest at her parties, when Melinda was married to Ed Rejuney. So…, if Jay thinks $/land means everything..well.., obviously to me, that did not stop Jay from cheating on Lorrie. To me, only a PIMP/GIGOLO can convince a woman to do all or most of the work of the household, to let him sit back like a lazy ass, enjoin her in deceit, pit woman against woman, & pretend.., convincing HER to pretend, too, that he is/was the “good guy”, & that his former women were all “flawed”…Yet, I think, the “flaws” are HIS..SICK CHARACTER FLAWS! Worse if, for a whole year, while carrying on TWO relationships, he treats the woman w/whom he lives like a used condom..continues “making love” w/her as though nothing has happened, USES HER MOUTH LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN A USED CONDOM, weekly & month after month! And for all she knows, he might have had sex w/another woman only HOURS before that happened, the body fluids of that woman STILL on his private parts! That, to me, is PSYCHOLOGICAL RAPE! Also, if Jolene thought I was a “worthless piece of skin” , which her letter conveyed to me she did, then why, after only 2 months, after Jay left me, was I able to find a BETTER/LOYAL/HONEST partner than her father was to me, who was the MAN OF HONOR at the wedding of my best friend..a guy, who, only one year ahead of me in my same high school, among my HS peers, had, like I had, won honors in music/arts awards???

10/20/2011 4:15:17 PM - If Jay finally tires of preying on middle aged women with “net worth” .., he might try to go after young females, thinking they are “more malleable/gullible. I, for one, believe what Pattie said about him inappropriately touching her younger sister, believe that her sister woke up to find her MOLESTING her. I have a friend from high school days who was married to a very handsome man, handsomer than Jay. My friend was prettier, in my opinion, than Melinda, but was similarly short in height, a longhaired brunette, but with beautiful blue/gray cat like eyes. Her husband, known as the “bard” [wrote beautiful poems] when courting her, VERY romantic, carved, out of ONE piece of pine, a continuous chain for her to wear around her neck..gave it to her when courting her. Though her husband never cheated on her, he had something wrong w/some of his brain neurons, I think, that had him depressed. He killed himself after they married, in less <2 years after marriage. His suicide was a shock to all those from our highschool/tightknit group of artists. Also, if Jay thinks that a woman with “more net worth” than I had..w/a home, was a “better find” than me, he should think about how his friend Jeff Lodsun, in the end, apparently was not content w/the wife who bore him children & who was a SUCCESSFUL lawyer, w/a fine, large home. Guess that was not enough for Jeff, who cheated on his wife, Beth, & I think Jeff left her due to a SIMILAR poor impulse behavior..that or a sex addiction, much like the one I think Jay had/has. I heard, straight out of the mouth of Beth, how Jeff had had phone sex w/a woman, w/in earshot of one of his children, in his marital home. I also heard from Beth, that this woman Jeff had phone sex with, had, at one time, pretended to be her friend. Also, again, I recall the email from Julia Lee, that told me that Jay had had a beautiful home w/Lorrie, wife #2, in Manassas, at one time. Julia, I think, said that their property was on 5 acres. That email from Julia conveyed, I think, shock at him leaving me, as she & her husband had thought, for years, that Jay loved me. I checked out that property when I lived w/Jay. It was, IMOP, MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL than the property of Melinda Yalom, that I also had the chance to visit her home, when I was a guest at her parties, when Melinda was married to Ed Rejuney. So…, if Jay thinks $/land means everything..well.., obviously to me, that did not stop Jay from cheating on Lorrie. To me, only a PIMP/GIGOLO can convince a woman to do all or most of the work of the household, to let him sit back like a lazy ass, enjoin her in deceit, pit woman against woman, & pretend.., convincing HER to pretend, too, that he is/was the “good guy”, & that his former women were all “flawed”…Yet, I think, the “flaws” are HIS..SICK CHARACTER FLAWS! Worse if, for a whole year, while carrying on TWO relationships, he treats the woman w/whom he lives like a used condom..continues “making love” w/her as though nothing has happened, USES HER MOUTH LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN A USED CONDOM, weekly & month after month! And for all she knows, he might have had sex w/another woman only HOURS before that happened, the body fluids of that woman STILL on his private parts! That, to me, is PSYCHOLOGICAL RAPE! Also, if Jolene thought I was a “worthless piece of skin” , which her letter conveyed to me she did, then why, after only 2 months, after Jay left me, was I able to find a BETTER/LOYAL/HONEST partner than her father was to me, who was the MAN OF HONOR at the wedding of my best friend..a guy, who, only one year ahead of me in my same high school, among my HS peers, had, like I had, won honors in music/arts awards???

10/21/2011 12:55:37 PM - When first dating Jay will open right up to confess SOME of his past sins. In reality, he is not actually repentant, rather warning you about what is ahead, eventually. Except for the part about having oral sex w/his gay male cousin, which he forgets to tell you about until about your fourth year w/him, he will not tell you he sexed men in his past UNTIL years down the line, after he has decided to end the relationship. If you want him to turn “straight” again, just tell him you will out him to his mama [if she is still alive], who is/was apparently a Bible Belter/Thumper from the Midwest, who just would not understand. This will probably bring on more croc tears from him. He reels you in, years later gets really abusive, brainwashes you while searching for his next victim. He acquires, infiltrates, then destroys, loves to mingle w/your friends & family, play like he is next in line to join the family & had my whole family duped. If he cries alligator tears, DO NOT BUY IT! He always cheats in order to leave the relationship. It did not matter to me if he was rich or poor but when the guy is a serial liar, I had to blow the whistle. I believe Jay has several personality disorders, so plays tricks to confuse women, his favorites include appealing for pity by crying like a baby, giving nice presents or doing extraordinary things for them, like assembling a few pieces of furniture, raking the yard, taking his vacations w/his victims [including some on the budget of her family!] & occasionally to nice restaurants, feeding the birds, filling the bird bath. When he first moved in w/me, he said, “Bet you thought I was not domesticated, did you?” [his insecurities speaking..loud & clear..BUT YOU WILL OVERLOOK THESE!] Jay lives in constant denial, feels no remorse for his cruel acts, has preyed on self conscious females unconvinced of their worth or who feel they are at low points of their lives [2 single mothers, so far, if you include Melinda in that category.] Do not do as I did, invest years in a sick soul who is cunningly manipulative, able to hide his neediness/pathologies extremely well .. FOR YEARS! .., until it is too late to see the REAL him. The drama w/Jay was never~ending & once he is discovered cheating & decides to leave, he will do either or both of 2 things: accuse you of having abandonment issues or of being insecure [his OWN insecurities speaking] &/or turn nasty w/harassing emotional blackmail [he did this to me in the form of email. I have proof!] .. OR MAYBE even harass/vandalize you, or POSSIBLY STEAL from you, or put/leave you in debt!

10/23/2011 7:53:04 PM - The time Jay said he was going w/his “mother & sister only”, to a Bed & Breakfast “owned by two gay guys” he knew? The time I went, for 2 days, to Richmond for Quark training? The time he paid for my Xmas present, to take a pottery class, nights, for 2 months?..probably ALL times he was sexing Melinda! Be careful, you, too, might find unsavory sites on his computer”s history. Watch out, he might be advertising on sites to meet couples who are interested in “play during the day”! [What can you expect from someone who told me that one of his sisters taught him how to “dirty dance”..took him dancing w/her, & it happened when he was a minor, is my guess]? And, to Jill..who Jay said did phone sex calls for a living, before she got married? If so, WHAT WAS HE DOING TELLING HER BUSINESS TO ME? His M.O. for years, I think, has been to pit/plot woman against woman to get what he wanted. Apparently Jay feels/felt he is/was above the law & can use women. Seems like he made cheating his way of life. Although he might be a “sober” alcoholic, REMEMBER..MOST ADDICTS USUALLY HAVE MORE THAN ONE ADDICTION! He has/had sexual perversions that he tries/tried to enact w/whichever female will accommodate them. I felt violated. The only way you MIGHT be able to catch Jay cheating is to look @ his cell phone records [he might erase all calls after he makes/receives them], or check his email records. Deep down I knew something was not right. More & more, toward the end, he reversed things on me. Toward the end, intimacy became impossible for him, as I think he could not perform normally/sexually due to his masturbation/porn habits. What a 180° turn from the days he told me, “you make my blood boil” [the beginning] & “we made love just now just like in that movie, Love On A Hot Afternoon” [one time only, after his porn habits were firmly fixed, & he had been acting out for more than a year].. I think he is delusional. Watch out for him, after he is done w/you or he might start prank calling you, like a highschooler, or instigate “robo calls” from 3rd parties. He will string you on for years depending on what skills you have & what you can do for him meanwhile. Jay fronts like he is a spiritual kind of guy, musical/artsy, yet, you will find, in due time, when he is cheating & you confront him, he will lie & deny it to your face. What I found out from Pattie only re-invigorated my sense of purpose in exposing Jay for who/what he really is. One thing to naysay the account of ONE woman, more difficult to naysay the accounts/witnessing of TWO women! I seriously believe that Jay was & still is a relationship hopper w/serious mental health issues that need dealing with, but instead he created [& will again, I suspect] new personas for himself & that he tried to pull off on women. I doubt he is capable of honesty. Look up the comments posted on 12/12/2006 7:58:38 AM, under profile for “Jambo John” on this web site. Do it, please! The description reminded me of Jay to a “T” : http://www.womansavers.com/p_guydetails.asp?id=14090 See also the profiles up here on Paul Marney Ledbetter [suspected incest, alleged thief, abandoner of wedding vows, http://www.womansavers.com/p_guydetails.asp?id=16258] & Eric E. Richardson [Alleged: ~ sociopath, ~ borderline personality disorder ~ perpetual compulsive liar ~ fraudulent, ~ misrepresented himself to bed women ~ sexual/emotional affairs ~ INCEST w/cousins ~ pedophilic tendencies, in past & still possible ~ emotional abuse ~ possibly bipolar ~ addictive issues ~ victim of covert incest ~ extreme mama”s boy ~ child abandoner ~ believes “women should be wards of the state”, http://www.womansavers.com/p_guydetails.asp?id=27898] If Jay “lost his virginity” to either his sister or his gay male cousin, when he was a minor [as what he told me about his activities with each of them, seemed to indicate], then I think he is someone you should be SUSPECT of and CAREFUL around. I believe that Jay is a GRIFTER! I referred to the life of Sylvia Plath, above, & to her conning husband, Ted Hughes. It was written also that Hughes tried to erase the journals of Plath, so that she could not tell her story. I kept my calendars, records of EACH AND EVERY TIME Jay “got his” orally, when I was BLEEDING profusely, & when I still endeavored to please him sexually/orally. Meanwhile, I think, Melinda.., or at least he said it was Melinda, recommended a book on peri menopause for me. She deserves her own special place in hell, for enjoining him, to allow in his lies to continue. Jay cannot erase my journals, nor this or other profiles on him! He was no good at “eating the pearl” , either..just mashed the mons, no subtle Flick The Bick w/ACTUAL love/sensuality/meaning, if you catch my drift. Now I KNOW the difference, w/my new love & my 9 yr love in my 20s. Jay sucks & probably sucks c*cks, too! Probably thought he learned pearl eating from watching all those porn flicks. Uh uh. No such luck.

10/26/2011 4:04:07 PM - Well, it has been more than 11 years since I got the jerk out of my life. Yay! If you read this thinking that I must just be some jaded/crazy female, then his deception/manipulation has already begun to hook you. He presents as trustworthy, shy, charismatic but by the time you realize that you have been duped, it is way too late. I believe Jay had/has serious issues related to sex/sexuality that originate from his restrictive “Christian” upbringing. Though Jay is a very sexual being [probably oversexed, given his apparent/alleged history w/lacking impulse controls], I believe that his impulses clash hardcore w/the force~fed ideas of his family, while raised. He has ruined lives! I believe that it is an ego trip for him! I hope his daughter, Jolene, finally sees him for what I think he is..A SOCIOPATH! And she should be ashamed of herself for that letter to me she wrote [“worthless piece of skin” she PROJECTED..just like her father liked to do..PROJECT anomalies to women he dissed] She did not think I was a “worthless piece of skin” when I curled her hair for her high school dance, when I listened when she told me about being bullied at school, when she, her father and I assembled puzzles together, or went bowling together, or went iceskating together, or when I helped her find those black fringed boots she wanted, or when I allowed her to have ANY friend over to spend the night, or when I celebrated HER birthdays all those years, or when I included her in the 80th Birthday celebration for my father, at Rehoboth beach, or when I gave her all those little presents..jewelry, clothing, etc., .. even lent my fishnet hose to one of her girlfriends. Her loss, not mine. If I was such a “worthless piece of skin” .., then why did it take me LESS THAN THREE MONTHS to find a GOOD guy with SUBSTANCE, a home of his own who would FINALLY LET ME SET DOWN ROOTS, probably with BETTER working skills than her father, SEXIER, FITTER, WELL TRAVELED, etc? No need for an answer. That was a rhetorical question. Jay must think that withholding information is not lying. I think he deludes himself. I believe his M.O. will continue to be, as it was w/me, that initially, he will be superficially respectful w/women, but after his seduction, as the female gets more attracted to him [this may take yrs], he will resort to dissing her, w/blatant mean behavior. I think no amount of therapy could help him, as I think he has too many deep~seated issues & deep anger that he displaces onto women. Pattie told me that when Jay lived w/her he ran off one night w/gay motorcycle guys. See profile for Robert Hall, http://www.datingpsychos.com/psycho/Robert%20Hall/6007 .. Allegedly Hall is/was into tranny porn .. all kinds of sick stuff, alleged to be mentally ill, quote, “will lie to the bitter end because all he cares about is winning and hurting woman as a pay back for a girl hurting him and his mother abandoning him to his grandmother after being abused by a biker boyfriend” .. unquote. If Hall was abused by a gay motorcyclist, maybe Jay was, too, and like Hall, if Jay wanted to hurt other females after “some girl hurting” him early on, maybe it was one of his sisters, the gay motorcycle guys AND his gay male cousin, COMBINED. Also see profile for Joe Deverell,http://www.datingpsychos.com/psycho/Joe~Deverell/6009 [replace wavy dash w/straight dash]: “split personality or extreme fragmentation of the self due to the extreme emotional abuse in his childhood an absence of real feelings is substituted by 2 selves” .. “narcissistic defenses which make it impossible for him to accept intimacy, because it feels to him like control, and it terrifies him. He uses humor to draw you in but also to deflect intimacy” .. “into Native American spirituality and numerology it is all part of his strange fantasy world, none of it is real” .. “you will also guess that he likely bats for the other team {likes men} this would make sense as women both intrigue and terrify him” ..

10/29/2011 12:13:35 PM - TO SUM IT UP AGAIN, I BELIEVE [~] : ~ Jay lives in a false reality, in love w/the idea of love & in love w/the idea of himself as a capable/strong man, yet, ~ is DANGEROUS, & became threatening/aggressive, & physically abusive towards women in his past who questioned him about his monogamy, that these were all women he cheated on. ~ He is NOT TRUSTWORTHY & should be considered destructive to the emotional/physical hlth of any woman. ~ He cheated multiple times behind the backs of his 1st & 2nd wives, lied & manipulated women into believing it was their fault. ~ He is extremely deceitful & will go to great lengths to hide behind a false sense of devotion. Careful, Jay might be performing sexual acts w/random people in public toilets or who he met in bookstores, adult porn video renting venues, or even at a “band practice” he might say he needs to go to [w/out you, of course.] He SPECIFICALLY told me once, when I asked him, “Have you ever been attracted to a man?” He answered, “in a bookstore I did.” ~ is a sick sex addict w/severe control/anger issues, has a gargantuan/arrogant chip on his shoulder [to cover his insecurities; he admitted to me, though, having low self esteem], ~ is addicted to sex, porn, & possibly by now, [behind the scenes] online sex/dating/swinger sites! ~ is an insecure male who needed/needs to hit on married women. ~ He is a parasite who feels/felt no remorse for the damage he inflicts/inflicted upon others ~ is a pathological liar whose whole life is one big lie which he has come to believe ~ He perpetually digs his own holes & wants others to fall w/him! His schemes always turn disastrous & U will be the one cleaning up his messes. ~ He will steal/cheat/lie/weasel his way for the rest of his life. ~ is a sociopath who is out for only himself. ~ THIS IS NOT JUST A CASE OF A MERE “PLAYER”! I have known about players since I was a teen. My mother had one of them in her life who only stayed for 2 years. ~ he is FAR WORSE than a “player” , is MENTALLY ILL, thrives on chaos & making the lives of others chaotic! ~ he goes, has gone after women for the sole purpose of exploiting her sex/services & networth. ~ Males like him DO NOT CHANGE, things I described are MAJOR CHARACTER FLAWS. ~ He got stopped by cops in Manassas, when 1st dating me, for peeing in public; if he did that, & IF they wrote that up for a “sex offense”.. think WHAT ELSE HE MIGHT DO, w/uncontrolled impulses! ~ what his 1st wife, Pattie told me about him was true, that her younger sister woke up to him “stroking” her body parts. ~ all other things Pattie said RE Jay are true, too [that 2 of her gay male friends said they had sex w/him; that he asked her to “do” him while she wore a strap on; that he had sex w/their married neighbor woman; that he ran off, MIA, w/gay motorcycle guys & did not come home one night, or came back in the wee hours of the morning.] ~ he stole a baby photo of Pattie, that he never tried to find her to return her antique bed ~ no matter how many times he marries, he will never STAY married w/out cheating..his experience before Melinda bears that out. ~ he is a SEX ADDICT & overlapped Lorrie & Pattie, used women as stepping stones. ~ certain members of his family excuse, if not cover, for his sociopathic behavior ~ he is a sex addict who, if he did “work the program” did not work it enough to overcome his habit, & that he was at an ESCALATED SEX ADDICTION level when beginning his affair w/Melinda. I think NO AMOUNT of “program” can cure his habits, & that he uses/used codependency jargon to flip the script on his past women. ~ he can never be remorseful of his past transgressions, b/c he is a SOCIOPATH, incapable of TRUE emotions, so can only FAKE them, so JAY ONLY SERVES THE ENDS MEANS FOR JAY, concerned about no one else, that is he says he is “sorry”.. it only means, “I am sorry I got caught” ~ that he practiced/practices the REVERSE tenets of AA ~ that he thinks he is above the rules of society, so flaunts the way he behaves & MOCKS those rules! ~ he let/lets other females, including his daughter, fight his battles, as he like to pit WOMAN CONTRA WOMAN. ~ his telling me that he faked being gay to get out of the Vietnam war draft was a BIG TELL. ~ when he watches Redskin games..leaves peanut shells in the furniture, w/those cute “wolf” howls, he is probably, instead, ADMIRING THE BUTTOCKS OF MEN, not b/c he is your “normal” male sports fanatic. ~ I predict he will, as he did to me, throw something @ your face/body, as he did to me, that he is violent ~ KARMA IS A BITCH WHO TELLS THE TRUTH! Hope she enjoys those coffee cup rings he habitually left on edge of the bathtub. ~ Melinda should install a key log software on his computer, to see if or how often he types in my email addy, to see if he is the one instigating SPAM emails via 3rd parties, to my email addy, as I have saved >1500 SPAMS like that, sent to me since Nov of last yr.. NO ONE ELSE I KNOW would have done that.

10/29/2011 12:13:51 PM - If Jay seems “organized” to you, or like the “best handyman in the world” .. like your “fix it” guy, perhaps just b/c he has his lapidary equipment all in a row, consider, instead, that he might have OCDC [obsessive compulsive disorder.] Think..how many TRUE artists do you know who are perfectly “organized”? If you cannot fathom how a closet homosexual or so~called “bisexual” can deceive women, read the profile up here RE Walid Mohammed Aburwida. A few excerpts from it: “lies about his name, age, ethnicity and about his real purposes he seeks in relationships [] will be so romance, caring, and attentive at first [] a dangerous man that should not be out there on the net or in real seeking dates relationships marriages [] is such a player he is NEVER monogamous in any relationship, he loves to play around a lot on the net and in real to seek other sexual partners while in a steady relationship [] sex freak and the woman has to be concerned about possibly contracting sexual diseases and or infections from him [] loves to go after vulnerable divorced single separated women in the 33+ age group to play with their emotions, ONLY to utilize them [] says “I love you” like if he was giving out candy. He is not a man of action in the love, just a man of words with empty promises. He has no respect for women and to him, we are just objects to be utilized [] has an extensive imagination he has no limits to what he can make for his reality [] lies compulsively [] impossible to remark how fathomable his creativity is...he is very insidious and sly very smooth [] professional expert conartist and can even fool highly intelligent people [] At first appeareance he is very very charming [] as if he were the one that was abused in the previous relationships when in reality it was the other way around everything that comes out of his mouth is half truth intwined with some of his imagination and or a complete lie to keep you on the hook interested so he can further take advantage of you or use you [] is generally interested in your financial situations. Also if you have any younger children he likes to brainwash them against the mother to take side with him and further manipulate the mom [] an expert flatterer [] has very low selfesteem [] has coping problems with drugs [] an expert at reverse psychology and will manipulate to the extreme [] can be very impressionable and even if someone were to tell you and warn you about him he can talk his way out of anything he easily produces crocodile tears and can generate sympathy [] is like a butterfly flitting from woman to woman this is how he makes a living [] is a very dangerous and is capable of HIGH AMOUNTS OF PSYCHODRAMA” [] will appear as if he is an independent man [] is bisexual and sodomizes many many people and has had affairs with other men [] uses sex as a weapon and controlling device he will verbally manipulate you and lower your selfconfidence self esteem and selfworth [] will use reverse psychology and will make you feel like he is doing you a favor by being with you and he has actually said this to me, it is easier for him to brainwash slowly and gradually over days, his behavior is adamantly a guilty conscience [] You will end up hurt and crying and not even know what you”ve done [] His behavior is indeed guilty he will accuse you of what he is actually doing [] cannot cope with truth this is the only way he can tell the truth pay attention to his jokes he is actually telling the truth. Everything he says about another person is usually about him [] will strike up conversations about other people putting them down and at the end making himself look better than others, everything that comes out of his mouth is reversal, a lie, and half truth [] is on the net on websites looking for dating and or sexual encounters and he is married [] mental, physical, and verbal abuse [] using women for money and other things, what is he a gigolo?”

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10/31/2011 4:38:34 PM - I recall, when I worked for a VA state employer, a tenured professor & head of the Computer Science dept. where I worked, I told Jay about how 2 young guys who got caught for internet pornography activities, at the university. My then boss said, “It is sad, but they have compromised their futures/careers”.. I think that Jay has, as well. It seems that Jay did not learn the lesson I tried to impart to him then. ONE LAST PERSON by which to compare Jay & that is DDHG~profiled Charles Holley [Chicago, IL Atlanta, GA DC NY]: “Marriages 3 {at least} between 1997 & 2004: Currently married. He is a bigamist. He marries a new wife before divorce proceedings have been filed by the previous wife. He has done this at least twice. 20 times [] sued by people [] A few of these cases are eviction proceedings against him [] He filed for bankruptcy in 2006. In his bankruptcy he listed over $500,000 debt. Why MAY a woman fall for him: [] will speak as if he”s world”s greatest father [] notes how special they are, but he does not set a good example for them. He uses them as an excuse for why he may not be able to commit. HIS MOTHER: He will use her death as an excuse for his behavior. Whatever behavior that may be, he will blame her death. HIS FATHER: He will use his father”s rejection as an excuse for his behavior. His father is his 2nd excuse. If he tells you about his mother or father, it”s a ploy to make you feel sorry for him and to allow him to continue to misbehave. He cannot be fixed, repaired or healed by you. He needs a therapist, not a concerned woman to drain. HIS TEARS: A ploy to make you feel sorry for him. Watch his reasons for crying. They are often inappropriate for the situation. It is a ploy. He cries as quickly as a car on the expressway moves. It”s not real. It”s a talent much like his lying. HIS E~WIFE OR WIVES {depending on how many he tells you about}: He portrays himself as the victim. He says he has married mean women who are verbally/mentally abusive to him and his children. He claims, his wives never loved him, they never cared enough to understand him, they never really wanted him, they only married him for a baby or he only married her because she was pregnant [] convincing BS and yet at the same time when you hear it, you think “this is not a man who would stand for that,” [] Don”t fall for it. It is a LIE. [] if you”re dating him and know he”s married, ask yourself why he did not file for divorce if his wife is so terrible. She owns the house not him, he has no money [] If he is so unappreciated and abused, why did his other wives file for divorce only after he”d married someone else? If he has been so mistreated why was he divorced, instead of him divorcing them. If you did not know he was married and you confront him he is going to tell you he was embarrassed, ashamed and conflicted. He will cry as if it is him who is learning this news. [] he needs the attention. When he”s getting it elsewhere he will go away, but he will be back. [] you are not special, this is typical behavior. [] He portrays himself to be very definite regarding right/wrong, good/bad [] an extremely endearing quality [] another ploy. Right people divorce before getting married, they aren”t sued over 20 times, they repay people they owe [] they let the women they deal with know the truth. [] He lets you talk and listens. Note if it does not benefit him, he does not really listen at all. He will remember nothing you say that is not beneficial to him. HIS CON: if you”re seeing him, you do benefit him and unfortunately not in the way you think. [] don”t blame yourself. It”s easy to fall for an actor, who can morph into exactly what you want. Remember he listens to what benefits him. You have only one life to live in, reality or be a puppet in his play” .. OOH, that part about “tears often inappropriate for the situation” & rejection by father as a ploy? JAY BROWN to a “T”! The Great Manipulator, great at making women feel bad & that everything was THEIR fault, when it was all HIS. That tactic lets him shift your focus off himself, as his lies mount, which they will, like all sociopaths do!

11/3/2011 5:14:10 PM - Melinda Yalom, I guess you are STUCK w/Jay Brown..STUCK w/a 3~TIME LOSER! JAY TOLD ME HE WOULD NOT INHERIT FROM HIS MOTHER, SINCE SHE HAD GIVEN HIM “SO MUCH” ACROSS THE YEARS. I NEVER cheated on Jay. Occasionally, b/c of his deceit, I wonder if I should have, though. Nor have I cheated on my CURRENT partner, the one I have loved since Jay. This is my lesson to other women! I will henceforth advise young/other women what to do about MALE PREDATORS! .. but only if they ask my advice, I do not stick my nose where it does not belong, like some I know. So much for the “Brown Clan”..as his mother described to me, it was! [“the Browns take care of their own”].. I hate the word “clan” anyway..ha ha..reminds me of the Ku Klux Klan! All those small “gifts” his mother gave to me across years..the faux Chrismas tree, her black, faux leather boots, size 9, the plastic containers for our clothing, the oil cloth table cloth, the events hosted BY ME, at MY HOME, for his children, to celebrate their RIGHTS OF PASSAGE, where SHE was present, contributed to, w/food, etc., ..all the recipes she & her relatives shared w/me, that I repeated/created for Jay… Her old couch she gave me that I paid a pretty penny to have recovered for our home? WHAT DID THEY ALL MEAN? HER INTENT? HER EFFORTS ..MY YEARS INVESTED MEANT NOTHING! I hope these historical accounts remain on the conscience of Melinda Yalom! Hope you have lousy holidays, Melinda, I will be celebrating mine w/my HONEST JEWISH RELATIVES & other holidays, Christian, Hindu & others w/my Significant Other & our friends! .. basically, celebrating the PASSAGES/QUALITY of life of which, I think, you/Jay would have INTENTIONALLY deprived me, when you allowed Jay to play the CUCKOLD GAME! Melinda Yalom, you may CLAIM a Jewish cultural heritage, by birth, but I lived in the country, as a child, & later, in my 20s, learned Hebrew, worked in the country, DID HARD LABOR, in an HONEST way, arose at 4 a.m. to work in the fields, for months! The Jews/Jewesses I respected in those times would NEVER have done what you did to me! Neither Jay nor you can EVER remove the strengths I gained from that experience, which neither of you ever had! The HAVERIM [in Hebrew it means BROTHERHOOD/FAMILY] in that foreign venue respected me for my child mentoring/working skills, a thing NEITHER of you could ever fathom! You might be able to dismiss the account of ONE woman who tells you that Jay is an ABUSER, but it is difficult for you to contest TWO women who witnessed same. Believe me, Melinda, the when the HONEST, MORAL Judeo~Christian community in MD discovers the deceits of Jay Brown, you will not feel like an HONORABLE wife! Jay will also use diversion to wear YOU down .. eventually. Your “arrangement” means NOTHING! .. not when/if he wants/wanted the MEAT of a MAN! To Jay I sing, “You could have been more Than a name on the door, More than a consumer Lying in some room trying to hide [] And the wife she keeps the keys, She is so pleased to be A part of the arrangement” ~ Joni Mitchell, The Arrangement .. except I think it is Jay who is more pleased to be a part of that arrangement, much like a GIGOLO. He possibly went after Melinda b/c her name, like that of Evelyn Vignola, has “lin” or “lyn” in it, as in “Linda”..the sis he said let him watch while she masturbated. He probably took his hidden RAGE out on me b/c my name phonetically sounds like the name of his mother!

11/8/2011 10:14:43 AM - Jay also used his family [sisters, mother] as excuses when he wanted to cheat, said that he was going somewhere w/one or two of them, or to see them..somewhere that did not include me. When he went to the high school graduation for his daughter, I was not included/invited, after all those years w/him & mentoring her. His ex, Lorrie was, though. I saw photos. Complete opposite of the time, early on, when I attended the school concert where his daughter performed violin. I did not see Lorrie there, though, & it was ME who took James, their son, to get his drivers license, not Jay or Lorrie. I guess neither of them had the time. You WILL NOT RATE AS A MATE w/his family, no matter how kind/giving you are. Perish the thought! Before moving in w/me, he lived w/his mom. At that time, his credit was probably so bad that he could not have rented an apt. of his own or a phone in his name. I had to let him use my phone for more or less a year, then wean his customers from using my phone # for his biz, after he finally got his own #. So, I believe he used MY GOOD CREDIT to get himself out of a bad spot.. is nothing more than a deluded egotist. He presents at 1st as sincere, romantic & emotionally tender but he is an EMOTIONAL PREDATOR, who I think, over time, derives his kicks from hurting/using women in any way he can, & starts relationships by lying. Part of his M.O., I think, is to present as the mysterious/sweet, good natured Boy Next Door, to appear interesting to potential female conquests, who he, down the line treats as doormats or refuses to let them be/grow/flourish or set down roots, plays the “victim” while overlapping women, is an ESCAPIST, a CHILD IN THE BODY OF A MAN, emotionally unstable, latches onto people who he thinks will solve his problems, then blames them for his unhappiness/issues, drags you into his failing business or attaches to YOUR potentially successful one, & may LATER STALK, VANDALIZE or STEAL from you, becomes a SERIAL RESPONSIBILITY SHIRKER, wants you to think he is some kind of hip existential artist, but is, instead a sycophant ass kisser to get what he wants, which, I think, is YOUR $ & to gain access to your friendship circles to do his dirties, & in the end will gaslight/blacktop/badmouth you, gravedress things to HIS twisted reality, to make himself appear better to others..is an unrelenting narcissist & his extended family, or at least several members of it, will 1st welcome you, then turn on you &/or give him cover, when/after you confront him about his duplicity, after years of you investing emotionally/financially/spiritually in him. Truly charming once he sets his sights on you, but after you open your hearth/heart to him, I predict he will try to control you & possibly what you spend, to ensnare you, & ensure you can pay ½ [if not more or ALL] of the household bills while he pays for frivolous items like porn, meanwhile, he probably has no savings or life insurance, & drives a beater car [or convinced you to share YOUR car.] Moreover, if I were Melinda, I would read THOROUGHLY the profile for Michael Steven Constable, alleged bigamist, pedophile & schizophrenic. I found many parallels in the profile about the character of Constable, that I feel are also in Jay Brown: “As a rule, when Michael feels painted into a corner, he moves to another state and starts over...the wanderer” .. but I would read the ENTIRE profile on Constable, http://dontdatehimgirl.com/posts/15229/ .. & I would NOT ignore what Pattie, ex wife #1 had to say about Jay having “touched” her baby sister, allegedly inappropriately, while she was asleep, & awoke to him doing that. I recall how creepy I felt about him getting little boys to help him rake leaves & wanting to give talks about rocks/gems in a nursery school in our neighborhood. I would also LISTEN to what Carey Creed, amazingly TALENTED musician & friend to Ed Rejuney [former hubby of Melinda] learned about Jay, IF she is willing to come forward. If she is the SPIRITUAL woman I think she is [was once the g/f of guy who eventually married my best friend], she will TELL what she knows/heard! Likewise, about EZRA YU, who I think has much to tell about Jay! Meanwhile duping you, he might sing his “Carpenter” song about Jesus, or the “Tattler” song by Ry Cooder, or the other one, “Daddies Need to Grow Up, Too” [better yet, if you are a FEMALE musician, accomplished, but will, I allege throw her over for a female who has not those abilities & who seems to have been a GROUPIE in her past. After all, the hubby Jay cuckolded was, I think a BETTER musician than Jay, at least, classically educated]..to convince you that he is a good guy. Yes..what a beautiful/deep male voice..but at what cost his seduction measures?

11/9/2011 10:18:43 AM - This will be my last statement. I predict that Jay will, eventually, toy w/your emotions, as he did to me & others before me. When he is done w/you, [& very probably did to Lorrie & Pattie!]..dipped out of contact until he thought I forgot why I was angry w/him.., which is IMMATURE/CHILDISH behavior & yet another example of the PUSH~PULL, WHIPSAW MANEUVER [also a trait that B PD persons share, & is also called “intermittent reinforcement”] In my strong opinion, beneath his fake mask is a heartless guy who lacks honesty, sincerity, & true understanding/compassion for other humans. In my opinion, Jay has serially sought out [READ: PREYED ON] vulnerable women who had a deep emotional need for their lives to improve, entered their lives, PRETENDED TO fill those needs, built those women up then knocked them down, probably to lower levels than what they had before he entered their lives, saw the kindness of those women as WEAKNESS, used them to the max, 1st put them on pedestals then pushed them off the cliff. He convinced me to move out of my Manassas apt., to move in w/him & share his life w/his daughter, 8.5 years, only to knock me down in the end when he found YET ANOTHER WOMAN WHO WOULD BELIEVE HIS B.S., pit her against me. This is NOT the 1st time he did this, had a woman feeling like she was a family w/him, charmed them, used them, then became Walk Away Joe just when they thought things could not get any better. & I wonder on how many of the others, before me, did he attempt emotional blackmail? On how many of those women did he PROJECT/DEFLECT his OWN flaws, as if they were THEIR flaws? I cannot overemphasize this..ANY WOMAN DEALING WITH HIM ON AN INTIMATE LEVEL SHOULD ASK OF HIS SISTERS, PAULA/JOYCE/JEANNINE IF THEY KNOW HE HAS PSYCH DISORDERS, & IF THEY SAY “YES”, ASK THEM WHICH ONES SPECIFICALLY DOES HE HAVE & NOT GIVE UP UNTIL U HAVE TRUE ANSWERS! & hopefully, get those answers BEFORE you are too far involved w/him. & to think that he SEEMED to have such a NICE family. Now they do not seem so nice..not as nice as MINE, a MORAL one. I think it is IMMORAL/AMORAL to keep mental disorders secret from wives or Significant Others, if that is what occurred. He will inevitably find subtle ways to chip away @ your self esteem, who you want to be, who you are. I believe: that Jay is like Corey Fouchi, .. had a childhood trauma resulting in him being a sex fiend @ a young age, can never get enough, that he will have sex w/anybody/anytime/anywhere, comes on charming, but the sex will eventually turn perverted, that if he says he feels sorry for someone, he is sleeping w/her, if he tells you he is escorting someone, he is escorting her to bed, if he says he bumped into an old girlfriend, he bumped into her vagina [if he asks you if you think a friend of yours is “the complaining type”, believe it, SHE IS A POTENTIAL VICTIM & HE HAS PROBABLY ALREADY BEDDED HER WHILE LIVING W/YOU!], that he will STILL seek handouts, that he is a con artist & fraud & bottom feeder w/no class/money/morals/integrity, no future & fading looks, that he is a SEXUAL PREDATOR/SICKO, that he MIGHT be or has been a male prostitute who will do anything for sex/$ & SERIALLY slept w/married women, that his m.o. is to come on as Mr. Nice Guy but the pervert in him will EVENTUALLY emerge, that he pretends to be a man of God. He never stepped foot in any church when he lived w/me [except 2X, for our Bluemont Concert Series gig, a church venue, & when we attended the funereal service for Dulce] His behavior tore apart friendships, I predict he will continue on that bent, & will continue wanting to be a baller on the $ of women. FINALLY, I reached a level of INDIFFERENCE [last level of healing from a life experience from an emotional abuser, yes, healing requires STAGES, slow process of IDENTIFYING levels of abuse from our former partners] where Jay is concerned, no matter what he does or how he might attempt to harass/sabotage/stalk me. For that, I CELEBRATE..I APPRECIATE the life I found, post Jay Brown. I CHALLENGE Melinda to go visit & talk to the former brother in law of Jay, Michael Fowler, Professor of Physics, in Charlottesville, VA, b/c Michael was married to Dulce. I feel certain that Dulce probably told Michael what mental disorders Jay had/has, if she knew he had any, & while at it, ask him about an episode that Jay told me about, to do w/Sara, daughter of Linda [sister of Jay]. Jay told me that Sara borrowed, w/out permission, Michael”s video cam, & that Michael was furious w/Sara. Maybe “Brown family dysfunction” showed up in the genes of Sarah, who wanted to be an actress? I also thought her brother, Doug, handsome guy, was an alcoholic. I believe that Jay is immensely insecure, mentally ill, & looks for his pride from other women, will hide behind his “spiritual music”, & has HUGE potential for abusing more women after me!

11/22/2011 3:37:45 PM - It is the PREROGATIVE of a woman to change her mind, thus, another statement .. In my opinion, based on my 9~year relationship w/a man, long BEFORE JAY, who TRULY loved me in my 20s, & based on all other relationships BEFORE mine w/Jay Brown, Jay was not only a premature ejaculator..OR had Erectile Dysfunction .. problems KEEPING IT UP & GOING after he got it up, but is a COMPLETE PHONY. Jay never will destroy.. could not DESTROY my spirit/confidence like I think he wanted to do, nor can he destroy the RELATIONSHIP I found since him, that RECOGNIZED/RECOGNIZES my confidence! So, Jay, if it is YOU who keeps instigating those daily SPAM emails from 3rd parties, regarding penis enlargement & Viagra/Cialis ads, I think that YOU are FLIPPING THE SCRIPT AGAIN, projecting YOUR issues onto ME and my VERY POTENT partner since you! & if it is YOU who has been doing this, then WE LAUGH AT YOU! Any woman who has BECOME a woman, CANNOT BE TURNED BACK INTO A FEMALE CHILD..though YOU might want her to [or for her to become a LESBIAN when she IS NOT ONE, nor EVER wanted to be one] If that is what you wanted, then YOU are confused as to YOUR sexual identity, & you JUST MIGHT BE A PEDOPHILE. After Jay, I felt like I had come out from a coma..in a long funk.., but, since then, for 10+ years, I rejoice! My purpose for posting profiles about him is to WARN other females to avoid his wake, much like our national news agencies would warn us about impending natural disasters. I will bet he tells others that some of his exes are loco, to explain away any woman~hopping in his past, bet you that he has told you he is a “changed man”..like he probably told EVERY OTHER WOMAN HE LIVED WITH BEFORE YOU! I, on the other hand, believe that Jay is a romance addict who will charm/worm his way into your home, bed, checkbook, vacations, family, business, mind & heart. He might even have you pay him to work around the house so that you let him live w/you at no cost to him. Then, once he is finally bored w/you, he will say nothing, nor try to work things out. Rather, he will simply begin to retreat emotionally, meanwhile torque you for yrs. or mos., ensuring/ensnaring his access to regular sex. Yet, when he finds his Ms. Next [or Mr. Next..depending] his axe will fall on you, he WILL NOT TELL you who your “replacement” is. No. He will DENY that someone else entered the picture, as much as ONE YR. before he leaves you, then will walk away like you 2 were never an item. I think he is the kind who will be “in love” w/anyone that will stick around long enough to find out he is about nothing, not sincere, a coward w/out backbone or scruples..MENTALLY UNSOUND, a very slick/sick boy. I honestly believe that the next woman is a SITTING DUCK, that he will try to destroy the self esteem of any woman & that he will take the next woman/women after me for everything she/they has/have earned in her/their life/lives as his, that he will suck the life energy out of her/them, as he did to me. I believe he is probably still an undercover DL guy & undercover pornaholic, that his “gentle/kind” ways/approach are just phases to his ends means & his inevitable plan to destroy you, that he will continue to rationalize his misdeeds & shift blame onto the women w/whom he gets involved. I believe he is a satyromaniac, his main objective to usurp your income/skills & break you down into a nonthinking subservient robot, just so he can promise the next female he plans to brainwash/gaslight, w/out you noticing. My opinion: Jay sings beautiful love songs that you will wish he could live up to, but he HAS A DARK HEART, is an abandoner w/out reason/shame, a shiftless drifter who will “park” his life in yours for as many yrs. he needs to, to “get back on his feet”..but he WILL be done w/you, sooner or later, w/out discussion/hesitation. Once he has used you to the max for his myriad purposes, he will stop hiding his cruel nature that he hid for yrs. Your emotional pain will be pesky to him .. like sand in a oyster shell to a wanna~be pearl, he will be/feel stuck, irritated. He will want your friends [if you have any left..if he has not destroyed all your networks!] & family to clean up the mess he made of your life, after he felt entitled to destroy the one you built together since he “fell in love” w/whoever. He will JUSTIFY his behavior, use that rationale.. his own sick mind, as to why he abandoned his exes. If you do not think that his past is the PREDICTOR of his future behavior, YOU HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED! You will be in REAL DEEP before he drops the axe. Read “Emotional Abusers” by Natalie P., http://heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/emotional_abuse.shtml , then you might know the various forms of emotional abuse I think Jay dealt me, & probably dealt others before me.

4/14/2012 3:05:20 PM - I am guessing that, even had any relatives of Jay known about whether or not Jay had sex w/his gay male cousin [as Jay told me he had, Jay said he was age 12 & said his cousin, Paul was around age 15], he/she/they probably could not do anything, even if they knew, because, legally, in most states, it requires sex offenders to be 10 or more years older than their victims to be prosecuted for statutory rape or incest. This sickens me, as I feel certain that, across years, Jay has reenacted his childhood sexual abuse/molestation or “revisited it” upon his adult sexual female partners, and I did NOT feel comfortable, after all his gay male porn purchashing/viewing, when he got two young boys, under age 10, in Manassas, to rake leaves with him, in our back yard. And yes, I have a photo of him with those boys, in front of our former Manassas home. It also made me uncomfortable when he said he wanted to give talks about rocks/gems to a nursery school nearby, and/or give the school posters or rock samples so the children “could learn” .. sorry, but that just seemed strange to me, for a 40+ year old man to want to do something like that! It also bothered me when, after he & I had dined at a Manassas restaurant, where a solo pianist performed, days, months or less than a year later, when I mentioned returning to that restaurant, to hear that guy play again [his first or last name was Dillon], Jay told me that the guy was a child molester. I wondered..HOW DID JAY KNOW THAT? It was MY MISTAKE, consenting to even date a guy who had a JUVIE RECORD [before Jay, I knew better..only consented to date MEN, not BOYS, who had their sh*t together..who had decent work histories] or careers. It will be YOUR MAJOR MISTAKE, TOO, IF YOU DO NOT HEED MY WARNING! Moreover, when he told me about his childhood sexual experience with his cousin, Paul, he seemed to have passed it off as child"s play..like it was blàsé to him..empty of any emotion AT ALL about that experience. In retrospect, years and years after we two were done, I wondered if he was testing me in some way, to see what my reactions would be. Creeped me out. I wondered, years later, if he was not conducting some Pavlov"s Dog experiment on me..you know..the old Bait and Switch.., as if, if I did not react the "correct" way to his childhood story, I would not be "worthy" later..ALMOST AS IF HE EXPECTED ME TO HAVE A PH.D. IN PSYCHOLOGY or be a shrink. No kidding.

6/28/2012 12:58:15 PM - See also all three profiles about Melinda Yalom, aka Melinda Carol Yalom, on datingpsychos.com, three parts of the whole story, but pay particular attention to PART III [plug in the last name, Yalom, and you will find all three parts, with the URL ending in the number, 9929. Now, in some states, it is ILLEGAL to KNOWLINGLY have sexual intercourse with someone known to have DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES, so I hope Melinda experiences KARMA sooner than later, because I sincerely still believe that Jay has DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES THAT WILL NOT CHANGE OR IMPROVE! I also have met two women, in the last 15 years who are each diagnosed schizophrenics, and you would have NEVER KNOWN they were diagnosed as such, before they told you about their diagnoses. They were each pleasant, friendly, seemed to make friends easily...but neither one of them could hold a job for very long. And Jay seemed to go through jobs like others change their underwear when he lived with me..taxi driving, telemarketing he said, for less than a month working in a music store he said, for 3 months or less odd jobs, painting/carpentry/dry wall..mostly for FEMALE clients, I might add. I stand corrected again, I think Jay and Melinda stil live in Chevy Chase. Last known address for them is on Aragon Lane. See http://www.whitepages.com/name/Melinda~C~Yalom/Chevy~Chase~MD/5hguynb?site_id=15277 and I think a relative, Abraham Yalom, lives in Silver Spring, MD, so Melinda also might be in that city from time to time.

10/28/2012 1:31:07 PM - Please also read profile on Ed Rejuney on datingpsychos.com .. some details in that post might be repeated from here, but it might give readers more perspective on what REALLY went down, between Jay Brown and me. See also the profile on EVERETT RAYMOND BROWN JR. on http://datingpsychos.com/psycho/16097/
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Date Survey Submitted: 1/26/2011 9:43:43 AM
Last known residence: Chevy Chase  Maryland, United States
Dating Site Alias & Website it's on: "Junior" on
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