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Guy Details for  George Randolph Hopper

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This Man is MARRIED. He lies. He claims to have been separated for 6 years or longer. He says he is in need of borrowing whatever you can offer to get through a rough spot, but then fails to remember the loan, or tries to say you "gave" it to him. No one put a gun to your head, so you must have given it to him. He's good at his game. He preys upon women who are good God fearing women, and claims to be himself. He can quote the Bible to you, but does not seem to believe the commandments on adultery, stealing and covenanting apply to him. Beware of him, he charms with his charismatic personality. He is 6'1 about 220 pounds, maybe more or less. He has waist length dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and missing a front tooth. He claims to be Cherokee Indian, was raised in Europe and did not come back to the states until his high school years. He is a convicted felon, per him and records that have been verified. He says he is a contractor or has a handyman service. Women sexually harass him when he is trying to work, so rarely is he able to finish a job due to the conditions the women put him under when he works. Could be a sociopath, or shows personality traits that mimic a sociopath. His wife knows that he cheats on her. She has talked to some of the women that he has cheated on. He has promised that his temper is very violent and she has verified this. He will contact you from a random IM on AOL, or Yahoo. Tell you that you are beautiful. Your eyes or smile have captured his attention, you are "pure beauty". He refers to himself as having a spirit of a wolf and will in time ask you to expose yourself to him if you have a cam. If you refuse he will act hurt and that you don't care for him. He tells you that the "wolf" is hungry and you need to feed it...he will tell you he loves you. He as done this without ever meeting women face to face. There are several women from AK, to NC where he was last known to be that have been taken for thousands of dollars. He may say he just left AK, but has been in the state of NC for over a year now. He goes by Randy Hopper
= Totally Disagree
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3/26/2008 10:58:00 AM - Great! So we all know that he looks like this picture. He is bad news when it comes to telling the truth. His cute dimples will get the doors to open for him but beware he will also take you for loans he has yet to prove he will ever repay.

3/26/2008 12:40:09 PM - Exactly! Ladies if he asks to borrow he may as well put a gun to your head it will be the same as if he is a thief since he will never repay or his promises to repay are about as useless.

3/26/2008 4:13:09 PM - Oh without a doubt he IS the best at his GAME getting women to fall for him not telling them he is married borrowing money and saying he will repay and forgetting all about those promises...I agree he is the BEST! The best man I know at conning money from women by telling us how much he loves us and wanted to spend the rest of his life with each of us...the best at staying just outside of the law so he isnt picked up and tossed back into a cell.

3/30/2008 7:13:08 AM - Tax time is here wonder how the IRS would consider the LOANS he has not repaid? Would they like to know about all that "INCOME"? Maybe a few calls should be made since the upstanding citizens of this fair nation do pay their fair share of taxes. Should a con man who earns his living from unsuspecting women be any different? Think about this? Could it be something so simple as making a phone call?

3/30/2008 12:03:44 PM - You are correct I have read that IF you can not get the local police departments involved with this the next best place to go is the IRS because they will go after any money they feel is due them. So ladies get out your proof and give them a call. Should be an interesting month!

3/30/2008 4:21:48 PM - What is forgiveness? There's no one definition of forgiveness. But in general, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you. This can reduce the power these feelings otherwise have over you, so that you can a live freer and happier life in the present. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Doesn't forgiving someone mean you're forgetting or condoning what happened? Absolutely not! Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting what happened to you. The act that hurt or offended you may always remain a part of your life. But forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness also doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.

3/31/2008 12:47:12 PM - (3) Local law enforcement agencies are usually under pressure if wealthy or politically powerful individuals are involved, so include state and federal agencies as well and tell the locals that you have. In my own experience, one agency that can help in a pinch is the Criminal Investigation Division of the Internal Revenue Service or (in Canada) Victims Services at your local police unit. It is not easy to think of the IRS as a potential friend, but a Swedish study showed that malignant types (the Swedes called them bullies) usually commit some felony or other by the age of twenty. If the family is wealthy, the fact may never come to light, but many felonies involve tax evasion, and in such cases, the IRS is interested indeed. If large amounts of money are involved, the IRS may solve all your problems for you. For obvious reasons the Drug Enforcement Agency may also be an appropriate agency to approach. The FBI is an important agency to contact, because although the FBI does not have jurisdiction over murder or assault, if informed, they do have an active interest in any other law enforcement agencies that do not follow through with an honest investigation and prosecution should a murder occur. Civil rights are involved at that point. No local crooked lawyer, judge, or corrupt police official wants to be within a country mile if that comes to light! It is in such cases that wealthy psychopaths discover just how firm the "friends" they count on to cover up for them really are! Even some of the drug cartel biggies will scuttle for cover if someone picks up the brick their thugs hide under. Exposure is bad for business.

3/31/2008 2:30:16 PM - Canceled debts. If a debt you owe is canceled or forgiven, other than as a gift or bequest, you may have to include it in income. Refer to Publication 525, Taxable and Nontaxable Income, for exceptions and exclusions. You may also refer to Publication 908 (PDF), Bankruptcy Tax Guide.

3/31/2008 2:31:57 PM - So for those of you whom have forgiven him his debt you need to either file a GIFT Tax form for him or by law he may need to report it as income. The law.

3/31/2008 2:50:37 PM - Canceled Debts Generally, if a debt you owe is canceled or forgiven, other than as a gift or bequest, you must include the canceled amount in your income. You have no income from the canceled debt if it is intended as a gift to you. A debt includes any indebtedness for which you are liable or which attaches to property you hold. If the debt is a nonbusiness debt, report the canceled amount on Form 1040, line 21. If it is a business debt, report the amount on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) (or on Schedule F (Form 1040), Profit or Loss From Farming, if the debt is farm debt and you are a farmer).

3/31/2008 2:56:41 PM - People who are HONEST who pay taxes and live by the laws that citizens have voted in usually do not have to be too concerned. But when you lie to people to obtain money for personal gain... women need to know where their rights are. If this does not apply to you? Then I doubt you have given the man over 12k.

3/31/2008 5:50:46 PM - You are SO correct! It is a desperate attempt to protect women from someone as obsessive as this man. He is one who goes to ridiculous levels to get money from women. His lies have made it a neccesity to let others know. The IRS gets more than its fair share however upstanding citizens pay taxes. Education is a valuable tool.

4/2/2008 5:08:52 AM - He is deserving of anything that befalls him if he continues to lie. Just open your eyes and ears believe what you may. Actions will scream louder than any of his words.

4/3/2008 2:59:35 AM - Thank you for policing the site. What would we ever do without you? Just seems to me that the information that has been posted by those trying to get the word out on this person has been above board. Those that want it removed will post what they may so that the things will be removed. General information and opinions are all our right per the freedom of speech right we were given many many years ago. So keep in mind that we are here to let others be warned of the behavior of one George Randoplh Hopper (Randy Hopper). He lies he is married and he borrows money by saying he is down on his luck and needs help. When you ask him to start repaying he becomes ugly and tries to make you feel badly for asking for what he had agreed to repay. Mainly the pattern is set that he borrows and moves on to the next victim...not a bad living if you can find plenty of willing women to put faith in you. So be warned ladies he is a con preying on good women who want to believe him. IF only he would remember he has a wife already... she is not crazy or emotionally unstable as he has said and she and he will not divorce. As long as one is married they can not testify against each other.... make sense?

4/3/2008 3:05:48 AM - The man is the type if you give an inch he will devour a mile. A dime a thousand...when he is told NO his whole personality changes... he gets angry finds fault with you and tries to make you feel that you have denied him what he may feel is his. Has he apologized to you and told you he would make good on the money he borrowed? Many have heard this how many have actually been repaid any where close to what he borrowed. Does he laugh and tell you that HE never borrowed CASH? That you can NOT prove you gave that to him? Your word against his? Well goodness gracious selective memory...threats...emotional stress... appears to me he has read the book on being a bully too!

4/3/2008 3:06:52 PM - Not sure who has posted any phone numbers... as I was unable to find any. Maybe someone is playing jokes on you? As far as reading womansavers policies.. I have read... I do read its a pasttime that I thoroughly enjoy. I find very interesting things when I read...Learning is such a wonderful tool.

4/4/2008 4:36:45 AM - So the phantom poster is at it again? Hit and delete? Seems that has been happening quiet often. The information that was asked for when filling out the site was all asked for by Womansavers.com rest assured no one posted illegally according to what was asked when this site was set up. As this is to warn women about men who find it necessary to lie to them to get them to "be" with him. Many would never have given in a second look had we been informed he was married...and he surely would not have been allowed to borrow and such had we KNOWN his intent was to scam money from us and not marry us has he had so promised. Makes the I love yous sooo cheap knowing he was married the whole time trying to and suceeding in conning women from their assets tsk tsk tsk... not playing pretty Randy!

4/4/2008 4:39:30 AM - OR could this have been HIS own doing so as to try to get the site closed... dont think he enjoys risking any new conquest finding out what he does...as he may live wondering when the "hammer" will fall with her...and her.. and her...

4/6/2008 6:34:44 PM - I will always be there babe You can count on me I will not let you down I am a man of MY word. IF I tell you I will do it then I will... SO PAY ME!

4/7/2008 5:49:39 AM - A MAN WHORE is the correct name. Yes he will do whatever it takes to get money from women. He would rather stoop low and steal than to be a man and stand up for what is right. Does he know right from wrong? Better yet does the man care what is right? I doubt he has a bone in his body that cares. Keep in mind if you have money or do not but can give him money whatever you have he will take. A man of his word? Not likely since he has not made good on repaying anyone what he owes them. Two Months? Is almost up... No one and I mean NO ONE has seen a dime. Just another ploy on his part to buy time and move somewhere else. Set himself up with another harem of women maybe? One day his body will fail them then what? Certainly hope he is stashing back some cash somewhere for his retirement! He has taken ours!

4/10/2008 11:24:33 AM - 0 Km 5 Photos Replied: 100% 1. Randy Hopper (profile...) Location: United States, North Carolina, Union Grove Basics: Male, 49, Carpenter/writer, Maybe has Couch Mission: my mission: for now just to breath Last Login: Jan 22 Languages: English (United States)Exp, FrenchBeg, GermanInt, ItalianInt About: Description: "6ft1 220lbs Native American, Cherokee, on my mothers side. Born in Virginia, raised and educated in Europe. Returning to the states in my teens."

4/11/2008 11:08:30 AM - Tax day approaches...it will catch up with you, know that one day the IRS will be knocking ON your door.

4/11/2008 3:54:47 PM - Laughing.... oh yeah? I KNOW differently!

4/11/2008 3:59:29 PM - Bless his Little Heart...

4/12/2008 11:51:56 AM - Does he laugh and tell you that HE never borrowed CASH? That you can NOT prove you gave that to him? I CAN PROVE THAT I GAVE HIM MONEY. I HAVE CHECKS WITH HIS NAME ON IT. AND IM STILL WAITTING TO GET MONEY FROM HIM,(TRUST ME BABE I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU...that is what he would tell me ever time i gave him money when he ask for it.) IM STILL WAITTING RANDY! TAKE CARE OF ME NOW~~~~~

4/12/2008 12:58:10 PM - That makes him a man whore, correct? But there was never mention of money when he "made LOVE" to us. It was only when he was away from us that he needed money, for food, for gas, for power...phone minutes. The man played on sympathies, because we did love him. He is a con. Nothing else, until he start paying his own bills and shows that he's trying, no one will ever have reason to call him anything but a con. Sad that such a waste of man has to be this low...I've hurt my back, had to have surgery, any lie he could think of to get money from women... HOW many helped pay for the vet bill when Rihannon was sick... 3 or 4? Sad when you profit from the loss of your best "woman".

4/13/2008 12:21:21 PM - Know that the women who have been conned by Randy, do not want him back, we have no need for someone in our lives who will lie to us and hurt us. We were hurt the first time, because we trusted... there is no reason to trust him again. He had no regard for the love any of us had for him, it was a game to him so he could decide which is the best woman for him. The best woman Randy, is your wife who's stood by you the whole time. Takes a lot of love for her to hear all this about you and still be with you. So stop, love her and be thankful there is ONE who will stand by you.... oh yeah.. and pay UP!

4/13/2008 7:30:45 PM - He is the best at NOT Keeping his word, remember Randy all the times you would say... "I am a man of my word?"....Well, it is time to step up and be a man, a man who knows what being a man of his word actually means. Do you even have a clue how many women you've "screwed" out of money???

4/16/2008 4:14:28 PM - Hear this: Take this to your soul: Your Sociopath thinks about you the SAME WAY we all think about toilet paper. Its aTOOL we USE to wipe our ass….. That is what any human being is (sorry to be so blunt) to a sociopath

4/16/2008 7:40:10 PM - 4/16/2008 6:12:28 PM - can you say. too much time on your hands? SEEMS YOU ARE JOHNNY ON THE SPOT WITH YOUR COMMENTS, DO YOU POLICE THE SITE 24-7? George is a sick man, he's conned women, and there are enough of us to say he has. Defend him and when he breaks your heart...YOU will understand, a Sociopath can not love...women, family and friends are like ITEMS he has, things he tries to control...when he can not control them, he starts with trying to discredit them. He's playing totally into the routine of a true sociopath. I hope he is sick of seeing the destruction he's left, the money he's "stolen", the things he's not taken responsibilities for. He's made threats to see us all again, face to face, some are scared, why? Most sociopaths are cowards when it comes to making good on promises... so maybe his time is running short, the loans he's promised to have paid back in a couple months aren't happening, because all he was doing was buying more time...I'd be scared, if I were him...not scorned women...women who are tired of his lying...and who can put him back in prison, if they band together. He's tried the divide and conquer...now he's attacking us each at a time? Anyone who loves a sociopath will learn, they want to believe the good that they can see in this person. Only problem is, they can and won't change. So with all the time you have on YOUR hands policing the site...do yourself a favor and educate yourself.

4/16/2008 8:08:46 PM - Did any of you try to break it off with him? He didn't want you to, he said don't do this to me...I don't want to KNOW if you see someone else...Isn't that ironic, since he was seeing so many all at the same time. It was fine for him but he wanted US to remain true to him. Sociopaths need to control.

4/17/2008 3:41:44 AM - 4/16/2008 9:59:52 PM - My education is fine thank you. I never gave money to a man. I never even met this guy. I just think it's kind of funny how some women spend their time. Must mean you have nothing better to do with your time than to look up the word sociopath and pin it on some guy it sounds like used you. I would think of finding better things to do with my time than spend it online "warning" women about the man who broke your heart. Look up the word gullible while you are at it. This site is so funny. This guy gets more hits than anybody else. But it only sounds like a few women are doing the complaining. Thats nuts. SO ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ COMMENTS ON A MAN'S PROFILE, COMMENT ON HOW HE GETS THE MOST HITS, YET YOU SAY, WE HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON OUR HANDS? pointing fingers? hmmmmmm...you say you don't know him, you never gave him money, is this a hobby? So unless you are trying to expose him, so he is not getting money from other women, or you are trying to get your money from him, explain to WHY you'd care? I suspect you are trying to be his champion, his warrior, is angel? Keep thinking YOU will make a difference. Gullible does NOT change the fact he STOLE, a thief is a thief is a thief. And no hearts are still bleeding for him, they are healed and we only want what he took, you know that green stuff about six inches long, that he uses to spend on his selfish self.....pssst... join us in getting a life, we have... at 85 wpm, it doesn't take long to dash off a few lines!

4/17/2008 7:13:06 PM - I know of at least 10 woman he has con, has broken there hearts and took there money. All we want is the money he borrowed.

4/18/2008 9:01:37 AM - There were some that were as true to him as he was to them...guess those women are the wiser ones. I was true (faithful), but when I felt something wasn't right, the closeness wasn't there, I asked, should we move on and apart...I was assured "we" were fine, we'd be together until we were old and God called one of us home...Guess he meant that, since he's always going to be with me as long as he owes money! You want us to go away Randy?,...then make good on your word to repay... then you can go about your merry way...Hopefully, you will learn from all of this, but not sure you will ever see how WRONG you are in hurting women, you steal their hearts, destroy their finances, and then your cowardly butt just ups and disappears...a gentleman bandit? nawwwww...A selfish man who only wants what he wants when he wants it, like a kid in a candy store... the internet offers you too many choices, too many women and too many opportunities to play out your con. BUT there will come a time, through continuous efforts that this will be considered a "crime"...and men or women running it will be brought to justice. Smile now, enjoy it while you can, your days of free rein on here will one day come to a close.

4/18/2008 12:16:55 PM - Yes.. you are probably correct, He or people who are internet predators will never go away, as long as there are people who want to believe there are good in all people, as long as there are trusting people... and as long as he is allowed to get by with what he's done.

4/18/2008 7:45:47 PM - He's finally found himself a compulsive, obsessive woman!

4/19/2008 2:39:47 AM - Great! Now if this keeps up, he'll for sure stay in the top 10 most commented on men, and without a doubt more and more women will be warned about him! Immaturity sometimes does work for the better of all, and by being emotionally immature, he is able to control and have YOU believe in him. It's the perfect women for him to "snow" into believing he loves YOU. Thank you for proving the point as to WhY you do love him, no one had to put you down, you did all the work all by your little self missy!

4/19/2008 2:45:45 AM - Oh, and unless you ARE his wife, keep in mind he LOVES her.

4/19/2008 3:40:11 AM - "4/18/2008 5:21:04 PM - I believe in him. He knows that." GOOD FOR YOU, BECAUSE UNTIL HE DIDN'T GET IS WAY AND SHOWED US HIS TRUE COLORS...we believed in him too.

4/19/2008 2:47:20 PM - Come to think of it you are correct 110%, bend her over and drive her home... now why do you think he loved to have pictures of SOMEONE's back side? Fantasy!! all a Fantasy!

4/19/2008 2:47:38 PM - p.s. yes he is good verrrrry good

4/19/2008 2:55:44 PM - Emotionally distrubbed people are "special", and are given the benefit of the doubt until they prove they do not want help.. in which case.. they should just go back to being quiet and not opening their mouth. You can count on their word about as much as you can count on Chatty Cathy talking when you pull her string. Bottom Line is George Randolph Hopper is a con man! He still steals.. he has no morals and he pitches fits when he doesn't get his way I love it ....sooo these sites of HIS will be # 1 and # 2! Keep talking add those comments and soon everyone will be reading the saga of Mr. Hopper! He'll LOVE YOU FOR THAT!

4/19/2008 3:25:08 PM - NOT a problem.. like we have said time and time again... HAVE HIM, he has nothing we want except the money he stole... he's a theif... when it comes to the promises he's made with repaying what he owes... LOVE him.. Gosh knows someone needs to love him.

4/20/2008 3:07:01 PM - OH.... the one that is gone in thirty seconds?

4/21/2008 8:54:38 PM - 4/21/2008 11:57:58 AM - If you do a search on Titles & Escrow - you will find out that Randy owns property in the State of VA along with family members. A lien can be placed against any of his property holdings. The property cannot be sold until the liens placed against it are satisfied. Also liens are subject to interest also. I don't think any family member would be happy to have any lien placed against their property that can accrue interest. Just a thought about a means to recoop your losses from this man. You might want to look at other assets he has, especially in the state of NC. Might be surprised at what this man has and has not disclosed.

4/21/2008 9:22:30 PM - The family owned a beach house on the outter banks of NC, they were to have sold it according to him a year ago, He was to have gotten a check for his share of the work he did. Made a big to do about having to go to Mom's at Easter (07) to get his check...he said it was for $3k... I would betcha he lied about the amount...but not sure how to find him to put a lien on anything... anyone know which rock he's residing under?

4/24/2008 9:43:13 AM - Don't bother running the tags on the truck, they are registered to Shari. He's yet to get the insurance in his name, or her off the title.

4/25/2008 11:36:46 AM - Yeah Randy....why don't you just do that? Would be nice if you stepped up and took responsibility for your "mistakes" Oh but that would mean you getting a driver's licenses that would have an address on it, other than AK, and you are too "private" for that, one of your women may learn you are hiding your wife!

4/25/2008 3:26:25 PM - Personally? NOPE, he is all talk. He will say he's a man of his word, but that is about useless... Give up on seeing anything... he promised two months, yeah right...Maybe V will get hers for her 50th! Wouldn't that be a pleasant surprise?... BUT I am sure she won't take it, it would make her appear to be too much like the rest of us fine upstanding "ladies"... besides he's told all of us as soon as he can repay her he will never have anything to do with her again, after the way she stalked him...forgiveness.. that would really be one to see.

4/26/2008 10:13:09 AM - IF ONLY, I had known about this site before I met this man, but since I did not, I will say that yes, he is married, yes, he lies, and NO, I don't believe he's sorry for anything he's done. IF he were, he'd not be talking about making it right. HE would be trying to right the wrongs. He'd accept that he is the ONE with a problem and he'd do all within his power to show that he is sorry. HAS he? NO

4/28/2008 8:41:53 PM - I'M WITH YOU, I JUST DON'T THINK THERE WAS A SITE ABOUT HIM BEFORE I MEET HIM.BUT I KNOW THERE WERE MORE WOMAN BEFROE ME.AND I TO WISH I KNEW WHO HE REALLY WAS BEFORE I GOT IN TO DEEP WITH HIM. AND AT LEAST WITH YOU HE ACCEPT THAT HE HAS A PROBLEM, AND IS HE DOING ALL WITH IN HIS POWER? IM WITH YOU ON THAT TO. NO HE IS NOT. HE NEEDS TO DO MORE THAN WHAT HE IS DOING. LIKE PAYING ALL OF US OFF. NO MATTER IF IT IS A FEW DOLLARS HERE OR THERE AT LEAST SOMETHING.ANYTHING WOULD HELP US OUT AS WE HELP HIM.

4/29/2008 9:09:23 AM - When a man can not see the error of his ways, he can not admit to being wrong, then, he can not be forgiven for simply saying I am sorry. Especially if his actions do not show that he is sorry for doing what he's done. Do any of you who have posted believe that we have purposebly set out to destroy this man? Or do you feel we have only set this up to warn others? My personal opinion is that IF I can keep one woman from losing all that I have lost, then it has been worth the efforts. For those who feel this is revenge? Then they have totally misunderstood the purpose of writing about the "games" he played with my heart and with my head to gain the things he has from me. He says he never sat and premediated the things he's done? Well, with the number of women who have been "played", I suppose then it has become second nature. I just know that I trust until given a reason not to. When I found out he was seeing someone else and married, then I no longer wanted anything to do with him. He came on to me after that and I pushed him away. Yet in his mind, I am the one who will not turn him loose? Yeah right, the trust and the truth of this will come out. He knows as well as I do what happened.

4/29/2008 5:52:45 PM - For me it has been to warn other women. The more voices heard from more women the more believeable. If it was only one woman then I could assume it was an issue between that man and that woman. That there are many women posting similiar stories makes it a pattern of behavior that will not change. If any woman believes she will be different she is in denial. What ever he thinks he is doing in the beginning is irrelevant, the result is the same. I would not try to get answers from a person who lies. Why? Because he can is the bottom line.

4/30/2008 2:22:49 AM - I have to wonder about all the times he told me he was so stressed because he didn't have the money to pay his bills, the times I helped him, and now when the time has come to repay them, he tries to make it once again all about him being down, working seven days a week, yet where is all the money going? Is he paying bills that we were all helping with? Is he paying people back what he said he would? Not here! Oh, Happy 50th today V! Hope you have a great year.

4/30/2008 9:32:00 AM - Collect all your receipts or proof that you loaned him money, and take it to the magistrate in the city which you live. You can call them and find out exactly what you need to do to file a law suit against him. Then you'll need to find him so that the legal authorities can serve him. If he is served, then you and he will go to court and a judge will make a ruling as to if you get anything, or if it is his word against yours. This is sometimes referred to as "sweetheart fraud". If you can show a pattern of him doing this, the judge may agree with you and award you a settlement. Then comes the fun part, collecting IF you are awarded the money he's borrowed. You could hire a private detective to find him and you may also do something called an asset-property search. IF he has property, you can put a lien against any property he has. The property then can not be sold until the lien is paid. I hope this helps you.

5/2/2008 5:52:26 PM - That is a pic of he and his bonnie bride Allison...since there were some who seemed to believe she was not real. Cute isn't she? Handsome couple...Handsome MARRIED couple...twenty years give or take... lots of forgiving and lots of secrets...would guess that pic was taken sometime late august or early sept of 07.

5/3/2008 1:12:28 AM - I typ in his name and got nothing on peepsheet.com just how do I typ in his name to see what is on there.

5/3/2008 6:00:04 AM - Name and city, try statesville, nc

5/3/2008 9:28:01 AM - nooooo... Union Grove, or Harmony NC. Heck who the heck knows where he is!?! But granted he's still spinning yarns!

5/5/2008 5:05:14 AM - He's on the prowl... needing money?... needing attention?... beware Ladies...stay on your Toes! He'll be back! Ringing you up to see if you can help him. Be a MAN Randy, get a real job, go to work, know what it feels like to have PRIDE in earning what you want, and stop lying around being a bum, playing video games and relying on the goodness of women to support you...NO ONE but YOU put YOU in this situation.....Don't point fingers at the women who now refuse to help you, they didn't put you here.

5/7/2008 10:17:35 AM - Does this man have a clue how much money he's borrowed and from how many women? Or does he just borrow to fulfill his need and never thinks twice about the consequences? I'd say he's found a pretty good business, IF it were legal! He'll argue that money loaned between friends is fine, but then when the "friends" ask for it back, he disappears and refuses to repay...that then becomes stealing in most people's mind.

5/8/2008 8:16:10 AM - I totally do not agree with anything any of the blogs are saying. He is the most kind, loving, and honest person I have ever known. He has never borrowed money or even asked for any. Maybe you willingly give him gifts and when he wanted out of the relationships you blackmailed him to stay. I think this is mean and you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to degrade this wonderful man.

5/8/2008 9:14:50 AM - Blackmailed HIM? Someone wake this person UP! He's exactly as you say, until you can't give him what he needs, or your money dries up, then he's the one who becomes verbally violent! The one who accusses you of doing this to him. Did YOU contact him? He found us, made us believe that he was in love with us, and we loaned him money on good faith that he'd keep his word, as he's constantly said, he is a man of his word and he'd repay. Degrade Him? So you read blogs? Which ones do you read? OR is this the man himself trying to keep the drama going? Ashamed? Well yes, I am ashamed to say I was ever fooled into believing a word that came out of his mouth. Oh Yeah, and he totally failed to tell me he was married, kept that from me until after he'd borrowed, then said he was separated for years and it was a matter of paper work. Uh huh... believe him, you'll learn soon enough.

5/8/2008 3:14:15 PM - Why? Because he is a good CON MAN, he is very good, that is why we are here to warn women. He wants us off of here, because if any of the new women check on him, they are learning of his game. So why shouldn't the truth be told? Tell us Randy the way you see it, because there are more of us telling it all ONE way, you lie.... you covered up the fact you were married and You have not made good on any thing you said you would. Other than running your mouth, what have you done? Learn that YOUR words are worthless! You loved the attention you were getting, you played the women, and when you were caught, now you are trying to play the victim. Think again.

5/13/2008 4:26:10 PM - New reading Ladies... www . love fraud. com Lots of interesting reading on sociopaths... the more I read, the more I see this man is fitting the pattern of a sociopath. I hope this helps explain some of the mood swings.

5/15/2008 11:51:32 AM - Never Never Land...too bad He lies sooo well that he has her believing him.

5/15/2008 6:55:20 PM - Where or where did Little V learn to lie so well? She contacted every one of us...hunted each of US down and made sure we all knew about each other and NOW she's trying to say it was all Shari who did.. tsk tsk tsk... Vivian.. You dont lie?...Let me see you had Lynn's Numbers, found her on myspace within a matter of minutes, you had Judy's #, you went ape shit when she sent someone other than YOU a message.. You are a genuine stalker! do you understand that God is hearing what you are saying.. no need trying to make out to be an angel... you stared this.. you've forgiven him.. but be woman enough to suck it up and tell the truth...Oh and for the record NO ONE IS JEALOUS THAT HE TALKS TO YOU, you see, we are all wise enough to realize if he cheated on ALL of us on his WIFE.. he's not worth our time.. So boo hoo all you want.. but YOU have lied to have him favor you...TELL HIM ALL YOU DID! how you were kicked off yahoo answers...how you were kicked off of Dont date him girl...how you were probably kicked off of Womansavers.. All because you never got your 30 seconds with a man who could care less... YES he talks about you like you were a piece of crap! And V.. HOW would I know all This??? Lie your fat stained ass out of that one! You V stalked each of us, you still do, I can't say anything that you don't try to make it all about YOU.. GET THIS... YOU ARE PITIFUL.. I FEEL ONLY PITY FOR YOU.. you HAVE no LIFE... EXCEPT FOR A FANTASY.. and maybe it is Randy who's posting that is driving you nutz.. OH but nooo you don't come to these sites... YOU LIE... I am calling you OUT. .DUHHHH.

5/15/2008 7:10:49 PM - Oh and another thing... when you want to know the truth about ME, Mr. Hopper, then you need to ask ME, not your watch dog.. she's so distorted she makes up what she'd love to be the truth. Yes, All you've told me about her being mentally unstable is coming to a head... She's lying through her teeth to keep you...SHE can have you, and one day, i'll have a tape recorder handy so that you V, can hear how much he loves you, when he's talking to one of the "fat bitches" as you fondly refer to us... awwww Alyson.. you have my sympathies!

5/16/2008 6:47:41 AM - Questions for all you Past Hopper Honeys... Tell if you will, just HOW you came to find out about all the rest of us. This should be an interesting way to show others HOW to keep warning. I was contacted by V, through yahoo 360, after she'd read my blog on Randy seeing someone else and lying to us both. S

5/18/2008 12:21:08 AM - "V" call me, and she knew I was involved with Randy.

5/18/2008 6:17:32 PM - I am still amazed that Randy Hopper believes it is okay to string women along, telling them of his love for each of them and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with them, growing old together, until God calls one of us home...Yeah I believed that, but when I found out he was still VERY MARRIED, and told him I was going to start dating, that upset him? Makes you wonder why? Such a double standard, that it is okay for him to screw or cyber with whomever, but he never wanted any of his harem to stray...tsk tsk tsk, double standards... Problem is Randy Hopper, that most of the women who loved you were geuinely faithful to your sorry piece of crap ass. Yeah, You hurt women, and I bet you are still doing it, without an ounce of remorse. Heartless is a terrible way to live a life... maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to really LOVE someone and understand what it feels like to have your heart ripped apart. Takes your breath away, makes you sick to your stomach, makes you want to never trust again, never love again... you are one sick puppy to be playing with emotions. Your day will come, count on that.

5/18/2008 6:23:33 PM - I have never done so with anyone I met on a dating site before, I googled him twice. The first time I found nothing. But the suspicious feeling lingered and a couple of months later - although at the time I asked myself why I was googling him a second time I still did and the second time I found this site and the ladies who had been conned by him.

5/19/2008 6:52:13 PM - To the one that googled him twice, do you know him and did he con you too?

5/21/2008 2:24:45 PM - How I met Randy, thru a friend to do some handyman work for me, now a former friend as,unbeknownst to me, he was still "dating" her, I asked several times what he felt for her, she replied, well, I am not going to say what he said, but I was reasured there were not seeing eachother. Then I googled him and found one of the "others" and she was contacted by another "other" and so on and so on. Randys mom, if she does not know, she will soon, as I DO have a letter almost ready to send to her, with the judgement I won last week in small claims court. Yes, I filed a small claims against him and won, no surprise there. I realize it is a moral victory only, but a victory all the same. IF he were ever to get a real job, one that he has to pay income tax, or if he were ever to step foot back in AK, I could go about getting repaid. I just do not see that happening, so will just have to be happy with the moral victory and to let you all know, you CAN do it too!! Go get him girls!

5/22/2008 1:49:05 PM - He seems to be excellent at not letting on that he's USED you all he cares to and has moved on, per your exfriend not knowing they were not together. He's a lying bum! Who uses women, for whatever gains he can. It would be nice if one day he would stand back and look at the heartbreak he's caused.

5/22/2008 7:57:29 PM - Him stand back and look at all the HEARTBREAK he has done.That is a joke.All Randy think's about is him self and how he feels, not what were feeling or going throw.

5/23/2008 4:19:01 AM - You are correct. He will never see the hurt, nor accept the amounts of monies he's borrowed.... he believes EVERYONE lies against him.

5/24/2008 9:38:07 PM - I was accused of being on this site and writing comments. so cent i was accused of it i though i would just write one. i have told people that i don't go here for i really don't want to get caught up in what is being said here about him.now i know some of it is true and some of it isn't. as for who i am im sure most of u know by now. Randy is a friend of mine and always will be. I do see the good side of him and he has always been nice to me. we meet when i need a friend. he was there for me as i have been there for him. and like some of u, yes i did lend him money,which some of it he has pay ed me back. i have no doubts that he will pay the rest in due time. we have had are bad times, but that is only because of one person. that person is now out of my life and i will have no more to do with this person.(His watch dog as i would call it) for this person likes to make trouble between us and others. (with there lies.) I know alot of u on this site wonder how i can still be a friend to him, and the answer is simply he is a friend and always will be. I don't want u to think that im like the person who likes to cause trouble for im not. this person lives in a fantasy world. I wrote this person an e-mail and about how i felt about them and this person though it was pretty mean of me. i told this person i was only telling them the truth of how i felt.this person put it on there yahoo 360 to share with all of u. I would have to say that this person is mean and not happy. to tell me thing that are not true and try to cause problems. im sure that i will here about this comment but as i said i was accused of being on here so im leaving one.

5/25/2008 3:56:25 AM - It has been evident that someone is posing as women he still talks to, makes up LIES and tries to get HIM to believe that his friends are saying things about him. I have to ask myself, whom amoung all the women I have met here would DO anythng to keep "Her" man that she's never had? Who would say and do thing and then accuse others of being "mean" to her? Duhhhh,...a space cadet? Well it didn't take this rocket scientist a whole lot of thinking to figure out. She'd do ANYTHING, fight for him to her death, Lie for him... gotcha! Loves to play her GAMES. Uh HUH....sounds like you have been a busy old watch dog!

5/26/2008 5:28:50 AM - After all these months of Mr. Hopper having been exposed...he must be feeling pretty darn sure of himself that he's able to still control some of his women. Some just never wake up and smell the coffee. He is still lying and still trying to control the thoughts and minds of a few. Women, if YOU continue to allow him to control you, You continue to buy him phone minutes, You continue to send him money... you are infact an enabler. So accept that You have made him into the man he is. And when he walks aways laughing at YOU once again, realize YOU are the one who let him.

5/26/2008 11:39:34 PM - I find it sad that as women who have been lied to by the same man we cannot join together in this warning of other women and let those who are in denial be to have her own opinion. It is sad that some have let this man divide us instead of bringing us together to take a stand against sociopaths in general and this man in particular.

5/27/2008 4:35:42 AM - Standing strong on my beliefs that this man is a con. I will keep telling anyone who will listen, as he will continue his routine to keep from having to maintain a real job. Jumping from job to job, not accepting tax papers, and lying will one day catch up with him. Saying he's separated from his wife when she leaves for work, does not mean it's a separation. His coy ways will come back to him. Let the one who believes his lies learn the hard way, ONCE again.

5/27/2008 5:01:47 AM - Read the following, I'll post it in sections since it is rather long. You can find more to read on their web site, but this one struck a note with me. I hope if you are in this role you are able to open your eyes before some sociopath wastes years of your life... Enjoy... Finding a real relationship after a sociopath Monday, 19 May 2008 @ 5:08am • My Weblog The following story was sent by the Lovefraud reader who comments under the name “LovingAnnie.” This woman—we’ll call her Annie—spent four years waiting for a relationship to materialize with a policeman who tantalized her with flattery and promises. Here’s what Annie wrote: Annie and the cop I called 9-1-1 for the first time in my life (a neighbor problem), and when I answered the door, my first thought on seeing him was, “wow—he is sooo cute.” We ended up talking for almost an hour and exchanging phone numbers. He told me he’d been a cop for almost 20 years, was divorced with two kids. That a few years after the divorce was final, he had a girlfriend who was also a police officer, but they had recently broken up because they saw life differently, and she drank too much. I’d see him every week or so when he was driving by, and he’d stop and chat for a while. He seemed such a perfect fit for me, and that we had so much in common. He was close to my age, so clean cut in lifestyle and appearance, liked to cook, liked to read, liked to exercise, had a great dry sense of humor, was politically incorrect and religiously indifferent, and we were physically attracted to each other as well. He called, but he wasn’t asking me out. I tried to play it cool, let things unfold slowly, with no pressure, but something just felt wrong. He’d ask me what I was wearing, talk about how he wanted to kiss my neck … He seemed so connected to me when we talked, and I loved talking to him about anything and everything, it was just comfortable and easy. But he didn’t try to see me off of work; there were no dates. It was frustrating but I didn’t want to be aggressive.

5/27/2008 5:04:05 AM - This went on for months. He’d call, tell me I was beautiful, sensuous, intelligent, loving, warm, giving, beguiling—and that he was sexually and emotionally scared of me. That he knew I wouldn’t hurt him, but he’d hurt himself. That I was dangerous, that he got flustered around me … And then he would disappear … For a month or two, and then come back, always smiling, always sweet. (It turns out he had never broken up with his girlfriend at all, and in fact, they were about to buy a house together.) But by that time I was hooked. I was so naive and hopeful and trusting, I believed every word he said. He was a cop, a good guy, he seemed so sincere and genuine … I thought he was really a nice guy and behaving himself, that he was waiting until they were broken up to do anything with me, being honorable. He told me he was fiercely loyal. This went on for 3 years … I’d only see him occasionally, but he always made it seem like if I’d just be patient, things would work between us. I’d try dating other people to get my mind off of him, and nothing ever worked out, so back to the policeman my thoughts would go … He’d cuddle me; we’d just sit on the sofa for an hour or two wrapped around each other like 16-year-olds who don’t go past second base … He’d always be obviously aroused, but didn’t try to have sex with me—again, I thought he was treating me with respect, and that meant I could trust him. He wasn’t cheating on his girlfriend, we were waiting until things were right and we could be together. He’d talk about how pissed off he would get at his girlfriend for passing out drunk, throwing up blood, going into rehab and then coming home and drinking again immediately, etc. I thought for sure by comparison I looked like a prize since I rarely drank. I was financially stable, didn’t have any kids of my own, and had no baggage with an ex-husband. I even told him that he could come live with me if he wanted to, and that I adored him. He said I was so open and he was so guarded … He’d tell me he drove my house three times a shift. (He was lying, he drove by once every three weeks.) I said, “If you know you aren’t ever going to break up with T, and you know you don’t want me for a girlfriend when you do, blow me off right now.” He didn’t. I said, “well, are you going to blow me off ?” And he said “no.” 

He told me he looked for me, that he was so happy when he saw me, that the chemistry was so thick it was tangible, that he couldn’t keep his hands off of me, that he was emotionally, intellectually and physically attracted to me but that he couldn’t act on it—YET. One of his friends told me that he was watching me when he was on the midnight shift, checking out my windows, (I live up on a hill and it is easy to see in from a street across the way) even spying on me with binoculars a few times to see what kind of life I led. Even though it would have creeped me out if another guy had done that, I felt like I had nothing to hide and I was flattered; I thought it really meant he wanted me, and when he was available, he’d have gotten his courage and his info. Together enough that we would be solid. He finally broke up with his girlfriend over her drinking, and then disappeared on me for five months. The same friend who had told me the other stuff told me that he was so stressed out about the bad real estate market, he was on the verge of foreclosure (even though he was working major overtime), depressed, not eating, and isolating himself. He had told me once he was borderline suicidal, so I got really scared. Behind his back, I paid his overdue property taxes, to try to help him out. When I finally called him and told him I was lonely and I missed him, he told me to “go work for habitat for humanity and that we hardly knew each other; that he wasn’t ready to date but when he was, there was a probation officer who was interested in him.” Then when I started to cry in pain, three years of hope now smashed in a minute, he told me I was guilting him and he hated it, and hung up on me.

5/27/2008 5:05:20 AM - He found about about me paying the property taxes and came to my house and was furious. I said I could cancel the charge on my credit card, and he said no, he’d pay me back when he got his income tax refund (he never made any attempt to pay me back) and he yelled at me, saying I had no right to control his life, and that he couldn’t trust me, I was acting obsessive. I was absolutely horrified—I’d really been trying to help, to do something loving and supportive when the chips were down that only a family member would do for someone. I hadn’t meant anything bad at all by it, and yet he took it that way. He told me I misread everything he’d ever said and done, that he was just being friendly. Then he stood at my door and told me that he had wanted to make love to me every night, that he had fantasized about me so often, wanting me every way a man can have a woman. I uncovered about a dozen lies after that … It seemed like he lied almost every time he talked to me. But I blamed myself. I thought if I hadn’t pushed him, if I’d just let him take the action instead of me, things would have worked out differently. He came back nine months later (my burglar alarm had gone off by mistake), and basically just totally played head games with me for six weeks, e-mailing instead of calling, telling me how aroused I made him but saying that his little voices were telling him to “run baby run …” Then he just stopped contacting me at all, although he still read my blog on the web twice a week for the next two months. We finally got in a huge fight one night and he told me that he was never going to ask me out, never have a relationship with me, and never have sex with me. I keep thinking everything is my fault. That maybe he really is a good solid decent guy and it was just me pushing that turned him off and made him go away. I don’t understand how he could have played me for three years if he didn’t mean it … After all, he was originally married for 10 years, and then later on after he was divorced had a girlfriend for six years, so clearly he has long-term relationships. Why aren’t I lovable? Why didn’t he value me? I’m still grieving and stuck, and thinking I lost out on Prince Charming, that something is wrong with me that he didn’t want me, didn’t want a relationship with me … It’s so seldom that I meet a man who seems so right for me, and I’m just devastated. I don’t recover or bounce back easily, and now I’m terrified that there is something really wrong with me not to have known all along he didn’t want me.

5/27/2008 5:05:57 AM - This cop likes power Sociopaths, as Dr. Liane Leedom says, want two things: power and sex. Some sociopaths—like this cop—want power more than sex, and are quite capable of withholding sex in order to assert power. That’s what this guy was doing. For him, it was all about the game. The cop was getting his jollies from knowing that Annie wanted him, adored him, loved him—and he could mess with her mind and emotions with his push-pull routine. With his little intrigue, he was satisfying his need for entertainment. That’s all Annie was. Entertainment. In a previous e-mail that Annie sent me, she wondered if this cop would treat another woman better. I’d say it’s extremely unlikely. Although he might actually go ahead and have sex with someone else, that woman will be used for entertainment and sex. There will be no love.

5/27/2008 5:06:52 AM - Waiting too long At the end of her story, Annie also expressed that she was afraid something wrong with her for not recognizing that the cop didn’t want her. That’s not quite the issue here. When I was single, I also spent quite a few years pining away for men who never showed up. I kept thinking if I gave them enough time, enough space, eventually they’d come around. It never worked. So did these guys want me? They seemed to, when they were around. But they did not come around enough for our interaction to advance to the point of being a relationship. Here is the issue: By waiting for them, I was not believing in myself. Annie did the same thing. She spent four years waiting for this cop. This particular guy was a sociopath, but that is almost beside the point. The point is that any relationship involves two people moving towards each other, step by step. If that is not happening, there is no relationship, and no point waiting around.

5/27/2008 5:07:40 AM - Fear and relationships I am not being critical of Annie. As I said, I did exactly the same thing. So why did I do it? Why did I hang in for these men who did not show up? Fear. I was afraid that there was nobody else and I would be alone. I could only think in terms of the men that I knew. I could not think in terms of men whom I hadn’t yet met. Fear also made me vulnerable for the sociopath, James Montgomery. When he rolled into my life with flattery and the promises, I fell for them. I noticed he was moving far too quickly, but it was a welcome relief from the men who didn’t show up at all. His agenda, I later learned, was manipulating me out of my money. He was also playing a game of keeping multiple women on a string at one time. Finding a real relationship The key to finding a real relationship, I believe, is overcoming fear and believing in ourselves. This is possible, even after a run-in with a sociopath. Many Lovefraud readers, having been victimized by a sociopath, have commented that they no longer trust themselves when it comes to relationships. This is fear still speaking. They are afraid they will be fooled and victimized again. We all know the devastation that comes from the encounter with the sociopath. Here’s what we all need to know and believe: Healing is possible. This seems unlikely while we’re in the midst of the turmoil, but it is true. Healing does, however, take time. It requires processing the emotional pain, re-establishing connections with the people who truly love and support us, and perhaps dealing with legal and financial consequences. But this can all be done. The devastation is a phase. An ugly phase, but a phase nonetheless. As we go through it, our goal should be to eliminate the fear and begin believing in ourselves. We now know what a sociopath looks like and how a sociopath behaves. We can come through this experience wiser, more in tune with our intuition, and with an open heart. Then everything—including a new and real relationship—will fall into place.

5/28/2008 3:33:44 PM - A true man of his word...yeah right!

5/29/2008 9:20:05 PM - KEEP HIM ON THE TOP 10 GIRLS,YOUR DOING A GOOD JOB.NOW OTHER WOMAN CAN KNOW JUST WHAT KIND OF A CON HE IS.

5/30/2008 10:13:47 AM - Selective memory serves him well.

6/3/2008 9:12:58 PM - HE IS FALLING ON THE TOP TEN WOMAN. ~~~~~

6/4/2008 2:41:34 PM - Oh Nooooo... he'll remain in the top 10... two accounts and he's there... combined he's more than over the top! Just keep putting the word out about how he cons and maybe we'll be able to save another woman from being taken!

6/4/2008 7:38:41 PM - I totally agree with you. May be he has change his ways. What do you think?

6/5/2008 4:13:56 AM - Has he repaid anyone? Honestly made an attempt to take responsibilities for his mistakes? Words are cheap, it takes actions to know when someone has changed, my guess would be NO, he's found someone new to con, and asking her to stay off the interenet, to not talk to others about him and if she has questions to ask only him, because we are all a bunch of stalkers that are put out because he wouldn't sleep with us. So IF by chance she does find him on here, know that he's lying, he did sleep with all of us except V, he did tell us he loved us, he did ask us to marry him, he is married, he did ask for "funds" to keep him from starving, freezing... whatever the "drama" was, and yes, I do believe he's still at it.

6/9/2008 5:21:19 PM - This man is a piece of work, he has charm, looks and stories to cause you to feel pity for him... nothing but the best for Randy Hopper, and he's telling women he LOVES them, get a grip, HE ONLY LOVES HIMSELF! And whatever he believes you can give him. If he's telling you he loves you, hang onto your checking account, your visa, your home depot, your cash, you dog! He'll take whatever he can! He's a theif!

6/10/2008 5:12:18 AM - Go to the Love fraud web site for more reading... This one I felt summed it up best, Am I the ONLY One Who Sees how Randy Hopper Has NO Compassion for any one? You are a means to a way for him to acquire what he does not feel he needs to work for. Sociopaths violate all human values Monday, 9 June 2008 @ 10:12am • My Weblog As part of my day job—writing scripts for web-based training programs—I came across some information developed by the Institute for Global Ethics. Surveys conducted worldwide have consistently identified a group of values that people of all cultures and nationalities recognize as essential. These universal values are: Honesty Responsibility Respect Fairness Compassion Sociopaths violate all of them. Perhaps that’s why those of us who are ethical, who care about others, who want to live cooperatively among our neighbors, feel so shaken after a collision with a sociopath. These predators take the qualities that people all over the world consider essential to the social contract and stomp on them, run them through a meat grinder and then pulverize them. But they don’t tell us what they’re going to do. (Or if they do, we think they can’t possibly be serious.) Instead, they mouth eloquent words about their loyalty, trustworthiness and caretaking. We believe the words. Eventually, however, we discover that the words are empty, and their behavior reveals their true attitude: To them, the universal values of humanity mean nothing. Then we, trying to extricate ourselves from the sociopathic relationship, lose our footing. We suspect that no one really cares about honesty, responsibility, respect, fairness and compassion. We were the only chumps who took these qualities seriously. The good news is that we were right in the first place—most people in the world do respect the universal values. As we heal from our traumatic experiences, we’ learn how to differentiate those who do from the sociopaths who don’t. one

6/10/2008 11:59:25 AM - Oh yeah, his business ~~~ ARC~~~ Another Randy CON! LOVE It! He named it appropriately! Keep it up GEORGE Randolph (Randy) Hopper, you'll meet a woman one day who you'll underestimate and she'll nail YOU. And when she does, the ones you've takened for love, money and dignity will rejoice.

6/11/2008 3:11:37 PM -

6/11/2008 3:15:45 PM - Just checking in to make sure someone is still posting that Randy Hopper is misleading women. He's Married, been so for 20 years. His poor wife, is she a saint? ~~~ or does she benefit as well? Kinda makes you wonder how someone could be with a man who takes from women and not know it? Guess maybe she CHOSES to ignore Him? Oh but he's supposed to be going to visit his Angel, wonder how that will go? What do you think of that MRS. Hopper? She told everyone she was YOUR friend! Some friend huh?

6/12/2008 8:57:22 AM - It is easier for the ladies who have no ties to this man to forget, I however, am reminded monthly of what he's gotten by with. I am still making payments on his mess, He is still on MY insurance, and YES, when I write out those checks, I only wish that HE'd GROW UP and Be RESPONSIBLE, so I can understand, that it is not hatred, it is aggravation that keeps this gal posting about Hop's cons... and Dear, I see no other way of putting it, since YOU'VE not made any attempt to right the wrongs...The last time we talked you promised by the end of April, how many months ago was that? You told me you'd get Tony and Margaret to help you with a loan, funny thing is I knew then it was another LIE. You think I'll go away? Think again! YOU chose to make a committment with me through some legal matters, I have asked YOU to meet and to discuss this with an attorney so that I can be out of YOUR life,...Have YOU??? No, You love the things my name has given you... So until YOU make good and get your bike, truck and insurance in your name... and you pay for the damages and money you've cost me on the RV, and repay the loans you asked me for...I'll Keep singing YOUR praises! And in case some of your ladies, think I am in love with him or I still want him, wrong, I deserve a man, not a leach! I have had no need for him in my life since Cheryl told me she was seeing him, then Vivian,... who managed to hunt the rest of you down, then I hear blamed it all on ME! Seems the truth is always tainted where she's concerned too, she doesn't lie? Give me a break!Oh yeah... for those who want to believe that I bought him things to KEEP HIM? Laughing out LOUD, not quiet, I do not, nor have I ever had to BUY a man. I loved this man and believed him, my mistake for trusting that a bible quoting man was actually a good man. He is good at the CONS he ran. I am Shari, in case there were any doubt!

6/12/2008 9:27:50 AM - 6/12/2008 9:24:38 AM - 6/12/2008 8:47:54 AM - It seems I may have hit a nerve. I have been reading these comments for how many months now? Almost a year. I have a few things to say and then I am not saying (typing) another word. Per the site, this man has gotten things far beyond what he can afford by saying he loved someone. So you made this commitment to do-sign things with this person, you knew for how long? He obviously doesn't have the financial means or the credit to get loans to take your name off these things. Who in their right mind wouldn't do everything the knew possible to get away from you? All the insults, harsh judging, irrational additudes you keep throwing out there against him. Are you with this man all the time, day and night to see that he is not even attempting to change things and make good on his word? If he did give the items back you co-signed for, would that shut you up? I doubt it! You would then continue to comment about him returning the things and leaving you responsible for them. There is no out for this man where you are concern.You just want to make his life a living hell. Obviously there is a lot of truth to the saying there is a fine line between love and hate! Where you are concern there will never be an end to this as long as this man lives. IN RESPONSE, YEAH, HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME, I BELIEVED HIM AS DID MANY OTHERS, WHAT YOU CAN NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IS IT WAS NOT JUST ME, THERE ARE OTHERS THAT HE'S DONE THE SAME WAY. HE WANTED THE ITEMS, WITH THE PROMISE THAT HE WOULD WORK TO PAY FOR THEM AND GET ME OFF THE LOANS IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS. WHY WOULD I NOT EXPECT HIM TO KEEP HIS WORD? HAD I NOT KEPT MINE WOULD HE HAVE BEEN NICER? I DO NOT THINK SO, REALIZE THIS, HE MADE THE MESS, HE CONTACTED ME, HE DIDN'T GET ALL THE THINGS HE'D ASKED FOR, THE YACHT THAT HE, COREY AND JOHN COULDN'T WAIT TO TAKE ME TO SEE. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHO WOULD BE PAYING FOR THE DOCKING FEES ON THAT, WHICH WERE $10K OR BETTER, HE ASSURED ME THAT HE'D BE DOING THAT AS WELL? AND KEEP IN MIND WHEN I TOLD HIM NO, HE BERATED ME FOR NOT GIVING HIM ANYTHING, BUT I HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK FROM A CRUISE AND SPEND MONEY ON MYSELF? HE YELLED AT ME AND TOLD ME TO NEVER TELL HIM NO...I SAW A VERY DIFFERENT MAN THAT DAY, WHEN HE SAW THAT HE'D UPSET ME, HE SMOOTHED IT OVER THAT HE HAD GOTTEN THE HOPES OF 'HIS BOYS' UP AND IT DISAPPOINTED HIM THAT HE COULDN'T GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANTED. NO, NOT ONCE DID "HE" REALIZE IT WAS MY NAME HE WANTED, THAT WOULD GIVE HIS BOYS THIS... BUT HE WAS UPSET THAT HE COULD NOT GET ME TO SIGN MORE FOR HIM!!! MONTHS LATER, HE ASKS ME ABOUT A SKI BOAT,..DOES GREED COME TO MIND HERE? I STOPPED SIGNING WHEN I SAW THAT HE WAS STRUGGLING...AND FOR THE RECORD I'D SAY THAT I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO MAKE ANY COMMENTS I DANG WELL PLEASE, AND UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT...MAYBE IT'S BEST TO JUST ACCEPT THAT HE DIDN'T GET YOU FOR AS MUCH, YOU ARE LUCKY YOU AREN'T STILL MAKING PAYMENTS ON HIM, I HAVE BEEN AS ADULT AS I CAN WITH HIM, UNFORTUNATELY, HE WON'T ACCEPT WHAT HE'S DONE. TRUE HE MAY BE STRUGGLING, AND IF SO, THAT'S HIS FAULT AS WELL. I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT HAVING A STEADY JOB AND MAKING PAYMENTS EARLY WOULD BUILD HIS CREDIT, SEEMS HE'S STILL STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN A CONSTANT JOB, AND MAKING PAYMENTS ON TIME? OH I AM NOTIFIED WHEN THEY AREN'T ON TIME. I COPY AND FORWARD THAT TO HIM AND IN DOING SO I GET A RIGHT NASTY REMARK. HIS HOLIER THAN THOU TYPE ATTITUDE DOESN'T SERVE HIM WELL WHEN HE CALLS ME EVERY VULGAR NAME HE KNOWS! SO NO SYMPATHIES HERE, HE MADE HIS BED, JUST NEVER FIGURED I WOULD STAND UP TO HIM. SO SWEETIE... THIS SITE HAS NOT BEEN GOING FOR A YEAR, VIVIAN STARTED IN IN OCTOBER I BELIEVE...OR MAYBE LATER, WHO KNOWS SHE RESEARCHED AND FOUND ALL THE SITES THAT SHE COULD POSSIBLY POST HIM ON, THEN BADGERED THE REST OF US UNTIL WE POSTED. I WANTED TO BELIEVE HOP, THAT HE'D DO AS HE'S SAID, BUT I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM DO ANYTING... TO RIGHT THIS. DO I WANT THE THINGS BACK? NO, IF YOU ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT ME, THEN BY ALL MEANS, TAKE HIM TO THE BANK, SIGN YOUR NAME ALONG SIDE HIS, YOU PAY THE PROPERTY TAXES, YOU MAKE THE PAYEMENTS ON THE RV, THE RV THAT HE LIVED IN FROM FEBRUARY TIL HE RETURNED IN MID NOVEMBER, WITH HIS WIFE THAT HE TOLD ME HE WAS IN THE PROCESS OF DIVORCING, YOU MAY REPAY ME FOR THE SOFA, THE RECLINER, THE ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM, THE SCREEN DOOR, THE PAINT DAMAGE, AND ALL THE HOSES THAT HE REMOVED FROM THE RV. THE RV HE HAD TO HAVE SO THAT HE COULD GET HIS BOYS OUT OF THE DC AREA AND FREE OF DRUGS, YOU MAY ALSO REPAY THE SIGNED AND NOTORIZED LOANS THAT HE AND I HAVE.... AND ONCE YOU DO, THEN YES....AS HE'S PUT IT SO GRACIOUSLY, I'LL CRAWL BACK UNDER THE ROCK HE FOUND ME UNDER AND I'LL LEAVE HIM ALONE!

6/12/2008 8:43:02 PM - 6/12/2008 7:52:45 PM - I rest my case. Shut up and go away? Too Funny. Oh I'll shut up all right, cause it's obvious you won't keep YOUR big pie whole shut! The more you talk the bigger the idiot you PROVE you are. You have more money that brains!You thought you could buy this man to stay with you. Backfired on you didn't it? You deserve everything that's happening to you. Grow up and take responsibility for the part you played in this. If you couldn't afford the loans and everything that goes along with them ,after the fact, how is this now his fault? You should have thought BEFORE you signed anything with him, what would happen if he defaulted on the loans. This would have been the end result even if he died. You would be responsible for it all. Bottom line is you are just out for blood. Period. RESPONSE: 6/12/2008 8:20:29 PM - Wrong, I don't care for blood, I'd prefer to be repaid for the money I loaned him in good faith. But by all means, You continue to believe what you like. And correction, I never bought anyone, never will, and have no need to do so, that is your theroy, in all reality, it only proves what a good con artist this man is, he saw the opportunity, lied to me and did so to take advantage of it. But KEEP in MIND, I am not the ONLY ONE who he has done this to. So PIE HOLE OVER LOAD, who are you? (as V would say, check you grammar and spelling) I'll shut my pie hole when he makes good. Smiles! Oh and Have a Nice Day.

6/13/2008 6:03:16 AM - Sounds to me he's a theif!

6/13/2008 9:00:16 AM - Randy Hopper is a saint in his eyes. He never does wrong, he never deceives, he has never lied. He has never told the truth would be the more truthful statement. He is making a perfect point on the type of man he is, a very good darn con artist. When the man has NO money, needs it for food, yet shows up decked in a leather jacket, chaps, and has the gumption to say he bought the chaps on sale at the Harley Store for $20 bucks, yeah, he's the idiot! He's been found out, and that is the ONLY reason he is reading and commenting... he needs his FIX of unsuspecting women once again, and doesn't want to run the risk of more finding out! Way to GO! Keep spreading the NEWS!!!!!

6/15/2008 4:46:53 PM - Guess Pie Hole Over load has decided to not reveal himself? You have to realize that there are idiots and then there are IDIOTS! Not everyone believed all your lies, just wanted to believe that you couldn't seriously be the con artist you've proven yourself to be. Too bad those of us who did have faith in you were the ones you hurt.

6/16/2008 5:42:36 PM - Were you minding your own business, not in a chatroom, or a public forum, but simply doing your own thing when out of the blue, you get an email or an instant message from the "warrior" stating that because of your smile, or your eyes, the pure beauty of YOU, he had to contact you?

6/16/2008 5:51:14 PM - Did he say all the things you'd been waiting to hear, things that made you feel an instant connection? We've been together in a previous life, I was your knight in shining armor, we connect so thoroughly, I know what you'll say before you open your mouth. Our Souls, spirits and paths have crossed, I can't wait to touch you... I love you before I ever meet you face to face. And when you laughed it off and thought this guy is playing me. He laughed with you, but insisted that fate had brought the two of you together?

6/17/2008 8:03:19 AM - Were you told he was 6.1, had extremely long brown hair to his belt? That he was divorced and had been for many years, that he had sons, 3 of them and needed to get them away from Northern VA, due to the gangs and drugs? Were you told he didn't smoke, and if he felt the need it was only a couple a day to calm his nerves. Were you told that he moved to AK to free himself of the wife that had mental issues and wouldn't leave him alone? Were you told she followed him there and it still didn't work out? Were you told he was a loner, almost a hermit of sorts and it was your beauty and your personality that caused him to come back to civilization? What do you believe?

6/17/2008 8:07:21 AM - He is 6.1, he does have beautiful hair to his belt. He is not divorced nor was he separated from his wife. He does not have any children of HIS own, the 3 he spoke of were his wife's son, his nephew and his nephew's best friend. He smokes like a chimney, but tries hard to not smoke around anyone who doesn't smoke themselves. Who knows why he moved to AK, he lived in an apartment not in what he would describe as a cabin almost a cave. His marriage must be really strong since she's stuck by him through this and still appears to love him. His mom asked him to come back to VA, for the holidays and he did. He wasn't able to make a living in AK, find a job and keep it. That's the truth as I see it.

6/17/2008 12:54:01 PM - 6/13/2008 12:29:04 PM - Randy, if you ever look at this site, a Private Detective is looking into Kathy Beatty's murder. He came by my house and talked to Donna for a long time but I wasn’t home. He said that he is talking to as many of us a possible. He wants to talk to you and Dennis. And to me too but he will have to call me or come back. If you look up KathyBeatty.com you will be able to see more. Be good and stay safe. Randys old chum.

6/17/2008 3:19:41 PM - THIS HAS VIV WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.. AND SHE SAID SHE DOES NOT COME ON HERE ANYMORE.. RIGHT! SHE LIES AS WE ALL CAN SEE........ 6/12/2008 8:43:02 PM - 6/12/2008 7:52:45 PM - I rest my case. Shut up and go away? Too Funny. Oh I'll shut up all right, cause it's obvious you won't keep YOUR big pie whole shut! The more you talk the bigger the idiot you PROVE you are. You have more money that brains!You thought you could buy this man to stay with you. Backfired on you didn't it? You deserve everything that's happening to you. Grow up and take responsibility for the part you played in this. If you couldn't afford the loans and everything that goes along with them ,after the fact, how is this now his fault? You should have thought BEFORE you signed anything with him, what would happen if he defaulted on the loans. This would have been the end result even if he died. You would be responsible for it all. Bottom line is you are just out for blood. Period. RESPONSE: 6/12/2008 8:20:29 PM - Wrong, I don't care for blood, I'd prefer to be repaid for the money I loaned him in good faith. But by all means, You continue to believe what you like. And correction, I never bought anyone, never will, and have no need to do so, that is your theroy, in all reality, it only proves what a good con artist this man is, he saw the opportunity, lied to me and did so to take advantage of it. But KEEP in MIND, I am not the ONLY ONE who he has done this to. So PIE HOLE OVER LOAD, who are you? (as V would say, check you grammar and spelling) I'll shut my pie hole when he makes good. Smiles! Oh and Have a Nice Day."V" WE KNOW THIS IS YOU.

6/17/2008 7:37:52 PM - Did he tell you all about his company, how well he was doing remodeling homes? Did he tell you how all the homeowners who were women, came on to him and he wanted to not finished the work due to sexual harrassment? Did he tell you about the woman in Asheville who he called the cops on? The house that he was redoing the kitchen and also cutting wood, so as to expand the deck, how he slept on the floor and huge roaches ran across him at night. Did you buy him materials to build these things? Did you buy him tools? Did you find that no matter where you were he always needed something for a job? Did he tell you that IF you helped him out just this once, that he'd repay you every dime? Did he tell you he was a man of his word? Did he tell you he didn't eat meat? Did you ever see him scarf down a steak? Did you notice how a man with a business was always having to get a new cell phone, and the number was always changed? Did you wonder?

6/18/2008 8:40:24 AM - Did you believe him when he said he was struggling to make ends meet, that he needed a few bucks IF you could spare them for food, or his power was being turned off, or he needed gas so that he could stay warm. Did you send him money when Rhiannan was sick, did you cry with him when he had to put her down? Did you worry about his mental health when he was so depressed over losing her? Did you know there were more than one of us who sent him money for her care, one who paid the whole amount? Does he care? Did you hear about the puppy he found on the side of the road, wearing a little green collar, did you know he took it from a woman's garage, because he felt she didn't pay it enough attention? Did you hear how he found a kitten on the side of interstate 40 coming out of Asheville, how he was getting horns blown at him as he crawl around under bushes trying to capture this kitten...How finally he tricked the kitten into believing he was eating a leaf? Do you believe any of this? Was he able honest with any of us?

6/18/2008 8:56:50 AM - Did he give you his password so you could add minutes to his phone, because without minutes he could not get work? Did you see pictures of other women on his phone, and when you asked were told, oh I was taking pictures of work I've done and she just happened to be in the picture?

6/18/2008 9:00:19 AM - When you asked him who the blond woman was on Corey or John's MySpace pages, were you told, that was his EX-Wife, she was only visiting her boys for the weekend? Did you ask him how he could have two sons the same age born a few weeks apart? Did he think no one would ever figure out the lies?

6/19/2008 6:49:08 AM - Did he tell you that he had told his whole family all about you? How they couldn't wait to finally meet the woman who had put such a smile on his face? How only your phone number and his moms were the only ones he carried on him in case of an emergency? That any monies he'd borrowed from you would be repaid through a life insurance policy and how he'd left directions with his mom to contact you, God forbid something happened? How his sister Anne Marie and he had discussed relationships, since he'd not been in but a couple his whole life? His marriage being the major one? Did you ever wonder how the "sons" thought of the women he would allow to "ride" along with him? Those in NC, even to VA? Wonder why he put her in a crack house motel, then left to spend the night God knows where? Wonder about the footprints on the windows in the back of the Explorer? Wonder how GOD always managed to send Angels of mercy that would buy him tanks of gas when he would run out on the interstate? Did it really happen? Or was it another one of US women he used?

6/19/2008 7:47:29 AM - Did you doubt his love for you or that he was lying until he'd gotten all you could give? Did you fall for his charm, his sweet words and his poor pitiful me lines? Did he try to make you feel guilty for buying your family anything, ask you to sell your property and move to a foreign land with him? Did you know felons can not get passports? Did he tell you he'd been in prison for robbing a bank? Stealing from an employer? Selling drugs? Did you he tell you how none of the problems in his life are his fault?

6/19/2008 5:43:00 PM -

6/19/2008 5:44:26 PM - My bad, he told me this himself, said he had to ride the ferry from AK because he wasn't allowed to drive through Canada, so that was per Randy.

6/19/2008 5:46:49 PM - Oh but did he tell you that you had to buddy up with someone on the ferry, if you didn't and someone didn't like your looks, they could easily toss you over and no one would know what happened to you? Don't suppose he was too concerned being that he had Allison, and Corey with him. Maybe he as always been a bit paranoid?

6/20/2008 1:23:58 PM - Did he ask you to help him to research business plans, to loan him money for licenses so he could be all legal in NC? Did he ask you to represent him to the BBB when he had a report filed against him? Did you play his attorney? Did you encourage him to get driver's licenses in NC and warn him that he needed special licenses to ride a bike in NC? Did he tell you he was struggling living in a RV in Don's side yard? Did he tell you he had to GIVE his first RV to Don for rent? Did he tell you all about Don's girlfriend and how she "wanted" him? Did he tell she how this woman wanted him so badly she allowed he and his family to live in her RV? Did he tell you about Don's aging mother who he watched walk to the mailbox daily? Did he tell you his WIFE lived with him and has for 20+ years? Doesn't he have a great imagination?

6/20/2008 4:11:14 PM - FACT is, he and his wife were living in a very nice RV, in Van Hoy's Camp Ground in Union Grove. Not someone's side yard, he had the RV set up nicely with a nice wooden deck which he could pull his harley onto. A nice big gas container that gave him fuel for heat and cooking. He wasn't struggling, His wife said they ate really well, and by all accounts he wasn't loosing weight! He had the blue truck, the Harley and the gray Explorer...nice cozy set up!

6/20/2008 4:17:15 PM - Did anyone ever notice the ring he had hanging from his rear view mirror? It was a sundial, does he still have it? Ask him which OLD friend gave that to him... he'll make it sound like it was a gift from a long time ago... believe him.. in time.. you'll learn differently!

6/20/2008 4:21:49 PM - Oh Does anyone remember the dog tags? The ones about him being a Child Of GOD? He told me he'd been given those when he was saved and would ever take them off. He had a black piece of rubber around them to keep them from clinking together...Does he still wear those?

6/20/2008 5:27:09 PM - He doesn't talk to you any more once you become the fat cow, because his "cash" cow dried up... and he as no intention of repaying the money he borrowed! Remember asking, DO you have a CLUE how much you owe me? and he'd remark, Babe, I am not going anywhere, you'll be repaid every time...And your are sooo right, he never had a clue HOW MUCH. He didn't care, it was just for the moment. So HOW can anyone deny this wasn't a con? He gained our trust then got money, or things then left without paying! He will continue to be exposed for the theif he is! How did you like Prison Randy? Want a one way ticket back? Keep doing what you are doing, and sooner or later your luck will run OUT!

6/21/2008 6:10:51 AM - Oh You are talking about his watch dog? She's about as fake as the color of her hair! But by all means IF that is what the man finds attractive! heheheee, I think he was using her for information, once she's pissed everyone off, she'll be of no use to him. Since he bases his life on lies, it shouldn't matter to him if his watch dogs lies or not, he forgives doesn't he? And beleives that anything he says is gospel, and he's a man of his word! Oh dang im gagging! But yes, I agree he shouldn't take anything she says as fact. She's shown how "FAKE" she is.

6/21/2008 7:24:26 AM -

6/21/2008 11:35:26 AM - Did you hold hands as you and he rode around, did he tell you, I love you and you melted because you had no reason to believe other wise? Did you trust him because he played the part so well, of being a good man? When you caught little things that didn't add up, did he try to make you believe it was you who was mistaken about what he'd said, or done? Did you get this sick to the gut feeling that this was all a big joke on you, when you googled him and found out you'd been had by one of the best cons? Sweetheart Fraud, seems it's a "legal" action, as LONG as no one presses charges! You are NOT alone, sure he'd love to make you think others will consider you an idiot for falling for this; BUT, that IS what he's counting on. He hates knowing he's been exposed, the more exposure that can be shed on this type of behavior, the more likely Randy and those scums like him will realize, women will not be taken without a fight. Maybe the men of our nation need to realize, women have rights as well. It is criminal to steal and obtain things under false pretense, HASN'T HE DONE THIS?

6/21/2008 11:39:58 AM - How many times did you do without things you'd like to have had, because you allowed this man to borrow from you? How many times did you put things on your credit card for him. Were you ever asked to send a "friend" money for groceries? It's since come to light that $60.00 is what he needed to keep is account opened so he can play xbox. How cruel is that? Any of us who've put any cash advances for him on our credit cards know that it cost us 30.00 more. So 90 bucks so this overly spoiled child can play his games! Oh, but we owe him this because HE took the time to talk to us? WRONG!

6/21/2008 11:45:30 AM - Did he tell you how disappointed he was when he went to MD to visit his old friends last Labor Day? That they were most all in houses, in and near the old neighborhood, but they were still into smoking pot and doing drugs! OR was this his way of lessening the disappointment in himself because he's turned out to be a bum who makes his living off of unsuspecting good hearted women? He asked for loans from women whose trust he'd earned, then he disappears without repaying them, when they need the money themselves or blames everyone but himself (of course) as to him not being able to find and keep a job. Most employers need employees who work, they can't talk on the phone to women all day long, or sit in the "john" all day long and chat, just not gonna happen!

6/22/2008 7:32:23 AM - There are times I become weak, and think that just maybe this man could have loved me as he'd said so many times. The times I could swear that his heart and mine beat as one. Then, I pinch myself and I wake up to the realization that no ONE does someone they truly love like this man has done to so many. He doesn't know the meaning of the word, only knows that by saying it and making women believe it, that the "I LOVE YOU" will open doors that otherwise would not be opened. He can make a tidy profit by lying and decieving those of us who put our faith in him and loved him with all our hearts. Mine was stomped upon...I learned a tough lesson.

6/23/2008 11:07:48 AM - This man has yet to surprise me, maybe he'll one day step up and be the man of his word he is so fond of saying he is? This is why women believed him, they took him at his word, because most men are proud of themselves and try to keep their word. Too bad, we all learned too late that he is only full of HOT air.

6/24/2008 5:07:15 AM - Did he remind you of HIS birthday and make sure for any occasion he had gifts? Did he ever so much as buy a card for you? Did you help him buy gifts for people and pay for them? Did he give the ones you gave him away so as not to explain them to his WIFE? Do you wonder HOW she didn't suspect something? Do you think she over looked his "women" because she benefited from the gifts, toys and the money that he borrowed? How many times did he promise to make good on the money he borrowed? Has he?

6/24/2008 5:08:35 AM - Did he call you names and tell lies about you when you were no longer able to give him the money he wanted?

6/24/2008 5:09:12 AM - Did you accept his apology more than once to hear from someone else that you were a sixty year old fat crazy stalker?

6/24/2008 5:10:15 AM - Did you hear how groused out he was at how fat he now thought you were, when months earlier he loved the inside the outside never mattered?

6/24/2008 11:52:00 AM -

6/25/2008 6:13:48 AM - No one likes to realize they have been had, not even Randy Hopper who hates having himself posted on these types of sites. Guess he should have thought about the consequeneces before the dupped women out of money and ticked them off. If saving ONE women from being financially and emotionally raped by him has happened due to these sites, then it has all been worth it. But then he's embarassed because his friends and family have seen the remarks left. Guess sometimes the truth just plain stings! Oh but wait... He LOVED us, we threw ourselves at him, along with fists full of money! Sorry Sugarlips, you brought this all down on yourself, by misleading us into believing you are were a man of your word.

6/25/2008 9:06:19 AM - 6/17/2008 12:54:01 PM - 6/13/2008 12:29:04 PM - Randy, if you ever look at this site, a Private Detective is looking into Kathy Beatty's murder. He came by my house and talked to Donna for a long time but I wasn’t home. He said that he is talking to as many of us a possible. He wants to talk to you and Dennis. And to me too but he will have to call me or come back. If you look up KathyBeatty.com you will be able to see more. Be good and stay safe. Randys old chum.

6/26/2008 4:51:10 AM - Randy has threatened me, to not push him to his dark side. Said that he has a hard time controling his anger. I've seen him mad, not sure it was as bad as he'd like anyone to believe, he didn't scare me, but then, I'd learned by then that he was mostly all lies. He would disappear for days, and he would say that he was in a dark place mentally, he was sparing me from having to see him in this state of mind. However, now I just look back and assumed it was HIS excuse to be with another woman, and of course he never wanted any of us to know about the others.

6/26/2008 4:53:52 AM - Funny thing is, he loved to "mark" his women, by biting. I told him to not even think about it, he'd say that wolf was hungry and needed to be fed, he always talked like he was a "mystical" character, he was, it's a mystery he kept any woman with his selfishness. Ever felt like you had a spell put over you and you knew things just were not right, but couldn't break clear of him?

6/26/2008 5:35:24 AM - WOW, GUESS ONE REALLY NEVER KNOWS? Randy was so easily loved, and does not appear to have a problem getting a woman. Only seems he lived a lie the whole time, telling everyone he wasn't married, telling everyone he would repay the loans he got from woman, and his biggest problem all along was just simply telling the truth. Is it possible for a man to be honest with himself and speak the truth, or would his evil tongue choke him?

6/26/2008 6:36:33 AM - Has this man disappeared once again? To the Alaskan Wilderness to live in a cave, to become a true mountain man; hiding from civilization, the women who want their money, or something much bigger?

6/26/2008 5:33:05 PM -

6/26/2008 7:39:25 PM - Has life always been a game with you Randy? Have you always played with people's emotions? Have you never cared that anyone could have possibly loved you? Did it matter that you lied to get what you wanted? Will you ever grow up and stop the games? Why do you feel you deserve to hurt women? What did I ever do to you but love you and try to do for you so that you could start over and have nice things... You are one cold hearted son of a gun.

6/28/2008 11:46:58 AM -

6/28/2008 11:51:00 AM - Life is precious, and as a mother I can only pray for the one who's daughter was murdered and IF I could give them the information they needed to answer their questions I would. But I have no answers as I have only read about their loss. I do not understand why if anyone has information they will not come forward. Randy I urge you to call and to help this family put closure to their pain. You may or may not have any information that could help, but here's a chance for you to step up and be a man. Will you?

6/30/2008 5:26:00 AM -

6/30/2008 10:06:26 AM - Time flies when you are having a great time at other's expenses, hope you enjoy all the money you've borrowed and never repaid!

6/30/2008 11:42:13 AM - Since Advengingangel has been discovered to be Mrs Hopper, and posing as her husband as well, seems life has not been nearly as "stirred up"... Kinda miss the drama huh? Living a lie never pays, the truth will always win... think on that one! When you lie, you need to remember the names you've given yourself and stick by them. And now I suppose you want us all to believe YOU had no knowledge of all the "cons" Randy was pulling? Yeah right, what bridge was that you wanted to sell us?

7/1/2008 2:20:25 PM - It was bad enough to learn he was cheating on me with another woman, but to learn he was married and cheating on his wife, made me sick to my stomach. Knowing he didn't care about anyone but himself, putting notches on his belt, we meant nothing except a means to gain what he wanted. His day will come where he will face a much bigger judge and then and maybe ONLY then will we ever know why he had to hurt so many of us. I do hope he steps forward, and answers questions and who knows if he's awarded the reward money...maybe he'll feel better about actually having money he didn't beg, borrow or steal from a woman whom he told ..."I love you Babe"

7/2/2008 4:44:16 PM - Sitting in a restaurant, in a quiet corner So I could talk to a woman who had to meet me. Over her cell phone I heard all I needed to hear, HIS voice her giggling as she told him she'd seen him with me. I heard him say I was a no body. I meant nothing to him...and they talked of their wedding plans. I called him, he stuttered when he saw my call coming through, I hung up. He called me as soon as she hung up. Wanting to know what I needed. Oh nothing Babe, just miss you and wanted to hear your voice... then he tells me he loves me. She hears it and now the joke isn't funny any more. I see the hurt in her eyes when she realizes that I was told she was the same as me... a HOMEOWNER whom he was doing work for. I saw the hurt in her eyes when she realized He'd told me that he loved me. HOW many Randy? How many more will you pull into your game and destroy?

7/2/2008 4:46:09 PM - Two women, two fine women who have never had to "settle" for anyone, broken hearted to learn that a man they loved and were planning on spending the rest of their lives with, had totally played them... broken hearted, asking why? Why did he do this to us?

7/2/2008 4:47:14 PM - So I thank her for opening my eyes to something I wasn't aware of. And we form a bond, a bond that says, "Yes, I understand, I have been there, I know the hurt!"

7/2/2008 4:48:58 PM - Then you ask... What did I ever do but Love him? What did I do that wasn't enough? Why did he have no regard to how I'd feel when I found out he'd played me?

7/2/2008 4:51:22 PM - You keep what you know to yourself, and give her time to confront him. She needs time to make sure that they can move on? Make it work? Be forgiven? Protect herself from his violent temper? Who knows, but I did as she'd asked. She after all was hurting the same as me.

7/2/2008 4:53:23 PM - It was heart wrenching to have to be near him and not be able to touch him, to hold him and the times I bit my tongue to stop from saying, I love you Babe. He knew there was something wrong, just couldn't put his finger on it, after all, He loves me, what possibly could be wrong with me? The wonderful George Randoph Hopper LOVES me.... yeah right

7/3/2008 7:52:56 AM - This man must have never been in love to be able to so carelessly play with the emotions of these women. Just wonder if he's ever truly been in love and has had his heart broken? If so, then he would surely understand why they can not understand his motives. Unless he's a sociopath! They are emotionless!

7/3/2008 11:48:04 AM - SOCIOPATH OR THE DEVIL?

7/3/2008 11:49:00 AM - REMEMBER THE DEVIL KNEW THE BIBLE TOO, HE'S GAINING TRUST BY PREACHING GOD'S WORD TO YOU.

7/4/2008 5:43:38 AM - Randy is upset that he's been talked about, for the lies he's told us. Has he ever considered that his lies have put some of us in financial trouble? That we are having to get help from others to help repay the loans he's asked for? That our credit is ruined because we believed his lies? That we put faith in the love we had for him for him to come through and be the man he proclaimed to be. IF he has considered the stress and burden he's put us under, then he should totally understand why we do not want anyone else to be "taken" by his charm and his lies!

7/4/2008 5:45:30 AM - He played a game with women's lives, lied to gain from these women, yet he tries to find fault in us? Get real!

7/4/2008 5:47:41 AM - His problem is he was discovered for the "con" job he was pulling and in doing so it messed up his source of income. I hope every woman who's ever been burned by this type of animal exposes them for what they are.

7/5/2008 2:57:16 PM - Imagine being his wife, and trying to decide if you believe him, or the numerous women who only "claim" to have been with him. Have to ask yourself, could they all be lying? Is he lying to you the same as he lied to the others? Just read up on sociopaths, it may OPEN your eyes too.

7/5/2008 2:59:36 PM - When you honestly love someone, it's so easy to WANT to believe what you are hearing from him, to believe that he could not possibly hurt you by doing things that you are reading and hearing about. But he has, hurt so many, what's one more?

7/5/2008 3:01:20 PM - But you KNOW! You know that he's run around on you for years, you are only trying to play the innocent one, to make it appear you had no idea. Tough, trying to back paddle out of a mess isn't it? He's gotten you both in deep.

7/5/2008 3:03:24 PM - What was that you were going to sue "us" women for? Alienation of Affection? Didn't the words that came from your mouth sound something like? "I just want to SUE someone!"

7/5/2008 3:05:07 PM - Guess you smartened up and realized that any attorney worth a dime will tell you, as long as your Unfaithful Husband is still living with you, it's not possible. I honestly hope you can help him keep his boxers on.

7/5/2008 3:07:20 PM - And keep him off dating sites, prowling for his next victims. Unsuspecting, trusting women who are wooed by his charm. His lies have gotten him where he is. Would be great if he'd start making good on his promises. Just keep in mind, we never came after him, he found most all of us, told us he was divorced. We never wanted a married man.

7/6/2008 8:52:18 PM - 7/6/2008 8:48:40 PM - 6/26/2008 7:38:16 PM - Allison ~ thank you so much for the conversation tonight. It gave us everything we needed to prove that you and Randy do this together as a team and it is all premeditated.Our attorney's loved it said it was the final nail in your coffins! OK TO THIS PERSON THIS IS ALLISON I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I DON'T REALLY CARE, THE ONLY REASON I AM HERE IS BECAUSE OF A FRIEND WHO INFORMED ME OF THIS CRAP BEING SAID ABOUT ME. NO I HAVEN'T TALK TO ANYONE SINCE 2007 OCT. SO WHO EVER THIS IS, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT ME, I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS SO STOP SAY THESE THINGS....... 6/30/2008 11:44:30 AM - Since Advengingangel has been discovered to be Mrs Hopper, and posing as her husband as well, seems life has not been nearly as "stirred up"... Kinda miss the drama huh? Living a lie never pays, the truth will always win... think on that one! When you lie, you need to remember the names you've given yourself and stick by them. And now I suppose you want us all to believe YOU had no knowledge of all the "cons" Randy was pulling? Yeah right, what bridge was that you wanted to sell us? NOW TO THIS PERSON PROBABLY THE SAME ONE I AM NOT THIS SCREEN NAME HAVE ONLY ONE AND YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT AS. THIS PROBLEM IS YOURS NOT MINE SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP SAYING THESE THINGS ABOUT ME. I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO ANY OF YOU. 7/5/2008 3:03:24 PM - What was that you were going to sue "us" women for? Alienation of Affection? Didn't the words that came from your mouth sound something like? "I just want to SUE someone!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7/5/2008 3:05:07 PM - Guess you smartened up and realized that any attorney worth a dime will tell you, as long as your Unfaithful Husband is still living with you, it's not possible. I honestly hope you can help him keep his boxers on. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7/5/2008 3:07:20 PM - And keep him off dating sites, prowling for his next victims. Unsuspecting, trusting women who are wooed by his charm. His lies have gotten him where he is. Would be great if he'd start making good on his promises. Just keep in mind, we never came after him, he found most all of us, told us he was divorced. We never wanted a married man. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME OR MY ENERGY ON ANY OF YOU GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE I HAVE. SO JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT ME I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO ANY OF YOU.....

7/7/2008 6:00:31 AM - Oh? Amazing! Selective memory serves you well.

7/7/2008 2:11:49 PM - A male whore, close, he's a con artist, a whore will give you their price upfront! He screwed us out of it with the promises of repayment! Call a spade a spade, he's a con! And his wife? Oh don't even get me started there, she brags about riding his harley? She brags about the good jobs they have, well darlin brag on, because YOU nor HE could have gotten squat on your own. IF so then start repaying all of us that you KNEW nothing about (rolling eyes)!

7/7/2008 5:11:10 PM - JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME OR MY ENERGY ON ANY OF YOU GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE I HAVE. SO JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT ME I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO ANY OF YOU..... oh you have enjoyed the money he promised to repay all of us, so nice that you both are living on our dimes! Enjoy your life, and when you crank up the vehicles, think, without the goodness of someone you would not be having all this...the Harley, the Truck, the Explorer,...insurance, registration and licenses can all be traced, and there's only one that traces back to HIM. Which one is it Allison?

7/8/2008 10:30:45 AM - I have been directed to this site by, the "X' Mrs. Hopper and after talking even with "Randy" In great detail, with whom I grew up with. I have to really shake my head and hold back the laughter. Not Only have I read what you "Victims" of your own lust and desires, have written here but on other men as well, on this site. It would seem that all we have here are accusations and broken hearts. I have seen photos of all you women, lol, and you would have to pay me as well to spend time with you. Not to sound to ignorant.....(put the candy back miss hanson)............oh what the fuck, you whores are, so why not me. Let me get this right, from the get go. First there is Winnie in Alaska, Lynn in Alaska and some woman who tried to steal Randy's r.v. beacuse he was leaving Alaska. Who, from what I was told, was going to pay him to stay? (lmao). A Judy Travis? Seen her video of her stripping for him, not something I wish to ever see again. please! Lynnn, who Randy did work for and was payed for that work. End of story. Then Winnie, a married woman, fooling around on her husband?> but correct me if I'm wrong I thought this site was full of "Christian women" ? No?, I didn't think so. Then a woman in P.A.? Vivian Cummings, the founder and leader of this merry band of over weight losers? (lmao.) Yes seen her footage as well and photos. Not going there. I still have to eat lunch. Then a Deborah kneght? Who (claims) she gave him $62.000.00 dollars ? (lol.) Alot of money. And highly unlikely.

7/8/2008 10:31:28 AM - Although, I could do a lot of traveling with that. Then there is a Cheryl, in N.C., not sure of her last name, but a women who worked for the court system.( while drinking and running around with other men, leaving her children home alone and under age) She claimed her duties was to defend children, but who from what I have been told and seen, treated her's like shit. But then they weren't her children, I stand corrected. They were her bi sexual daughters children who she took from her daughter to raise. But don't polish that halo too fast. Its all for money. She gets paid from the state for keeping them clothed and fed.That is probably why she dosen't really have to work. Not a bad deal. 3 children. How much do you get per child, till they turn 18? Still is it out of love or money? Who really gives a fuck? Then the cream of the crop, Miss. Hanson, poor miss Hanson, and no, if truth be told you did not buy Randy a truck or bike. And I just mailed for him(out of his pocket, mind you) his insurance payment for yet another month. I have seen the bill he gets each month and your name is not on either. And yes your video of stripping for him Hanson? I have to say? really turned my stomach. Yes, poor miss hanson, How many men have you gone through as of late? 2, 3 I was told. Why is that? Is it your constant complaining and running of your mouth, always about me, me, me. Look at me> Who also I was told loves to have her dog in the bed with her while having sex. Not sure what that is about. Kinky. Kinda turns me on I guess. Not! But on further examination, I noticed all you "victims" don't leave a name after you post something, why is that, if all this is true and can be proved why are you not leaving contact info name, number etc ? I'll tell you why, because you all would be sued for every last dime you have or ever will have for slander. Yes, that is why. So if this is about truth, then why isn't your dirty laundry out there? Why is this just an attack on one man, of many from what I can see by this site. Instead of a complete reversal? An attack on your characters? It takes two. But then we don't need your names your numbers or address do we. we know your routine your habits, when you let the dog out. When you go shopping etc. When the dog is left alone. When your children are left alone. We know when you are alone. lol. And last I looked. randy isn't running from any of you or this pathetic cackling bunch of bitches. Last I looked he is working. Riding his harley. lol. So step up to the plate "ladies"? I use that term with hesitation. Not sure there are any on this site at all. Just lonely, fat women, some with mental issues, no doubt. Who say alot as they hide behind their monitors, who say alot, but prove nothing. Nothing at all. As you all are nothing. From what I have read, uneducated, ill mannered, medicated taking, home bound, out of shape, "pay for my pussy please" whores. But please keep coming back, if nothing else it shows that I'm right. Have a nice day. Lil suggestion? Try getting your fat ass up outy of you chairs on your stair master. And turn your p.c. off for 30 days lets see how much weight we can lose, come on girls, drop and give me 20. LMAO If there are is any one who wishes, but wait no men really cum to this site do they, So I really can't leave all your videos and photos here can I? Its ok I'll get your info out there for all these men. I'm sure that there is some one out there who will take all that fat and still love you for it. Have nice day. Oh yes I'll be back, have to see what chicken feathers were rustled, so much fun. (LOL) P.S. Is it really about these fictious loans, or really about having a man say no too fucking you? Grow up!

7/8/2008 10:32:05 AM - nice picture of him though, actually smiling, lol

7/8/2008 10:41:11 AM - so much fun, I'm back, no response? oh well maybe later. Remember ladies take your meds. Also noticed poor miss hanson back on Myspace, new photos, saved. looking for that prince still are we? try loving yourself first and not all that chocolate maybe you'll get that man

7/8/2008 11:28:17 AM - row row row your boat gently down the stream merely merely merely life is but............................Hanson put that cake back

7/8/2008 11:28:57 AM - rotflmao.....................................................

7/8/2008 11:32:37 AM - butt wait chickens are thin. lol

7/8/2008 11:34:46 AM - yeah shut your pie hole biatch, and correct your grammer

7/8/2008 1:12:30 PM - Great! The man has yet another pie hole talking for him. Keep in mind pie hole that he is feeding you LIES as well. And IF you mailed an insurance payment, then that would truly be a first! Get him deputy dawg! See he's only telling his pitiful "women want me side" he's never told you that he was pushed away! Maybe that hurt his ego to have a "fat" girl tell him NO... cause his 30 sex dick can't please a woman! Oh but this is great, cause you just admitted to his wife that he was with all the above mentioned women, women that she wanted proof that he was with. Soooo sad, she just wanted to SUE!

7/8/2008 1:18:36 PM - Oh and wrong.. Chickens have big Breast! Something he is attracted to, right baby!?

7/8/2008 1:19:44 PM - Ohhhhhhh he has videos of women stripping? Coool, I would LOVE to see those! Direct me to the site you have them posted! Drooling here, love those big breasted chicken breast!!! Oh baby...you've opened a can of whupass!

7/8/2008 1:40:24 PM - ok then who ever wrote that needs to really take their meds, so much fun. don't forget Hanson that you should really watch what your dog eats out back. And your car needs washing. come on burn some fat and wash that boat. i remember he told me that when you both were in your car and you were driving the car tilted and he had to wear his seat belt just to stay in the passenger seat. LMAO, get a fucking job cunt!

7/8/2008 1:49:42 PM - And you are the liar pie hole, I have had Randy do work on my property and at a rate well below what most are charging and has never asked for a dime more. As for ladies, that you claim you are? lmao, Ladies have class, dignity, education, refined. You? you are just some country whore who is too fat to suck a good dick. As for that lol remark about 30 sec dick, maybe it was the dog on your bed.

7/8/2008 1:52:26 PM - WhupAss? name the time and place, don't be scared. lock those doors though cause I'm a crazy bitch. Far from any lady.

7/8/2008 1:56:42 PM - And counselor, nothing has been admitted cracker, this is internet. Do your home work. Nothing is real, yet its all real. How is that going with your new Bo'? Careful who you think you are talking to on line, never know who it might be. Really hot out have you walked at all today? Have you even tried to burn some fat off?

7/8/2008 2:44:47 PM - what no response computer ass? take the fucking cake out of that pie hole, biatch.

7/8/2008 3:09:08 PM - "When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was in the wrong."1 On more than one occasion Jesus confronted the Pharisees in no uncertain terms for their hypocritical behavior, as did the Apostle Paul to Peter in the above Scripture verse. So when is it right for us to confront others and when do we need to keep silent? How do we know when we are reacting in proportion to what has happened or if we are overreacting? When someone attacks us personally, when do we turn the other cheek? Or when we see wrong in society, business, or politics, should we speak out or should we look the other way and say nothing? When people attacked Jesus and accused him falsely, he remained totally nondefensive and said nothing because he had nothing to hide. On the other hand, when people misused the house of God and used people for their own ends, or tried to hide their hypocrisy behind a facade of religious piety, or loved their man–made legalistic rules more than they loved people, Jesus spoke out against them in no uncertain terms.

7/8/2008 3:10:26 PM - The bottom line is our motive. Jesus always did what he did because he loved God and he loved people. He attacked evil and wrong head on because it was destructive to those whom God loves—us. Furthermore, Jesus always spoke with authority but was never authoritarian, rigid, controlling or manipulative because he always acted out of pure motives and had no hidden agenda. What we need to do if we are going to make an impact in our world is, first of all, to acknowledge our own shortcomings and with God's help, work to overcome these. Second, we need to love the things God loves and hate the things he hates and speak out against the things God hates as Jesus did. We need to be angry with these too. We simply cannot love righteousness without hating unrighteousness. Remember that meekness is not weakness, and also the words of Edmund Burke who said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me the insight to discern that which is right and that which is wrong, and give me the courage to stand up and be counted, speak out against and confront the wrong, but always in a loving and Christ–like manner. And help me always to be willing to do my part to bring about change. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen." In short? Grow up girls.

7/8/2008 3:21:24 PM - At some point in our lives we feel that there is more to life, that there is a force out there greater than we are, and who shares our concerns and cares for us. Sometimes we just feel lonely, depressed, feel down, suicidal, in the depths of despair, desperate, with nothing to live for. I am a follower of Jesus, and whether you believe in God or not, I hope this finds you at peace with yourself and remember....................LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THY SELF.

7/8/2008 6:40:09 PM - Standing, smiling and bowing, my hat is off to the above poster! She nailed him to a tee. All the fat women were GOOD enough as long as he was getting money from them! Telling us how much he loved us all, and how divorced he was. Right Randy? Just give me the money, if we hadn't caught on; how much more and how many more women would YOU have conned? And it is so very nice that you TOLD your friend, I am sure he's laughing at you as well. All your friends in MD who you said were loosers, still doing drugs, living in houses that you suspected were bought with drug money. How you were skeptical about hanging around them, scared you'd get busted! So it's fine that you've conned your stuff from good women, who loved the man you presented yourself to be. Oh and as far as Christian, you may quote God's word, but do CHRISTIAN married men cheat on their wife? Do they lie about being married? Do they tell you they are men of their word and never try to make good on their word? Do they call the women who gave you all they could the names you've called us? Praytell, do you consider this Godly?

7/8/2008 8:17:26 PM - THIS SURVEY WAS PUT HERE TO WARN OTHER WOMEN OF HIS ANTICTS. SO NO ONE ELSE WOULD BE CONNED BY ONE SAID, GEORGE RANDOLPH HOPPER. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT IS WHY HE WAS PUT HERE. HE SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE TRUTH, REMEMBERING HE IS MARRIED, REMEMBERING HOW MUCH MONEY HE'S BORROWED, REMEMBERING OBLIGATIONS THAT HE SWORE BY...FIRST REMARK ON 3-24-08, NOT QUIET A YEAR? LESS THAN 4 MONTHS? SIMPLE MATH WAS ALWAYS A CHALLENGE.

7/9/2008 5:48:28 AM - THIS SURVEY WAS PUT HERE TO WARN OTHER WOMEN OF HIS ANTICTS. SO NO ONE ELSE WOULD BE CONNED BY ONE SAID, GEORGE RANDOLPH HOPPER. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT IS WHY HE WAS PUT HERE. HE SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE TRUTH, REMEMBERING HE IS MARRIED, REMEMBERING HOW MUCH MONEY HE'S BORROWED, REMEMBERING OBLIGATIONS THAT HE SWORE BY

7/9/2008 7:16:33 AM - Did you include HIM, his WIFE and all his friends in MD? The private detective wanting to talk with him as well? IF so, then you can drasticly reduce the amount of visits per the ladies who you blame for all of this. You difinately do not have a problem clicking here now do you? So be sure to add yourself in as well. Thanks for your comments.

7/28/2008 9:24:08 AM -

8/3/2008 8:16:02 PM - to the person who posted on 7-8, that was directed by the x-mis hopper, you have things a little mixed up. Judy, Winnie, and Lynn are a couple of the women in AK. Lynn is the one who posted a strip tease, and other assorted poses and videos, NOT Judy, Winnie is married, but then again so is he. Judy is the one that he worked for and was paid, which most of the work was, AND loaned him money. We were introduced by Lynn to have this work done, after he convinced me that he was NOT seeing Lynn ("no way, have you seen her lately? We had "frustrated" sex twice, about a year ago") and that he was legally separated, we started "dating". I loaned him money using my visa to make payments on the RV and a TV that he rented and then sold, also his vet bills so he could take his dogs with him when he left, all of which I have receipts for. These are the monies I would like to have paid back, I won my small claims case and have sent the papers to his only known address, his mothers. I am now dating a wonderful, very divorced, honest, responsible, dependable, one woman man, that has a real job, real vehicles, paid for, by himself, two homes, also paid for, has money set aside for his grown sons and his own retirement. Not that money is the basis of a relationship, however, he is financially secure and will not be borrowing money from anyone, let alone a woman. I want nothing to do with Randy, I have already written off the money he owes me as a very hard, expensive lesson and moved on. I hope the others can do the same. FYI, I did not start this site, have not lied or trashed him, yes, I was angry when I found out about ALL (?)the others, but I was not the one that wanted to "blow his brains out", I never tried to take his RV from him, why the hell would I want an rv? or pay him to stay here, please, good by to bad rubbish,I am not pinining away for him, could really care less what happens to him, just wanted to set the record straight. Judy

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8/15/2008 11:18:18 AM - 8/15/2008 10:45:09 AM - You want to know why you have so much anger inside? This is the TRUTH, are you ready for the answer? The reason is, you are not happy with yourself and the things that you do. You are angry at the person you have become. You are disappointed in yourself. If you had any self worth at all, you would not be doing the things that you do. At this point, I'm not sure counseling, God, or any one person in this world can help you. You have to be the man you say you are, and help yourself! Until you do, you will always have this anger you can't control. You will continue to lose people who would give their last breath so you could live. People who suffer so you don't have to. God will never bless you with good things as long as you continue on this destructive path you have set for yourself. It is understandable how hard it can be to live with someone you hate, yourself! It doesn't matter where you go on this earth. You cannot escape yourself. May God give you the strength to be the person you have the potential to be. (Don't forget to add a star below so we know you read this). AMEN AND AMEN

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8/22/2008 1:04:43 PM - "Just like the need for love has its associated behaviors, so too does the need for power. Care taking can be part of both motives. The need for power is also accompanied by controlling and aggressive behavior. The degree of control and aggression shown in a relationship is a sign of the amount of power motivation that is behind that relationship. If you think about it you already know I am right. There is a saying, ”If you love someone set him free. If he comes back to you he’s yours, if not he never was.” A sociopath/psychopath can never set anyone free because he/she can’t love. Sociopaths/psychopaths can only own or possess. Of course a sociopath/psychopath is going to cry when alone or if someone abandons him/her. The sociopath/psychopath just lost all of his/her power. That is very upsetting you know! Now that I have beat that to death, please understand that love motivation can either be deficient or absent. Therefore power motivation can either be somewhat excessive or the only motivating force in a person’s life. Excessive power motivation makes people emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and physically sick. It also makes them evil." Lovefraud Site

8/22/2008 1:08:39 PM - "It is my belief that knowledge is a gift to be shared. I learned a lot through the ‘Jack’ experience. Learned about narcissism, sociopaths/psychopaths. About liars and abusers. And, I learned about being free. About turning up for me, in all my cuts and bruises, to stand tall and proud, a victor in my own life. Helping others is not about getting even with the abuser. It’s about ensuring people know their rights, their duty and responsibility to be true to themselves. It’s about helping them understand they have the power to cut the ties that bind them to someone else’s abuse — and to help them find their courage to do it. " Lovefraud.com's site

8/22/2008 1:09:48 PM - “In today’s environment, hoarding knowledge ultimately erodes your power. If you know something very important, the way to get power is by actually sharing it.” Joseph Bardaracco

8/22/2008 1:11:31 PM - "Everyday, survivors of these affairs stumble into this sight and take heart at the words written here by those who have journeyed through similar darkness. In our sharing we brighten the road and lighten the load of those who have fallen behind us. In our sharing, we illuminate the path for others to follow. I never expected to be given the gift of helping someone involved with the same man I was. When first I read her words and thought about my response, I wondered if I was doing it out of vindictiveness, or was I truly coming from a loving heart. I questioned myself to ensure I stood true to me, my values, principles and beliefs. And then, in the end, I realized – my heart belongs to me. In helping someone else, I am not going after him, I am going after what is right – sharing what I know and have learned so that someone else can find their way out of the darkness." Lovefraud.com

8/22/2008 1:12:54 PM - "For the woman who wrote me, the story has a happy ending. She got him out of her house. For his new girlfriend, the story continues. She did not heed their advice. Did not want to hear what they said about him. I know where she’s at. I know how scared she is and how frightened and alone she feels. I cannot change her path. I cannot alter her course. I can only continue to do what I do to create a world of peace around me: speak out against abuse and speak up for those who have lost their voice." Lovefraud.com

8/22/2008 1:19:26 PM - "I have discussed sociopathy as the combination of narcissistic personality traits and antisocial behavior. I can now say a few more things about psychotherapy and behavior therapy for sociopaths. Most therapy is aimed at reducing the antisocial behaviors that are so central to the disorder. Therapy has been found to be effective in reducing antisocial behaviors in people who are at the lower end of psychopathy/sociopathy. The high end folks are characterized by greater treatment resistance and more difficulty with change. At the higher end of psychopathy, we see people who are very narcissistic and very antisocial. This combination is especially treatment resistant because grandiose people never think they have a problem. If you are struggling to break away from a very harmful, antisocial, narcissistic person please help yourself by spending time with some loving, prosocial people. If you do not have anything to contrast the sociopath’s behavior to, it is easy to forget how abnormal they are. Even according to the most lenient criteria, psychopaths at most make up 10 percent of the population. Ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is at heart, worse than an “ordinary scoundrel.” LOVEFRAUD.COM

8/22/2008 1:41:06 PM - Editor’s note: The trauma inflicted by the psychopath is so great that many of us turn to God and our religious traditions to find a way out of the pain. The following essay refers to Christianity, and although Lovefraud is not a religious site, we recognize the importance of religious beliefs to many people and honor all religious and spiritual practices. By Ox Drover For my whole life I felt that I could never measure up because I was expected to “pretend it never happened” in order to meet my mother’s definition of the word “forgive.” I was expected to trust the person who had hurt me in the past, and who I knew would hurt me again in the future. I was told by religious leaders, whom I trusted, that if I did not “pretend it didn’t happen” and “truly forgive,” I was bound for an eternal residence in hellfire and brimstone. Many of us who are Christians know the various Bible passages that say, in essence, we must “forgive those who trespass against us” if we expect God to forgive us of our own wrongdoing. Jesus, as our ultimate example, from the cross said, “Father forgive them…” How can we mortal human beings possibly expect to be able to truly forgive those people who have so deliberately ripped our lives apart? CONT.....

8/22/2008 1:41:48 PM - After the “Summer of Chaos,” as I have come to call my last run in with the psychopaths, I was so devastated, so angry, so bitter, so filled with wrath that I could only focus on the many details of the many crimes and arrows that had been slung at me so very unfairly by so many members of my family. I was filled from top to bottom with bitterness and anger. I am fortunate that I have several well-educated ministers in my acquaintance that I could call upon for advice, as well as reading the Bible for myself. After talking to these men at great length, I finally came to the question, does “forgiveness” really mean “pretending it didn’t happen, and restoring trust to these people?” Does “love your enemies” really mean that I have to have a “gushy” feeling for these people who have harmed me so easily and with so much glee? After much reading of the scriptures and talking with the various ministers (of several denominations) I came to a new definition of the word “forgiveness” that I think is more rational and makes more sense than my mother’s definition of “let’s just pretend none of this ever happened.” (She actually said this aloud.) The new definitions of love and forgiveness are these. Forgiveness does not mean “pretend it never happened.” Forgiveness means to get the bitterness and wrath out of your heart toward those that have wronged you. For example, when Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, I am sure that he was very justifiably angry with these brothers for doing this to him. They demoted him from the status of “favored son” to the status of an animal that was bought and sold. CONTINUED

8/22/2008 1:43:34 PM - The Bible tells us, though, that Joseph got the bitterness out of his heart toward his brothers during the many years he was in Egypt. But when his brothers miraculously appeared before him, not, of course, recognizing that their brother was now second only to the Pharaoh, Joseph did not immediately identify himself to his brothers, “Hey, guys, it’s me, the brother you sold off as a slave!” But Joseph did test his brothers to see what kind of men they had become in those same years. Were they the same uncaring, jealous men that they had been when they had cast him into the pit, and grieved their aged father with a tale about him being torn apart by some wild animal, taking his blood-stained cloak back to his father as proof of his death, not caring that they were bringing grief upon their father’s head with the tale of his death? Or had they learned anything? Had they changed? Joseph had forgiven his brothers, but he still didn’t trust them until after they had passed his tests to see what kind of men they were. Putting all this together then gave me a new definition of “forgiveness,” and it was simply the removing of the smoldering anger, the thirst for revenge, the gnawing hate for them. I was not required by God or good sense to trust these same people, or to “pretend they had not done what they did.” Forgiveness was an act, not a feeling. Looking at “love your enemies” in the same way, I saw that “love” meant to do good to those that persecute you rather than take advantage to hurt them if you can. The story of the future King David fleeing from the jealous and murderous King Saul illustrates that David “loved” King Saul even though Saul was seeking to find and kill David. Twice David had a chance to kill Saul when Saul didn’t even know he was there, and both times, David did not kill Saul, but let him move on his way. Loving our enemies simply means that we must not try to seek revenge against them, even if we can, we must do what is right, even if we have a chance to do what is wrong, no matter how they have wronged us. continued

8/22/2008 1:44:12 PM - I came away from that summer of spiritual questioning with a new awareness of the concepts of the Bible’s teachings, which even if a person is not a believer in the Bible’s divine inspiration, still are psychologically sound. Harboring, nurturing, and feeding anger, wrath, thoughts of revenge, may chemically light up the pleasure centers of our evolutionary brain, but in the long term, these strong and negative emotions prevent our healing. Short-term, anger is a very natural and normal part of the process we go through when we are injured. Long-term, like any other intense reactive emotion, anger/bitterness becomes a stressor in and of itself, keeping us from thinking rationally and reasonably, and focused only on the injury. Sure, we were injured and we will never forget that injury (injuries) or the person who did them to us, but we will learn from that experience with the psychopath, learn how to prevent another “P-experience” and live a better life because of our knowledge. But trust them, ever again? Not on your life! Getting the bitterness out of our hearts, focusing on ourselves and our own healing, instead of on the hateful bitter vengeful feelings toward them, turns us in a positive direction, so that we can come to peace with the past, What do I get out of “forgiving” those that have hurt me so much when they get off “scot-free?”

8/22/2008 1:44:59 PM - Well, first of all, I don’t get upset every time I think about them, or look at something that reminds me of them. Secondly, I am not mad all the time. I can focus on other things besides the hurts that have been inflicted on me. In order to keep my anger up, I would have to focus a great deal of energy on thinking about the past injuries, pulling the scabs off the wounds so that they would continue to bleed. So I save a lot of energy in fueling this old anger that I can now focus on other more positive things. Thirdly, my spirituality and my spiritual health are not impeded by this mass of anger and negative feelings. My stress level can now drop because these old injuries start to heal and the pain is lessened because of the healing. I am now more in tune with myself and my own needs, since I am no longer focusing all my energy on the injuries. Fourthly, now that I am no longer angry all the time, I am not so prone to see insult and injury where none is intended. I have more patience with those I love and that love me. I have more patience with myself, and don’t turn this negative energy toward myself at times. I can set reasonable boundaries instead of letting things seethe and then blowing up about some minor problem that in the light of a non-angry mind isn’t worth worrying about. It lets me put things in a reasonable perspective. Forgiving our enemies isn’t about them, it is all about US. Forgiving them allows us to heal from the wounds they inflicted. Hating and not forgiving them just allows them to go on re-injuring us forever. LOVEFRAUD.COM

8/29/2008 5:43:55 PM -

9/2/2008 5:05:18 AM - A list for leaving the sociopath behind Tuesday, 26 August 2008 @ 7:37am • My Weblog by AlohaTraveler How many of us have a list, or know someone who does, of the ideal qualities we are looking for in THE ONE? I think these lists can sometimes cause us to miss out on someone quite wonderful because we get so attached to a check list. But that’s another topic. I have a different kind of list. It could be called the list of EXACTLY what I DO NOT want in a life partner! This list has helped me to heal and come to terms with the reality of the Bad Man. While going through my things this morning, I found a piece of binder paper with a list I had written about the Bad Man in the early stages of my healing. It was written sometime within the first year after I had left him. The list represents a free flowing string of words and phrases that describe the Bad Man. Before I found LoveFraud, I was aware that my thoughts of the Bad Man seemed to swing back and forth between never wanting to hear from him again to hoping somehow he would learn, apologize and we would live happily ever after. I didn’t totally understand why this was so and it was perplexing, given my descriptive list. Bad Man was not the clever sociopath that many of the readers here talk about. Don’t get me wrong. He was very smart and charismatic. But I didn’t get blind sided or robbed behind my back like many readers. He was fairly abusive and inappropriate in the first few weeks though he used all of the customary word games and mind tricks. Still, I find it a little embarrassing to admit that I put up with way too much right from the get-go. Looking back, in what context would name calling ever be okay? LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:06:19 AM - Reality Checks Bad Man wasn’t all flowers and charming words. I got flowers. I got love notes. But for the most part, the list below describes him best. I wrote this list for myself to use as a means of staying in touch with reality when I felt my heart softening again for him. When I had those moments, I went to my list to remind myself of the destructive, abusive, nightmare that he truly was. Now, I find it amusing how well I was describing a narcissist or a borderline without the understanding I have now of personality disorders. A second paper I found contained the transcription of his last four text messages to me before I called my cell phone carrier and asked the operator to cut the line. I will never forget the tears of relief as I watched the lights go out on my cell phone. At the top of the page of verbal venom, I wrote, “Words to remember you by.” These messages were hateful, vicious, twisted, and untrue. Every six months or so, I run across these two papers. They don’t really hurt me now. Each time I read them, I see more clearly the pathology driving the Bad Man. For some reason, I save these pages. I haven’t included the text messages in this article because they are very personal attacks on me and no one would benefit from reading them. I certainly didn’t. Still, I save them because reading those hateful messages makes it totally clear that I made the right choice in leaving him and eventually going No Contact. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:07:02 AM - To Stay on Track, Be Honest with Yourself I have a gentle suggestion for anyone that is still struggling with that feeling of wanting the pathological abuser/exploiter back. Create your own list using words that describe what happened to you like this: Bad Man/Woman = constant liar, cheater, infantile, fraudulent, etc. Use the words that ring most true for you. Then tuck away your list in a place where you can access it whenever you feel yourself getting off track. Or, if you are really struggling, post it on the bathroom mirror or keep it in your purse for instant reality checks! Read it over and over, as often as you need. Use the list to replace those moments of longing. My list helped me many times in the early days. Whenever I run across the list, I read it through. It reminds me to be thankful for my life for what it is, and what it isn’t, today. LOVEFRAUD.COM Here is

9/2/2008 5:07:57 AM - Here is my list. Introducing… the Bad Man Controlling Manipulative Hypocritical Attacks me Judges me Does not see himself Isolates me Name calling Spin Doctor Secret Abuser Advises and “counsels” me on “anger issues” but does not control his own anger Self Righteous Inflated Super Ego Cheap Selfish Petty Twisted Omits the truth Manipulates people Inappropriate No boundaries Uses People E-mail bombs Possessive Scares Me Emotional Abuse Mind F*** Perverted Gee, I wonder why I don’t miss him. NOT! LOVEFRAUD.COM LOVE

9/2/2008 5:08:31 AM - The Truth, a Lesson, and Peace Imagine if the Bad Man’s personal dating profile was the list above. He doesn’t sound very appealing does he? This, of course, is not how he describes himself. That is why it is important to write down the truth. I wrote my list in one of those raw, painful moments, standing on the edge of “the Fog” as we say. My list is me, speaking to… me. It is the rope I clung to whenever I started to dangle over that black hole again. The list is the TRUTH. In the days when I still missed him, it was all about the fantasy of the Bad Man, the great seducer. Today, I am learning to pay more attention to what I see and not so much to what people say. This is fundamental to restoring faith in myself because I let myself down. I need to trust myself to assess a situation and trust what I see (ie.: intimidation, blame shifting, hypocrisy, etc.). I need to stand up for me when life calls for it. No one should be able to talk me out of my instincts to protect myself and my spirit. That was far too easy in the past. This was one of the lessons I needed to learn. If you chose to do an exercises like my list, it may bring up a lot of pain but ultimately, it is meant to bring you clarity and eventually peace. When I look at this list today, I feel peaceful knowing that I left this man in the dust. There was no other choice. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:14:10 AM - Crimes of Persuasion: Schemes, Scams, Frauds Friday, 29 August 2008 @ 11:52am • My Weblog Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman who was married to a con artist for over 5 years and she didn’t know it. The man she met online, had married her representing himself as a “hedge fund manager.” She helped him entertain clients who invested in his company. He also had a business partner, someone who had known him for over 10 years. That business partner was also conned and lost a great deal of money. It turned out that everything about the man other than these two very real people was a sham. Every word out of his mouth was spoken as part of some pathological lie. The man is without doubt a sociopath/psychopath and con artist. In the aftermath of being taken both personally and financially everyone who knew this con artist is asking why and how. It is in the spirit of these questions that I recommend to you a book, Crimes of Persuasion: Schemes, Scams, Frauds. How con artists will steal your savings and inheritance through telemarketing fraud, investment schemes and consumer scams. The book is written by Les Henderson a salesman and successful businessman who studied frauds and scams for 5 years before writing this book. There are three aspects to this book that make it a resource for all victims of sociopaths. First, it provides a good list of the typical “occupations” that sociopaths work as con artists. In that regard it describes how con artists do what they do. If you are wondering whether someone is a sociopath AND that person happens to work one of these occupations, you can stop wondering and start assuming. The book briefly discusses victim psychology. It is not only the wives and family members of sociopathic con artists who suffer trauma. The victims of the sociopath’s financial fraud also suffer trauma that can be severe and lead to suicide. Henderson says, “Fraud crime is a personal violation. Although there is no serious physical injury many victims of con-men speak of the betrayal as the psychological equivalent of rape.” If you have been the victim of fraud, we invite you to share your story and get support here. Lastly but importantly, the book points out in many places that con artists use other people who become their unsuspecting accomplices. People who are used by con artists in this way carry that burden for life. Henderson says, “Family members and business associates may have been financially exploited at your urging, resulting in increased feelings of guilt and blame.” Recently, I spoke with a young man who had been used in this way by a con artist. It is his goal to pay back those who by his recommendation, lost money in the fraud, to the tune of $300,000.00. So far he has earned a third of that, and has saved other victims from foreclosure by helping them financially. I gathered from our conversation that the young man stayed sane with his goal of restoring his friends/ family and helping other victims. As Henderson says, “The dread becomes immeasurable, unrelated to specifics, just an all encompassing blanket of depression.” We have all felt that. Here are links to fraud related web sites: Crimes-of-persuasion.com Fraudaid.com How to deal with having been conned LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:15:27 AM - WORTH Repeating from the message above: “Fraud crime is a personal violation. Although there is no serious physical injury many victims of con-men speak of the betrayal as the psychological equivalent of rape.”

9/2/2008 5:21:37 AM - After the sociopath is gone: Inspired Change Sunday, 24 August 2008 @ 9:31am • My Weblog I receive a weekly newsletter from Brian Willis at Winning Mind Training. In his latest newsletter he quotes Lon Bartel, a law enforcement trainer in Arizona who said, “People change out of desperation or inspiration. Desperation results in short term change. Inspiration, results in powerful and lasting change.” When I was in relationship with the sociopath, I made desperate changes. Living in constant fear, I was desperate to keep him happy. In my desperation, I contorted and distorted myself to fit the image he told me I had to fit. Most of what I did was about keeping him happy and my life, as it were, intact. Often, the changes I made were ‘inspired’ by his anger. I would do just about anything not to have to experience his anger, and he knew it. Because I believed him when he told me I could never be free of him, I didn’t look beyond the narrow corridor of my life with him, to see that away from him was where real change happened. Away from him was where my freedom started. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:22:12 AM - Using intermittent reinforcement, he trained me to be his co-conspirator in my self-destruction. He would rage and I would succumb. The breaks between rage and ‘happiness’ grew shorter and shorter, and I became less and less willing to tempt the fates by disagreeing with him. I learned very quickly that my silence and acquiescence bought his ‘good humour’. Eventually, it took less energy on his part to keep me silent as I fell beneath the weight of the sorrow that was pervading my life and my fear of his anger. Desperate for the return of Prince Charming, I kept letting go of what I knew to be right so that I wouldn’t have to face the Prince of Darkness raging before me. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:23:00 AM - And then, one day he was arrested and I was set free. In that moment I was inspired to make lasting change. To accept the gift of his removal from my life as a miracle, and to soar free. Lasting change comes easy when we are inspired to create the life of our dreams away from abuse. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:23:33 AM - I am often contacted by women and men who are involved with an abuser. They write to tell me their stories, and to ask me how they can change what is happening in their lives. My response is always — love yourself enough to know you deserve more than his/her abuse. Love yourself as an abused woman/man and give yourself the gift of freedom by naming what he/she is doing and choosing to accept you have the power to change your life. You can’t change him/her. In fact, whether or not he/she can change is not the question. Are you willing to make an inspired change in your life by stepping away from him/her and stopping the abuse in your life? LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:24:18 AM - Sounds easy — it’s not when the abusers voice is roaring through your mind, telling you lies you can’t believe but don’t dare disbelieve. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:24:53 AM - One of the hardest aspects of leaving an abuser is naming what they’re doing as abuse. Our minds recoil from the reality, fall back from the precipice of the truth. How could someone who says they love me, willing, knowingly, consciously choose to hurt me? LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:25:28 AM - Believe it. Name it. They will. They can. They do. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:26:12 AM - Accepting that truth is frightening. If they could do it willingly, then what role do I play in what is happening, in what happened? Answering that is tough. We don’t want to be participants in abuse, and so cannot accept that we had something to do with what has happened to us. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:26:58 AM - The inspired choice, the choice that will create lasting change, is to accept — I am 100% accountable for what happened to me. Doesn’t make what he/she did right. And it doesn’t make me accountable for what he did. Abuse is never right. What it means is, I accept I can’t change the past, or what he’s doing. I can, however, turn up for me today and take 100% responsibility for what I do, right now, in this moment. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:27:32 AM - “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:28:16 AM - It accepting that I am 100% accountable for my life today, I also accept I have the power to make inspired, not desperate changes. I accept the challenge of choosing long term change over short term relief from his/her abuse. Hard stuff. Life changing. Liberating. But hard. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:28:58 AM - When we ‘love’ someone who is an abuser, our minds become twisted into the insanity of their crazy-making behaviours. Love shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, but we begin to accept the pain of loving them as part of the norm of our existence. In that acceptance, we let go of our belief in our right to live free of abuse. For some, living free of abuse has never been their reality. For others, the crazy-making of the abuser is new — and thus, a surprise, an unbelievable occurrence in their lives. Regardless of whether we were conditioned to accept abuse or accept it because of current conditions, we repeatedly explain it away when we say, “I can’t believe this is happening to me”. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:29:53 AM - Believing we are being abused is the first step to creating lasting change. Believing we have the power to change our lives — and acknowledging we cannot change the abuser, is the next step. Inspired change requires courage. It takes guts and it takes a commitment to self that overrides the voices in our heads telling us ‘this (the past, abuse, pain and turmoil…) is all we deserve’. LOVEFRAUD.COM

9/2/2008 5:31:45 AM - No one deserves abuse. No one deserves to live in fear. And no one can give us the gift of freedom except ourselves. LOVEFRAUD.COM I have seen plenty of truth in reading the above, and can only hope that some of the other women harmed by this man's cons and lies are able to learn and move forward after reading this information.

9/2/2008 5:37:25 AM - The Bible Tells Us That LOVE BELIEVES THE BEST IN EVERY PERSON. I did believe in him, and I tried to believe that he would not tell me he loved me and do the things he has, but the truth does come out, and now I see this man for what he is, a very sad, lost soul, who struggles with knowing the truth. God forgive him and thank you for opening my eyes.

9/9/2008 4:08:35 PM -

9/10/2008 8:56:00 AM - Talking about the sociopath So how do you talk to people about your experience with sociopaths? I think two preliminary steps are necessary: First, you need to educate yourself about sociopaths. (The fact that there is so much confusion about what to call them—sociopaths, psychopaths, antisocials—doesn’t help.) Learn that millions of people have the disorder. Although there are symptoms and warning signs, these people are experts at hiding them. Treatment options are few to none. Everyone will run across a sociopath at some point, and if they don’t recognize the predator, they will become a target. Second, you need to be able to discuss sociopaths as an educator, not as a victim. This means you probably are not going to be able to do it while the experience is raw. If you’re still coping with the pain, horror, self-doubt and grief, your friends and family will interpret your words as self-pity, and will come back with the refrain, “Get over it, already.” During the early phases of your recovery, it’s probably best to express yourself with the understanding community here at Lovefraud, rather than with your personal acquaintances who, however well-meaning, simply don’t understand. But eventually, if you give yourself time and permission to heal, you will. And then, with your understanding of this destructive personality disorder, and your personal experience, you’ll be able to talk knowledgably about sociopaths to your friends and family. They’ll begin to understand, and start to recognize sociopaths on their own. When you’re ready, you’ll be able to shine a light on these predators, and perhaps deny them a few victims. And that will lend some meaning of your awful experience. Thanks be to LOVEFRAUD that I am able to know this happens to more women than just me. With people who try to educate us, rather than tell us to get over it, everyone has been hurt, these people OPEN our eyes to the sociopaths ways and let us KNOW that we are not alone. This man is well within the reams of SOCIOPATHIC Behavior. Thanks LOVEFRAUD

9/10/2008 9:11:37 AM - LOVEFRAUD--Sound familiar? You’re right, other people who have not been close to a P do not understand the mind games but here we all do. All of us have been conned in some way or another and none of us should feel guilty for being their targets. I believe they could succeed with most people given the right circumstances and information. In most societies we are programmed to forgive and give the benefit of the doubt - a principal that plays beautifully into the game of a deceiver. Add to that well meaning ‘advice’ from others who don’t really understand the disorder and it is not surprising that many of us take so long to heal. We need to remind ourselves of what actually happened to us and resist second guessing. If you truly comprehend what these disordered people can do then you can forgive yourself and lay the blame firmly at the door of the guilty one - the P. Forgivness in the sense of forgiving them is a difficult one for me as there will never be any acknowledgement of wrong doing. Instead I simply try to accept what has been done and know that it was not actually personal. I was just a number in a long line of numbers.

9/10/2008 9:12:46 AM - Another from LOVEFRAUD--I have forgiven him but not myself. It’s been 6 months since I last talked to my S and there are some days where I keep asking myself why I let him take control of everything in my life, from my heart to my wallet to my bank account. Forgiving myself is easier said than done but I had to forgive him because I know he’s sick and he somehow can’t help doing what he does “for a living” and also because the burden was too heavy to carry. That being said, I don’t know how I would react if I were to be alone in the same room with him…would I let him go or would I want to rip his heart out like he did mine?

9/10/2008 9:14:14 AM - LOVEFRAUD---I really admire your honesty. It’s a service to women. I too had many episodes of poor behavior which caused me much shame. Shame can cause us to blame others or blame our sleves ..neither being useful in a world so chaotic….shame is only useful when you are willing to make that change. And you only have to be willing to make the start of the journey. I had to change — I didn’t want to get another p in my life and I didn’t want to become a psychopath. When slaying the beast make sure you don’t become the beast. I cannot change anyone only myelf. I used to have a mantra. Your actions will not change me. They will not make me a whore, or a psycho. I am a woman of principles today. I answer to God. No one else. In forgiving myself I can learn to forgive. If I can make mistakes so can you. We are only the children of God trying to make our way in this world.

9/10/2008 9:19:36 AM - These were posted so that other could relate as I have. I hope there's more healing than hurting these days, and that Randy one day does get help. He'll never acknowledge the "cons"...in HIS mind he's done nothing wrong. None of us would have done for him the things we have, IF we'd known his sociopathic behaviors prior, he stole our hearts, love and trust along with our money.

9/10/2008 2:29:31 PM -

9/12/2008 11:02:32 AM -

9/17/2008 1:43:55 PM - Compulsion to decieve, is controling him.

11/24/2008 1:22:55 PM -

11/24/2008 1:24:18 PM - They are a devastating storm that changes lives forever in the aftermath. They hit and run, never to be found guilty or to pay for the devastation, because people like this do not feel empathy and don’t understand the pain they have caused. They don’t have consciences and so they continue the devastation somewhere else. They don’t care and never did. They have become good at imitating the emotions that normal people display and truly feel. Still I try to make sense of something senseless, irrational. There are no answers, even in finding out the truth. I loved this man. I forgave him many times. He projected all his sins on to me. He called me names and verbally abused me. He left me often. He lied and cheated. And for a while, even my friends and family thought me to be the one who was insane…because I still loved him and forgave him and I let him back in. Still he walked away blaming me and talking badly about me. I want that loving innocence back again. I despise him, mostly for stealing that away from me. (does this sound like the Randy that conned us?)

11/24/2008 1:25:09 PM - I have read many books, participated in blogs and message boards, have corresponded with professionals and have had therapy with a wonderful doctor who understands sociopathy and personality disorders. Still there is no logic and there is no closure. It must be found through realizing: 1. I was targeted at a vulnerable time. 2. I was targeted because of the good qualities about me. 3. He is not a good man. He is disordered and will never heal or improve. 4. He did this to others and will continue to do this. 5. My good standards will not be lowered again and I have a zero tolerance for what I have learned is the definition of abuse. 6. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. Abuse is not just verbal or physical. It comes in many forms. At a minimum I require respect, honesty, integrity and it must be displayed by way of actions, not words. This man was not able to follow through on anything. His actions were almost never consistent with his words. He is simply a fake, a phony, a con man, who conned me into giving him my heart, my love and almost my mind and soul. Not one thing was real about him, not his body, or his being. I don’t think I will ever forgive him and I certainly will never forget. I have, however, forgiven myself, as I have learned that this can happen to ANYONE. None of us is free from the grasp of the sociopath. (Forgiving yourself for believing in him is tough, but it can be done)

11/25/2008 9:40:44 AM - Have no fear, from what I hear, all are living in perfect harmony.

12/2/2008 6:45:46 AM - Below is a posting from "love fraud", I read it in awe as this person so totally described the range of emotions and deceptions that Randy Hopper has protrayed. This could have and for all I know may have been written about him. The Mask of a Sociopath... Enjoy.

12/2/2008 6:46:39 AM - The Mask of a Sociopath Saturday, 29 November 2008 @ 5:10am • My Weblog By Peggywhoever All sociopaths wear a mask. The mask of kindness. The mask of generosity. The mask of romance. The mask of attraction. The mask of intimacy. The mask of seduction. And so on. This is what reels us in. The pretense. The acting. The mask. The mask of perfection. And we, in our infinite loving goodness, reflect that mask back to them. The perfect mirrored reflection of beauty and adoration. And then one day, that mask cracks. You remember the moment.. The moment when you look in their eyes and you KNOW the truth about them. The moment you recognize the pathological lies, the deception, the manipulation, the con. The game is up. And from that moment on, your relationship with the sociopath is forever changed. This moment happened for me when…after middle of the night phone calls to his house and cell phone…I looked into his eyes and I KNEW. I knew he was having an affair, and that he was a liar. A year’s worth of investigation (yes, obsessing) has confirmed that nearly everything he told me was a lie. From that point forward, the cruelty begins. Name-calling. Shouting. Out-of-control rage. Accusations of what you have…and have not done for them. Assaults on your character. Disparaging remarks. Outright slander. Saying horrible things about you to everyone who will listen. The smear campaign begins in full force.

12/2/2008 6:47:56 AM - Once the mask slips, you have a full view of who the sociopath actually is. Nothing is hidden from you anymore. They are the most hateful person you have ever encountered. I equate the mask with a coin…beautiful, golden, intricately detailed and engraved on one side, and the cheapest, molten metal, with indistinguishable or hideous features on the other. I thought my sociopath had a brain tumor. I couldn’t comprehend how someone who had seemingly been so kind, generous, and thoughtful…seemingly a “knight in shining armor”, turned into such a dark knight—instantaneously. Heartless. Cold. Unfeeling. Unsympathetic. Lying. Cheating. Berating. Chillingly frightening. Brrr. After the mask cracks and you see their naked hatred, they become vengeful. It is as if they become your mortal enemy; even though you still love them and may try to salvage the relationship. And then they usually become cowardly. If you try to expose them, they will use every amount of charm and conning in their power to figuratively and verbally disarm you. (They are very good at this; they have a lifetime of practice). They will attempt to dissemble your character piece-by-piece. They will not allow you to confront them with the truth; it is almost as if they become fearful of you and will try to retaliate against you with every piece of personal information they have garnered about you. Oh yes, and they will project upon you the very things that they are doing (and which you are innocent of). And they will tell unimaginable lies about you…that you are vile, manipulative, conning, vindictive, lying, and of course, crazy. Some of these whoppers are so monstrous that they can even ruin relationships you’ve had with family members and close friends. Everything is your fault, and they are the victim.

12/2/2008 6:48:36 AM - It is important to realize that just because you have seen their “true” self, they can still be extremely adept at keeping their mask intact for others. I have seen my sociopath go from screaming at me to laughing and smiling while speaking to someone on the phone…within 30 seconds. But you will most likely never see that initial charm again…unless there is something very specific they want from you. And generally it is a very short time after you see their true self, no longer a reflection of beauty and adoration, that they will leave you. Or perhaps they already have their victim lined up. Because the sociopath cannot tolerate seeing their imperfections through your eyes. They will begin the romance phase, and once again have adoration from their next target. And the next. Then the one after that. It is an awakening moment, when the mask slips. You are witnessing humanity at its very worst. (If they can be deemed “human”…I prefer to think of them as aliens). No matter how attractive you initially thought they were, a sociopath is actually very, very ugly…beneath the mask.

12/2/2008 6:56:08 AM - George Randolph Hopper's picture will be back up as soon as WS has scanned them all for viruses, probably after the holidays. Have no fear, his mug will appear. He will not be able to deny that this is about him. So for anyone who has googled him and found the site and he is denying that this is about him. He is approximately 6' tall(his height varies as does his lies, 6' to 6'1"),220 lbs, no tone to his arms, and he is a carpenter? has dark brown eyes, has dark brown hair to his waist, has a mole on his left cheek that is more red than brown, is missing a front tooth, as a very thick bush mustashe that helps hide the missing front tooth, unless of course he's finally had it repaired, he drives a blue gmc pick-up extended cab, has a black 08 softtail harley...and does come across as very kind, humble and loving until he gets all he feels he can from you, or you learn of his con. He will always tell you that he will repay you every dime that he may have borrowed, don't hold your breath, he's a master at his con. He also quotes the Bible and will tell you he'll not go to hell for lying and stealing.

12/2/2008 6:57:40 AM - The mole is closer to the jaw bone.

12/3/2008 9:46:00 AM - He's grown another one? Oh dear! Guess when you are a mole you tend to sprout them!

12/9/2008 6:14:25 AM - A Lovefraud reader posted the following comment awhile back: I just have one question for everyone here. Does anyone trust people after these sick people did what they did to us? Unfortunately for me … I have run across a few of these sickos but NONE like my ex. Whoever I meet now I’m thinking to myself, who is this person really? Do they have a secret life like the Scott Petersons and Ted Bundys of this world? I don’t let my children out of my sight and I’m already training my kids and they all know the signs of a sociopath especially my girls. I feel like I’m in a prison sometimes in my mind as I try so hard but just can’t trust anyone. Yes, it is possible to trust again. Remember, sociopaths account for 1% to 4% of the population, depending on how the personality disorder is defined. Let’s bump the number of disordered people up to 10% to account for those who have sociopathic traits, but maybe not the full disorder. That still means that 90% of the population are not sociopaths, and may be deserving of our trust. So how can we feel trust again? How do we determine whom to trust? I think there are four components to being able to feel trust, and deciding who deserves to be trusted.

12/9/2008 6:15:03 AM - 1. Educate ourselves One of the statements I’ve heard over and over again, through e-mails and phone calls from victims, is this: “I didn’t know such evil existed.” Well, now we know. We’ve all learned, mostly the hard way, about sociopaths. Now that we know they exist, we need to educate ourselves about the warning signs, the patterns of behavior that may indicate someone is disordered. Lies, irresponsibility, vague answers to questions, no long-term friends, new in town, magnetic charm, lavish flattery, statements that don’t add up, flashes of violence—if we start seeing the signs, we need to put up our guard.

12/9/2008 6:15:48 AM - 2. Believe our own instincts Just about everyone who was victimized by a sociopath had early warning signs—a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, an instinctive revulsion, questions about what was seen or heard. Unfortunately, we ignored the signals. We didn’t believe the signals for three reasons: We didn’t have the empirical knowledge that evil exists (see above), so we didn’t know how interpret them. We viewed ourselves as open-minded individuals, and believed that everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. We allowed the sociopath to explain away our questions and doubts. Never again. We should never doubt our instincts. In fact, we should train ourselves to pay attention to our instincts. Our intuition is absolutely the best tool we have for steering clear of sociopaths.

12/9/2008 6:16:37 AM - 3. Make people earn our trust I had a blind spot. I am a forthright, trustworthy person. I would never think of lying to someone. Unfortunately, I thought everyone else was like me. Big mistake. My younger brother’s life philosophy is probably more useful. His rule of thumb: “Everyone is an a**hole until proven otherwise.” The point is that we should not give our trust away indiscriminately. People must earn our trust by consistent, reliable and truthful behavior. Important caveat: Sociopaths often appear to be trustworthy, dependable and honest in the beginning, while they’re trying to hook us. So if the good behavior slips, and bad behavior starts to appear, we must recognize the change as a big red flag.

12/9/2008 6:17:39 AM - 4. Process our pain I think the biggest roadblock to being able to trust again is our own pain. After an encounter with a sociopath, we’ve been deceived, betrayed, injured, emotionally crushed. We are angry and bitter, and rightfully so. But if we want to move on, we can’t keep carrying the pain around. To get rid of the pain, we must allow ourselves to feel it. I recommend that, either privately or with the guidance of a good therapist, we let the tears and curses flow. Expressing the pain physically, without hurting yourself or others, also helps. My favorite technique was pounding pillows with my fists. You may want to stomp your feet, twist towels or chop wood. For more on this, read Releasing the pain inflicted by a sociopath.

12/9/2008 6:18:23 AM - Trust and love It is important to be able to trust again. Doubting and disbelieving everyone we meet is a dismal way to live. If we cannot recover our trust in humanity, the sociopath who plagued us will have truly won. The difference is that after the sociopath, we must practice informed trust. We know the red flags of a sociopath, and in evaluating a person, we don’t see them. Our intuition is giving us the green light. The person has proven, and continues to prove, to be trustworthy. These are the intellectual aspects of trust. By doing the work of exorcising our pain, we clear away the roadblocks to feeling trust emotionally. It’s crucial to be able to feel trust, because that’s what paves the way for love.

12/9/2008 6:28:48 AM - The Single Most Powerful Signifier of Sociopathy Thursday, 4 December 2008 @ 7:00am • My Weblog What is the single most powerful signifier of sociopathy? How about, lack of empathy? I don’t think so. As an isolated factor, I don’t think lack of empathy best nails the sociopath. Many millions of people, after all, lack empathy and aren’t sociopaths. Also, exactly what constitutes empathy is a subject of some disagreement. Some LoveFraud members, in fact, question whether sociopaths even lack empathy (some asserting, to the contrary, that the sociopaths they’ve known have used their capacity for empathy to exploit them). But the biggest problem with lack of empathy is its weakeness in explaining the single, truly best signifier of sociopathy—the characterological exploitiveness of the sociopath. It is a high level of exploitiveness that most singularly exposes the sociopath.

12/9/2008 6:30:44 AM - Now exploitiveness is also associated with the narcissistic personality. For this reason extremely destructive (“malignant”) narcissists can be hard to distinguish from sociopaths. Still, a high level of exploitiveness is rarely the single best signifier of narcissistic personality disorder, whereas it is, I suggest, the best single indicator of sociopathy.

12/9/2008 6:31:20 AM - Why does lack of empathy fail to explain the sociopath’s exploitiveness? It fails because most people who lack empathy are not exploitive. Just consider the autistic spectrum disorders: Lack of empathy is commonly associated with these disorders, but exploitive behavior is not.

12/9/2008 6:32:01 AM - Now it is true that empathic individuals will generally be nonexploitive. Why? Because their empathy will prove a deterrent against exploitative impulses or ideas. Empathy, in other words, surely is a powerful deterrent against exploitation.

12/9/2008 6:32:40 AM - But in someone nonexploitative (someone, say, with Asperger’s Syndrome), empathy will not be needed for its deterrent effect. However, in someone inclined to exploitation, lack of empathy will be a missing deterrent in a situation where deterrence is urgent.

12/9/2008 6:33:25 AM - Effectively, the sociopath’s exploitive nature is undeterred by empathy, which is missing, thus liberating him to exploit. And it is the sociopath’s tendency, or compulsion, to exploit, I propose, that best characterizes his sociopathy.

12/9/2008 6:33:58 AM - I’d be remiss not to clarify my working definition of empathy. Empathy, as I use it, is an experience, or appreciation, of another’s experience that, depending on the situation, elicits a thoughtful, respectful, perhaps nurturing, but never exploitive, response.

12/9/2008 6:34:57 AM - While some sociopaths may possess an evolved capacity to read others’ vulnerabilities, this doesn’t make them empathic.

12/9/2008 6:35:33 AM - It is the particular response to someone’s vulnerability that indicates the presence of empathy, or exploitation. It is the particular response, or pattern of responses, to someone’s vulnerability that separates the empathic individual from the predator.

12/9/2008 6:49:55 AM - In this respect, I regard the sociopath as seriously, and given his exploitive personality, dangerously deficient in empathy.

12/9/2008 6:50:49 AM - What about his remorselessness? Certainly the sociopath’s remorselessness is quite notable and diagnostically significant. However, I would argue that the sociopath’s remorselessness is a byproduct not of his lack of empathy, but of his exploitive personality.

12/9/2008 6:51:23 AM - Many people who lack empathy are remorseful, for instance when informed that an action they took, or something they said, left someone else feeling damaged. They may struggle to relate emotionally (or even intellectually) to the effect their behavior had on the wounded party (their deficient empathy); but they are upset to learn that their action caused damage.

12/9/2008 6:52:06 AM - In other words, they feel remorseful even though their empathy is deficient. However, exploitation and remorselessness go hand in hand. The essence of exploitation is the intentional violation of another’s vulnerability. The exploiter knows, on some level, that his behavior is exploitive.

12/9/2008 6:52:46 AM - By definition, the exploiter is grossly indifferent to the damaging effect of his behavior on his victim. All that matters is his perceived gain, his demanded, greedy satisfaction. There is indifference to the loss and damage to others resulting from his self-centered, aggressive behaviors.

12/9/2008 6:53:21 AM - This sounds a lot like callousness; and we recognize callousness as another of the sociopath’s telling qualities. But I would suggest, again, that the sociopath’s callousness derives not from his defective empathy, but rather from his characterological exploitiveness. Most people with deficits in empathy are not callous. On the other hand, the exploitive mentality will engender a callous perspective.

12/9/2008 6:54:02 AM - I discussed in a prior post the audacity of the sociopath. I suggested a correspondence between audacity and sociopathy. But here, too, we want to get the causality correct: audacity doesn’t make for sociopathy; but the exploitive mentality will make for staggering audacity.

12/16/2008 12:08:07 PM -

12/16/2008 12:12:02 PM - May Your Christmas Be Bright! You Prosper in 2009... Because I am tired of this site; And going after what is mine!

12/17/2008 6:49:00 AM - Trust Me Babe, you'll get yours.

12/17/2008 6:49:44 AM - I'll never leave you.

12/17/2008 6:50:46 AM - Just as you promised me that you'd always be here for me,

12/17/2008 6:53:00 AM - I'll always be here for YOU.

12/17/2008 6:53:44 AM - Just How do you feel hearing your words tossed back at you?

12/17/2008 6:54:20 AM - Every dime babe, you'll get every dime!

12/17/2008 6:55:29 AM - Making a living lying to women isn't nice! Santa has YOU on the naughty list! and IF you are lucky he'll only give you lumps of coal!

12/17/2008 11:14:38 AM - I must say that there is some interesting reading on this site about you Randy. And to think I was going to invite you and Corey to my house for Christmas! It's a good thing I found out the truth ahead of time.

12/17/2008 3:17:36 PM - Oh he couldn't come, he spends his holidays with his Mommy and her boyfriend and they hide him in the basement, and feed him pork and beans. They are ashamed of him. Well dang, now it all makes sense why!

12/17/2008 3:56:45 PM - Merry Christmas Babe! Hope 2009 brings you all the things your heart desires!!!!! But it would be so very nice IF you bought them yourself and didn't have to depend upon the goodness of US women! Grow up, get a real JOB! remember Santa is only a fantasy... but you weave those fantasies so well, right babe? Still waiting with YOUR hand opened... trust YOU! Yeah right!

12/17/2008 4:17:04 PM - There is now a Randy Hopper thread on the message board with a link to his POF page. Come on over Randy and lets talk. I would like to hear what you have to say about all of these accusations against you.

12/17/2008 8:26:23 PM - Look around again. Where to begin? I love the mountains. I love walking the beach. Or early morning before the world wakes to crowd it. I like joking around.(LAUGHING) People watching, yes this means I could be watching you right now . LOL I love to write poetry ans short stories. Riding my Harley( AKA pony)as much as I can. I like waking up before the sun, so I can watch its rays it peep over the horizon. I would like to connect with a woman, who does (not) have to drink or do drugs. A woman who takes pride in herself, who is some what secure, strong, determined. I understand life and its dramas. We all have it. Some control it better than others. I'm looking for that connection where "she" is not wearing all her pain. Or a victim of her past but more a survivor of it. I guess at this point,when "she" does come along, we can go from there. (Edit your profile description and include things that make you unique. You will increase the views and emails you get.) LMAO, But if I did that, what would we talk about. Isn't it all about getting to know some one through conversation? Or have I been in the woods to long? I always thought it more to do with harmless flirting , the thrill of the chase. That moment when you realize chemistry is more than looking down a telescope . The passion, the heat. That desire. The anticipation. And last but not least. Laughter. I am a man who says what he feels and means what he says. Life is too short. Too short. Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could. Just breath, for Love? Young love, is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable. RANDY'S PROFILE RAVENSWIND27 ON POF HE WRITE FICTION! SEEMS HE BORROWED SOME OF MY WORDS TOO, BUT LADIES HAS HANDSOME AS HE IS, HIS HEART IS BLACK, HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUY HIMSELF!

12/17/2008 8:30:37 PM - Mail Settings (To message darkraven27 you MUST meet the following criteria.)Female Age between 36 and 53 Live within 75 miles. You must have a picture to contact this user. Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail Must not be looking for Other Relationship Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter Must not be looking for Activity Partner Must not do drugs Must not be married Must not smoke

12/17/2008 8:34:49 PM - Lenoir? NC? or Harmony with your wife and her son Cory? oh yes have a picture... he'll jerk off to it, he doesn't want to talk email, wants to meet! cause he needs your money... other relationship, not sure how that fits in with his wife! oh that's right he's separated again... rolling eyes! Intimate Encounter? oh hells bells that's all he's about! Activity Partner.. if you are paying granted he'll be an activity partner, drugs... hummmmm and must not smoke, oh that's right he only smokes one or two TOPS a day... packs or cigarettes???

12/17/2008 9:00:06 PM - Laughing sooooo hard, that pic of him camping with his Pony? Was when he was living at Van Hoy Camp Grounds in Union Grove! There's another pic of his wife standing by him too... peepsheet . com he's such a lier!!!!! Ladies spread the word, the man is only out to take what he can from you. We are making his payments! I doubt seriously he's working! He lives in a double wide mobile home with his wife and Cory... property is listed in his name, his wife's and his mom's companion's... Iredell County in NC, or better yet check out the white pages! He is a con, from the word go, trust those of us who have met him, beleived him and are NOW out thousands of $$$ for having believed him. I AM A MAN WHO SAYS WHAT HE FEELS AND MEANS WHAT HE SAYS? Well it that were the case, why hasn't he repaid any of us the money he needed?

12/17/2008 9:01:54 PM - IF he tells you he is divorced... have him produce the papers. Told me he was divorced...then it was separated.. to I am married and I will never leave her, My wife is mentally challenged and I have to take care of her... all garbage. Allison is sane....

12/17/2008 9:22:27 PM - unquenchable love, yep, that a boy! You satisfy your selfish self and never your women! perfect way to describe it old man!

12/17/2008 9:30:31 PM - Native American??? Is that the WANNABEE tribe you are from?

12/17/2008 9:55:47 PM - He is smarter than everyone, he believes he will never be caught for the con's he's pulling, remember IF you loan him money, get an IOU from the man, or he'll only say that you insisted on giving it to him, your word against his, he's confident that he'll never have to repay you.

12/18/2008 7:49:45 AM - OMG! You girls are a trip! Some of your comments about the POF profile are hilarious! Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned! :)

12/18/2008 7:17:14 PM - Hey Mr. five minute man! I wouldn't go there if I were you. You were the one that was too chicken to meet with me in the first place. And now that the real you has been revealed I'm glad that we never got together.

12/19/2008 8:31:21 PM - Not sure why, but I haven't been able to find him on POF? Any suggestions? Any more sites he's on?

12/19/2008 8:37:53 PM - Found HIM! Finally figured out how to get to the threads, thanks for the link, yes that is the man who told me he'd love me forever, was a man of HIS word! What a joke and 5 minutes? Aren't you the lucky one! I wish I'd never met the man.

12/21/2008 8:38:46 PM - The POF profile has been deleted and I bet there will be another account with a different name opened soon.

12/22/2008 4:44:34 PM -

12/22/2008 4:46:51 PM - Merry Christmas Babe! I hope your Christmas is as "special" as you!

12/23/2008 6:27:43 AM - From Lovefraud, I enjoyed this and could relate to it, I hope by sharing you are also able to gain some understanding and peace.

12/23/2008 6:28:02 AM - Life’s Lessons 101: The Knowledge of Good and Evil Sunday, 21 December 2008 @ 11:59am • My Weblog By OxDrover In the Bible the story of Adam and Eve living in the Garden of Eden, in perfect paradise, is a story familiar to most children who have gone to Bible school at one point or another in their lives. If you take that same story, though, and look at it through adult eyes, you can see that there is a great moral to this tale, whether you believe it as a “creation” story or not. Before the “fall,” Adam and Eve had only dealt with a loving God/Creator who had given them a wonderful place to live in peace and plenty. They were naked and innocent in this paradise on earth. They were given an occupation of “dressing the garden” and only given one warning that they must not disobey, and that was to not eat from the tree of the “Knowledge of Good and Evil,” for if they did not heed this warning, they would die. The original psychopath, Satan, in the disguise of a serpent, like all villains shows up on the scene. We know about psychopaths and we know that Satan personified this personality disorder, because he saw someone who was happy and prosperous, but naïve, and he wanted to bring about their downfall. Not for any gain or motive we can perceive on his own part, but simply to have someone else believe his lies and suffer for that belief. He wanted to enjoy the downfall of someone else. That was his “reward” for telling the lies to Eve, to get Eve to disregard the warning she had received from God … just as our psychopaths lie to us to get us to not heed the instinctive intuitive warnings we get when we catch them in a lie, or something doesn’t feel right.

12/23/2008 6:28:35 AM - How did Satan accomplish his task? The story tells us that Satan was “more subtle than any beast of the field.” … ”and he said unto the woman, ‘Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?’” Satan knew this was not true, but he was setting her up with a conversation starter he knew she would respond to. The woman said, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said ‘Ye shall not eat of it’…or ye shall surely die.” The serpent said unto the woman, “Ye shall not surely die, for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and she shall be as gods, knowing Good and Evil.” Here the psychopath, as they all do, tells Eve that the warning from God is for God’s benefit, because God wants to “keep the best stuff” for himself and that if she will just not heed the warning not to eat of the forbidden fruit, she will be equal with God. Here Satan is creating a need in this woman, and holding the hope of accomplishing that need in Eve. Before Satan’s lie to her, Eve wasn’t unhappy, and she had no desires that weren’t met. She didn’t even desire to be “as gods,” but now she has started to desire something that Satan appears to be offering her. How many times have our psychopaths held out to us a “prize” that we start to desire? A desire that they have created a fantasy of, and lied to us that they know the way for us to achieve this desire, our heart’s desire. Is it a perfect soul mate? A perfect love? A perfect marriage? A perfect business arrangement? A perfect child? The perfect restoration of something we have lost? What was the desire in you that the psychopath created with their lies? “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her and he did eat.” “And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked.”

12/23/2008 6:29:18 AM - Adam and Eve immediately knew that they had been had. They knew they were naked, and they did now know the difference between Good and Evil. They knew that they had been tricked, that Satan had done them in completely, and that there was no going back to naiveté. You can’t UN-ring a bell. While Adam and Eve tried to find a way to hide themselves from God and the consequences of their disobedience and naiveté, Satan skipped off on his merry way, having accomplished what he desired, the destruction of human kind. The taking away of the innocence of humanity. The bringing of death to the world. However, though Satan brought evil into the world of man, humanity also received the knowledge that will protect us in that fall from grace. We have the knowledge of Good and Evil. We can choose our path. The psychopaths in our lives who have attacked us because we didn’t have a proper knowledge of their evil intentions when they started to destroy us for their own purposes, their own selfish games, have given us the same “fruit” that Eve in her naiveté ate, the wisdom of the knowledge of Good and Evil. While Eve in the Bible story paid a stiff price for her knowledge by being cast from paradise into the world, we also have paid a stiff price for this knowledge, some of us in terms of money and property, all of us in terms of pain and emotional devastation. Just as Eve must have berated herself for being so naïve and stupid for doing something she had been told not to, we berate ourselves for being so naïve and stupid in ignoring the warnings we also generally had all along. Why did we not heed the warnings, just as Eve did not heed God’s warning not to eat the fruit? Just as Eve, after the fall, had to learn to live in the real world, the world that is not paradise, that contains evil people, selfish people, even her own son, Cain, who killed her other son, Abel, we as former victims of the psychopath have to learn to live in the real world and to distinguish what is good from what is evil. We have to learn from our experience with our own personal version of Satan, and our own version of our fall from grace, to know what is truly important in life. To use this hard-won knowledge of Good and Evil to make us stronger and better people.

12/23/2008 6:29:56 AM - We are no longer naïve people who don’t know about red flags of warnings of psychopaths. We are no longer willing to trust others indiscriminately or lightly as Eve trusted the lying words of her own Satan. We are no longer willing to fail to listen to the instinctive cries of our own intuition about danger. We have knowledge that we have gotten the hard way, and hard-won knowledge is a lesson that will stick to us forever. It is up to us to use this life’s lesson in Psychopath 101 for our own and others’ benefits.

12/23/2008 6:33:47 AM - The Bible tells us to be “as innocent as doves, and as cunning as serpents.” That’s a big order, but I think it is the right way if we can achieve it. A small child does love so innocently because they do NOT have wisdom, and as they get their little hearts broken from time to time by being betrayed to some extent, they learn caution and wisdom (we hope) but hopefully, not bitterness. I’ve wondered many times the WHY of it all. WHY did they do it, what did they “get out of it?” Of course with "him" we can see he got money, power, status, etc. but so many times, they get nothing that we can even conceive of as “gain.” I read the story of the Garden of Eden over and over and over and I never saw a thing in the world that Satan could gain except for the downfall of another. But, apparently, for some of the sociopaths, that is enough. Just as Eve gained the knowledge of good and evil by her experience with the sociopath, I think that we too must gain that knowledge without loosing our innocence totally. That’s why I think the psychopathic experience we have all been through is so much a SPIRITUAL thing as much as a trauma, and an abuse thing. Our spirits are wounded, our innocence is wounded, our hearts are wounded, and our lives and our reality disrupted and put into question.

12/23/2008 6:37:12 AM - Could it be then that all men are socipathic? It isn’t that MEN are sociopathic to a degree it is that HUMANS are socipathic, selfish, egocentric, self centered and so on to a degree, ALL of us. But some of the human race develops empathy, the ability to see another person’s point of view, to FEEL for them when they are happy or sad, to put ourselves in their shoes to a degree. BEcause of the empathy some of the human race develops we are able to restrain our selfish, selfcentered, egotistic desires for the good of others. Some humans develop the ability to delay gratification. Some people are willing to do things for the good of others, not just themselves. Maybe WE (those of us with empathy) are the “mutants,” I’m not sure. Look at all the stories in history, religion, myth, Shakespeare, any drama—you see the “good, the bad and the ugly” the selfish and the givers. The Mother Theresas and the Hitlers. In humanity in general, there are the “saints and the sinners and the people in between.” I remember a bit of poetry I memorized when I was a kid, I have no idea where it came from.

12/23/2008 6:39:14 AM - I don’t believe that everyone allows themselves to express our utmost EVIL, most people, many people at least, give more than they get, care more than they are cared for. I just know that whatever money or fame the psychopathic people like "him" get in this world with their EVIL, and I do believe they choose to be EVIL, I do believe they know right from wrong, but just don’t care what damage they do, or even enjoy the damage they do, like Satan apparently did, I know and believe that none of the gain they get gives them happiness, not true happiness. I think it is only what good we have done, what love we have shown to our fellows that in the end when we face the great leveler of all men, death, that makes a bit of difference in us. I think that we are spiritual beings on a human journey, rather than humans on a spiritual journey. I would much rather be the victim of one of them than be one of them.

12/23/2008 6:51:23 AM - Another Posting from LoveFraud... This has been in the news, take note that this man defrauded billions from people, they believed him, Bernie Madoff...“A sociopath feels no real love toward others. They feel power over others precisely because they are capable of lying without any remorse or second thoughts. Many sociopaths are also quite intelligent and quite charming. So they, or any rogue, can convince people to trustingly hand over their life savings, which is what Bernie Madoff did.”

12/23/2008 6:52:17 AM - Not everyone with the traits of a sociopath is a serial killer. Not everyone with the traits of a sociopath is in prison. Not everyone with the traits of a sociopath is autistic or psychotic. One can have enough empathy to refrain from homicide, but not enough empathy to refrain from fraud or political callousness that causes harm to many thousands of people.

12/23/2008 6:53:48 AM - Bernie Madoff may be what is popularly known as a sociopath, someone who, in the words of Mr. Random House is “a person who, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.” Unusual but not, we all know the kind. … In the case of Bernie Madoff, scores of bright and intelligent individuals didn’t know and now are truly confounded. Men, brothers, who knew him, who were grateful to know him not because he could make them and so many others so much money but because they liked him, they respected him; some even admired him. Betrayal is a sociopathic condition, kids.

12/23/2008 6:55:02 AM - This is the real value of the Bernie Madoff story to those of us who didn’t lose everything we had because of him: The term “sociopath” is finally being applied to someone other than a serial killer or mob hit man. Bernie Madoff doesn’t look like a wild-eyed murderer. He looks like a Jewish grandfather in a business suit. The story also proves that anyone, absolutely anyone, can be fooled by a sociopath. The list of people taken by Madoff is filled with people who should have known better: sophisticated investors, international banks, the Securities and Exchange Commission. I am shocked and appalled at the scope of Madoff’s fraud. But I hope that the story, and all the attention it is getting, has the beneficial effect of teaching people how sociopaths really operate, and how devastating they are.

12/23/2008 7:01:43 AM - I see traits, maybe it's because I can't understand how someone like Randy could be so Godly in his pursuit one day and the next when you ask that he return what is yours, he screams we are all whores, that he never put a gun to our head, that we "gave" him things, because we wanted to, not because he spun such a story of being hungry, cold and in need. He knows how to get women to give him what he desires, and when you stop, or ask when he may begin to repay the loans he's asked for, the Bible quoting, God fearing man becomes a raging angry, trash mouth, that tries to scare you with showing the world that indeed you are nothing but a whore. Funny thing is, whores are paid for sex, isn't that in essance what he is? I post to help those of us whom have walked this path realize that we did nothing wrong, but to love innocently and believe in the empty words of Randy Hopper.

12/23/2008 7:08:06 AM - More from LoveFraud: Radar not for the sociopath, but for the wrong people Thursday, 18 December 2008 @ 7:00am • My Weblog Most of the people who will be bad for us are not sociopaths, and so we want our radar to be sharp, not specifically for sociopaths, but for wrong, bad people of every stripe. True, sociopaths will be terrible people with whom to enter relationships; in the end, though, they will represent a small fraction of a much greater majority of very wrong people for us. As I suggested in a prior post, there are two keys to protecting ourselves from Mr. or Mrs. WRONG: The first is developing intelligent radar; the second is acting wisely on that radar. After all, good radar, no less than good CIA intelligence, is useless if it’s ignored or devalued. Now, are there cases of sociopaths (and the lot of devious personalities) so slick as to be undetectable until after they’ve wreaked their havoc? Of course there are; to suggest otherwise would insult anyone unlucky enough to have crossed paths with such destructive individuals.

12/23/2008 7:09:08 AM - Nevertheless, in most cases, the wrong person—sociopath or not—will and does leave clues much sooner than most of us want to admit (until much later). WRONG, by the way, for whom? The answer, of course, is, YOU! It is tempting and, at some point, I suggest, unfruitful to get stuck on the suspected psychopathology of a partner (present, or ex). Because when you get right down to it, there are only two diagnoses that really matter: Is this person, for me, RIGHT, and GOOD? Or WRONG, and BAD? Only we can make this assessment, and it’s our responsibility, of course, to make it as soundly as possible. By soundly I mean being as honest with ourselves as possible, and keeping our best long-term interests uppermost in mind. What, then, is the first—and, for that matter, second—telltale sign that someone is wrong, and really bad, for you, sociopath or not? (And speaking honestly, should we really need more than a sign or two?)

12/23/2008 7:09:43 AM - The answer is, ANY EXPRESSED BEHAVIOR or ATTITUDE that leaves you feeling disarmed or disoriented by its inappropriateness, selfishness and/or insensitivity.

12/23/2008 7:10:30 AM - Take great heed of such an experience, because almost always, it is a sign that more are sure to follow. In other words, preparing to bail at this point is a wise consideration.

12/23/2008 7:11:17 AM - """Specifically, what behaviors and attitudes am I referring to? For starters, how about the first, surprising flash of rage, contempt, arrogance, selfishness, coldness, presumptuousness, dishonesty, indifference, ungratefulness, even denseness; shocking acts of abuse, verbal or physical; and startling failures of empathy, or compassion. """

12/23/2008 7:11:58 AM - It is really less the behavior or attitude, per se, that screams ALARMING…prepare to BAIL!, than the experience of it as, “Where did that come from?”

12/23/2008 7:12:42 AM - I stress: It is our job, first, to register these signs; and then immediately to register them as alarmingly ominous. The question is, Will you be willing to see what you’ve seen? Will you be willing to acknowledge the sobering portent of the display? Or instead, for any of a hundred conveniences, will you find ways to pretend you didn’t see it, and/or minimize the ramifications of what you’ve seen?

12/23/2008 7:13:23 AM - It is perfectly fine to ask, What, in a new relationship, should I be watchful for? What are the signs that my new interest may be someone different than advertised? I hope I’ve addressed these questions

12/23/2008 7:14:13 AM - Then again, such questions tend, I think, to promote a view of the world as waiting to unleash upon us ruinous new bogeymen and predators, instead of encouraging us to examine what can be harder, but perhaps more honest, useful, retrospective questions, like, What did I miss? Why did I miss it? And if I registered it, why did I choose to ignore or minimize it?

12/23/2008 7:14:53 AM - Insight into, and resolution of, these latter questions can confer the best insurance against future exploitation. In most (certainly not all) cases, it may be less important to be wary of the next nightmare disguised as Mr. or Mrs. SENSITIVE, than more careful of our always lurking capacity for defenses like denial, rationalization and minimization to blind us to what we don’t want to see, and do.

12/23/2008 7:49:32 AM - Bernie Madoff cheated a 95 year old man, a Holocaust survivor and many others. If you are like me, you are wondering, “What was he thinking?” Personally, I don’t find the “without conscience” explanation of this kind of behavior very satisfying. You can’t convince me that Madoff was without thoughts as he created false documents and told frank lies to people. He had to have been thinking something. Just what was Madoff thinking? He hasn’t said yet, but I can give you an educated guess based on the seminal work of prison psychologist Glenn Walters, Ph.D. I also highly recommend that students, professionals and the public read his books, The Criminal Lifestyle and Criminal Belief Systems

12/23/2008 7:50:38 AM - Dr. Walters began his work understanding criminal lifestyles at the same time Dr. Hare set out to define psychopathy. The lifestyle criminal that Dr. Walters describes is essentially a psychopath/sociopath. His Postulate #1 reads: “Crime can be understood as a lifestyle characterized by a global sense of irresponsibility, self-indulgent interests, an intrusive approach to interpersonal relationships and chronic violation of social rules, laws and mores.”

12/23/2008 7:51:28 AM - Dr. Walters answers our “Just what was he thinking” question in Postulates #5 and 6: “There is a distinctive thinking style that derives from the lifestyle criminal’s decision to engage in delinquent and criminal acts (5). The content and process of criminologic thought are reflected in eight primary cognitive patterns (6).”

12/23/2008 7:52:10 AM - I will explain these eight patterns and you will see that although Dr. Walters studies criminality these patterns pertain to antisocial conduct in general. Note that sociopaths try to fool both themselves and others with these disordered thinking patterns. Cognitive pattern #1 Molification: Molification refers to the thoughts sociopaths use to lay blame for their irresponsible antisocial behavior outside themselves. According to sociologists Sykes and Matza these justifications can be grouped into five major “neutralization techniques”:

12/23/2008 7:53:08 AM - 1. Denial of responsibility. Sociopaths deny responsibility by claiming their behaviors are accidental or due to forces beyond their control. Perhaps Madoff was thinking “I am under pressure to deliver what people asked for.” i.e. “The investors made me do it.” 2. Denial of injury. No one got hurt, and therefore there’s no harm. “All these people are rich anyway.” Madoff reportedly did not take a client who had less than a million dollars to invest. 3. Denial of the victim. Sometimes sociopaths admit that their actions cause harm. In these cases they can justify their behavior by denying the victim. In this case Madoff was thinking “The rich deserve whatever they get.” 4. Condemnation of the condemners. Instead of focusing on their own actions, sociopaths focus on the motivations or behaviors of the people who disapprove of them. So Madoff was likely thinking “How do you think these rich people got their money anyway?” or “Everyone on Wall Street is just as corrupt as I am.” 5. Appeal to higher loyalties. Sociopaths claim that their behavior is consistent with the moral obligations to their group. Using this line of reasoning, Madoff would say, “I stole to provide for my family.”

12/23/2008 7:53:44 AM - Cognitive Pattern #2 Cut-off: Cut-off refers to the techniques sociopaths use to avoid thinking about negative consequences. They cut themselves off from any worry or guilt they might be inclined to feel. In this pattern Madoff who is 70 now was likely thinking, “I’ll be dead before they figure out what I’ve done.”

12/23/2008 7:55:07 AM - Cognitive Pattern #3 Entitlement: According to Dr. Walters most sociopaths believe that laws and social rules are necessary. “However they also believe that they are somehow personally exempt from the rules that govern the rest of us. This sense of entitlement is what provides the (sociopath) with permission to violate societal laws and the personal rights of others.” He is, after all the great, lovable, charming and exceedingly brilliant Bernie Madoff!

12/23/2008 7:55:41 AM - Cognitive Pattern #4 Power Orientation: There are those who are strong and those who are weak. The weak are prey for the taking. “If a person is stupid enough to fall for my con then he doesn’t deserve his money anyway.”

12/23/2008 7:56:16 AM - Cognitive Pattern#5 Sentimentality: Sentimentality involves an attempt by the sociopath to present himself in as favorable a light as possible. How much money did Madoff give to charity so that other people would see him as kind and generous?

12/23/2008 7:56:53 AM - Cognitive Pattern#6 Superoptimism: The sociopath’s tendency to be extremely optimistic and self-confident about not getting caught is referred to as superoptimism. According to Walters, “Experience has taught (sociopaths) that the many crimes they get away with greatly outnumber the crimes for which they have been caught.” The SEC did investigate Madoff 10 years ago as he continued his fraud. I think beating that investigation likely made him feel even more invincible.

12/23/2008 7:57:24 AM - Cognitive Pattern #7 Cognitive Indolence (laziness): According to Walters, “Like water running downhill, the (sociopath’s) thinking takes the path of least resistance.” Why should Madoff do all that investing? It’s too much like work, when you can simply take money from one guy and give it to another. It is much more fun to schmooze and play golf.

12/23/2008 7:57:59 AM - Cognitive Pattern #8 Discontinuity: The sociopath fails to follow through on commitments, carry out intentions, or remain focused on goals over time. Discontinuity is reflected by the fact that Madoff at 70 will likely spend the rest of his life in prison. Though I think so-called successful psychopaths have lives marked by less discontinuity than the unsuccessful ones.

12/23/2008 7:58:46 AM - If you have examples of sociopaths using these thinking styles to justify outrageous acts, please share them in comments. Remember since the inner world of sociopaths is relatively shallow, they are most concerned with convincing others to use these perverted thought processes to make sense of their behavior. It is relatively easy for them to convince themselves that their antisocial behavior makes sense and is fully justified.

12/23/2008 8:02:24 AM - The postings from Lovefraud are posted for thought processes, to awaken you to ways of sociopaths, not saying any ONE person fits all or comes close to fitting into this lifestyle, but just to awaken victims to ways of fraud, through trust and love, and their deception.

12/30/2008 8:21:44 PM - From Lovefraud.... "Then the sociopath arrived, and promised me what I so desperately wanted—an end to my longing. He said he’d love me forever. He said that once his business plans succeeded—with my financial help, of course—we’d live in “the lap of luxury.” He promised that my dreams would come true, and I believed him. We all know how that goes.

12/30/2008 8:22:24 PM - "The magnitude of his betrayal was staggering. I coped as best I could with the legal and financial consequences, but emotionally, all I could do was collapse. It was painful. It was ugly. But as I started to come through my shattered circumstances, I found that what was also shattered was the numbness. And in its place, I felt the beginnings of joy, happiness and love. I felt the spark of life." I heard about the same from Randy, with your help to get my business going... how many more did he tell this to?

12/30/2008 8:23:14 PM - "A romantic relationship with a sociopath can leave a person sour on the opposite sex, or on people in general. I said last week that sociopaths try to train their partners in their disordered thinking patterns. Recovery involves purging the sociopath’s mollifications and seeing the beauty in life again. Recovery means a renewed ability to appreciate the loving connections we still have." lovefraud... Dare we try to undo the "training" we've received?

12/30/2008 8:23:56 PM - "It is Faith that changed my life. I came to a place, a way of thinking, that was just too painful to live with so I made a decision to try something different. I prayed for help, for truth and understanding." lovefraud,.. Prayer will help you realize this isn't your fault.

12/30/2008 8:24:35 PM - "I asked for help. I was told that Faith was the opposite of Fear and I was tired of living in fear so I tried it. I just didn’t see a down side to trying this Faith thing. I asked for protection and I received it. Now I know that Fear and Faith cannot be practiced at the same time. These are miracles that happened in my life." lovefraud... I am not afraid of him, his threats do not scare me.

12/30/2008 8:26:22 PM - Lovefraud..."The consequences of entanglements with sociopaths are always negative, ranging in scale from unpleasant to deadly".

12/30/2008 8:27:14 PM - "That’s why Lovefraud’s mission is to educate people about sociopaths. Right now, most people find Lovefraud because they’re already entangled with a sociopath and facing the consequences. We’ll soon announce a new initiative to help people cope with what has happened to them."

12/30/2008 8:28:06 PM - "But eventually we hope to have programs to educate people about this personality disorder and the red flags of sociopathic behavior. Our goal is to help people escape the terrible consequences by avoiding the predators in the first place.".. lovefraud

1/6/2009 1:29:49 AM - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf7P2zKu-Yk&feature=related

1/6/2009 6:19:20 AM -

1/6/2009 6:20:54 AM - Sorry... can't see how the youtube posting would apply to this site.

1/6/2009 6:26:53 AM - Sociopath-proof in 2009 Sunday, 4 January 2009 @ 11:37am • My Weblog Editor’s note: This is the first post by Lovefraud’s newest blog author, Kathleen Hawk. She previously posted many thoughtful comments under the screen name “khatalyst.” Last year, 2008, was a year in which we faced the cost of sociopathy in our economy. Huge financial firms were destroyed or deeply damaged by their own corporate cultures. Their employees were encouraged to pursue personal gain, without concern about the messes they left behind or the damage they did to other people’s lives. The results are loss and suffering, even for people who had nothing to do with these companies.

1/6/2009 6:27:36 AM - It sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Sociopathy taken to a grand scale. But there are people and institutions that didn’t buy into the subprime mortgage debacle. There are people who turned down the opportunity to invest with Bernard Madoff. Likewise, there are people who don’t get involved with sociopaths. They don’t attract them, or if they do, they get rid of them before any damage is done. This article is about my suggestions for New Years resolutions that will help make us like those people.

1/6/2009 6:28:16 AM - About 20 years ago, I was fortunate to attend a week-long training at Brain Technologies, a consulting firm founded by the authors of Strategy of the Dolphin.* This book – written for business managers but also useful for people wanting to better manage their own lives – divides the world into sharks and carps. Both act out their addictions. Sharks are addicted to winning. Carps are addicted to being loved.

1/6/2009 6:28:45 AM - There was a third type of character in the “pool.” That was the dolphin. The dolphin learned in action, adapting its behavior to what was required at any given moment. If threatened, it might act like a shark. At more comfortable times, it might act like a carp. One of my favorite dolphin strategies described in the book is “tit for tat.” That is, if a shark takes a bite out of a dolphin, the dolphin takes an equivalent bite out of the shark. Not to escalate the fight, but just let the shark know that it was not dealing with a carp.

1/6/2009 6:29:31 AM - You’ll notice the dolphin doesn’t cringe and say, “Please don’t bite me.” It doesn’t pat the shark on the head and say, “You must have had a difficult childhood and you clearly need more love.” It absolutely doesn’t lie down and say, “I can see you’re hungry, and I can spare a part or two.” What it does is communicate in concrete terms that a dolphin lunch is going to be very, very expensive for the shark. Which brings me to the New Year’s resolutions we might consider to makes ourselves sociopath-proof.

1/6/2009 6:30:00 AM - 1. Eliminate pity. This may sound very strange to those of us who were taught that we are responsible to help the less fortunate. But pity is not what we were supposed to learn. Pity is an emotion that places us in a one-up position to someone we view as less than us. It is also dangerously linked to feeling sorry for ourselves. In acting on pity, we get into emotionally tangled situations of entitlement and debt, which leave us feeling unappreciated and resentful.

1/6/2009 6:30:27 AM - Empathy and compassion are much more functional and respectful emotions. Empathy is extending ourselves to understand another’s circumstances. (“That must be difficult for you.”) Compassion is extending ourselves to understand how they feel. (“That must be painful for you.”) Both of them can lead to bonding experiences. Neither of them requires us to take action to help. In fact, “dispassionate compassion” is the respectful recognition that other people are following their own paths, which have nothing to do with us. This doesn’t mean that we won’t help, but it keeps things in perspective.

1/6/2009 6:30:56 AM - As most people who have been involved with sociopaths know, the ability to elicit pity and then take advantage of our knee-jerk inclination to help is one of their greatest manipulative tools. It can be particularly seductive, because they seem so strong and confident, except for this one little weakness. If we practice offering empathy or compassion without offering to help, we can short-circuit the pity play, and gain control over where we place our helping efforts.

1/6/2009 6:35:06 AM - 2. Demand reciprocity. “Demand” doesn’t mean trying to make people do what is unnatural to them. It means making choices to pursue relationships in which reciprocity clearly exists. If we are generous to someone who seems to have an unlimited appetite for our generosity, but little inclination to give back, we cut that person out of our life.

1/6/2009 6:35:36 AM - In demanding reciprocity, we become clear about what we’re giving and what we want back. For example, if we are open about our feelings, then we may want the same in return. If we are willing to provide emotional support, we may want that back. If we are providing financial or material support, we may want something material or financial in return for it. (If we’re paying money for emotional support, this is a professional relationship, not a personal one.)

1/6/2009 6:36:02 AM - Reciprocity exists in real time. This is not like being good all our life, so that after we die, we go to heaven. This is being good and getting good back. Here and now. People act out of their characters and also out of their real objectives. If the other person’s real objectives don’t include being fair to us right now, then we are in an unfair situation. This is the year we abandon unfairness in our lives.

1/6/2009 6:39:43 AM - 3. Trust conditionally. It’s a basic human need to trust and be trusted. Like love, we want it to be perfect and forever. Like love, maintaining trust often takes shared effort, and it can lead to disappointment. Some of us hope that we if treat people as though they were trustworthy, they will rise to the occasion.

1/6/2009 6:40:23 AM - As those of us who have been involved with sociopaths know, treating them as though they can be trusted is equivalent to asking a burglar to watch our jewelry box while we make a pot of coffee. What we got back for treating them as though they could be trusted is loss.

1/6/2009 6:40:52 AM - But this isn’t just about sociopaths. In day-to-day living, we are continually learning new things about the people we know. Sometimes, we learn good things that make us trust someone more. Sometimes we learn troubling things that make us trust someone less. When we trust them less, it means that we are more guarded in sharing ourselves and our resources. When we trust them more, we are more relaxed.

1/6/2009 6:41:19 AM - Diminished trust is not the end of the world. There are ways that we can work with another person to rebuild trust, if that person is worthy of trust. And there are ways to deal with untrustworthy people if we can’t get rid of them, as in a work situation. However it plays out, the important thing is to be honest with ourselves about how trusting we really feel. It has everything to do with our survival and well-being.

1/6/2009 6:41:58 AM - 4. Value what we have. Other than pity, the sociopath’s best tool of manipulation is identifying our dissatisfactions with our own lives, magnifying them, and then claiming to have the solution. They set their hooks in the voids in our lives, the lacks that we worry over, dream over.

1/6/2009 6:42:45 AM - If we wonder what kind of person is invulnerable to sociopathic wiles, it is the kind who invests time and energy on what he or she has, rather than what’s missing. That doesn’t mean they aren’t working on improvements. But when they look at themselves and their lives, they see something they own, planned and built by they own efforts. It doesn’t mean they never made a mistake, but they survived it and learned from it.

1/6/2009 6:43:25 AM - That kind of attitude is fundamentally positive. It looks at what exists in the environment – internal and external – and says “What good thing can I do with this?” How can I use it to make me happier or my life more interesting? What can I do with it to make the world a better place for the people I care about?

1/6/2009 6:44:25 AM - For those of us who are still raw from a brutally exploitive relationship, it may be hard to focus on anything but what we’ve lost. We are wounded and we feel pain. But in healing, we learn that pain is one of our valued resources. It motivates us to learn. It can even keep us from learning the wrong thing. For example, deciding to never trust anyone again is a premature learning, and we feel pain whenever we go in that direction. Pain is one of the voices of our inner wisdom. It keeps us from settling for the wrong thing.

1/6/2009 6:44:57 AM - 5. Self-validate. In other words, care less about what other people think. Turn within for encouragement, approval, comfort, inspiration and kindness.

1/6/2009 6:45:41 AM - Sociopaths have been called “soul killers,” because they separate us from our inner wisdom. First they seduce us with our own dreams, then they cause us to question our ideas and our values, and finally they beat us down with disloyalty and denigration while telling us that we asked for it. The longer and deeper our involvement, the more we lose ourselves in self-questioning and ultimately self-hatred.

1/6/2009 6:46:40 AM - If there is one good thing about a relationship with a sociopath, it is the clarification that we are our own primary support. In dealing with someone who is dishonest, undependable, untrustworthy and viciously unkind, most of us discover that we know better. We know that we are not what they think of us. We are not even how we are behaving. There is something in us that knows better. Knows who we really are. Knows how we really want our life to be.

1/6/2009 6:47:31 AM - We also discover that no one else – not the sociopath, not our friends, not our advisors –knows us better than we do. It doesn’t mean that we know everything about the world. We still collect information. We still seek role models for things we don’t know how to do yet. We’re not proud or over-impressed with ourselves. We just know rationally that we’re our own best counsel, our only decider of what we think, feel, believe, want and choose to do.

1/6/2009 6:48:30 AM - When we learn how to self-validate, it changes our lives. For those of us who hear the denigrating voice of the sociopath in our thoughts, self-validating is a way to bypass it. To say, “Oh, shut up. You’re not me, you’re just a bad memory” while we move on to explore our thoughts and feelings. It takes practice to self-validate. We have to make a decision about wanting to be independent in creating our own lives. We have to train ourselves to find our inner wisdom and push aside anything that gets in the way of hearing it.

1/6/2009 6:49:06 AM - This year, 2009, is the year that all of us get better. Better friends with ourselves and others because we’re cultivating compassion and empathy. Better lovers because we’re learning to love out of choice, not need. Better partners of every sort, because we give and demand kindness and respect. Better members of our community because “dispassionate compassion” enables us to select our helpful efforts, rather than feeling forced into them.

1/6/2009 6:49:46 AM - Should a sociopath show up, we are learning the best way to be sociopath-proof. That is, to value ourselves and our lives. And to exercise our options — to be a ruthlessly determined shark or a sweetly generous carp – depending on what our circumstances require. Namaste. The dolphin in me salutes the dolphin in you. Kathy * Strategy of the Dolphin, Dudley Lynch and Paul Kordis, 1989. Out of print, but available from sellers at Amazon. More information on additional books and personal assessment tests can be found at Brain Technologies.

1/6/2009 6:51:03 AM - Educating ourselves if our BEST defense, I hope the shared article helps someone to realize that you can take back control, you are strong and You can trust again!

1/6/2009 7:13:15 AM - Interested in learning more about Lovefraud's Professional Listing Service: http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/01/01/introducing-the-lovefraud-professional-resources-guide/

1/6/2009 7:30:46 AM - Another posting from LoveFraud that you may find interesting, how a S manages to keep is half truths and doesn't seem to be bothered when he's caught lying...Have you experienced this with anyone we know? http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/12/31/a-sociopathic-interaction/

1/16/2009 7:15:45 AM -

1/20/2009 9:46:23 AM - Sharing from Love Fraud.....After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part I Sunday, 18 January 2009 @ 8:05pm • My Weblog A relationship with a sociopath is a traumatic experience. The definition of physical trauma is a serious injury or shock to the body, as with a car accident or major surgery. It requires healing. On an emotional level, a trauma is wound or shock that causes lasting damage to the psychological development of a person. It also requires healing. To some degree, we can depend on our natural ability to heal. But just as an untreated broken bone can mend crooked, our emotional systems may become “stuck” in an intermediate stage of healing. For example we may get stuck in anger, bitterness, or even earlier stages of healing, such as fear and confusion. This article is about my personal ideas about the healing path for full recovery from the emotional trauma caused by a relationship with a sociopath. I am not a therapist, although I have training in some processes and theories of personal and organizational development. My ideas are also the result of years of research into personality disorders, creative and learning processes, family dynamics, childhood development, recovery from addictions and trauma, and neurological research. After my five-year relationship with a man I now believe to be a sociopath, I was physically and emotionally broken down. I was also terrified about my condition for several reasons. In my mid-fifties, I was already seeing evidence of several age-related diseases. But more worrisome than the premature aging was my social incapacitation. I was unable to talk about myself without crying, unable to do the consultative work I lived on, desperately in need of comfort and reassurance, unable to trust my own instincts. I had been in long-term relationships almost my entire life. My instinct was to find another one to help me rebuild myself. But I knew that there was no safe “relationship of equals” for me now. I was too messed up. No one would take on someone as physically debilitated and emotionally damaged as I was, without expecting to be paid for it. Likewise, I was afraid of my inclination to bond sexually. The only type of person I could imagine attracting was another predator who would “help” me while draining whatever was left of my material and financial resources.

1/20/2009 9:47:33 AM - My challenge So, for the first time in my life, I made a decision to be alone. Knowing that the relationship with the sociopath had involved forces in my personality that were out of my control, I also decided that my best approach to this recovery was to figure out what was wrong with me and fix it. At the time, I did not understand my role in fostering this relationship, except that I couldn’t get out of it. But I knew that what happened to me with the sociopath wasn’t just about him. It was also about me. I also made a decision to manage my own recovery. I made this decision for several reasons. One was that no one else really understood the mechanics of this relationship. My friends offered emotional support, but they were as confused as I was about his hold on me and why I could not extricate myself. Second, I found no meaningful assistance from therapists who seemed unable to grasp that this was a traumatic relationship. Third, everyone I knew wanted me to get over it and get on with my life, which was simply impossible to do. So I was not only alone, but proceeding on a path that no one else supported. I’m not sure where I found the certainty that it was the right thing to do. But I was certain, and I held onto that certainty through the years it took. Today, when I’m essentially at the end of the process, except for the ongoing work on myself that has little to do with the sociopath anymore, I look back at it as the greatest gift I ever gave myself. It was the hardest thing I ever did. And in its own weird way, the most fun. Here is where I started. I knew that I wanted to discover and neutralize the causes of my vulnerability. I knew that my vulnerabilities pre-dated the sociopath, although he had exploited them and made them worse. I felt like my battered state and particularly the sharp emotional pain gave me something to work with that was clear and concrete, and possibly the emergence from my subconscious of a lot buried garbage that had been affecting my entire life. Ultimately, I did engage a therapist to assist me in uncovering some childhood memories, and then went back to my own work alone. My personal goal may have been more ambitious than others who come to this site. I not only wanted to heal myself from the damage of this relationship. I intended to accomplish a deep character transformation that would change the way I lived. Before I met him I was superficially successful, but I was also an over-committed workaholic with a history of relationship disasters. Except for a lot of unpublished poetry and half-written books, I had made no progress on lifelong desire to live as a creative writer. I wanted to come out of this as a strong, independent person who could visualize major goals and manage my resources to achieve them. Because I had no model for what I was trying to do, I did things that felt very risky at the time. For example, I consciously allowed myself to become bitter, an emotion I never allowed myself to feel before, because I was afraid of getting stuck there. I’ll talk about some of these risks in future pieces – what I did and how it came out. I learned techniques that I hear other people talking about here on Lovefraud, things that really helped to process the pain and loss. Some of them I adapted from reading about other subjects. Some of them I just stumbled upon, and later learned about them from books, after I’d begun practicing them. Though not all of us may think about our recovery as deep transformation work, I think all of us recognize that our beliefs, our life strategies and our emotional capacities have been profoundly challenged. We are people who are characteristically strong and caring. Personal characteristics that seemed “good” to us brought us loss and pain. After the relationship, our challenge is to make sense of ourselves and our world again, when what we learned goes against everything we believed in. What I write here is not a model for going through this recovery alone. I say I did this alone, but I recruited a therapist when I needed help. I encourage anyone who is recovering from one of these relationships to find a therapist who understands the trauma of abusive relationships, and that recommendation is doubled if, like me, you have other PSTD issues.

1/20/2009 9:48:31 AM - The healing path Given all that, this article is the first of a series about the process of healing fully. I believe that Lovefraud readers who are far down their own recovery paths will recognize the stages. Those who are just recently out of their relationships may not be able to relate to the later stages. But from my experience, my observations of other people’s recovery, and from reading the personal writings on Lovefraud, I think that all of our recovery experiences have similarities. Since my own intention in healing was to figure out what was wrong with me and fix it, this recovery path is about self-healing, rather than doing anything to or about the sociopath. However there is a stage when we do want that. We want to understand who we were dealing with. We may want recognition of our victimization, revenge or just fair resolution. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. It is a stage of recovery, and an important one. My ideas owe a lot to the Kubler-Ross grief model, as well as to recovery processes related to childhood trauma, codependency and addiction. I also owe a great deal to the writing of Stephen M. Johnson, whose Humanizing the Narcissistic Affect and Characterological Transformation: the Hard Work Miracle provided invaluable insights and encouragement.

1/20/2009 9:50:07 AM - Here is the path as I see it. 1. Painful shock 2. Negotiation with pain 3. Recognition of irretrievable loss 4. Anger 5. Measurement of damage 6. Surrender to reality of damage 7. Review of identity after damage 8. Rebuilding life strategies 9. Practice

1/20/2009 9:51:46 AM - The words here are very dry, and I apologize for that. The experience, as we all know, is more emotional than intellectual, though it taxes our thinking heavily. From what I’ve experienced and seen, some of these stages may occur simultaneously. We may feel like we’re in all of them, but working particularly in one stage more than the others. In my case, I often found that I was “going around and around the same mountain,” returning to a previous stage but at a higher level than before. There is no specific mention of depression in this list. This is because I regard it as a kind of brown-out of our emotional system, when we are simply too overwhelmed by facts and feelings that conflict with our beliefs and identities. Depression can happen at any time in this path, but feelings of depression are most likely to occur in Stage 6. Terrible as depression may feel, I believe it is evidence of a deep learning process, where our conscious minds are resisting new awareness that is developing at a deeper level. This path is a model of adult learning. It would be equally valid in facing and surmounting any major life change. If you are familiar with the Kubler-Ross grief model which was developed to describe the challenges involved with bereavement, this model will look familiar. It is essentially an extension of Kubler-Ross into a post-traumatic learning model. The trauma may be the loss of a loved one, a divorce, a job loss or change, or any of the major stressors of life. This is all about learning and evolving. If the path is traveled to its end, we emerge changed but improved and empowered. We have given up something to gain something more. The fact that this change is triggered by trauma may cause us to think that it’s a bad thing for a while, but ultimately we come to realize that we have not only recovered from a painful blow, we have truly become more than we were before.

1/20/2009 9:53:21 AM - What drives us to heal The future articles in this series will explore the stages, their value to us and how we “graduate” from one to the next. Our struggle to get over this experience involves facing our pain, which is the flip side of our intuitive knowledge of we need and want in our lives. Those needs draw us through the recovery process, like beacons on a far shore guide a ship on a stormy sea. To the extent that we can bring these needs up into conscious awareness, we can move through the path more directly, because it programs our thinking to recognize what helps and what does not. Here are a few ideas about where we think we’re going. I hope they will stimulate some discussion here, and that you will add your own objectives to the list.

1/20/2009 9:54:08 AM - 1. To relieve the pain 2. To release our unhealthy attachment to the sociopath 3. To recover our ability to love and trust 4. To recover confidence that we can take care of ourselves 5. To recover joy and creativity in our lives 6. To gain perspective about what happened 7. To recover the capacity to imagine our own futures

1/20/2009 9:54:45 AM - Finally, I want to say again how grateful I am to be writing here on Lovefraud. As you all know, it is not easy to find anyone who understands our experience or what it takes to get over it. I have been working on a book about this recovery path for several years. The ideas I’m presenting here have been developed in solitude, and “tested” to a certain extent in coaching other victims of sociopathic relationships who entered my life while I was working on my own recovery. But I’ve never had the opportunity before to share them with a group of people who really know and understand what I am talking about. I respect every stage of the recovery path – the attitudes and voices of those stages, their perspectives and the value they provide to us. So if you find me more philosophic, idealistic or intellectual than you feel right now, believe me that I have been through every bit of it. If you had met at different places on the path, you would have found a stunned, weepy, embittered, distraught, outraged or depressed person. I was in the angry phase for a very long time. I had reason to feel that way, and it was the right way for me to be at the time. I believe the stages are a developmental process that builds, one stage to the next, to make us whole. I also believe that this healing process is natural to us, and what I’m doing here is describing something that has been described by many people before me, but not necessarily in this context. Your thoughts and feedback are very important to me. Namaste. The healing wisdom in me salutes the healing wisdom in you. Kathy

1/20/2009 10:02:19 AM - Over use of the term psychopath/sociopath? Saturday, 17 January 2009 @ 12:10pm • My Weblog With the release of the Mask of Sanity in the 1940s Dr. Hervey Cleckley began the quest to describe a syndrome called psychopathy, in which affected individuals prey on others without remorse. Since people affected by the syndrome are socially disordered the syndrome has also been called sociopathy. Dr. Robert Hare extended the work of Cleckley and carefully documented the symptoms of the disorder. All this research has lead to two basic conclusions: 1. It is quite remarkable that individuals who choose a lifestyle of remorseless predation of other people are so similar in their behaviors and personality traits. 2. Equally important is the idea that non-disordered people do not “regularly” prey on others.

1/20/2009 10:03:00 AM - These two very profound conclusions have been the cause of a dilemma that is outlined by the following statement by a prominent psychopathy researcher: Clearly, not all people who are violent or callous or sadistic are psychopathic. In fact, it is probably the case that most of the cruelty in the world is not perpetrated by psychopathic individuals. Similarly, although psychopaths commit a disproportionate share of the violent crime, it seems to me that they do not commit even the majority of the violent crime. Over the last two weeks I have thought about the above dilemma, particularly since attending the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. The dilemma was also discussed at the conference in the form of questioning whether “all batters are psychopaths/sociopaths.” I want to answer this question for you in and extend the answer to the broader context of psychopathy/sociopathy and humanity. All though I have the utmost respect for the quoted psychopathy researcher, I disagree strongly with his views. I believe that ALL people who are violent, callous or sadistic (in the sense that these traits persist in them) are psychopathic.

1/20/2009 10:04:07 AM - Over the last 7 years a number of studies show that the group of traits and behaviors that group together in psychopathy act like a “dimensional trait.” By dimensional trait I mean that psychopathy is similar to height. Just as there are short people and tall people and also what we consider short and tall changes according to age, gender and geography, there are people who are more or less psychopathic. The dilemma only happens when we attempt to categorize a person and call him or her “a psychopath/sociopath.” Scientists and mental health professionals disagree about where to draw the dividing line to indicate “a psychopath,” just like you and I might disagree as to what height makes for a “tall person.” The dimension, psychopathic is also different from height in a very important respect- that is stability. Whereas height is very stable, psychopathy is only relatively stable and is affected by aging, mood disorders, substance abuse and social environment.

1/20/2009 10:04:59 AM - Now I want to explain the source of the confusion around the dimension psychopathic. The source of the confusion is a failure to understand that one issue underlies psychopathy and is the cause of the observed fact that a group of traits and behaviors cluster together in psychopathy/sociopathy. The cause of psychopathy/sociopathy is an addiction to power. The addiction to power can start at any age but as in most addictions it usually begins by the early 20s. Also like other addictions, the earlier a person becomes addicted to power, the worse the addiction. Addictions that begin early are very resistant to treatment and carry a very poor prognosis. Psychopathy/sociopathy that starts prior to age 10 (puberty) is the most devastating.

1/20/2009 10:05:57 AM - The idea that an addiction to power underlies psychopathy/sociopathy has important micro and macro implications for human society. On a micro level the family is affected by psychopathic individuals who are obsessed with the pursuit of interpersonal power at the expense of family members. Violence, callous manipulation and sadism are all part of that power fix. The person that abuses family members does so because it makes him or her feel powerful. That is true whether the abuser is mother, father, brother, sister or any other relation. The macro level is just as important. Our institutional leaders, if addicted to power produce widespread abuse in our society. Institutional leaders are bosses, politicians, teachers and the like. When we examine risk for “psychopathy” in leaders, it is useful to consider the phenomenon of addiction as applied to power. Last night we went to The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my daughter’s 18th birthday. I had one frozen mango marguerita, likely one of six I will have in all of 2009. I will also likely drink 4 glasses of wine and about three beers all year. There are many people who cannot drink just one drink because the pleasure of alcohol sets off a chemical reaction in their brains. Once they have one drink they develop a compulsion to keep drinking.

1/20/2009 10:06:47 AM - Power with me works the same way. I dislike telling other people what to do. I have had to learn to manage this dislike in order to adequately mother my children. Good parenting requires the thoughtful, careful exertion of interpersonal power. Some parents become addicted to that power and become what are called “authoritarian parents.” They are so bossy and dictatorial their poor children never learn to think for themselves. Institutional leaders are like parents. Leadership requires thoughtful, careful exertion of interpersonal power. For a psychopathic, power-addict the first time they lead the meeting fills them with pleasure and delight. They become obsessed with the feeling and so obsessed with power. Since love and power motives are mutually exclusive, eventually power consumes the person’s entire being and he/she develops all the qualities of “a psychopath.” Let us look at domestic violence again. Men and women who abuse their partners mentally, emotionally sexually and physically are not normal people who are the subjects of the influence of a violent society. They are power addicts. Just like there are societal factors in alcoholism, gambling and other addictions, there are societal influences on psychopathy. These societal influences no more cause psychopathy or power addiction, than they do alcoholism. Drinking causes alcoholism and exerting power causes psychopathy- in people with an inborn predisposition.

1/20/2009 10:13:17 AM - How to find a provider that can help you deal with what you've gone through.... ttp://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2009/01/15/evaluating-an-unknown-provider%E2%80%99s-expertise-in-sociopathy/

1/20/2009 10:15:35 AM - BOOK REVIEW: Hi Gorgeous! The first words of sociopathic seduction Monday, 19 January 2009 @ 5:04am • My Weblog Melissa K. Dean was a new lawyer in a new job. All she needed was a new romantic interest. So she posted her profile in Match.com, and received more than 30 responses in the first two days. One of the men started began his message boldly, writing, “Hi Gorgeous!” For a woman who had long doubted her feminine appeal, the words were irresistible. More words followed—words that seemed to indicate mutual interests and goals, words that appealed to the woman’s sympathies. Melissa K. Dean tells the story of being seduced by, married to, and then abused by, Jack Cass, a man who claimed to be a former Navy SEAL. It’s a classic story of sociopathic victimization.

1/20/2009 10:16:27 AM - Exotic dancer Dean tells her story in a new book available in the Lovefraud Store, Hi Gorgeous! Starry Eyes and Toxic Lies. They communicated online and by phone for a short time. Then they met for lunch, which Dean describes early in the book: Conversation superseded our interest in our salads as we prattled on about various topics, including the characteristics we valued and disliked in potential mates. He spurned spoiled princesses and victim-oriented women, a group that included his mom—a counselor “ahead of her time,” yet victimized by by his Baptist father’s verbal abuse and infidelity with Jack’s piano teacher. He hated civilians, abhorred dishonesty and disloyalty—especially infidelity. My bleeding heart was moved by his tale of woe, which he fully anticipated. Here was a man who’d been wounded on the battlefields of war and romance. “I let women walk all over me,” he proclaimed. The three purple hearts to which he laid claim paled in comparison to the heart he said was repeatedly broken by women who’d either cheated or bilked him out of money. “Learning to trust is a difficult task for me,” he said.

1/20/2009 10:17:35 AM - Can anyone say manipulation? At one point before meeting Cass, Dean worked as an exotic dancer—that’s how she earned the money to take a prep course for her bar exam. Cass was fascinated by her former stint as a stripper, and after he manipulated Dean into marriage, saw his future in marketing his wife as a sexy model and dancer at biker clubs. He, of course, had financial problems, child support payments and no steady income. But he had big ideas, which he convinced his wife to participate in. Gradually, he became more and more impatient with Dean’s contributions, and displayed his displeasure through emotional, psychological and sexual abuse.

1/20/2009 10:18:43 AM - Message of hope In their letters to Lovefraud, many people have said their experiences with a sociopath were so outrageous that they should write a book about what happened to them. Melissa Dean has done it. Many of you, who thought you were the only person on the planet experiencing the abuse and crazy-making of a sociopath, will take comfort in her story. You are not alone. In fact, many of you will recognize yourself, and the person who victimized you, in the tale. Dean’s book has a happy ending—she escapes and begins to rebuild her life, her way. Her story is proof that you can recover from the abuse. It’s the message of hope and healing we all need.

1/20/2009 10:22:11 AM - Oh the number of times that I've repeated my experience with Randy Hopper and the people whose mouths drop and they'd ask, if I'd thought of writing a book? Yes, not all applies to this man, but he certainly has a way of getting women to do as he'd like, so that he has their money, lies about his "status" and his wife. Indeed, Randy is a topic many of us could write a book on, both drama and comedy. Thinking back now, I have to laugh that I actually believed his lies.

1/23/2009 1:49:05 PM -

1/23/2009 1:57:09 PM - Nice Pic don't ya think?

1/27/2009 3:01:06 PM - ladies there is a law for what he has done to each of us, it's a federeal law and i would like to see his ass in jail, i have saved all his emails and all receipts of what he took from me. i may not get my money back, my satifaction would be seeing his face when he is finally picked up and in court

1/27/2009 4:39:23 PM - GOOD FOR YOU, I HOPE YOU GET WHAT YOU LOST TO THE MAN, YOUR RESPECT IS YOURS, HE CAN NOT TAKE THAT!

1/27/2009 6:06:10 PM - True! We should have been careful, hindsight is always perfectly clear. I loved the man too, I helped him as he'd asked, with him telling me he'd repay every penny, which I believed. My mistake in believing him. Had I known he was married and living with HIS wife, I'd never gone out with him. I know he'll be facing a judge for all he's done. Maybe more than ONE, but ONE for sure. What law are you thinking of? I am interested to know, do you have an attorney?

1/27/2009 6:47:08 PM - randy has federal internet charges facing him, i have been after his ass since 2004, and he will pay dearly for what he has done, interstate theft also, these are all federal charges, so randy i told if you didn't pay me back this will happen to you. your little world is falling apart

1/27/2009 8:42:31 PM - You aren't the only one who has charges against him. Interested in Federal internet charges, interstate theft; maybe they need to be added to those he is already facing? Have you found him? If not google him, he's easily found.

1/27/2009 9:11:19 PM - Randy pushed his luck a bit too far trying to play his games. IF you believed him it is because HE meant for you to believe he loved YOU. Do NOT DARE fault yourself for falling for his lies, he is good at what HE does.

1/27/2009 9:39:09 PM - i don't need to find i know where he is, and believe i will be there when they pick him up, and beleive me he is being watched

1/27/2009 9:42:38 PM - ladies he stolen our money, not borrowed, stolen, he's never intending to pay back

1/27/2009 10:02:48 PM - I agree, he's stolen money, we had signed and notorized statements that he'd repay me, hasn't happened, NOTHING he said he'd do has he made good on. I have had him served already and I know of another that has too and won her judgement against him. Guess you could say he's found a couple of women who aren't scared of his threats. He's confident that's for sure, but sometimes greed and confidence can be the beginnings of the end of a good thing.

1/27/2009 10:06:04 PM - Have you called the IRS on tax evasion? All that money tax free! I am sure they'd love their slice of the pie too. And would LOVE to be standing by his lovely doublewide to see him taken down a notch. How do I find you?

1/27/2009 10:23:58 PM - ladies can i ask a question you don't have to answer me if you don't want to i like to know what year did all of you meet randy, i met him 2004

1/27/2009 10:28:46 PM - and if this come to head with the federal government will any of you ladies be willing to testify, this is the only way we will be able to stop him if we all band together and stop complaing about what he did to us, work together to stop him

1/28/2009 6:53:13 AM - 2006, Shari! Oh yeah, count me in. I'll even give you the name of the attorney I have working for me. I've said all along that banding together and proving that he's done this time and time again would PROVE that he's not just down on his luck and promising to repay. He and his wife; since she is threatening to SUE me, "alienation of affection" is what she keeps yelling, funny thing is as soon as I learned he was LYING to me and was still living with his wife, I ended the "so called relationship". I am the Shari that shows up when you goggle him. Legally bound by contracts I foolishly believed that he would fulfill.

1/28/2009 7:39:41 PM - MS. HANSON, I WILL TOTALLY NEVER EVER TESTIFY AGAINST RANDY FOR ANYTHING. IN FACT, I WOULD TESTIFY for HIM IF HE ASKS. HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO ME OR ABOUT ME. AND I KNOW HE NEVER WOULD. SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO LET GO, GET OVER YOURSELF AND REALIZE THAT LIFE GOES ON. HOLDING GRUDGES DOESN'T DO ANYBODY ANY GOOD. ITS TERRIBLE WHEN YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP DIFFERENT NAMES TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THERE ARE STILL WOMEN OUT THERE WHO RANDY WRONGED. SHAME ON YOU.

1/28/2009 7:43:27 PM - You do know how to beat a dead horse don't you. Going on and on day after day about the same old thing. It's almost like you don't have a life and have all the time and money in the world to spend online to plot your revenge. That's no way for a grown woman to act. Or any woman or person for that matter. Don't you think we are all tired of the same old whining and crying? and complaining? Different day different names? And the pages and pages from the Sociopaths book..... are you kidding? B O R I N G. Get real, get original, and get a life. Thank you.

1/28/2009 7:52:07 PM - BY THE WAY... IT WAS ME.... VIVIAN WHO POSTED THE TWO BEFORE DEB'S. AND I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER EVER BLAME RANDY FOR ANYTHING IN MY LIFE THAT IS BAD. IN FACT HE IS THE GOOD IN MY LIFE. HE IS A GOOD MAN AND I TRUST IN HIM AND ALWAYS WILL. I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER FRIEND.

1/29/2009 12:45:18 PM - deb admit it he conned you just like he conned the rest of us, and know hanson is not making up names i'm a real person i did report him, and yes he is under investigation..... he's a fraud and a con man his wife is under investigation also.........if any one wants help on getting this man for what he has done to you can email me at norseprincess74@aol.com

1/29/2009 12:49:21 PM - deb you are very much a victim of him

1/29/2009 4:26:00 PM - NOBODY CAN BE A VICTIM UNLESS THEY LET THEMSELVES. DEB FREELY GAVE THIS MAN MONEY. SHE chose TO. HOW DARE YOU TELL HER THAT SHES SOMETHING SHES NOT. SHE IS SO OVER IT. SHE ISNT GOING AFTER HIM. SHE HAS NO NEED TO. THAT TELLS ME SHE IS NO VICTIM. AND I FOR ONE AM PROUD OF HER. KUDOS DEB.

1/29/2009 5:08:04 PM - but whose "they"?

1/30/2009 9:51:55 AM - Vivian, until you are intelligent enough to talk about things you have no clue about SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE! You are clueless about what YOU are talking about. And I'd kindly appreciate it IF you'd stop spreading the lies Randy is telling YOU. YOU have not, nor will you ever know what transpired between him and me. You will believe him and ONLY him because you have NO Self Worth as a woman unless you feel a man is interested in you. Now if that hurt, then think about it, because you’ve said that yourself. I have forgiven you time and time again for your CHILDISH ways as I have forgiven the great Randy Hopper for the things he's done to me. But Sweetie, or is that Princess as he calls you, his angel? Whatever IF he loved you, he'd move heaven and earth to be with you. He has used you and will continue as long as YOU allow him to. He is using you as his "SPY"...YES, and that's why no one wants to talk with you. YOU contacted ME, and talked about him like he was scum, and noooo you've not grown up and moved on. When you can say that you can wrap your simple little mind around business dealings and how they were achieved by misrepresentation, then just maybe YOU can understand where I am coming from. OH and I haven't changed screen names, shall I start listing the queen of disguises screen names. You changed them to STALK Randy, YEAH, I remember and remember well. So Missy, butt out! Randy has made his own bed, he's done this to himself, I have not. And I can not ruin HIS credit, he's ruining mine, by not making the payment on the bike, three months is what Harley has told me, so IF he expects me to pay those, then Yes, I suppose you could say that I have ruined his credit, BUTTTT then without my signature he'd never gotten a pot to piss in. So understand; to disentangle myself from him I have had no choice but to take this to the next level. I have a law suit against him, WHY, because he never followed through with the promises he'd told me, in BUSINESS dear, not love.... and HAD I known he was MARRIED, and Living with ALLISON, I'd never dated him, signed anything with him or involved myself with HIM on any level. I do not need to chase after a married man. GOT that? BACK OFF VIVIAN. I have asked you before and now, I've had it with YOU. I AM SHARI, for those who may wonder who I am. Shari5022@yahoo.com or Sharialso@aol.com I’ll be glad to answer any questions you may have, unless of course you are Vivian, who’ll never understand. Simple woman indeed, may GOD BLESS YOU.

1/30/2009 10:07:10 AM - And another thing, IF he goes to prison, it won't be due to me, ours is civil not criminal, so there again MISS V... know what you are pissed about! Clueless it would seem is YOUR middle name. Yeah... NOW meet Shari when she's pushed... You've pissed me off. So as I should, once again say.. God Forgive this foolish woman, for ever believing a word that Vivian Cummings said! Holy Spirit breathe on me once again and help me wipe her from my thoughts.

1/30/2009 10:43:14 AM - you ladies you still are what to be his friend after he took from you, yes took not borrowed, yes he is going to prison along with his wife, she is into this up to her eye balls. i reported him to stop him comletely.... so this will never happen to another woman.....i'm not afraid to stand up to him....another thing he has been after woman in pogo.com also....he's on there everyday. you ladies come in here complain about so to keep this going and it's sad...i was really angry and hurt for what he did to me for 3 yrs. from when he was in alaska till he moved north carolina....so yes i have every right to report him and have him stopped........and randy if you read this, babe i told you could be found very easily. it didn't take me long.

1/30/2009 11:25:08 AM - vivian my email is on this site talk to me, i have nothing to hide, i'm upfront about everything

1/30/2009 6:45:42 PM - FOR YEARS THIS MAN WOOED ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AND LOVE. CONNING ME OUT OF $2000 WITH HIS TALES OF WOE AND DESPAIR. AFTER BEING TOLD OVER AND OVER THAT HE WAS UNMARRIED WITH NO CHILDREN.... I FIND OUT HE HAS BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS AND HAS BEEN SCAMMING AND CONNING OTHER WOMEN OVER THE YEARS IN DIFFERENT STATES ALSO. ALASKA, NORTH CAROLINA, VIRGINIA, AND PENNSYLVANIA, AND GEORGIA TO NAME A FEW. THIS MAN IS A DESPICABLE HUMAN BEING WHO WILL PLAY ON YOUR INSECURITES FOR HIS OWN GAIN. 1/28/2009 7:52:07 PM - BY THE WAY... IT WAS ME.... VIVIAN WHO POSTED THE TWO BEFORE DEB'S. AND I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER EVER BLAME RANDY FOR ANYTHING IN MY LIFE THAT IS BAD. IN FACT HE IS THE GOOD IN MY LIFE. HE IS A GOOD MAN AND I TRUST IN HIM AND ALWAYS WILL. I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER FRIEND. (confusion? disillusional? messed up? Vivian, you lie too? seems you may have discredited any testimony you'd love to give... the first one to WS concerning George Randolph Hopper, the man she's so desperate to meet) Yours truly, see Vivian, when you push the wrong buttons I will hand it right back...for the Record, YOU need to stop assuming and get YOUR facts straight.S

2/1/2009 4:26:20 AM - What? Nothing to say? Did she hit the nail on the head? You are messed up V. Guess maybe you did some thinking of your own, No apologies? Oh come on, shouldn't you admit when YOU are wrong V? Get over yourself, move on, stop beating that dead horse, whining? Yeah, You don't know half of what you think you do. Ignornace is bliss...until you start with rumors, then it's wrong!

2/1/2009 4:29:33 AM - Randy Hopper lies and you know he does, you've sent all the sociopath stuff to all of us before. Telling us to take a look at it to see if it didn't sound like someone we knew. You were right, sounds just like Randy, but maybe you too since you don't seem to want to state the truth. Oh right, You will do anything for this man, lie for him? Steal too??? What else? Only so you can keep him talkin go you. I'd have to say that you live your fantasy life through this, you have to keep it stirred up. Love how you would copy and paste all the conversations we had and send them to him, you aren't a friend, never was and never will be, because YOU don't understand how it is to be a friend. You are to be pitied right along with Randy. Lairs!

2/1/2009 4:34:01 AM - And just in case you are wondering, or flattering yourself into thinking that YOU are the only one he talks to, lol... then think again. No one wants a lying, stealing, MARRIED bum for their man. He's all yours, funny though like it was said, IF he loved you, you'd had his 30 seconds already! Good luck and have a blast but keep your mouth shut on things you don't know for a fact, because that's spreading HIS lies.

2/1/2009 12:11:15 PM - this is to the one who is calling us liars, how can we be lying when we all have proof what he has done to us. and it's worth the paper it's printed on. and to randy you told me you leave no paper trails. babe you left plenty

2/1/2009 3:14:16 PM - Anyone of us that chats on the Internet may have a long list of friends. But how many of us have EVER asked to borrow from One, Two or even Three of them? I have not, nor would I.

2/1/2009 3:15:37 PM - So having said that, THINK if you can, about how many times we were each asked to "help him out". When you borrow from one or two friends and you say I'll repay, then that's borrowing. When you have as many "friends" as Randy has borrowed from, and we are all asking him to repay as he's promises and he's not; doesn't it click that this man is using women to make a living?

2/1/2009 3:16:38 PM - Why shouldn't we all be mad as HELL that we were told that he'd repay us. Didn't we lend in good faith? Why shouldn't we be mad as HELL that he lied to all of us about his situation? Why should anyone BELIEVE a word he says? This man has a pattern that he's shown us and this site has warned others about

2/1/2009 3:18:37 PM - If he has charges brought against him, then chances are he deserves what he gets. Granted IF you or I had borrowed from HIM, he'd be wanting HIS money back.

2/1/2009 3:19:29 PM - Don't think because he tells you he's down on his luck, has hurt his back and drawing worker's comp (have to work and not be paid under the table for that), has had back surgery, has chest pains, has a sick parent, sleeping in homes he is remodeling with roaches crawling across him at night, no heat, no food or a sick and dying dog... does anyone have the terrible luck this one man could have? I have to say it took someone really LOW to make money on the death of dog, one woman put it on her credit card, then how many others sent him money to HELP with the expenses?

2/1/2009 3:20:42 PM - Do you not see a sick human being here? So no, I don't feel the least bit of pity for him. He's made this mess HIMSELF. He is the one who needs to start cleaning it up. So STOP the name calling and if you have sympathy for the man, ask yourself why? The only sympathy I have is for his family that will be hurt by this. HE NEEDS HELP!

2/2/2009 12:25:54 PM - gee vivian you don't like my comments on your 360, i told you i'm a real person, aperson who was conned by our dear randy since 2004......since you talk to him so much surely he told you all about me in his own way. you need to read between the lines with what comes out of his mouth....as i told i could tell you myself, you hide behide him......to get your little crumbs

2/2/2009 7:49:30 PM - Randy does tell you his plans. He's scared, guess he's thinking about running so us bad SHEWOLVES/DEVILS/WHORES/PIECES OF ASS/COWS/SLUTS.. OR WHATEVER HE CAN THINK OF WITH HIS INFINATE WISDOM OF FOUL LANGUAGE can't get him? It's a terrible feeling to realize that someone you believed loved you and only wanted your BEST interest at heart has seen past your lies, one of us at a time! You LIED, you STOLE from US and Now you are threatening us? AS HARD AS YOU MAY TRY TO PASS THE BLAME ON TO US, REALIZE YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF RANDY HOPPER, YOU DID IT TO RANDY, NONE OF US DID IT TO YOU...Oh and let's not forget YOU TRIED SOOO HARD TO KEEP YOUR WIFE ALLISON A SECRET! How was it you put it?... Poor mentally challenged Allison, too weak to make it on her own, seems to me she's held a job and you? How do you make your living now? Has your worst nightmare materialized yet? Give it Time it's simmering... YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF!

2/3/2009 10:08:45 AM - Betrayed, uh huh certainly KNOW how that feels now don't we all? You too Babe, do you feel betrayed? Betrayed that we found out that you lied to all of us? That's right Babe, you did this to Randy Hopper! Just think of how HURT we all felt to have learned we meant nothing to you!

2/4/2009 11:15:36 AM - still hiding randy afraid to own up, oh you will,come on you were always telling you were a man, your just a little mouse caught in his own trap, you got to greedy, and your wife is just as guilty as you are, she benefited from it, or randy are you hiding behind your mother''s skirt

2/4/2009 12:09:05 PM - Do you feel like maybe you've pressed your luck a bit too far? Bit off more than you can comfortably chew? Maybe the great warrior isn't so great after all? All full of foul language, threats, and control tatics that have worked in the past on women wondering what happened that the threats, foul language, and control aren't still working? Realize that women are not as STUPID as you'd like to believe they all are...lol, off the scale genius what now?

2/4/2009 12:31:36 PM - And the word is OUT you aren't worth the time!

2/4/2009 3:16:50 PM - mouse here''s some cheese come get it.....come on little mousy......scared of that piece of cheese........you were greedy enough before

2/4/2009 6:40:07 PM - Lovefraud recently received an email from a young man, we’ll call him Kyle, who has just broken up with a woman whom he now believes is a sociopath. Based on the behavior he described, I’d say the guy is right. The woman cheated on him, and when confronted, either downplayed her behavior, said it was none of his business, or verbally attacked him. She had no interest in resolving problems. “Her solution to everything was to run, wait awhile, and then pile on affection as if nothing ever happened,” Kyle wrote. DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ANYONE WE KNOW?

2/4/2009 6:43:13 PM - Wondering HOW many times Randy has done that. Called us names, belittled us, blamed us for all his problems, then realized without the goodness of his women, he''d be up the creek without a paddle. I for one think it''s time to leave him high and dry without the paddle. NO MORE FORGIVING, NO MORE BELIEVING, AND NO MORE TIME.

2/4/2009 7:07:51 PM - The sociopath has never really shared a pleasure with you. Even the sex was not about sharing. The sex was about the sociopath’s pleasure and his or her prowess as a lover. LoveFraud That explains the blink and it's over!

2/5/2009 6:40:58 PM - why so he can go on hurting and con other woman.......which he wiil continue to do till he is completely stopped

2/5/2009 6:50:18 PM - Oh Stop YOUR Whining! Grow UP, and DO get a LIFE! He knows he did all this, and he loves the attention, some folks just live for it. Reality IS IF he cared a rats ass about any ONE of us he'd not asked to borrow and never made an honest attempt to repay. He'd never talked about any of us like we were dogs or worse, and remember that was ages before this site was ever set up...just keep whinng... we'll keep it going as long as necessary! He's not shown that he can even be a FRIEND, because friends to not do people the way he has. Oh and IF it bothers you, then do as you say and stop coming to look! It would seem you enjoy reading and commenting! Oh yeah, you think it's all about YOU too! HAHAHA the fading flower.

2/5/2009 6:52:02 PM - It''s time he''s stopped don''t you think? I do. IF you don''t like what is said, and can not accept that the truth sometimes HURTS, then don''t come here. I have not posted any lies. Have you?

2/6/2009 6:48:33 AM - a certain someone must not be getting enough information, so he must not be talking to her anymore

2/6/2009 11:34:59 AM - if he wants to find out what is being said about him, let him find out for himself, he''s a big boy, and needs to admit that he broke the law, and the only to that was to press charges on him, after that he will be left alone

2/6/2009 11:36:57 AM - and viv i don''t over react i state facts, true facts

2/10/2009 9:03:28 AM - For any of you who have been down the Randy Hopper Highway, I feel you can relate to the article below. I did. Thank each of you for all your help in allowing me to know I was not on this highway alone.

2/10/2009 9:04:13 AM - Are We There Yet? Tuesday, 10 February 2009 @ 5:00am • My Weblog By OxDrover I remember when I was a little kid, driving with my parents, sitting in the back seat sans seatbelt there were no such things in those days and leaning over the front seat, repeatedly asking my parents, “Are we there yet?” or “How long til we get there?” Of course there had been no reasonable way for my parents to convey to me “how long” since I didn’t tell time when I was four, so there was no use saying “one hour” because I wouldn’t be able to comprehend what an “hour” was. Time is sort of fluid anyway, relative to what is going on. If you are bored, an hour is forever. If you are interested in something, an hour is very short. To a bored child in the back seat of a car, the trip seems to take forever with no end in sight. The trip is a price to be paid for arriving at the destination. When I started the journey toward Healing from my prior experiences with the psychopaths in my life and family, I was in pain. I wanted the journey to be over I wanted to get to being healed quickly. The journey itself didn’t interest me any more than the passing countryside had interested me when I was riding in the back seat of my parents’ car. I was tired of that trip before it even started. I wanted to be there!

2/10/2009 9:05:01 AM - Unlike the smooth ride in the backseat of my parents’ car, which required no effort on my part, this journey to Healing required me to steer and power the vehicle. I had to make sure I didn’t run out of fuel, and that the equipment was in order. Some days my tires went flat and I had to get out and fix them. Other days my emotional radiator boiled over and I sat feeling helpless on the side of the road with smoke boiling out from under my hood. Some days I was simply out of gas with no refueling station anywhere in sight as far as the eye could see. The road to Healing was a terrible road, with huge potholes that seemed to appear out of nowhere, and sometimes my wheels would hit these potholes. My tires would sink to the axle and I would have to get out and dig and dig until I could get enough dirt pushed under them to get the car out. Other times, the road would be slimed with mud and I would skid into the ditches of despair. From time to time I would see someone else along the road, and occasionally someone would come along when I needed help the most and offer me a very welcome hand.

2/10/2009 9:05:40 AM - I became so tired from this journey that I just wondered if I would ever get there. What I really wanted was someone to come along and offer me a magic carpet so I could just fly over all this terrible barren terrain and I could just get there to Healing! Often times the signposts along the road were unclear and I wasn’t even sure I was even on the right road. Other times, some prankster must have turned the signs around because I would take a turn, certain I was reading the sign correctly, and wind up down a dead end trail with barely enough room to turn my vehicle around. At times like these I felt so utterly alone and stupid for not being more careful and allowing myself to get off the correct road. One day when I felt that I just couldn’t go on any longer, that it was too much work to keep my old vehicle going with broken springs that seemed to make each rut, each pot hole, and each rock in the road jar my back teeth loose, I discovered I was no longer on the road alone. I looked around me and I saw other people on the road. Where had they come from? Had they been there before and I was too self absorbed, too weighted down with my own woes, to even notice them? I also noticed that some of these people were riding bicycles, some were on scooters, some were walking. Some of the others on the road were on crutches, or in wheel chairs, and some of these people were even crawling.

2/10/2009 9:06:26 AM - I looked around at these people and then back at my old vehicle with its rusting fenders, threadbare tires and leaking radiator, but I realized that it was not so “bad” after all. It might not have been a Cadillac, but I wasn’t having to walk or crawl. I realized there were others who were less fortunate than me. I felt shame in myself for being so self absorbed, for not realizing that I didn’t have it “so bad” after all. I recited the old saying about, “I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.” I thanked God for my old vehicle. As I restarted my journey I became acquainted with some of my fellow travelers, and we shared our stories, our pains, and our insights. When we would come to a crossroads that seemed confusing, we would help each other, and if one fell down, the others reached out to him to help him up. Having company on the journey made it seem less lonely. Though there was no magic carpet there to whisk me away to the destination of Healing, it was comforting to have company. Sometimes I would pause and rest a while with a fellow traveler. As we traveled down the road we would meet new travelers, freshly injured, also seeking Healing. Those of us on the road would call to them to join us in the journey, comforting and supporting each other on the way. Sometimes the newly injured would join us, but other times, those bleeding injured souls would wander off the road or fall in to the abyss and no matter how we would call to them, they would not answer and sorrowfully, we would have to move on down the road toward Healing without them.

2/10/2009 9:07:11 AM - No matter how far I traveled it never seemed I was any nearer to Healing than before. As I traveled the road, it became smoother and I was becoming stronger from my struggles to climb the hills, cover the hurdles, get out of the pot holes, but I never saw a sign that said “how long ’til we get there.” I never saw a sign that said, “Healing 50 miles.” I began to wonder if I would ever arrive at Healing. I even asked some of my fellow travelers, “Are we there yet? How long ’til we get there?” No one could answer me. No one could tell me “how long before we get there?” As I traveled and the road became smoother, and there were even stretches of pavement that I could roll across without the jarring rocks and ruts, and I began to enjoy the journey. I would gaze off into the distance and see mountains and vistas of incredible beauty that filled my heart with joy just to behold. I had passed out of the terrible salt flats of hell and reached a place where there was beauty and joy, and the road was smoother. Even my old vehicle started to run better and give me less trouble, and I found refueling stations on a regular basis and quit forgetting to check the oil and tire pressure, so I didn’t have flats and other problems so often any more. Along the road I had also seen some changes and growth in my traveling partners. They were becoming stronger and starting to sing as they walked or rode along. Even some of those in wheel chairs were beginning to walk again, and some that had used crutches had thrown them away and were walking straight and strong. It made me happy to see my new friends recovering and getting better and stronger it made me feel good to feel stronger myself.

2/10/2009 9:08:01 AM - At times my new friends and I would talk about our former lives before we started on the Healing road, and sometimes we even missed some of those people we had had to leave behind. Unkind people who had wounded us, yet we loved and missed, but even those memories of our former lives started to change as we sang along the road toward Healing. We started to make new plans and put together new lives. I would reach milestones from time to time, the milestone of setting boundaries, another one for forgiveness and a milestone for honesty. As I passed each milestone I felt renewed strength and stamina, but I wondered, “When will I get to Healing? When will I be there?” Then I came to a milestone that said, “Healing is a journey, not a destination.” I realized that there was no end to the Healing Road it would go on for the rest of my life. It isn’t about getting to some place and being there it is about enjoying the journey. It is about growth and learning and companionship with others on the same road. It is about comforting others who have fallen, as there were those that comforted you when you fell. It is the shared experiences of seeing the sun shining on the distant mountains, or reassuring each other during a storm. Healing is about life—living life, experiencing life, and sharing life.

2/10/2009 9:24:33 AM - Unfortunately part of the reason I''''ve made so many wrong turns is because he manages to lie so well. He has tried to make those of us that he''''s abused both emotionally and verbally believe that he loves us. Maybe in HIS own way he does, but then the next breath he takes is filled with more lies. So how do you truly know that he is capable of love? I have forgiven him, but will never forget the things he''''s said about me. He knows the truth, and he knows in his heart that NOT ONE OF US did this to him. He has brought this upon himself. He will learn to accept this, or he will continue to fight the demons within him that haunt him. Randy Please, go and get help... You know all of us couldn''''t be wrong. God forgives, even when you don''t believe you deserve it, and so will we, but first you have to forgive yourself. Never doubt that you aren''t in our prayers, after all we totally did love you. We never lied to you about that.

2/10/2009 9:25:01 AM - The road to recovery hasn''''t been easy for us, and I doubt seriously it will be easy for anyone who believed in you...but you have to try. Try to be the man that you so wanted us to believe you to be, you asked us to believe in you, we tried, now it''''s time for you to believe in yourself

2/11/2009 9:22:24 AM - That mustashe is kinda gray, they make products to cover it, along with the sides too, maybe you should color the gray! or have you?

2/11/2009 12:01:01 PM - When someone lies and keeps on lying about his intentions, why do we allow it? We can not continue to listen to his half truths and believe the man will change? Maybe he can, or maybe he can''t, but he has to WANT to GROW UP and be a MAN. Right now all he''s shown me is that he wants everything his way. He is not being responsible. Responsible MEN, Randy Hopper pay their bills and don''t make loans they can not fulfill.

2/11/2009 12:02:34 PM - READ THIS AND READ IT CLOSELY......JUST MAYBE YOU''LL SEE WHAT OR WHY HE IS GETTING BY WITH WHAT HE DOES. Sociopaths, cluster B personality disorders and psychopathy Friday, 6 February 2009 @ 11:56am • My Weblog A sociopath is someone who has a pervasive and persistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others. This disregard is manifested in the antisocial behavior sociopaths show. While we usually think of antisocial behavior as criminal, not all antisocial acts are illegal. A person who slips up once is not a sociopath. Sociopathy is a lifestyle.

2/11/2009 12:04:15 PM - Since humans are designed to live in society, a healthy personality has prosocial inclinations. Therefore, people who are pervasively antisocial are disordered in the sense that they are not the norm thank God. Although antisocial behaviors are observable actions like lying, stealing and assault, there are personality traits that cause antisocial behavior. It should come as no surprise that people who have a sense of entitlement, overrate their own greatness and have poor selfcontrol are more likely to hurt others and show pervasive antisocial behavior.

2/11/2009 12:05:42 PM - The American Psychiatric Association has defined a group of personality disorders it calls “cluster B”. According to a recent paper* by German psychiatrist, Christian Huchzermeier, M.D., “ The cluster includes disturbances of personality that go hand in hand with emotional dysregulation phenomena, a tendency towards aggressive—impulsive loss of control, egoistic exploitation of interpersonal relationships, and a tendency to overestimate one’s own importance.”

2/11/2009 12:07:26 PM - The disorders of “cluster B” go together because what underlies them is a disturbance in three developmentally acquired abilities I have called The Inner Triangle. These abilities are:

2/11/2009 12:08:12 PM - Ability to Love Impulse Control Moral Reasoning

2/11/2009 12:09:02 PM - These abilities that a child gains during development are a triangle because the development of each depends on the other two. A child begins to acquire ability to love in the first year of life, impulse control begins in the second year of life. At two years of age there is already a link between ability to love and impulse control. Children with the best impulse control also are the most loving/empathetic. Moral reasoning begins in the third year of life and its development depends on a loving nature and impulse control. Similarly the most moral kids are also the most loving and selfcontrolled.

2/11/2009 12:10:56 PM - ''''''''''I think of the cluster B disorders as different manifestations of damage to the inner triangle. I think of sociopaths as individuals who completely lack ability to love and have impaired impulse control and moral reasoning.''''''''''

2/11/2009 12:11:55 PM - Given the Inner Triangle, it should come as no surprise that it can be difficult to find people who have only one cluster B personality disorder. For that reason individuals with antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality and histrionic personality often have symptoms of the other disorders. If someone gets a diagnosis of only one of these, it doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t also have one or all of the others. The person making the diagnosis simply thought that the one chosen best described the person. You should know there is a gender bias in diagnosis such that women are often labeled “borderline.” These women can also be sociopaths who leave a trail of victimized friends, lovers and children in their wakes.

2/11/2009 12:12:53 PM - A recent study reported in Behavioral Science and the Law, “The Relationship Between DSMIV Cluster B Personality Disorders and Psychopathy According to Hare’s Criteria: Clarification and Resolution of Previous Contradictions” examines the relationship between psychopathic personality traits as defined by the screening version of the PCL and Cluster B personality disorders. The authors of this study were careful to examine people who had only one cluster B disorder. They found psychopathy to be associated with all cluster B disorders.

2/11/2009 12:13:50 PM - The authors conclude: “One clinical implication of our results, nevertheless, is that in cases where a cluster B personality disorder is diagnosed a high psychopathy value is to be expected, especially where antisocial, borderline or narcissistic personality disorder is involved. The PCL score is a better predictor of subsequent events, such as problems during criminal custody or a relapse into delinquency, than a diagnosis of a DSMIV personality disorder, especially in forensic populations therefore, an additional investigation with the PCL should be carried out, if a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed.”

2/11/2009 12:15:59 PM - It is important for Lovefraud readers to be aware of this study especially if there is a divorce/custody proceeding or a cluster B personality disorder has been diagnosed. Many people might think that if the partner has been “diagnosed borderline” or “diagnosed narcissistic” that means the partner is not a psychopath/sociopath. This study suggests otherwise. IF YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THESE YOU HAVE TO CONSIDER THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOR AS AN INDICATION OF PSYCHOPATHY/SOCIOPATHY. There are some people with cluster B, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic disorders who are not highly antisocial. ''''''''''But if the person is lying, cheating and manipulating, that is antisocial behavior.'''''''''' This behavior in the context of any cluster B means the person is potentially very dangerous.

2/11/2009 12:16:57 PM - As the authors state: “Screening for PCLbased psychopathy can also be important for general psychiatric patients with a DSMIV personality disorder, so that potential difficulties in the course of their treatment can be anticipated and this comorbidity can be targeted in the planning of therapy. Patients with both a DSMIV personality disorder and PCLbased psychopathy can exhibit behavior that is particularly dangerous to therapy Stafford & Cornell, 2003.”

2/11/2009 12:17:56 PM - If you have been diagnosed with borderline personality and reading this frightens you, I am sorry. You can improve by working on your inner triangle. Talk to your therapist about DBT a treatment that is very effective in improving the state of the Inner Triangle in people who are motivated to do it. *The reference for the paper discussed is Behav. Sci. Law 25: 901–911 2007.

2/11/2009 12:23:35 PM - He is perfectly happy with his life as he knows it, after all, he woos women into a false sense of security and tells them how special they are to him. That he has always cared for them, no matter what he''s done in the past, he only asks that you forgive him. He is trying to do better, he''s in therapy, BUT IF HE DOESN''T WANT TO GET BETTER HE WON''T... after all, he''s getting money, or is managing to get the things he wants by the goodness of others. IF you allow him to keep coming back and playing on your mercies, then why should he stop? He won''t. He''ll laugh at all of us for once again being sucker punched into believing his sick lies.

2/11/2009 6:31:39 PM - If it totally goes over your head and you can''t understand what is said, then don''t come back. Yawning because you can''t understand is an old high school trick. Used it then too I betcha!

2/12/2009 8:20:58 AM - why Randy, nobody funding you now, or is there it can be found out

2/12/2009 12:05:01 PM - come on Randy where''''s your dark side now, was there ever one, running because your nothing but yellow to face up to all you and your wife has done, tell me is she still standing by you, one wonders if i were her i would of distance myself from you along time ago....since she probably is she will be going down along with you, too bad allison you backed the wrong man, have no pity for you, to the both of you you play you pay, simple as that, gee i still might send that letter to your mother, and all the lovely pics i have of you, and she might be very angry about them. or i could just talk to her in person, know where she lives, evidence doesn't lie babe

2/12/2009 2:02:07 PM - then why keep reading if it bores you, someone doesn''t have a life

2/12/2009 3:08:21 PM -

2/12/2009 3:21:36 PM - NAIVE? Oh my dear, you are quiet wrong there. The postings are shared so that others who don''t have their head so far up his ass, can see how and exactly what Randy does. There are sometimes that NONfiction is necessary to read, but then when you''ve never lived in a real world only a fantasy one, you would be bored! Oh Stupid people? Most of these articles are written by doctors and such, but then that would be like a low flying airplane, right over YOUR head. And you talk about believing everything that someone is told? Look in the mirror, make sure it''s full length too, so you can see all of yourself. Tell it like it is V... you KNOW how he is. I have conversations where you''ve said that you KNOW what he does, and YOU know he lies. So you are not doing YOUR FRIEND any justice by allowing him to keep on this downward spiral. Will you stop telling him he''s doing a great job and you are proud of him stealing and cheating when he finally can''t handle it any more and puts a GUN TO HIS HEAD? True friends are HONEST to each other, they don''t condone actions that will hurt others or land them in jail.

2/12/2009 3:27:55 PM - OR could it be that YOU see yourself in the lovefraud posting? Maybe you realize the truth and you are trying desperately to hide it? You know that he''s wrong, you have admitted it time and time again, but as the sociopath believes he''s entitled to anything he wants, gets angry when he''s not given it, or it''s as plain as the nose on your face that he can''t genuninely love anyone, but keep on telling him you love him, keep on telling him he''s doing the right thing, and when your warrior or raven ends up having to face a judge or jury for the wrong he''s done then what? VIVIAN IF YOU LOVE THE MAN YOU''D HELP HIM GET HELP, NOT TELL WE ARE ALL JEALOUS OF YOU, that the biggest joke of all. No one wants to be like YOU, you are a sad woman, with no life and only make believe friends who lie to her.

2/12/2009 3:37:31 PM - NIAVE IS WHAT YOU ARE TO BELIEVE HIM. HE''LL STOP CALLING AGAIN, AND HE''LL CALL YOU RUDE NAMES LIKE HE HAS ALL OF US. IN FACT I''VE HEARD HIM PUT YOU DOWN, CALL YOU AWFUL NAMES AND POST UGLY THINGS ABOUT YOU. BUT YOU''VE FORGIVEN HIM, ALL IS FINE NOW, HE CALLS YOU ARE HAPPY AS A PIG IN MUD. BY NOT FACING THE TRUTH, KEEP BELIEVING YOU ARE HELPING HIM. SO IF AT ONE TIME WE BELIEVED HIS LIES AND WE WERE SMART ENOUGH TO REALIZE HE CAN NOT TELL THE TRUTH, WE''VE PUT HIM BEHIND US, BUT DO TRY TO WARN OTHERS ABOUT HIS LIES....PRAYTELL, WHY DO YOU BELIEVE HIM? OR ARE YOU ONLY SAYING THAT?

2/12/2009 3:52:31 PM - And then ask yourself Vivian, IF he does love you, why has he never felt the need to meet you face to face? He''''s USING YOU, and you are his doormat! HE''''S STOMPING HIS FEET ON YOU, and you think we are the STUPID ones believing him? GO FIGURE!

2/12/2009 3:53:41 PM - Now put your sad little bleach blond head on a pillow and don''t try straining your brain by trying to understand real life. Go back to Patterson, it''s call FICTION!

2/12/2009 4:00:04 PM - Randy YOU know exacty what you are doing and have done. You are not a man, you are a sad excuse for the man you would have wanted us to have seen in you. GET help, and realize Vivian lies as well as you do. Your true friends are the ones asking YOU why you feel the need to lie about everything.

2/12/2009 4:00:43 PM - Randy realize too that there will be a breaking point where those true friends who are screaming out for you to get help, will have had enough of your lies. Then you''''ll be stuck with HER, and your faithful wife, bless her soul. Where''''s that genius IQ that you are always bragging about? Oh wait that was a lie too. Yeah we all realized you only believed yourself to be the genius. We didn''''t believe everything like V does, but she really does make you feel smart.

2/12/2009 9:38:15 PM - SHE WHINES AND CRIES BUT KEEPS COMING BACK HERE, TRYING TO MAKE THIS ALL ABOUT HER. IF SHE CAN'T STAND THE HEAT, THEN SHE SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH THE FIRE. IT ISN'T ABOUT HER IT'S ABOUT A MAN WHO LIES AND CONS WOMEN OUT OF THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY. IF SHE'S HELPING HIM SHE'S AN ACCOMPLISE. COVEN? BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR SLANDER.

2/13/2009 4:29:49 AM - Don''t you love it when the drama queen gets her panties in a wad and keeps adding to the comments, we''ll be over 600 soon! She''s great isn''t she? And she wonders why she''s called drama queen.... It''s too bad she can''t see the plank in her eye for looking for the splinter in other''s. Once again, IF you loved the man, you''d encourage HIM to do what is right, and stop his cons, but you seem to encourage. IF a Christian is doing wrong it is up to is brother to point it out to him as offten as necessary. He''s answering to God, and not any of us. We are only trying to help him see what he''s doing. And unfortunatly the drama queen can''t see her own wrong doing. She condemns for lying, yet she has so many times, and condones his. Entertainment? Glad you find it so, because you are pitied for your actions.

2/13/2009 9:21:15 AM - DRAMA QUEEN TAKING A BOW

2/13/2009 11:57:52 AM - Sure you would, but you have a life...lol

2/13/2009 4:11:31 PM - Oh Babe, you Valentine's present is on it's way.

2/13/2009 4:12:14 PM - I certainly hope you realize all the work I put into this just for You.

2/13/2009 4:12:58 PM - Hopefully your unsuspecting wife won''t get this before you!

2/13/2009 4:14:34 PM - Just remember Babe, I love you just like you love me! Maybe we can get together soon? OK

2/14/2009 6:36:04 AM - DREAM ON, LIKE THAT WILL HAPPEN, RANDY IS JUST A USER, A THIEF, A CON ARTIST, AND ALL AROUND LIAR, FACE IT, EVERY WORD OUT OF HIS HAS NO MEANING

2/14/2009 8:00:55 AM - unsuspecting wife that''s a joke, she in with him up to her eyeballs and beyond

2/14/2009 12:45:03 PM - Oh YES, she knows very well, then tries to backpaddle when she's confronted. She could have put a stop to this if she'd contacted me from the start, but no she was benefiting, so she didn't feel the need. Allison may not have been able to stop him, but she didn't bother to let anyone know either. So according to what the law has told me, she's just as guilty.

2/14/2009 12:47:11 PM - And Ms V, as far as being in a coven? I am not nor have I ever practiced witchcraft. I believe you need to back off with that crap, because that''s what it is, all part of your fantasy world.

2/14/2009 12:54:15 PM - I think the woman posting i love you LIKE you love me.... was being a bit sarcastic.

2/14/2009 5:11:39 PM - Oh My Goodness... just can''t stay away now can you? What happened to lying low? Stood up again? I do wish you'd get your 30 secs so you'd stop being so bitchy!

2/14/2009 5:17:45 PM - It''s not hard to determine who the idiot is. She''s the one believing he loves her when he''s never touched her. Enough Said.

2/14/2009 5:20:45 PM - You say you would like to help me, yet in the same breath you attack and embarrass me with that question about money? And you wonder why I will never ask nor take any thing from you ever. I''m on my way back to Alaska. I''ve had enough of the bullshit down here. As for how I''m doing? I''ve told you over an over again. I lost my truck due to non payment, my r.v. I sold for almost nothing. 2 of 3 sons I had to tell them to go due to drug use. I had to have my dog put down, due to misdiagnosed medical problems from an incompitent vet who even now i could kill with my bare hands. Unable to work due to sever back problems. I think that about sums it up. But don''t you worry. When I can I''ll get back to you what you helped me with. From this point on I''m shutting down. I''ll be on the road.

2/14/2009 5:23:27 PM - Subject: Re: Reminder: You have an ecard waiting for you at AOL Greetings Date: 10/1/2007 10:43:48 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time From: mysticwarrior113@yahoo.com Reply To: To: gr8estgyrlfriend@aol.com As for your man ? and me being lucky not to see him face to face? I won''t even respond to your words. All you ever wanted was to get naked and have sex on cam. And every e mail, off line you ever wrote describes this in full, as for my life? Yes I have turned my life around. Its all about change. What about you? Are you still getting naked on line? Doesn''t matter. You are no one to ever judge me or any one, less you have turned away from the sins you commit daily. As for contacting me in the future? You are blocked. on e mails and off lines. With in the next week. I''ll be back on the road. I have your address, I''ll be in touch. Make sure you say hi to Shari now.

2/14/2009 5:25:14 PM - Subject: no subject Date: 10/1/2007 5:59:54 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time From: GR8ESTGYRLFRIEND Reply To: To: mysticwarrior113@yahoo.com I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I HEARD FROM SHARI, ANOTHER WOMAN YOU HURT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? GOD I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. IMAGINE YOU AND HER TALKING ABOUT YOU WANTING TO BE A MINISTER? OF ALL THINGS? HOW MANY COMMANDMENTS HAVE YOU BROKEN ALREADY? HOW MANY OF GODS WORDS ARE YOU BENDING TO YOUR OWN SATISFACTION? NUMBER ONE WOULD BE ADULTERY .. NUMBER TWO WOULD BE LYING.... NUMBER THREE WOULD BE STEALING.... NUMBER FOUR WOULD BE CHEATING..... I COULD GO ON RANDY, BUT YOU GET THE IDEA... YOUR LIST OF WOMEN GROWS AND GROWS. AND YET STUPIDLY I WAIT FOR MY MONEY. I KNOW I KNOW... ITS ALL ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU ARE HURT, CANT WORK, HAD TO SELL EVERYTHING... GEE... DID YOU SPEND my MONEY ON SHARI, OR ALLISON, OR THE OTHER WOMAN DOWN THERE YOU ARE SEEING? OR WAIT... MAYBE SAM OR BETTER YET THE ONES IN ALASKA YOU STILL TALK TO? FROM NOW ON EVERY BLOG I WRITE, OR SPACE I SIGN UP FOR, OR WOMAN I MEET ON HERE,OR MEN FOR THAT MATTER .. I WILL MENTION A PERSON { NOT A MAN BY ANY MEANS } WHO IS THE MOST VICIOUS, LYING, ARROGANT, SELF CENTERED PERSON I KNOW. TRUST ME SOME ALREADY KNOW ABOUT YOU... AND A FEW HAVE OFFERED TO GET MY MONEY PERSONALLY FROM YOU. BUT I AM FAR TO NICE FOR VIOLENCE. YES FOR ONCE RANDY... IT IS ABOUT me. WHAT I WANT , WHAT I NEED, WHAT I DESERVE.... WHILE YOU HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT TO ME.... I AM NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT .... AND NEEDY. YOU DON''T DESERVE MY GOODNESS OR LOVE... THAT IS HELD FOR THE MAN I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR YEARS. JUST BE GLAD HE HASNT MET YOU IN PERSON.

2/14/2009 5:26:18 PM - Looks like you are right, there is an idot!

2/14/2009 5:29:23 PM - No gun... just never told the truth! DECEPTION!

2/14/2009 5:55:54 PM - AS has been said before and will be once again...this site is to post about men who for whatever reason have misrepresented themselves, cheated on their wives, or lovers, and are just bums. So if you can not accept the purpose for the postings, it''s beyond me why you love coming here? You love the DRAMA, you love to say we whine, when you are the ONLY one who is whining. You are the one who keeps posting the same words over and over... you don''t like copy and pasting? BUT you are sooo good at it, you copy everything and send it to him, maybe it''s time he learns that you did the same to his words to you?

2/14/2009 6:16:28 PM - Laughing... my sympathies, you have the 30 second man .. REMEMBER YOU STARTED ALL THIS...YOU POSTED FIRST

2/14/2009 6:17:42 PM - HEY... AT LEAST YOU CAN''T COPY AND PASTE THIS WITH YOUR EDITS, TO YOUR SATISFACTIONS... IT''S HERE! IN YOUR FACE!

2/14/2009 6:18:13 PM - DAMN SKIPPY! YOU GO GIRL!

2/14/2009 7:07:35 PM - The difference in a woman who has to have Randy and me is I respect myself. I won''t nor do I want a man who lies, cheats, cons, doesn''t make payments and continues to NOT accept HIS responsibilities etc, Had I known he was married, he lied of course I''d never be here. Give him a big hug and remind him, HIS mistake!

2/15/2009 4:27:57 AM - Since I am neither than I suppose I am not having to worry, but maybe those who lie should become worried.

2/15/2009 4:30:16 AM - Oh dear let''s not forget people who are having a relationship normally do engage in sexual intercourse. Especially when you are in love, you know the physical love that touching, looking into each other''s eyes, and hearing LIES may cause yout to actually believe the man? As I have said Randy is very good making you believe you are the ONE he''s waited on all his life. So IF you''ve never spread yours, then my dear cast the first stone.

2/15/2009 4:32:39 AM - But then, I am not the one who has sent pictures of male organs out to some of us and had to recant and say Oops, that''s not his....

2/15/2009 10:36:04 AM - Childish name calling? You''ve nothing better than to call women names? Goodness me, but know this, God will judge and his fire is pure HELL.

2/15/2009 2:47:35 PM - YOU HAVE BRAGGED MAYBE? RANDY'S EMAIL TO YOU? THE FACT THAT YOU SHARED SOME PORN CARDS THAT YOU AND HE WOULD SEND BACK AND FORTH, LET'S SEE IF IT ISN'T TRUE AND YOU TOLD THAT IT WAS, WOULD THAT DISCREDIT YOUR HONESTY? ASK YOURSELF WHEN YOU PRESENT YOURSELF WITH YOUR CLOTHES HANGING OFF YOUR SHOUDLER, WHY DO MEN TALK TO ME? DUH, BECAUSE YOU APPEAR CHEAP. AND YOU NEED TO OPEN GOD'S BOOK AND READ WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT COMMANDMENTS, AMONG OTHER THINGS AND HOW TO RESPOND TO 'CHRISTIANS' WHO MOCK HIM, AND HIS WORD. THINK VIVIAN REALLY HARD.

2/15/2009 2:51:59 PM - Subject: Re: Reminder: You have an ecard waiting for you at AOL Greetings Date: 10/1/2007 10:43:48 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time From: mysticwarrior113@yahoo.com Reply To: To: gr8estgyrlfriend@aol.com As for your man ? and me being lucky not to see him face to face? I won''''t even respond to your words. All you ever wanted was to get naked and have sex on cam. And every e mail, off line you ever wrote describes this in full, as for my life? SO RANDY LIES?

2/15/2009 2:53:24 PM - YOU MADE THE GREAT MYSTICSKYDARKRAVENWARRIOR113 OUT TO ACTUALLY BE TELLING A LIE? OH DEAR, I THOUGHT YOU BELIEVED HIM!

2/15/2009 5:50:51 PM - You don't want to know our business? Since when? You are so nosey if you look up nosey in the dictionary your pic is there, and I am sure you friends IF you have any that have looked at Randy's women, which don't count me in that group... have rolled their eyes, when my friends looks at pics of you they tell me in one or two words, CHEAP and DESPERATE. So that being said, we are even. Why Randy does what he does is beyond my understanding. Until he stops the chatter will continue, just keep in mind you are adding to the drama yourself, don't come call names if you don't want it fed back to you. Your word is useless you've shown that over and over and anyone reading this will agree that you lie. So what good are you? God knows each of our hearts, and you are judging us why? Because you think you are better? Wrong, I don't judge YOU, not do I call you names, I won't stoop to childhood games. But rest assured I will stand up for myself. God knows what is in our hearts, you do not. I just suggested you READ God's book never Judged! Got that? Hey, stop coming here if you don't want to read what is written, simple isn't it? Don't read, don't know, don't worry, don't gossip, don't get those queen size panties in a wad!

2/16/2009 9:45:16 PM - Thank you for removing all your rude and crude remarks Vivian, I''ll take it that you had a change of heart.

2/17/2009 7:30:50 PM - Darling let me count the ways you lie to me... he lies, he lies he lies! He's scare too!

2/17/2009 9:25:19 PM - he should be scared, he''s the one who got himself and his wife, yes she will be charged also, into this mess, both of them are greedy, Randy wouldn''t it been easier just to get off your ass and actually work at a job

2/18/2009 9:38:57 AM -

2/18/2009 9:46:06 AM - what''s the matter Randy, to scared to call me, your wondering what is all on you, think back in all you and your wife did, i know for a fact i saved all from you, evrything you said to me, everything you wanted me to do, all my receipts....gee this is not a my word against you, i have the proof of your con...and the little videos it goes both ways....this one lady who won''t back down for sure...you have my word you and your wife will go to jail for this, this a not a thing you get a slap on the wrist for....you did a federal crime, all because your to lazy to work an honest living

2/18/2009 12:55:01 PM - Help yourself by educating yourself... '''''Huffer identifies eight steps to recovery: 1. Debriefing. That means telling someone what happened, and that person listening without judgment. 2. Grieving. It is legitimate to grieve the loss of possessions, or our lifestyle, or our place in the community.We didn’t just lose things. We lost part of ourselves. 3. Obsession. Huffer suggests coping with obsession by compartmentalizing it—only allowing yourself to dwell in it for specific periods of time. 4. Blaming. This means putting blame where it belongs: on the perpetrator. The guilt, anger and rage needs to directed towards the person who deceived us. 5. Deshaming. The dreadful experience has taught us that some of our prior beliefs are false and need to be changed. When we do this, we change our attitude from “I was a fool” to “I’ve been wronged.” 6. Reframing. At this stage, you can look at your experience, define it differently, and then articulate the wisdom you’ve gained. 7. Empowerment. You take ownership of your problems, determine how you are going to cope with them, and go into action. 8. Recovery. With recovery, you are able to move forward in your life.'''''

2/18/2009 12:59:10 PM - Read more at love fraud, intersting blogs about men and women who struggle with the truth.

2/18/2009 2:09:41 PM - After the sociopath: How do we heal? Part 4Bargaining Sunday, 15 February 2009 @ 9:41pm • My Weblog If there is a single category of memories that still can make me squirm, it is the remembrance of what I did to make my sociopath love me. And what I did simply to keep him from hurting me. And what I did to try to understand the things I must have done wrong, because he didn’t love me. And all the ways I pretzeltwisted my brain to excuse him for his lies, deception, disrespect and greed. The topic of this article is the next phase of healing from a sociopathic relationship: bargaining. We are in the process of healing from the moment we sustain any emotional trauma. Relationships with sociopaths typically involve many traumatic events, both large and small. Some of these events are the “blows” of insults, coldness and various types of violence or violation of our trust. But these blows, however painful they may be, are less damaging than the events that threaten our identities by making us question our own values and ability to trust ourselves Bargaining is one of the two ways we negotiate with pain. The first is denial, which was discussed in the last article, Part 3. Denial enables us to postpone facing trauma, until we’re ready, or until we’ve found support that can help us think it through. In denial, we make a temporary deal with ourselves not to think about it and to block our normal feelings. It’s an interior mechanism, a way to control our own reactions.

2/18/2009 2:10:28 PM - Shifting Denial to the Outside World Bargaining is an advance on denial because, at least, we are beginning to negotiate with the outside world, rather than our own psyches. But like denial, bargaining is magical thinking. We’re still not dealing directly with the facts as though they were real. We are finding reasons to make them unreal, and looking for ways that we can influence the situation so that it becomes we want it to be. “She’s just acting cold, because she’s had a bad time and needs to get over it. If I am more loving, she will warm up.” “He is being so rude to the waitress, because he came from a background of uncaring people. If I show him how much better service he’ll get if he’s courteous, he’ll see that it’s true and become the gentle, caring person I know he really is inside.” “She’s sleeping around because she’s insecure about her looks or afraid that I don’t really love her. If I try to be more supportive and more complementary, she’ll come to recognize that no one has ever loved her more.” “He’s telling me that I don’t deserve to be loved, because he secretly feels he doesn’t deserve to be loved. If I convince him that he’s lovable, it will open his heart.” “He never shows up when I need him, runs profiles on dating sites, and disappears for days or weeks. He says everything would be better if I trusted him, so I’ll try to trust him more.” In each of these examples, we are faced with evidence that the person is, at minimum, behaving in ways that we don’t like. If we want to analyze it further, we could say that this person is behaving as though they don’t care how we feel. Or if we wanted to characterize the person by his or her behavior, we could say that he or she is acting like a selfish, outofcontrol sleezeball. But we don’t have to do any analysis at all to simply check our own feelings and determine that we are not happy about it. Or that it causes us pain. In the bargaining phase, we are ready to acknowledge our own pain and the material fact that is causing us pain. However, we are not yet ready to connect all the dots in the sense of recognizing that we have a serious and unmanageable problem on our hands.

2/18/2009 2:11:30 PM - The Three Elements of Bargaining The components of traumatic bargaining are three very different things. One is acknowledgement of the trauma. This is an important new stage in our healing process. It’s the first time since the trauma occurred that we consciously accept that something happened to us. That “something” came from outside of us. It was not something we did to ourselves. The second component is our vision of how things ought to be. This could be how things used to be – like when we had our perfect lover. But it might be a vision of how we want things to be in the future – like when we and our perfect lover settle down in a “happily ever after” relationship. There are all kinds of possible visions of reality that we are trying to get to, or get back to. Particularly in relationships with sociopaths, where there are so many different types of trauma – identity, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, etc.— we may be holding tight to any one of a variety of visions. The final component is the bargaining itself, which is a kind of bridge between the unwanted reality and the desired vision. That bridge is made up of all the things we are willing to do to earn that reality. Bargaining is a basic skill of life, an everyday event in which we negotiate with family, friends, employers, customers to find satisfactory shared outcomes. We even negotiate with inanimate objects, like regularly changing the oil to get longer service from our cars. These little trades in life are so common we hardly notice them. We make little deals all day long, as we pragmatically navigate around and through all the things we have to accommodate in our lives. However, posttraumatic bargaining has a different flavor that puts it squarely in the realm of magical thinking. Instead of negotiating for some future outcome, we are trying to change a hereandnow fact. The fact is not what our sociopaths did, but what their actions say about them. We don’t want them to be what they appear to be. In this bargaining, we are appealing to someone or something that we imagine has the power to change that fact. In attempting to solicit its cooperation, we are hoping or believing that we can convince that power source to care about us.

2/18/2009 2:12:16 PM - Please, God, if you’ll only… That beginning of a supplicant prayer ends with “and I promise I’ll…” Please, God, if you’ll only help me pass this test, I promise I’ll do my geography homework forever. Or we may not bring God into it. We may wear our lucky underwear to the game, so we’ll sink more basketballs. Or if I sign over my paycheck or dress like a floozy or rush to get you another beer when you toss the empty over your shoulder, maybe you’ll love me. Doing a rain dance may not appear to equate with trying to have a happy relationship with a sociopath, but it has similarities. One of those similarities is that we are depending on formal rules that we imagine are something like infallible. So, if we are very, very, very good, and follow the rules punctiliously, then the result will be that the sociopath loves us or that the sociopath will be zapped with some cosmic healing ray that makes it possible for him to love at all. While bargaining is a developmental advance over denial, it has one big similarity with denial. That is, we still feel like we have some power, even if we now recognize that most of the power resides elsewhere. In terms of our volunteering or collaboration, we’ve stepped up to the “cando” plate, and we’re trying to fix the situation. Maybe this will work. Maybe that will. We’re operating on hope or faith in our own magic. Our approach to this is childlike, in the sense that we are defining that outside power as something there to fulfill our desires. As all of us have learned one way or another, trying to elicit “love” from a sociopath is like trying to get attention from the devil. We may get the attention, but it is very, very expensive. In fact, our very belief in these rules – whether they are the rules of courtesy or Christian behavior or how we imagine lovers are supposed to act – is something that sociopaths use against us. They make us feel guilty for not trusting them. Or concerned about how pitiful they are. Or crushed because we are doing all the right things, and still not succeeding in being loved.

2/18/2009 2:12:53 PM - The Craziest Phase The bargaining phase is characterized by hope and frustration. It is also the first real learning phase of recovery. We have acknowledged that there is something wrong, and we are experimenting with solutions to fix it. Until we’ve learned enough to realize that we can’t avoid the unpleasant facts, we are in what might be characterized as the “craziest” part of our recovery. We’re throwing good energy after bad. We’re doing the same things that worked for us in other relationships, over and over, without getting results. We don’t understand the rules of the game. We don’t know what else to do except be better and nicer and more giving, and our judgment about what we can afford to lose goes haywire. Our pain and disbelief about the nature of this relationship are only one kind of bargaining trigger. We are probably in the bargaining stage with other traumas, like the loss of our money or possessions or jobs or professional credibility or our children’s safety or our privacy or our hope of simple breakup. We can become absolutely frantic with bargaining. We may feel like we’ve got so many plates in the air we can’t even remember our names. This can be particularly true in aftereffects of a sociopathic relationship, which can seem more traumatic than the relationship itself. As we detox from the hypnotic effect of the sociopath’s influence, we may finally emerge from denial about our losses. We may attempt to negotiate recovery of things we lost. We may appeal to other sources of power, like the police or the legal system, only to discover that no one believes us because the sociopath has done such a good job of characterizing us as unstable or untrustworthy. Or because no one knows anything about sociopaths, and assumes that we’re exaggerating. In dealing with sociopaths, one of the most difficult things is to determine which situations we can control and what is out of our control. Our own histories as competent and effective people make it hard for us to give up trying to find a solution. Before we give up, we are likely to lower our expectations of fairness, understanding and support, not only from the sociopath, but from the legal system as well as our previous social support systems, like friends and family. As sad as this may seem, it is all part of the great informationgathering exercise that bargaining is.

2/18/2009 2:14:03 PM - The First Clarity Just as denial gave us the gift of time, bargaining has its own gifts. One is a great deal of new factual knowledge about the world we live in. Many of us say that we wished we never learned what we learned in these experiences. But like them or not, these are realities about the people and circumstances we may face in our lives. Knowing them will eventually make us smarter, stronger and more confident in taking care of ourselves. We also learn the lengths to which we’ll go, if there is something we want badly enough. Some of that is good news and other parts make us uncomfortable. But like the facts about the world, this will be useful information when we are farther in our recovery process. The most important gift of knowledge comes from our successes and failures in bargaining with the sociopath. We learn that we “succeed” when we’re willing to give up anything we have and everything we are. We learn that we “lose” when we attempt to hold onto our own identities and independent resources. Eventually, those of us who are going to be survivors come to recognize a very important fact. It’s a fact that was in front of us from the minute we realized that we were not happy with what was going on or that we were in pain. That fact is that the sociopath causing our pain. There are a few additional facts that we may figure out at this point depending on which trauma we are working on. One is that the sociopath doesn’t want to be fixed. Another is that the sociopath doesn’t care about our pain. In this knowledge, we face the reality that nothing we can do will make the sociopath behave like a feeling human being. No matter how many opportunities we have to please the sociopath, or earn love, or prove our worth, or gain trust, we cannot change the wiring of the sociopathic emotional system. And worse, our attempts to “bargain” for love or any form of caring tend to cause us more losses. Whatever we give, whatever we do, whatever pleas we make for compassion or understanding, it is like throwing ourselves against a Teflon wall.

2/18/2009 2:14:41 PM - Helping Ourselves These insights open the doorway into the next big phase, anger, which will be the topic of the next article. In the meantime, it’s a good thing to remember that we may be experiencing various phases at the same time, especially since we are likely to be processing many different types of events. All of the phases have their reason and their importance in healing. As the “craziest” of the phases, our bargaining phase is the time that we are most likely to be making other people crazy too — whether we’re still inside the relationship or we’ve stopped it but are still trying to fix it some part of it. Our family, our friends, anyone who cares about us may become frustrated with us or even cut us off. When everyone outside this relationship can clearly see that something is wrong – either with us or with our lovers – they become understandably impatient with us, if we are acting like we in the middle of a great work in progress, rather than in the middle of a train wreck. If the bargaining phase can be characterized as addictive behavior on our side, because we’re totally focused on getting love or validation to “fix” our pain, it’s unlikely that we’re going to be open to intervention. Likewise, finding the power in ourselves to intervene is not likely. But if we could, or if there is a part of us that is watching aghast at what’s going on, it would be a good time to start keeping a ledger of losses. Even if it’s only a mental record, but writing it down would be better. Start keeping a list of the betrayals, the financial losses, the insults, the lies, the sabotage, the demands to compromise our values, all the things that make us less than we formerly were. Keeping this list may be the hardest thing we ever do when we’re inside the relationship, because it is exactly the kind of thing a sociopath would view as disloyalty or distrust. To the extent that our feelings are coopted, we may feel guilty about doing it. But if we can do it – and it’s equally valuable to do after the relationship is over – we reestablish connection with our own identities and feelings, instead of seeing the world though the lens of the sociopath’s intentions. Keeping the “black list” or the “sad list” or the “list of disappointments” will help us move through the bargaining stage faster. It will help us find our anger, which is where we start to regain our power over our lives and our hearts. Namaste. The courageous healing spirit in me salutes the courageous healing spirit in you. Kathy

2/18/2009 2:16:46 PM - Helps me understand why no matter how much I tried to make this man happy, he woudl always ask for more. Used to say he gave what he got. If that were the case, I am sure we''''d all been wrapped in love, money and trust! That what he wanted from us, but what did HE give us? Heartache, debt and mistrust of everyone!

2/18/2009 2:23:39 PM - Why I say “Bad Man” Sunday, 15 February 2009 @ 12:17pm • My Weblog By AlohaTraveler It took me a long time to clearly define that what the Bad Man was doing to me was… bad. Plain and simple, it was bad for me. Never mind if he was working through pain, never mind if he had suffered many losses or had an unfortunate childhood. Never mind. He’s a grown man. He was treating me in a way that I can only define as very bad for me no matter what his issues were. Really, it was unacceptable but at the time, I did not have clear boundaries as to what kind of treatment I would accept for myself before I would draw a line in the sand and say, “No more!” There were lots of excuses he made up and to be honest, there were lots of excuses I made up to try to explain his erratic behavior and his consistent emotional battering of me. Early on, I told myself, “He lost his ministry. He lost his marriage and his five children. He lost his boat. Who am I to judge him? I don’t know what that would be like.” I thought he was a person in a lot of pain. I had a lot of pain too and so I thought that our meeting was designed by God. I am embarrassed to admit that but I really did think this was some kind of divine meeting. We were the same astrological sign yes, another excuse! and we had had our hearts broken and had many losses in the years leading up to our divine meeting. So, I was very gentle with him while he emotionally battered and tortured me. I tried to understand where he was coming from. I looked for the “1 percent truth” in the terrible things he was saying about me because I was so open and willing to work on myself. I accepted that maybe I didn’t really see myself as I was, and so his “coaching,” no matter how cruelly it was administered, I took in. But this is all beside the point. I wanted to explain why I say “Bad Man.” I am not trying to be cutesy here. I started saying “The Bad Man” before I found LoveFraud. I didn’t know exactly what was wrong with him but more than that, I didn’t want to hear his name pass through my lips ever again. His name was once something that stirred me and I said it lovingly, but I didn’t want to hear it anymore. One of my friends started calling him “Captain Whackadoo” and “Emotional Black Hole. ” “Captain” won’t fit for most of you but feel free to use the EBH if you like. Hehe.

2/18/2009 2:24:59 PM - Bad Man sticks for me because I don’t know for sure what he is. But I do know for sure that he was so bad to me and bad for me. I like this term now because so many of us want to solve the mystery. We want to know the exact diagnosis, but why? What difference will it make? If your Bad Man was like mine, you were being abused. Who wants to be abused for any reason? Not me. I don’t know for sure if Bad Man qualifies as a sociopath but I know for sure he is pathologically disordered and that’s enough for me. I understand this fully now. Many LoveFraud readers have struggled with this question. There are also the readers who look for loop holes. What I would encourage you all to do is ask yourself this question, “Is this man/woman good for me?” I think we know the answer to that. Over the years, I have dated men that were not a good match for me. I have dated men that were not that good to me because, well, they just weren’t that into me! Get the book by the way, it’s a great one. But only the Bad Man was truly bad for my spirit and my emotional well being. Whatever his problem is, he clearly was not good for me. When I was with him, I was hurting all the time. Or I was stressing, anxious, angry, emotionally battered, sleepless, etc. I argued with him in my head all the time, because I never won any arguments in person. I was exhausted from constantly defending my choice of words, my past, my present, my future, myself. ALL THE TIME! I was just so tired. That doesn’t sound very good, does it? If you are struggling to find the right answer, I understand how powerful that drive is but what if you let it go by simply admitting this person was not good for me. I am pretty satisfied with my diagnosis. The Bad Man was bad for me. I am not a psychiatrist. I will never get to administer the PCLR though I would love to hear the results. Even if I don’t know the final answer, I do know that he was not good for me and my life is so much better having let him go and moved on. It can be such a long climb out of that emotional black hole. I learned a lot from hitting that bottom but I never want to go there again. It’s been over three and half years since I left the Bad Man. I feel peaceful knowing that nothing like that will ever happen to me again. Now, I can spot a disaster like him from a mile away. If I see one coming, I could fight him off with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back. Better yet, I would just turn my back and let him walk on by.

2/18/2009 2:27:26 PM - He definately wasn''t good for me, financially or emotionally. His lies will haunt me and all the I love you, all of the we''ll be together forever, and all the you''ve helped me so much, I''ll repay every dime, because I am a man of my word. Yeah, I just betcha you are.

2/18/2009 2:29:28 PM - The “feel” of a sociopath Thursday, 12 February 2009 @ 7:00am • My Weblog I recently had clinical contact with a client who left me with the unusually strong, immediate impression of “schemer,” “slick,” “full of crap.” He was instantly, aggressively ingratiating—less, I felt, from insecurity, as from ulterior motives, as if he were angling, at the outset, for an edge. I had the uncomfortable feeling I get around intrusive salesmen who leave you feeling like an “object” from whom to extract a sale and commission. I should mention that he was glib. Glibness is a trait often associated with certain sociopaths. My client was so glib, as a matter of fact, that for the first time in a long while the word “glib” actually popped into my head. When I say “glib,” I don’t mean just fasttalking, which he was. He was shallow, too. And for me, the combination of smooth, fast talking, underlain by shallowness, really captures “glib.” He was something of a schemer, and it was fascinating to observe him deny or dismiss rife evidence of his historical deceptiveness, abusiveness and doublestandards. And he did so with a striking lack of shame, and with much audacity, along with irritation arrogantly conveyed to have to even deign to respond to the history. Now I’d like to shift gears abruptly, and say something about the psychopath’s or sociopath’s alleged “look,” or “stare,” which has been described anecdotally in the literature. Its most obvious form is characterized by a certain crazed intensity note some of the existing photos of Ted Bundy, and other serial killers. There are also, I suggest, other, subtler forms of this look. In any case what this “look” transmits in any of its forms is something elementally predatory. It has an evaluatively predatory quality. I suspect that many of you have had the experience of being watched in this way? It’s more than a feeling of being scrutinized, because all of us scrutinize each other, and clients should be scrutinizing their therapists. It is more, I think, the quality, or motive, of the scrutiny—again, a predatory aspect that engenders the experience of feeling invaded, and “sized up,” “measured” for ulterior purposes. At bottom, this is a type of “look” that leaves one feeling watched, studied as an “object.” One experiences the “watcher” as if he or she is calculating, “How much can I have my way with this person? How susceptible is this person to my present interests in him or her?”

2/18/2009 2:30:32 PM - My client had this “look.” He was a “watcher,” and as he watched me, I often had the disconcerting sense that he was less interested in what I had to say, or what I was saying, than in using the time I was speaking to further his evaluation of my vulnerability. This feeling with, experience of someone, can be a signal. It can signal that something predatory is brewing, or occurring. I’ve called this the “feel” of a sociopath, because sociopaths sometimes not always can stirup this sensation in those whose paths they’ve crossed, or lives they’ve entered. To be sure, not all sociopaths evoke this experience but some do, and it can be an uncomfortable, and not easily articulated experience. Depending on the circumstances, it can even feel flatteringly seductive if still uncomfortable. Take, for instance, a blind/firstdate scenario, in which the exploitativeminded individual approvingly, hungrily, invasively and audaciously sizesup his date, leaving her feeling flattered hungrily desired while at the same time uneasy? This “sizing up,” “measuring” process too often belies not a hunger for love, and connection, but of acquisition, possession and/or conquest.

2/18/2009 2:31:20 PM - I read this and had cold chills as once one of the screen names he was supposed to have used was WATCHER13A

2/18/2009 2:34:56 PM - Ladies above all hold on to faith that a power greater than any of us will deal with Randy. He needs help, his world is totally about Him, what he wants and what he feels he deserves to have. He appears to believe because we believed his lies about loving each of us, we were the foolish ones and deserved to have been hurt and stolen from. I think not. His day will come when he answers for his games.

2/19/2009 11:34:30 AM - Getting a new look by cutting and dying the hair and mustashe won''t change the man you are on the inside. Maybe that is where you really need to start.

2/19/2009 2:18:58 PM - him change that''s a laugh, HE WILL ALWAYS BE SCUM, AND THAT DARK SIDE I''M STILL WAITING TO SEE IT, COME ON RANDY WHERE IS IT

2/20/2009 9:47:03 AM - Imagine living a life where your neck hurts from always having to look behind you to see if you are being followed? Kind of gives you a pain in the neck over time I'd think.

2/20/2009 9:51:08 AM - A MAN OF HIS WORD, WHO QUOTES FROM THE BIBLE, YET LIES TO ALL ABOUT HIS SITUATION AND BELIEVES HE IS SO LOVED THAT WOMEN GIFT HIM MONEY AND SUCH TO KEEP HIM. NOT QUIET, BUT IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WISH TO THINK, THEN BY ALL MEANS BELIEVE IT THE ONLY ONE TRULY BEING FOOLED IS YOU RANDY HOPPER.

2/20/2009 9:53:03 AM - Maybe the dark side is when he pulls the covers over his head and hopes the whole situation will go away?

2/20/2009 9:55:16 AM - LOL, no I got it, it''s that box of hair dye! He''s gone to the dark side! And when he would growl to us that we should be careful to not push him to his dark side, he wanted to scare us. LOL what a joke!

2/20/2009 9:56:54 AM - Oh and another thing, with hair so dark, when the gray roots come in, you will have SKUNK HEAD! HOW cute is that? A Skunk head for a total stinker!

2/20/2009 10:01:54 AM - Randy quoting from the bible, is this your next con in the making, yea like who will believe it, i was taken once by you, and no one will ever do this again to me...........you broke every commandment there is and then some. oh my lady have faith and trust in me, everything is fine with us, i want so much to be with you in our bed, love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you, just you wait i''ll be with you soon....feed me i want to look at you....oh such beauty....tell me randy do you know all the names of the women you conned, or do just forget about them and move on.....soon you''ll have to face some of us...

2/20/2009 12:47:53 PM - i''ll pay you back in 3 months, it''s way past the 3 months where''s the money you owe me..........come on tell me, oh your back must be out again, you have kidney stones again, lumber fell on me, i have the flu, i''m running a fever, my dog is sick, i can''t work, yea right.....gee you use to tell me i work i work i work, yea you work at conning women.....or you just sit on your fat ass playing video games and such, have you ever worked an honest job i doubt it

2/20/2009 12:50:39 PM - he has no dark side, only a yellow streak of being a coward

2/20/2009 6:05:13 PM - if he is such a wonderful man why did he need our money, why did he lie and make promises he couldn''t keep, he is pending federal charges of fraud, and he will be going to jail he and his wife, that is where they belong, i told him this would be happening to him soon he laughed it off, he''s not laughing now he knows it going to happen, and i know he''s scared

2/20/2009 6:10:13 PM - tell me did he fulfill all his promises to you???????? i doubt it, and he did take from you of course, did you receive it back, if you did your one of the lucky one, i doubt if you saw a dime, as him being wonderful, read between the lines he''s keeping you around because he wants or needs something from you, or are you hounding him to talk to him, oh and by the way use to think the world of him for 3 yrs till i told him i wasn''t a bank any more

2/20/2009 6:27:39 PM - look when i asked him to please start paying me back i go all the excuses in the world, i didn''t ask for the full amount all at once just to make payments back to me, i was called all the names in the book......so you want me to find the good in him, gee is there any i doubt it......he has to prove that to me himself

2/20/2009 6:41:57 PM - you see don''t comment if you don''t know fully what is going on or are fishing to find tidbits to tell him, if he wants to know something he can ask me himself, seems to me has been given ample opportunity to do so, and he hasn''t

2/20/2009 6:44:48 PM - he put himself in this situation and now he knows he has to pay the price what he did was a federal crime

2/21/2009 5:58:45 AM - I don't believe there is a woman or man alive who has not needed to borrow money from time to time.

2/21/2009 6:00:29 AM - WHAT is evident here is Randy asks, and asks and asks, and has NO intentions or repaying. WHY? Because it''s too easy for him to make women believe he loves them and will repay them.

2/21/2009 6:01:30 AM - This site was set up to warn those who just may google George Randolph Hopper before they get in over their head with him.

2/21/2009 6:02:17 AM - He''s not to be trusted, if he was the man of his word that he promised that he was, IF he were the man that believed in God''s Word he was so fond in quoting to me, he would be trying to repay.

2/21/2009 6:02:56 AM - He would be making payments, he''d be working and showing that he was trying to change.

2/21/2009 6:03:34 AM - When you have no more to give him or you learn what he is doing, or you DARE ask him to repay what he owes you because you''ve given him ample time, you are called names, told you are a whore, slandered totally because you aren''t giving him more?

2/21/2009 6:04:25 AM - Then are told after what you have done to me! I''ve yet to understand what I have done to HIM! Other than trust in him do repay when the loans were made.

2/21/2009 6:05:07 AM - But what I see is a man who''d rather deny that he borrowed with the intention of repaying and making up more lies to cover the ones he''s already told.

2/21/2009 6:05:44 AM - SOCIOPATHS do not see the error or their ways, could it be he needs medical or mental help? Possibly but why should he continue to make a living off unsuspecting women? YOU included?

2/21/2009 6:06:33 AM - So think about this, if the man was so down on his luck, how was he able to afford to ride around on a new Harley? How did he have money to buy the leathers he needed?

2/21/2009 6:07:28 AM - How? Because he borrowed from someone for food, gas, heat, whatever excuse he could tell to get her to believe and he laughed as soon as he drove away to spend her hard earned money on his selfish self.

2/21/2009 6:08:46 AM - Logic tells me IF he''s struggling to find food, to pay his utilities so the power won''t be turned off, if he needs gas to work or stay warm, HOW PRAY TELL, does he manage to make the payments, pay the insurance, stay on dating sites, keep a cell phone?

2/21/2009 6:09:32 AM - How many times has he said he was sleeping in unheated homes he was remodeling, with roaches crawling over him at night, and it was another woman''s bed? His wife said they never hurt for food, they had heat, and were not hurting. SO where did HE get his money?

2/21/2009 6:10:26 AM - I know he got quiet a bit from some of the women who have posted here.

2/21/2009 6:11:14 AM - Tell me where the GOOD is in that man, unless it is he has a GOOD CON going. He wouldn''t have gotten anything from any of us had he not been so GOOD at telling us all the lies he thought we wanted to hear.

2/21/2009 6:12:15 AM - And yeah, we bought it, hook line and sinker, believed in him to be the man of his word he said he was and repay us every dime.

2/21/2009 6:15:15 AM - SO ONCE AGAIN REALISE THIS IS TO WARN WOMEN ABOUT THE LIES HE HAS TOLD US TO GAIN MONEY FROM US. TO WARN OTHERS SO THAT HOPEFULLY THEY WON''T BE OUT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS...IF YOU DON''T LIKE HEARING THE TRUTH ABOUT RANDY DO NOT COME BACK AND READ.

2/21/2009 6:17:11 AM - Wouldn''t it be nice to make money without taxes? Gifts as he so would like to call all of the money he was LOANED, and whatever else he gotten he that he''d like to call GIFTS, he is responsible for taxes... IRS.. come get his sorry ass.

2/21/2009 6:19:42 AM - yes he took money from women and he will continue to do so if he is not stopped and the only way is to press charges on him and so i reported him to the fraud unit of the fbi........what he is doing is illegal, and about trying to find the good in him, i once felt some good in him when we first met in 2004, and i when asked for repayment you know the rest, so where is the good in him nowhere, it''s all a facade to him....and where did you he get his money, from her and her and her and her the list could go on

2/21/2009 6:21:43 AM - From what I have heard, his pay checks come through Western Union and most all from a different women. Oh IF the IRS had those! Squirming, lying, forgetting... what tactic would work there, OH I GOT IT, get a female agent, and Randy would be sooooo HOT and so tempting she''d not be able to resist him either! He LOVES himself, no one else.

2/21/2009 6:25:10 AM - You Tell me where the good is? All the good that I once saw in him left the second I asked for him to help me out be paying back what he''d borrowed. I suppose he felt he worked to get it? Worked his lies, so no sympathies here. He deserves whatever the law sees fit to do with him.

2/21/2009 6:53:50 AM - the good in him is nowhere to be found, we were banks to him to withdrawal money, when we closed the accounts on him, he showed his true side the person he really is and that ladies is fraud and abuse....no woman ahould have to go through that and if i''m the only one not afraid to go after him and have him prosecuted then so be it, i''m not afraid to face him.....sure we all did things for him we are ashamed of, it was his his way of keeping us in line, blackmail is illegal also.....so the ones who still think he''s so wonderful and good, yea just a thought for you to remember he someday he''ll drop you at a blink of an eye....you will be no use to him

2/21/2009 7:24:55 AM -

2/21/2009 7:26:33 AM - You aren't alone in your pursuit of justice. There are others. The process just takes a while as I am sure you well know. He's scared, he'll be looking over his shoulder, proven by him lying about where he is ... HE HAS TO ASK, WHOM CAN I REALLY TRUST!

2/21/2009 7:29:32 AM - I am here for you Babe, I love you, I trust you, I''ll always have your back....BUT DOES SHE? Or has she mastered the Great Randy''S methods?

2/21/2009 7:39:14 AM - OH and let us NOT forget he and his wife are living together to, have never separated, and never will. He has plenty of sites that he has listed himself as single, divorced or separated. Separated does NOT count when she goes to work, or is not in your line of vision. YOU LIED RANDY... TOTALLY LIED

2/21/2009 10:36:33 AM - oh they will be separated soon when they both go to prison,gee allison all that free money will be gone what will you do then, do you think Randy will testify for you saying you were not involved he''s going to try and save his own skin to hell with you......you should of stopped it in the very beginning your greed was as great as his

2/21/2009 2:44:40 PM - No what I am doing here is putting HIS name out there so maybe NO ONE else will have to suffer through the mess he's made for himself, by claiming to need to borrow for necessities and never trying to repay. HOW many women can one borrow from before the bulb goes off in your head and you realize it is all a game for him? How many women will he profess to love with all his heart, how many more hearts will he break? How many more women will doubt the ability to TRUST again? What you refuse to see it is not just ONE he's done this to, everyone that You've so kindly introduced me to has been conned by him. Just because you want to pride yourself at being a BIGGER woman and walking away doesn't make you a saint, it only says okay Randy come steal, lie, and cheat some more. Stand up for ONCE for what is right and stop your belly aching when he won't talk to you, you've shown us the way you are. No one believes you either due to your constant lying. But be aware as YOU know IF you ever do find the WOMAN in you to stand up against his wrongs, he'll try to intimidate you with his dark side, he'll call you names, he'll threaten to blackmail you...he'll make up more lies. Vengeance is the Lord's and the Lord will have his. But he also tells us to bring into the light all that we need help with. Lord knows this man needs help.

2/21/2009 4:25:04 PM - What Randy and Allison has done is criminal

2/21/2009 5:53:32 PM - Oh so it's okay for him to lie and for him to take from women, but when we tell the truth, we are found fault with? Has he ever tried to make it right? NO he's not... so you are saying it is wrong to tell the truth? What I see is a situation that can't be righted because no one will stand strong against him. They fall once again for his lies that he's changed. Be on my end and tell me that I am wrong. I think you may see it differently IF you'd bother to take off the rose colored glasses you are looking through. Sounds to me you enjoy passing judgement? I have not told one lie on here, can you say the same?

3/5/2009 1:39:02 PM - Randy still looking over your shoulder, Smile i''m watching you, every step you make. you see me in you your dreams, every waking moment, i''m your worse nightmare. Me scared of you never, why should i be

3/7/2009 3:05:49 AM - Randy does the same thing, doesn''t he? Babe, I''ll always be there for you, I''ll repay you every dime, if you''ll help me out just this one time, I am a man of my word.

3/7/2009 3:06:33 AM - Man of my word''s ass! He is a CON who preys off of women.

3/7/2009 3:07:07 AM - Accept what he is. He laughs because he can pull it off. He needs to face reality that it is WRONG.

3/7/2009 3:07:50 AM - But then when he has his bottled redhead cheering him on, makes you wonder if she doesn''t try the same things he does. Certainly been evident that they neither one know how to tell the truth. Amazingly can catch them BOTH in lies and they deny it. Maybe Webster needs to spell out what a lie is?

3/7/2009 3:08:30 AM - Randy needs to be LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDERS, both sides all the time. It is just a matter of time before he is caught.

3/7/2009 3:09:48 AM - What is it he''s cried? You are putting me in jail? Nope Randy YOU did this, you are putting yourself in jail.

3/7/2009 3:11:48 AM - IF he wants this to disappear, maybe HE needs to be the ONE who steps up and takes responsibilities for what he''s done.

3/7/2009 3:12:06 AM - Eating CROW isn''t nearly as tastey as the bull**** he prefers.

3/10/2009 10:12:26 AM - Would be so nice IF he were the man that he wanted us all to believe that he was, sad but true, if he''s breathing, he''s more than likely lying! such a waste.

3/12/2009 7:50:07 AM - What is not right and moral in God''s eyes? Telling the truth about someone who lies to women about himself?

3/12/2009 7:51:17 AM - Are you saying we shouldn''t tell the truth about how he managed to get US to believe in him and the money he borrowed?

3/12/2009 7:52:11 AM - Are you saying we shouldn''t bring to light that he was living with his wife the whole time he was telling us he was DIVORCED? or was that separated?

3/12/2009 7:55:08 AM - Or are you saying it''s okay for a man to be a player, seeing as many women as he can, from wherever he can get them, to quote God''s word so that he sounds like a good man, telling all of us how much he loves us, and how we''ll be together forever as he helps himself to money he promises to repay?

3/12/2009 7:56:58 AM - No matter if you dip **** in chocolate, it''s still ****. This man doesn''t change what he is, if he''s quoting the Bible to con woman, he''s still a con.

3/16/2009 11:27:13 AM - Good to SEE that the PICTURES are back up. Soooo missed seeing you! Rolling eyes.... How about it man of your word, ready to make good on that money you borrowed?

3/16/2009 3:39:35 PM - Maybe we should get a judge from Australia.... check out this link. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090316/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_nigeria_australia_scam

3/16/2009 3:40:17 PM - Sounds like the same crap you have been pulling? Is it worth it?

3/18/2009 7:19:16 AM - come on randy, where is all our money you promised to pay back, we must of paid for you new fence, double wide house, really it''s just a trailerhome, so i assume you are still trailer trash, come one have you made good on all you other payments, i doubt it, gee you and your wife will soon be losing everything, all with your name on it, gee who paid for the land it sits on, i doubt you did, must be mommy helping you out again, she the one who so much abused you

3/19/2009 4:21:50 PM - Darn Cops in Winston Salem, just love pulling over speeders! Shall I give them your address?

3/19/2009 4:22:39 PM - No fear I didn''t open the 4 letters that came to my address for you, but it''s amazing what can be read through the envelop!

3/19/2009 4:23:13 PM - Darn, I am a safe driver, I never get a ticket, guess you must have been going faster than you thought? It happens to the best of us.

3/19/2009 4:24:03 PM - Hmmmmm..... that''s an automatic increase in insurance.... NOW do you see WHY I took you off of mine? tsk tsk tsk.... thank God I did.

3/19/2009 4:25:49 PM - I can''t be blamed for this screw up... oh wait, I am sorry, I am sure You or V will find a way to make this my fault too!

3/19/2009 4:27:33 PM - And could you please make sure the Iredell County Officials have YOUR address listed for the truck, so that I won''t be getting mail for YOU.

3/20/2009 10:57:18 AM -

3/20/2009 10:58:44 AM - uh oh my bad, Oh you didn''t want anyone to know you were still in NC, sorry Babe, it slipped....do you put all the states in a hat and pull one depending upon the woman you are talking with?

3/20/2009 11:00:10 AM - I personally wish you would head to Pittsburgh, I think you could do the rest of us a great service if you''d meet your Puppet! Then she''d be able to have her 30 seconds and life would be grand for her.

3/22/2009 4:13:55 PM - IF Randy is breathing, he''s lying. He can say he''s sorry, but does he really mean it?

3/22/2009 4:15:49 PM - Makes it difficult to know IF he is capable of ever being truthful, he''s certainly never shown me that he could be honest.

3/24/2009 4:51:10 PM - nothing out of his mouth can be trusted

3/25/2009 12:19:34 PM - amen amen amen amen amen!

3/26/2009 2:47:59 PM - He told me once that I really didn't know him. I believe that was the truth, because IF I had been aware of the way he so easily lies, cons and steals, I'd never given him the time of day. So maybe once or twice he actually told the truth.

3/27/2009 9:43:44 AM - yea his lies come out of his mouth so easily, if he would ever tell the truth, one would not reconize it

3/27/2009 9:53:18 AM - gee randy between your 2 accounts you are almost number 1, how does that feel to know that you are known as a number 1 scum bag

3/27/2009 5:00:32 PM - He''s special don''t ya know! So very special, and yes that is a very special scum bag!

3/29/2009 6:51:33 AM - ladies curious here on has he ever defended his wife in all this, or did she she have to fight for herself, seems to me he doesn''t give a dam about her, and letting her sink on her own

3/29/2009 10:12:40 AM - Mrs H is well aware of all that he does, she has talked to some of the women whom He's **stolen** from. As far as his defending her, he's only said that she was mentally unstable and he'd never leave her for that purpose. However, she does or did have a fulltime job, more than anyone could say about him. The law sees her as guilty because she didn't do anything to stop what he was doing, and maybe still doing. Her stories have changed about as much as his, who knows the true truth.

3/29/2009 1:19:54 PM - Doesn't it seem strange that any time someone questions HIM, we become crazy or mentally unstable?

3/29/2009 1:20:24 PM - Lots of us mentally unstable women running around, but no one other than Mr.H has ever called us unstable.

3/29/2009 1:20:55 PM - Aaaawwwwwhawwwww... Now I get it, he''s Made US all Unstable!

3/29/2009 1:21:18 PM - YES, but only in HIS mind!

3/29/2009 3:38:33 PM - you see when i met him, he told me he was completely divorced, when i questioned him on some things, he told me to have faith and trust in him, like a fool i did, learned alot from this mistake

3/29/2009 4:05:54 PM - I am sure, we''ve all learned from meeting the ever charming I FEEL DIVORCED Randy Hopper!

3/29/2009 5:54:44 PM - He gave me the trust me, have faith in me line as well. Amazingly when we compare he''s told all of us the same lies. I do hope this site keeps others from being conned by him.

3/29/2009 5:56:37 PM - And how much he loved me, and how we''d always be together, he''d never leave me, we''d be two old folks holding hands as we rocked in our chairs watching the sun slowly slide out of the sky... such a romantic line... and all bull!

3/30/2009 5:05:30 PM - he has script written out for all he talks to, never wavers from it

3/31/2009 5:55:53 AM - AS far as banding together to alert the world to the tactics of Randy Hopper, I agree, however it seems that he manages to call, and promises that he''''ll do better and he''''s easily forgiven.

3/31/2009 5:56:41 AM - Women are so readily able to once again accept what he says as the truth. BUT ask yourself this one question**** Has he done anything he promised?

3/31/2009 5:57:01 AM - Do you really believe he and his wife aren''''t still living in perfect harmony?

3/31/2009 5:57:41 AM - Do you honestly believe him? Do you?

3/31/2009 5:58:40 AM - You did once and where did it get you? Hurt didn''t it? To realize he''d played you like a fine violin.

3/31/2009 5:59:04 AM - Wake up girls! Respect yourselves and realize that he will continue to use you as long as you allow it.

3/31/2009 11:43:27 AM - And WHY do you assume that SHARI is the one saying this? You haven't a clue how many women on here are aware of Allison, looks to me that YOU may need to realize that you are wrong in your accusations! A victim? Did she benefit from his plunderings?

3/31/2009 11:55:21 AM - Vivian... who is jealous because YOU can't get Randy to leave Allison and come to you? Just rmember, IF he loved you.. heaven and earth couldn't keep him from you!

3/31/2009 11:59:11 AM - You are the one who needs to have their head examined. Making up imaginary MEN in your life so that you feel some self worth, yeah you are sad. Randy LOVES Allison, he''s told me... and he well, he only feels sorry for you and when he doesn''t talk to you, you''ve shown the whole bunch of witches how you STALK him!

3/31/2009 12:01:48 PM - CAT FIGHT!!!! CAT FIGHT!!!!... fire up the spells

3/31/2009 12:04:49 PM - Ask yourself Vivian, why does he always come back to you?

3/31/2009 12:06:07 PM - He comes back to YOU, because you stalk him, you text message him over and over and over again, he can''t find peace when you don''t talk to him. Why is that? Could it be that you are mentally derranged?

3/31/2009 12:08:27 PM - Go to a public welfare physic ward... they have to help you!

3/31/2009 12:13:30 PM - Face it Ms V, you don''t have a creative bone in your body, you copy everyone around you, somone writes something and a few days later the same thing appears and you pat yourself on the back that you''ve written a blog, but isn''t it funny it''s something that someone else has already said? YOU NEED HELP!

3/31/2009 12:22:32 PM - So Elizabeth.... she''s been talked to.. KNOW YOUR FACTS

3/31/2009 3:17:23 PM - Well well well when we assume! Point one finger at someone and look at all those pointed back at you Elizabeth, or Melody, or Jynn, Or kathy whyte...

3/31/2009 3:20:14 PM - LOVE IT WHEN YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD AND THE CLAWS COME OUT! CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT! OH... BUT WHICH ONE HAS THE LONGEST CLAWS?

3/31/2009 3:21:03 PM - OH I KNOW.. IT''S ALLISON ELIZABETH!

3/31/2009 3:23:45 PM - FYI... IT WASN''T SHARI!

3/31/2009 3:39:53 PM - Why, you need to ask, would a woman stay with a man who does some of the things he''s done? I respect myself too much to take the crap he was pulling, that''s why I can walked away from him.

3/31/2009 3:43:29 PM - awwwwwwww.... all the games, the lies and the tears... and the man only lasts a mere 30 seconds.. or 3 pushes.. whichever cums first!

3/31/2009 3:44:35 PM - and you are just as quick to assume!

3/31/2009 3:52:35 PM - and you haven''t slept with this married man? funny thing is, he has selective memories about when he''s married and when he isn''t! he only feels divorced, isn''t the same as being, but in his mind!

3/31/2009 3:54:09 PM - isn''t there a question mark? no one is assuming cept you

3/31/2009 3:55:24 PM - HE told me time and time again he was separated from his mentally unstable wife, and that it was a matter of time and money before he got the divorce. HIS BIGGEST LIE!

3/31/2009 3:56:30 PM - Oh.. so she can support him and be with him the whole time he pulled his crap and once he''s caught, she then disappears and hopes that the courts don''t come after her.. gotcha.. she''s skerred!

3/31/2009 3:58:06 PM - I am enjoying this! Cat fight Cat fight! Cat fight!

3/31/2009 4:01:00 PM - What was that... thing he does with his boxers?

3/31/2009 4:02:49 PM - Elizabeth darlin... KNOW that ALlison has made it her business to talk to everyone of us. She''s spilled her guts... she''s told us things that she doesn''t want out... and her conversations are saved!

3/31/2009 4:09:04 PM - Hot DOG! Ridem Cowgirl!

3/31/2009 4:13:53 PM - NOW wait a minute!!!!!! he and I were together in a previous life as well! We spent years searching for each other and when we finally found each other he''d never let me go...guess he really meant it huh? Rolling eyes..

3/31/2009 4:15:14 PM - Remember he has a script, acting would have at least been a profession he could have excelled at

3/31/2009 4:16:05 PM - Have you ever wondered why he''s called HOP? Hop on, Hop off...

3/31/2009 4:17:45 PM - Oh noooooo.. that''s called the clapper!!! clap on clap off!

3/31/2009 4:20:20 PM - uh awwwwww... disappearing comments... who does that sooo well?

3/31/2009 4:21:28 PM - Hey Amanda.. had any SNOW in Statesville lately?

3/31/2009 4:23:21 PM - so sad.. has the cat fight stopped?

4/1/2009 5:47:18 PM - elizabetrh, allison is going to be charged along with her husband, guilty by association, she did nothing to stop him, she benefitted from all the money he stole from woman, yea she knows she did wrong, she''s being watched also, along with her husband, that fence isn''t working very well allison

4/1/2009 6:07:55 PM - the reason for allison is being accused is because there is enough on her in the on going investigation to accuse her and they both will have charges filed on them soon.....they both know it

4/2/2009 8:43:28 AM - what no comment, gee they both must be scared

4/2/2009 8:52:34 AM - Isn''t Randy''s Dad''s livein named Elizabeth? So maybe Elizabeth is just a name that came to HER? Allison and St V both like to change their names so they can get information... let me betcha now that V has changed hers again! OH BUT wait, she never comes here, she never has anyone to hide from, she just loves her friends who come and read and report back to her. GET a LIFE, and YES YOU LIE St. V, and one day those lies will bite you and your babe in the buttocks.

4/2/2009 8:59:54 AM - OH So Shari is being trashed? You have to wonder IF Vivian told lies on her as well? Because as she so fondly liked to put it, only Shari and Randy knew what took place between them. One day the truth will come out. But let SHARI set this record straight... Hop knew from the moment that Cheryl told me about them that there was no more US. HE lied... he told me he was separated for six years, all the while living with his WIFE and seeing God only knows how many women. Had I known he was married, he''d not gotten the time of day from me. I am NOT pitiful enough to take another woman''s man. The reason men and women cheat is because so many desperate men and women are willing to cheat with them! Got that? I don''t want Randy Hopper, period, why would any of you?

4/2/2009 9:08:28 AM - i don''t want him i''m going after him for what he owes me

4/3/2009 12:32:38 PM - he's scammed and conned so many more than we'll ever know some are just afraid or ashamed, me for one is not afraid of him and i'm waitinfg patiently for him to be picked up, i'm fighting for what he took from me

4/3/2009 2:13:05 PM - I agreed he should be stopped, it's NOT fair that he believes he is entitled to borrow and never repay. Who would have given him money had he not promised to repay?

4/3/2009 2:14:15 PM - He lies and then becomes angry when he''s been found out! And he places blame on US for asking him to repay as he''d said he would?

4/3/2009 2:16:10 PM - He really is mad at himself when he can''t intimidate a woman to walk away and leave him to enjoy the cash she loans him. He had a good game going, too bad he thinks so highly of himself to believe he can borrow and borrow and never pay, and not keep a steady job!

4/4/2009 11:52:59 AM - It's it not easy to love a lie

4/4/2009 11:54:40 AM - Randy Hopper lied about the love he felt, because common sense and reasoning tells me you do not treat those you love the way he treated all of us.

4/4/2009 11:55:53 AM - The man that I loved, only existed in the tall tales he had me believing. So how do you continue to love something that never was?

4/4/2009 11:56:56 AM - And if you ask me now, would I believe he''s a born again Christian, who has changed his ways.....

4/4/2009 11:58:07 AM - I doubt that I''d believe Randy''s word, because he told me he was a good God fearing man, who was also a man of his word, he would not go to hell for lying and then... low and behold what have I been shown?

4/4/2009 12:01:45 PM - we all been shown how much a liar he is, i doubt if he changed his ways, unless he changed his ways to scam more women, since he is in the bible belt area

4/4/2009 12:08:41 PM - This site was set up to warn others before they get suckerpunched into believing him and having to realize that because he didn''t put a gun to your head, he still hasn''t shown any intentions of making good on the loans he needed so badly. He NOW considers all the money he borrowed a gift.

4/4/2009 12:09:51 PM - makes you wonder if he trully loves his wife or is she just a paycheck for him, or partner in crime for all these years

4/4/2009 12:09:54 PM - IF a man asks to borrow, realize that there''s a problem, some lessons have been learned the hard way.

4/4/2009 12:11:22 PM - As SHE told me, she knew all about me and could have contacted me at any time. She had all the information to find me. I was told she was in VA, only came to visit their sons.

4/4/2009 12:11:57 PM - HER Son, and His Nephew...he even lied about that.

4/4/2009 12:13:56 PM - Now, IF you were benefiting from what your husband was doing... and YOU knew how to contact some of the women.... WHY WOULD YOU NOT? Unless, you decided that you would lose too much in doing so?

4/4/2009 12:15:36 PM - Her decision, like HIS decision will be what determines the outcome of how the law sees this. It won''t be any thing any ONE Of us do, they made their beds, and there is NO ONE to blame but themselves.

4/4/2009 4:04:16 PM - if the money he is getting are gifts then he should be claiming them on federal income tax, if he isn''t well that''s more federal charges on him, doubt if he even does taxes

4/5/2009 11:23:41 AM - When you genuinely care for someone and you love them, you try to stop them from doing things that will hurt them.

4/5/2009 11:24:11 AM - They are told over and over again, this is wrong.

4/5/2009 11:24:42 AM - As many times as I have read that Randy has messed up....

4/5/2009 11:25:32 AM - There is NO doubt in my mind that IF he is a Godly man, he totally realizes that the reminders are to keep him on the straight and narrow.

4/5/2009 11:26:25 AM - When you accept the wrong that someone does, you are telling them that you really do not care about them.

4/5/2009 11:26:45 AM - That is is okay to lie.

4/5/2009 11:27:09 AM - That it is okay to cheat on your wife.

4/5/2009 11:27:31 AM - That is is okay to covent what others have that you want.

4/5/2009 11:27:56 AM - That it is okay to not repay your debts.

4/5/2009 11:28:46 AM - That it is okay to continue to do this....

4/5/2009 11:29:28 AM - HE hasn''t apologized for his actions, or made amends on what he owes us, so ask yourself this...

4/5/2009 11:30:00 AM - Do you care enough about a fellow human to continue to remind him to change his ways?

4/5/2009 11:30:41 AM - Or will you simply say, I forgive him and allow him to continue down the road that will one day cause him more pain?

4/5/2009 11:31:56 AM - IF he''s not going to change, then YES, others who may find him here will be warned that his words are useless, he has no intentions of doing what he promised... HE IS NOT A MAN OF HIS WORD...

4/5/2009 11:32:57 AM - So be it, Randy, sounds to me that you have had some ladies who indeed have cared deeply for you.... too bad you can''t learn from them and see the wrong in your ways.

4/5/2009 11:34:12 AM - You''ve said time and time again that You have read the Bible from cover to cover many times....

4/5/2009 11:34:40 AM - Will you accept it as God''s law to live by?

4/5/2009 11:35:24 AM - Will you open your eyes, to the women who cared deeply for you and see that they only want the best for you?

4/5/2009 11:36:15 AM - Will you acknowledge that YES, they are telling you to change, because your deception is wrong?

4/5/2009 11:37:07 AM - Will you see? Will you care? Will you try?

4/5/2009 12:55:54 PM - I agree God will forgive HIM, but Randy has to ask, then he according to God''s word should ask all that he''s betrayed, cheated and taken from for forgiveness as well. HE has not done that.

4/5/2009 1:21:50 PM - I think what she said was, if we continue to forgive him for doing wrong, then we are telling him it''s okay to lie, cheat and steal...it''s not. Don''t reward a wrong with positive reinforcement, that is sending the wrong message to the man.

4/6/2009 6:57:12 AM - the thing is he doesn't follow the scriptures he uses them in his scam, if he really want to be forgiven and show his remorse he would be paying back all he took, if you can forgive his actions that's fine i can't till he starts paying back or is made to pay back, the man has been scamming for too long and needs to go through the legal system, he has broken too many federal laws

4/6/2009 8:56:01 AM - You are correct he needs to face the wrongs he's committed.

4/6/2009 8:56:29 AM - He needs to realize what he has done is wrong and face whatever the courts deem necessary to fix this mess.

4/6/2009 8:57:14 AM - The scriptures say that he is to repay, that he is to ask for forgiveness and the payment will be three times more than what he borrowed. .

4/6/2009 8:58:18 AM - We know that he uses God''s word to con and scam, that''s how he got us to trust him. He quotes from the bible and challenges our beliefs AS HE WOULD LIKE TO APPEAR TO KNOW GOD''S WORD BEST.

4/6/2009 8:59:09 AM - HE will use quotes, and scriptures to back what he wants us to believe. And of course how we should always FORGIVE HIM.

4/6/2009 9:00:03 AM - But the Bible says, if someone is breaking God''s Law, we are to tell them, and keep telling them over and over until they see the wrong. Thus, he''s reminded. over and over.

4/6/2009 9:06:42 AM - Imagine being Randy and knowing all the women you''''ve wronged. Imagine having to look over your shoulder, change your appearence so that you aren''''t easily recognized, imagine having to stand face to face with your maker one day and account for all the wrong you''''ve done! Imagine standing in front of a judge, and facing the women you''''ve wronged as well. Will he continue to threaten to make us all to be whores? Well, you know I was never paid a dime for sleeping with him, but since he was asking for loans which he''''d repay every dime of, what does that make him? Looks to me that he''''s pointing a finger at us, yet the majority are back at him. He''''s made this mess himself... he''''s involved us, I daresay found the majority of us, while posing as a divorced man. His lies are catching up with him. And if this is not the truth, then forgive me, but this is HOW I see the truth. His lies have gotten him into this mess. HIS LIES, not yours, or mine, but HIS.

4/6/2009 9:08:00 AM - Oh Yes, he''s not scared of not having shelter or food, the LORD will provide for all his creatures, if the knows when a sparrow falls, then certainly he''ll provide for me.

4/6/2009 9:08:42 AM - BUT then he only has selective memories of God''s word!

4/6/2009 12:00:42 PM - he wants forgiveness tell him to show us his remorse of scamming and conning, tell him tell the truth about himself, he needs to come with all of us then can healing begin

4/7/2009 8:07:43 AM - I won't hold my breath for him to ever realize that what he has done is wrong. Honestly believe he's missing a gene that allows him to have a conscienceness for right and wrong. He wants what he wants and doesn't care that he hurts and destroys others in getting it. When you've given him all you can, he walks away because you mean no more to him that the tissue he uses to wipe his ass.

4/7/2009 8:08:52 AM - I don''t believe he wants forgivness, he''s never asked, nor does he feel he has anything to gain from asking... seriously believe he has an emotional issue with knowing how to love, maybe he can''t. How sad is that?

4/7/2009 8:14:21 AM - Ladies realize that socopaths will always try to place the blame upon everyone and anyone but themselves. They try to transfer the guilt they want YOU to feel for not helping them more. They want you to believe that it was all YOUR fault that the relationship didn''''t work out. It''''s not, so don''''t own the blame, hand it back to HIM. When you realize that it is NOT you, but all HIM, then you will begin to heal, and see the man for the pitiful excuse of a human he is. His actions are his to own, not yours.

4/9/2009 2:08:06 PM - Sociopaths do what they do, because that’s what they do. We just happened to be there.

4/9/2009 2:09:13 PM - First, he or she proclaimed love and devotion, or a sterling opportunity to succeed together—whatever the promise was. Then, when the promise started falling apart, the sociopath told us it was all our fault.

4/9/2009 2:10:01 PM - We, as normal human beings, believed the original promise—how could anyone say those words and not mean them? So, when the blame started flying from the person who made the promise, we believed that as well.

4/9/2009 2:10:59 PM - The sociopath is the lie. And the sociopath lied because that’s what they do. They are missing the parts—emotional connections to other people and conscience—that make us human.

4/9/2009 2:11:41 PM - Still, there is a reason that we went along with the sociopath’s program, and that is something we do need to take personally, for our own recovery and growth.

4/9/2009 2:12:11 PM - This does not at all excuse the sociopath’s heartless behavior, nor is it meant to blame the victim. But most of us engaged because we wanted to believe the original promise.

4/9/2009 2:12:43 PM - We have to ask ourselves, what was missing within us that allowed us to believe? Did we have experiences in our pasts that made us susceptible to the manipulation? If so, it’s time to look at these issues and heal ourselves.

4/9/2009 2:13:20 PM - So as we extricate ourselves from the sociopath, understand that this is how they are, their behavior is not our fault, and we shouldn’t take it personally.

4/9/2009 2:13:58 PM - But we should take very personally the opportunity to excavate the old, erroneous tapes in our heads, and create wonderful new lives for ourselves.

4/9/2009 2:14:33 PM - Replace the word sociopath with Randy Hopper...does it fit?

4/9/2009 2:17:47 PM - I only want to give a piece of advice that has helped me the most. When I was able to do this, the rest was easier to get through. I stopped taking it personally. It was not an easy task. I read everything I could get my hands on and while I learned his actions were mostly textbook, it was easier for me to let go. Once I convinced myself that I was not the first nor will I be the last, I shut my heart off and stopped taking it personally. This was my key to survival.

4/9/2009 2:18:54 PM - This advice is very simple, but it goes directly to the core of the sociopath’s manipulation, betrayal and abuse. The sociopath never cared about us one way or the other. We were convenient targets. We had something the sociopath wanted. Or we presented an opportunity for the sociopath’s amusement.

4/9/2009 2:20:24 PM - amazing isn''t it? that we were all played so well by such a simple minded man who has not one care in the world for any one of us... we were for his amusement and financial gain. his day will come, he''ll die one day and answer for his deeds, God sees all.

4/9/2009 2:26:28 PM - oh he''s been dieing for years, according to him, just wonder when

4/10/2009 4:29:13 AM - Heading to Mom's for Easter? Sitting around the dinner table discussing all the money you'll need to get yourself out of the mess YOU HAVE gotten yourself into? Oh noooo, I am sure you tell her and Tony that all of US women are after you, funny thing is... I DON'T BELIEVE WE ALL COULD BE TELLING THE SAME STORY! You LIE RANDY!

4/10/2009 4:50:15 AM - does his mother want scum at her dinner table, he should at least tell her the goon news the he is number 1 one womansavers between both accounts, that should prove to her, what we all think of him

4/11/2009 8:46:51 AM - Looks like we need a bucket for all these drips! ____ placing one underneath so that no more of his lies spill out!

4/11/2009 8:59:54 AM - BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET BUCKET

4/12/2009 6:19:45 AM - his lies have been spilling for years

4/14/2009 9:29:35 PM - Plug those holes well, no need to let more lies seep out!

4/15/2009 6:45:03 AM - WHY WOULD YOU LOOK TWICE AT THE PIECE OF SHIT... HES UGLY.. INSIDE AND OUT.. GET A LIFE YOU DUMB ASSES BITCHES

4/15/2009 10:16:14 AM - Good question, but love is thus blind, once your eyes have been opened you see him for the true man he is. We do have a life, thank you, but we also moniter so that others are warned of him... and for the record, bitches are canines, not ladies.

4/15/2009 7:03:13 PM - IF they never had him, how could it have been? Only fantasy! Sad but TRUE, all a head game!

4/17/2009 1:53:27 PM - Whether you''ve been someone hurt by Randy or any of the other men on this site, You have to wonder why people get away with taking from women or men for that matter. Why is it okay to allow someone who appears to enjoy hurting or as I read emotionally and financially raping each other? I personally, can not see the wrong in posting this. It can keep others from being taken, emotionally and financially. Read the postings on Ralph Aloe’s page and tell me if it doesn’t sound as though it could have been posted on Randy’s page as well. Except for Randy is always involving money in his LOVE for you. Read all the descriptions of a sociopath or people who have antisocial problems, on Aloe’s page. Sound like someone we know?

4/18/2009 4:51:20 AM - To the above poster who has pointed fingers at those of us whom have been HURT by this man, if you look at the very first posting, it will give you the date it was first posted. NO it has not been two years. So you need to get YOUR facts straight.

4/18/2009 4:54:43 AM - And IF this was my brother, my father, my uncle, my nephew, my cousin, my son how would I feel? I would feel that just maybe there was some truth to this, and rather than to continually sweep it aside and to accept that he''s hurting women, find a way to get HIM help. It''s not okay what he''s doing. It is wrong? Can YOU not see that? Or maybe it''s that you don''t want to accept that someone you love is capable of this? Do you condone it? What can or will YOU do to make it right?

4/18/2009 4:56:51 AM - True on may read many things and associate them with someone, but you know, when you have women who have lived this with this man, they are in awe of all of this. Oh and for the record, Vivian was the very first to point this out to all of us? Maybe in the decade she knew him, she knew him better than any? Maybe she knew the man that he really is?

4/18/2009 5:00:13 AM - As far as being compulsive about writing about him, maybe so. However, when he was asked in front of his loving SONS if he just lied and kept on lying, one lie after another, it was funny that they both KNEW his pattern. Young men who know what their DAD is all about. Why doesn''t someone, his sisters, his brother, his nephews, cousin, wife, or mother see how they can address this with him? Find the man help, rather than finding fault with those of us whom are screaming out for you to help him!? Think of it that way for ONCE.

4/18/2009 5:02:56 AM - OH But... maybe you are too perfect and don''t want to face the imperfection in your own families and he''s just not important enough to do anything about? Do you love him? We all loved him once... we all cared deeply for him, we all learned it was a con to get what he could from us, but yes, dear poster he was loved. Unfortunately we loved a man who did not exist. He only painted a pretty picture that he was able to get us to believe.

4/18/2009 5:04:55 AM - He flattered us, he told us what we all longed to hear, and we bought it! I daresay anyone would. But does it make it right to prey upon others? Nope, surely doesn''t. So when we post, we are working through our anger, we are trying to find a rhyme or reason to why this has happened to any ONE of us.

4/18/2009 5:06:50 AM - IF you were ever to go to a therapist, do you know what the first thing they will tell you to do is? Do you? Do you have a clue? Do you even care? They will tell you to talk it out, to write it, to get the HURT out... tada! Chew on that and then tell us, other than maybe Randy hating that he was caught, why we are wrong?

4/18/2009 5:10:31 AM - Just maybe you haven''t a clue the debts that the hurt Randy Hopper instilled within his conquest have gone? Do you know what it feels like to realize that he laughed in your face? That he justifies all he''s done? Keep coming back here and reading our thought, keep coming back here and posting that we are crazy, because it tells me that you have a NEED of some sort to do so. There is a NEED, and that is to find HELP for HIM. IF YOU LOVE HIM, AS A FAMILY, IF INDEED YOU ARE HIS FAMILY POSTING, FIND A WAY TO SEE THAT WE HAVN''T MISREPRESENTED THIS, THAT HE IS VERY VERY GOOD AT MAKING YOU BELIEVE WE ARE THE CRAZY ONES.

4/18/2009 9:42:24 AM - I don''t see that you were attacking anyone, and you shouldn''t have felt that you were being attacked. But as you said, and I quote ~ Reading these comments daily, I see psychosis, compulsive disorders and neurotic tendencies in the writers as well. When are you going to understand that your excuse of trying to protect someone else from being taken by this man is a lie to justify your compulsion to seek vengence for your own unresolved personal issues? I''m not trying to insult anyone, but no one will ever heal or move past the pain associated with this trauma if you keep dwelling on it like this~~~ You have a compulsion to come here daily to see what has been written? Why? When you heal you get it OUT... YES he hurt us. He is continuing to deny that he has done wrong. Maybe he needs to be the one who faces what he''s done. He hasn''t apologized now has he?

4/18/2009 9:43:24 AM - OH I AM SURE HE''D LOVE THIS TO JUST GO AWAY! FACING THE WRONGS IN YOUR LIFE IS NOT EASY WHEN YOU HAVE FOUND A WAY TO MAKE A LIVING OFF OF OTHERS.

4/18/2009 5:35:17 PM - yet if he continues to live off others, and no one does anything about it, yes we need to warn others, his family knows what he does and doesn't bother to stop him, between us and the law he will be stopped soon

4/19/2009 5:12:37 AM - YES, and this will continue until he grows up, becomes the man of his word he is so fond of quoting himself as being. We are a bad dream to him, one he thought he could bully and threaten with blackmail and would simply go away... duh. Guess his DARKSIDE didn''t quiet work well enough. His bluff has been called.

4/22/2009 5:15:17 AM - A relationship or any type of involvement with a sociopath leaves us with a big ball of turmoil. We discover that everything he or she has ever said to us was a lie, and we are outraged. We learn that we were played like a fool, and we are humiliated. We realize that our love and trust were abused, and we fear that we’ll never love and trust again. Andrea lovefraud

4/22/2009 5:16:31 AM - Everybody is not evil. This is not an evil world. Evil does exist — call it badness, narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy, selfcenteredness, cruelty. Whatever you call it, it is behaviour fostered by an attitude of entitlement that leads people to do evil. Was ******** evil? I believe he has a ‘bad attitude’ fostered by a perspective of living that says, what I want is what I deserve. Getting it is all that counts. And I will do anything to get what I want, regardless of the consequences to anyone else. lovefraud

4/22/2009 5:17:48 AM - I believe there are people in this world who share that attitude. People for whom what they want is all that counts, to hell with the consequences, to hell with the impact upon other people, upon our world. I can’t change anyone else’s attitude. I can adjust mine. In a time where the world appears to be spinning out of control, where markets tumble and fortunes crumble, I take a breath and remind myself — I can’t stop the world. Can’t change it. I can change my attitude to make a difference in my world today. I can be the light I am seeking. I can be the change I want to create. I can keep abuse out of my life by standing true to me, by turning up for me and loving myself, exactly the way I am. lovefraud

4/22/2009 5:18:43 AM - Life is an adventure worth living. It is a constant journey into peace, love and joy that moves me closer to my brilliant core, my life force that says, I am one magnificent human being living, as Joseph Campbell once stated, in the rapture of being alive. lovefraud

4/22/2009 5:20:22 AM - In reading the above, we can allow ourselves to become victims to men whom prey upon unsuspecting women, OR we can fight back, by educating ourselves to the pattern that they go about using you. Then you heal, then you put your life back into prospective and You are stonger for facing the wolf and knowing HE did not win.

4/26/2009 4:56:32 PM - Randy since someone said you were working, choke choke, why don't you start paying back all of who you told, i will pay you back....as for me i have copies of all im's that you told when you were going to pay me back and it never happened.......if you start doing that then maybe this nitemare of a place will go away.....that's a big maybe

4/26/2009 7:52:22 PM - One again, if he's breathing, chances are he's wasting his breath saying something that will never happen. We believed in him, he showed us all the man of HIS word that he was so fond of stating. Man of His word, worthless word.

4/28/2009 7:23:06 AM - The following was on Lovefraud, hope it aids in explaining and helps with healing..........Pathologically selfcentered individuals, such as sociopaths or narcissists, often project a level of selfconfidence that is pathlogically tremendous. This can be a problem for others who, unlike the sociopath, will be prone to empathy and selfreflection, along with which come selfdoubt and hence fluctuating, less dependable levels of confidence. But the pathologically selfcentered individual is often seemingly immune to selfdoubt and can thus seem implacably, impressively confident. Why? The answer is suprisingly simple: When your interest in others is principally, if not entirely, about what you can get, or take, from them when you lack the capacity for, and/or inclination to, genuine, thoughtful selfreflection and when the meaning, or purpose, of life is fundamentally reduced to the expectation, and pursuit, of continual gratification, you have a prescription not only for pathological selfcenteredness, but its frequent concomitant—pathological selfconfidence. Think about it: for such an individual, it is mostly, and sometimes only, about what he wants. And if he knows what he wants, such an individual will feel entitled to it. And his sense of entitlement becomes selfvalidating—selfvalidating, that is, of whatever argument, rationalization, or manipulation brings him closer to his demand. In other words, the pathologically selfcentered individual has something very powerful in his favor—conviction. His is the conviction of his entitlement, of his right to have what he wants—whether it’s agreement, an apology, special attention, cooperation, sex, a favor, forgiveness, you name it. And he wields his sense of conviction powerfully and persuasively—all the moreso if he’s also articulate and glib. This explains how a sociopath can look you in the eye and blame you for something—even his victimization of you—and yet you struggle to fully disbelieve him. As I just noted, if he is intelligent and glib, he is in an even better position to erode your sense of reality. He can construct positions, however absurd and even confirming of his sociopathic orientation, that nevertheless have just enough superficial plausability to arrest your attention. Once you’ve been disarmed, even slightly, his impregnably confident assertions, stemming from his pathological selfcenteredness, can have a brainwashing influence. You wonder if you’re not crazy? The “gaslighting effect” is in full throttle. It is disorienting, literally, to have someone present even a ridiculous proposition, demand, or accusation with unwavering confidence and certitude. And the disorienting effect is magnified exponentially when the assertion is simultaneously packaged in superficially intelligent, coherent, “rational”sounding language. Confidence in one’s sense of reality can wane, and fail, under this combination assault. This can explain why sometimes extremely intelligent, thoughtful and selfrespecting individuals can actually be at greater risk of accepting and tolerating abuse. It can be a case of the exploiter’s pathologically inflated confidence overwhelming the more selfquestioning, selfdoubting individual’s reality.

5/7/2009 6:13:19 AM -

5/7/2009 6:13:21 AM -

5/13/2009 10:16:31 AM -

5/13/2009 5:07:13 PM -

5/19/2009 3:08:40 PM -

5/27/2009 5:01:31 PM - Randy posted on his one screen name profile yesterday that he has gone fishing, that means he has scammed and conned another woman and is actually not doing what he says he''s doing.......might have to do a drive by, i''ll wave at you luv........

5/28/2009 12:54:38 PM - it wasn''t a remark on this site it was on his yahoo.......who taught you to read

5/28/2009 4:51:00 PM - mr hopper is on line everyday, what does he have to do, these sites make him enable to work, according to him, he can''t get a job, too bad Randy you did this to yourself, maybe if you work an honest job, and never put yourself in the position your in now you wouldn''t be on any sites like this one.

5/29/2009 5:39:32 AM - or he tries to get back with you to see if he can get more out of you, or some women try to keep hold of him and think he can change and it''s so sad that he is using those women for his own gain to hurt others, those women don''t realize what they have done.

6/2/2009 9:15:49 AM - excuse me i never posted anything about you deb, do i feel sorry for you the answer is no, so find out who posted it, just don't blame me for something i didn't do......

6/6/2009 9:13:03 AM -

6/15/2009 10:50:21 AM - if your so sick of the bs why don''t you stop complaining of what people are doing to you and do something about him.....some of us are trying to stop him.....what are you doing???????

6/17/2009 12:14:28 PM -

6/19/2009 10:58:58 AM -

6/19/2009 11:58:09 AM - it goes both ways and you don't like what i have to say then don't bother coming into the site, and only one person knows how's how much i sent the deadbeat

6/20/2009 8:20:30 AM - i couldn''t care less if they side with me or you all i know is alot of woman are afraid of his black mail that is all a hoax, what have you done about him nothing from what i can tell, seems to me you are still smitten with him

7/6/2009 2:35:49 PM -

7/10/2009 2:39:16 PM -

10/26/2009 12:13:26 PM - how do i talk with some of you in private?

10/30/2009 6:36:45 AM - are or where any of you married while u saw him, does he try & black mail?

11/15/2009 1:02:31 PM -

1/2/2010 10:04:15 PM -

1/4/2010 4:32:59 PM - Hopper is an interesting name because this is exactly what this animal does....hops from woman to woman ravaging them like a locust. I found that everything he does, is done wilh a bit of control...even with sumbliminal malice. he is bordering on psycopathic. There is a bouie Knife named Randolf or the randy27, while try to seduce you, he will put up images of bears, wovlves. We who him understand what the wolf stands for.(snapped a pic and dare say I will go a little graffic art and post it someplace. Well all this started clicking in my mind...why the intimidating imagry like a Grizzly ,no pun intened,bearing its teeth. I love to see a pic, bio. etc of his wife. 270 pound tessie? Ungly as sin and willing to put up with beating and crap for any scrap she can get? I have current pics and Randy probally has a new number already. Thanks ladies I have blocked every avenue him getting ahold of me. I'm happy to have a place of venting. looking forward to a scheduled chat. and I am on OLD AOL monitor...so if you got the tools I know netiquette, maybe can volunteer once ya'll learn to know me.

1/5/2010 4:52:40 PM - He is working on Texas girls now. Sorry I wasn''t dumb enough to fall for your crap Randy. Your losing your touch old man! Keep texting me though telling me how much were made for each other. It makes me laugh and as I told you I love laughing. Ravenkiller

1/7/2010 12:05:14 PM - I think gathering everyone together in one event would really have the biggest impact on the actual number of women he has tried to take advantage of, and lie to. I''m sure everyone would be a bit surprised. Oh yes, bring the photos. I''m sure it would be quite an event.

1/13/2010 2:19:46 PM - randy is no longer on pof his account was closed jan 10th

1/19/2010 8:13:21 PM - As of this morning, he said he was heading to colorado, but said he''d be back and make sure i lock up....isn''t he scheduled for court on feb. 3rd in Mecklenburg County??

1/20/2010 12:08:52 PM - Just stop communicating with him!! He has never actually followed through on any threats!! He can''t pry himself away from the computer long enough to actually make good on his threats anyway! He is just a bully with his words. I wouldn''t lose any sleep over it! He is a compulsive lier and you can''t believe what he says, or where he is, or what he is doing, or who he is with, or his hardship stories...NOTHING!!

1/25/2010 6:04:21 PM - OMG, I am so glad I decided to google Randy and found this site. I have known him for about a year and he disappeared and showed back up 3 days ago. He has yet to ask me for money but he never told me about a wife. I met him on a site named yearbook and he has all kinds of beautiful women on his page. He has been asking me to view my web cam but I lied and told him it was broken. Thanks to all of you He won''t get a chance to ask me for any money. I don''t have any anyway.

1/26/2010 11:07:54 AM - OMG...I TRULY need to listen to my sixth sense better!! It didn''t take long for him to INSIST we meet in person...all of 2 days of emails, texts and phone calls. What he didn''t count on???? My heart wasn''t available for him to squash, nor my money for him to take. All I wanted from him was sex...hahahaha...joke was on me...30 seconds is NOT enough. Good luck ladies...NAIL HIS ASS TO THE WALL!!!! Allison...the wife...you let him put his hands on you & you stay??? You deserve it!!

1/26/2010 2:02:11 PM - Hey girls...if ya''''''''ll are close, we should ALL show up at the mecklenburg courthouse, wednesday, Feb 3rd for his court date...832 e. 4th st., charlotte, room 1130 @ 9 AM...i know i will be there to show the arresting officer or a judge the threatening texts he sent to me...not getting off that easy this time! Home address is listed in concord, nc, but not his I understand. FYI, Randy supposedly doesn''t live with his wife anymore and she is trying to get away from him...I'm giving her ther benefit of the doubt anyways....

1/27/2010 3:12:55 PM - Randy is on myyearbook.com as well under Raven same profile pic as on POF...i REPORTED HIM UNDER ABUSE ON THAT SITE TODAY.

1/29/2010 10:47:54 AM - Yes, I did find out that randy was sterile and that corey is allison''s son even tho Randy told me that he and his son lived apart from allison. Now, the kid is the one i feel sorry for! This story just keeps going on and on, doesn''t it! beats reality tv

1/29/2010 11:21:34 AM - Just how old is Corey?? He told me the same crap about the two of them living away from her. If Corey really is 22, why doesn''t he just leave that insanity?

1/29/2010 10:39:55 PM - Corey will be 23 tomorrow i think...Randy said Corey spent most of his time in his room playing video games and doesn''t go to school and isn''t like him..thank God! If randy didn''t spend all that time on the computer stalkn women instd of workn like a real man, and being a role model for Corey maybe he would stop the cycle of neglect and abuse... sorry for the boy

3/1/2010 8:23:29 AM -

3/5/2010 6:17:20 AM - Randy is definitely still at it on yearbook, at least. I talked with him a few times at the request of a friend who didn't feel things were 'quite right.' Wow, he's something else! geez

3/6/2010 6:14:56 AM -

3/6/2010 1:13:06 PM - You do not know how very grateful I am in this moment to find this site. For almost a month I have been talking to him and he is really good. I feel so bad to be taken advantage of like this but I cannot be angry, it was my own desire that made me fall prey. I should have known better and in the future I will. He will not destroy my faith in love and that the right person he pretended to be is still out there for me. For what ever pain he was caused that creates this predatory need in him, I hope he finds some peace and healing...not just for his sake but for the sake of all the other innocent women out there with beautiful hearts just looking for someone who loves them and who they can love. Thank you again, all of you for your postings. I pray that you find healing and peace despite this betrayal.

3/9/2010 8:47:40 AM - A LOST SOUL is what Randy is...he popped up on my messenger on Sunday, forgot I hadn't deleted him and told him I wasn't mad at him any longer..calling me names when I found him out, making threats and just being deceitful...he laughed and called me a c**t....DELETE!! There is no help for a person with such a black heart.

3/9/2010 9:46:35 PM - Not lost but dark disguised as light. You did nothing wrong. Keep documentation of unwanted contact...there are stalking laws that apply to every unwanted email, IM and cell phone text or call. The courts takes these things seriously these days. : You can report him to yahoo too if he keeps contacting you...delete and block from email, IM and any online contact. Report any misconduct to site admins. : Smile you''re free from him. You did good!

3/12/2010 11:15:56 AM - For those of you that find your way to this site because you have come into contact with this, first, I''m sorry. Next, deal with your anger constructively and do not hold it as that will bind you to him all the more. If you want to be rid of the memories and the pain, let it go and move on to something infinitely more beautiful and constructive for you. Nothing wrong with keeping the page views and comments in the top 10...LOL I hope that you are able to heal and learn from this experience, walk away and think of it no longer. Allow yourselves to find healing and kindness in friendship and family far away from the moment in time your paths crossed. Sending you blessings, all of you.

3/15/2010 6:35:10 AM - I couldn''t have said it better myself! Unfortunately, I do need to think about it on occasion as I want to make sure I never fall prey to someone of his character again!

4/7/2010 2:31:29 AM - Has anyone ever kept transcripts of conversations between Randy and themselves and posted it to help those of us out here that are still being victimized by him? I think it would be very interesting. I believe I got by relatively unscathed. I don''t think I was his typical mark. I can''t say anymore at this time. I wanted to be able to help others, but I simply don''t have enough information to help anyone. This site is an invaluable resource, however and I thank the many women who have taken the time to write and tell their stories. I am sorry that they were taken in by Randy''s charismatic charm. I truly think Randy cannot help himself because he is sick, and I believe if you see it in that light, it might be a little easier, I hope. It doesn''t change the fact that you were horribly mistreated and no one deserves that kind of treatment and especially in the name of love. All of these women who were so willing to love and cherish him so deeply and he has no idea just what he was missing. It''s really sad isn''t it? When you think about it, he really lives a miserable existence and can''t be truly happy, and can''t experience true love with his mental illness. He can''t experience such true love as you all were willing to share with him. I have heard that Randy is getting his latest victims from MyYearBook dot com and that his ID there is Raven One. I believe some of the women online have tried to stop him, but have been unable to do so, so far. I also understand that his information was posted on someone''s profile to warn others. What more can you do, besides writing to every woman and telling them to beware? He also still has his old Yahoo ID, which I believe might be SkyRaven with some numbers after the Raven, maybe 27? I don''t know if any of this information is new to anyone, but I thought I would post it in the hopes that it might help someone. It''s funny how when you look at something after the fact, you see the red flags you should have seen from the beginning, but didn''t see, because you were blinded by his charm and wanting to believe in someone and something.

7/13/2010 9:48:55 AM -

7/27/2010 11:21:31 AM -

7/29/2010 9:31:37 AM - I have to agree with the women on this site. I to was contacted by Raven On on Myyearbook. He is still on and contacting people. Though I am smart enough now once I have an email or anything on the person I use the internet to do searches and sure enough came up with a site that gave me information on him since his email now is skyraven27@yahoo.com. Never tried to con me. Had only spoken a few times and was totally offended that I deleted him from my friends list. lol ! But I am not done with him. I am very good a tracking and finding people and now after reading what he has done to others. I am just going to f*** with him as much as he has done to the other women.. Yes, we woman can be just as devious and mean as them and I have successfully done it several times to scum. To the point they disappear for a long time. So I have already located him on several sites and started my path of destruction on him. Don''t care if he reads this.. Now is he always going to wonder if the person he is friend requesting is me... in SHEEP CLOTHING instead. And I will make it a habit to contact every women on the site he is friends with and point them in the right direction so that they are aware of the Piece of S*** that he is. And everyone else should do the same. We can''t let these idiots just go around doing this. Damn I hate STUPID !! And he is on the TOP OF MY LIST !! Have a great day ladies !! Be careful out there and even smarter then they are and we are by far way smarter : Keep your tail tucked Randy.. Here I come..

7/29/2010 9:51:18 AM - Bye bye Randy.. Myyearbook account gone.. One down.. NEXT !!

7/30/2010 9:00:58 PM - Just got back on Myyearbook as Ravens Wing... Working on having him deleted again.. Hoping to have him gone by tomorrow. This guy just won''t stop. Going to start to send all the women he contacts this link and all the other links and maybe even the links to his real estate tax information where is shows his information in full text with his wife''s name. Maybe for those who don''t understand then they will. It''s very simple stupid. The internet is a wealth of information if you know how to use it..

8/9/2010 1:43:58 PM -

9/30/2010 7:39:42 PM -

10/1/2010 3:36:32 PM - Wow. Somebody has entirely to much time on their hands.

10/3/2010 5:24:00 PM -

3/6/2012 5:55:35 PM - POST HIM ON filthyliar.com, reportyourex.com, dontdatehimgirl.com and datingpsychos.com, TOO, AND TELL US HIS AGE IF YOU DID NOT DO SO ALREADY, PLEASE. And no, contrary to the last comment posted before mine, I DO NOT THINK SHE HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS. If she spent years with the guy, then that long of a time duped by him WILL take many more details than just posting about some jerk with whom a woman has only spent, say, a few months. Let us keep things in PERSPECTIVE. I am GLAD she profiled him. The traumas these frauds cause to women might take years to describe, when the women recall yet another detail about their exes, even months or weeks later, after their initial postings, to add to their descriptions.

8/18/2012 3:14:06 AM - Thank God you posted a warning about this man so that he will have a harder time victimizing women, especially young women. Check out the narcissistic sociopath that I almost married, he almost killed me when I confronted him with his cheating and lying: Cain Ace Dewitt.

4/11/2013 9:22:53 AM - He looks like trailer trash anyway! Must be a smooth talker to con so many!
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Date Survey Submitted: 3/23/2008 6:28:21 PM
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