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"Boys will be boys" - we've all heard that one, right? It's bad enough that most ALL men will cheat if 1.) given the chance, 2.) given the opportunity, 3.) if they think they can get away with it, and 4.) because they can. Men have ridiculous egos that seem to revolve around their penises. But what about the girls who cheat with them, knowing that there is someone else who would be hurt by their man's transgression? When it comes to going after a guy that she wants, there are very few honorable women left.
I've been on both sides of this issue. When I was in my early twenties I got suckered in by an older man who preyed on my naivete and made me believe he was going to leave his wife of many years for me. Guess what? He didn't. Unbeknownst to me, he was a well-know lothario who had been unfaithful many times over the years with many other girls like me. His wife found out about our affair and because it was a small town, I had to face her. It was terrible. I will never forget the sadness in her eyes. Knowing that I had contributed to her pain was - and still is, one of the greatest regrets of my life. I made a vow to myself to never again be the other woman. And I wish I could say there haven't been any more opportunities!
In the twenty years since then I have been propsitioned by at least a dozen married, or attached men. And every time it happens I lose a little more respect for men in general. But that won't make me lose respect for myself by selling my sisters out! Usually (though not always) when a man has "come onto" me, he's been under the influence so I say in a nice (but firm) manner, "I would never help you cheat on your girl. Let's just say you got 'carried away' with yourself and made a mistake by propositioning me and I'll give you a 'free pass', because I really do think it would hurt (insert woman's name here) to know what you just suggested. But if it ever happens again, I am going straight to her with the truth. " Only once has the guy been stupid enough to try again - and yes, I went to his girlfriend and told her. She's still with him! But my conscience is clear - and at least she knows what kind of "man" she's staying with.
But, as the saying goes, 'what comes around, goes around.' A few years ago I met the man I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. He had a history of being a dog, but, like most women, I felt I was different, I'd be the one to change him, (you know the rest). And we were working it out. That is until another woman decided he was her ideal meal ticket and set out to "steal him away" from me. It was two years of me kicking him out, him begging forgiveness, me taking him back.....lots of drama. When he had nowhere else to turn he'd go to the woman I refer to as "the whore" and she did the one thing she could do that I couldn't - she got pregnant! Which is exactly what I had predicted she was trying to do from day one. It's really the only way she CAN keep him - if the baby is in fact his, ( let's just say she isn't the most "discriminating" of ladies ). But what has she really succeeded in "winning'? A man who will never be faithfull to HER. A man who told me on more than one occaision that he thought of her as a "stank-ass slut", "retarded", and many other lovely nomikers. Nice guy, huh? He doesn't love her - he doesn't even love himself.
I have been devastated by this emotional roller-coaster, but I know that I really am better off without him. Yes - he was, is, and will always be, a player. But what about the female who knew we were a couple, went so far as to apologize to me for "hooking up with him" the first time - claiming she didn't know at the time we "was together" ( her poor grammar is one of her unique qualities ) and pursued him like a terrier to vermin? That's the real injustice in my mind. It's bad enough that, as a woman in a couple we are subjected to the internet, porn, and other avenues that lead our guys astray - when we knowingly go after a guy who IS attached (no matter what he SAYS), we are selling out each other - and ourselves. A man who will cheat WITH you, will cheat ON you. When you help him hurt another woman, you have done nothing but demean your position in life and perpetuate the lack of trust that unfortunately characterizes so many female friendships. Be a stand-up woman - don't make it easy for men to hurt the one at home.
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