WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S ONLY FORUM / Sadness

Tink, how are you doing?

Hi Busty.  I‘m doing okay.  Moodswingish but otherwise well.  He‘s feeling horrible, and I can actually see it in his face.  I don‘t want him to feel horrible forever, but it does help that he actually acknowledges what he did was wrong, that he knows that in his own mind, not just voicing it.

I‘m not to the forgiving stage yet.  I‘m at the "I still love you but this won‘t fly again" state, and he knows it goes without saying....although I‘ve said it too.

It helps that I have the support of his own family.  The "woman" lives in a small town (like many towns there) and I‘m pretty sure word has gotten around about her.  Of course, what I find intriguing is she claims he started it, he claims she started it, and my words are "really, who cares? You were both adults.  The other, knowing it was wrong, could‘ve simply shut off the chat right then."  And she wants to just "move on" with her life.  Convenient for her that she can move on.  I‘m still like a wounded animal.  Less so than before, but still the wounds are fresh.

Another comment she made to me was that if she would‘ve known me (she just knew OF me) she wouldn‘t have done it.  I had to ask her if that means any man she knows who is married, and she doesn‘t know the wife, that she will do this same thing with.  Who cares if she actually KNEW me.  She saw my husband and I posting on each other‘s FBs.  No matter what stupid thing he may or may not have said about our relationship, she could‘ve called his motives into question, but she chose not to.

But he is the one that ultimately should‘ve told her to eff off.

I‘m getting there.  I have you all here, and just that alone, and the support from friends and family, and his self-loathing for his behavior (right now....I don‘t mean I want him to suffer for life), that is what gets me through.

Love to all.