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| little_sassy |
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Posted: 2/15/2010 8:08 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 30
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Total Posts: 542
Somewhere
Arkansas
United States
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Hey Everyone!! 
I am just courious as to why when you have been put down, cheated on, made to feel worthless does it stick with you?
Is it for ever?
I am dating a Great guy!! I still have the same crazy things like I want to check his phone or email or be like what are you doing who are you taking to? Why is that?
I try so hard to just relax he is home every night he is loveable.
Am I going to be Crazy forever? I hate this feeling!! My entire family loves him and they don‘t like anyone!! Really! lol
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| Rhiannon |
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Posted: 2/15/2010 8:21 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3518
Lacey
Washington
United States
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Little Sassy: I don‘t know how much time you‘ve taken between relationships, or if just one guy cheated, or if they all cheated... Obviously, you have been hurt a great deal.
I recommend counseling. It‘s a great way to process hurt, betrayal and anger, and to get in touch with your emotions. It‘s a great way to learn to understand why we do the things we do. Some emotional healing needs to take place, or you will bring old baggage into a new relationship, and end up ruining the new relationship.
The biggest favor you can do for your partner is to share your insecurities, without making him responsible for them. Own your feelings, and know that you are the only one who can make yourself happy or unhappy.
As long as he treats you well and is honest with you, do not compare him to anyone else.
The more emotional healing you do, the better. Then it will be easier to learn to trust again. Not all men are the same.
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 2/16/2010 3:59 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 5643
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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| little_sassy wrote: | Hey Everyone!!
I am just courious as to why when you have been put down, cheated on, made to feel worthless does it stick with you?
Is it for ever?
I am dating a Great guy!! I still have the same crazy things like I want to check his phone or email or be like what are you doing who are you taking to? Why is that?
I try so hard to just relax he is home every night he is loveable.
Am I going to be Crazy forever? I hate this feeling!! My entire family loves him and they don‘t like anyone!! Really! lol |
Sassy I have though of you often! Glad to see you back!
To answer the question for me NO
I have no though about checking my boyfriends email or phone. if I ever fell like I want to or need to, I will leave.
I am never going thru that kind of hell again!
I am a no bullSHIT zone now. I will not tolerate any lies!!
I hope you are well
sunny
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| little_sassy |
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Posted: 2/16/2010 8:08 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 30
Total Posts: 542
Somewhere
Arkansas
United States
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I have told him about my insecurities and he is very understanding. He really is a great guy. I did not feel this way untill he got ahold of an old freind. They happened to be friends then a realationship and friends again. She is also Hundreds of miles away.
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 2/16/2010 8:09 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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| little_sassy wrote: | |
Hey Everyone!! I am just courious as to why when you have been put down, cheated on, made to feel worthless does it stick with you? Is it for ever? I am dating a Great guy!! I still have the same crazy things like I want to check his phone or email or be like what are you doing who are you taking to? Why is that? I try so hard to just relax he is home every night he is loveable. Am I going to be Crazy forever? I hate this feeling!! My entire family loves him and they don‘t like anyone!! Really! lol
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I don‘t think any of us are so unique that we cannot heal, just like everyone else.
I too have issues with trust after being hurt just like you. Sometimes its tempting to go snooping...but why? What would it serve? If you have a suspicion then fine, I say snoop away...but listen to yourself, listen to your gut, ask yourself is it him you don‘t trust or is it you...can you not trust that this man likes you for who you are and wants you and only you as his significant partner? I have to work on this every day, I have cried tears and raged and ranted alone in my room over my crippling insecurities...all because I‘ve been hurt. I know how difficult this is, I‘m probably the wrong person to give you the magic answer because I still find trusting the man I love very difficult, we are having a child together, he has never betrayed me and he is gentle and kind. I on the otherhand have hurt him a lot in the past with my defensiveness and coldness...what I‘m trying to say is that healing after being hurt isn‘t easy, its a tough road and I‘m still on it after 5 years...so keep trodding it and remember life is a journey, not a destination.
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| little_sassy |
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Posted: 2/16/2010 8:10 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 30
Total Posts: 542
Somewhere
Arkansas
United States
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| sunny fl wrote: |
| little_sassy wrote: |
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Hey Everyone!!
I am just courious as to why when you have been put down, cheated on, made to feel worthless does it stick with you?
Is it for ever?
I am dating a Great guy!! I still have the same crazy things like I want to check his phone or email or be like what are you doing who are you taking to? Why is that?
I try so hard to just relax he is home every night he is loveable.
Am I going to be Crazy forever? I hate this feeling!! My entire family loves him and they don‘t like anyone!! Really! lol |
Sassy I have though of you often! Glad to see you back!
To answer the question for me NO
I have no though about checking my boyfriends email or phone. if I ever fell like I want to or need to, I will leave.
I am never going thru that kind of hell again!
I am a no bullSHIT zone now. I will not tolerate any lies!!
I hope you are well
sunny |
Sunny!!
I am doing GREAT!! Well other then my Crazy spells. lol I have thought of you often to I am now back online!! I have my Own house and I just got a new to me car!! I am doing well!! How is everything with you?
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 2/16/2010 9:42 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 5643
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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| little_sassy wrote: |
| sunny fl wrote: |
| little_sassy wrote: |
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Hey Everyone!!
I am just courious as to why when you have been put down, cheated on, made to feel worthless does it stick with you?
Is it for ever?
I am dating a Great guy!! I still have the same crazy things like I want to check his phone or email or be like what are you doing who are you taking to? Why is that?
I try so hard to just relax he is home every night he is loveable.
Am I going to be Crazy forever? I hate this feeling!! My entire family loves him and they don‘t like anyone!! Really! lol |
Sassy I have though of you often! Glad to see you back!
To answer the question for me NO
I have no though about checking my boyfriends email or phone. if I ever fell like I want to or need to, I will leave.
I am never going thru that kind of hell again!
I am a no bullSHIT zone now. I will not tolerate any lies!!
I hope you are well
sunny |
Sunny!!
I am doing GREAT!! Well other then my Crazy spells. lol I have thought of you often to I am now back online!! I have my Own house and I just got a new to me car!! I am doing well!! How is everything with you? |
I am doing good too. I am divorced and dating a wonderful man, from my pasted. I also became a grandmother since you and i last chatted.
Don‘t let your ex scar you to where you don‘t trust again.
Watch for red flags and always listen to your gut!!
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/18/2010 9:55 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 431
Where I live
Texas
United States
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I went through the exact same thing, sass. It took me YEARS to trust again. Luckily the person I am with was a trooper and put up with the snooping with a bit of humor and cracking jokes at me while I did what I felt I needed to do. Not all guys are going to be so good-natured about it though. I never got counseling, just the love of a good man.
If I had the resources, I would have gotten counseling. I had to do it the hard way.
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| not pissed |
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Posted: 4/20/2010 6:55 PM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 28
Total Posts: 304
gullah gullah baby
South Carolina
United States
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I waited till I thought I was ready to date again (6 years) and I believed I had found someone who I could trust... I never thought about checking the phone even though he spent a lot of time on it (he had facebook, myspace and text ability) Sometimes he‘d get text in the middle of the night and I assumed it was just the weird scheduled he worked... I tried really hard not to get paranoid then... I got burned at 6 months pregnant.
I‘d hate to go through all the therapy and waiting to learn to love again at this point... but we‘ll never find anyone if we don‘t let them in. Just don‘t forget the warnings or you feel as stupid as I do later.
thinking about changing my name to "forever pissed" :(
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 4/21/2010 4:31 AM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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| not pissed wrote: |
I waited till I thought I was ready to date again (6 years) and I believed I had found someone who I could trust... I never thought about checking the phone even though he spent a lot of time on it (he had facebook, myspace and text ability) Sometimes he‘d get text in the middle of the night and I assumed it was just the weird scheduled he worked... I tried really hard not to get paranoid then... I got burned at 6 months pregnant.
I‘d hate to go through all the therapy and waiting to learn to love again at this point... but we‘ll never find anyone if we don‘t let them in. Just don‘t forget the warnings or you feel as stupid as I do later.
thinking about changing my name to "forever pissed" :(
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NP, You are NOT stupid. Its not your fault that he can‘t be trusted. It‘s difficult to trust in the first place...I still have issues around trust, I‘m not sure I‘ll ever NOT have issues around trust. I think I‘ve learned something though (and maybe I‘m wrong here). The key is learning how to trust yourself, not the other person...knowing the difference between your gut instinct and paranoia....if you listen closely to your body and mind at these times, you‘ll get to know the differences between the two feelings...it also depends on your self-esteem. If you believe you truly deserve this persons love and undivided attention, then anything less than that will feel not right (instinct) and you‘ll get out. If even a tiny part of you doesn‘t feel you deserve to be loved and cherished by the other person...your paranoia will come to the fore and you‘ll get confused between paranoia and instinct...thats when it starts to get confusing and traumatic.
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 4/22/2010 9:26 AM |
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Subject: Why do Your Old Cheating Sorry Men screw you up for the Good Ones? |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 1027
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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| not pissed wrote: | I waited till I thought I was ready to date again (6 years) and I believed I had found someone who I could trust... I never thought about checking the phone even though he spent a lot of time on it (he had facebook, myspace and text ability) Sometimes he‘d get text in the middle of the night and I assumed it was just the weird scheduled he worked... I tried really hard not to get paranoid then... I got burned at 6 months pregnant.
I‘d hate to go through all the therapy and waiting to learn to love again at this point... but we‘ll never find anyone if we don‘t let them in. Just don‘t forget the warnings or you feel as stupid as I do later.
thinking about changing my name to "forever pissed" :(
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I am so so sorry that he did this to you. I thought everything was going well for you too.
I know it is hard. I haven‘t read anywhere else in this form about what happened. I was surprised to see this on here.
My husband cheated on me every time I was pregnant. It was like he knew I would stay, because I was pregnant and there fore dependant upon him. If I had to do it all over again....I would have left him while pregnant the first time. Saw him for a one night stand so that I could have my daughter, and then left him again. LOL
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