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MESSAGE
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| sinead03 |
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Posted: 1/22/2010 6:40 AM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 27
Total Posts: 1
cambridgshire
United Kingdom
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new at this but really need to know if i‘m being paranoid. soory if it seems long. been wit hubby 4 8yrs married 2. have a little girl and 1 on the way. bout2 months ago i went on our email site (which i dont use much) and saw a message for my hus from a dating site. i know he looks at porn alot but goes through phases of watching it, don‘t think nothing of that hes male. but this got me worried porn is one thing messages from dating sight r another so i read it and logged onto the site he had more on there from different women but nwhat really caught my attention was all the women he looked at were only from like 15 mile radiuos of where we live. tried to ignor it after that as think he knew i went on there i‘m not very comp savy. after bout 3-4 weeks checked on the site again didn‘t look any different from last time nothing had changed no mre girls profiles added or viewd. as i was going onto favorites i noticed history so i thught i would see what it was about, well that opened up a whole world i didn‘t know bout he had been on loads of dating sites as well as escort sites. so i went to the email acount and there were a few mess from diff sites but 2 mainly i went on theese sites and he has profiles and messages on them but never seems to have sent just read and viewd profiles of the ones he liked alot of which are ‘close by‘. sorry its long plz bear wit me! i‘ve figured out how to mark mess i‘ve looked at on email acc as unread and delete from history when i‘ve been on theese sites or our email acc hes still eading alot of mess and profiles and doesn‘t delete as many or leaves them unread on email but reads them on site. sure hes set up another email in hotail instead of yahoo but don‘t know the passw and can never get to look at his phone as it never leaves his side, but heseems to get more text than he used to. nearly finished! when i checked bank account online i noticed a purchase made in leeds which is near or over 3 hrs from us made, my hus travels for work but has never been that far he does all trav in one day plus this payment was over the xmas period in which he was off for just over 2 weeks. the date this came out coinsided with one girls mess on face book her profile not his but this is one of many woman he has added from nowhere and she lives bout 45 min from leeds she appologised to the bloke she was supposed to meet the other nite and the next day she is on his friends list. i‘m trying to act as normal as poss around him till i find concrete prof, but hes clever. and as you can prob tell it starting to drive me nuts. plz help.
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| shelbelle |
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Posted: 1/22/2010 7:48 AM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 23
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Total Posts: 1391
lalaland
North Carolina
United States
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| sinead03 wrote: | | new at this but really need to know if i‘m being paranoid. soory if it seems long. been wit hubby 4 8yrs married 2. have a little girl and 1 on the way. bout2 months ago i went on our email site (which i dont use much) and saw a message for my hus from a dating site. i know he looks at porn alot but goes through phases of watching it, don‘t think nothing of that hes male. but this got me worried porn is one thing messages from dating sight r another so i read it and logged onto the site he had more on there from different women but nwhat really caught my attention was all the women he looked at were only from like 15 mile radiuos of where we live. tried to ignor it after that as think he knew i went on there i‘m not very comp savy. after bout 3-4 weeks checked on the site again didn‘t look any different from last time nothing had changed no mre girls profiles added or viewd. as i was going onto favorites i noticed history so i thught i would see what it was about, well that opened up a whole world i didn‘t know bout he had been on loads of dating sites as well as escort sites. so i went to the email acount and there were a few mess from diff sites but 2 mainly i went on theese sites and he has profiles and messages on them but never seems to have sent just read and viewd profiles of the ones he liked alot of which are ‘close by‘. sorry its long plz bear wit me! i‘ve figured out how to mark mess i‘ve looked at on email acc as unread and delete from history when i‘ve been on theese sites or our email acc hes still eading alot of mess and profiles and doesn‘t delete as many or leaves them unread on email but reads them on site. sure hes set up another email in hotail instead of yahoo but don‘t know the passw and can never get to look at his phone as it never leaves his side, but heseems to get more text than he used to. nearly finished! when i checked bank account online i noticed a purchase made in leeds which is near or over 3 hrs from us made, my hus travels for work but has never been that far he does all trav in one day plus this payment was over the xmas period in which he was off for just over 2 weeks. the date this came out coinsided with one girls mess on face book her profile not his but this is one of many woman he has added from nowhere and she lives bout 45 min from leeds she appologised to the bloke she was supposed to meet the other nite and the next day she is on his friends list. i‘m trying to act as normal as poss around him till i find concrete prof, but hes clever. and as you can prob tell it starting to drive me nuts. plz help. |
sinead...i cant say 100% that he is cheating. it would be very disturbing to me if I had a husband that was doing that. i gues what made me think is that it seems like the trust in your relationship isnt very good right now because of all of this.
to me it all the things you said he was doing would lead me to think that if he isnt cheating that maybe he is close to it.
he would probably be upset if he found you snooping but if him being upset is okay then i would talk with him about what you found out and ask him to help you understand what is going on with all that and what is going on with your relationship.
just my thoughts.
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 1/22/2010 3:50 PM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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Sinead...I think he‘s cheating, if not, he‘s considering it and thats just as bad. You need to start printing off this stuff and then confront him with it. Has he ever been violent towards you? If so you might consider confronting him with the child out of the houseand a confidante close by for protection.
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| little_sassy |
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Posted: 1/23/2010 10:03 AM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 30
Total Posts: 542
Somewhere
Arkansas
United States
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 Sorry I think he is cheating too!!
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| overandout |
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Posted: 1/25/2010 2:32 AM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 61
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Total Posts: 111
spokane
Washington
United States
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doesn‘t sound good, does it? if you find you are correct, what will you do? will you stay with him? divorce? you need to begin thinking of the next chapter. I would do some serious thinking and snooping before I said anything.
who pays the bills? do you see everything that goes in and out, money-wise? if not, i would start getting involved in that. is everything you own in both names?
you have time. you suspect him and wonder. sadly, once that happens, we usually learn we were right.
get your ducks in a row. stop and think. don‘t just react. and get whatever info you need to have.
you are in the right place to talk. we‘ve all been there. sad club at first but the women here are wonderfully supportive.
good luck.
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| Kerry Gearin |
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Posted: 2/14/2010 3:31 PM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 21
Total Posts: 3
Toronto
Canada
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Hi Sinead 03,
Wow, that must really hurt. The behaviour you describe, "as is" is cheating.
I think you may feel differntly after you give birth if you think about it. In the meantime maybe you can talk to a woman‘s hotline or a doctor about protecting yourself from sexually transmitted disease. If he has not already done something, then you are just being proactive, because like you say he is looking for women nearby. So at minimum his intention is showing.
If you take steps to keep yourself safe from harm now, including the possibility of him raging ( I don‘t know him, so you might need to consider how he would react if you "change the game" and behave differently to keep yourself heatlhy).
Some women have not kept themselves healthy by being proactive, then later when they leave the cheater and meet someone sweet and fantastic, they wish they did.
Please put you first. Doing so is the same as putting your children first because no child wants their Mommy to be hurt in any way, especially a significant way like cheating or other abuse.
Wishing you and your little ones the best,
Kerry
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/18/2010 10:21 PM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 431
Where I live
Texas
United States
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Buy a keylogger mamita.... you will be able to see what he types and get his passwords. It records every key he presses and some even take pictures of whatever is on the screen every so often (like every 3 minutes).
I think he‘s cheating though. Get proof first so he can‘t talk you into believing that you are crazy or that you are just hormonal and paranoid. Make sure you are using protection if you are still having sex... If you need an excuse because you never use protection make something up. Say the doctor advised it or something because you are pregnant and your cervix is sensitive right now.. just something to stall while you figure this out.
If it barks like a dog and acts like a dog....you know it‘s probably a dog. 
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| solo1401 |
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Posted: 2/19/2010 8:22 PM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 30
Total Posts: 1
tobaccoville
North Carolina
United States
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I am going through the same thing but luckily i found a program called webwatcher that is invisible on ur pc, and it records EVERYTHING! which is good and bad, u will be able to get his passwords and user names to all his websites he visits, that might be handy to help futher your investigation. Sweety it sounds like he isplaning on it if not already), check into the program it has/still is working for me and i have to be honest. if you go on there and find out this stuff, it will hurt. good luck lady
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| malarkey marie |
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Posted: 2/23/2010 3:53 PM |
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Subject: plz help, is he cheating |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 500
Total Posts: 804
Vatican city
Finland
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say nothing. to anyone. snoop. snoop. snoop.
start looking into all your finances and photo copy everything you find. then but the papers back where you found them.
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