| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 1/12/2010 4:46 AM |
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Subject: Husband had an affair and now everyone says she‘s pregnant |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
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Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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| lostwife wrote: |
| Miss Luvly1 wrote: | I read through your posts and I understand your pain. Kaylar‘s replies were all right on the money (except leaving your son in an institution, here in the states that is not a good thing, in Jamaica that is a smaller community with some really great people I might add) . You need to file for child support immediately! Here is why. If she has that baby before you do and files for child support SHE will get the first support taken out of his checks. If you file afterwards, your case is only considered the second and you get the left overs. You will get less than her EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE THE WIFE. Whomever files first is what matters. Dumb, I know but I think it is important for you to know why you should move on with a divorce quickly. Otherwise because the two of you are married, you may also be responsible for her child. You cannot afford financially at this point to not see an attorney. Drain his bank account, and hire one. Let him worry about the bills. He brought this one on himself. He has been playing you. My husband told me the story on how his ex-wife cheated on him too. Seven years later I meet her sister...it was him that cheated on her. In fact that was why he lost his job. He cheated with a married woman and he was the corporate trainer. Now...it all adds up. My husband lied to me and told me it wasn‘t true. Then because I believed all the crap he was feeding me he didn‘t respect me and became abusive. GET OUT and be mean about it. Find another place to live away from what is going on so that you can be calm for your son and have some sanity. You should also let your husband be the good daddy. He can take his son a couple of nights a week. Let the slut listen to him scream. That should be romantic. :) See, right now he has the best of both worlds. He doesn‘t have to do any of the work, or take on any of the responsibilities. It‘s time you gave HIM something to worry about. Good Luck! MissL |
I never thought about it in that aspect of letting him and her deal with the screams etc. I guess I‘m just selfish and I don‘t want her around my son. Plus she has no clue how to handle a special needs child and I‘m afraid that she would maybe not knowing but make a bad situation on handling our son. See i know that my husband will NOT allow anyone to yell at our son etc because we DON‘T because he‘s special needs and he doesn‘t understand the anger or upset part of why he‘s being yelled at he just gets scared and screams and screams. So i‘ve just been afraid to let him leave here with his daddy cuz i fear that she won‘t be able to handle it and my son be the one to be all upset and confussed. Since he‘s living there basicly all his **** is here. I‘m telling him that he needs to either get his own place or go to his parent‘s house fri through sun and spend the weekends with his son. Everyone says maybe you should let your husband stay at your house and you leave for the weekend....I would if i could trust that SHE wouldn‘t be in my home. Yet I can‘t trust that one. Every time he and I are talking and it leads up to US he walks out the door and now it‘s to the point where we don‘t talk about anything but our son and he will NOT call me back or text me back when i call or text him. I‘m over it all and to the point where i could care less what he does. I have to find a way to move on without him and live life for me and my son.
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You are already finding a way to moving on. It won‘t happen overnight, you take small baby-steps and you recognise that from moment to moment, from day to day you will go from feeling like you love him and want him back to feeling like you want to move on. Its exactly the same as breaking any other addiction, so remember its going to take time. If you can keep contact with your ex to a minimum and converse ONLY about the child and be really strict with yourself then you will find your confidence and self-esteem will start to rise, what you are trying to do is take back control of your life, up to now him, his drama and the pain he has caused has been controlling you, time to say STOP, take back the headspace, start thinking of the positive opportunities this gives you, make a list of things you want to do (no matter how out of reach they may seem now).
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