WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S ONLY FORUM / advise

I am so sorry you are going through this.  It does not matter what we think.  What do you think?  Is this his first affair?  Is he truly sorry?  Is this a deal breaker for you? 

You have every right to feel upset.  I remember those feelings well and it‘s been 4 years ago about this time of year too.  Don‘t be surprised if he buys some extravagent jewelery for you this year. 

It‘s always a blind sided blow to find out something like this.  I felt like I didn‘t know my husband at all, that I was living in a different world than he was.

Please give yourself time to figure out your feelings.  If he is truly repentive he will do whatever is neccessary to fix this.  Make sure you ask all the questions you need to and that he anwers honestly.  Something like this can not be swept under the rug.  This will affect the rest of your relationship with him, together or not.

i feel how it is tobe in your shoes, it is very hard to handle it. I believe members here give good advice.

at the end, you will make the choice for your life, sometime couples recover and move on great.... if your partner is willing to work on it and put a end and i hope he does not have any other record of cheating.. it depends how you feel and think about it and have good conversation with him and try to find out everything in a honest way.

i really wish you a happier holiday season with love.

peace

summer

liarliar wrote:

supposedly they were not girls friend only sex partners

And that’s suppose to make it better?  I think not!  What a jerk.  He is not feeling remorseful I gather?

I felt so embarrassed and I did not want anyone to know.  That is a normal feeling.  But after a while I thought, why be embarrassed, I didn’t do anything wrong.  I told people what was happening and it was a blessing.  I got so much support.  Don’t be afraid to talk to your friends and family.

I also blamed myself, which I believe most women do for some stupid reason.  Stop blaming yourself.  He chose to have an affair, let him suffer the consequences.  You did nothing wrong.

Not all of us left, by the way.

liarliar wrote:

liarliar wrote: Soooo Heart broken , 23 years married found out three days ago he was cheating didn‘t think he could do that to me. Sounds like something every one here thinks. Any suggestions on what to think about all of this. But of course he‘s sorry. It will never happen again. So depressed and sick i dont want to do anything work, Christmas, talk to family, nothing? Anyone got anything? This has been going on now for 6 months i knew something was up but not this.WHY WHY WHY? the kids are grown.both boys. probably would be mad @ their dad.I‘m sorry to who every has to have this pain its the worst. sounds like most of you left. supposedly they were not girls friend only sex partners

I stayed.  Only because it was an online affair.  Lasted a year and half.  Still hurt like hell to read the love letters, find the dirty pictures and digest the phone sex. 

You can talk to us.  You are amongst many who have "been there". 

Welcome to womansavers!

I am sorry that this happened to you.  You are surrounded by people that understand your pain.

For me  I caught him within a week of the affair.  We tried to work it out and it didn‘t work.  I asked him to leave and he did.  I was married for 20 years most of those years were great.  It was like losing my Best Friend.  But then I realized that if he really wanted to be married to me,  he would have made me happy,  he wouldn‘t have continued to lie to me.  That was my breaking point.  I kept finding out more things that were lies. He didn‘t come clean.  He is a terrible liar and I am good at finding mistakes in his stories.

We have been totally split up for over 2 years,  I have never been happier!

Learn to love yourself again! 

Stay or leave  you need to feel good about yourself!  The wonderful ladies here and a few men  helpped me thru the hardest time of my life!

I down loaded Pandora PC.  It records screen shots and keystrokes.  I still check up on my H.  I forgave, but I have NOT forgotten!!

If I ever catch him doing something like that again I will have him strung by his nuts so fast his head will spin.

Sad thing is our relationships will never be the same as they were before.  It sucks to be suspicious and guarded.  Like I said before beat the answers out of him you need.  If you don‘t you will always wonder and it‘s like beating a dead horse over and over and will cause friction down the road.

Why am I not surprised that your Christmas gift was glittery??

p.s. start snooping around for every financial piece of paper you can find. take them and hide them or take them and copy them and hide the copies.

sometimes men in affairs use marital assets to pay for their fun.