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simpleyetcomplex
  Posted: 10/24/2009 11:19 AM Subject: Will I ever be able to trust what a man says again?
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After this last one, the spiritual, love love love guru and what he turned out to be.. all about himself and money and his family and little about me while he lived off my property and my giving.... I don‘t know any longer, if there is a man able to love and to tell the truth of who that he is and to be in a close intimate relationship without the con.

I did listen to my instincts and I didn‘t get too close in that I was always watching him and waiting to see.. Had I listened to him,  I wouldn‘t married him in the first three months.. He was pushing for marriage... pushing pushing pushing.. and he had nothing to offer me... but his dreams, hopes and contrived ideas of his future and none of it happened.. none of his business deals came through...

I am glad that he is gone.. I am open now for a real life with a future.. with a man.. but will I ever be able to trust one?



shally
  Posted: 10/24/2009 2:59 PM Subject: Will I ever be able to trust what a man says again?
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When you think about it there is a man out there somewhere asking himself the same thing. Will I ever find a trustworthy woman.

I think because of a few a$$holes, men in general have gotten such a bad rap. Yes there are men out there worthy of our trust. Wonderful lovely caring men. Ones that will adore and cherish your love. The secret is to never settle - which is what we do sometimes then we kick ourselves for doing it.We so want a love that we think the red flags we spot are ones that we can fix -  though the woman before us couldn‘t we in our ‘specialness‘ are gonna be the one that fixes them. Such silly notions we have when it comes to matters of the heart.




simpleyetcomplex
  Posted: 10/24/2009 4:04 PM Subject: Will I ever be able to trust what a man says again?
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I just didn‘t listen to my instincts in the beginning, I was preocupied and I hurt myself.. and now, I am lonely... It is very strange..

 

But he said many of the right things.. to hook me in.... he literally HOOKED ME... like a frigging fish... then let me go (turned on me) when I confronted him and or didn‘t do just what he thought was ‘perfect‘ for him.



shally
  Posted: 10/24/2009 10:22 PM Subject: Will I ever be able to trust what a man says again?
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Kick yourself once and only once. Do NOT under any circumstances beat yourself up for this. EVER! Never punish yourself for seeking love.

The loneliness will pass in time the more you turn more to YOU for your needs. Love you, be happy with you. Ask yourself what you want and need and give it to yourself. You don‘t need another person to feel loved or whole. You do need you and your acceptance of yourself. Men are a want, we don‘t need them,we desire them. when we turn a ‘want‘ -  such as a man, into a need, there‘s where the problems begin.

I feel your pain and I am so sorry you are hurting. I haven‘t read all of your posts, nor do I know your story. But I will. And I welcome you here. I am really sorry for what has brought you here but so very glad you are here. We have a great group of women here, so willing to help. We have been there done that and got the metal. We are all at different stages and that makes it really nice. Truly one thing we all know is pain and you don‘t have to go thru this alone. I hope you choose to continue posting and allowing us to get to know you.


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