WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S ONLY FORUM / Need advice.

Hey girls, I need some advice. I’m asking here because I can’t ask anyone I know in real life right now.

Hubby and I have been arguing a lot lately. We’ve always been arguers but it seems like it’s gotten to the point where we have a major blow up a day about stupid stuff. I am so tired of it. He treats me like I’m a child when he tells me stuff he wants me to do or asks me 15 times if I’ve done whatever it is that he wants me to do. Everyday he gets up, gets himself ready and goes to work. I get up, get ready, get the boys fed and dressed, make hubby’s lunch, my lunch and the boys lunch, take them to school, go to work, pick them up from school, go home and fix dinner or pick something up. Put the boys to bed and do baths on bath night. This morning he wanted to give me something to mail for him today as I was in the middle of the morning routine and I set it down in a chair. Then five minutes later he’s asking me about it and I pointed to where it was and said that I was busy (maybe in a sh***y tone, I don’t remember) and he’s all, “stop talking you’re being a b***h.”

I said whatever and finished getting us ready. He kissed the kids bye and told me bye, refused to kiss me and went out. He comes back in in a couple of minutes to take the dog out and says bye again. I told him bye and he gets pissed that I wouldn’t go give him a kiss but I told him that he refused to kiss me so he was out of luck.

He also said before he left the first time that he’s tired of this and he may not be back tonight and told the boys that he’s see them tomorrow (he is usually gone tonight with friends anyway and doesn’t see them until tomorrow). I told him fine. It’s not the first time he’s threatened not coming back and I’ve always been the one to insist that he does or if he actually drives away mad, I call to make sure he’s ok and if he’s coming home. I feel like all I’m doing is encouraging this behavior and at this point I don’t even know if I want him to come home. I am glad for nights like tonight when he’s gone and I have the house to myself once the boys are in bed. I can sit and watch tv without comments being made. I don’t have to worry about thinking that I’m tired without hearing that I shouldn’t be tired because all I do is look at a computer screen all day and don’t have the stressful job he has.

I’m just getting sick of dealing with him at all. My question is, what do you all think I should do? Should I ask him about considering counseling? I don’t even know if I want to mess with it. Should I just tell him it’s over? I’m so stressed and worried I just don’t know what to do and I don’t want to ask friends who know us or family and have to deal with them as well. I just want some freaking peace.

Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading. I just needed to get it out before I exploded.

I would definitely suggest counseling.  If he is not willing to go, then you go so you can get clarity on what you want in this marriage.  It sounds like there is no communication between you and him whatsoever.  The name calling is unacceptable and disrespectful.  He also needs to step up and help you with the boys, dinner, and errands.  He can make his own lunch.  Unfortunately, you probably did all these things from the beginning and he just accepts that you will continue.

Sounds like you two need a time out.  Nothing like the same ol day in and day out routine to grind away at a relationship. 

Do you have a date night?  Or is he the only one that gets a night off every week?  Maybe YOU need a girls night and not come home??  (He‘d freak!)

Sounds like you two need to put some effort into your relationship, not just work and the kids.  First thing is though, that he is not to call you names, especially in front of the children (nice role model there dad!)

Working full time and raising a family takes the glamour right out of a marriage.  It makes it worse if only one is doing the majority of the household/children duties.  We need to make sure that we are taking of ourselves, not just others. 

I suggest sitting him down and telling him how you feel.  If that doesn‘t work.............do like I do...........Kick Him!!  It‘s a figure of speech but it works. 

I don’t even know if I want him to come home. I am glad for nights like tonight when he’s gone and I have the house to myself once the boys are in bed. I can sit and watch tv without comments being made.

begining of the end.