| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
|
| spycat |
 |
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:35 AM |
 |
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 100
.gif)
Total Posts: 109
Somewhere
Bahamas
offline
Invite To Chat Room
 Send Note
|
I don‘t know if anyone remembers me, but finally after two years, I got the strength to leave my husband. It was the final straw basically, he attacked me for the last time. Not only emotionally, but physically. He tried to brake my arm and threw me out of the apartment so bad, it left many bruises and scratches. He yelled so loud in my ear, pinning me down, I still can barely hear out of it. I had him put in jail. He is out on bond now, but I went to court and had a restraining order placed on him and he has been banned from my work, if he is on site he will be arrested and taken to jail. They were on my side. He was ordered to take anger management classes, drug/alcohol abuse classes, etc. He was told to get a lawyer for our next court date when I press charges. I am moving into a low income apartment next week. I am in the apartment now, so I will be able to move everything out. We own no property together and no children, so it will go smoothly. I am just on an emotional roller coaster. He tried texting and calling many times after he got out of jail, telling me I had no right to press charges. That he did nothing wrong.... he had me so controlled in every aspect possible, it was so hard to take this step. Did I do the right thing? I am so lost and alone right now.
|
| uberbeotch |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:31 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 467
.gif)
Total Posts: 1138
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Hi Spycat!
I remember you & YES! YOU DID THE RIGHT THING! YEAH!
I am so sorry that he did all that to you, but I am so PROUD of you for standing up for yourself & getting OUT of that hell-hole of a relationship! You are now on the road to a better life!
For now, record every harrassing phone call, and save all texts and emails he sends you (print those). You will need them as evidence against him for when you go to court. Get a good lawyer. Don‘t back down!
Thank God you have no children or property to haggle over. You can make a clean break from him.
Please don‘t listen to what he says. Right now, he‘s trying to deflect the blame onto you. Pretty soon, he‘ll be doing the "I‘m sorry, I‘ve changed let‘s kiss & make up" dance. DON‘T FALL FOR IT! They might have regrets, but they don‘t change. They don‘t get better.
Normally I‘d recommend blocking his phone numbers, but I think you‘ll need evidence of his harrassment, so keep what you have for now. If you can afford it, you might want to get a new cel phone with an unlisted # and set up a new free email acct. (Yahoo or Hotmail, etc.) for regular use. DON‘T give him that info - only good friends & family - those you can trust.
Have no regrets, my dear. You have done the right thing, and it was very hard, but YOU DID IT! Please keep posting here & sharing your story. Other women need to hear about how you broke free of a tyrant.
UB
|
| Momof4 |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:54 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3526
shiiteing in the sand in
Iraq
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
I‘m SO Happy for you and pretty darned proud too!! He abused you for so long!
YAY for you!!!
and 
|
| 2mom72 |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 1:40 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 35
Total Posts: 119
The Boonies
Missouri
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
YES, I remember you too!! Congratulations on getting out and taking a stand!!!
We need to have a party!!! Now, where are those dancing bananas????
Keep us updated and .gif) in court!
|
| yasmina |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 2:14 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
.jpg&w=100)
Total Posts: 1160
Copenhagen
Denmark
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Hi Spycat!
I remember you! Wow, thats amazing! I´m so proud of you And you should be proud of yourself-you have really come a long way. All of these things you have done for yourself-I wish you could see just how strong you are (even though you might not feel it) Of course you did the right thing!!! How could you ever doubt that?? AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We are here for you .
Yasmina
|
| Tiredmomma |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 3:33 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 38
Total Posts: 1922
Right over here
Texas
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
WTG Spycat! 
As much as it sucks now, it will get better. YOU did good! And yes, I think you did the right thing too.
Don‘t DROP the charges
Don‘t TALK to him
Don‘t TEXT/E-mail him.
Totally and absolutely ignore him. Talk to your lawyer and see if this can‘t help speed up the divorce.
TM
|
| spycat |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:02 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 100
Total Posts: 109
Somewhere
Bahamas
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
I am so happy everyone remembers me! I know I vanished for a while, I was being so controlled by him I couldn‘t even visit my message boards. He would always tell me articles were stupid and that everyone I talk too, don‘t know what they are talking about. Now I know he was only doing that to isolate me from the truth.
He came over today with a police officer to take his clothes and work items - he started to take pictures of everything and proceeded to tell me if I took anything out, he would sue me. That he will be taking everything. Everything in our apartment - I bought, most before our marriage but I have no receipts. That was my fault. So I have learned my lessons and will keep receipts in the future and not marry such a loser. Tried to convince me that I could not take anything, but I know that he can‘t do that. That it will be settled in court.
He then proceeded to bash me, said he did nothing wrong, that he "genlty escorted me out of the apartment" and that the bruises and scratches I have, he stated I self inflicted to get back at him and that he will be countering me in court with that. It was such bull! Then told me he knows I was having an affair with a co-worker, more bull, considering I am the one who caught him! Found flirtarious emails between him and his co-workers and condoms in the apartment when we never used them! Then told me my boss told him where I was going to live. Which made me really mad that my work turned on me. And of course, that he paid for everything, when I was the one who sold all my stuff for him and had to pay all the bills because he was spending money on girls and drugs. I just couldn‘t believe all the bull.
I remember even finding drugs in the house, and he is sitting their saying he never does drugs. But I have emails stating he does, so I will be sure to keep everything for court! And even worse, at one point, said it was mine. Like a time I found Marijuana... and he tried to claim it was mine, but he is so stupid, because I am severely allergic to it.
But thank you so much girls. I will stay strong! I have learned to be my own person. Through help her, friends and family, and reading articles, and looking back at all what he did, how he really hurt me, that I had to get out before I enter a hospital or loose myself. I am sure a lot of you know how HARD it is to leave and the emotional fall you go through. I broke down many times but in the end, I keep telling myself it is NOT my fault. He brought this upon himself and he needs to get help without me there. That I do not deserve to go through it. That it will only get worse. That I was enabling him to do all these things, because I never took action and once you do that, the person becomes comfortable with what they do because they know you will take it. By doing this, I finally shown, he no longer has the power.
I will keep everyone up to date! I am going tomorrow to get the apartment and I have already started packing. I will make another post once I got everything moved in and let everyone know how it turns out in the end.
AGAIN THANK YOU!! You don‘t know how much it means to me, to have everyone‘s support. *HUGS*
|
| supermom21664 |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:05 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 44
Total Posts: 989
Lumberton
Texas
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Hi Spycat!! Sounds like great things are comig your way!
|
| CaliforniaGirl |
|
|
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:47 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
Total Posts: 1260
San Jose
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Spycat, I remember you. Hell yes you did the right thing! You are very brave and a very strong woman. Doesn’t your restraining order include that he cannot contact you in anyway? No phone calls, e-mails, texting? If so, I would call the police because he can get arrested for that. Keep copies of all messages and record all phone calls. Ignore all his pleas of he did nothing wrong. They all say that and, of course, it is all your fault. Coward that he is.
You have a new life ahead of you. How exciting!
|
| shally |
|
|
Posted: 8/30/2008 6:10 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
Total Posts: 7702
sittin' pretty on
Isle of Man
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Hi spycat! Wow you finally did it! Good for you! I‘m so glad you‘re back and posting!
|
| kimmy26 |
|
|
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:23 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 26
Total Posts: 21
columbus
Georgia
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
good for you. as time goes by you will feel alot better and more confident that you did the right thing.
|
| Kc Ocevissam |
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:50 AM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 48
Total Posts: 3
New York
New York
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Hell yeah my nigga! Now all you need is a fat blunt of the finest green and some hot jams.
|
| Momof4 |
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:52 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3526
shiiteing in the sand in
Iraq
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| Kc Ocevissam wrote: | |
Hell yeah my nigga! Now all you need is a fat blunt of the finest green and some hot jams.
|
Huh?
|
| uberbeotch |
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:59 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 467
Total Posts: 1138
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| Momof4Crabs wrote: |
| Kc Ocevissam wrote: |
| Hell yeah my nigga! Now all you need is a fat blunt of the finest green and some hot jams. |
Huh? |
A nice joint of some fine weed & some good music!
Sign me up!
UB
|
| Momof4 |
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:39 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3526
shiiteing in the sand in
Iraq
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| uberbeotch wrote: |
| Momof4Crabs wrote: | | Kc Ocevissam wrote: | | Hell yeah my nigga! Now all you need is a fat blunt of the finest green and some hot jams. |
Huh? |
A nice joint of some fine weed & some good music! Sign me up! UB
|
Jeez, thanks for the translation.
I was thinking Strawberry or blueberry jam?
Stick around Ubes-I may need some more help trying to understand the little boys. Very little.
|
| sunny fl |
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2008 3:37 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 42
Total Posts: 4143
tireofhisshit
Maine
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| spycat wrote: |
I don‘t know if anyone remembers me, but finally after two years, I got the strength to leave my husband. It was the final straw basically, he attacked me for the last time. Not only emotionally, but physically. He tried to brake my arm and threw me out of the apartment so bad, it left many bruises and scratches. He yelled so loud in my ear, pinning me down, I still can barely hear out of it. I had him put in jail. He is out on bond now, but I went to court and had a restraining order placed on him and he has been banned from my work, if he is on site he will be arrested and taken to jail. They were on my side. He was ordered to take anger management classes, drug/alcohol abuse classes, etc. He was told to get a lawyer for our next court date when I press charges. I am moving into a low income apartment next week. I am in the apartment now, so I will be able to move everything out. We own no property together and no children, so it will go smoothly. I am just on an emotional roller coaster. He tried texting and calling many times after he got out of jail, telling me I had no right to press charges. That he did nothing wrong.... he had me so controlled in every aspect possible, it was so hard to take this step. Did I do the right thing? I am so lost and alone right now.
|
hey spycat!!!
I am glad you are now safe!!!
It gets better, give it time!!
Everytime you want to go back take a few days to think about why you left! Everytime you want to call, wait an hour by then you will remember why you left!!!
hang in there!!!!
|
| tula1969 |
|
|
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:34 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 750
Under an UMBRELLA, England
Wake Island
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| spycat wrote: |
I don‘t know if anyone remembers me, but finally after two years, I got the strength to leave my husband. It was the final straw basically, he attacked me for the last time. Not only emotionally, but physically. He tried to brake my arm and threw me out of the apartment so bad, it left many bruises and scratches. He yelled so loud in my ear, pinning me down, I still can barely hear out of it. I had him put in jail. He is out on bond now, but I went to court and had a restraining order placed on him and he has been banned from my work, if he is on site he will be arrested and taken to jail. They were on my side. He was ordered to take anger management classes, drug/alcohol abuse classes, etc. He was told to get a lawyer for our next court date when I press charges. I am moving into a low income apartment next week. I am in the apartment now, so I will be able to move everything out. We own no property together and no children, so it will go smoothly. I am just on an emotional roller coaster. He tried texting and calling many times after he got out of jail, telling me I had no right to press charges. That he did nothing wrong.... he had me so controlled in every aspect possible, it was so hard to take this step. Did I do the right thing? I am so lost and alone right now.
|
Spycat
Never doubt that you did the right thing. YOU DID!
Low rent apartment, no big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Took back your self respect, pride and dignity = PRICELESS!!
Made sure that your personal welfare, happiness and safety counts = PRICELESS!!
It will be hard and as you describe, an emotional rollercoaster, BUT its do-able. The day has to come for all of us when the reality sinks in. They dont change Spycat, its us that has to do the changing. When we continue to forgive them, all we ever really do is actually re-inforce their abusive behaviours. Madness but part of being in an abusive relationship until that day when we know we can no longer take any more SHIT, physically, emotionally or mentally.
Stick fast to the future you have ahead of you. It may get tough but we are all here for you.
Fair play to you!! :)
T 
|
| tula1969 |
|
|
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:35 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 39
Total Posts: 750
Under an UMBRELLA, England
Wake Island
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| Big_HungDaddy wrote: | | He should have broken your arm, I woulds if you overcooked my eggs. |
Do they wire jaws in Alabama???
|
| uberbeotch |
|
|
Posted: 9/1/2008 3:33 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 467
Total Posts: 1138
In a Dark Castle
Belarus
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| Momof4Crabs wrote: |
| Jeez, thanks for the translation.
I was thinking Strawberry or blueberry jam?
Stick around Ubes-I may need some more help trying to understand the little boys. Very little. |
See - I actually LEARN things like Urban Lingo from my teenage students!
That‘s SICK!
UB
p.s. "sick" syn. of "tight" or "dope" - meaning "good" or "cool". I know....weird, huh?
|
| Momof4 |
|
|
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:34 PM |
|
Subject: HE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
Total Posts: 3526
shiiteing in the sand in
Iraq
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| uberbeotch wrote: |
| Momof4Crabs wrote: | | Jeez, thanks for the translation.
I was thinking Strawberry or blueberry jam?
Stick around Ubes-I may need some more help trying to understand the little boys. Very little. |
See - I actually LEARN things like Urban Lingo from my teenage students! That‘s SICK! UB p.s. "sick" syn. of "tight" or "dope" - meaning "good" or "cool". I know....weird, huh?
|
I can‘t keep up. When can one say "groovy" and ‘dig"? Is that no longer "hip"?
If I wait, it‘ll come back. I just know it will.
|