WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S ONLY FORUM / Sad today

I‘m sorry you are feeling so sad, but this is OK. You  are processing your emotions...you are analyzing them well too. You know why you are sad, and you are letting those feelings move through you until they pass.

We can‘t help but grieve for what we thought we had, but didn‘t. We can‘t help but grieve that sick, evil people exist in the world, and we were taken in by them. We can‘t help but grieve for the lost time, opportunities, etc. We grieve because we are mourning the illusion of what we thought we had.

I‘ve felt the same way as you. It hurts...it IS sad...but it passes. You are doing well by getting it out.

You‘re goning to be OK!

UB

UB!!

I would like to add here that those feelings are awful. I hear you and feel for you. Sadness is always the one that also has an effect on how we think and what we do. Feeling the pain and sadness influences negative thoughts and not much positive activity. It certainly did for me.

I remember my counsellor telling me to imagine a huge mansion full of numerous rooms, everytime I was telling her I felt sad, sick, hurt and could see no way to go on or move forward. The end at these times was NEVER in sight for me.

She said to visualize that I was in the sad "room" and to try to remember other times in my life when I had also been in this "room". I could do that when I looked back. Then she told me I had to get brave and know that I HAD been in this room before BUT I hadn‘t stayed in it forever. I had actually been in other "rooms" that were happy, exciting, hopeful etc etc. It sure helped me to just think about this, It was like it gave me the strength I needed to accept at that time that I was feeling so sad and distraught BUT that I wouldnt be feeling (or in that room) that way forever. That it would eventually, when the time was right, pass!!

Hang on in there girlie. We are all here for you.

T

ub  said it so well!!

I have sad days too,  I know I dont want that SOB back  but I still hate what he did! 

We need to make new plans,  have new dreams and hopes  that dont include asshole cheaters!!

Nummm,

I could really relate to your post and all of the replies.  It has been about a month today, and I listened to one of "his" CDs and I didn‘t cry.  I think that signifies progress.

I really would like to quote almost everything everyone said including you.  I‘ve been angry because another man lied to me and I didn‘t pick up the clues; I‘ve been grieving the lost time and money; I have been disappointed in myself and sad about losing the friend I thought I had, but didn‘t.

I think the recovery has been helped most by No Contact, even if initiated because of his vacation and his final words almost a week ago, "let me call you back."  Another lie.

Hearing his voice brought back memories of the good.  Without it I have focused on the lies and deception.  I‘ve reread the emails to the "love of his life" and the lies he told  her about me.  I read about the disrespectful way they discussed me baed on those lies.

So, it does get better.  I know I‘ll probably regress, but I‘ll be right back here looking for support from my new friends.

Good luck.