WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S ONLY FORUM / i need help...

I pretty sure my husband is cheating on me or is seriously thinking about it, here are some signs that he is showing and i don‘t know if i‘m being paranoid or not:

he is on the internet whenever he is home from work or school, and while he is on it he turns the laptop away from my view.

he complained about not having sex as much has he wanted to, so we started having sex more often, but now he doesn‘t want it and doesn‘t like it when i try to touch him and be more phyiscal, he just pushes me away or complains he isn‘t in the mood or he doesn‘t feel well, we haven‘t had sex in almost 2 weeks and its getting worse each time i hug or try to kiss him.

he is always with his friends whenever he is off work or school, surfing, drinking and flirting, how i know he is drinking and flirting is because one of my close friends warned me about what was going on when i wasn‘t around.he calls me a b**** behind my back to his friends and how he wished he hadn‘t gotten married when he did, he has said he wished it was over around his friends.

he isn‘t ever happy around me anymore, he isn‘t loving and caring anymore either.

what do i do? i‘m having are first child in 5 months and he doesn‘t seem to care about are upcoming baby anymore...

First of all, I am glad you found this site because you are dealing with allot right now and you will find support here.

I don‘t know what to tell you other than go with your gut feeling.  You know something is up even if he will not admit it.  Take emotion out of it and begin thinking about what you would need to do if he left or if you asked for a divorce.  Try to squirrel away a little money.  Do you work and have your own insurance and income?  If you do, then you will not be so dependent on him financially.  Do you have somewhere to go if you needed to leave suddenly?

There is a good book I read years ago when I wanted to save my marriage.  It is by Dr. Dobson and it is called "Love Must be Tough".  I may not get the entire message right but basically it tells you the way to get him to pay attention to you is to back away from him and not make him the sole focal point of your life.  You tell him what you want and need from the marriage, let him decide what he will do and then go from there.  No begging or pleading or accepting any of his bad behavior.  He either choses to be a husband and father to you and your child or he doesn‘t.  If he choses to continue to misbehave then he has to move out and be on his own and accept the consequences of HIS decision.

You really don‘t have proof of any affair or other woman right now.  If you go digging for proof, do so quietly and do not confront him right away.  If he knows you are onto him, then he will be even more sneaky and therefore harder to catch.

I do not envy you at all and right now the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself and that baby.  Make sure you have someone to talk to about all this and surround yourself with friends and family who love and support you.

I wish you luck.  I am sure the others here will give you excellent advice.

SAM

  you didnt do anything!  this is all him!

I am sorry you are in pain,  please make sure that you take care of yourself and the baby.

He is selfish and immature. Start preparing for you and your baby to have a positvie future. Go to school and do some serious planning. You will be fine. Better to deal with him now (than after you third child). Many men want a permanent "playmate" but at the first real sign of responsibility they get afraid and want to "run". He is probably worried about being a father and caring for a "family". Whatever the reason, now you know how he feels and how he is behaving. Look out for yourself and your baby.

Prepare for a better future! Stay strong and have confidence. Life goes on and can get and be better if you control yourself and the situation. Be Blessed!.