WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S HEALTH AND SEX ISSUES / can never be spontaneous

I‘ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now.  In the beginning of our relationship he let it be known to me that I was not allowed to touch him sexually until he was ready to have me touch him.  He refused to allow me to by pushing my hands away and has used a few reasons why.  At first it was body language that I picked up on,,,,,,no questions asked. As time went on, he told me I was not allowed to touch him because he has staples down there and they hurt. He also refuses me on any sexual advances unless it is his idea and completely controlled by him.  He always insists on the same pattern of sexual contact with no variety.  He does pleasure me but always moves on to pleasure himself instead of mutual sexual contact.  I feel like he does not really need me as a women. Taking so long to warm up to me makes question his sexual preference.  Not allowing me to touch him unless on his terms makes me think he is passive aggressive and controlling.  Whats up with no variety.  He says the only way he can get off is when he does it himself.   I‘m confused.  We have gone to therapy and they said he was narcissistic and I was codependent.

I am sorry to say but if going and talking to someone has not helped any.I would end the realationship.

he is controling and has not changed in two years.chances are he wont.

I hope you dont plan on marrying this man.

OMG...I REALLY hope I‘m wrong about this one....but is he really a man? And not a woman with a strap on or something?

Staples? WTF? That‘s pretty suspicious. Perhaps he has a scorching case of herpes or warts or something and that‘s why you can‘t touch it. I dunno....there could be alot of reasons he acts this way....but you shouldn‘t make his issues your problem. If his "demands" are making you second guess yourself or the relationship, then it might be time to think about leaving him.

Whatever the reason, he isn‘t being honest with you, and that alone is reason enough to be suspicious of him. If a man will lie about one thing, he can surely lie about another.

omg fifi just gave me another thou ,maybe this man is gay and dont want you to know it.I am sorry and I know that sounds bad and I dont say it to hurt you.

like I said do not get married to this man.do the teo of you have any children?even if you do I would say walk now before you have to life your hole life like this.