WomanSavers.com Forum / WOMEN'S HEALTH AND SEX ISSUES / Is he lonesome?

 My hubby has to work and live out of townfor the type of work that he does and is unable to come home but every 3 weeks to a month.(Long hours)

But when he is at home, I would think that he would be more cuddly and passionate...lol When he does come home, he ask"you wanna mess around?" then instead of him telling me how much he missed me  and all, he talks sto me as if i was some kind of porn whore during sex!grrrr might not be to bad if he was at home all the time...lol also makes me feel that he has to think ofme as a porn whore to get excited. Afterwards, eiter turns over or gets up! NO cuddling and no passion on his half... I have cuddled up and sometimes , he has picked up my hand and put it back to me.. I asked. and he either said he was hot or did not do that! and I have have told him how i feel to have some cuddling from him and still waiting!

I said to him that i wished he not talk to me like that all the time during sex,a dn he didnt his last trip home, but also seemed to have a good erection either...hummmm

Wondering if it might be worn out before he got home sometimes...

I would think after being gone that long, he would be more cuddly and passionate. well to maybe a extent at least..lol

I may sound so nieve, but have no one to talk to and it just drives me crazy!

Sorry, Sadtiger, but your husband has no consideration for your feelings, and has no desire to be intimate with you.

The word "intimate" does not just mean "physically or sexually intimate." There is emotional intimacy too. I don‘t think your husband either wants that....or probably can‘t handle it.

Before he took this job, was he cuddly & romantic? Did he take time to engage in foreplay to arouse you? Did he hold you after making love, and engage in pillow talk with you?

If he didn‘t before, why would you expect him to be any different now?

If he DID before, and he isn‘t doing those things now, then something in him has changed.

My now ex-husband would do the foreplay thing, but if he didn‘t have to, he‘d rather skip it. He was NOT into cuddling afterwards, in fact he HATED being touched after sex. He could fuck me, but he had major problems with emotional intimacy. He also looked at a lot of porn, and had done so since he was very young (like 10 y.o. or something).

About your husband......My gut tells me....porn. You say he talks to you like you‘re a porn star, has sex with you, then either turns away or gets up. It sounds to me like he can only think of you as a sexual object, and looking at a lot of porn can change a man that way.

He‘s away from you a lot, my guess is that he has a porn fantasy sexual world that you are not a part of. When people (not just men) view a lot of porn, it can really change them. Read this article & check out the website:

http://p103.ezboard.com/fmothersagainstpornographyaddictionfrm11.showMessage?topicID=540.topic

Can you snoop around & find out if he has a porn collection on his computer, or if he‘s been calling sex chat lines....or worse.....hookers?

If I were you, I would NOT have sex with him until you investigate this thoroughly. At least not unprotected sex. Be safe & protect yourself.

I know I might be jumping to conclusions, but many of us have seen this type of behavior before & have experienced the negative consequences of it....Trust your OWN gut. What does it tell you?

Good luck,
UB