Was told to re post this hear so here it goes:
I recently had a very lucky escape. I just want to share my expierence and hopefully help other people catch a cheat.
I started to see this guy 9 months ago. I was going through a divorce and very fragile. Everything seemed find until a month into the relationship I got an email from an ex girlfriend of his saying not to trust him etc. He explained that he had fallen out of love with his wife and started and affair, but it had ended a few weeks before we got together. I thought nothing more of it and put it down to bad blood. Another four months into the relationship I started to notice he could blow hot and cold, confessing undying love one moment and being distant the next. I at that point had no intentions of getting involved to deeply so kept my distance. But something didn‘t sit right. His behaviour was strange. I emailed the woman he had the affair with again and she told me that he had been asking her back and sending love emails etc.
I confronted him and he denied it all saying it was lies. I believed him because i really didn‘t believe he would cheat. For one reason or another doubt set in, so I did something I‘m not proud of, but got my evidence, I tried breaking into his hotmail account, but didn‘t know the answer to his personal question. But hers on the other hand was easier, it was her favourit meal. I found the evidence, he had been asking her back and there relationship didn‘t end until 3 weeks into ours. I decided to call a break between us just while I sorted out what I wanted to do. In that time I found him on a dating site (I did go looking). We ended, but he came crawling back with lots of excuses and promises, Stupidly I gave him another chance. Recently I started to get more doubts, he would be online allot, on msn then he could talk to me, but he took along time responding so decided to do some detective work:
In her emails from the affair it had the website they met on and his user name. loves_you_in_stockings.
I also borrowed his computer for an hour why he was out saying I was going to look for jobs. I knew he would have hidden folders so I typed in key words like "love" and also the words "me" (the reason for this is when anyone sends a pic to someone they normally name it me, especially when it‘s through msn).
I also did searches on google under his nicknames in "" and found he was on a stocking fetish site where he was admitting to countless interactions with women in stockings in work or anywhere else he could find them when he was in his past 2 relationships.
With these two pieces of evidence I found out that he wasn‘t meeting anyone, but would go online pose as single and sex xhat with girls getting them to send pictures and there where over 200 pics from during the time we where together (I checked the dates last modified on the files). I also logged onto this chat site and had several alias to see how far he would go. The best was a married woman who wanted a bit on the side. He said he‘d love to meet up with her because he loves the sneaking around when someone is married.
The trick was to set up several hotmail accounts I could use if he ever asked to msn and personalised each one so he wouldn‘t ever guess. The pictures for the women I got from a site called hot or not where there‘s normally 3 pics of each woman and you can search by age. With all this I had several conversations over a few weeks to see just how far his cheating would go.
You might ask why I didn‘t just leave him, but when you love somone and you get a hunch that there cheating you want to know for sure. I didn‘t want to end it and think I‘d made a mistake or been paranoid. And he did display all the warning signs you see on countless site.
Now I‘m single and have been for 2 weeks and very happy. I have my peace and closure because I know what he was doing and he will never find out. He justs thinks I left him because I didn‘t love him anymore. There‘s no point confronting a cheat like him because it‘s so easy to listen to lies and think you can sort things out and he‘ll change. But that is just for this man, some just make stupid mistake, he‘s an internet sex addict addicted to thrill sex.
If you would like some help I can‘t promise it will work, but I‘m happy to help anyone investigate into there partner. Without the spy wear just logic.
Thanks for listening, there is light at the end of the tunnel