Stay away from this man! He’s a repeat liar and a cheat, and will break your heart!
He was my husband, and we started having problems in February of 2001. His favorite band is ELO, and they were having a reunion tour in New York. We lived in Dallas so could only afford one plane ticket. I said he should go without me, because I loved him and wanted him to be happy. He did, and met Kimberly, his soon-to-be mistress. He told her we were getting divorced, and that I was a clingy ex-wife that couldn’t let go of his wonderfulness. He forgot to tell ME! I was at home waiting for him to tell me what a good time he’d had!
He started chatting with her, and in March started telling me he “didn’t think he loved me anymore”. We went to couples therapy in June, and he lied lied lied. Even the therapist got frustrated and demanded he “lay the cards on the table.” He refused to do that, and then refused to go see her after that.
He started making up excuses to be out of town, telling me he was visiting his cousins in Houston, was on a business trip to Baton Rouge, was fishing with his best friend for the weekend, blah blah blah. I’d call his boss or his cousins to find out why he hadn’t called me or left a phone number where he’d be, just to discover that they had no idea where he was or that he was supposed to be with them! His boss even got really upset with him for dragging him into his lies. Money started disappearing from our joint bank account, including $300 to an ATM at Dave and Busters in Utica, Michigan! He’d told me this girl he’d met recently lived in Michigan. When I confronted him with it, he lied again, making up some story about a girl named Jennifer who was supposedly a paralegal at the lawfirm he does networking for. He lied to get me off Kimberly’s trail.
In late July I’d finally had enough of his games, and made plans to visit my Dad in New Hampshire for two weeks. While I was there I googled his name, and discovered her website! It had pictures of them together all over it, with them looking all cozy, his hand on her thigh, etc. Vulgar, horrible photos… I collapsed on the floor in sobs. I’ve never felt a pain so deep and intense as the pain I felt that day I found out. All the time I’d been bleeding during sex, and Julian had even had to take me to the hospital the pain was so bad. They gave me big pills and wouldn’t tell me what it was (Julian had had a little “chat” with the orderly). I found out much later that 1) Kimberly was THERE in my house, sleeping in my bed, going to my favorite restaurants, and having sex with my husband while I was visiting my Dad, and 2) I’d had Chlamydia for years and possibly couldn’t have children. My ex was my first and only, at the time.
He called every day, telling me that he loved me and wanted to work it out with me. In early August my Grandmother died, three days before my birthday. I had to go back to Texas for the funeral. My ex took me out to lunch and told me he loved me and wanted me, and brought his mom to grandma’s funeral. The very next day he flew up to Michigan to be with his mistress for HER birthday which happened to be two days after mine. Cold, cruel, heartless bastard. After I found out about Kimberly, we separated and I lived in New Hampshire. In November my ex told me he was coming to get me so we could work on our marriage (he told Kimmie that he was at a conference). He drove up to get me and took me back to Dallas. I found all the evidence then… receipts, photos of them together, ticket stubs, and emails. Once I found all this, I was done with trying to save our marriage!! When he realized I was onto him, he took every opportunity to ruin my self-esteem, calling me ugly, fat and stupid, and comparing me to Kimberly, telling me how much better than me she was. He then removed his name from our joint credit card, leaving me with $6000 in debt. He was supposed to pay 2/3 of it, he only paid $1000. I paid the rest out of my grandmother’s inheritance. I was homeless, penniless, and heartbroken, my ego utterly destroyed. I fled back to New Hampshire and have managed to rebuild myself. I’m over him completely (after Chlamydia, $6000 and everything else, who would be hung up on a man like that???) but I still have trouble managing the betrayal and pain he inflicted on me.
Heed my warning: he will ruin anyone who is with him. He’ll put on a sweet, good-guy face for awhile and then in a few years he’ll turn on you. Watch out for this man, and don’t touch him with a ten-foot pole!