WomanSavers.com Forum / ABUSE HELP / im being abused

My advice is:

Cash your paycheck, get the car while he is at work, load it up with all of your clothes, photos, jewelry, your dogs, ANYTHING you need, and drive your soon to be happy ass to Texas. Screw the bills, he can pay them for once. He is using that to tie you down.

 You can get on your feet in TX with your sister and depending on how far she lives, the drive really isnt that bad. I‘ve made road trips much farther alone. It‘s a little scary, but you need to do something other than make excuses why you can‘t leave yet. No one is going to hand you a 1000$ here.

You know you deserve better. You need to leave now. Stop procrastinating and don‘t keep forgiving him if he is the cold bastard you are describing.

Katy - Lots of us here have been through this.  We know and understand your pain.

Talk to your local shelter network and see what resources they have or could recommend.  You may have to place your dogs.  I understand that that makes it difficult to stay in a shelter, and that you don‘t want to abandon your pets. I understand your fear and worry about them, but if it comes down to you or your pets, you need to be concerned with your own safety first. 

In my state, they had a program for pets of domestic violence victims.  I don‘t know if anything like that still exists, but it is worth asking.

If you have a job, you‘re doing better than a lot of women.  It means that you have some form of financial support. 

With the finances, consider a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, which will call off the dogs as far as creditors are concerned, and will put you on a payment plan with the court trustee. Another option is Consumer Credit Counseling.  Let them negotiate with creditors and pay your bills for you.  Lower your stress.. Most creditors will work with you if you tell them the circumstances.

Is your son able to work?  Does he have a disability that prevents him from working?  Have him file a claim with SSI.  He may qualify for disability insurance and Section 8 housing. If not, he is old enough to understand that it is time for him to be on his own now, or at the very least, to be helping you.

Sell anything that isn‘t tied down.  I know we have all heard sleazy things about Craigslist, but people will buy almost anything. 

Do you have any friends or family who can assist?

Shally‘s advice is solid.  Call the police.  If he hits you, if he threatens you - file a police report.  If he leaves bruises, take pictures, file a protection order with the court, and have him served. 

I know none of this is easy, and that it‘s terrifying to be in your shoes.  We will be here for you.   But don‘t stay - your safety is everything.

i‘m still trying to find a way out  of course friday  he came home like  there  was no problem with us inthe  world  but that was only so he  could get what he  wanted  then  yesterday he  picked a fight  again.its over i just need to figure a way out. i mmight have to leave with no money.its hard to live with no money but i know i cant take much more of this.

the    abuse  hotmail didnt return my  call so  they must not  of had  any programs to help me  .  i will contact   welfare tomorrow  see  if they  can help me . if i  can only get out the lord will provide some how i know this.

i  feel so beat down  that it is  a  problem to just get out of  bed  much less pack up a house  and move  with out  some kind of plan.

 i know from  experience how he will react   so i have decided when i leave  either  to block him on my  cell phone  or   just ignor his calls. but  until  i get my plan in place  keep  me  in your thoughts and prayers  everyday i get a little  bit closer to  freedom. i knowe in my heart if not my head that i can do this  with the  grace of god.

to all the women  who  are in my position   start making  your plans now   he won‘t  change get out.

to all the women   who have  gotten out  i‘m proud of  you  and  wish i   had  a lot more of your  strength .