WomanSavers.com Forum / ABUSE HELP / Going mad!

Happy Easter everyone!!

I hope you all have a relaxing break. I‘m celebrating my new job :-)

Thanks Shally for your wishes, i think it worked!

Interesting twist of events...........

Well, last week my dad received a phonecall from my mother (after nearly 2 years). She‘s found out that my dad may be terminally ill. We‘ll find out this week.

Heartwarming isn‘t it. Yet in the same breath asked what other people were saying about her (friends in regard to what she has done). And typically no mention of me by her. No question as to how I am or how we‘ll manage if dad is ill. My dad mentioned me and interestingly she accused me of all sorts of lies it‘s unbelievable! Twisting words and actions so creatively and I think she actually does believe what she is saying. Things I did ........? It‘s so frustrating having someone say that you did something and you didn‘t. I have witnesses (2) so i know I‘m not going mad. She could quite easily send me that way. Sometimes you think........is it me? But jeez don;t let them make you believe that.

One good thing though, my dad finally realised how strange she is. I guess 2 years of  not hearing from someone then a sudden call which contains bizarre accusations, lies and behaviours really do help you to see more clearly.

A good effort to show she cares. Afterall what would other people think if she hadn‘t called the man she was married to for 38 years to ask how he was.

Thanks for listening and letting me get that out there. It somehow helps to chip away at the problem. Hopefully one day it will be a grain of sand.

Thanks Shally sooooo much. It means a lot :-)

I‘m praying my dad is ok. He‘s had various tests and the results come through later in the week. I just can‘t believe that there is anything wrong as he looks fine. Not noticed any physical changes. I keep wondering if they got it wrong from the first blood test or mixed the patients tests up?

We‘ve been waiting over 4 weeks now and i keep thinking if there was anything major then surely they would have called him in earlier. I don‘t know how I‘m going to cope if it‘s bad news.

Will let you know how it goes.

Good News Shally!!!

I am so so relieved. My dad has MGUS not bone marrow cancer. They need to keep an eye on him and take frequent tests, which is good for him and his future health.

The worry these past 5/6 weeks has been awful. Makes you realise how special life is. There were a lot of patients waiting in the hospital with cancer it made you think. Two girls only my age. Made my dad think hard about what‘s happened and he wants to move forward and enjoy his life now. Strangely it‘s given us both closure when we needed it.

I‘m out this weekend, it‘s a bank holiday over here. Going out with my boyfriend and going to take advantage of the time.

Love you all!!! Have a great weekend!!

PS Shally I keep playing the chant music on the Grateful Living website. I find it very calming :-)

x

Congrats that your father is cancer-free.  I know the feeling and can relate! 

I was at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance twice since my surgery on March 22, and that is when the reality finally hit me.  I saw so many cancer patients with their families, in the lobby, in waiting rooms, and was blown away by how calm, serene, and at peace they seemed, and what strength and dignity they showed, as they walked around with caps, scarves, and missing hair - and I marveled at the strength of their families who were with them - who were coping so bravely, and trying to be so positive and supportive.

I burst into tears, realizing but for the grace of God, it could have been me, and how very, very lucky I am.  I was very humbled by this, almost asking, "Why me?"  I told myself that I will never allow myself to be ungrateful ever again, or to take anything in my life for granted.

Having had this experience, I feel very blessed, and I think it is really, really important to quit sweating the small stuff.

It sounds as though you and your father are doing a lot of bonding, and becoming closer.  When it comes to your mother, it is her loss, and keep in mind that she is probably a very unhappy person, and feels terribly guilty underneath it all.  You can bet that she thinks about you every single day, and it is probably very hard for her to face you As the years go by, she is going to seriously regret this. Just know - in all things - that her bad behavior is not reflection on you, but on her.  Know also that it is her burden to carry, not yours, and that she will ultimately pay for it in the long run.  Selfish people always do - even when it seems like they always get away with it.

Rhiannon I couldn‘t have put it any better.

That‘s EXACTLY how it makes you feel. I couldn‘t believe how people were managing to cope. There were two girls my age who had cancer and I could hear them talking to eachother about their cancer and how ‘you just have to get on with things don‘t you‘. She sounded so brave and seemed to be helping the other girl. They swapped telephone numbers to keep in touch. All I could do was look down at the floor, there were so many people sat around ill. Makes you realise what a good job the doctors and nurses do in that department.

I couldn‘t help but feel guilty as I walked back down the corridor all relieved with my dad.

You‘re so right, don‘t sweat the small stuff, it‘s so not worth it. They say everything is for a reason, it makes you wonder.