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| passion101 |
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Posted: 2/14/2010 10:01 AM |
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Subject: advice please |
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New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 25
Total Posts: 6
Goldsboro
North Carolina
United States
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My mom has a son that is constantly threatening her and talks to her like a dog and he has an arrogant attitude and thinks people are supposed to bow down to him.She can‘t get him to leave her house and every time she threatens to call the law he threatens her life and her grandkids. He has even busted her door in and busted her window out. he has stolen from her and makes her give him money all the time. I have tried to get someone to stand up to him, but nobody seems to care and won‘t. I tried the law many times,but I can‘t get them to do anything!! I love my mom and she is 70 and she doesn‘t deserve this at all and I want to do whatever I can to help her! I even tried my baby‘s father to help me but he won‘t instead he gets angry when my long time friend which is a guy comes around to say hey to me! I have anxiety issues and stress and I can‘t take anymore! He is going way too far and I am scared one day he might hurt her! I know this is pathetic but I need advice about please!! he says he will burn her house down with her and her grandchildren in it!
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 2/14/2010 2:25 PM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
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dublin
Ireland
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| passion101 wrote: | | My mom has a son that is constantly threatening her and talks to her like a dog and he has an arrogant attitude and thinks people are supposed to bow down to him.She can‘t get him to leave her house and every time she threatens to call the law he threatens her life and her grandkids. He has even busted her door in and busted her window out. he has stolen from her and makes her give him money all the time. I have tried to get someone to stand up to him, but nobody seems to care and won‘t. I tried the law many times,but I can‘t get them to do anything!! I love my mom and she is 70 and she doesn‘t deserve this at all and I want to do whatever I can to help her! I even tried my baby‘s father to help me but he won‘t instead he gets angry when my long time friend which is a guy comes around to say hey to me! I have anxiety issues and stress and I can‘t take anymore! He is going way too far and I am scared one day he might hurt her! I know this is pathetic but I need advice about please!! he says he will burn her house down with her and her grandchildren in it! |
I‘m not from the USA, but in Ireland and the UK we have barring orders and safety orders that you can get in the family law court which means he‘d basically be barred from turning up at the house and if he did the police have the right to arrest him straight away. Have you looked into this?
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| shally |
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Posted: 2/17/2010 7:35 AM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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The only one tht can do anything is your mother. She can call the police and say he is threatening himself and her and they‘ll keep him 72 hours. During that time your mom can change the locks and get a Restraining Order of Protection against him. That way every time he comes to her home he‘ll again be arrested.
But your mom will have to put aside her love for her son and put her safety first. Remind her that she needs to do this not only for herself but the safety of the gkids. So if she won‘t do it for herself then she needs to protect those innocent children.
Do they live with her? Can you just imagine the fear they feel when he breaks a door or window? My heart goes out to them.
Maybe a call to Child Protective Services will help. They do not need to be in that home, they need to be somewhere safe.
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| Rhiannon |
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Posted: 2/18/2010 8:03 AM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 0
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Lacey
Washington
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Actually, if you have witnessed this man threatening her life, or the life of the children, you can report it, and have him arrested.
If more "witnesses" would call the police, the chances of men just getting away with this stuff would be a lot slimmer. It removes the "he said/she said" element. A police report provides excellent documentation.
And while he‘s in jail, the victim should file a protection order with district court. A threat on one‘s life is taken very seriously. Witnesses also make it less likely that the perpetrator is going to be able to just lie his way out of it.
File a police report.
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| Rhiannon |
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Posted: 2/18/2010 8:04 AM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Lacey
Washington
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Ex parte restraining orders work well too.
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/18/2010 9:38 PM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 33
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There are laws to protect the elderly now too, did you know that? http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx
Call 1-800-677-1116. Its the hotline on that website for elder abuse. She‘s 70 and is in danger. YOU need to DO something, not only for her but for her grandchildren. That thug needs to be put away but if the police aren‘t helping you need to take the initiative and call ppl who will listen. You need to file a report any time something happens, even if the police do nothing. All you have to do is go down to the police station and tell them you need to file a report. It‘s free and I have done it several times when someone would not leave me alone. There needs to be documentation in case something happens later on. This will also help getting a restraining order when things get out of hand again. Call that number, and when you hang up with them, call
1-800-4-A-CHILD and let them know what is going on. They can also help you to know what steps need to be taken about this. Do NOT procrastinate and wonder if you are doing the right thing. CALL!
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| shally |
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Posted: 2/19/2010 6:34 AM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 3
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| moogleangelgirl wrote: |
There are laws to protect the elderly now too, did you know that? http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx
Call 1-800-677-1116. Its the hotline on that website for elder abuse. She‘s 70 and is in danger. YOU need to DO something, not only for her but for her grandchildren. That thug needs to be put away but if the police aren‘t helping you need to take the initiative and call ppl who will listen. You need to file a report any time something happens, even if the police do nothing. All you have to do is go down to the police station and tell them you need to file a report. It‘s free and I have done it several times when someone would not leave me alone. There needs to be documentation in case something happens later on. This will also help getting a restraining order when things get out of hand again. Call that number, and when you hang up with them, call
1-800-4-A-CHILD and let them know what is going on. They can also help you to know what steps need to be taken about this. Do NOT procrastinate and wonder if you are doing the right thing. CALL!
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Hey you! I left you a message in that errr embarrassing thread - you know the one!
So good to see you on! 
Anyway thank you so much for those numbers! I have a pal that is going through something similar. It‘s why I posted only the mother can do something. Her brother is nutty to say the least but the police will do nothing because his mom won‘t press charges! Also they said he lives in the house just as his mother does so he has a right to be there. Guess what? His mom moved! Her house and she moved! I believe she was just too embarrassed to say her own son would abuse her, that and she didn‘t want to see him go to jail. Crazy situation!
Again, thank you so much for those numbers!
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/20/2010 8:46 PM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 33
Total Posts: 431
Where I live
Texas
United States
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| shally wrote: |
Hey you! I left you a message in that errr embarrassing thread - you know the one!
So good to see you on!
Anyway thank you so much for those numbers! I have a pal that is going through something similar. It‘s why I posted only the mother can do something. Her brother is nutty to say the least but the police will do nothing because his mom won‘t press charges! Also they said he lives in the house just as his mother does so he has a right to be there. Guess what? His mom moved! Her house and she moved! I believe she was just too embarrassed to say her own son would abuse her, that and she didn‘t want to see him go to jail. Crazy situation!
Again, thank you so much for those numbers!
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lol~! That "embarassing post" made me laugh so hard though! classic! lol!
It‘s not common knowledge about the elderly abuse thing it seems. If I didn‘t know about it I would have thought the same thing. I mean 70 years old is a grown woman who can make choices right? As ppl get older they get weaker and while the mind and heart may be strong, the body isn‘t. Stress can drain us physically and make us give in where we would have stood our ground otherwise. It‘s a shame and an embarrassment to the human race that anyone would take advantage of that. I know when I get old I will probably not even know when I need help because I will feel young inside. I would hope that someone that loves me would step in and help if something like this were to happen. That man is a sorry excuse for a human being doing that to his mother. I hope that number and website helps somehow.
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 2/21/2010 2:41 PM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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| moogleangelgirl wrote: |
| shally wrote: |
Hey you! I left you a message in that errr embarrassing thread - you know the one!
So good to see you on!
Anyway thank you so much for those numbers! I have a pal that is going through something similar. It‘s why I posted only the mother can do something. Her brother is nutty to say the least but the police will do nothing because his mom won‘t press charges! Also they said he lives in the house just as his mother does so he has a right to be there. Guess what? His mom moved! Her house and she moved! I believe she was just too embarrassed to say her own son would abuse her, that and she didn‘t want to see him go to jail. Crazy situation!
Again, thank you so much for those numbers!
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lol~! That "embarassing post" made me laugh so hard though! classic! lol!
It‘s not common knowledge about the elderly abuse thing it seems. If I didn‘t know about it I would have thought the same thing. I mean 70 years old is a grown woman who can make choices right? As ppl get older they get weaker and while the mind and heart may be strong, the body isn‘t. Stress can drain us physically and make us give in where we would have stood our ground otherwise. It‘s a shame and an embarrassment to the human race that anyone would take advantage of that. I know when I get old I will probably not even know when I need help because I will feel young inside. I would hope that someone that loves me would step in and help if something like this were to happen. That man is a sorry excuse for a human being doing that to his mother. I hope that number and website helps somehow.
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You are right...I never thought about it like that but 70 is old. My mother is 70 but she could probably still kick my ass if she wanted too...I sometimes forget that they are not all like her.
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| Moogleangelgirl |
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Posted: 2/21/2010 2:55 PM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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Age: 33
Total Posts: 431
Where I live
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| bubblecropper wrote: |
You are right...I never thought about it like that but 70 is old. My mother is 70 but she could probably still kick my ass if she wanted too...I sometimes forget that they are not all like her.
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LOL Bless her heart! I hope I‘m like that when I hit 70 ^^
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| dd5 |
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Posted: 2/22/2010 10:55 AM |
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Subject: advice please |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Age: 52
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in the middle of the forest
Illinois
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| passion101 wrote: |
| My mom has a son that is constantly threatening her and talks to her like a dog and he has an arrogant attitude and thinks people are supposed to bow down to him.She can‘t get him to leave her house and every time she threatens to call the law he threatens her life and her grandkids. He has even busted her door in and busted her window out. he has stolen from her and makes her give him money all the time. I have tried to get someone to stand up to him, but nobody seems to care and won‘t. I tried the law many times,but I can‘t get them to do anything!! I love my mom and she is 70 and she doesn‘t deserve this at all and I want to do whatever I can to help her! I even tried my baby‘s father to help me but he won‘t instead he gets angry when my long time friend which is a guy comes around to say hey to me! I have anxiety issues and stress and I can‘t take anymore! He is going way too far and I am scared one day he might hurt her! I know this is pathetic but I need advice about please!! he says he will burn her house down with her and her grandchildren in it! |
Passion....Since you have tried the law many times, and nothing helps.....just wondering, have you tried contacting an emergency mental health professional, sounds like this man needs some serious mental help.
Most states have an emergency mental health counsler available 24 hours. Maybe you could talk to your brother and suggest to him to call them. Somewhere deep inside he has to know his behavior is wrong, maybe you could talk to him about getting help. Maybe he needs to be on medication.
It sounds like your mother loves him very much, if she has even moved out of her own house to avoid the issues. I understand a mother not wanting to call the law on her own son, but something needs to be done, those grandkids don‘t need to be exposed to this kind of behavior. Plus at her age she shouldn‘t have to be dealing with it.
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