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MESSAGE
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| YellowEyes |
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Posted: 1/26/2010 12:30 PM |
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Subject: Friends on dating sites |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 36
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Total Posts: 137
Sor
Norway
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I have been so forward and back thinking I could date again, but have come to understand I am not ready after all the abuse for years.
I think I have become good at spotting abusers and I feel I am doing much better being able to know when someone crosses my boundaries.
I have written in my profile ( which I am about to deactivate soon) that I appreciate new friends too. A man asked could he be my friend, I said yes, but today he started his message with "hey babe" and finished with "I like you".
Doesnīt he then crosses my boundaries, I should delete him right? friends donīt say like this after two messages. He has no right to call me babe, Iīm not his babe!
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 1/26/2010 2:37 PM |
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Subject: Friends on dating sites |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
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Total Posts: 1667
dublin
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Hi Yellow, haven‘t heard from you in a while!
It sounds like you‘ve done some healing, which is great! but its wayyyyy too soon for dating sites hun, don‘t get me wrong, I know a lot of girls who have found lovely guys on them...but its a breeding ground for abusers and cheaters and you are far to raw still to enter that arena. Baby steps hun.
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| YellowEyes |
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Posted: 1/26/2010 2:57 PM |
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Subject: Friends on dating sites |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 36
Total Posts: 137
Sor
Norway
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Hi bubblecropper,
yes, itīs been a while, I have been on a support board for narcissistic abuse recovery and have just started to learn to set boundaries and taking care of myself.
I know I am not ready to date actually and that internet are a hunting ground for abusers. Doesnīt this guy cross my boundaries by saying babe and I like you when he wrote to be my friend? By the way he call himself lover1, so I suspect he is one who pretend he is a friend, but in real he wants to know woman for one thing. Even he is in another country. And he wanted to start chatting with emails with once so we could get to know each other good. I havenīt answered him back because I felt violated, my boundaries, a friend. Friends donīt talk like that.
And how are you doing? :)
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 1/26/2010 7:26 PM |
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Subject: Friends on dating sites |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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| YellowEyes wrote: | |
Hi bubblecropper,
yes, itīs been a while, I have been on a support board for narcissistic abuse recovery and have just started to learn to set boundaries and taking care of myself.
I know I am not ready to date actually and that internet are a hunting ground for abusers. Doesnīt this guy cross my boundaries by saying babe and I like you when he wrote to be my friend? By the way he call himself lover1, so I suspect he is one who pretend he is a friend, but in real he wants to know woman for one thing. Even he is in another country. And he wanted to start chatting with emails with once so we could get to know each other good. I havenīt answered him back because I felt violated, my boundaries, a friend. Friends donīt talk like that.
And how are you doing? :)
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Yes, it did cross bounderies...and thats the really icky thing about the internet...bounderies can get blurred so much easier...which is not good for someone who‘s only starting to form them. You did good not to respond though hun, he sounds like an obvious dirtbag!
I‘m fine yellow, thanks for asking 
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| YellowEyes |
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Posted: 1/27/2010 5:13 AM |
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Subject: Friends on dating sites |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 36
Total Posts: 137
Sor
Norway
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| bubblecropper wrote: |
| YellowEyes wrote: | | Hi bubblecropper,
yes, itīs been a while, I have been on a support board for narcissistic abuse recovery and have just started to learn to set boundaries and taking care of myself.
I know I am not ready to date actually and that internet are a hunting ground for abusers. Doesnīt this guy cross my boundaries by saying babe and I like you when he wrote to be my friend? By the way he call himself lover1, so I suspect he is one who pretend he is a friend, but in real he wants to know woman for one thing. Even he is in another country. And he wanted to start chatting with emails with once so we could get to know each other good. I havenīt answered him back because I felt violated, my boundaries, a friend. Friends donīt talk like that.
And how are you doing? :) |
Yes, it did cross bounderies...and thats the really icky thing about the internet...bounderies can get blurred so much easier...which is not good for someone whos only starting to form them. You did good not to respond though hun, he sounds like an obvious dirtbag!
Im fine yellow, thanks for asking |
Thank you bubblecropper!
Iīm released to hear I was right he did cross my boundaries, even I was sure of it itīs always good to get validation, then I know I can be extra sure, you know. So I guess I have "some" doubt still, but I am on a good way trusting my feelings.
Today he blew me a kiss. Probably because I didnīt respond, that was the top of it all. What a false person! I deleted my account. I am glad to hear you are doing fine too! 
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