So, basically I forgave the gamer for a while over the holidays cause I didn‘t have it in me to break up with him at that point. He did try harder over the holiday, or maybe it was that I wanted to think he did.
He is still gaming and overeating, still depressed. I decided to quit over worrying about him and focus more on myself.I am going back to school and starting my own business part-time. I offerred to help the old man start a business and I also offered to help him do it because he really doesn‘t know how and I have more experience than he does, and I wanted to get him out of a dead end job he works at. I was going to help him try to develop an antiques type business on the side where maybe we could do it together.
So then our first anniversary came up. I stopped reacting to all the boneheaded things he did for a while, even though now I realize he socially is pretty enept at times, due to him being a computer guy, but I let all the stuff go. There is a history also of him being raised with tons of money, being spoiled. He thinks its ok to control folks with money and throw big teenager-type tantrums if he doesn‘t get his way about videogaming or just whatever, as it turns out. He can scream until 1,2, or 3 am. He is generally depressed so I don‘t get the full range of positve things out of him, only hear from him if I screw up, basically. I had pretty much decided last year that he is a toxic friend I may just have to cut out of my life, because the relationship is one way I give and he hurts emotionally.
So I usually have a budget on holidays, and once I go through it that is it, literally right now. Well, the old man works at a very high-end department fashion store so he is used to seeing people through a lot of money around down there, that regular folks aren‘t normally spending around here. Unfortunately, though, we don‘t have that kind of money, like the kind his customers or his folks have. But he has to pretend he is a part of that lifestyle in my opinion.
So what blew our month of getting along? I spent our anniv. day with him, gave him a backrub and I bought him a stainless designer watch that wasn‘t good enough for him, and I made him a scrapbooked card from Michaels instead of buying him an expensive one from Target. At one point, he asked for more than one card. He became abusive and screamed that he didn‘t want a watch, I didn‘t spend enough, even though he didn‘t tell me what he DID want, and I blew through more money on Xmas this year, so I had to tighten the belt a little for our anniv which is right after. I had to buy one that was used this year, but almost new, so I could afford the one I wanted. That wasn‘t quite good enough either though, no set of Xmas or birthday or holiday gifts has been enough for him yet. They are always lacking one last thing I didn‘t buy him. He screamed at me until 2 am and kicked me out of our bedroom over the watch not being good enough, or god knows why. He grew up well off so maybe I made a mistake.