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MESSAGE
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 12/23/2009 2:30 AM |
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Subject: Hands Off |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
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Total Posts: 1027
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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He is trying to warm you up to the idea that you are the abusive one. See, if he accuses you enough, you will feel guilty for it, just because he believes it. Even though you have never touched him.
There is a post on here called the toxic man. It is in the abuse section here. Please read it. It helped me a lot.
Have you went to a counselor yet? Please GO!
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 12/23/2009 11:36 PM |
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Subject: Hands Off |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 1027
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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| troubled10 wrote: | | The main reason I posted the last posting was because , I have a neighbor that stood outside her home making false comments about my CHILDREN. My ex they are his FRIENDS. And they say nasty things like him. She stood out there saying the dents on my used vehicle were probably due to my children, or me. She made comments about a child being harmed. Children that were uncontrollable. Nasty things, And that had nothing to do with me or my kids. My vehicle was purchased in its condition and it needs work. But they also yell yeah WE KNOW HE‘s GOOD. My ex. Well you know they DON‘T KNOW. And they need to leave me and my kids alone. My kids have done NOTHING WRONG. And making nasty comments about maybe this or that and making it look like mykids are bad thats AN ABUSIVE PERSON ALSO. So I say to them I KNOWWHERE HIS FRIENDS COME FROM. And I called her a piece of Dirt. Because someone has to be a CRUEL PERSON TO MAKE NASTY RUDE AND UNTRUE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST A CHILD. My kids are very well behaved and her responses were well I wasn‘t talking about them and I was just making predictions on how her vehicle got that way. And HE goes over to their house. THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY. And you know my kids DIDN‘T DESERVE THAT. So if I‘m suppose to leave my kids with him because of that THEY ARE WRONG. and they are hurting MY KIDS TOO, JUST AS MUCH AS HE DOES EMOTIONALLY. |
Quit talking to the neighbors. Anyone who would say stuff like that about your kids or you to you is an idiot.
Tell her point blank that she knows nothing about you or your children and that she should mind her own business. Then walk away.
Don‘t worry about what your ex says to the neighbors. The smart ones won‘t believe him or care. The dumb ones won‘t be of a consequence to you a year from now. Forget em‘
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| shelbelle |
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Posted: 1/15/2010 10:30 AM |
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Subject: Hands Off |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 23
Total Posts: 1391
lalaland
North Carolina
United States
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troubled....it sounds like your new start is coming very soon. hang in there and keep in mind that you will be out soon.
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 1/15/2010 6:29 PM |
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Subject: Hands Off |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 1027
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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Troubled10,
I was hoping to hear that you had already moved out. He has to put the guilt on you to make him feel vindicated. No one can handle that much guilt. Either way, neither of you is happy.
It‘s time to ACCEPT the things you cannot change.
YOU cannot change him.
The COURAGE to change the things you can.
Move out, and move on.
The WISDOM to know the difference.
You say alot when you say "why can‘t he just...pay attention to the kids" etc. You can‘t make him see that he is at fault. You never will.
I hope you get moved soon. Then you will be able to heal. You cannot heal while still in touch with him.
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| malarkey marie |
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Posted: 1/21/2010 2:08 AM |
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Subject: Hands Off |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 500
Total Posts: 804
Vatican city
Finland
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| troubled10 wrote: | | I know I‘m making plans. Yesterday I got scared. He asked me to talk with him, so of course I did. He told me everything he said was out of anger and he wants us to stay together. He was sorry. Deep inside myself , I thought he‘s crazy. I didn‘t say I would stay. He just assumes I will, so he‘s been really nice to me. I think about everything he has done to me. And what people say also. I won‘t stay. I don‘t want to waste my life here. I don‘t want to die here. I want some more happiness, I want my children to be happy. I want to live whats left of my life with peace in it. When I have enough money, we are gone and I know I can‘t leave with him being here. I‘ll leave while he is working. I thought of everything I could take in my van. And I can take all my kids‘ things. Beds and all if I take them apart. I bought them nice things. And the sad thing is , is with my tax return. I can buy all the furniture I need and still have a nest egg till I can get a job. I can get food stamps till then also. Where I‘m going I will need a class for my work and I though about money for that tooo. I‘m just going with the flow now. Trying to make it through Christmas. My house is all clean. He has a room with his own bathroom. I don‘t go in but to use the computer. And its a mess. the only part of the house that s not clean. I‘m not dirt, i‘m not trash, and i‘m not worthless. And neither are my kids. I‘m scared and I know this is my only chance to change things and I‘m taking it . He‘s just acting weird. He hasn‘t tried to touch me yet. Hug me or anything. I want peace in my life. Thanksgiving was good. He doesn‘t come out but to go in and out of the house. its like he has his own apartment on the other side of the house. Me and my kids ate all together and he wasn‘t there. but he was still in thehouse. It was nice sort of being alone. Next year things will be better. I can‘t confide in any one here. I can with you all. And it helps. Yes I am still leaving and yes I want peace and quiet. I won‘t die here. No thats not what I want. |
be careful with any mail. have your money sent directly to your NEW bank account, the account with ONLY your name on it.
first, if you are married, how did you file as single? did you claim the children? i was married when i filed claiming my daughter lucy but my accountant filed me as an "abandoned spouse".
plus i caught my ex at the mailbox taking the letters.
keep your eyes peeled for the money and don‘t let on.
you may want to pretend you want to paint the apartment?? take the beds apart and say you are going to rearrange the rooms, that way you can shove them in the van and haul ass.
i would just leave, don‘t worry about the lease and don‘t tell him where you are going. this is the most dangerous time for any woman being abused...right when she‘s near the door.
can you start a journal? maybe when you are at the bank opening a new account, you can get a safety deposit box and put the journal in there with any other small valuables?
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| malarkey marie |
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Posted: 1/21/2010 2:19 AM |
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Subject: Hands Off |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 500
Total Posts: 804
Vatican city
Finland
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| troubled10 wrote: | | Any one cantake me to Court. I am a VERY GOOD MOTHER. And I will never LEAVE MY KIDS. I‘m focused on keepingmy family together and Leaving here. Making sure I can support them and I WILL. I have friends here and I know that. |
do you have a cell phone? do you have a camera? get today‘s newspaper, put it on his bed, take a picture of the newspaper showing today‘s date and pictures of "his" side of the house.
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