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    WomanSavers.com Forum / ABUSE HELP / Bad mismatch

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Alpha89
  Posted: 11/4/2009 2:10 PM Subject: Bad mismatch
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So I seem to be involved in a bad mismatch or worse.  I still want to move forward and have a normal life.  I don‘t feel like moving forward anymore, and doing what this rightie guy wants just because he is lonely...I also want my own life and I am not getting the support or respect or anything at home now, really for the past year plus.  I don‘t want to get further stuck.  I‘m trying to turn things around for myself as fast as I can...every time I try to talk this over with him, he doesn‘t listen, I think he knows it is about up between us.  He doesn‘t even listen long enough for me to be able to talk to him, seriously.  He really isn‘t interested in my feelings mostly.

I never meant to hurt this person, though, and even though everything I‘m still so sad.  He is just not the same guy I met or who he said he was.  I was really in love with who he presented himself as...not him as he really is.  I don‘t see him having goals now or anything.  He seems to just try to keep me around by trying to tear me down, and he is actually losing me faster that way. 



Kitty Kitty
  Posted: 11/4/2009 8:26 PM Subject: Bad mismatch
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All you can do is be completely honest with him about how you feel. Don‘t leave out any details. Your feelings should be at the top of his list. If they‘re not taken into his consideration it‘s time to move on. That‘s not a true partnership.



shelbelle
  Posted: 11/5/2009 5:04 PM Subject: Bad mismatch
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Kitty Kitty wrote:

All you can do is be completely honest with him about how you feel. Don‘t leave out any details. Your feelings should be at the top of his list. If they‘re not taken into his consideration it‘s time to move on. That‘s not a true partnership.



what kitty said sounds so right! if he cant even make it a goal to keep you....well?


Rhiannon
  Posted: 11/7/2009 4:27 AM Subject: Bad mismatch
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Alpha - What is it that you want from us exactly?

Are you wanting permission to leave him? 

You‘ve been given a lot of advice.  I am not too sure - with the number of posts regarding your relationship - that you really want to take the advice given.  Are you hoping for different answers to your questions?

You can‘t change anyone but yourself.  What you need to ask yourself is whether this is a situation you can live with for the rest of your life.  And what if he never changes?  And if you decide to leave him, then what?



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