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HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOO, you need to get as far away from this man before he hurts you really bad. He is abusive. Continue to work on YOUR demons but he REALLY needs to work on his.
Simply leave have no contact with him.
I shook my head the entire time I read your story...This is abuse that WILL escalate.
DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!
Leave him and work on your problems...Get happy and healthy and when you look back...you won‘t even believe you thought of marriage with someone like that.
Dear BlackAbby,
I hear in the beginning that you are taking responsibilty for his abuse. He has convinced you that you deserve it.
Listen here whether you had a kiss with someone else or not...it does not constitute being punished for it years later.
There is a reason you keep leaving him. He keeps acting like this.
He keeps you in a room in order to control you. He is making you late for work so that you will lose your job. Then he can hold it over your head on "how you need to find your own food". This IS A FORM OF CONTROL. He finds your mistakes and punishes you for them.
Is the car in your name? Move out. Forget ever marrying this man. My husband seems like the nicest guy in the world to other people. But I know the truth. And so do you.
The best advice I can give you is to leave. Change your number, and don‘t look back. Then work on your self esteem that he has been eroding.