WomanSavers.com Forum / ABUSE HELP / So Many Chores

Alpha89 wrote:

I think my guy is giving me so many chores and starting fights about me so I feel too confused and too tired to leave.  One of the other posters had mentioned that, and I feel that way too.  I am getting job leads and instead of feeling happy for me, he seems angry, and I think he knows I‘m not putting up with his controlling crap forever.

That may have been me that mentioned it, Alpha.  I came to the realization that my ex was doing it to me at a very devastating family time in my life.   This is all done by design by these kinds of guys.  They know exactly what they‘re doing.  They‘ll never admit that, though.  Never. 

So sorry you‘re going through this now.

Why are you doing all these chores then?  Are you planning on leaving him soon?

A relationship is a partnership...not a dictatorship!

If you know you won‘t put up with this forever....maybe it‘s time for you to get an exit plan together and exit stage right...why waste anymore time with him...sounds like he‘s not worth one more second of it!

Thanks everyone for all the help.  I need it right now...I‘ve got one of those guys who puts me down all the time and its hard.  Its constantly, you suck at this or that, and calling me names, etc. every few days, and is super controlling I feel; and when I met him he was the total opposite.  He has male depression and has refused help.  He plays World of Warcraft all the time...not sure what to do with him.  I really liked him in so many ways so the whole thing is sad...think he is broken as a person so he can‘t give out love anymore.

How do you know he has male depression?

What do you like about him in so many ways?

I am guess the guy has male depression cause I live with him...the other answer is he‘s just an abuser.  I am not out to put his name out, just to get some help for myself.  I did like him when I met him.  I am surprised he could change that much.

When I try to talk to him, he says "time out" so he doesn‘t have to listen to anything I have to say.  Except I‘m just talking to him.  Then he claims he doesn‘t remember anything often when things DO happen.  I didn‘t know where to put his turtle tank in the house, and so he abused me over it a few days ago.

alpha...im sorry that you saw something different than what you got. it sounds so much like me its almost scary. i think i am kind of a magnet for guys like that and you cant see it right away until we see everyday how they view us. we can end up losing ourselves and even though we dont like the things they say to us somehow we begin to somehow believe some of it and soon we believe we are worthless unless we can guess what they want or how or they need things. soon the comments have worn us down so much that we hardly know anything else and then they start demanding things their way when ever they think about it. we go from walking on egg shells to being compliant cuz it just seems easier to make things alright.

is this the prince charming that you wanna spend the rest of your life with? would you want this man to be the father of your children?