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| DeeDee1 |
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Posted: 4/13/2009 5:06 PM |
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Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence |
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WomanSaver Regular
Female Member
Age: 51
Total Posts: 76
In the Woods
Indiana
United States
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| Miss Luvly1 wrote: |
 This was such a good thread. It was just what I needed when leaving my abusive husband.
I‘m still going through it, the divorce, the processes of how he can abuse me now. He is doing just what Rhiannon talked about. He is telling everyone how he has nothing, left with the shirt on his back, etc. Playing the kids against me.
I just wanted to make sure this thread didn‘t go away. It was essential in me making it out of my nightmare.
I want it to help someone else....and it‘s still helping me by the way. I just go back an reread. It hits home so well.
Thank you.
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It is good to read that you are staying strong and are getting out of your nightmare.
You are the only one who can make the changes needed for your happiness.
When it is apparent that he is not going to make changes, then moving on is all you can do. Going back when he is being abusive would be like digging your own hole.
Whatever BS he throws your way, stay strong.....  .
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| kaylar |
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Posted: 4/14/2009 2:02 PM |
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Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 57
.gif)
Total Posts: 437
kingston
Jamaica
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One of the ‘hidden‘ areas of abuse is when the Abuser seeks
to segregate the woman from others and gain singular input.
In this way he can invalidate what she believes or is feeling.
Many Abusers try to use the ‘everybody‘ argument, to make
the wife feel as if it is she alone who....(fill in the blanks).
I‘ve heard Abusers confront their wives with something like,
"WE don‘t tolerate that..." as if he speaks for an entire population.
Once a woman is able to validate an experience...
for example, when she learns not all women perform
fellatio, not all women swallow, and most of them do
not, nor is sex a consistent demi-rape, she begins to
appreciate that her Master does not Speak For Everybody.
One thing I have learned, it may take a long time, but
people find out the truth. The man who paints himself
as poor me will eventually betray why Wife threw him
out and the kids don‘t want to see him.
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| damaged1 |
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Posted: 4/15/2009 4:03 AM |
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Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 48
Total Posts: 42
Cicero
Indiana
United States
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Thank you both for writing and telling the stories in such a way as to related to each person. Your stories are eye-opening and have touched many. 
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| kaylar |
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Posted: 4/21/2009 4:00 PM |
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Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 57
Total Posts: 437
kingston
Jamaica
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Rhianna and I get along very well. As a lawyer I use real cases because it is easier to understand with an example then cut and dried clinical prose.
Many times women do not see themselves as abused because it isn‘t ‘like‘ what they saw on TV last night. Or they are too smart, too strong, etc. to be a victim.
In one case the 2nd wife, who had been schooled to view #1 as the worst thing that ever lived, only realised the truth when she was divorcing hubby.
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| shally |
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Posted: 5/26/2009 5:23 PM |
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Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
Total Posts: 1639
sitting pretty on
Isle of Man
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bump :)
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 7:53 PM |
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Subject: The Process of Domestic Violence |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 870
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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I am bringing this up again for Unsure76. I hope you all don‘t mind.
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