WomanSavers.com Forum / ABUSE HELP / I feel trapped and don‘t know what to do?

The last time I saw my exH was the morning he held a knife to my throat and kicked me with a pair of steel toe-capped boots on.

He started out "just" smashing my belongings and making me scared of his threats of potential violence.

Saying he was so, so very sorry afterwards.

Is there a womans shelter in your area you could atleast make contact with? Can you regain contact with your family members? Any friends who could support you?

I fear that he wont stop at "just" this type of behaviour and I‘d urge you to find advice and support from relevant domestic abuse agencies where you live. Even though this isnt actually physical abuse in its true sense, this is abuse.

Be strong, keep posting and look in to services in your area.

T

Hi again, thanks for your replies.

You gave me some helpful advice but I‘m so scared to leave him because of our son. He said that if I left with our child, he would stalk me and knows where my parents live and I know he would annoy them too if I moved back home. He owns everything in our house, and is the only one with money because he works. I don‘t have much, except the clothes on my back. Everyday, he is getting worse if we argue. I‘m tired of the jealousy and being controlled. All I do is cry everyday and I‘m so so depressed at the moment.

Honestly, I‘m scared to go to a women‘s refuge because I don‘t know what to expect and I don‘t have a car either.  :-(

He‘s pushing me now, bullying me, kicking the couch with me on it, breaks my stuff, calls me useless, lazy, unfit mother, using bitc* and everything else you can think of..

This only happens if we get into an argument over something stupid though. (like me chatting on msn to someone else )

God, I need help!

I‘m tired..i‘m not my self any more.

This man is really doing his best to control my life. I‘m not happy any more..He‘s to jealous, contoling, Secretive, possessive he finds anything or anybody to get suspicious.

And when he gets that way, he calls me every name in the book, he assumes I’m cheating on him then tell me that I’m this or that...Looks down at me...Uses my past to say it was my fault that the men did me wrong..Ohh yea he good to put the blame on you...

He went as far as to pulling my hair, pining me down on the couch but then when he comes to his senses he soo sorry and how GOD will destroy him and then the day after he calling me 10 million times that he loves me and he cares about me..Never say he is sorry...He has a very hard time saying that...He can’t accept that he does anything wrong...He will not do it unless he put you in some part of the blame when it wasn’t even your fault..

 He lied to me forever...But he accuses me for doing what he does to me...People are asking me why am I still with him?I want to leave but it’s hard to do it because he will make it harder by sticking around. I’m glad I found this web site...

You need to leave him no matter what his threats are....I left  Andrew almost 2 months ago after he beat me up,choked me and threatened to kill me.

 The abuse went from emotional and mental abuse slowly to physical and the first time he got physical he slapped me across the face and  before that he took out his Dart Gun and shot it my way but missed me on purpose and he also shot it at his dog as well once and that is considered a "scare" tactic. I have looked back alot and now realize that he was abusive in many ways.

IF you do not get out now he will end up either killing you or landing you in the ICU and I would not want to hear about that.  Andrew almost killed me before I finally lefth im for good. 

You need to call a shelter for abused women whenever you are able to and make up a safety plan,pack an emergency bag with clothes,extra key to the car,meds,etc and hide it where he will not find it....also talk to your neighbors and come up with a code with them that tells them to call 911 for you (ie turning off and on the porch light,something like that).

Get out no matter what!

Sherry

You need to get out....please read my last reply on this here because you should also do that.

Please get out before he beats you up.

I was warned by many people and I refused to listen and now I wish I would have so that I never would have been beat up,choked and etc.

Sounds familiar. It sounds like it‘s just a matter of time until he becomes physically abusive. Right now before you‘ve made any decisions, you need to get all important papers, birth certificates, car titles, insurance, passports, marriage certificates, school records etc. and put them somewhere safe, (I would put them in a safe deposit box) then open a P.O. box if you plan to have any important info sent to you that you want private (apartment contracts, money from family etc.) find out how to get to your local women‘s shelter should you need it. Remember that many men that have control issues get extremely angry if you leave them so if you leave plan ahead and be safe, be sure to have the phone service turned on so that you can dial 911 if needed, i learned this the hard way.  Remember that you do deserve to be treated wonderful and you deserve to be happy. You cannot change him. Good Luck my thoughts and prayers are with you.

(for me I deceided that it wasn‘t worth arguing with him and threatening to leave unless i was really going to go through with it.)