WomanSavers.com Forum / ABUSE HELP / i did the impossible

It will get easier,  the sadness will pass,  go out with your friends  and have fun!!

Good for you.Now take time to find your self and spend time with family and friends.

In time you will be so happy you got away from him and wounder why you even stayed so long.Time will heal all ,and if and when he tries to get back with him ,just stay strong and walk away from him,dont pick up the phone when he call‘s ,make him leave you a message and if he says anything bad take it to the police.

we are here to help you threw this all.

Wow! I am very impressed! Wish I was as brave as you.

I dont know your story but heres mine. 

I divorced my cheating of an ex husband after 30 years of marriage. Believe me I took a lot.

In the beginning I believed i was fat, ugly and stupid. All untrue and my friends and family made me believe that.

I didnt sleep in my own bed for 4 weeks and couldnt cook in my kitchen for 7 weeks. For 3 months I was on anti-depressants and sleeping pills. At times the pain was unbearable. 

Its been 3 years and I cant say I‘m happy, but I am content.

I thought I knew what happy was but what he did was run my ass off around the block. I finally got off that merry go round.

I was wise enough to keep my supportive, positive friends and family close.

It was like I kept a check list. The people that dragged me down, the negative ones, I disassociated myself with.

I joined 2 divorced/seperated supported groups at 2 churches.  I didnt like that. I found most people after 5 years were still greiving and I found it all to be too depressing and felt I could do better seeking positive instruction from others.     

Be good to yourself.

Here‘s mine!!

13 months ago I changed the door locks, house and mobile phone numbers, needed to, to protect myself.

Went about my life because the enormity of what I had done, hadn‘t yet sunk in YET I knew I couldn‘t tolerate the violence and abuse any longer. Waited a few weeks, months thinking my exh would send me those flowers and sorry cards. Really thought he would fight for me, chase me.Really thought he would see the error of his ways, see what he had done and would want to put it all to rights. Clung on in there thinking he would change and make me happy. Give me my dream.

Time went by, nothing. Saw exh out socially with a minger. Cried. Cried like a baby, spent every waking hour thinking about him. Thinking about me and how it was my fault. I wasn‘t good enough, thin enough, attractive enough or loving enough. Completely lost all sight of who I was and what I am.

Trudged on, coming here and reading, talking to friends and family. Trudged on reminding myself every single day that come what may that I really didnt deserve all the beatings and evil things he said to me, even if I couldn‘t make sense of it all.

Stuck with the pain and heart ache and the fuzzy head thoughts.

Went to work, cooked meals for me and Spug, walked the dog and paid the bills. Simply carried on the best I could. Allowed myself to cry, feel despair, write my jouranal and question every god damned thing bout myself.

Untill the day that all the good advice I had recieved made sense. Hurray.

Today I am good enough, I am thin enough and attractive enough and more importantly I am not to blame for his actions and behavious. No one in the whole world could make me do something I thought was wrong or horrible. No way!!

Today I feel happy, I actually like my life, like ME for all of me and that is priceless. Hang on in there and give yourself the time you need to heal and recover.

It occurred to me this weekend, for the first time in 13 months that I actually consider myself worth more tham my exh could give me. It took me a while to get my head around that, it was a struggle to say the least. I prayed for clarity and it is priceless. Stick with what ever you have to go through because the result at the end is worth more than you could ever imagine. You can do it, for all the times I thought I couldn‘t, I came here. Do the same and be what you deserve to be..... HAPPY

T

I did the impossible too...after 8 1/2 years, I threw him and his crap out...on April Fools Day...because he is a fool and was an abuser and trying to play me for a fool...

I‘m sad everyday because I miss the person he was when he was good...but I remind myself that 80% of the time he was abusing be one way or another...phsyically, emotionally or financially...

Right now my two teenage boys and I are losing our place to live ... and I have to remind myself that it‘s still better than living with him ... I am being forced now to go and live with my drunken ex-husband who is a fricking bigger loser than the guy I just left...and he lives with my father and my other oldest teenage son....

I feel "fckd" beyond recognition and everytime I go over there I want my abusive loser more and it hurts more that I had to send him away because he was what he was....

I feel better knowing there are others going through a similar situation...

At least you have yourself and in time you will get to know you again...it‘s been 90 days for me...right now I‘m just lost...i was doin ok even better till I found I had to move ...

When you miss him think of me and think...it could be a whole lot worse...