WomanSavers.com Forum / ONTARIO / Wonderful, kind polite, liar!

How do you deal with a sweetheart who would do anything for you except tel you the truth?

Not too sure I can label him narcissist or  sociopath, but he is a liar.

he is cheating online and he tells lies about the smallest things  (unnecessary lies.) they don‘t even keep him out of trouble , it seems to be lying for the sake of lying or to make him self look good. he has sever al online women who love him becuse he is soooooo nice and understanding towards them...

 He is a sweetheart, he helps with the housework takes good care of my health never has a problem sharing his money, will cook whenever I ask. but he wont tell the truth if life is depending on it.. What in hell can I do with him? He told me the same lies he is telling these other women...

he takes blame for any arguements we have saying "Blame me, it‘s always MY fault anyway" and he has a power struggle with the bosses at any job he has.   HELP!!

I like that idea of getting him into counselling if in so many ways he is a good guy. It is too tense living with someone lying all the time. If he is unfaithful that is different though and the problem is that if he lies about everything how do you really know anything about him?

I believe Dr. Phil did a show on compulsive liars and I wonder if the mayo clinic (www.mayoclinic.com) or another medical based site might have some starting point. When I have a concern I just type some key words into Google and see what comes my way.

I married a guy almost 2 years ago that seemed like he was so wonderful, understanding, compassionate-until our wedding night. Then out came an abusive drunk who not only ruined our wedding night, but lied about me for weeks after our wedding to cover his own behaviour. Belittled me to his co-workers, made up stories that were totally untrue-and when he was confronted after watching me cry for weeks on end in confusion as to why I was getting the cold shoulder at his work-he had a tear for the friend who allowed the confrontation (no longer a friend, of course).

I recently tossed him out the door-after going to councelling with him-which he quit-because facing all the lies and behaviour he continued to do was causing him too much anger-and then he quit therapy all together as "he was getting nothing out of it". Narcissim? I wouldn‘t doubt it for a second in this man-losing job after job because nothing was ever good enough for him-or he felt entitled to more, lying all the time, always needing to be the centre of attention-one upping everyone and never being wrong-even if it was staring him in the face.

It was the most painful time I can say I have ever experienced-and I know the tears he may shed now are not for me-there was never once an apology when he hurt me-he simply is trying to get back into my life-and there is no way he will. He needs serious mental health care, yet I worry he will move on as he has done for all his life and continue hurting others emotionally and financially.

All I can say is beware-lying is a definate red flag and there is no trust when you live with someone who lies to you....about things silly and severe! He lied in all ways-and blaming others for everything was a true characteristic he had in his whole life.