HI My tymetoshine,
I only saw your post now. I guess alot of us Canadians don‘t post under the Canada site much and usually use the general forums. So sorry.
A lot of controllers like to use comparisons to other women to make her feel bad, so I guess given your post headline, he may have tried that garbage. Sexist, Racist garbage cuts really deep and lots of us have experienced this, but sometimes it‘s twice as bad when they use different ways of emotional abuse, like combining racism or criticizing women based on size, religion or physical abilities.
Abusers are weak, not men and don‘t know how to look after a woman.
It‘s awful how abusers make us women feel. We need to support each other in rejecting the opinions of those who don‘t know our value and don‘t know their purpose in life.
Please consider getting more help from women‘s agencies like Assaulted Women‘s Helpline. To get numbers of community agencies in Toronto try dialing from your Toronto line, 211, which is the number for Community Information. They used to be open 24/7, hopefully still are and they have a website too. So many supportive agencies, many of which are woman focused.
I had a similar experience of losing various jobs because my ex would not leave me alone. Eventually, through calling 211, I got in touch with an amazing women‘s career counselling agency. It was super. They helped me not only with resumes, but with creating a career plan. Some of the jobs were posted at their location first because the employers wanted to help women first, and women who were determined to take career counselling because they saw us as better work candidates.
I was offered such cool jobs, but used their resources to create my own job and get the funding for it. So I took those sour lemons, my ex threw at me and made myself some refreshing lemonade, ending up with a career, when before I was a sales person (good honest job, but low pay).
Sometimes talking with the women on the Assaulted Women‘s Helpline is enough support, sometimes they may refer you to others. Barbra Schlifer Clinic is another great Toronto resource for women whose partners were abusive. There are just so many amazing support people in Toronto.
I‘m just on site occasionally, but you can also send me a private post and I think I get notified for that.
Some of my friends work in the Toronto Helping Women Community, so feel free to message me.
Please take care of you.
Wishing you Health, Wealthy & Happiness