New WomanSaver
Female Member
Age: 42
Total Posts: 1
Bedford
Texas
United States
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I just can‘t seem to get past the part that out of nowhere, my best friend, my lover, my husband & my hero of 24 happy, years just STOPPED loving me and wanting me! Not only did he have an ongoing affair with a women that is NO WHERE near his type ( she‘s not an attractive woman AT ALL), but have sex with her KNOWING she has an std from sleeping around so much... this is common knowledge that everyone knows... NOT a secret. She has sex with married men because according to her, " that‘s the only kind that will have me." And not only did he sleep with her, he abandonded me ( when I am in between jobs, we had just moved 24 years of our life and it was still sitting in fully packed boxes, stacked to the ceiling in the garage... and our 6 year old girl ( who wasn‘t even registered in kindergarden yet)is real clingy and shadows my every step. any further and left me a " I don‘t know how to tell you this, but I‘m leaving you. I‘m not happy. I‘m never coming back" Letter on the fridge, while she & I were asleep upstairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... to top it all off, he left me with a grand total of $60 to my name and the first months rent due in 10 days.... but the real kicker is he moved in with her... and has been living with her since the day, "the bottom" of my world fell out from beneath me, Feb. 19th, 2010. ( 7 weeks ago) Two weeks before our 24th wedding anniversary. I never saw it coming..... I trusted him. I‘ve never had a reason to doubt it. I knew he was the love of my life and I was his. We were happy, sexually and emotionally. Best friends. Our sex life remained smoking hot, up until the day he left me. The only thing that had changed was our finances. We started out with nothing when we first got married and we worked and saved, built our home, traveled and lived better than most...When our finances changed for the worse, so did he. He began to drink heavily, was either depressed or angry all of the time about what he had perceived had ‘happened‘ to us. He had to quit his job of 20 years($$$$) so we could cash in our 401K to help our son with his child custody battles he was fighting against his inlaws ( he won custody of his child, just to turn around and completely sign his child back over to them anyway!!!!) THAT is what changed something in my husband‘s mind,‘..... And then this disgusting lush of a woman who had been just a coworker and casual friend,(who had been to my house on several occasions & even spent the night because she got too drunk to drive) who worked the same night shift, truck driving for the same company began to have my husband‘s ‘ear‘ for 6-8 hours a night, every night for months and months. (approx. 6 months) They began to have an emotional affair. He told me and everyone else that he could not talk on his cell phone at night or he would get fired on the spot. (And he would have) So he wasn‘t talking to me.....yet, he RISKED IT ALL talking to her continuously for months!!?? He started to loose weight. That didn‘t alarm me. He had always worked out and his weight was always fluctuating. My husband is a nice looking man and has always been vain about his appearance. He started to wear his gold hoop earring in his left ear. That didn‘t alarm me either, because he went thru phases where he would wear it and then not.... He started to wear his hair longer... he stopped communicating with me at all, he acted like he didn‘t want to be around me... he even stopped looking at me, when I would ask him the simplest of questions, like... did you feed the dogs? He wouldn‘t even glance at me.... I thought he was just stressed out, and tired because he worked so many hours, because that‘s the nature of the beast, with truck drivers or he was just sooo depressed because of what our idiot son did...because by this time he had been getting smashed everyday when he got home. Which wasn‘t him at all. We normally saved that kind of thing for the weekends or socializing.. and of course, since my anti-depressants were working for me, I pretty much stopped drinking because I didn‘t need to ‘self medicate" every day after work anymore...I talked him into getting on an anti-depressant. I had been taking them for years, and they did miracles for me...Then he got to where EVERYTHING that I did, or didn‘t do Pissed him off... he was constantly ‘on me‘ from the time he walked in the door, to the time he walked back out for work again. He worked nights. I worked days and we literally only slept in our bed at the same time , on Friday nights... Friday‘s belonged to us....Our little girl, has ALWAYS been the ‘center of our universe‘....she‘s very special to us both and we‘ve always thought of her as our "Blessing"... then he started ‘staying on her‘, screaming and yelling at her, all the time. She‘s a very quiet girl and I found myself running ‘interference‘ for her, because I didn‘t want him screaming at her, when she was just trying to show him her newest ‘dance move‘... He began to bitch and complain non-stop about not having any money, spending too much money,and having to work all of these hours, yada yada yada... and for what? "We were losing everything and we never went anywhere anyways, etc, etc..( he had went to work for THIS trucking company, in Haslet within 2 months of quitting his money making job of 20 years, so we could get to our 401K) the last 3 months before he left, were the worst of our entire marriage. He was so mean and cruel!!! I‘ve never been much of a ‘crier‘... but the last 3 months, I cried everyday. I began to kind of ‘sink‘ inside myself. I withdrew. I withdrew from my friends, my family, everyone. I felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time. It was horrible... but nothing compared to the horror that was waiting for me, just a few weeks away...... and here we now sit. I got access to his cell records, online the Friday he left me, because he had turned his phone off and wasn‘t returning anyone‘s call... I was just going to start at the top of the list and start calling, to see if anyone had heard from him because at this point, I was thinking, " well, I‘ve done pissed him off about something again..." That morning, right after I woke up and read the note, I started texting him, " please come home, we can work it out, whatever it is, etc..." Well, I didn‘t have to call but ONE phone number... because it was basically the only number on his bill, for a solid 6 months. I called the number and LIZ answered the phone. I knew immediately, why he left me! I screamed and called her everything but a Child of God.! I went a little insane after that, I think... I couldn‘t wrap my mind around what was happening and what HAD BEEN happening and WHO it had been happening WITH......the man that had adored me up until a few months ago, left me for THAT????? An unattractive, whore, lush with a sexual disease???? NOONE that we know understands it. ALL of us have wept over it... it‘s like there‘s been a death... because Joe has always been everyone‘s "Captain America", that‘s who he was...he was the "good guy".... and now we don‘t know who he is!! 8 months ago if anyone would have told me, I‘d be sitting here, right now typing what I‘m typing, I would have had a good laugh and called them insane! He got that sexual disease from her in December of 09‘ and gave it to me. A good 8 weeks before we moved from our home or him leaving me.... it‘s DEVASTATING! But I don‘t think I could ever take him back... ( At the moment, he doesn‘t want to.) He‘s not the "Joe" I married. He‘s not ‘My Joe‘... he‘s a Joe I‘ve never met before and I don‘t know him or want to know him...yet, all of my adult memories, are happy ones and with him... It‘s been 8 weeks. I filed for Divorce, 2 weeks after he left me, and had still not bothered to try to even contact me...When he did call or text me, he would say, " I‘ll always love you but I‘m never coming back" or "I love you but I won‘t ever come back". .... THIS is what I don‘t understand! Why would he say something like this? I think it‘s because of his shame. Everyone we‘ve known for over 20 years, now knows he‘s not Captain America, he‘s an unloyal, lying, undiciplined cheater and WHO he thru it all away for. I hope it‘s everything he dreamed it would be.
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