"Are you fo real though? I just don‘t get why your Mother and sister are in on this."
Because of how cold some women can be. You think I‘m kidding? Let me regail you with a story from the MRA board I post at. It will shock you. It‘s a board member‘s own sister and mother cheated on their husbands yet they denigrate men as unfaithful hounds. I guess this would be an answer to Busty‘s question in my most recent topic here in MEN‘S AREA about what I think of feminists or feminism. Well certain, double standards irritate me. But then it does when anyone has them. On with the story.
I have an admission to make. I‘m schizo.
I must be. There are voices rattling around in my head. Three female voices, belonging to my mother, my sister, and my high school sweetheart. The last because she has been a family friend since way back when. She is currently married to my good buddy I‘ve known since elementary school.
Their voices say things like "Men are shallow. Men are uncouth. Men can never admit they are wrong. Men are afraid of commitment. Men treat women badly. Men can‘t communicate. Men are supported by their wives in their early careers, then later on when they become successful they dump their faithful, loyal wives for young bimbos. Men still expect women to serve them in the home, even if their wives work full time. Men refuse to grow up." In other words, the standard litany of male bashing bull**** we are well familiar with.
I don‘t want these voices in my head. They make me angry. I‘ve argued with these "ladies" my whole life, both in person and in my mind in an attempt to drown out the echoes of their shrill diatribes. Even though it is no revelation that they are full of ****, a realization I had while reading the rationalizations of the unfaithful wives on the womensinfidelity.com forum completely rocked me:
These hypocritical harridans, these raving bitches who presume to stand in judgement of Men - [b]all three of them have cheated on their husbands![/b]
Yes, my mother included. I knew something had happened to threaten my parents‘ marriage back when she was doing field work every summer in graduate school. I knew it had to do with my mom trying to have fun like the other single girls. I knew my parents almost got divorced, because I distinctly remember my Dad telling me I might have to choose wether to live with him or my mother. But this last Christmas one of my uncles, who is himself divorced, let drop in a private conversation with me: "I don‘t know why your dad stayed with that bitch after she cheated on him".
[Quick side story: All the women at these events love to pester me about finding the right girl and settling down. Earlier that same day, my cousin‘s wife was making conversation with my uncle and me. "Hey, when are you getting married? Even your Uncle here got married once" He came right back with "Yeah, I sure did. Worst mistake of my life."]
I met the guy my sister cheated on my ex-brother-in-law with. At least she‘s never denied it.
And I was the "Other Man" in my high school sweetie‘s first marriage. I‘m not proud of it. She ended up living with my sister and I briefly after her divorce. That‘s when she and my buddy fell in love and got married. Yes he knew she had been ****ing me, he even accidentally walked in on us once, earlier when he and I were roommates and she was still married to her first husband. Would it surprise you to hear that she has since cheated on him with at least three guys, random guys she picked up in a bar. One was literally a crack head. Oh, and did I mention this would be after she became morbidly obese?
To the best of my knowledge, their husbands didn‘t cheat on them, though cupcake‘s first husband did leave her for another woman. He had never forgiven her, and the reason I think he didn‘t cheat is because he was looking for an excuse to leave anyway. As soon as he had someone lined up, he was out. There was no need to hide or sneak around.
[Note to self: I should look that guy up. I owe him an apology and a beer. He might punch me in the face anyway. I‘d deserve it.]
So all three of the most important women from my formative years are faithless whores. That would be 100%, and one is a multiple offender. No wonder I have such a lousy opinion of women. No wonder I‘m not married. No wonder I‘ve been skeptical of a woman‘s motives when pushing for marriage. I already knew about two of them, and was already pretty sure about mom even before my Uncle‘s blunt statement. But for some reason I hadn‘t really put it all together consciously until reading those ****s on the forum justify behavior that if done to them would cause them to go berserk.
And as if that wasn‘t enough of mind ****, episodes with the other women in my life serve to reaffirm my lack of faith in women generally:
I never have told you guys the full story of the American-born Chinese girl (she referred to herself as "ABC") who was stringing me along in college. I‘ll have to do that, but for my purposes here, let‘s just say that she was setting me up as "Plan B"...[i]while she was living with her fiancé.[/i]
I‘ve also never told the story of the hot little latina I hooked up with shortly after I graduated from college. I‘ll have to do that too. Again, for now it should suffice to note that she started calling me to hook up for sex starting a year or so after we broke up. This while she was living with her new boyfriend, while she was engaged to him, and even [i]after [/i]she had married him.
There‘s the girlfriend who became the long-distance girlfriend when I moved to the bay area. Things were great, until after I was her date at her Mom‘s (third) wedding. Then she went ice-cold. I heard she hooked up with some guy she met in a hiking group.
Then there is the sociopath I dated where I‘m currently working. [Yeah, yeah, don‘t say it. I even TOLD her as things were heating up it was a really bad idea.] She was living with a guy who had moved out with her from New York to be with her. Poor dude had no idea what hit him. One week they are fine, the next she has gone ice cold [hmm...seems familiar somehow] and she tells him he should move back to NY. She promised me The Sun, The Moon, and The Stars. She said "We should just get married." When I couldn‘t commit to that so soon, then it was "At least promise we will be friends forevever."
Less than two weeks after that incident she dropped she me flat to date a different guy from work. When that didn‘t work out either, she broke down and bought a house with her sister. I know the NY dude was having trouble landing a job, so I think she was really expecting one of the two of us employed suckers would buy that house for her.
Could it be I seek out such women? Well, let‘s see how my friends have done:
Continuing on the theme of husbands as housing donors: Less than two years ago, against my objections, a good friend of mine who is handsome successful Catholic of Italian descent got married to a JAP. I had this feeling she had targeted him simply because she was running out of time and options; The big "Three-Oh" rolled up on her with no better prospects in sight. He has admitted that within a year she was already using the "D" word in their arguments.
Point is, while I was in town for their wedding and visiting their newly purchased house in SoCal, I was alone for a bit with his new bride and her sister. When she pointed out "His" rec room, I flatly stated "Right - this is his room, but it is YOUR house." Before they could stop themselves sister started nodding and wifey "shushed" me. Quckly they realized what they had let slip, and of course they said they were just kidding around, but it was clear to me they were just taken aback that I knew what was up, and had caught them out with my matter-of-fact delivery.
This all after his lifelong friend, who is also a mutual friend, married the girl of his dreams and moved to Chicago. After having his kid, she divorced him and is now living with a Muslim. Our friend has to pay child support, gets minimal visitation, and has NO say in how his son is raised. And since he himself was raised Irish Catholic, you can imagine he isn‘t happy about the arrangement.
How about my very first roommate, a guy freshly divorced who had so little money left after turning over most of his pay to his ex-wife and son, that there were times he either had to starve, or beg me for a share of the food I had to buy with funds I got from donating plasma...
Or another roommate that had his most of his wages garnished by the state while he was just separated from his wife and children, because she thought he wasn‘t living up the the standards of the Mormon church. Not that she felt any compunction to act like a good Christian wife...
But of course these thoughts are just because I‘m bitter, they say. I‘ve never known true love, they suppose. My heart is made of stone, and I‘ll die a lonely broken man, they tell me.
Yet lately, a louder voice drowns out these remnants of those harpies‘ harangues, a voice in my head that keeps repeating a question. A question that all men should ask themselves after surveying the wreckage Men‘s lives have become in this day and in this culture. The question that has drawn us all to this place, a question with no answer:
"Why would I want to even date an American-born whore, let alone marry one?"