WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / Please define what you believe to be a "goodguy."

Do I detect another woman telling a nice guy to stick his head in the wood chipper just because some woman who is getting older and played the field can‘t find a meal ticket now? Do I detect another woman basically proving DC‘s point that men need to listen to other men and not women?

It‘s not DC‘s fault if these women couldn‘t grow the **** up in time and he shouldn‘t settle for being settled.

Oh Jeez. What the hell am I thinking some women never grow up. Like some on this board who have double standards about female and male cheating and whether or not divorce should come after.

Some like these also never grow up. Age is not a sure fire indicator of wisdom and decency.

Drew J Posted: 2/14/2010 1:47 AM
http://www.womansavers.com/forum-for-women/mens-area/76/23365.html

Michelle Langley‘s book WOMEN‘S INFIDELITY
http://www.womansavers.com/forum-for-women/mens-area/76/23245.html

Yet Another Horrifying Story about western women
http://www.womansavers.com/forum-for-women/mens-area/76/23205.html

"Do I detect another woman telling a nice guy to stick his head in the wood chipper just because some woman who is getting older and played the field can‘t find a meal ticket now? Do I detect another woman basically proving DC‘s point that men need to listen to other men and not women?"

It‘s not DC‘s fault if these women couldn‘t grow the **** up in time and he shouldn‘t settle for being settled. "

Drew, Drew, Drew...you have such a chip on your shoulder, that you really just don‘t get it.  Leave it to you to try to twist my words. 

First of all, guys, if a woman passes you up, you shouldn‘t lose sleep over it, and you shouldn‘t be bitter.  If she is narcissistic, immature, a player, etc., then consider yourself lucky if she‘s not attracted to you, and consider that you have dodged a very big bullet.  Consider yourself lucky not to have someone like that in your life.

If she was the right person, it wouldn‘t be an issue.  If the wrong woman is out of your life, you are better off.

I think it‘s a mistake for most people to get married before the age of 30, because it takes a long time for most people to mature, to know who they are, and to fully grow up.  I think there is something to be said for knowing who you are before you make the commitment to be with someone for life. Chances are, you will make better choices because you‘ve been around the block for a while.

How is that telling some man to put his head in a wood chipper? 

I think both men and women can be really superficial in their choices of a mate.  In our teens and 20‘s, we put so much emphasis on a guy or girl being "hot" and having sex appeal..  And although it‘s natural to be attracted to good looks, those things have nothing to do with what kind of person they are, or what constitutes a good relationship.

When I read Dagger‘s last post, for examle, I hear that he likes how women look, and how women smell.  He‘s describing their physical characteristics.  There is nothing posted about why he likes women as people.

Therein lies the problem.  It is difficult to find the right person when you are attracted to the wrong things.

Waiting isn‘t "settling for being settled."  "Settling" is going after a partner who isn‘t right for you just because you‘re afraid of  being alone.  Hold out for the real thing.

Touche‘s topic here was about what we consider to be a good guy.  Most of us here have had plenty of experience with the bad ones, so trust me, women do not have a corner on that market.

dg....you said something about hypocrisy so after i looked it up to make sure i knew what it meant i thought i would post something.

when i was a senior in high school...me and two other girls did a project for one of  our classes. we went to malls and even stood outside restaurants to ask men one question.

we asked them:

would you be willing to be viewed, treated, and live to the expectations every day ...for the rest of your life...the way females are viewed, treated, and expected to be everyday?

every male said "no", none said yes and none said maybe. they didnt even have to think of their answer.

that would suggest that men know how we are viewed, know how we are treated, and know about the expectations on us. it would suggest that knowing all these things males dont want the same thing for themselves and were fine  letting us be the ones.

hypocrisy?

LOL!  You have not presented anything worth responding to! 

However,I will give you some friendly advice......your time would be better served exploring what you DO like in woman rather than this bitching spree your on!  We‘ve all ran into losers and jerks.  Learn to put a smile on your face and say "Oh well....NEXT!  LOL  Cause darlin...you‘re not going to change the world.  Your only real option is to find what you‘re looking for....and the hell with the rest.  :)

Cheers and good luck to you!  :)

drew...we asked only that one question and it was males of all ages that we asked at malls and coming out of restaurants.

Shellbelle, that’s quite the scientific study you conducted there.  One question (which was leading and biased, by the way), and no control for the experiment.  I echo another poster above me when I wonder what the answer would be if the tables were turned.  Would you, ma’am, be willing to swing the hammer, weld the steel, log the timber, and work 8-10 hour days doing these jobs?  Of course you wouldn’t.  But that is neither here nor there.  The truth is, I like being a man just as much as you enjoy being a woman.  None of us want to be anybody else (unless you’re a pathetic simp). 

So I’ll wait for the results of your scientific survey.  I expect statistically relevant data including standard deviations and also expect to see a breakdown of your methodology.  Please and thank you.

Would you like to see some examples of the hypocrisy to which I refer, Shelbelle?  This article was written by a panel of both MEN AND WOMEN and points to the glaring hypocrisy inherent within the feminine movement and which exists today.  Keep an open mind.  Scroll to the bottom of the page and click the link which says “Have A Look Here.”  It’s not propaganda.  It’s a statement of the current situation that contains facts and figures which are undeniable.

 http://www.trueequality.com/

ToucheBaby,

I already KNOW what I like in women.  The problem arises when I don’t see those qualities in women anymore these days.  Are we a product of our upbringing or our environment?  Let me tell you how I was raised.  I was raised in a two-parent household by loving parents that cared for us unconditionally.  My dad worked hard and mom made sure that our other needs were met (she also worked, but not until the youngest was of school age).  Was raised in the church, went to a private school, and had many opportunities that others did not.  The disconnect between how I was taught to treat women and what women actually responded to, came much later in life.  I couldn’t figure out how a nice guy like me who had his **** together (or so I thought) couldn’t land (or keep) a nice girl.  Well, I saw men around me behaving differently than what I was taught in regards to women.  It blew my mind.  “How could a nice girl like that be with such an ASSHOLE?” I wondered.  As it turned out, I was being a huge *****.  I take full responsibility for that.

I would call women, and they would retreat.  I’d try to befriend them, and they’d retreat.  I would pay for dinners and nights out.  They would eat and run.  And then, my dear, I wised up.  I stopped all the chivalrous b.s. and my results were nothing less than stellar.  I got a girlfriend right away, and kept her.  She was in my class in high school and was the hot cheerleader I always wanted to date.  Unfortunately, she had racked up serious cc debt, lived with her parents, and had developed a healthy cocaine habit (unbeknownst to me).  My former *****-self would have put up with it because she was a hot piece.  But my new-found self told her to kick rocks. 

You see, I became a product of my environment.  I was dealing with a completely different woman in the real world than what I had been taught.  Sadly, not enough men out there figure this out.  And believe me Touche, I’ve nexted my fair share of women.  I can walk away and cut contact with the best of them. 

BubbleCropper,

Sure I’m going to stir the pot a little.  But I’m not intentionally here to roust your feathers.  I’m here to open a mind or two.  I’m not out to change the world.  Having a strong and informed opinion on a particular topic does not equate to me being a troll.  So quick to judge.  Tsk tsk.

Rhiannon,

Not everything I said about women in my post to which you last referred dealt with looks.  I also said that I liked their feminine ways.  How does that refer to looks?  What I mean by “feminine ways” is that I like a woman to act like a woman.  If I wanted a woman that acted like a man, I’d date guys.  In fact, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.  I could double my tools and wardrobe in an instant! 

Don’t you want a man to be a man?  You don’t want to be with some wishy-washy man incapable of making a decision on his own, do you? 

Man to woman:  “Oh, I don’t know honey.  What do YOU want to do???”

Just like you want a real man, I want a real woman.  I’m capable of saying that there aren’t enough real men out there, but no one here is capable of saying that there aren’t enough real women either. 

Most of you will think I’m on a bitching spree.  Well, I’m not.  In fact, that’s what men said about women during the civil rights movement.  They thought you were all just on this big bitching spree.  (I am woman!  Hear me roar!)  They gave you no merit.  So really, where is the true equality that you’ve been championing all these years?   If it’s revenge that women want, then I’m sorry.  Revenge just isn’t sexy and it’s counterproductive to anyone’s cause.

dg....i am not here to have my "feathers" ruffled as you say. if you want to dismiss the survey i did in high school and find no meaning in it that is your choice.

i am not going argue with you since it seems like that is why you are here. i just wont answer any of your posts.

Sellout.  You‘re a sell-out.  Thats all you are.  BTW You dont sound like a very happy one  either.

Guess what?  There are just as many loser men as there are loser women.

You keep up with your "if you cant beat them ...join them" nonsense and you‘re going to miss what you‘re really looking for.

Ive met my share of jerks and losers BUT Ill be damned if they  have the power to flip me to their side of life.   The jaded,the users,the losers.  Many have tried.  Oh hell no.  I still believe in the real thing.  Theres somebody for everyone...its just a matter of finding them.

You should really consider how you‘re going to feel once you realize you‘ve became what you so dearly despise.

Dont be a dumbass dude!  LOL

dg....thank you for your invitation to join the "discussion" and learn more about how men think.

i know how men think thank you very much.

"Rhiannon,

 Not everything I said about women in my post to which you last referred dealt with looks.  I also said that I liked their feminine ways.  How does that refer to looks?  What I mean by “feminine ways” is that I like a woman to act like a woman.  If I wanted a woman that acted like a man, I’d date guys.  In fact, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.  I could double my tools and wardrobe in an instant!" 

Define "feminine ways."  The point is, you‘ve said absolutely nothing about a woman‘s personality, character, intelligence, or sense of humor.  Nothing to characterize who she is as a human being.  And yet, you call women "superficial." 

And personally I wouldn‘t lose any sleep over you dating guys.  It doesn‘t sound to me like you like women in the first place, so you might as well.

"Don’t you want a man to be a man?  You don’t want to be with some wishy-washy man incapable of making a decision on his own, do you?"

Well, sure.  I like a man who‘s strong and confident and knows who he is.  I also like a man who works hard, pays his bills, takes good care of his kids, and has some honor and integrity.  But I am more than capable of making my own living, and I always have.  Men are an asset - not a necessity.  I quit looking for the "knight in shining armor" long ago, and quite honestly, I don‘t feel I am missing out on anything.

"Man to woman:  “Oh, I don’t know honey.  What do YOU want to do???”

What‘s wrong with that?  Maybe he really doesn‘t care?  Would you find it so offensive if a woman said that to a man?  I think relationships are full of give and take and compromise.  Doing what the other person wants is part of being in a relationship.  It only becomes a problem when it‘s a one-way give, and someone takes advantage of the situation.  I said "I don‘t care" many times when I was married, because I really didn‘t care.  On the other hand, if I really wanted to do something, I spoke up.

 "Just like you want a real man, I want a real woman.  I’m capable of saying that there aren’t enough real men out there, but no one here is capable of saying that there aren’t enough real women either." 

I consider myself a "real woman" in every sense of the word, and I don‘t need any man to define what that is for me.  You might consider that if you are alone, there is probably a real good reason for it.  I am alone - by choice.  I am at peace with myself.  I‘ve never had any trouble attracting men, and I don‘t resort to "feminine wiles" either.  I just like my independence - no drama and no stress.

I agree with Touche.  As long as you focus on what you despise, you‘re going to turn into the very thing you despise.  Bitterness and misogynistic behavior isn‘t sexy or attractive.

 "Most of you will think I’m on a bitching spree.  Well, I’m not.  In fact, that’s what men said about women during the civil rights movement.  They thought you were all just on this big bitching spree.  (I am woman!  Hear me roar!)  They gave you no merit.  So really, where is the true equality that you’ve been championing all these years?   If it’s revenge that women want, then I’m sorry.  Revenge just isn’t sexy and it’s counterproductive to anyone’s cause."

Speak for yourself!  You sound a lot more vengeful than the women here.  You should take your own advice about revenge not being sexy.

Hey, the women‘s movement achieved A LOT of opportunities for women.  We aren‘t just nurses, secretaries and teachers anymore.  A lot of us are doctors and lawyers, dentists, and veterinarians today.  Sorry, there‘s no going back to the caveman days where it was illegal for women to own property, to vote, or to use birth control, and it was legal for men to beat their wives.  Times have changed.  I think you need to get over it.