WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / ladies, what about this situation

I hope you find somebody that treats you wonderful and that makes you very happy.

Okay, all insults aside...

I wouldn‘t have taken offense, Mr. True Blue, at that woman‘s comment.  I would have taken it as a compliment.  She wasn‘t "settling" - she was admitting that she finally grew up.  Her friends were recognizing that you are a keeper.

Oh I wouldn‘t call it "offense" to what she said.  just put off by it just a little.  But it was enough to throw up a red flag for me.  She wasn‘t just saying she is through with jerks.  That I wouldn‘t have even flinched at.

But when she said, "they were fun in their day", you would have thought her friends were like deer in a headlight.  They had this look on their face even before I said "excuse me".

Like I said, that‘d be like me in a more direct way saying, "ya, those hot bodied stripper type women were delicious in their day....BUT" (no, I don‘t date strippers and never was ever superficial....just saying thats what it would be like me saying in front of her...tell me that wouldn‘t put you off)

And there was no anger.  I‘ve learned that getting angry over a woman serves me no purpose and it isn‘t worth it.  I had enough turmoil with the xwife, its not what I want for my life.

She was more or less admitting that she had a history of dating losers and jerks.

by feeling the need to say in front of me that they were fun??  Have you ever said something you knew you shouldn‘t have said or messed up in saying, and there is that awkward look on your face after you said it?  That was not only her, but her friends as well.  She knew what she had done even before I chimed in.

To break up over a comment like that tells me there wasn‘t much of a connection to begin with. 

I think there was, but the connection was loosened after that night.  Like I said, we didn‘t break up that night, but over the course of the next few weeks I just wasn‘t feeling it anymore.  She threw up a red flag and I now had to wonder.  I don‘t want any more relationships where I have to wonder.

I think your ex-wife has jaded your thinking.  I definitely understand that, but California Girl is right that until you are over the pain of that, you will sabotage relationships.  Deep down, you are not over it.

I am VERY over it.  The day I was granted the divorce was the best day of my life!  I know you won‘t want to believe it, and if it were true, I wouldn‘t have any problem admitting it.  But it just aint so.  She was a tramp and I‘m soooo glad to be free from that.

You have to get rid of the anger. 

There is none.  Oh I get annoyed at cheaters now and then because they disgust me, but I wasn‘t angry at the last gf because of what she said.  I just knew after her revelation of how delicious the bad boys are that she wasn‘t the one for me.

Do yourself and everyone else a favor, though, and don‘t date.  Otherwise, you will take it out on whoever you are with. 

what happened to me with my x-wife has nothing to do with the behaviors that a current relationship partner exhibits.  If someone I am with does something to put me off...it has nothing to do with the x-wife...it has everything to do with how they are with me.

 If you don‘t like or trust women, be honest about that fact, and don‘t date until you meet one that you really think is worth getting to know better.

I trusted the last one until she made her comment.  I got to know her, then she said what she said and I realized I didn‘t know her as well as I thought.

All men aren‘t the same.  All women aren‘t the same either.  It‘s the partners we pick.  It‘s the choices we make.  Lots of people have wonderful relationhips.  And there are a lot of decent single people out there.

I agree.  I just realized that she wasn‘t for me.

We‘ve talked a lot on here about women being attracted to bad boys.  What kind of women are most of you men attracted to?  What were the women like that you dated?  What qualities did they have that drew you in?

oh I‘m not picky.  never have been.  actually the women I have been attracted to have never been physically perfect..since that what alot of women seem to think all men want...not so.  I pick women on how they interact with me.  Sure there has to be an attraction and for me that would be in the eyes and smile...nice hair doesn‘t hurt either.  But never have I had much use for women that seem to have a perfect body and all that.  Seems they are all too full of themselves and that isn‘t the kind of personality that jives with mine.

so what qualities drew me in?  ultimately, the way we interact.

You can talk about women being superficial in their choices, but what about guys?

I have never said guys are NOT superficial in their choices.  as a matter of fact I think guys tend to be more superficial, therefore making it harder on guys like me, since we are all seen as dog‘s : \  *wink*

I‘ve been passed over by many a guy for one of those girls.  The only thing it tells me is that he‘s not the right guy for me.

EXACTLY!!!  Which is the same thing I am saying with this girl.  If she was constantly attracted to the bad boys, just as you were passed over by guys for the "big tits" and all....then her comments told me that she was not the right one for me.

MTB...thank you for taking the time to really read and understand my situation....I feel that I was pushed to do what I did, but ultimately I take full responsibility for my actions. It was wrong, but hindsight is horseSHIT because it doesn‘t change anything. Princey knows all of that part of my life, and he is ok with it.....that‘s all that matter‘s to me. When I met my ex he was a "bad boy" in my eyes....much older....the whole nine yards. Yes he became abusive, but I went out with him because of the allure to that type of man. As I said before.....it was MY sick thought processess that made me think that that kind of guy was ok to date......WRONG!! I meant no disrespect to you in my earlier posts....just sharing my experiences and opinions....okie dokie??

NOW as for Africanguy.....

You‘re just a sick FUCK!! Lay off Rhiannon, and don‘t even bother to try to insult her or sully her reputation. Ain‘t gonna work here dude.

You‘re a snot nosed PISS ANT....go wipe your nose.

You are so one sided its alarming!

Go to any nursing home and talk to the nurses.  There is no expiration date! You‘ll find just as many elder badboys as the elder women chasing them!  Some people never grow out of it.

Thats what you dont get.  People grow and change.  While some stay the same. His GF realized she deserved/wanted better than badboys.  She‘ll find it too.  MTB did her a favor. 

If his GF wanted a badboy...she would date one.  She wouldnt have bothered with MTB at all.  What part of that dont you understand?

You are so one sided its alarming!Go to any nursing home and talk to the nurses.  There is no expiration date! You‘ll find just as many elder badboys as the elder women chasing them!  Some people never grow out of it.

If there is one thing I am not is one sided. Like I said, I don‘t feel sorry for people just because they are men, and people here know that is true. If the guy wants to play the role of cuckold, I really don‘t feel sorry for him. If the guy is cheated and still keep the wife, his problem. And it‘s kind of ironic of you to say that I am one sided...

And read my other post to know what I mean. I don‘t think women ever want nice guys. It‘s just that when they are old, their priorities change. So after they divorced the jerk they will find a fool for the stability and support. But many of them will still cheat on them anyway...

Thats what you dont get.  People grow and change.  While some stay the same. His GF realized she deserved/wanted better than badboys.  She‘ll find it too.  MTB did her a favor. 

But consider the others factors. What if MTB wants a serious relationship with her ? Are they going to live together ? Is she bringnig kids from those so called "badboys" to MTB to take care of ? I am simply saying that is not worth for a man to play that role.

If his GF wanted a badboy...she would date one.  She wouldnt have bothered with MTB at all.  What part of that dont you understand?

It‘s you who aren‘t even trying to understand. She said clearly that she wanted MTB for his stability. She did not said, "Oh, I like MTB so much, wish I could have met him sooner". She said "bad boys were fun in their days, but NOW I want stable".

She certainly used to party with all kind of crook and jerk out there, and now that she is geting old, her priorities have changed. Like I said, it‘s not that she has changed, it‘s just that as age comes, some realities of life started knocking on the door, so she NEEDS to change.

So suming up, you have women who party their lifes, then when the fun time is over, they want a stable guy for them to settle. And let me tell you, no man wants to be the guy for when the fun is over. They want to be the guy FOR the fun.

And simply if you read what I said about others factors, you will see that, EVEN if she had really changed, it doesn‘t matter much. Still not worth for a man to play that role.

NOW as for Africanguy.....You‘re just a sick FUCK!! Lay off Rhiannon, and don‘t even bother to try to insult her or sully her reputation. Ain‘t gonna work here dude.You‘re a snot nosed PISS ANT....go wipe your nose.

And MTB is the angry one...

Can anyone see the irony here ?

Hahahahahahaha........

I‘m not being rude...I‘m being HONEST!!! What‘s wrong??? Can‘t take hangin‘ the the adults???

FYI....it may appear as if I‘m screaming when I type the cuss words in capitol...not so...If you don‘t, it blocks them out....LOL....and everyone that really knows me here, knows how much I loooooooove my cuss words......

Good luck as you grow up and mature sicko.....

People grow up and find/discover what is important in life.

Its a shame you dont understand that. 

You have a very negative attitude towards relationships and women in general. Perhaps,you‘ll find a good woman who can show you the way.  Now wouldnt that be ironic!  LOL

People grow up and find/discover what is important in life.

Good for them. So what ? What anyone else has anything to do with it ?

You have a very negative attitude towards relationships and women in general. Perhaps,you‘ll find a good woman who can show you the way.  Now wouldnt that be ironic!  LOL

I am in a long term relationship with an almost 5 year younger woman, who is a hard working woman who isn‘t wasting her life with suckers. Now who is assuming wrong things, hm ?

What you call a "good woman", is not what I would call a good woman. Hence why our disagreement about this specific case.

Funny that!  LOL  You probably have yourself confused with a nice guy too.  Your attitude is farrr from that.  In all reality your‘re just a judgmental asshole. 

Nice guy ? I am anything but nice. I never said anything about me saying a nice guy. Here is you assuming things again.

Now you throwing offenses cause you don‘t have have any arguments left.

How novell...

OMG!!

She is with you and you say she isn‘t wasting her time?

Let me also clear up something that may be misconstrued.

I‘m not saying that anyone that was attracted to "bad boys" is not worthy, and not worthy of me either.

Its just if that was your taste, don‘t diminish the notion that you are through with "bad boys" by, in front of everyone, basically saying how "fun" they were in front of  your guy.

That is what she did and what turned me off.  That she said this in front of me.  If she use to date "bad boys", ok, fine....leave it at that.  I don‘t want to hear how "fun" she thought they were and didn‘t need her comparing me to them.

THAT is what I had the problem with.

boy, I must have hit a nerve with you.

if she deserved better than "bad boys" as you say, then she could have refrained from comparing me to them and feeling the need to let me know how "fun" they were.

I‘m sorry, a past is a past, but i don‘t need to hear crap like that.  If she thought they were "fun", then she can keep it to herself.

I did MYSELF a favor.

and don‘t tell me if a man of yours were to tell you about how delicious the women he use to date were that you wouldn‘t want to hit him upside the head with a frying pan.