WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / ladies, what about this situation

MTB missed a shot at teaching her nice guys rock. 

No, I showed her that a nice guy can have a backbone and realize that she wants that piece of cake badly.....she just doesn‘t want it to go to her waist.

Instead he ran off pouting!

LOL.....ya...ok

And to think you wonder why the good guys come up emptyhanded!!!!!!!!! LOL!

they come up empty handed because of the women just like the one I left.  Like I said, even her friends knew she had effed up with that comment.

MTB,  I totally understand where you are coming from,  but to be honest with you,  I wouldn‘t think a thing about saying that I was done with the bad boys, to my BF.  He would just say something back like,  you realized that the niceguys are better in everyway, or something witty.

I think that if you were in a great relationship  that her comment wouldn‘t have bother you so much.  I don‘t feel she settled for you. 

LOL  You stated the men in here didnt agree with me.  I was stating the men in here are very insecure.  Making your point irrevelent.  Not only are you judgmental...you are quite assuming as well.  You have assumed many incorrect things about me.  I havent bothered to correct you. 

Why bother?

I could order a black cup of coffe and somehow you would construe...twist it into thats how I like my men.  You twist comments to suit your screwed up theories.

You are a very uncompromising soul.  Considering the discussion is about MTB...I will correct you on one thing.  Im not speaking on his GF‘s behalf.  I was trying to help him see he was unecessarily harsh and took her comment completely out of context.  He might have missed out on a good relationship. With all due respect...she was saying she was done with badboys.  His insecurity in not measuring up to  badboys ...baffles me!  Why on earth would he feel a badboy has anything on him?????

MTB.....ya want to hear something weird??

When I was with the last "bad boy"...(the drunken ex-husband)....I was soooooo miserable that at year 13 of our horrendous marriage, I cheated on him. I had had enough of his SHIT. Now I know it was NOT the best decision I ever made, and I don‘t profess to walk on water.

Since I changed my whole perspective of men and found "Princey"......I have NEVER once in 16 years felt the need to look or go elsewhere.....and I NEVER will!!

So no offense.....but, I don‘t buy the unfaithful  track record comment. I think women who play with those kind of sharks end up making poor choices......I know I did.

Now, I never have to worry about that kind of SHIT again. Alas, I am happy with MY gorgeous, nice, stable, hard working, genuine, honest guy. In fact I have said it here before, and I will say it again......He is totally my "best friend" and the nicest man I have ever met in my entire life.

AND I GOT HIM!!!

I thank God everyday that I took that chance when he asked me out, and I said yes. Good riddance to the "bad boy" trash is what I say.

MTB, I never said you were boring. I was saying that is secretly what your now ex girlfriend thought of you and we all know it despite what other women on here deny to be the facts.

As for Touchebaby‘s comments, I find them hilarious because saying you could have showed her how great you were as a nice guy, rests on the false premise that your girlfriend believed nice guys could rock or impress her as much as the bad boys of her past.

As for you evesdrop, good for you for admitting you were the slut in the relationship who cheated. You could have just left sooner though. Although when you say you really like your nice guy, I have trouble believing you when you imply you wouldn‘t go back if you could just find a bad boy who was less bad. That‘s just me and my experience watching what women say and what they do behind their new guy‘s back and also given their past.

As for you touchebaby, getting upset at someone being judgemental like MTB is stupid and hypocritical because you women judge men on this board all the time.

MTB, I say you were right to walk away because this women still has bad boy tough guys in her system and in her dreams. If these women don‘t have the taste for guys like you, you won‘t make them no matter how nice you are. They and millions like them will have to suffer in silence and deal with men walking away from them until things in the larger picture start to correct themselves. Not least of which include more fair divorce laws for men, including victims of cuckoldy and paternity fraud. But you won‘t see feminist judges fixing that soon. Because even though they try to shame men like you for looking out for number one and saying you should get with women, they still wish to divide men and women because they‘re just abusers and pigs anyway. And if the women cheated, oh it must have been his fault. Every case must be like what evesdrop described about being driven away. No evidence in court. Just her word.  

****As for you evesdrop, good for you for admitting you were the slut in the relationship who cheated. You could have just left sooner though. Although when you say you really like your nice guy, I have trouble believing you when you imply you wouldn‘t go back if you could just find a bad boy who was less bad. That‘s just me and my experience watching what women say and what they do behind their new guy‘s back and also given their past. ****

Drew......Let me first start off by saying that you can kiss my FUCKING ASS......

You know nothing about me other than what I let you know. I admit I cheated....BIG FUCKING DEAL!! If that means I‘m a slut...then so be it. At least I‘m a HAPPY SLUT NOW.....LOL.....I left when I knew it was SAFE to leave. And that was after enduring over 2 more years of his SHIT. After all he put me through because of my kids, I still helped him as he was dying, and then paid to bury the PRICK to boot. So you can FUCK OFF as far as I‘m concerned.

As far as going back....no way. I have had bad boys, and then I have had BAD BOYS....what do you not get??  I‘m long over that kind of guy.

I also see that Sybil has been involved in this thread. People reading this will probably drop over when they read this, but I agree with everything I have seen her write here. Sorry, but she is right and you are wrong....grow up little boy and deal with it.

You are probably some little snot nosed DIPSHIT that thinks he is RICO SUAVE.......FUCK I could be your mother......you don‘t know SHIT!! Quit trying to play with us adults......ROFLMFAO!!!!

You stayed because it was safer than leaving, yet you felt it was safe to cheat even though there was a chance he‘d find out. I find that hard to believe.

You should have mentioned earlier you paid out of your own pocket to bury him. Guess that‘s not so bad.

The fact that you and other women go for that type of guy to begin with just proves what MTB and others like me are saying. You women only ‘get over‘ that guy when you‘re too old and are trying to bag a nice guy sucker whom you‘re only with for stability. Some MRA on another site said it well.

"Women don‘t love us. They only love what we can do for them."

LOL  You stated the men in here didnt agree with me.  I was stating the men in here are very insecure.  Making your point irrevelent.

You are obviously saying that men here are insecure because they don‘t agree with you. Look at your original comment.

  Not only are you judgmental...you are quite assuming as well.  You have assumed many incorrect things about me.  I havent bothered to correct you. 

Why bother?

And what I assumed about you ?

You are a very uncompromising soul.  Considering the discussion is about MTB...I will correct you on one thing.  Im not speaking on his GF‘s behalf.  I was trying to help him see he was unecessarily harsh and took her comment completely out of context.  He might have missed out on a good relationship.

Nothing that he can‘t find better.

With all due respect...she was saying she was done with badboys.  His insecurity in not measuring up to  badboys ...baffles me!  Why on earth would he feel a badboy has anything on him?????

That is the problem. You still don‘t get it something that is very simple! You are trying to argue with him about his comments instead of trying to understand the whole situation, and how he feels about it. That‘s why is uselless to continue arguing with you, when you don‘t want to understand HIS side. If you could understand that, you would not ask this AGAIN. This is not about insecurity. Nowhere he said that he was afraid of a badboy taking the woman away, or measuring up with them. He said more than once that he thinks of himself as very attractive to women.

This about him losing interest in a woman who obviously isn‘t his type, yet is trying to settle for him, because the types she usually goes for doesn‘t work.

And you must understand that is not in his best interest ro keep seeing that woman.

Yes, I stayed because it was safer to do so.....yes, even though I was SHITTING my pants, I cheated because I was so beaten down and in need of someone/anyone to say/do something nice to/for me that I took that risk. At that point I would not have cared if he caught me and killed me. You see I was one of those women that let him brainwash me into thinking that if I left he would hurt me. I also let him constantly berate me until I thought I was worthless...not to mention that he made sure on a daily basis to tell me that no one would want my FAT ASS because I had 3 kids. And when I did get the BALLS to leave...he stalked me and made me and my kids lives miserable for about a year. So I was right all along and had to time it just right.

And yes, not only did I pay to bury the MOTHERFUCKER.....I paid to get him here to the town I live in 6 years prior to his death, got him all set up with Social Security Disability, filed for him to recieve his pension early, got him 60,000 back pay from the Dept. of Veteran‘s Affair‘s (for being nuts), found him a home, furniture, bought him a dog, took him to the VA for his drunk/doctor meetings (and when I couldn‘t Princey did), and was his medical directive when he became to ill to make decisions for himself. I did all of this because he was my kid‘s dad......period!! And all of this was done with Princey‘s stamp of approval. So you see.....people can be merciful and selfless. BTW....from the time we divorced, I recieved ONE....yes you read correctly.....ONE child support check. When he recieved all that money, he owed me about 70,000. I took NOTHING!!! I didn‘t want it, and I didn‘t need it.

 FYI....I divorced him when I was 34. I was not an old hag that could only get a nice guy at that point. Any woman could get a "bad boy" even if they were 90. Their always out there looking for someone, what does age have to do with it??

And the quote at the bottom.....get real. I don‘t need any man for anything.....I WANT a man. This isn‘t the era of the Cleaver‘s.....we women can do just fine on our own.

Read post to Drew...same answer goes to you.

BTW....FUCK OFF!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzMrUc6e204

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il1l_IKhZ6Q

Okay, all insults aside...

I wouldn‘t have taken offense, Mr. True Blue, at that woman‘s comment.  I would have taken it as a compliment.  She wasn‘t "settling" - she was admitting that she finally grew up.  Her friends were recognizing that you are a keeper.

She was more or less admitting that she had a history of dating losers and jerks.  Finally, she‘d gotten her priorities in order.  You were a definite "step up" - not only in her eyes, but in the eyes of her friends. 

To break up over a comment like that tells me there wasn‘t much of a connection to begin with. 

I think your ex-wife has jaded your thinking.  I definitely understand that, but California Girl is right that until you are over the pain of that, you will sabotage relationships.  Deep down, you are not over it.

I came to this website an angry and bitter woman.  3 marriages, 3 divorces, with a history of alcoholic and wife battering spouses, and being screwed over in a divorce.  No one could be much more convinced than I was that all men are jerks.  But that was because I had only been with jerks.  And I had not healed emotionally.

You have to get rid of the anger.  I will attest that it can take a really, really long time.  If you‘re pissed, you‘re pissed.  Acknowledge it, deal with it, write about it, and do whatever it takes to get it out of your system.  Do yourself and everyone else a favor, though, and don‘t date.  Otherwise, you will take it out on whoever you are with.  If you don‘t like or trust women, be honest about that fact, and don‘t date until you meet one that you really think is worth getting to know better.

This year marks the 10 year anniversary of my last divorce.  With years of being single, and creating a new life, I‘ve had lots of time to come down from all of that.  Through this website, and through the support of good friends and family, I‘ve gotten a whole new lease on life. 

All men aren‘t the same.  All women aren‘t the same either.  It‘s the partners we pick.  It‘s the choices we make.  Lots of people have wonderful relationhips.  And there are a lot of decent single people out there.

We‘ve talked a lot on here about women being attracted to bad boys.  What kind of women are most of you men attracted to?  What were the women like that you dated?  What qualities did they have that drew you in?

You can talk about women being superficial in their choices, but what about guys?  Hey, I‘ve known guys to ask a girl out because they think she has "nice tits" and a "great butt."  Or they want her phone number if she has blonde hair, or a pretty face.  How many of those "hot girls" are really nice people?  No offense to women who meet these descriptions - but just saying that superficiality can go both ways.  I‘ve known plenty of men to pick women just on the basis of what she "looks" like.  I‘ve known men to brag about their girlfriends, and half of the attraction is that she‘s a "trophy" to them. 

I‘ve been passed over by many a guy for one of those girls.  The only thing it tells me is that he‘s not the right guy for me.  I am usually the lady he will confide in when that relationship bites the dust.  I‘ve been "buddies" with many a man.  He can talk and relate to me all day long, and we can have a great time, but I am not "date material" because what he wants is the bubble headed bleach blonde.  And believe me, I am not unattractive, and this isn‘t restricted to young guys.  There are plenty of middle aged men who are like this, too.

I agree with Eves and Touche and others that "bad boys" don‘t improve with age. 

Africanguy:
"This is not about insecurity. Nowhere he said that he was afraid of a badboy taking the woman away, or measuring up with them. He said more than once that he thinks of himself as very attractive to women.
This about him losing interest in a woman who obviously isn‘t his type, yet is trying to settle for him, because the types she usually goes for doesn‘t work.
And you must understand that is not in his best interest ro keep seeing that woman."

Very true. She isn‘t his type and he knows this because of her slip of the tongue. She dug bad boys. And she secretly still does. Even women like this recognize the value of holding on to a nice guy sucker and making them think they really like his type out of all the rest.

Evesdrop:
"FYI....I divorced him when I was 34. I was not an old hag that could only get a nice guy at that point. Any woman could get a "bad boy" even if they were 90. Their always out there looking for someone, what does age have to do with it??"

Even if they were 90? I doubt it.


Evesdrop:
"And the quote at the bottom.....get real. I don‘t need any man for anything.....I WANT a man. This isn‘t the era of the Cleaver‘s.....we women can do just fine on our own."

If that were true, then why is it that so many used, washed up women who ****ed around with bad boys are complaining that no nice guys want them more and more these days? That good guys don‘t want former sluts? Oh right, it‘s about a want not a need you say. Fine. But don‘t get angry when men like MTB who are too smart to see through these women and lie to him and say oh she didn‘t mean to do what she did in her past. She‘s really a nice girl and wouldn‘t stray for a bad boy. However according to your own logic, if women in their forties are hotter than women in their twenties, then MTB has just as much to worry about if not more as he and women he could date get closer to the forties. Guess you‘ve undermined yourself there and proven MTB, africanguy and me right.

Rhiannon, your post about guys being superficial too is correct. I myself can‘t stand blond hair and I hate airheads too. Oh and you know what really annoys the hell out of me too? Fake tits. As I said on another board, give me Sally Kirkland in THE STING or Cory Oliver as Britney Kasier in BASEKETBALL
http://www.craigbrewer.com/cory_oliver.jpg
over some bimbo like Pamela Anderson any day.

there would have been nothing wrong with saying that the way you put it.

but when she said, "they were fun in their day" and then compared me as a "stable guy", that turned me off big time.

MTB.....ya want to hear something weird??

When I was with the last "bad boy"...(the drunken ex-husband)....I was soooooo miserable that at year 13 of our horrendous marriage

eve, there are "bad boys" and there are drunken, silly baffoons.  The way you describe him I‘d consider him the latter.

And you were miserable.  my X said they were "fun".  Not exactly the same mindset here.  You were miserable, therefore not touting the fun of what you might have considered a "bad boy".  She did tout it as such.

I cheated on him. I had had enough of his SHIT. Now I know it was NOT the best decision I ever made, and I don‘t profess to walk on water.

Since I changed my whole perspective of men and found "Princey"......I have NEVER once in 16 years felt the need to look or go elsewhere.....and I NEVER will!!

So no offense.....but, I don‘t buy the unfaithful  track record comment. I think women who play with those kind of sharks end up making poor choices......I know I did.

I understand, but you did end up cheating on him though.  Not getting down on you about it, its just been my experience, and my experience only, that those types I couldn‘t trust.  (not saying you aren‘t trustworthy...sounds like you were abused....not that I condone what you did!  tsk tsk)

They liked bad boys, and even though they profess to be through with them, they still missed the "bad" part.  Therefore were partiers, clubbers...etc.  Sorry, not qualities I want in a woman.

Now, I never have to worry about that kind of SHIT again. Alas, I am happy with MY gorgeous, nice, stable, hard working, genuine, honest guy. In fact I have said it here before, and I will say it again......He is totally my "best friend" and the nicest man I have ever met in my entire life.

AND I GOT HIM!!!

I thank God everyday that I took that chance when he asked me out, and I said yes. Good riddance to the "bad boy" trash is what I say.

again, I think your X was more of a drunken loser rather than the cocky, my sh#t don‘t stink bad boy.