| AUTHOR |
MESSAGE
|
| Funnysl |
 |
|
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:48 AM |
 |
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
.gif)
Total Posts: 5032
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
 Send Note
|
| michiganfarmer wrote: |
| sunny fl wrote: |
Have you asked her what will make her happy?
|
I have.
She says It doesnt do any good to tell me anything |
I think maybe she has given up.
When I feel like why bother voicing my opinion to my man, that to me is giving up on the issue.
Think about what she has told you in the past that bothers her. Try very hard to do what she likes.
I know some men are reading this and say why should he be the one that does all the work but I honestly feel that if she is happy that she will also do what makes you happy. If you love and cherish her, it will show in her actions that she loves and cherishes you also.
|
| shelbelle |
|
|
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:17 PM |
|
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 22
Total Posts: 1096
lalaland
North Carolina
United States
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| Miss Luvly1 wrote: | Or...if you want a woman‘s advice on something really romantic...here goes! You would end up spending the same amount of money as the hotel with the pool...although I think that would be good for you too.
Instruct her to wear nylons and bring dress shoes. Take her out early to the mall and have her buy a dress to wear out on the town. Let her try on as many as she likes. Have her model them for you. Then buy the one she likes and have her wear it out on the town. If you own a suit...you should wear it. And bring a rose.
No one has ever done this for me, but I have a friend who‘s husband does. They are not rich by any means, but their marriage is wonderful and they are rich in that way. |
i think this is a wonderful idea!
|
| michiganfarmer |
|
|
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:39 PM |
|
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
New WomanSaver
Male Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 9
Traverse City
Michigan
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
Something that is really screwed up is I dont know what would make her happy.
I mean, I know she would love for me to go with her and the kids to visit her family in NC, but day to day stuff....I have no idea. I‘ll ask her.
|
| TALUTAH |
|
|
Posted: 9/28/2009 2:18 PM |
|
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 5
.gif)
Total Posts: 268
seaside bay
Montana
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| michiganfarmer wrote: | |
She hates it when I talk to anyone, specially my parents, about what is going on between us. If she refuses to discuss anything with me what am I suppose to do? Do I just get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, and wait around for her for months at a time like a puppy waiting for her to toss me a scrap now and then? It has occurred to me a few times over the years that mabey I am unable to understand how to have a healthy relationship with a woman. Mabey Im just to ****ed up. Mabey the best thing I can do for her is to let her go find a better man. I just dont know Someone asked what I want. I see how other couples live. They work for money to spend together on leisure. I dont want to spend my money on leisure. I want to live frugally, spend our money getting out of debt, THEN do leisure things, and I want a woman who wants to do the same. This idea of seperating didnt just come up over the weekend. We have discusses it a few times over the years. I brought it up because she seems so unhappy. After I took that anger management counceling, I had the idea that If I stopped being so controlling, let her do what she wanted by herself, and I did what I wanted by myself, then we could spend some time doing something together, but that hasnt worked. We cant find anything we both want to do together that doesnt cost money. She hates sitting in the house, weather its playing board games with me and the kids, or just watching tv, and working around the farm with me and the kids doesnt feel like family time to her either. I love laboring together. We joke, and laugh together. We talk about the work week. We talk with the kids about school, and all our futures. I have a blast! Evidently she doesnt. Someone said I sound like a mamas boy. I dont know what that means. I dont know what a mamas boy is.
|
Hello again,
As I said before, STOP talking about her in a negative way to anyone, especially your parents!
No wonder she has given up.She not only has endured your
running to your parents with your personal problems, she has suffered their biased and harassment for 18 years!
She should not have to tell you not to divulge private matters.You should know that.
I was the one who said, sounds like a mama‘s boy!You are 40 years old and do not know what a mama‘s boy is? Can‘t believe it.
You asked, "Do I just get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, wait around for her to toss me a bone"? Oh please, you already said you only want to work and you go to bed at 9 pm.She gets home more than 2 hours after you go to bed.
I‘m surprised you two ever get together.
It will be nearly impossible to undo do 18 years of treating her second best. But if you work to rectify some of the damage you have done,I think you two can work it out.
Here is a thought, Ask her exactly what she would like to do for fun.No matter what she says, DO IT! No complaints, no fussing, nothing but compliance.
A young woman needs some fun, after all she works too, so spend some money, live a little, have some fun, you will be glad you did.
Just remember, Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.
T.
|
| CaliforniaGirl |
|
|
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:10 PM |
|
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 3
Total Posts: 1715
Women and Cats
California
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| michiganfarmer wrote: | I invited her to spend a weekend at a motel wiht a pool, and just hang out away from the farm. |
No you did not. Do not BS us.
|
| shelbelle |
|
|
Posted: 9/29/2009 6:45 AM |
|
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 22
Total Posts: 1096
lalaland
North Carolina
United States
online
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
hiya cg...lovely to see you again! 
michiganfarmer...please dont think we are being harsh. for me it just sounds like it is important for you to tell us about her and that you dont know what to do. then when we give you ideas to try we never hear you try anything new.
if i dont know what to get a bf for his birthday and he just isnt telling me...i guess. even if i am wrong he sees the effort and appreciates it as something i did for him.
even though its not the same..i think many of us here feel that if you dont know what makes her happy then guess cuz even if you are wrong she will see your effort and thought.
i hope this helps.
|
| MrTrueBlue |
|
|
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:23 AM |
|
Subject: My wife has gotten very distant, and refuses to acnowlege there is a problem |
|
|
|
WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 37
Total Posts: 1357
Peoria
Illinois
United States
offline
Invite To Chat Room
Send Note
|
| CaliforniaGirl wrote: |
| michiganfarmer wrote: |
|
I invited her to spend a weekend at a motel wiht a pool, and just hang out away from the farm. |
No you did not. Do not BS us. |
why would this be so hard to believe? It was a suggestion by a member here that it would be a nice romantic idea.
Why would it be out of the question that he took that, and went to her and mentioned it?
If I had a problem and needed a romantic idea, I wouldn‘t hesitate to take what one of you wonderful women on this board said and use it.
|