WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / Man V. Woman?

Thank you for your input, I‘ll be sure to add "attention span" to the list of things that are short on Japanses men.

Best regards.

"Woman are of the female race."

That‘s poetic. Not literal. Hence, not actual. First women are of a different sex. Then gender. Then race. Time to pick one.

"Well Drew I do agree with you women mature and get set in their ways as they get older, they also don‘t and wont put up with **** like they did when they are younger. But you are selling yourself short because some women have morals and aren‘t cheaters."

Not enough I‘m afraid. At work alone I‘ve seen to many people jump in and out of beds and then not **** or even date anymore and then act like nothing has happened. What the hell?

"The laws?? Please Drew, I don‘t know where you live but here it is 50/50. 9 out of 10 parents have joint custody and they take both of the income and figure if there is any child support at all."

Fifty fifty is a myth. I have seen cases where men have had their pensions dipped into so that a gold digging ex wife can continue to fund her new life with her new man who already makes money. It‘s ****ing ridiculous.

"Okay fine let‘s turn the tables. Let‘s make rape legal. If you complain I‘ll just say, "You‘re just paranoid about men. What about trust? Who cares what the laws are? How can you build a relationship without trust, eh?"

Rape is a violation of a person, and is illegal. apples and oranges dear Drew."

I think you have missed the point I was trying to make. We have laws to protect women from certain violations, and yet conversely we have laws and prejudiced judges allowing for women to commit paternity fraud and not have to repay money, getting away with false accusations, cheating and then divorcing and cashing out big. Clearly a double standard. Women get protection but men don‘t.

" don‘t not date because I am afraid of somebody raping me. If I did then yes I would be paranoid about men. You need to be aware of the situation you are in and always let somebody know who you are going out with and what your plans are. male or female there are sickos out there that just want to hurt you. That comment really didn‘t make since Drew."

Now that I have explained myself, it sure should.

"See Drew your response is very ignorant, you are missing out on life because of the chance you may get hurt. Drew do you not drive a car because there is a chance you could get in to a wreck. Do you not fly because there is a chance you will get killed??
"

I can control my car by fixing it and driving aggressively by avoiding the morons. I fly only when I have to. I take control of the situation. Thanks to anti male laws regarding paternity fraud, men getting cuckolded and then divorced and then losing money, etc, I have no fair equitable control over myself. So it is you who is missing out on apples with apples. Laws change and nice guys start getting treated with legal respect and shown that they matter and are a value to society, then perhaps mine and the attitudes of other men will change.

i dunno if this adds to the debate and i dunno if im even sure what the debate is about anymore cept that some men here think things arent fair and that some women here are seen like man-bashers.

some of the surveys here might be good to know:

one question asked if any women had been molested when they were a child and out of 10,000 woman 55% said they were.

another question asked women if they had ever been sexually abused. over 13,000 women answered and 71% said they have been sexually abused.

when i was a senior in high school....4 years ago... we did a class project and acually went to malls to ask just one question of men. the question was:

would you be willing, everyday from now and for the rest of your life, to be viewed and treated like females are viewed and treated everyday?

over 1,000 men were asked and each and every one said that would not be willing to be viewed and treated like females are everyday.

it might be that men know what is going on and know that they dont want it for them but somehow let it stay that way or dont know what to do change things

we for sure see it everyday too but and i dont think we know what to do about it either.

its like somehow for men and women somethings just arent right for both of us and should be different

He all....Have a look on the post below the thread called "Wife" where Drew accuses me of "Sending" the men here to counselling rather than suggesting divorce....

Drew...you need to look at the "advice" I gave this man...you see the word "counselling" anywhere in it?

Drew...there are lots of smarter, decent, non-slutty types out there, but they usually are attracted to level-headed, gentle, kind men...not haters....and believe me...you are a hater...I would say that sooner or later your anger and paranoia would come out and any decent girl would run for the hills I‘m sorry.

Woman are of the female race."

That‘s poetic. Not literal. Hence, not actual. First women are of a different sex. Then gender. Then race. Time to pick one.

Drew you can be prejudiced agains a sex, color, race. gender,  somebodies sexuality.  Its not just color.  See Drew  I am a 43 year old professional woman  I don‘t have to pick.  I am of the female race  and the female sex. 

"Well Drew I do agree with you women mature and get set in their ways as they get older, they also don‘t and wont put up with **** like they did when they are younger. But you are selling yourself short because some women have morals and aren‘t cheaters."

Not enough I‘m afraid. At work alone I‘ve seen to many people jump in and out of beds and then not **** or even date anymore and then act like nothing has happened. What the hell?

I agree with you some men and women think sex is nothing but a game,  I too have known men and women that sleep around like it means nothing,  I think there will always be people like that.  find a girl that has excellent parents that taught her and she learned morals.

"The laws?? Please Drew, I don‘t know where you live but here it is 50/50. 9 out of 10 parents have joint custody and they take both of the income and figure if there is any child support at all."

Fifty fifty is a myth. I have seen cases where men have had their pensions dipped into so that a gold digging ex wife can continue to fund her new life with her new man who already makes money. It‘s ****ing ridiculous.

Well Drew,  I suggest you move to Florida  because here it is 50/50 and because I am  responsible and pay my debits  I got screwed.  I to have to give half my retirement to my ex.  How ever I didn‘t have to pay alimoney since he is living with another woman,  once that happened he forfited that right. (luck me)   I paid 20 years on a house that he owns half of.  Each and every payment was auto drafted from my paycheck.  I have worked the same job for 24 years,  he hasn‘t had one that lasted longer then a year.  I also never got a cent of child support form him and we had a 16 year old son at the time I kicked his sorry ass out of the house.   See Drew its not just men that get screwed over,  there are a lot of women in the job market now adays that are in my shoes!

"Okay fine let‘s turn the tables. Let‘s make rape legal. If you complain I‘ll just say, "You‘re just paranoid about men. What about trust? Who cares what the laws are? How can you build a relationship without trust, eh?"

Rape is a violation of a person, and is illegal. apples and oranges dear Drew."

I think you have missed the point I was trying to make. We have laws to protect women from certain violations, and yet conversely we have laws and prejudiced judges allowing for women to commit paternity fraud and not have to repay money, getting away with false accusations, cheating and then divorcing and cashing out big. Clearly a double standard. Women get protection but men don‘t.

Those laws aren‘t to protect women  they are to protect everybody!    I do not agree with anybody having to pay for somebody elses child.  I raised my ex 3 kids from a previous marriage with out one cent of help from their mother.   

" don‘t not date because I am afraid of somebody raping me. If I did then yes I would be paranoid about men. You need to be aware of the situation you are in and always let somebody know who you are going out with and what your plans are. male or female there are sickos out there that just want to hurt you. That comment really didn‘t make since Drew."

Now that I have explained myself, it sure should.

"See Drew your response is very ignorant, you are missing out on life because of the chance you may get hurt. Drew do you not drive a car because there is a chance you could get in to a wreck. Do you not fly because there is a chance you will get killed??
"

I can control my car by fixing it and driving aggressively by avoiding the morons. I fly only when I have to. I take control of the situation. Thanks to anti male laws regarding paternity fraud, men getting cuckolded and then divorced and then losing money, etc, I have no fair equitable control over myself. So it is you who is missing out on apples with apples. Laws change and nice guys start getting treated with legal respect and shown that they matter and are a value to society, then perhaps mine and the attitudes of other men will change.

Drew you are letting life pass you by.  I honestly think that the laws have and are changing in most states.  I see more and more fathers raising there children,  which is great if they are the better parent they should.  I also see women that were stay at home moms (husbands request) that wake up oneday and find that they have 3 kids at home and a husband that is FUCKING his secretary.  She didn‘t get to finish school because she had 3 kids and they couldn‘t afford daycare,  he thinks she is boring because all she does is cook, clean and take care of his family,  the secretary has no kids, no responsiblities and isn‘t tired at 10 pm.  That is the woman that deserves to get alimony and child support! 

" I also see women that were stay at home moms (husbands request) that wake up oneday and find that they have 3 kids at home and a husband that is FUCKING his secretary.  She didn‘t get to finish school because she had 3 kids and they couldn‘t afford daycare,  he thinks she is boring because all she does is cook, clean and take care of his family,  the secretary has no kids, no responsiblities and isn‘t tired at 10 pm.  That is the woman that deserves to get alimony and child support!  "

Agreed. What I don‘t get is why some men seem to think all they have to do is work all day and then they can slack off at night and not help with the kids. They want credit for going to work and paying a mortgage. To which I would say, "So you‘re a grown up who would have to be paying for a house even if you weren‘t married anyway. You‘d still have to earn money for yourself even if you were single. You don‘t get applause when you were single for doing that. Turn off the sports and help your wife out with the kids."

The way I see it, a work day is done at 5 or 6 typically. For the full time mom it is not. If you love your kids so much as many divorced dads claim, then spend some time with them and lighten your wife‘s load. Three kids are a handful. Maybe she can catch a nap too. Then just maybe, she may have enough energy for you between the sheets.

I recall reading an msn article once where this woman was complaining that her husband wanted sex a lot but did nothing to help lighten her work load which drained her physically. She‘d come home from work, raise the kids, cook, clean, do lunches for next day at school, laundry, etc and then she‘d be too tired. What‘s hubby doing? Nothing. He offered to do the laundry but he couldn‘t even do it right and he refused to be taught how. He threw a fit and said, "fine I won‘t do it. If you didn‘t want my help then don‘t ask." How about accepting constructive criticism? Like not putting just newly dried clothes back on the dirty floor where the dust and lint is. I can remember a few time back home when my mom would get an occasional flu or just sleep after supper due to the flu or just not getting sleep the night before, I‘d do the supper dishes. Just because it‘s the least she deserves for being a good mom and wife to my dad all these years. Couldn‘t husbands do little things like that for their wives?

I want an honest answer from the females on here who were/are wives. If husbands helped lighten your work load at home and maybe freed up time for you to sleep or either get back in shape after the baby (men complain about this - but again, what do they do if anything to help free up more of her time if she‘s a busy busy mom who is tired by 10 o clock*), wouldn‘t you have more free time and energy to spend with them in an intimate manner? Wouldn‘t you want to if you had that conserved time and energy?

* a housewife who is tired by ten in most cases I would think has little or no time to get back in shape at the husband‘s request. Am I right? Can anyone shed light on this?

What if your children were to witness her having sex with the neighbor?  How do you know that they haven‘t already?  Considering her lack of discretion so far...  

Your children will suffer long term damage due to divorce no matter how old they are.  The damage may have already begun but you‘re either not seeing it or you‘re denying it. 

Right now, your children are at an age where they don‘t understand everything yet, but they‘ll learn.  Your wife will teach them to lie and force guilt upon them.  And you‘ll teach them to be a doormat, or an enabler, if you continue to cover things up for her, especially if they notice things about your wife‘s behavior that you didn‘t do anything about or they‘ll see that you are unhappy and blame themselves. 

I understand that your children love their mother but it‘s not fair for them to be around a mommy who is betraying their daddy (and them) while she is fooling around with your neighbor.  If she truly loved her children and put them first, the way a mother should, she never would have done this.              

Good point. His son will learn to stay a doormat and tolerate female bull****. How can you be proud of raising your son to be like that? Of sending a message like that? I mean, really.

Dude, it‘s over. ACCEPT IT. Your wife has. Get a divorce and fight for your kids. Get a pro male lawyer to help you win the kids and the house. If you have already decided not to fight like this because you have given up hope of winning, or you for some reason think letting her have the house will show you how nice you are and send her back into your arms never to cheat again, just leave this site and give it up.

Sound harsh? No. It‘s just reality. Time to teach that bitch a lesson. Make sure she gets nothing. Don‘t be a spinless guy in front of your son. Be a man. Be a good mentor to him.

I hope he enjoys being a cuckold, supporting the woman who cuckold him, and ultimately losing it all. He needs to ask himself why is she dragging her feet? I bet if he does some checking on the divorce laws in his state he would see she would be entitled to more of his money after X amount of years. She is patiently waiting for the big day.

I would recommend he get the divorce first and kick her out of the house because if he leaves for a seperation, he‘ll never get it back. On the other hand, maybe it won‘t matter that she cheated. Women have been rewarded for being whores in marriages.

On the other hand if that‘s the case then it‘s no wonder he may be afraid to initiate divorce due to unfair courts. I can‘t leave the kids to her ‘cause she‘ll basically **** them over every way imaginable but I can‘t stay either because I‘ll owe her like 75% of my income and from there it will steadily decay in a pattern of overspending on her part until the kids are ****ed anyway (no money for private school tuition, no money for their medical, probably like a 16th mortgage on the house, total inability to respond to any emergency, name it).

Great.

That‘s great.

Drew‘s right divorce her and take the kid‘s.

I want an honest answer from the females on here who were/are wives. If husbands helped lighten your work load at home and maybe freed up time for you to sleep or either get back in shape after the baby (men complain about this - but again, what do they do if anything to help free up more of her time if she‘s a busy busy mom who is tired by 10 o clock*), wouldn‘t you have more free time and energy to spend with them in an intimate manner? Wouldn‘t you want to if you had that conserved time and energy

Drew  I started dating my husband when I was 17,  I didn‘t see the red flags,  I was raised in a wonderful home by parents that have been married over 50 years,  My grandparents were married over 70 years before my grandfathers death.  I had never been around divorce or abuse.  My mother was a stay at home mom (per my dads request) she raised 5 kids by herself most of the time. (he was military and gone a lot) 

I have worked since I was 15 and I need to work for my own self   I love the working enviroment.  I tried to be a stay at home mom it lasted 5 months and I went crazy.

I would get up and get the kids feed, ready for school and drop them off, then go to work.  come home cook dinner help with homework, clean do laundry and maybe at 11 get to take a shower and go to bed.  Still I didn‘t complain,  I love being a mom (but a grandma is better!) He would  always mow the lawn (I give him credit for that) until my boys got older then they did it. 

I remember one night  I was pregnant with my youngest. I was high risk and my blood pressure was out there.  I had got home from work, cooked dinner after dinner I was sitting at the table looking at the mess.  My husband said to me  you look tired,  I told him I am exasted. (he had been home all day long watching the history chanel)  He said go to bed,  I told him I have to clean up this mess,  he said go to bed the mess will be her when you wake up, you can do it tomorrow.  WTF!!!  That is when I went off on him.

Fast forward to today,  I now don‘t regrett all I have done, because my sons respect and appreciate me, they have seen that hard work and love by there mother made a safe, comfortable home for them to grow up in.

But honestly,  it made me resent my husband.  Which may have lead to his cheating.

Drew,  I don‘t know if you are really from Canada or not,  but here in the states  the laws aren‘t as bad as they were.  It is a state by state law.  I do know in Alabama if you leave your residents  they can say you abanded it.  (even if you are still paying the mortgage)  But here

It is 50/50 no matter who leaves, no matter why you are getting a divorce.  Anybody that gets married should have a prenup.  I promise you that if I ever remarry  that I will have one. 

The one that pisses me off is the retirement.  Because I was responsible enough to start my own retirment at age 21  and my husband couldn‘t save a nickel    he gets half of mine.  I also don‘t agree with the military retirement. If you have been married for over 10 years and divorce your spouse has a right to half of your retirement (man or woman)

Also you can not will your 401K to anybody other then your spouse  without notarized paperwork, signed by the spouse.  I couldn‘t even touch my own money without his signature.  now that is FUcked up!!    Its my money and if I dye I want it to go for my grandkids education, not to pay off a harley that my husband will drive his hoor around on!

I feel you need to provide for yourself and prepare for your future.

Hi, DaddyofTwo and

I‘ve been following your thread since its inception, but hesitated in posting a response.   I will not comment as to whether you should stay or go or she should stay or go or how you should handle this where your children are concerned.   It‘s your life to live and your children to raise, all as you see fit.

My only comment is this:  In your first (i think) post, I saw that you said she‘s going to church more to try to make herself right again (paraphrasing).  Do not fall for that crap.  Do not for one second let her hide behind her religion for her unfaithful act.    It‘s just a ploy, not to mention more time out of the house and away from facing the damage she‘s caused.  If she were truly religious in the first place, then she‘d be all too familiar with Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor AND Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery.

Best of luck to you. 

And I wanted to point your stupidity to you.

It worked look at your response.

And you know what is not short on your next door friend ? Go ask your wife.

You did not gave your source for that "survey". They did that survey on prison ?