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| Tropikal8 |
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Posted: 3/22/2009 9:48 AM |
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Subject: Please help |
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New WomanSaver
Male Member
Age: 22
Total Posts: 1
Los Angeles
California
United States
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Hey everybody...i never knew a site like this existed. It‘s like a breath of fresh air for me seeing there are this many people who actually "care" about relationships (i was reading the forums, not just the men section, and it‘s really useful)
I feel lost and i don‘t know what to do...it‘s about my girlfriend (4 years). Before i begin, it would only be fair to mention a few of her good qualities to not sound bias...she has bought me many expensive gifts, tells me she loves me daily, wanted to go get my full name tattooed on her (and did it), and is very affectionate
We have been somewhat on and off...i have never cheated on her (not even an emotional affair)...she cheated on me 3 years ago. First she said it was only one guy, but a couple months later she said 2. Six months ago, i was going through her phone and i caught her calling vibeline (a phone dating service, very explicit) and it was saved in her phone book as "good time". I told her about it and she said "now would be a good time to cheat since you‘re accusing me". She later said she was having phone sex. Because of this she gave me her voicemail password. Around a month later (3-4 months ago) i heard a few guys leaving voicemails in her phone and she claimed it was her ex still trying to be with her. When i asked questions about it, this lead her to give me the silent treatment and not answer my "stupid questions". After being persistent, she later told me she had cheated on me with more like 5 guys, and she would cheat when i would "accuse" her. I‘m still confused as to this, because afterwards she told me it was only 2 guys and she only said 5 because "that‘s what i wanted to hear".
After checking her phone records, i realized there was a night when she told me goodnight at 9 pm. I called her at 10:00 pm and it was a missed call with no return. Some guy who she calls her "weed man" called her at 10:12 (incoming call) and she also called him back and 10:16 pm...this man would call her regularly, and she said i had no reason to get mad because i was only being insecure. After a few months, i made her (by begging her) stop talking to all her guy friends because her behaivour lead me to belive she was cheating
Just 2 days ago, i was in her room and i saw a picture of her guy friend on her wall...this bother me and when i told her about it...she said im "accusing" her and she can‘t be with me if i continue to make her feel miserable. 5 days ago, she had told me that her friends (girls) and i are equal and she can‘t say i come before they do...this hurt me and lead to a long conversation...anyway...she ended up telling me today, she just wants to be friends because we argue too much.
Before this, she had told me that she is annoyed because i haven‘t proposed to her yet, and that if i don‘t propose to her in 3 months, she will evaluate our relationship...this is despite me telling her i need some time to heal and trust her. When i tell her how could u leave if i woudn‘t propose, she said she never said she would leave and that she would only re evaluate things.
If i tell her how i feel, she said i don‘t trust her, im making her miserable, or that i always have something to complain about. She drops conversations when she gets frustrated, or she gives me the "silent treatment" until i change the topic. She accuses me of being insecure and possessive, and she denies ever having said certain thing (maybe she forgot)...she makes threats to leave when she is "annoyed" and my sensitivity...but she calls them warnings and not threats...
Im sorry to take up your time, i left out many things to try to keep this as short as i can...ladies, please help. My guy friends can‘t help me because too them "she is a ho" "leave her" "use her as a **** buddy", and they seem to have a double standard that they can cheat but women can‘t...i don‘t have female friends, too respect her...i need some advice...
am i over possessive? am i crazy? is this girl right for me? would you guys suggest that im too blame and i need to get help for my behaviour? any kind of feedback (negative or positvie) would be appriecated...thanky you so much and God bless u
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| Uncle Don |
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Posted: 3/22/2009 8:28 PM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 1
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Total Posts: 553
Basking Ridge
New Jersey
United States
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First off if you are 22 do yourself a favor and don‘t get serious. Get yourself in order first. Education, good occupation, condo, townhouse or house. (you don‘t want to settle into a trailer or her parents basement) It is a very large world and there are many many good people out there. If you are finding that the crowd you are with has issues, then don‘t necessarily leave them, but look around. Start with the education. Don‘t take a factory job or join the Union. You will be making good money and think that you are all set. 20 years from now when you hate your job but have 5 kids and a mortgage you find yourself unhappy and very little you can do about it.
I was over psoessive when I first started seriously dating. I thought this was it. Ha boy was I green. I got married at age 33, 1st time. during my single years I learned an awful lot. Don‘t rush things. If your unsure, don‘t do it. Play the field and have a good look at the what is out there. Your too young to settle down. Good luck!
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| Measle |
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Posted: 3/23/2009 7:57 AM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 300
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Total Posts: 209
Yonder
Wyoming
United States
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Sorry, but your guy friends are right. She‘s a ho-bag. I wouldn‘t even keep her around for a booty call.
Put her back in the gutter where she belongs, and walk away.
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| Sunny fl |
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Posted: 3/23/2009 11:19 AM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 5643
sunshine and daisies
Wyoming
United States
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| Measle wrote: | Sorry, but your guy friends are right. She‘s a ho-bag. I wouldn‘t even keep her around for a booty call.
Put her back in the gutter where she belongs, and walk away.
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Tell us how you really feel!
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 3/23/2009 3:18 PM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 37
Total Posts: 1469
Peoria
Illinois
United States
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| Tropikal8 wrote: | Hey everybody...i never knew a site like this existed. It‘s like a breath of fresh air for me seeing there are this many people who actually "care" about relationships (i was reading the forums, not just the men section, and it‘s really useful)
I feel lost and i don‘t know what to do...it‘s about my girlfriend (4 years). Before i begin, it would only be fair to mention a few of her good qualities to not sound bias...she has bought me many expensive gifts, tells me she loves me daily, wanted to go get my full name tattooed on her (and did it), and is very affectionate
We have been somewhat on and off...i have never cheated on her (not even an emotional affair)...she cheated on me 3 years ago. First she said it was only one guy, but a couple months later she said 2. Six months ago, i was going through her phone and i caught her calling vibeline (a phone dating service, very explicit) and it was saved in her phone book as "good time". I told her about it and she said "now would be a good time to cheat since you‘re accusing me". She later said she was having phone sex. |
ACCKK....enough already.
Get rid of this ho.
She cheated on you, repeatedly and seems without remorse since she said " now would be a good time to cheat since you‘re accusing me".
Cancel this ditch pig.
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| Miss Luvly1 |
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Posted: 3/23/2009 7:08 PM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 40
Total Posts: 1027
The Rondanthe
Minnesota
United States
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Dear Tropikal8,
Your girlfriend is the female version of the toxic man. Go to read in the abuse section.
She doesn‘t take responsibility for her actions, she blames you. Then she makes you feel bad, or she ignores you.
Just what are you seeing in this girl?
I do suggest that you also start hanging out with a higher class of friends if they are cheating on their GF‘s as well. It would be impossible for them to understand.
As far as getting your whole named tattooed on her....um imagine how many guys have seen that and wondered who you were. Tell her to get the tattoo crossed off or done over. Tell her you are done. I guarantee that she will come running back and begging you for forgiveness.
This may be what you think you want. Don‘t settle, and don‘t go for it. She will be up to her old tricks again in no time.
Remember: There is a different kind of love out there, one that will give you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. Don‘t settle for this girl, you can do better.
MissLuvly1
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| Measle |
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Posted: 3/24/2009 6:27 AM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver Addict
Female Member
Age: 300
Total Posts: 209
Yonder
Wyoming
United States
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| sunny hot legs wrote: |
| Measle wrote: | Sorry, but your guy friends are right. She‘s a ho-bag. I wouldn‘t even keep her around for a booty call.
Put her back in the gutter where she belongs, and walk away.
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Tell us how you really feel!
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Hey, I‘d want that oinker soaked in bleach before I even phoned her.
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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 3/24/2009 6:53 AM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Female Member
Age: 32
Total Posts: 1667
dublin
Ireland
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She‘s a needy insecure spoiled little brat...if thats what your into then go try to win her back.
But there is better out there! relationships are not supposed to be painful drama-filled experiences!
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| FASTasleep |
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Posted: 3/24/2009 6:02 PM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver Lurker
Female Member
Age: 23
Total Posts: 45
Accountability
Reunion
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| Tropikal8 wrote: |
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am i over possessive? am i crazy? is this girl right for me? would you guys suggest that im too blame and i need to get help for my behaviour? any kind of feedback (negative or positvie) would be appriecated...thanky you so much and God bless u
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This is tragic.
Do you enjoy living a lie? She obviously doesn‘t love you if she can‘t be truthful and faithful to you. But I also have to question if you really love her or do you just love the idea of having a relationship with her even though the circumstances suck?
You wouldn‘t need to check her phone records or have passwords to her voicemail if you had trust in your relationship. Having access to that only makes YOU look desperate, insecure and possessive which is apparently what drives her to cheat even more. Her cheating shows off those same qualities but in different ways. How many of her good qualities emerge after she shows off her bad qualities?
Proposing to her isn‘t going to make her faithful. If your "name" being tattooed on her doesn‘t stop her from cheating or from keeping other guys from touching her, a marriage certificate won‘t stop it either.
If she doesn‘t have the backbone to end the relationship herself, she‘s probably deliberately lying and cheating on you maybe with the hopes that you will dump her so she doesn‘t have to get her hands dirty and that way she can play the victim. As long as you keep letting her string you along, you are missing out on someone who will treat you better.
I say dump the broad! You‘ve wasted enough time on her. You‘ll be the bad guy in her eyes for a while. It‘s a small price to pay but it will be worth it to you in the long run.
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| Drew J |
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Posted: 6/23/2009 2:47 AM |
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Subject: Please help |
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WomanSaver MoFo
Male Member
Age: 25
Total Posts: 334
Canada
Canada
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You might as well take her back and have her cheat on you again, and then beat yourself up for thinking she‘s not trustworthy because of her past. Because you are obviously a masochist who doesn‘t respect yourself and thinks you don‘t deserve a mate who is faithful.
Get a brain, dude. Dump that bitch. Worry about yourself.
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