WomanSavers.com Forum / MEN'S AREA / nice guys

" I maybe forty but that doesn‘t mean that I am not attractive to men.  I have been asked out alot,  but won‘t settle"

Post a pic to prove you are atractive.

I don‘t have to prove **** to you!

 I read up until the point of lashing out between forum members.

 I had been in and out of therapy for awhile now and each therapist had told me this.

 I really do not entirely think it‘s about nice guys or bad boys that hurt us I think it‘s the choices that we make, and some of them we are not even aware of because we draw abusers towards us and there are different classes of abusers, because it‘s what we are used to. It‘s what we are familair with.

 Abused people tend to end up with someone that is similair in ways to the ones that once abused them, whether it‘s emotional, or bodily harm.

 Or we find ways to relate our significant others to how we were once treated by others.

I second that.

You said the samething in General!!

I also was told that if you get in to a relationship with somebody before you get over the other,  that you normally end up with the same problems with the new person.

Do  you think that is true?

I think that is just a way to victimize yourself to avoid dealing with the fact that you might have made bad decisions.

It‘s a way to rationalize things just to feel good inside and blameless.

The world is full of people like that. It‘s amazing how often you hear people whining and whining about how the government, their country, their parents, or their daughters, or their friends or their bosses have wronged them, and that they are just a nice person who needs to be loved, blah, blah, blah...

Assuming the role of the victim is easy. Taking control of your life, and assuming your responsibilities is not. That‘s why many people choose the first one.

Well...in my opinion,nothing beats the stupidity of a man lying about having a vasectomy.

Ya know....there is no other explanation ...other than downright stupidity.  Its so illogical....it boggles the mind. You should have seen the look on his face!  Priceless is effing right!

Lets just say my response was "priceless" as well.  It took me all of two seconds to say f*ck you. I walked. I didnt bow,I didnt kiss ass and I certainly wasnt bribed with my own money.  It was a very enlightening experience.

Sadly,in the end......his friend died of as massive heart attack (they turned on him) while defending me attempting to clean up his loose end.  He may never bow his head for what he did to me.......and hes a effing sociopath if he dosent bow his head for what happened to his friend. 

Just sayin...

Both genders can be complete morons.

Ahhh...dont be so hard on her.  She is taking responsiblity.  Poor judgment in trusting an untrustworthy person, is a far less offense than the person lacking  integrity... rendering them incapable of treating others with respect..  Lets face it.....NONE of us know who the schmucks are until they do something foolish.  Ask any "victim" what they have done wrong...and the answer is usually the same.  They trusted an unworthy person,and got burned.

So where do you suggest the responsibility fall?  To the person who expected respect or the person who has shown no respect? 

Its my firm opinion..the only time you can "blame" a victim is if they so choose to remain in a dysfunctional relationship.

 Lets face it.....NONE of us know who the schmucks are until they do something foolish. 

That is exactly why you need to be carefull. If you leave your house and let the door open, you cannot complaim if someone robs you.

 Ask any "victim" what they have done wrong...and the answer is usually the same.  They trusted an unworthy person,and got burned.

I do not consider them victims at all. I say they play the role of the victim, and they LIKE IT, so they tend do do it over and over on the course of a lifetime. They do whatever they want to do at the moment, and then complaim about the consequences.

So where do you suggest the responsibility fall?  To the person who expected respect or the person who has shown no respect? 

Fall in you cause it‘s your life, and you decide what to do with it. If you have no insurance in your office, and someone burns it by accident or purpose, who is going to pay for the damages ? YOU, so it‘s your responsibility. If you go to a dangerous neighbourhood at night, and get killed or raped, who is to blame for it ? YOU.

If I go out and have sex with a hooker or any slut down the street and end up geting a STD from which I may never recover, who is to blame, the hooker or me ? Obviously, it‘s only me.

You are the only one in this world who has the obligation of caring for you. Nobody else, not even your family has to live up to it. Accept it as a fact.

Oh my my!  Arent you a ray of sunshine!  LOL  You covered a lot there...big guy.  So let me get this straight.....in your esteemed opinion.....thiefs,murder,rape and all other crimes against humanity are not the thief‘s,rapist...ect fault.  Its the victims.

Gottcha! Quite an interesting deluded theory you have going on.  If you dont mind...could you explain that in more detail?  Have you even heard of integrity?  If so....could you tell me what it means to you?

Ohh and by  chance ....do you wear a turban...........and heard of  a guy named Moham?!  LMAO!

.

Oh my my!  Arent you a ray of sunshine!  LOL  You covered a lot there...big guy.  So let me get this straight.....in your esteemed opinion.....thiefs,murder,rape and all other crimes against humanity are not the thief‘s,rapist...ect fault.  Its the victims.

No, my friend it‘s not what I am saying. I am simply saying that you are the one responsible for YOUR life, and you only. You can‘t change the world. You can‘t make a unfaithfull become faithfull. You can‘t make a dangerous neighborhood to become peacefull. All you can do is protect yourself. That is why you don‘t go to certain places at night. That is why you don‘t travel to war thorned countries. That is why you lock your doors when you go out. That is why you have alarm in your car.

Like I said, if you go out, leave your door open, and get robed, it doesn‘t matter if you waste your life whining about, you can‘t find and kill all thiefs. You can‘t stop all wars, and you can‘t make everyone faithfull. That is the reality. All you can do is protect yourself.

ottcha! Quite an interesting deluded theory you have going on.  If you dont mind...could you explain that in more detail?  Have you even heard of integrity?  If so....could you tell me what it means to you?

I heard of integrity. You can be full of integrity. But you can‘t make all the rest of the world to submit to it. That is another reality.

You only control yourself. Example:

Jesus and his apostles

Ghandi

Luther King.

All these men were commited to non-violence, and are examples of peace. Yet, they, and many like them, died violent deaths. Why ? Because it doesn‘t matter who you are and what you believe, you are not immune to the world around you. You can‘t shield yourself with values only.

Ohh and by  chance ....do you wear a turban...........and heard of  a guy named Moham?!  LMAO!

ha, ha, I am sure now you are an American. A muslim must be a violent terrorist, right ? What about your fella, George W.Dumb ?

And by the way, I am attheist, and I live in Brazil which is a majority Catolic country.

Good grief...we‘re not talking about the people who HAVE integrity!  The point is...the people who dont.  They‘re the ones who screw it up for everyone else.  I couldnt agree with you more...in the fact we are all responsible for our own lives.  What we arent responsible for are the schmucks who feel a sense of entitlement and take advantage of others.  Accountability 100% on them.  I find it telling... I didnt hear you speak one single word to hold the guilty to any standard.  None.

Your theory sounded like it came straight out of a book I call "The perfect guide to becoming a sociopath."  The Quran. LOL! 

Ex...if a thief gets away with robbing you....it means allah gave him his blessing and you‘re the one who chose wrong.  However,if the thief gets caught....it means the thief chose wrong. Thats about as ignorant as it gets.  You have shown the same mindset.

Interesting choice of words my friend.  Nobody is asking the world to "submit" (except,of course,muslims lol) The rest of the world just wishes everyone would act like they have an ounce of integrity.  Hence,the world would suffer less from fools. It all boils down to selfishness.  Like it or not.  There is such thing as  right and wrong.  The amount of integrity you hold for yourself determines on which side you stand. 

Well in that story, it says he didn‘t tell her he had a vasectomy.  He didn‘t say that he didn‘t, hence he didn‘t lie about it.

I‘m a bit confused as to your story about your own situation.  Did someone lie to you about having a vasectomy?  Said he did, but then you wound up pregnant?

Ya, that is stupid of him if that is the case.

But in the story above it was the opposite.

Opposite of what?  Connect the dots.  What do both have in common?  LOL!

When Neediness Kills
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6GvmrrIrWU

Good grief...we‘re not talking about the people who HAVE integrity!  The point is...the people who dont.  They‘re the ones who screw it up for everyone else.  I couldnt agree with you more...in the fact we are all responsible for our own lives.  What we arent responsible for are the schmucks who feel a sense of entitlement and take advantage of others.  Accountability 100% on them.  I find it telling... I didnt hear you speak one single word to hold the guilty to any standard.  None.

You don‘t hold any stantards to the world out there. The world is what it is. If we get a killer, we sentence him to death. But that brings life back to those he killed ? No. Your responsibility is to be safe.

It doesn‘t matter really because what I am saying it‘s not about any other person other than you. For example, if you don‘t use the sitbelt, hit your car and die, is your fault for not preparing for it. You have to always consider all possibilities. The chinese used to say: "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

A rich guy must have a pre nupcial agreement before gets married. It‘s better than what happened to Paul maccartney.

If your girfrien is pregnant, have a DNA test. No harm done for a negative result.

Your theory sounded like it came straight out of a book I call "The perfect guide to becoming a sociopath."  The Quran. LOL!  Ex...if a thief gets away with robing you....it means allah gave him his blessing and you‘re the one who chose wrong.  However,if the thief gets caught....it means the thief chose wrong. Thats about as ignorant as it gets.  You have shown the same mindset.

I don‘t believe in a supernatural entity who gives blessing to people, thief or not. And I am not proposing that anyone should engage in illegal or irresponsible behaviour as long they can get away with it.

Religious books never been full of logic, or been required to it. The bible also has too many pearls that you should check out. For example, it states that war and disease are brought from God. No wonder George W. Dumb believes he speaks with Him.

 but I don‘t think this should be the focus of this discussion.

Interesting choice of words my friend.  Nobody is asking the world to "submit" (except,of course,muslims lol) The rest of the world just wishes everyone would act like they have an ounce of integrity.  Hence,the world would suffer less from fools. It all boils down to selfishness.  Like it or not. 

Saying things doesn‘t change the world. The truth is, there are all kinds of dangers, lies and deceit out there, and naivety is the main thing that will make you fall "victim" to them.

There is such thing as  right and wrong.  

Who decides what is right or wrong ? The bible ? The law ? For example, the law of some american states will make a dude pay for child support for a child that is not his. Is that right ?

The amount of integrity you hold for yourself determines on which side you stand. 

And that gives you nothing. Remember Jesus, Ghandi ?

Since you like to talk about religion, the book in the bible called "eclesiastic", written(suposedly) by Solomon, says that there are justs who die in their justice, and unjusts who prolong their life with their injustice. How about that ?

*sigh*  ok then, so since you won‘t answer the question, the "dots" connect to you having a man that lied about having a vasectomy and you wound up pregnant....is that accurate?

If so, then you are correct, highly stupid of him.