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| bubblecropper |
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Posted: 8/30/2009 4:36 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| Japaneseguy wrote: |
| bubblecropper wrote: |
| Japaneseguy wrote: |
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"You are extremely naive...and far too defensive, which suggests to me you have in fact been very hurt in the past."
How am I being defensive ?
"If you are under the impression that you are going to go through life without being treated badly in some way by someone, then you are going to be bitterly dissappointed."
No, I won‘t. I will leave any woman who treats me badly. That‘s how it works.
"Its lifes challenges that make us better people."
So what ? Are you suggesting that I should look for bad relationships so I can have challenges ?
"You seem to be here to deliberately insult people...I wonder what kind of person goes on to a website just to vent their anger and bitterness...and why? I feel terribly sorry for you."
No, I am not here to insult nobody. When I did that ? I will remember again that it‘s YOU who is calling ME all sorts of names and taking cheap shots. The obvious reason for that is that YOU resent my opinions on the issue, and that really get to your head, so you have to resort to attacks to my person instead of arguing my points.
I already told you more than once. Don‘t be sorry for me, don‘t worry about me. |
Everything you‘ve said in this post just proves me right.
I‘m hoping that after a month...perhaps your anger towards women and the world in general has dissapated somewhat.
I don‘t think you are a bad person, just caught up in some negative thinking perhaps?
Metta. |
You say everything I said proves your point.
Lets sum up what I just said:
- I would leave anyone who mistreats me.
- You are calling me names, making attacks ad hominen instead of arguing my points.
- You should not worry about me.
I don‘t know how that can prove your point. I don‘t have any anger towards women, much less the world. I am just not naive. There is a difference between negative thinking and realist thinking.
Bye. |
Ok diddums...you win!!
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/4/2009 7:37 AM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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I believe the “bad boy” is better than the “true nice guy” at attracting women, and turning on their sexual appetite, but in the sack, just like out of the sack, the “true nice guy” is more patient; on the other hand, this patience is what can make a “true nice guy” frustrated, and turn him into the “fake nice guy” or the “bad boy.” I believe most guys start off as “true nice guys,” but their needs start to become overwhelming, so some become the “bad boy,“ others refuse the transformation, becoming “fake nice guys,“ and a few…the fortunate few…get their needs satisfied, and stay the “true nice guy;” this “true nice guy” is able to keep the sexual appetite of his woman going, because she knows other women want him, and they want him because they cannot have him (it is a loop thing.)
There is also a forth and fifth group, call the “hopeless guy,” the guy that just gave up, and the “homosexual guy” (no explanation needed.)
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| Wire |
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Posted: 10/4/2009 12:51 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| someody wrote: | |
I believe the “bad boy” is better than the “true nice guy” at attracting women, and turning on their sexual appetite, but in the sack, just like out of the sack, the “true nice guy” is more patient; on the other hand, this patience is what can make a “true nice guy” frustrated, and turn him into the “fake nice guy” or the “bad boy.” I believe most guys start off as “true nice guys,” but their needs start to become overwhelming, so some become the “bad boy,“ others refuse the transformation, becoming “fake nice guys,“ and a few…the fortunate few…get their needs satisfied, and stay the “true nice guy;” this “true nice guy” is able to keep the sexual appetite of his woman going, because she knows other women want him, and they want him because they cannot have him (it is a loop thing.) There is also a forth and fifth group, call the “hopeless guy,” the guy that just gave up, and the “homosexual guy” (no explanation needed.)
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Very nice perspective. That theory is worth significant psychological peer-review.
It makes me think of men on Dr. Phil doing some introspective assessment to see what category they fall in.
If you‘re willing to divulge, what category do you think you fall into?
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/4/2009 6:59 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| Wire wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
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I believe the “bad boy” is... |
Very nice...
If you‘re willing to divulge, what category do you think you fall into?
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I do not believe it matters what I think; it is what others think that matters.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 1:32 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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sunshine and daisies
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| someody wrote: | |
I believe the “bad boy” is better than the “true nice guy” at attracting women, and turning on their sexual appetite, but in the sack, just like out of the sack, the “true nice guy” is more patient; on the other hand, this patience is what can make a “true nice guy” frustrated, and turn him into the “fake nice guy” or the “bad boy.” I believe most guys start off as “true nice guys,” but their needs start to become overwhelming, so some become the “bad boy,“ others refuse the transformation, becoming “fake nice guys,“ and a few…the fortunate few…get their needs satisfied, and stay the “true nice guy;” this “true nice guy” is able to keep the sexual appetite of his woman going, because she knows other women want him, and they want him because they cannot have him (it is a loop thing.)
There is also a forth and fifth group, call the “hopeless guy,” the guy that just gave up, and the “homosexual guy” (no explanation needed.) |
I believe that once a woman has been screwed over by the bad guy, that they will never settle for anything other then a nice guy again!
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| Wire |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 1:37 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| someody wrote: |
| Wire wrote: | | someody wrote: | | I believe the “bad boy” is... |
Very nice...
If you‘re willing to divulge, what category do you think you fall into?
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I do not believe it matters what I think; it is what others think that matters.
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Your self-image determines what others think. Remember how it has always been said that confidence is sexy? That policy is the cornerstone of the art of seduction.
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| Africanguy |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 2:22 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver Addict
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I believe that once a woman has been screwed over
by the bad guy, that they will never settle for anything other then a
nice guy again!
yeah, she will settle for the nice guy, and continue to be screwed by the bad boy...
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 4:00 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| Africanguy wrote: | I believe that once a woman has been screwed over by the bad guy, that they will never settle for anything other then a nice guy again!
yeah, she will settle for the nice guy, and continue to be screwed by the bad boy...
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As much as I hate to agree with Mr. Misogynist here, I‘ve seen this too many times with friends, and guys who aren‘t so much friends...and a couple times experienced this myself.
I‘m not talking about all women, and certainly I hope it doesn‘t pertain to the women at this site(and i don‘t think it does)...but women will cry to the mountain top about being treated like crap from the "bad boys", then find a great guy....but screw the great guy over for the bad boy...or mess around behind the good guy‘s back for the guy they really want.
Then later on wonder why they can‘t find a "good guy". They can find them...problem is, a good guy knows he might be being settled for....so the good guy becomes very selective. I stopped dating someone once I found out the kind of guys they usually went for.
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| Wire |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 5:22 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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That‘s exactly what happened to me recently. It turned out that I was a rebound relationship.
Her ex is a pathological liar. He is in prison right now for burglary. They dated for 3 years and they have a daughter. They have one because he lied and said he wanted one, just so he wouldn‘t have to wear a condom. When she told him she was pregnant, he flipped out and left her. He has lied and broken her heart countless times.
Then, a short while into dating, she told me that I am everything her ex said he was. I know I am a good person.
And now, with him sending her one mushy letter after breaking contact for 4 months, she is going back to him. I‘m confident, I am strong and I am one of the most self-aware, ethical people you will ever meet. I did everything right and it still wasn‘t enough.
I think... perhaps there are women out there who really get off on being treated badly. My mother is like that.
Sometimes I wish I had a uterus of my own so I wouldn‘t need to get involved in dating, but then again I don‘t believe hermaphrodites can reproduce. Oh well...
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| someody |
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Posted: 10/5/2009 6:00 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver Lurker
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| Wire wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
| Wire wrote: |
| someody wrote: |
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I believe the “bad boy” is... |
Very nice...
If you‘re willing to divulge, what category do you think you fall into?
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I do not believe it matters what I think; it is what others think that matters. |
Your self-image determines what others think. Remember how it has always been said that confidence is sexy? That policy is the cornerstone of the art of seduction.
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Thank you for your thoughts, but I am not here to talk about me, nor get dating advice; on the other hand, I understand you are just creating conversation, so thank you again.
Yes…it is certainly more productive in relationships to show confidence than not, but this helps in the real world, like genes determining if you will get cancer; it is good to check your gene pool, but not good to rely on it. I am reminded of this cliché that goes something like this: “Friends do not need explanations, and adversaries will never believe.” A more related example for this forum: if a person walks in to a room full of people that think that person is a manipulating asshole, it will take more than confidence for that person to convince them he/she is the real McCoy nice person.
Like I said, I am not here to talk about me; I actually got here by accident, through many mouse clicks looking for somewhat different articles, and I am only responding to you to help you understand my answer.
Now for those guys who are thinking, “yea…you need money.” My answer is I believe it changes with time and with people, and more than not, you just need a good reason why, if you do not (have money.) Now...regular bathing habits is always a good thing.
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| Africanguy |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 2:03 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver Addict
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Juanito
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"I‘m not talking about all women, and certainly I hope it doesn‘t
pertain to the women at this site(and i don‘t think it does)...but
women will cry to the mountain top about being treated like crap from
the "bad boys", then find a great guy....but screw the great guy over
for the bad boy...or mess around behind the good guy‘s back for the guy
they really want."
Why do you use this apologetic tone when saying such things ? Everyone know what you are talking about, including the women here.
When men get to a certain age they learn. Some of them. Some never learn. Some knows women by pure instinct. this is the badboy. The good guy they talk about when they are old, ugly, fat and full of kids from badboys is the one who never learns, or he never had any women so he did not had the opportunity to learn in the first place.
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| Africanguy |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 2:08 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver Addict
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| Wire wrote: |
That‘s exactly what happened to me recently. It turned out that I was a rebound relationship.
Her ex is a pathological liar. He is in prison right now for burglary. They dated for 3 years and they have a daughter. They have one because he lied and said he wanted one, just so he wouldn‘t have to wear a condom. When she told him she was pregnant, he flipped out and left her. He has lied and broken her heart countless times.
Then, a short while into dating, she told me that I am everything her ex said he was. I know I am a good person.
And now, with him sending her one mushy letter after breaking contact for 4 months, she is going back to him. I‘m confident, I am strong and I am one of the most self-aware, ethical people you will ever meet. I did everything right and it still wasn‘t enough.
I think... perhaps there are women out there who really get off on being treated badly. My mother is like that.
Sometimes I wish I had a uterus of my own so I wouldn‘t need to get involved in dating, but then again I don‘t believe hermaphrodites can reproduce. Oh well...
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You are 22 and you are dating a women WITH KIDS ? You had it coming.
NEVER date a single mother, much less in your young age. There are plenty of women out there who did not had kids with criminals.
"I did everything right and it still wasn‘t enough."
You have this in the wrong frame. You don‘t exist in this world to please women. You need to find women who fit in YOUR life, not the opposite. Never settle for less than you deserve. Never date a woman below your level.
Do "things right" will get you nowhere.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 6:28 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| Africanguy wrote: | I believe that once a woman has been screwed over by the bad guy, that they will never settle for anything other then a nice guy again!
yeah, she will settle for the nice guy, and continue to be screwed by the bad boy...
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What a comment to make!
You are wrong, the bad boy attracts many women.
But once you have a nice guy, you won‘t go back.
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| Drew J |
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Posted: 10/6/2009 7:24 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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You can‘t afford to. You‘re forty now. You have to grab on to what you need. I recall you saying you missed going for motorcycle rides. I bet secretly you wish you had your old man back. If only he wasn‘t a cheater. Just that one problem. Otherwise, everything else about him probably still makes you feel attracted to him.
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| Wire |
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Posted: 10/7/2009 7:43 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| Africanguy wrote: | You are 22 and you are dating a women WITH KIDS ? You had it coming.
NEVER date a single mother, much less in your young age. There are plenty of women out there who did not had kids with criminals.
"I did everything right and it still wasn‘t enough."
You have this in the wrong frame. You don‘t exist in this world to please women. You need to find women who fit in YOUR life, not the opposite. Never settle for less than you deserve. Never date a woman below your level.
Do "things right" will get you nowhere.
|
Lemme just start by saying that I‘m not the type of person who lets himself be a doormat. I hope that‘s not what you inferred because that‘s just plain wrong.
The reason why I dated her (she is a few years older than me) is because I am mature enough to handle it, and quite frankly, she was an improvement to the people I used to date. I‘m open-minded.
Besides this, I posted what I did to shine light on an anecdotal event. I‘m perfectly capable of learning any life lessons that come my way, including those from other people‘s lives.
I have no grief behind the sentence with which you quoted me. I was making an observation, contributing to the thread. I‘m already well aware of all these lessons but well, there are deep external circumstances that convinced me to date her in the first place. I‘m not going to elaborate on what they are; just suffice to say, I was well aware of what I was getting into.
By the way, I‘m saying all this because you referenced my age, as though it were significant. My level of maturity and wisdom is well past my physical age. Don‘t anticipate the characteristics of people you meet on the internet. I think that might be what‘s wrong with online dating.
I appreciate your perspective, don‘t get me wrong. Just remember that nobody is their age. They are who they are.
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/9/2009 10:28 AM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| sunny fl wrote: | I believe that once a woman has been screwed over by the bad guy, that they will never settle for anything other then a nice guy again!
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only problem with that is, the nice guy IS being settled for PURELY on the basis that the men they really want had "screwed" them over.
this is where nice guys need to be very selective. If a nice guy has alot to offer and knows a woman is more than likely "settling" for them, when they really would like a bad boy...then the nice guy at that point needs to be cautious and not so haphazardly jump into committment with a woman that is attracted to bad boys.
Not saying a nice guy isn‘t a freak in bed, I certainly think I am. And I know how to get out and have fun with any woman of mine. but if I know a woman has been attracted to the players and jerks because of their perceived sexual prowess because of their perceived confidence, or rather, cockiness.....then I don‘t exactly open up to a woman that has that preference. I just don‘t see how I am their type and I won‘t be settled for.
True, it would be hard to decipher which women would rather have a bad boy, but see me as more stable and trustworthy, but hey, thats all to be found out in the dating process right? And if I don‘t find anyone and am simply able to date around and have fun, hey...works for me.
Nice guys....don‘t settle for a woman that is settling for you. Be selective and have fun!!!
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| MrTrueBlue |
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Posted: 10/9/2009 10:30 AM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| sunny fl wrote: |
| Africanguy wrote: |
I believe that once a woman has been screwed over by the bad guy, that they will never settle for anything other then a nice guy again!
yeah, she will settle for the nice guy, and continue to be screwed by the bad boy...
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What a comment to make!
You are wrong, the bad boy attracts many women.
But once you have a nice guy, you won‘t go back. |
"the bad boy attracts women"
ok, that then means that the nice guy isn‘t AS attractive to women.
Sorry, if someone that wants to be with me likes my personality, but isn‘t attracted to me......then no thanks.
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| Africanguy |
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Posted: 10/9/2009 1:47 PM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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Juanito
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| Wire wrote: |
| Africanguy wrote: |
You are 22 and you are dating a women WITH KIDS ? You had it coming.
NEVER date a single mother, much less in your young age. There are plenty of women out there who did not had kids with criminals.
"I did everything right and it still wasn‘t enough."
You have this in the wrong frame. You don‘t exist in this world to please women. You need to find women who fit in YOUR life, not the opposite. Never settle for less than you deserve. Never date a woman below your level.
Do "things right" will get you nowhere.
|
Lemme just start by saying that I‘m not the type of person who lets himself be a doormat. I hope that‘s not what you inferred because that‘s just plain wrong.
The reason why I dated her (she is a few years older than me) is because I am mature enough to handle it, and quite frankly, she was an improvement to the people I used to date. I‘m open-minded.
Besides this, I posted what I did to shine light on an anecdotal event. I‘m perfectly capable of learning any life lessons that come my way, including those from other people‘s lives.
I have no grief behind the sentence with which you quoted me. I was making an observation, contributing to the thread. I‘m already well aware of all these lessons but well, there are deep external circumstances that convinced me to date her in the first place. I‘m not going to elaborate on what they are; just suffice to say, I was well aware of what I was getting into.
By the way, I‘m saying all this because you referenced my age, as though it were significant. My level of maturity and wisdom is well past my physical age. Don‘t anticipate the characteristics of people you meet on the internet. I think that might be what‘s wrong with online dating.
I appreciate your perspective, don‘t get me wrong. Just remember that nobody is their age. They are who they are. |
I understand.
Hey, have you ever heard of DavidDeAngelo ?
He has a book and is a best seller as far as I know, and he deals with improving your dating life.
I think his website is www.doubleyourdating.com, but just google his name and you will find something.
I am not a follower of his philosophy, but I his advices were very usefull for me when I was tottally green, so to speak.
If you already know of him, just ignore the comment.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/13/2009 9:57 AM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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| Drew J wrote: | | You can‘t afford to. You‘re forty now. You have to grab on to what you need. I recall you saying you missed going for motorcycle rides. I bet secretly you wish you had your old man back. If only he wasn‘t a cheater. Just that one problem. Otherwise, everything else about him probably still makes you feel attracted to him. |
You are wrong about many things, I maybe forty but that doesn‘t mean that I am not attractive to men. I have been asked out alot, but won‘t settle. I would spend my life alone before I settled. I also can ride a bike myself if I missed it that much.
I see younger women that are attracted to bad boys and I think back to myself at that age and realize how stupid it was.
Now that I have been treated wonderful by a nice guy, I will never settle again.
I have had several chances to get back with my ex and refuse to. I have seen how wonderful life is with a man that is responsible, charming and organized. With a man that puts his family first.
So sorry Drew you are wrong, I don‘t want to go back. If i did go back, I don‘t think he would ever cheat again. He realized what he lost.
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| Funnysl |
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Posted: 10/13/2009 10:04 AM |
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Subject: nice guys |
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WomanSaver MoFo
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only problem with that is, the nice guy IS being settled for PURELY on the basis that the men they really want had "screwed" them over.
I think we all live and learn. I do not feel I have settled for anything.
this is where nice guys need to be very selective. If a nice guy has alot to offer and knows a woman is more than likely "settling" for them, when they really would like a bad boy...then the nice guy at that point needs to be cautious and not so haphazardly jump into committment with a woman that is attracted to bad boys.
I was married for 20 years, my ex bad boy stage didn‘t start until he turned 50, I would have never classified him as a nice guy, but he wasn‘t really bad back then either.
I also don‘t feel that my nice guy, isn‘t being selective, we have a lot in common, and have a great time together, I can honestly say, I don‘t want to be with anybody else.
Not saying a nice guy isn‘t a freak in bed, I certainly think I am. And I know how to get out and have fun with any woman of mine. but if I know a woman has been attracted to the players and jerks because of their perceived sexual prowess because of their perceived confidence, or rather, cockiness.....then I don‘t exactly open up to a woman that has that preference. I just don‘t see how I am their type and I won‘t be settled for.
I agree, just because he is nice doesn‘t mean that he isn‘t fantatic in bed!!!!!
True, it would be hard to decipher which women would rather have a bad boy, but see me as more stable and trustworthy, but hey, thats all to be found out in the dating process right? And if I don‘t find anyone and am simply able to date around and have fun, hey...works for me.
It also works for me!
Nice guys....don‘t settle for a woman that is settling for you. Be selective and have fun!!!
amen!!!
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